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#8837
<Ez> School books are fun to sell.
<Ez> and will be forever
<Vazagi> Isn't sort of like selling crack? Rots the mind and so on...
#1156
<Viscant> hey, i learned a lot from loveline
<Viscant> if a chick has thin white worms coming out of the tang, don't go down there
<Viscant> thanks dr. drew!
<ceddar> thin white worms means everything is a-ok
<ise> ew thin white worms?
<ise> WTF are those
<ruin-> im wondering the sameeeeeee thing...
<ceddar> my policy is if the girl has anything coming out, thin white worms, little black worms, tigers, bears, anything coming out from there, im dropping her off back at her house
<Viscant> oh yeah. and the one about the guy who only wanted to go down on his girl during "that time of the month"
<Dasrik> the one that i wished i could just reach across the phone and bitchslap
<Dasrik> like
<Dasrik> "i just sucked a guy off, and i swallowed. can i get pregnant?"
#29337
<teekid> shooting air into my mouth with my gun gave me a headache x_x
<TiTaN> next time try a Bullet in there
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#11613
<\slick> 3d studio max install told me to close all program when installing, so i just opened more to be defiant
<\slick> take that
#55374
<Jess_school> I'm about to go watch a girl defend her thesis
<KainX> Of all the things I could watch a girl do, "defend her thesis" isn't at the top of the list.
#26306
<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves
#18574
<OlDirtyB> thats why i fuck sheep next to cliffs
<OlDirtyB> they push back
#30905
<snow_veil> my system tray icons are multiplying
<snow_veil> it's like some divine force
<YucA> snow_veil WTF
<snow_veil> soon they'll take over my taskbar
<snow_veil> and jump my quicklaunch icons
* snow_veil smells a battle brewing
#6126
* nailer/#lgl is a chocoholic. But for alchohol :)
#6217
<b[a]rt> hey guest1!
<Guest1> hi
<b[a]rt> what's up?
<Guest1> male
#57117
<@robert> if my grade suffers because of you, i swear to god, i will send you lots of hot porn and then toss something nasty in the middle
Comment: #wpi
#300635
<Sebas> So my parents have an account on my little brother's laptop so they can use it during the week, when he's not at home. Said account is severely restricted using Parental Control.
<Sebas> Giving an ironic new meaning to the term "Parental control."
#46041
<Lord_Iryn> I once drove a golf cart into a lake
<Aerdan> o.o
<Joan> LMAO
<Lord_Iryn> Honestly, How was I supposed to not drive into the lake while getting into a fist fight with my brother
<Lord_Iryn> I just realised something, there is something seriously wrong with my family
<Lord_Iryn> Seriously he was like punching me in the back of the head and I kept saying, "you mess with the driver, bad shit happens." then I was all like, thats it, and punched him in the gut a couple times
<Lord_Iryn> then like a few seconds later, SPLAHS!
<Lord_Iryn> SPLASH!*
<Aerdan> haha
<Lord_Iryn> I see now, my whole childhood was like one giant episode of Jackass
#7711
<sc1> the video was compressed at 5fps
<sc1> jesus this sucks
<asmodius> Jesus can't help with sucky frame rates. Trust me on that one.
<asmodius> He's pretty useless when it comes to video compression rates.
#16409
<Never> Okay, I'm not really going to be a novelist, it just sounds a lot better than "autistic retard constantly lost in own fantasy world"
#12291
<Hurricane> I wonder if the Banner people would be offended if I started a
little project that would require about 400 inserts per second
on the Oracle server.
<Krinberry> Easy way to find out, Bran :)
<Hurricane> Yes! Exploration through experimentation is what a University
is all about, after all. :)
<Gord> They mean pot and orgies, not database hosing! (:
#35679
<AmishOne> Okay, this is just funny.
<AmishOne> So at notacon, one of the guests was attemping to win the crowd over by saying he would buy us alcohol with his platnium card.
<AmishOne> He was waving it around to make the point.
<AmishOne> I got a picture of this.
<AmishOne> I just realized now that I can read the full card information off of it in my picture.
#9152
<Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
<Falcon24> ok
<ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc
#47543
<Syntacs> I just got a mail with the subject "Kiss those big legs goodbye". Either it's cellulite-burning spam, or Tonya Harding is threatening me again.
Comment: silicon3d
#5388
<infin-01> sorry, you don't qualify for 31337 status, only 31336 status.
#267642
<Rowan> [link to image of girl]
<Rowan> that be her
<art0rz> i would hit it
<Rowan> you'd hit anything that moves
<Rowan> or probably preferably, can't move
#2774
*** Amanda sets mode: -s
<DAL9000> i feel naked now.
#216997
<Shii> ethane, mcdonalds can be a fun and rewarding job
<Shii> to get fired from
<Cpl_Ethane> Shii: I worked there, over uhm
<Cpl_Ethane> 15 years ago
<Cpl_Ethane> and I got fired
<Shii> what for?
<Cpl_Ethane> shii: you know those paper burger king crowns that BK used to hand out? I showed up to work wearing one
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#301260
<Pryoidain> Speaking of Legend of Zelda, I have a good story from last semester.
<Gimpy> Oh?
<Pryoidain> So I bought one of those Ocarina's from thinkgeek this passing summer. It comes with playing instructions and a bunch of other stuff.
<Pryoidain> Including instructions on how to play songs from zelda.
<Pryoidain> well, I woke up one morning and realized I had a midterm exam in a class I hadn't been to in like three weeks. I figure "I'm gonna fail anyways, so I might as well get a good laugh out of it."
<Pryoidain> So I go in, and the prof picks up the exams and asks if there are any last minute questions before the midterm.
<Pryoidain> and I stand up in class and go "MIDTERM?! NO, THIS CANNOT BE!" and pulled out the ocarina and played the song of time on it.
<Pryoidain> The prof actually had to set the papers down he was laughing so hard. he then gave me a 72 hour extension before I had to take it again.
<Pryoidain> Someone else in class asked for an extension, and the prof proceded to chew them out for asking for more time.
<Gimpy> Oh god, the only thing that could make that any better is if someone yelled "DAWN OF DAY ONE. 72 HOURS REMAIN"
<Pryoidain> Well someone did ask if that was real time or game time. Luckily for me, he said real time...
#7639
<Deth> dont drink open soda cans that are a week old
<o|ooo|o|> not only was it flat, but it had a layer of dust