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#104003
<Aoi-chan> everyone's first vi session. ^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat
#17002
<ryano> i ain't drank dick for shit in months
<reston> try a lemondrop bodyshot
<reston> get some fly bitch and rub sugar on her tummy... lick it, take a shot of vodka
<reston> and then eat a lemon
<jonathans> is that some kind of homosexual alternative to tequila shots
<reston> yea jon
<reston> but its good
<jonathans> sugar instead of salt
<jonathans> lemon instead of lime
<jonathans> a chick instead of your hand
<jonathans> its beginning to make sense to me.
#15624
<rtwh0> why are you upset?
<sugadon> who the hell says i was god damn upset? huh?
<rtwh0> umm never mind
<sugadon> i hate people who spread god damn rumors, muther fucker , god damn
#25460
<cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!").
#14475
[Nothingface] fuck, I can't type
[@PMV] its easy
[@PMV] step 1: bang head on keyboard
[@PMV] step 2: repeat
#6649
(talking about a guy that worked at the world trade center)
<@PowrSlave> this poor fuck is getting divorced cuz of 9/11
<@PowrSlave> lol
<@PowrSlave> his wife filed
<@PowrSlave> he didnt go into work that morning and went to his mistresses' house instead
<@PowrSlave> had his phone off
<nonzeRo> haha
<nonzeRo> lucky guy
<@PowrSlave> he turned it on at around 11:00 and his wife was like "OMFG ARE YOU OKAY WHERE ARE YOUR?"
<@PowrSlave> hes like "im at the office honey. whats the matter?"
<@PowrSlave> lol
#19112
<websloth> i'm going to invent a "dewey decimal system" for organizing porn
<morganj> my uncle had one.
<morganj> you can't have 23 gigs of jpgs without one.
#4247
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
#116288
<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
#7083
<slog> Is Susan Sarandon too old to be considered "dooable"?
<Joe_> Yes.
<Kiler> I'd still do her
<Rain|Joker> She's borderline
<slog> that's 1 yes, 1 no, 1 maybe
<Pander> Desperation is the key factor.
<Kranrev> I'd say yes, but it would be creepy
<Lum_> Ben Franklin said of older women: "They know what they are doing, and they are eternally grateful".
<Lum_> in case you don't know your history Franklin was pretty much a slutpuppy
#3026
<kisama> you know what's hilarious
<kisama> leaving your fly unbuttoned
<kisama> then walking around all furtive
<DooD> ...
<kisama> hhahaha
<kisama> i did that today
<kisama> you'd think ppl would notice
<kisama> but i was in art all day
<kisama> with my zipper down
<kisama> and a long shirt
<DooD> they'd have to look at your wang area =P
<kisama> are they afraid of sensory overload or what?
#31893
<HiddenGenius> dude, my microwave just cooked a frozen hot pocket in like 40 seconds
<HiddenGenius> my mom is freaking out, she made us take the microwave outside and now she's making us get tested for cancer
<HiddenGenius> I can't stop laughing
#50435
Panther: Play Civ4 until my eyes bleed.
Panther: Then wash them out and play some more.
Xeno: ...
Xeno: =( damn all I'm gonna do is have tons of sex eat pizza and watch anime..
Panther: X.x
Panther: You win.
Xeno: ::bow::
#9555
<^Amber^> LEAVE MY ILLETERATE ASS ALONE!
<^Amber^> I didn't spell that right did I?
#9130
<FairLighT> you know something's wrong when you have dreams about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass
#38220
<MrDictionary> When I die, I want to be buried with my Wi-Fi BB Router so that people will gather around my grave and use me as a Wireless Access Point.
#59188
<phlip> I wear it from time to time... I don't usually think about what I'm wearing, just whichever shirt is on top of the pile ;)
<lisa> lol
<lisa> typical male i see
<phlip> well, it makes more sense than the alternative...
<phlip> I mean, who picks the shirt from the bottom of the pile every day? that's just stupid
#7986
<CrazySpence> e-mail is just really lagged irc
#25144
<Ebony> Did anyone else realize that the media-dubbed "The War Against Terrorism" comes out as "TWAT"?
#221161
<@mikesch> the woman sitting across from me has a weird tinyhand.
<@mikesch> with the same french manicure that her other, regular, hand has.
<@jop> are you picturing it around your cock
<@mikesch> I am now, you fucker.
#60730
08:22 <bjorn> ok, time for the daily commute! brb
08:23 <bjorn> back
Comment: he commutes from the bedroom to the living room to get to work
#115095
<Obby> I'm going under the knife tomorrow.
<Kabloxy> Ahh, Jesus.
<Kabloxy> Hope it all goes well, dude.
<Obby> You know what I should do?
<Obby> On my correct leg, I should write; "Wrong leg, man," and on the other write; "Or is it? HAHAHAH THE pressure's on you, DOC! JUST YOU AND THE KNIFE!"
Comment: irc.waypasteleven.com, #n
#7216
<eod> echo "\$cd pub" >t-shirt
<eod> echo "\$more beer" >>t-shirt
<eod> heh
<weis> cat t-shirt | sed s/beer/whiskey/ >better_t-shirt
#14190
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#310183
<zzo38> Is anyone in here who knows cricket rules and has experience?
<Slereah> What if I told you the baseball rules in a british accent?