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#60114
lowbacca1977: clearly, dating is a very odd thing
TwoTone Strauss: yeah. here's hoping i never have to be a part of it
lowbacca1977: never be a part of dating? going the mail-order bride route?
lowbacca1977: cuz i've got a 2 for 1 coupon if you're interested
TwoTone Strauss: no, i just hope to ....
TwoTone Strauss: uh
TwoTone Strauss: yeah, im not gonna talk to you anymore tonight
#40807
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
#712
<Jingoro`> I dont wana see pictures of brazilian santaclause
<Jingoro`> he probably has roms in his sack
#43
<Dr_DOS> Tupac Shakur sounds like a Protoss name.
#244195
BigPapaSmurf695: what the hell is a nosegay
az721: it's like a bouquet
BigPapaSmurf695: oh
BigPapaSmurf695: i figured they just put nose and gay together to make a silly name
BigPapaSmurf695: its like saying earhomo
BigPapaSmurf695: or eyefag
az721: ok, i think we should really try to get earhomo into the lexicon
#28301
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!"
#16913
<Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
<Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
<Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
<todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
<Stemish> well, that too
#37289
(Eagle): I just watched a cock fight
(Deranged): You and your boyfriend at it again?
#51022
* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?
#25625
* Xian just heard a loud bang out side
<Xian> OMG
<Xian> THe pizza boy hit our car!
<Valv|tuba> WHAT?
<Boko> Is the pizza okay!?!?
#303235
<Erik> I tried going outside once, but there was this thing that hurt my eyes, so I stayed in.
<Megan> sun?
<Megan> hehe
<Erik> no, ugly people.
Comment: #theg-spot irc.chatfreedom.com
#3006
<djLiKu> 8=========D
<insanelee> wow.. . is that life size?
<djLiKu> yeah
<djLiKu> if u have a 200 inch monitor
#51285
<Retro> THE MIRACLE OF CELL DIVISION
<Retro> o
<Retro> 0
<Retro> 8
<Retro> oo
#31935
[@cjohnson]: I found out today that I'm only 5'5"
[@cjohnson]: :(
[@cjohnson]: I thought I was like 7'2"
[[DC_T]Rowsdower11]: heh
[@beoba]: what, your height?
[@cjohnson]: ...
@cjohnson]: no, i weigh 5'5"
#30402
<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit
#16730
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'
#13444
<@Shadowbuilder> haha have you ever seen that commercial
<@Shadowbuilder> theres kid talking on a chat room
<@NwG|Canucks> no explain
<@Shadowbuilder> hes cybering with some girl, and he says "moan, moan for me as load as possible"
<@Shadowbuilder> then you hear thing sound come from the corner of his house, soudns like moaning
<@Shadowbuilder> and the kid says "mom?????"
<@NwG|Canucks> lol
#69556
<Cin> Why do grandparents have no sense of time?
<Teshi> It goes so slowly for them.
<TheFoundation> it's a well known fact that as you grow older, your velocity approaches the speed of light
<TheFoundation> that's why old people always appear to move slowly, and shrink in size
#35719
<menno> damnit
<menno> nvidia mousemat broke my table :(
<DEATH> wtf?
<menno> yeah, it was one of those selfsucking mousemats
<menno> when I tried to pull it off it took half of the table with it
#27658
[GrasMan] when i heard that holly jones' murderer was a software developer for MDS i though 'Hey, that means a job opening'
#229818
<chicane> Sex And The City EXTENDED DVDRip XviD-BeStDivX
<chicane> sigh
<chicane> another release
<Atrius> I already thought that sarah jessica parker's nose was extended enough
#2910
<Berzerker> like one time i shit on a bench in my school playground
<Berzerker> and like it smelt so bad
<Berzerker> and i covered it with playground gravel
<Berzerker> and like when the cafeteria aid came the next day she cleared it off with her hand
<Berzerker> and like
<Berzerker> poop!
#7713
<TonyD> you hatiater
<DamianMor> What on earth is a hatiater?
<TonyD> it's a word I just made up
<TonyD> someone who radiates hate
#61127
<hydro-> and the boss tells me i can use their parking lot to fuck bitches in my car
#7201
<@WatchDragon> dude, i am like -- that close to having my boating licence
<@motardo> dude, you are like -- that close to having a mullet