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#56475
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled
#25223
<briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy. My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
<sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest
#56019
<@Stupid> Children need to feel secure, so strap them down whenever possible.
#40909
<Jeff> now... he probably woulda been grounded forever if it were gay porn...
<pilot1> no, they're catholic
#30112
<+Arilakon> mmm.. nothing more fun then downloading a german crack for an english game, and going into it and it's all like "ACHTUNG" and you're like "WTF"
#10774
<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
<guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass
#13077
corner (19:08:21): how tall is a standard guillotine?
Andrick (19:08:33): This still concerns you?
corner (19:08:39): yeah, I really want to build one
corner (19:08:47): I have short ceilings
corner (19:08:51): I wanna make sure I can keep it in my apt
Andrick (19:09:00): I have to admit that I never have committed that number to memory.
Andrick (19:09:06): But I can tell you they are *tall*.
corner (19:09:15): maybe I can make a kid's version?
Andrick (19:09:30): That is probably a wonderfully poor choice of words.
#42623
< rast> whats a good free perl program for windows?
< billnyeWRK> perl program?
< rast> you know, a program that can run perl scripts
< caphuso> rast: perl is a good program to run perl scripts with...
< rast> url?
< sawtooth> no, perl ;)
#4366
<Bobby> "YOU ARE ONLY CONSIDERED A LOYAL TALIBAN MEMBER IF YOUR BEARD IS AT LEAST ONE THIRD THE LENGTH OF AN X-BOX CONTROLLER."
#103237
<Rachel> Can't move to Texas, I'm not legally female there.
#35089
<Rykan> ah man, chocolate is evil...
<CrazyEruntje> 1 ounce of chocolate
<CrazyEruntje> equals one pound of body fat :P
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> so wait...
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> i can turn my body fat into chocolate?
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> omg!!!
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> I be rich yo!
Comment: #MxO on irc.stratics
#34052
<Lina-> i just applied for a job as a private investigator
<max> so you can investigate privates?
#3510
<Demamas> RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR! *explodes*
<Nyphur> BAD! NO BONE FOR Demamas! BACK IN YOUR CAGE !!
*** Signoff: Demamas (Ping timeout)
<Nyphur> oops
<Nyphur> I forgot I left his cage off the server
#306449
<sXe> so, I was on Omegle today and I met a guy from India
<crosseyes> You don't say.
<sXe> He didn't speak English (go figure) but I asked if he knew any words.
<sXe> He replied with "Autobots, roll out!". No lie.
#32461
<D-viant> my gf told me not ot get her a valentines present
<D-viant> that means I have to get her one
<D-viant> and shes not getting me one
<D-viant> :(
#120253
<sloth> i had to wear a USB cable for a belt today because my last pair of shorts broke
Comment: #down efnet
#4303
<D1> dude, I'm so puerto rican.
<Guilty> I dont get it
<BR4D> youre so elton john
<Guilty> That I get
#4715
<@Spidey> you can get stamps anywhere
<@Spidey> grocery store, convenient store
<@Spidey> ;[
<@Spidey> -t+ce?
<@josho> setting modes on your sentences again, addict?
#1328
<Brinstar> If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.
#3124
<JMPZ> Either you are too horny for you're own good, or I am...
<Joshua> i don't know what that means...
<Joshua> 'too horny'?
<Joshua> usually once you get too horny the problem solves itself
#34055
<J3anyus> just cause i watch anime and listen to britney spears doesn't mean i want a big wang in my ass
#31864
<Ketchup> lol
<Ketchup> i said to my dad on msn
<Ketchup> can you bid on something for me
<Ketchup> and he said yep, what is it
<Ketchup> and i gave him the link to the seven million dollar aircraft carrier
<Ketchup> he blocked me
<Ketchup> http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2454839870&indexURL=4&photoDisplayType=2#ebayphotohosting
#48902
<BlackDeth> "i wanted to install OS 9 to use classic mode on my laptop but since i already have tiger it said the file system wasnt compatible so i did a clean install and now it wont let me boot up into tiger"
<BlackDeth> "uh yeah... a clean install erases the hard drive." "you mean all my stuff is gone?" "yes." <shouting fuck many times>
#7215
<geekster> mossibly
<geekster> that's most poccibly, but it went thru a horible translation from brain to fingers
<geekster> ARSE!!
#55833
Vamp i s h ly: I just prefer dating men because girls are so complicated
Kick the Can 97: i concur
Kick the Can 97: except for the dating men part