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#1734
::: .signoff@2.59p> Townshend (wang@cb31185-c.rmdws1.il.home.com); Geek used to be a 4-letter word; now it's a 6-figure one.
#150316
<Jackal>: So I went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, he went inside and came out with a sandwich bag...... note to self new best friend.
#10084
<X> come cover the desk so i can pizza, darrell :)
<Zero> I need to wait for the landlord's dwarves to arrive and forge a new thermostat
#300865
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other
#2011
<Speef> man
<Speef> I have some killer gas
<matts> go to the terrorists... they'll need your help
#43840
<eldritch> today I stole wheat bran!
<eldritch> I marked my bag of whole wheat pasta with the number for regular pasta (whole wheat costs 2x as much :P)
<eldritch> and since the number is a diff between a 6 and a 9 if I get caught I can just say "oops how dyslexic of me"
<Fennec> haha
<eldritch> I checked my receipt after and sure enough the woman at the counter didnt notice and only charged me for spaghetti and not whole wheat spaghetti
<eldritch> next time I am going to see if I can sneak cashews out disguised as peanuts!
Comment: #angband, WorldIRC
#7972
<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?! it'll take you all day to download that bagel!
#6868
* Brooke just adores the way you people try to worm out of stuff. <G> "Could you explain it to Brooke?" "I'd love to, but I'm right in the middle of chewing my hand off."
#30454
(Sprite): boiled egg?
(Sprite): im a spack cook
(LoneGun): sprite just do in microwave for like 2 mins
(Sprite): on it's own lonegun ?
(LoneGun): aye sprite
(Ched): 2 mins
(Ched): for 650 watt microwave
(Sprite): so a egg, in a bowl, on it's own for 2 mins in a microwave ?
(Sprite): n1 im off to cook
(Sprite): k guys
(Sprite): u guys are cocks
(Sprite): the egg just blow up
Comment: Cooking in #digwar (quakenet) with the unsuspecting sprite. His cullinary skills are now renowned as a result.
#21841
<Darien> I'm trying to decide how to ask Kristen out
<Darien> should I go the 'I was thining of catching a movie, wondered if...' route
<Darien> or the 'We need to go to a movie, like tonight.' route
<Darien> or what?
<dsalkjdsa> first of all, you need to start it off with 'bitch'
<dsalkjdsa> THEN you say ssomething strong and pushy, bitches like that
<Darien> yeah
<Darien> that's true'
<dsalkjdsa> bitch, get in my car, we're going to a dinner and movie; by dinner i mean we're going to have sex, and by movie i mean we're going to tape it.
<dsalkjdsa> oohh yeahhh.
<dsalkjdsa> something like that :)
#2812
<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses
#34600
<homerj_> DDR modes are like EASY, NORMAL, AZN
#101646
<@Foxhill> Skittles_Goddess - for something that is basically just an overly complex life support system for a vagina i haven't entered yet, you're pretty damn sexy
#4159
<Teratogen> what is the difference between PMS and PWS?
<Rhelik> Teratogen: one is a curse on men sent by god, the other is a curse on men sent by microsoft
#8636
<teste_fly> i talk shit, and none of it's true and i'm a skinny pussy who wouldn't harm a turd
<teste_fly> but i will give it a stern talking to
#24078
<whitcomb> i somehow get the feeling that listening to the cure and looking at porn is very, very wrong
#14485
<jodaro> hmm, my mom just invited me over for dinner
<jodaro> mm, free food
<stu> you mean your mum doesn't charge for dinner?
<jodaro> no
<stu> damn
#1753
<Squizzle> WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.
#300780
gAmmA: Olivia Munn is single
gAmmA: I'm going to California
Axoren: No you're not.
Axoren: You're gonna google her and jack off.
#1704
<tress> I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
#9222
<Al> vasectomy is a foolish barbarism
<Al> it would be completely unnecessary is men weren't so stupid to keep having sex with women
<jre|away> It's not that. The odd sperm cell can cling to air particles and accidentally get sucked into a passing vagina
<Vodex> like an extraction fan but in reverse
<Al> damn those vaginas, is there no depravity they will not commit
#300455
<Alter-Ego> what you should do cougem is knock the girl out with all the drugs and stuff
<Alter-Ego> then put her balls in her mouth
<+Asestorian> ...
<%cougem> ...
<Alter-Ego> and get someone to take a photo
<+Asestorian> what
<%cougem> ...
<%cougem> Alter-Ego have u ever seen a naked girl
#12027
<Dreadnaut> i used to write poems about suicide and shit
<KrON> i did poems about cheese and stuff
#85737
OnionsAhoy: jacking off is like playing solitaire, you only play so that when you win you get to see the cards do that flip out thing
#127
<MadHatter> I've been using mirc exclusively for like 6-7 years or whatever
<MadHatter> I could get mIRC certified by now