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#10950
<Drezdar> I yelled at my mom the other day for opening my shades while I wasn't home. I told her "I don't allow sunlight to enter my room." She looked at me funny and then walked away.
#41219
[@jmelloy] my dad went to highschool with Janeway
[@selcouth] jmelloy: YOUR DAD IS IN STARFLEET?
#55058
<zb^3_> sektie
<zb^3_> i can't just stand here with my cock in my hand
<Workdug> start moving your hand up and down in a smooth, continuous motion
<Workdug> it feels really good after a while
<rpenguin> unless your hands are covered in habanero sauce :(
<goldfish> words of wisdom
Comment: efnet #okcupid
#88403
<[ka]killer> what if you just took all the servers on the internet and networked them all together....
<[ka]killer> wait...
<[ka]killer> never mind.
#1337
<Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google turns up my own page at the top of the list.
<Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go looking for stuff.
#438
<AlmtyBob> if you count her cunt as kissing then it's been about a year since I kissed a chick
#56166
<Darien> I love my job
<Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
<Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
<Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
<Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'
#20987
[21:13] (@KOLDSTARE): I was informed this is a rich part of town
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): wore my leather jacket to dinner and I got stared at
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): its not like I ripped it off a cow and stuck a zipper on it
#31
<EM[mMF]> man
<EM[mMF]> unix manuals would be so much cooler
<EM[mMF]> if they had porn in them
<EM[mMF]> like "Basics of the Bash Shell"
<EM[mMF]> <LESBIAN PORN>
<EM[mMF]> i'd read that shit
#295012
<hitmonchee> someone was talking about mice the other day and they mentioned that they hibernate
<hitmonchee> and I thought "how the fuck can an animal hibernate"
<hitmonchee> then I realised that they didn't mean saving the RAM to disk and shutting down
#557
[23:34] [+xvize] c++ is made in borland
#6892
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN
#4143
<uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
<Jan__> mmm braized testicle
<Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
<Jan__> fthfthfthfthfthfthfth!
* uneasier runs away
#34050
<gorF> heeh
<gorF> wtf, I spelled 'hehe' wrong
<gorF> AGAIN
Comment: freedom.dreamirc.com, #zebeth
#42306
<insert people trying to convince Kaelic to kick out his GF so he can play more DnD>
<Kaelic> haha to everyone who thinks Kaelic should kick me out! :p Sex is better than D&D!! :)
<lnp-work> hehe
* Leon (random@deg.demon.co.uk) has joined #adnd
* Silly sets mode: +o Leon
<Yeo> can't argue with that
<lnp-work> D&D tend to last longer though :P
* Leon plays guess the subject
* Leon has a wild stab at sex
<lnp-work> ding :P
#304174
<Spance> "Certainly Java got a lot right - its used by 10 million developers."
<Spance> THERE ARE 350-500 MILLION CASES OF MALARIA A YEAR
<\> are you arguing that malaria isn't successful?
#8187
<CrashCat> downloading lineage: 10 hours. patching lineage: 3 hours. uninstalling lineage: priceless.
#16595
Silent4042: What's another name for child molestation?
SocialistNinja: Divine intervention?
Silent4042: What?
SocialistNinja: That's what my priest tells me.
#309108
<~derpcat> iirc some reports from chernobyl said people tasted metal when there was radiation
<@Alias> Chernobyl was a graphite cooled reactor.
<@Alias> So that's easy to explain away
<~derpcat> well, it does go with the idea of communism
<~derpcat> this radiation belongs to all of us in equal measure
#310171
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#292278
<Royall> Being famous means your name isn't underlined in red when you type it in Microsoft Word
#9406
<vim> heh, no wonder i cant hear shit... trying to play this damn redhat cd.
#52608
arap816: hmm, so i just got back to my dorm after leaving in a hurry saturday morning
bob3: yes?
arap816: and i think i just summarized friday night with one question to my roommate
arap816: "why is there a doorknob on my desk?"
Comment: It was a serious question, and it's still a mystery.
#197234
<wito> I like my variables like I like my women
<Polytope> bound?
<thermoplyae> greek?
<Szego> hairy?
<Quadrescence> infinitely differentiable?
<acetoline> free?
<Aldaron> complex?
#307979
<Ymbirtt> !remind 10m pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 12m seriously pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 20m small black disk
<Ymbirtt> !remind 1h extinguish fire in kitchen