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#1988
<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph
#35633
<FreeRobo> guys my mom just told me the internet isnt working and to fix it and then she yelled at me for something unrelated she really doesnt know how to make people even bother 2 help!
<mef> and then you turned to irc for emotional support
<FreeRobo> yes
<mef> faggot
#49354
<BriBroder> Wang International Inc. Recalls Wooden Christmas Toys Due To Choking Hazard
#32495
<VariQuiz> fuckers
* VariQuiz is now known as Varitek
<somniloquy> arsemunch
<dionysian> dicklick
<Varitek> cuntbreaths
<dionysian> testicularwaste
<somniloquy> goatrimmer
<Varitek> fucknuggets
<dionysian> analclenches
<somniloquy> wankstaves
<arch-w0kr> kakwheels
<dionysian> pubiczirconia
<Varitek> chuffchuggers
<somniloquy> jizzguzzlingbitchwhores
<arch-w0kr> chodegobblers
<Varitek> jismlickers
<Varitek> I must admit, I like 'pubiczirconia'
<dionysian> Varitek, you would like pubiczirconia
#13463
( Webmaster ) I'm researching cheats for my webpage in counter strike anyone that knows how to use them, plz msg me.
( jeremy ) i know how to use the ejaculator3.45 cheat
( +Webmaster ) what does it do?
( +Webmaster ) and how do i use it
( +jeremy ) it turns everyone bright white
#162354
<skumby> i think only japanese chicks can get away with blue hair, a miniskirt, and a severed tentacle hanging from their twat
#44914
<SeaQaeS> hey!
<SeaQaeS> you guys wanne hear something cool?
<SeaQaeS> I've got a telepatic connection with my PC...
<SeaQaeS> My computer is in my room
<SeaQaeS> when I go downstairs to lay on the coutch and watch some tele.. I often
<SeaQaeS> get the feeling I have to go upstairs again (after 15 in or 2 hours or something)
<SeaQaeS> And when I go look at my screen, someone is talking to me on MSN
<SeaQaeS> so my computer is telling me telepaticly that someone is talking to me
<SeaQaeS> nice of him isnt?
<SeaQaeS> its true
<SeaQaeS> hmm.. now its telling me that noone gives a shit
#309107
<@Oliphaunt> I've been put off the Kindle by richard stallman and other horror stories about amazon fuckery
<@Lorkki> I like the expression "richard stallman and other horror stories"
#14704
<PTM> when i was ten...
<PTM> (interesting story, no?)
<PTM> i was messing around with a neighbor girl
<PTM> and like
<PTM> it was mostly naked wrestling
<PTM> with penetration
<PTM> but no orgasms.
<Damsel> you fucking fucked at 10?
<PTM> well if that's your definition of fuck, i suppose
#308806
<powersurge> god dammit
<powersurge> I go to dairy queen so often that google is asking me to set it as my work
<powersurge> stop judging me, google
#14746
<|dxb|-XeS`006-> i have a nuclear bomb
<Mercury}W{> I bet its in your pants too.
<ONP-Trugoy> great now this channel is being monitored by the gov't
#14093
<Shandz> i just got an electric shock off the phone
<Quicksilver> static or live?
<Shandz> I dunno, think live
<Shandz> cos when i stuck my hand in again it shocked me again
*** Shandz is now known as Shandz|phone
#11393
<Dark_Brood> Next thing Mac will do is introduce the 1 button keyboard, you type by morsing the ASCII codes of the letter you want to write
#37768
<@Ytrrium> So i was idly chatting with this girl last year.
<@Ytrrium> She's somewhat attractive, and actually asked if i'd like to fool around with her, with becoming fuckbuddies in the future a possibility.
<@Ytrrium> At the time I didn't want that, so i said no. But on that day, she mentioned something...
<@Ytrrium> She was at the beach for a week and had gotten bad sunburn on her back.
<@Ytrrium> I found a devious plan forming in my head.
<@Ytrrium> With some planning on my part, fooling around was scheduled to occur the next day.
<@Ytrrium> Stuff happened and i was doing her doggystyle on the floor of my apartment. I waited until i was about to finish, and pulled out my cock, rammed it in her ass, and slapped her sunburn as hard as i could.
<@Ytrrium> The two black eyes and intensely painful bruised testicles were, in my opinion, very much worth it.
#4881
<reuben> send me a picture of you.
<{Elmo}> no scanner
<reuben> get one.
<{Elmo}> no $$
<ryano> in other words reub, you probably dont want to see her
#29223
<zim> I can't look at the words "Windows XP" and not think that Microsoft are sticking their tongue out at us
#45434
(Ryan0rZ) double wammy, Knox
(Ryan0rZ) your grandma died and you lost your internet
(Ryan0rZ) I'd hate to have that happen to me
(Knox) lol :(
(Ryan0rZ) I can't go very long without the internet
(Ryan0rZ) :'(
Comment: #tag irc.zirc.org
#15897
Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread
#2478
<Mave> packetmonkey has a whole different meaning in jail :/
#7119
<Philly_B> <--------->
<Philly_B> hmm...
<Philly_B> the set of all real numbers
(*michael) The set of all real numbers, now only $99.99! Order now and get a complimentary imaginary number commemorative plate free with your order.
#16489
<zamros> WHEN I WAS LIKE SEVEN I SAW A CAR GET RUN OVER BY A CAR
<zamros> MY FIRST CAR ACCIDENT WITNESSING
<zamros> AND/OR MONSTER TRUCK RALLY
#932
<livewire> I would like to put those fuckers who are protesting bonsaikitten.com in glass bottles
#29572
<[SoC]_Runaway> ( " ) FUCK U TERRORIST
<PwOBeH> ROFL
<Terrorist> WHY?
<PwOBeH> Someone woke up the wrong side of the WTC today didn't they
#36288
<tammy> why do guys always try to act so macho all the time
<vercetti> because we're rugged!
<vercetti> now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sort my wash and wear from my delicates :D
#8755
<radead> (number of slashdot posts x ultima online character level)^(number of dime sized zits on face)/(girlfriends had before + 1) = sizeOf(nerd)
<radead> girlfriends had before + 1 so we don't get a divide by zero error