Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#30348
* Icy-mu cackles
<Icy-mu> i have discovered why we have halloween
<Icy-mu> its cause vampires like blood
<Icy-mu> and cant eat candy
<+Hamster_Of_Death> and candy companies like money
<Icy-mu> so they get all the childern to go get free candy
<Icy-mu> then the vampires suck the sugar blood outta the childern
<Icy-mu> those fiends
<+r3d3> you know at first that theory sounded like it was going to be stupid, but now it makes sense
#62028
<sonic> nah, for the enterprise and server systems I think, they want to compete with Linux' ZEN
<dtm> oh holy crap.. did i just see a person pretend that a word is a plural and make a plural possessive based on the idea that the end of the sound of the ending consonant SOUNDS like an "s"?
<dtm> this is some kind of recursively regressive anti-grammar
<dtm> what's next? "I'" instead of "my"?
Comment: #zsnes on freenode
#29246
<outlawpoet> building your own girlfriend is not masturbation unless you can accurately predict her actions
#303335
<noms> I WANT TACOS.
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#4730
(skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they dont have sex until they do it perfect.
(Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
(Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
(skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck.
#4623
<lunargirl> Without Uncle Freddy we have to rely on our dildo supply.
<lunargirl> Which dwindles everyday.
<lunargirl> But it's ok, we have a special robot made for us.
<lunargirl> Out of dildos.
<lunargirl> THE PERPETUAL DILDO MACHINE.
<lunargirl> Hello?
#33983
<kurai> You know .. sometimes I long for the days when spam was just for pr0n, rather than shitty meds
<kurai> At least they included pics to look at while you were deleting it
#56977
<evilAdmin> WTF!
<evilAdmin> Me and some co-workers saw V for Vendetta on Friday. One of my friends is completly obsessed with the movie.
<evilAdmin> So my buddy is missing today. He does the Unix and Linux shit in the office (I do hardware).
<evilAdmin> Then a white fuckin' van shows up mid 3PM that says "FOR YOUR PROTECTION" on the back. Some dude with a complete Guy Fawkes costume and mask hopes out, complete with boots, cape, tophat, (presumably) fake knifes, and a V Mask. Everyone is like "WTF!?1111!".
<evilAdmin> Dude comes upstairs and has "SYS V" printed on his back and "V SYS" on the front. He starts handing out floppies with AT&T System V (5) Unix on them. Doesn't say a fucking word. Everyone is clueless. The guy handed out like 300 floppies and nobody knows what to do with them.
<evilAdmin> Then he hops back into his white fan and drives away.
<evilAdmin> WTF???
#785
(|Chris) bang her and change your phone number
#2504
<iRalph> i'm not a cunt
<iRalph> although...
<iRalph> you are what you eat
#4797
<DrWoody> We're talking about C++ here right?
<detmod> no java, duh
<DrWoody> Oh, I though Univ. of IL was too l337 for java
<detmod> what the hell is l337?
<DrWoody> OMG YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A COMP SCI MAJOR! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT L337 IS!!! =O
#187
*** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA'
#37584
mrsaturn42: i need to talk to you. isnt it weird how if you just switch the n and the i nicest becomes incest....
JoJo GO Ska: only you'd think of that
#101437
<Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat, I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a horny female in my entire life...cool.'
<Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
<Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever said.
<Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.
#4410
<amoeba> it's like Beverly Hills 63.217.26.3
#294756
< n0p> hey i'm looking for a php web-based front end to control linux files and permissions. can anyone suggest any decent open source projects?
<+bradD> igotrooted-0.2
< n0p> link me
< n0p> pls?
#197703
<withnail> well, i suppose that whatever happened, at least i'll always have my memories
<withnail> and by memories i mean naked photos of her
#25655
<aphelion> dude this fuckin thing scared the shit out of me
<aphelion> flying around in my room
<aphelion> and then i was typing and i look down at the keyboard
<aphelion> and its crawling in front of me
<aphelion> fuckin had to lay the tai chi moves down on it
<aphelion> i hit it mid-air with a red herring magazine
<Flatline-> hahhhahah
<Flatline-> tai chi?
<Flatline-> you stretched at it?
<aphelion> ..
<Flatline-> my mom takes tai chi
<aphelion> im sure tai chi can be offensive too
<Flatline-> hahhahhahahha
<aphelion> :(
#43027
<Aimee[Dead]> I don't think it's a good thing that my shoulder hurts for no reason
<Mayseth> Right or left?
<Aimee[Dead]> ummm right i think
<Mayseth> You think?
<Aimee[Dead]> i don't know left and right :(
<Mayseth> The nicklist is on the right!
<Mayseth> Start button on the left
<Aimee[Dead]> ok it's my right one then
#28712
<_Zippo_> Oh what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. Now my mother is saying "Leet". I have had an adverse effect on her sanity.
#30887
* lsq didnt think you could marry a vibrator.
<mossop> you can't dear
<Ama_away> you probably can in sweden
#304897
<+Henry> i'm fine with girls
<+Henry> they just don't like me tbh
<%primality> that's normal, Henry
<%primality> girls generally dislike most people
<%primality> you have to get past their firewall of hormones and rage
<%primality> iptables -P GIRLS DENY
<%primality> that's their config
<sudokun> lol
<%primality> you have to invoke iptables -A GIRLS -p relationships --sgender male -j ACCEPT
<sudokun> primality, that'd make girls whores
<sudokun> since there's no source identifier, they'd accept all males
<%primality> bah
<%primality> iptables -A GIRLS -p relationships --sgender male --sname Henry -j ACCEPT
<%primality> ^ fixed
<+Henry> this is why I should never ask for relationship advice in #linux
<+Henry> but on the other hand, I feel like I understand girls a little better now O_o
#21554
Motorbreath151: I love
TheOffspring326: what?
Motorbreath151: oh sorry
Motorbreath151: forgot to finnish my sentence
Motorbreath151: I-KIRJAIN lempiä ilakoida televisio kisat
Motorbreath151: there we go
TheOffspring326: what the fuck
Motorbreath151: i finnished it
Motorbreath151: stupid
Motorbreath151: finnish is a language
#308772
<TheDancingLobster> yeah
<TheDancingLobster> i tend not to read code anyway
<TheDancingLobster> i just glare at it
#5320
<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders