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#18317
<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence

#140839
<snow_> going to go watch this video about a guy who masturbates
<snow_> 12+ times a day
<snow_> some uk channel 5 documentary called "i can't stop masturbating"
<snow_> this gay looking dude just wacked it in the bathroom of a convenience store
<snow_> and they got it on camera
<snow_> of like his upper body
<snow_> and him jacking away
<snow_> why did i download this

#5357
<+shagman> man, my ice water tastes like shit this morning
<+SuperGayHomo> well don't get it out of the toilet bowl
<@shagman> I wonder if it's my ice cubes
<@shagman> I'm gonna try the ones from the other tray
<@shagman> ahhhhh, much better
<@SuperGayHomo> those ones came from the tank

#11397
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps

#35679
<AmishOne> Okay, this is just funny.
<AmishOne> So at notacon, one of the guests was attemping to win the crowd over by saying he would buy us alcohol with his platnium card.
<AmishOne> He was waving it around to make the point.
<AmishOne> I got a picture of this.
<AmishOne> I just realized now that I can read the full card information off of it in my picture.

#27949
<willo> so
<willo> this morning
<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road.
<willo> I didn't let him by
<willo> I get to work
<ogw-iii> that sounds painful
<willo> and it turns out to be the guy in the next cube
<willo> I'm trying to determine an appropriate beratement.
<willo> stoning?
<ogw-iii> "<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road."
<willo> you put that in bash.org and I'll hurt you.
*** willo is now known as HULK
<HULK> PUNY HUMAN!
<ogw-iii> how's about bash.cx?

#243
<!Lun_e> ill just sit here and eat my Kice Rispy Paralellogram.

#11145
<choconado> aggh...horrible no cut and paste in mirc :(
<Saber> yes there is
<Saber> by selecting the text it's automatically copied to your clipboard
<Saber> you need to select from left to right
<choconado> my version doesn't do that...it puts up a finger icon
<choconado> oh wait...
<choconado> dude...i've had mirc for two and a half fucking years, and i learn this NOW?!?

#48324
<HellPopeHuey> So, didja get some real work?
<Epoch> yeah, today I cleaned viruses off a pc at a baptist church... viruses obtained by SURFING PR0N
<HellPopeHuey> Jesus saves... your History

#15464
<Nozomu> ted: and no one has ever crashed a movie theater into the pentagon
<rogue> noz: they might.  we should be careful.

#297256
<Mr_Nobu> So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

#38603
<Sohcahtoa> So my girlfriend and I were at the store to get some stuff and we see a friend of ours.
<Sohcahtoa> He calls out "Hey!  Its Bianca and DJ!  Or is it DJ and Bianca?"
<Sohcahtoa> And trying to be all witty, I say "It's DJ and Bianca!"  I always come first!"
<Sohcahtoa> And my girlfriend says "Yes...you DO always come first..."

#5309
<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays

#1663
<goltrpoat> 'britney spears' is an anagram for 'presbyterians.'

#8527
<dr_rotcod> you know its days like these when you say to yourself, 'If I don't become famous, how am I going to kill these people and get away with it?'

#17897
<deh> fuck
<deh> man lead singer of hanson
<deh> fuck shes so hot

#176439
<IpodLinux> Ubuntu is African word for "I just switched from windows"

#6724
<Goldenstimme1> 46 M lonely, self-employed, employed myself earlier this evening

#35782
<DX|> what do they call those things on the side of the road? that make annoying noises when you drive over them, so you don't fall asleep?
<DX|> other than children?

#310042
<JoeCreates> I've a question about memory pooling
<icetooth> add that chemical that turns leaked memory blue so you can track down the source

#303074
<banquo> J and I bought Ron and his wife a fuckswing for their wedding present.
<banquo> They won't admit to having used it, but they do have a fern in their bedroom now that's on a REALLY big eyebolt

#1723
<k-rad-bob> i made an avi of me jacking off
<k-rad-bob> then i jacked off while watching it
* linKnee is afk: PUKING

#49282
<TrogL> Found a new use for a chainsaw.  Daughter's boyfriend wouldn't wake up.  Ran the chainsaw outside his window.  He bolted out of bed yelling "I didn't do it!  I didn't do it!"  He was still twitching three hours later
<Phoon> ROFLMAO
<Phoon> that's why nothing will beat a 12 gauge shotgun for home defense
<Phoon> Even a cat burglar with ice water in his veins will shit himself at the sound of a 12-gauge being pumped
<Phoon> you don't even need to fire it
<Phoon> hell, you don't even need the gun... just the cocking mechanism and a bottle of carpet cleaner to get rid of the shit stain

#44926
<@shrapnel> im going to create a doll with black hair, and a razor in one hand
<@shrapnel> i will call it
<@shrapnel> "Tickle me Emo"
Comment: #tenor @ irc.gameradius.org

#31955
* Hyou-Chan[draw] (kyoshyu@Admin.Nightstar.Net) Quit (Quit: Every night, you come when I sleep; you touch me; you suck me; you enjoy it, and then leave me to suffer... Goddamn mosquito!)

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