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#34138
<youlepton> if they were asians, it would be r337

#9575
<Parc[Cleaning]> I'm starting to worry about my memory :-(
<Parc[Cleaning]> I was walking along, and it struck me that I had to go to the bathroom. So I went to the place, unzipped my pants, and then realized I was standing in front of the trashcan o_O

#1590
<Camo> wiz
<Camo> have you ever gotten something taken away from you by the principal in middle school?
<Wizkid`> yes, my virginity

#50433
< TMH-> DEAR MOTHERFUCKING KDE DEVELOPERS
< TMH-> HEY I'VE GOT A CRAZY IDEA FOR YOU
< TMH-> WHEN I SET A FILE ASSOCIATION LIKE MPLAYER OPENS AVI FILES
< TMH-> IT MIGHT MEAN THAT I WANT MPLAYER TO OPEN AVI FILES
< TMH-> LOVE,
< TMH-> TMH
<+swight1> what a concept
<ducklord> you're crazy

#439
<Lyre-work> <-- soon to be my perm nick =(

#35500
<SA-Magic> msg nickserv identify smallpenis

#9214
<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack

#304777
<coxy> Benoit B. Mandelbrot died
<coxy> what did the B. stand for?
<coxy> Benoit B. Mandelbrot
<spartan> thank god he wasn't murdered...
<spartan> would have taken forever to draw the chalk outline

#27286
(@Moondo) music question..was it simon or art garfunkle that released a son about their son in the last ear?
(@Spacebarbob) that's one sick combination of typos...

#51129
([LH]Neil|Work) the worst thing about audio programming: the possibility of deafening yourself
([LH]Neil|Work) just got a 440Hz tone at pretty much full volume from my headphones
([LH]Neil|Work) my ears are ringing now
(Silex) you got an A for that
(Silex) ;)

#3352
<dr\gonzo> i'd rather cut off my own penis than run linux
<dr\gonzo> running linux screams I fuck ugly chicks

#26310
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.

#284629
Alex: I've ALMOST got an IRC network working on my comptuer ^^
Alex: Computer*
Joe: almost?
Joe: ...
Joe: and i can almost fly.
Alex: Shut up. xD
Alex: I'm serious xD
Joe: me too
Joe: the only problem i have is falling
Alex: I can get it to the point, where if you can connect, it says there's a socket error xD
Joe: and i can get it to the point where, if you don't have ground close to you, you break your neck

#50646
Julius: dude so my sis knows a girl right
Julius: an this girl
Julius: used mayo as a sexual lube one night
Julius: so
Julius: next couple of days
Julius: she gets unexplained orgasms
Julius: so she goes to the doctor
Julius: and
Julius: boom
Julius: maggots
Julius: a la vagina
Comment: ... out of KY? Check the fridge...

#57854
<RuKK> now, as far as measuring the temp of them
<RuKK> your pain threshhold is around 65-75 celcius
<RuKK> thats too hot.
<RuKK> so - the rule of thumb for voltage regulators being - much like sex - if it hurts, it may be a problem.
Comment: #hardware on efnet

#6247
<chemical-burn> I just had a bowl of clam chowder explode all over my face and chest, now I know how a girl feels when she gives head.

#1577
<ccowboy> @chanserv took over my chat-room!

#49422
(Gingetsuryuu) Arakasi: I bet that aint yur name.
(Arakasi) it is!
(Arakasi) just written backwards
(Arakasi) and with different letters ^^;

#295891
<akari> it went kinda like this
<akari> "what, a game developer? you wanna learn to make pacman and tetris clones? yo i can teach you how"
<akari> i was like, yeah, sure, but i want to make better games in the future
<akari> "okay well... come over to my house, let me fuck you in the ass, and afterwards i'll teach you some c++"
<akari> "i mean thats what its going to be like for the rest of your life anyway. sure you get used to it after the first year or so but for a while you wake up each morning with a sore ass wondering where your life went wrong... and you remember its because you decided to let that hippie teach you about game development"
<akari> then he said something about it being one step above living as a starving, aids-ridden child in africa
<akari> so i guess im going to be a physics major instead
<HeroDrool> Heh, at least with Physics you'll be sucking tiny dicks instead of being reamed by big ones.
<akari> what do you mean?
<HeroDrool> That's probably what you'll be doing in exchange for having the Asians complete your homework.

#305935
< JustBurn> that was only fun if we were still in the DOS ear
< JustBurn> *era
< abadidea> DOS ear? is that what you get if you play games which only use the beeper for too long
< abadidea> sorry, i can't hear you over the ringing, i have a bad case of dos ear ;<
Comment: #nesdev

#40615
<dani> im cold! *goes to get blanket*
<caz> I'M A DONKEY! *goes to get psychiatric help*

#35801
<Tres|Status> eh, i can't find a job because i spend too much time reading bash.org

#55144
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!"

#33895
<Ristora> brant: you know gullibles not in the dictionary
<Ristora> it;s crazy :|
<Brant> Ristora: what the crap are you talking about?
<Brant> Ristora: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gullible
<Ristora> hhahhahh
<Brant> HAHAHAHHAHA
<Brant> OMG
<Brant> FUCK YOU
Comment: I got owned :(

#51320
<Thatch> If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

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