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#44622
<toadclipper> u on mac?
<Sliquid> it's next to the y
<Sliquid> same as windows keyboards.
Comment: aolspeak
#1836
<McMoo> some gorgeous ladies asked me if i knew where building PHR was today
<McMoo> i should have worked it all smooth style
<McMoo> and told them it was in my pants
#9645
<reflexive> WHAT'S COOL ABOUT THIS JOB
<reflexive> IS THAT I GET ALL THE COFFEE I WANT.
<reflexive> ehehehehhehehe.
<|reptile|> coffee blackens your teeth, taints your breath, and thrashes your nerves.
<reflexive> ...where's the downside?
#15897
Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread
#102125
<Ylle> I need a good Ps2 game
<Deathwind> ummmmmmmmm
<lifning> disgaea
<Ylle> that's been released recently
<Ylle> that's not a grindfest
<Ylle> and has good 2p fun
<Ylle> ooooh and no fighting games¨
<lifning> this is the part where you get a different console
#38363
<rhapsody> who's good with perl?
<omnivector> rhapsody: that's like saying who's good with sodomy
<rhapsody> oh
<rhapsody> hey will
<rhapsody> help me with a perl problem
<doompie> gah fuck you.
#29019
<@michael> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed creamy treat opportunity
#3828
<Sylffor> I prefer "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon" or "yogurt slinger"
<nitrifik_> ok. Sylffor knows too many colorful synonyms for 'dick'.
* Sylffor is a homosexual, remember?
<nitrifik_> you being gay is fine.
<nitrifik_> I draw the line at "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon".
#10135
<Starchild> !define PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> DEFINING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot> 2 entries found for PCMCIA.
<CCU-Bot> Entry 1/2:
<CCU-Bot> PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> <body, standard> Personal Computer Memory Card International
<CCU-Bot> Association. (Or People Can't Memorise Computer Industry
<CCU-Bot> Acronyms).
<CCU-Bot> DONE - PCMCIA (Entry 1/2)
<Starchild> hey, fuck you
#648
<snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email "im drunk" has been sent.
#18132
[08:40] <GreenNight> voodoo mmm
[08:41] * GreenNight is going to invent a marriage simulator. It's a blowup doll that sits on the couch, takes your money, and slowly inflates larger and larger
#50258
Clint: Did you hear that the police station got broken in to?
Clint: The thieves stole all the toilets!
Mikey_B: Yeah, I heard that at the moment the policemen have nothing to go on.
#286353
< Liem> check this out, I was driving down my street yesterday
< Liem> a guy walking his dog flags me down
< Liem> I'm all "wtf?"
< Liem> "Hey! So you're the guy with the "uid 0" license plate!"
< Liem> "yeah, that's me."
< Liem> "So, I was laid off 2 weeks ago, is your employer hiring software engineers?"
< Coraxyn> :)
< Liem> "welcome to the party pal, I am a 5-week laid off software engineer."
< Liem> FLAGGED DOWN for a job. can you believe that?
< Coraxyn> Yes
#40028
<Kurt> I need vagina.
<Rjx> type /quit
<Rjx> go outside
<Rjx> find a woman
<Rjx> it's that easy
* Yze has quit IRC
* wind- has quit IRC
#61958
< shad0w1e> hmm sleepydog, you said that reiserfs would only be faster in some "extreme" situations
< shad0w1e> would you consider KDE booting up to be an extreme situation?
#58516
<+dbx> I suspect I'm missing one of my mini-to-normal jack converters again.
<+dbx> I also suspect my dog got hungry again.
<+dbx> Goddamnit, fourth fucking time this month. x_x
#17874
insectouch: oh, i hought the whole cancer thing was just something you made up so you didnt have to go out with me tonight
#237754
<Technocactus> So me and Will are walking down the street
<Technocactus> And we see some German chicks chilling
<Technocactus> Will knows a bit of German, so he agrees to give me some lines to say
<Technocactus> Meant to be shit like "You're looking good"
<Technocactus> Fucker got me to say in German "I'd marry any of you except the fat one"
<Technocactus> So now I got this handprint on my face where the fat girl slapped me :\
#2613
<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.
#37927
quad341: Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day, give him a religion and he'll starve to death praying for a fish.
#19385
<Dragon_Goddess> i scanned a piece of toast
<Zack`> and you must be proud.
#31106
.oO( KoHa )Oo. :good. do you want me to bring you anything?
CRaNKyPlaNKToN: Hmmm
CRaNKyPlaNKToN: some kind of souviner
.oO( KoHa )Oo.: an alcoholic souvenier?
CRaNKyPlaNKToN : You know "I went to Ukraine and all I got was this T-Shirt" lol
CRaNKyPlaNKToN (12:21 PM) : heheh yah alcohol would be cool :))))
.oO( KoHa )Oo. (12:21 PM) : hehe. ok i'll look for something interesting. "my friend went to ukraine and he brought me a present that caused this puke stain"
CRaNKyPlaNKToN: LOOOOL
CRaNKyPlaNKToN: yah I'm sure there'll be fluids going both up and down my throat!
CRaNKyPlaNKToN:er
CRaNKyPlaNKToN: thats not meant in a sexual way
.oO( KoHa )Oo: too late. bash
CRaNKyPlaNKToN: HAhaha
#34532
<ron_frown> oh god... this guy comes in and talks to my boss about why his phone doesnt ring loud
<ron_frown> so my boss opens it up and ends up frying the mobo
<ron_frown> I throw a new mobo in there and it rings the same volume
<ron_frown> ends up the dipshit had a sticker over his ringer and it severly muted it
<ron_frown> something that could have been a 5second fix
<ron_frown> took a day, and cost him a mobo which was like 30
Comment: #php
#1133
<homerj> a robot on Futurama
<homerj> "You know why they are using WIndows 3000 as a prison guard?"
<homerj> because it always locks up
#15690
<@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
<@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in the form of a rap
<@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
<@arfbot> while you rapped
<@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo