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#18149
<JonnyButt> dont you hate it when you are making out with a chick
<Dunebug> no
<JonnyButt> and she has a penis
#8727
<Afterglow> I remember when i was leaving for university my brother told me, "If you come back a goth I'll kill you".
<Jon_R> my brother just said "If you come back I'll kill you"
<Linguica> my brother said "come on my back or i'll kill you"
#43233
<DArkEyeS> it may seem like I'm not like other guys and I'm not after the girl for sex, but in reality, I just don't want her to see my small penis.
#30416
<pyxl> my schedule says I'm taking physics this year
<matterless> Good, it builds character.
<pyxl> your sympathy is overwhelming
#3053
<Boba> You know who should get in the NBA? Mini-Me.
<collusion> yeah, and he should play center right?
<Boba> No...he's obviously a power forward. Are you sure you watch basketball?
#299740
<Plagman> well calls on my phone tend to panic its kernel since the last modifications I made
<Plagman> but nethack plays great.
#453
<Cennt-> "how did your grandma die"
<Cennt-> "she saw me masturbating"
#12306
<AGaeris> With her gone, now Breathe is the only girl-type left for me to talk to in here.
<@Breathe> Who said you could talk to me?
#36259
<Jilly> i like bondage
<Jilly> do u?
<Jilly> pm me if u do
<Edestiny> this isnt jill
<Edestiny> she isnt signed on to msn
<Edestiny> evening mike
<Jilly> hi edd
#7322
<chris> Spit or Swallow?
<holly> both, I spit and let you swallow
#49447
<MrMog> god damn I hate overly "random" people who are thusly extremely predictable
<Kjiersz> heh
<MrMog> I wonder how you say lamp in french
#1139
<SYch0> heh
* SYch0 has a great family
<SYch0> :D
<Ash> Because they indulge you.
<Ash> But if they keep doing that, you'll grow up fat and arrogant!
<Ash> Oh, wait.... :(
#8902
<DL|horses> Death to all who oppose me!
* Warlord dies
#13469
<Khalal> I never did understand that quote NG
<NintendoGuru> Khalal: That's because you haven't seen a picture of Andrew Vestal
<Khalal> What does he look like?
<NintendoGuru> Think Richard Simmons french kissing and electrical outlet
#43695
<SpazLink> Dyslexic?
<Kederaji> Why is that word so bloody hard to spell?
<Kederaji> It's like it's taunting them.
<Kederaji> "Guess what, you're dyslexic, and you'll never be able to spell it!"
Comment: esper.net #C&T
#294694
<Englishbob> "We need to incorporate everything fun, great and functional about the 21st century"
<Englishbob> "This, my friends, is a USB rocket glitter lamp"
#10226
<True_Blue> You ever buy ribbed condoms?
<True_Blue> I always turn them inside out, I'm selfish
#58069
<shinakuma> what res do i have if i have 1280x1024
<kaiser_justus> shinakuma: what kind of fruit do i have if i have a lemon?
<shinakuma> i dont' know what
<shinakuma> lime?
<shinakuma> kaiser what is the answer
<shinakuma> oh citrus fruit
Comment: #kawaii-radio !
#29450
<ncik> i just found £10 in my pocket
<ncik> that's handy
<LERCH> i love it when that happens
<LERCH> especialy when its not my trousers i am wearing
<Chris[ni]> i found somthing in my trousers
<Chris[ni]> considerably larger than £10
* LERCH ignors chris's last comment
<Chris[ni]> it was my wallet
#2542
<PolestaR> what the hell is a segway
<Marudek> we already have electric wheel chairs
<PolestaR> how fast is it?
<DooD> about 15 mph
<PolestaR> pfft
<PolestaR> i can have sex quicker then that
#56416
<DietPop> ahahha my neighbor is a dumbass
<DietPop> a couple weeks ago he was getting ready to bbq and i was outside walking my dog, and i saw him putting lighter fluid on it
<DietPop> i'm looking at him and i say "doug i think you're using too much lighter fluid on that grill"
<DietPop> he's like "well the charcoal is moist from the rain last month so i need more fluid on it"
<DietPop> i could have told him that it'd probably do fine, but instead i said "yeah, you're probably right"
<DietPop> i think he finished off the bottle, strikes a match..
<DietPop> the next thing i see is a good sized fireball which singes most of the hair on his head
<DietPop> he freaks out and knocks over the grill...spills out on the lawn and the lawn catches on fire
<DietPop> i'm laughing so hard i could barely run over there and hose him and the lawn down
<DietPop> best day ever
<DietPop> to top it off, yesterday he brought home a new propane grill
#52590
<mick> any idea of the performance difference between 10krpm and 15krpm?
<Plug> ~5krpm
#18660
<Callero> I managed to pour a glass of champagne and orange juice in my girlfriends alarm clock
<Raider> That's the most random thing I've heard all day
#50718
<Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
<Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked.
<Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine.
<Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn".
<Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever.
#37830
Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that I would never want her to have
Yesterday Dying : like a penis
Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would be at the top of the list