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#307141
<+ajackmeh20> You know I just thought of a Mad Men drinking game. Except it's rather simple. You just drink every time they do. You'll get drunk pretty quickly.
#8094
<Perforator\zzz> my grandma was going thru my room today for some ungodly reason and found some of my gf's clothes she "accidently" left here.
<Perforator\zzz> i'm all, "i like to wear black panties, DAMNIT"
#13443
<[d]-kCmCg-> at least your computer didnt lock up like a nervous virgin on prom night....
#16555
<@E-vangelist> are asian masturbation jokes shorter?
#59695
<StupidStupor> I just got back from the hospital, getting a cast put on my kid's arm.
<MoFoCowKing> Damn.
<StupidStupor> I was teaching him to ride his bike without his training wheels, but when I let go, he fell off the bike.
<StupidStupor> So I broke the little bastard's arm.
#225719
scaramouche: My inhibitions are the only thing keeping me from fucking everything that walks erect.
scaramouche: ... >_<
scaramouche: I don't know how to salvage that sentence.
WildTang3nt: That is so fucking epic, I can't even make a witty remark about it.
WildTang3nt: Instead I shall stare in reverence for several moments
scaramouche: Yes, kneel before me, mortal.
WildTang3nt: I'll kneel before you... :) so I can eat you out ;)
scaramouche: I knew that was coming.
scaramouche: GAH/
scaramouche: FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GAG ME.
WildTang3nt: with... what? ;)
scaramouche: AAAAAAAH WHY CAN'T I STOP
scaramouche: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
#36900
<rhyno> okay
<rhyno> I must be losing my mind
<rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station
<rhyno> because I can't find my car keys
<rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago
<DaemonX> pj station?
<rhyno> yeah
<rhyno> gas station
<rhyno> but the thing was
<rhyno> I was going there to get gas
<DaemonX> without your car?
<rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys
<rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk"
<rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I going here for.."
<rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!"
<rhyno> then walked back
<DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that
#60378
<OpZChAoS> hands up anyone who has ever stuffed up a linux installation
* SKoRM puts hands up
<Peppery> never :)
<SKoRM> put a finger up for every time your windows has crashed?
* SKoRM puts up 17
<Peppery> cant...
<Peppery> fingers dont go that high
#74903
<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay
Comment: server: irc.ruxcon.org.au, #ozphreak
#11571
<Hell_Patrol> I wish the girl of my dreams would stop fucking haunting my dreams, I wish death upon the stupid bitch
#306094
yaoi_prophet: i see a red node and i want it painted black
yaoi_prophet: no children any more, i want it to turn black
yaoi_prophet: i see inserts go by, no matter how many nodes within
yaoi_prophet: i know that my tree's max height is bounded O(log n)
Comment: #cobol
#249522
<Shadders> God is within Yourself
<Mike> then I hope He likes tacos, because tonight its what He's getting
#54583
<Biablo> wrestling is 6 inches away from gay sex
<Gafgarion> 6 inches away? more like a thin speedo away from gay sex
#310731
<asaph> So you're over a year and a half into your transition?
<Zyradyl> Yup.
<cjk> Okay so since you've been on both hormonal sides, is there any major difference between the two
<Zyradyl> 89.9% of the time no, except I do have to deal with some unwanted attention, which probably contributes to the 10.1% of the time.
<cjk> whats that
<Zyradyl> Well. Okay. If you had asked me what 2+2 equaled on a bad day where I was testosterone heavy, You would have gotten a "Four, You fucking muppet" and at the absolute worst, a punch in the face.
<Zyradyl> Do the same thing to me now, and I'm going to spend 30 minutes reducing you to feeling absolutely worthless, then say "Four you fucking muppet" and slap you.
<asaph> Holy shit.
<Zyradyl> I don't want to hit people as much. However, I want to make them cry so much more than before. Which i guess means 2+2 equals four, and a whole bunch of unresolved emotional issues.
#44129
svladnecjelli: i am recovering from an end of the year drunk
svladnecjelli: i keep hoping that i will find a moderation gene
svladnecjelli: or evidence of it
MotorToad: you're irish
MotorToad: the only thing you can hope for in moderation is salary
#10793
<CrushWork> hes got that "im a barbarin caveman who eats snails and says ooga booga" style look to him
<Jed> "I'm a barbarian caveman that eats snails, says ooga booga and lays cable for a living"
#8293
<sarahlee> got hooked on those stupid video chatrooms
<deepcut> the kind where you see old guys jacking off into a sock and stuff ? :\
#3319
<Blaz_> zwhats the old bitches name on spin city
<Blaz_> heather locklear
<Blaz_> shes gota be 40 something
<WS666> Heather is something like 40 but I'd drag my balls across a mile of broken glass to do her
#294867
<tetsu2051> (url to girl on facebook)
<tetsu2051> look at this
<packeterror> your so smitten
<tetsu2051> yes I am
<tetsu2051> that's why she should be mine
<tetsu2051> look at those eyes...
<tetsu2051> the eyes of a tiger
<tetsu2051> I want to
<tetsu2051> I don't know what I want to do
<tetsu2051> but damned if it probably involves my penis
#45504
<X-PiZeR> thy want me to say how my com skills were improved by my work placement
<X-PiZeR> i really dont know how to start talking about comunication skills ... :(
<Darien> I hope you see the irony in that statement
#53794
< withnail> apparently when we were all apes they used to get a gang of like 5 males and take it in turns on a female ape while the others held her down
< jijicat> withnail: that's a good example of cooperation and working together
#14475
[Nothingface] fuck, I can't type
[@PMV] its easy
[@PMV] step 1: bang head on keyboard
[@PMV] step 2: repeat
#49395
<digi> I had written a Dune quote on my board this morning: "Truth suffers from too much analysis". Upon returning this evening, I saw that it had been changed to "ruth suffers from too much anal"
#84297
<stac> ...
<stac> wtf
<stac> i just called a mate in the office
<stac> he picks up and informs me that he is in the toilet taking a crap
<stac> i tell him i'll call later
<stac> and he says "no no, we can talk. it will be a longer session"
Comment: mWtNet/#sporks
#33813
<motolov> why arent the fat girls honest at least
<motolov> like, hobbies: eating, stuffing my face until my colon hurts
<motolov> etc.