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#296968
<rmrfResume> So let me get this straight.
<rmrfResume> You built a linux system from scratch using hardened GCC
<rmrfResume> secured the whole system with RSBAC
<rmrfResume> Developed private chroots for each and every service ran on it
<rmrfResume> which include an http, ftp, smtp, pop3, imap, irc, and dyndns server
<rmrfResume> WITH mail filtering and dynamic mysql databases for each service
<rmrfResume> with the mysql daemon in its own chroot
<rmrfResume> then did same system networking for the whole lot
<rmrfResume> and had everything running in a single night?
<Pryoidain> I do cocaine.
<cjk> oh
<asaph[Away]> WOW
<rmrfResume> suddenly it all makes sense.
#2870
* FiShYmAn kills Noddy
* FiShYmAn sells the film to ld saying its olsen twins for $50
[Noddy ] rfol
[Noddy ] he'd get off on it either way
#2680
~ frOsty- giggles.. in a manly, tesrosterone-filled sort of way.
#41098
<monertia> !list
<Maeg> Eggs
<Maeg> Milk
<Maeg> Toilet Paper
<Maeg> Soap
<Maeg> Beef
<Maeg> Toothpaste
Comment: #gigasquadteam on irc.quakenet.org
#9610
<MrFreeze> !google turkey+baster
<drug|THC> http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
<djcrom> see, my bot rocks
#9544
<Sco0ter> kelly osbourne is hot
<Eficent> i would hit it
<Carface> I would hit it
<Carface> In the face with a sledgehammer
#14382
<Kharn> D'ya think colouring my eye ball with a permanent marker will hurt?
#9220
<jre> A WHORE WAS HAVING A LIQUIDATION SALE
#39677
* Aero says your mom is like a shotgun Monte_Kano; one cock and she's ready to blow.
<Monte_Kano> i wish my mom was a shotgun
<ModdedCyborg> OH DEAR GOD
#300067
<Seyon> YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE GETTING DISCONNECTED, SO WE DISCONNECTED YOUR DISCONNECTION SO THAT YOU COULD GET DISCONNECTED WHILE YOU ARE RECONNECTING!
* Seyon (chatzilla@875D2DA9.5C5337C4.FAE7B20E.IP) Quit ([irc.BillyIRC] Local kill by Drazhar (Yo Seyon, I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but THIS IS THE BEST DISCONNECTION OF ALL TIME))
#53290
<Theropissed> wtf
<Theropissed> its like every nation that lost in world war 2 is fucked up
<Theropissed> Germany, Japan....italy even
<Theropissed> nasty italian porn where this dude stuffed his head into some girls vagina
<MavethTheAce> That was russian
<Theropissed> ....
<Theropissed> whats sad is
<Theropissed> you corrected me on that
#300820
Dave: what's the site
Dave: that if someone asks about something
Dave: it types in the subject into google for you
Dave: showing you how to do it
... Time passes ...
Dave: who would have ever thought that it's called
Dave: let me google that for you
#118709
<ChuckD> i see Tab in movies alot
<ChuckD> i demand an explination
<ChuckD> i dont see tab anywhere
<Towwb> Tab went to the same place as No Fear and sneakers with lights in them
<Towwb> MC Hammer's there too, not being touched
#306373
Judith: I sleep face down because my nose gets cold.
You: So you can't breathe, but at least your nose is warm.
Judtih: NO, it's like swimming. You tilt your head when you want to breathe.
#31756
* DigDug has joined #ramen
<Morris> You get the ankles, and I'll get the wrists...
<DigDug> ack!
#41086
<Ax1om> i used to get high on life
<Ax1om> then i built up a tolerance
<Ax1om> i had to start living a few days at a time before i got the same rush
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#8074
<Q-Ball> Average Ejaculatory Speed
<Q-Ball> 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr).
<Q-Ball> you could kill a small mammal with that
#64565
<@psych0sys> i told my old boss once i wanted to fuck a pregnant bitch so i could say i had a threesome
<@psych0sys> she freaked out
<@psych0sys> what a fucking bitch
#297646
[Leshok] "having sex is like making fractions, its improper when the larger ones on top"
[&quazy] but how else would they reach a whole
#295274
< Yorokobi> I saw a great license plate frame and license plate today. The frame: What would Jesus do? The plate: JWRTFM
Comment: #ubuntu-us-ut on freenode
#48107
<@dma> root@laureate:/etc/ssh# cowsay -f sodomized `fortune`
<@dma> _________________________________________
<@dma> / When confronted by a difficult problem, \
<@dma> | you can solve it more easily by |
<@dma> | reducing it to the question, "How would |
<@dma> \ the Lone Ranger handle this?" /
<@dma> -----------------------------------------
<@dma> \ _
<@dma> \ (_)
<@dma> \ ^__^ / \
<@dma> \ (oo)\_____/_\ \
<@dma> (__)\ ) /
<@dma> ||----w ((
<@dma> || ||>>
<@dma> well that didn't come out like i wanted
Comment: #d&d on ZiRC
#301562
bakayuki@live.com: i kinda want to explain to her about the positrons in bananas
bakayuki@live.com: and see if i can get her to think eating moar bananas will slow down time...
FRIN NY KAO: do it
baka.yuki@live.com: if she comes in tomorrow shoving bananas down her throat i win at life
FRIN NY KAO: /awesom
FRIN NY KAO: do it
baka.yuki@live.com: already talking to her
baka.yuki@live.com: i'm backing it up with fancy science problems
baka.yuki@live.com: which is actually just my chem homework
FRIN NY KAO: HAHAHAHA
baka.yuki@live.com: i just showed her an mole-balanced equation for how iron and water become rust
FRIN NY KAO: oh wow
baka.yuki@live.com: and explained that was the pime taradox equation
baka.yuki@live.com: if she runs in to another /b/ tard he's gonna have a field day
FRIN NY KAO: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
baka.yuki@live.com: she's an english major
baka.yuki@live.com: of course she is
FRIN NY KAO: you're bullshitting
FRIN NY KAO: she bought it?
baka.yuki@live.com: why didn't i think of that
baka.yuki@live.com: she took it hook line and sinker
baka.yuki@live.com: "oh so thats why i feel so slow and bloated when i eat to many bananas"
baka.yuki@live.com: i almost couldn't keep a straight face
FRIN NY KAO: aw dude
baka.yuki@live.com: "yes exactly, the sodium is slowing down your time sphere"
FRIN NY KAO: ever seen commercials for 'the invention of lying'?
baka.yuki@live.com: nope
FRIN NY KAO: oh
FRIN NY KAO: tl;dr
FRIN NY KAO: THE WORLD IS GOING TO END UNLESS WE HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW
FRIN NY KAO: response?
FRIN NY KAO: do we have time to get to a motel room?
FRIN NY KAO: that woman
FRIN NY KAO: is banana girl
baka.yuki@live.com: she's going on and on about odd experiences she's had with bananas
baka.yuki@live.com: i'm having
FRIN NY KAO: oh
baka.yuki@live.com: real issues
FRIN NY KAO: god
baka.yuki@live.com: not laughing
baka.yuki@live.com: like i can feel my face contorting
FRIN NY KAO: if she asks you whats wrong
FRIN NY KAO: you should just say
baka.yuki@live.com: i ate a banana
FRIN NY KAO: im sorry, you're just a total idiot
baka.yuki@live.com: no i told her i ate a banana and then an orange earlier
baka.yuki@live.com: and now they're duking it out
FRIN NY KAO: what
baka.yuki@live.com: she bought it
baka.yuki@live.com: and feels bad for the orange
FRIN NY KAO: i feel bad for her parents
baka.yuki@live.com: oh thank god
baka.yuki@live.com: she's leaving
baka.yuki@live.com: HAHAHAHAHAHA
baka.yuki@live.com: i WIN
baka.yuki@live.com: "Well I wanna go to the cafeteria to get some bananas, I have an exam this afternoon and a few more hours would be nice"
FRIN NY KAO: OH GOD
FRIN NY KAO: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
baka.yuki@live.com: I told her she wont physically notice the difference but to just keep eating them
baka.yuki@live.com: you can't make this shit up
FRIN NY KAO: oh god
baka.yuki@live.com: how do these people function
FRIN NY KAO: iunno
baka.yuki@live.com: the guy in the cube next to me heard the whole conversation
baka.yuki@live.com: he just asked to shake my hand
FRIN NY KAO: HAHAHAHAHA
baka.yuki@live.com: "I want to shake the hand of the man, who is the greatest troll I have ever met"
FRIN NY KAO: remember that comment about another /b/tard?
FRIN NY KAO: well, you met him rather than her
FRIN NY KAO: fuck
FRIN NY KAO: you won so hard
FRIN NY KAO: you found the motherfucking holy grail
baka.yuki@live.com: i want her number so I can like
baka.yuki@live.com: have something to do when bored
baka.yuki@live.com: just call her up and troll her
FRIN NY KAO: "hey, water causes you to develop tumors faster"
baka.yuki@live.com: the feeling bad for the orange
baka.yuki@live.com: that
baka.yuki@live.com: that about killed me
#6631
<Hawx> wtf is Scotty
<Shinji> Hawx - ScottyFox, he's in here occasionaly, I used to live with him in Canada.
<Hawx> scottyfox is one letter away from being scattyfox
<Shinji> Hawx - and you're four letters away from being 'fuck'.
<Hawx> :D
#50180
<DangerousCurves> man
<DangerousCurves> now i wanna go into a store
<DangerousCurves> and buy a pregnancy test
<DangerousCurves> then come back in 5 mins and buy some wire coathangers