Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#58023
<ahanix1989> I'm two people short of a threesome :(
#4099
(ALF) KMFDM: you havent blown your load in so long, the next bitch will prolly have to chew before she swallows
#29438
<TeddGCM> Speakinf of motorcycles, almost ran a guy over today
<TeddGCM> he was on a motorcycle and he pulled dead out in front of me
<TeddGCM> Almost wasn't able to stop in time
<TeddGCM> I think he crapped his pants
<+Admiral_Justin> well, if you were THAT close... :X
<TeddGCM> well at the next light he sort of sttod up and wiggled like there was something in his pants that shouldn't have been
#49419
VinnysMafia: i usually find i can get rid of annoying people by holding up a ball and yelling "go long"
VinnysMafia: I dont know why it works
VinnysMafia: it just does
#8085
<biatch> he tells me how he's cheated on two of his gfs
<biatch> then when i email him telling him i'm back with luke
<biatch> he's all disappointed
<biatch> and he's like
<biatch> "i told you about the girls i cheated on because i wanted you to TRUST me"
#22019
* Guest16686 (JAVGUEST@***.ipt.aol.com) has joined #tribesnz
* Guest16686 is now known as nima
<nima> hi
<nima> I'm thinking about moving to nz, is it a smart move?
<DJ> depends, do you like hobbits?
<nima> whats hobbits?
<duckstab> men who like stealing parts of your vagina in the night.
<duckstab> first night, bam - no cervix for you
* nima (JAVGUEST@***.ipt.aol.com) has left #tribesnz
#178767
<@michai> who is the samba guru here
<@LexMortis> not you.
<@michai> anyone with a constructive answer perhaps..? :)
<@LexMortis> not me.
#72
<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds
#67077
<+Clariax> M_Tabak fears paper cutters
<+M_Tabak> I don't like paper cutters. I think it's their attitude. They're all about destruction and tearing things apart. That's not what I'm all about. I'm about togetherness. You know who has it right? Staplers. Staplers, man.
#2404
<BlackDeth> did you know i'm sitting on my toilet right now
<BlackDeth> taking a crap
<myhero> :L
<BlackDeth> i have been this whole conversation
<BlackDeth> brb wiping
*** myhero changes topic to '<BlackDeth> brb wiping'
<SD-Washu> erm k thats just wrong
<SD-Washu> you're not supposed to irc or call ppl from teh fucking bathroom
<SD-Washu> i dont fucking care if you are joking
<ryo-ohki> I do it all the time. :/
<BlackDeth> i'm back on the couch
<BlackDeth> i dont talk to people on the phone when i'm on the toilet
<BlackDeth> because they can hear the gruesome details
#27597
<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.
#28305
<@Harpana_Rocks> I won, I won! I beat the toilet...I was finally able to wipe my ass without getting any on me!
#62745
(@_MB_) so
(@_MB_) how was thailand
(@Euan) pretty awesome actually
(@Euan) did loads and loads of cool stuff
(@Euan) how was internet
(@_MB_) pretty awesome actually
(@_MB_) did loads and loads of cool stuff
(@Euan) yeah?
(@_MB_) no :(
#306347
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#308292
<%K-man> Simmml: there's a saying... "It's pointless to alt-tab porn... if your other window is also porn..." :P
<Simmml> hehe That's the problem ;P
<Simmml> What works too is just switching the screen off.... or locking the door... or getting your own apartment...
<Simmml> although closing windows and tabs will not help much I think considering that you're still sitting infront of your pc without pants on? ;)
<%K-man> ahhh.. yes... the single hardest choice every young boy eventually has to make in his life.... hide the porn or hide the penis....
<Simmml> cruel world ;P
<%K-man> at that point, you learn the art of "fap shui".. the art of rearranging your room so that you don't have to hide anything if anyone bursts is.
<%K-man> it's a legit ancient art I swear...
<%K-man> perfected by horny ninjas...
#17280
<Tetrad> holy shit
<Tetrad> I found a sword worth 110000
<hoho> holy shit
<hoho> no ones cares
#9099
<UTF-Xanieth> damnit
<UTF-Xanieth> im gonna have to lube up this space bar
<UTF-Low_on_Life> :o
<UTF-Xanieth> EmptyStare, you got some of that astrolube your bro uses?
#102982
<Crab> is it 2007 or 2008?
<Joshwang> 07
<Crab> k
<Crab> I AM IN TOUCH WITH REALITY
#295537
+Cpt_Blinky: I'm so bleak
+Cpt_Blinky: cos I have all this shiny new anime
+Cpt_Blinky: but I have to wait three weeks to watch it!
+Cpt_Blinky: DOH!
@Crais: O.o
@Crais: why is that?
+Cpt_Blinky: My desktop is in the shop
+Cpt_Blinky: and my Laptop can't handle hi-def
+Cpt_Blinky: :(
@Crais: what happened to your desktop?
+Cpt_Blinky: I'm embarrassed to say...
+Cpt_Blinky: I will lose my street cred if the news gets around LOL
@Crais: Don't worry
@Crais: It won't
+Cpt_Blinky: ok you ready?
@Crais gives a sinister chuckle
+Cpt_Blinky: get this!
+Cpt_Blinky: I blew the motherboard...
@Crais: O.o
+Cpt_Blinky: putting laptop ram in it and switching it on!
+Cpt_Blinky hides in shame
@Crais: LMAO HAHAHAHAHA
+Cpt_Blinky: and I'm not even a hardware noob!
+Cpt_Blinky: LOL
@Crais: oh yes you are
@Crais: LOL
+Cpt_Blinky: you bastards I knew I shoulda kept mum
+Cpt_Blinky: ok I'm a hardware noob I admit it
@Crais will treasure this chatlog forevah.
+Cpt_Blinky: yes yes let's all have a good laugh at the muppet blinky
DeathRow: You should have made a video dude
+Cpt_Blinky: yeah of my face as I smelled that horrible smell of my melting preciousssssss
@Crais: ok one question
@Crais: how'd you manage to put laptop ram in your desktop MBO?
@Crais: it -doesn't even fit-
+Cpt_Blinky: omg now I'm really embarrassed
+Cpt_Blinky: ok check it out
+Cpt_Blinky: so it was called a RAM kit
+Cpt_Blinky: 2 sticks in one pack
+Cpt_Blinky: omg I can't believe I'm telling you this
+Cpt_Blinky: so I thought cool
+Cpt_Blinky: you put both sticks in one slot and the kit is 'assembled'!
@Crais: HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
+Cpt_Blinky is AFK killing himself
#243551
<Zabbage> I used to do drugs in the 70's.
<Zabbage> Now I don't care what the temperature is.
#7065
<skatoni> will some one please help
<shev> ya?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<shev> unplug your modem
<skatoni> how?
<shev> see those wires behind your computer?
<shev> rip'em all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer)
#34181
<Paradidle> I wonder what a dog thinks right before it humps someones leg... "I dont know what it is, but I'm gonna fuck it."
#56958
<Janette> I miss my chubby bubbies
<Chops> you've had a breast reduction?
<Janette> O.o
<Janette> no
<Janette> little cute fat babies
<Chops> not sure if that was the best emoticon to follow that question
#46041
<Lord_Iryn> I once drove a golf cart into a lake
<Aerdan> o.o
<Joan> LMAO
<Lord_Iryn> Honestly, How was I supposed to not drive into the lake while getting into a fist fight with my brother
<Lord_Iryn> I just realised something, there is something seriously wrong with my family
<Lord_Iryn> Seriously he was like punching me in the back of the head and I kept saying, "you mess with the driver, bad shit happens." then I was all like, thats it, and punched him in the gut a couple times
<Lord_Iryn> then like a few seconds later, SPLAHS!
<Lord_Iryn> SPLASH!*
<Aerdan> haha
<Lord_Iryn> I see now, my whole childhood was like one giant episode of Jackass
#7854
[Zaun] Zoid?
[Zoid] Yes?
[Zaun] Have you ever been to Vegas?
[Zoid] No
[Zaun] Let me rephrase that. Have you ever paid for sex?