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#310171
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#16740
* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.
#8462
<Rafeil> wimberly!
<Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her name would be kimberly wimberly
#7814
<[atticus]> My parents think I'm nuts. I sit on my computer most evenings laughing at the monitor. :)
<[atticus]> Then I turn it on and come here. :)
#13735
<Adam> C'mon, make me one more!
<God> You're out of ribs
<Adam> Here, take my spleen then!
#12941
<@Twitch`> i almost got into a fight at futureshop last night
<@Twitch`> these two guys were talking about NWN, and i said before they played that they should go on 'thine quest to wash thy hair'
<@Twitch`> they had long stringy gross oily hair, it almost made me sick to my stomach
<@Twitch`> they said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then i said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then this store guy asked me to go look at stuff somewhere else
<@Path`> haha
#299533
<Dr_Pressure> in Old English, a period (.) was used to denote the end of a sentence.
<Dr_Pressure> in modern English, "lol" is used to end a sentence lol
#2916
<{SaTaN}> GOD DAMN IT SUN OF A BITCH STOP CALLING ME SANTA IT IS "SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!"
<DaRkShaMe> hi santa
#2836
<fuck> you
#29937
<ckx> credit cards are great if they're somebody else's
#300818
<Crispy`> my friend is making my other friend's girlfriend rage on facebook by arguing with her about how Twilight is the dumbest shit ever
<Crispy`> so I created Twilight for Men.
<Crispy`> government scientist fused DNA with Hayden P. and Mila Kunis to create the hottest woman ever with big titties and a nice ass, and she's all over my dick but it turns out she's a pirate and I'm like "omg but I want to be a pirate" and she's all naked near me and shit and I'm like "you're the most perfect thing ever" ... See Moreand she's like "I know, now fuck me"
<Crispy`> and then all the sudden it turns out the government actually made someone else who was fused from the DNA of Kristen Bell and Elisha Cuthbert and she shows up and is like "what the fuck but I want your dick more." and I'm like "D:"
<Crispy`> and then the Kristen and Elisha fusion is like "OH AND IM A NINJA SHITYEAH" and I'm like "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NINJAS VS PIRATE" and then this was my face when they were fighting a war near me " :O "
<Crispy`> with none of them wearing shirts oh and they all have super nice tits and are not fat at all and are the most perfect looking women ever and then they all want my dick so bad it's hard for me to choose and also whether I want to be a Ninja or Pirate it's a very tough decision.
#1835
[09:56] <Thom> I wonder how many words they have for 'pervert'.
[09:56] <Squizzle> None.
[09:56] <Squizzle> The closest is their word for "native", I bet.
[09:57] <Thom> 'hentai'. 'ecchi'.
[09:57] <Squizzle> Those both mean "Japanese man".
#216681
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it.
#7294
<parox> man near killed myself carrying a 60kg UPS today!!!
<parox> had to carry it up some steps, put the back out I think
<bytraper> 60kg's?? I know how you feel dude... I once carried that weight in each arm once while I was running
<parox> what the hell were you doing carring that sort of weight while you were running??? you in training or something?
<bytraper> no I was stealing the stuff and somebody saw me...
#67456
<Shaezerus> Sep 21, 2006 Play-Asia.com Order #------- received.
<Shaezerus> Jan 01, 1970 Play-Asia.com Order #------- shipped!
<Shaezerus> Fucking timetraveling import stores.
<Koushiro> And it *still* hasn't arrived!
#8250
<Amenace> so your a fifteen year old girl that thinks my wife is hot, hang on while i have a wank
#306898
<KP9000> wheelchairs are awesome when you're not crippled
#32804
<HelloKit> can anybody tell me why men find it necessary to do things like deliberately farting on the dog?!
<Steven> because they'd be killed if they did on their wife ??
#2415
<Dude> did ya hear poland bought 5000 septic tanks?
<DatDawg> why?
<Dude> as soon as the figure out how to drive them there invading russia
#34012
Serrated Sp00n: Holy crap. My dad just told me has a server he's gonna give me.
Serrated Sp00n: And I just saw it.
a restless child: Did you shiver with unadulterated lustful anticipatory glory?
Serrated Sp00n: Yes.
#14946
<Dane-lo_brown[DJedi]> I got in trouble in school cause my Espanol teacher asked what architecture we learned from the latinos and i said cardboard boxes
#2366
<asmcoded> anal sex is like hacking
<asmcoded> you go in through the backdoor and hope you dont meet a log
#78101
<spacecat> i dont rly like virgin airlines
<spacecat> i mean whats the point in going on a plane that doesnt go all the fucking way
#16088
<rsb> i saw a very disturbing thing this morning
<wjr> oh?
<rsb> a dirty bum
<rsb> he smelled bad even, on the street for awhile
<wjr> ah yes
<rsb> he asked me for money
<rsb> and
<rsb> he had a solaris 8 shirt on
#1289
<Wazm> I spent the entire day being normal, now that I'm home, I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners to my head, turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.