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#1905
<Fustard> oh good god
<Fustard> i was just thinking of something to myself
<Fustard> and out loud i said
<Fustard> 'laugh out loud'
<Fustard> instead of actually laughing.
#40138
<Coyote> "The U.S. motto, E pluribus unum, means "out of many, one." It first appeared in a Roman poem as part of a recipe for making a salad.
#11588
<pfk> oh its may 21st..almost time for my bath
#840
<SWM> catholics are stupid
<SWM> "masturbation is a sin"
<SWM> I sure showed them
#303386
<jer> on a side note, love the new iphone headset -- they don't tangle as easily
<jer> s/headset/earbuds\/whatever/
<erica> earbuds == evil evil evil
<jer> erica, three evils? thought just two?
<erica> Left ear, right, sinuses
<atomicbird> if the earbuds hurt your sinuses, you're probably using them wrong
#302835
<Somebody> Who knows, maybe you created AI, and have a bot speaking instead of you.
<fahadsadah> So what if I have?
<fahadsadah> Is that a crime?
<fahadsadah> Are you prejudiced against bots?
<fahadsadah> Brb, oil chang^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hperforming typical human activities
#305429
<@AnnonSSI> ... /google-starts-censoring-bittorrent-rapidshare-and-more-110126/
<@Skitzo> noooooooooo
<@Skitzo> fuck google
<@Skitzo> i'm never going to use another google product again
<@Skitzo> except for my phone
<@Skitzo> and google chrome because it's a rad browser
<@Skitzo> and gmail
<@Skitzo> and gtalk
<@Skitzo> and google search
<@Skitzo> shit
#318
<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.
#33004
<smilodon> once upon a time
<smilodon> there was
<Mithandir> yes
<Mithandir> but then
<Mithandir> there wasn't
<Mithandir> "A summary of life, the universe and everything" by S. Milodon and M. Ithandir
#11960
<Gabooz> I wouldn't say I'm a geek
<Steve> You live at a computer, and claim you know your IP, but not your home phone #
<Steve> You're a geek
#48739
<VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
<VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
<VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
<VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
<MaXilla> hahaha
<MaXilla> NICE
<VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
#1343
(nexxai) Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv across the nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to party).
#29125
<auntbunny> meandthespacebarhadanargumentandnowwearenttalking
#3858
<TURBOMEAT> my car caught fire.
<TURBOMEAT> I tried to flick a cigarette out the window
<TURBOMEAT> and it was only like 1/4 down
<TURBOMEAT> so it bounced off the window and went under the seat
<TURBOMEAT> 2 streets later there was smoke billowing out from under me
<TURBOMEAT> it landed on some paper
<TURBOMEAT> then started to burn the material under the seat
<TURBOMEAT> I wish someone had TOLD me smoking could be hazardous
#53737
leet42: someone at the fortune cookie company has a sense of humor
leet42: "the fortune you seek is in another cookie"
#298583
<echoplex> do you type by throwing chopsticks at a keyboard that is spinning or something?
#122388
<X-Istence> Oh that was just epic. I two girls one cupped my entire family
<lordoden> lmfao
<lordoden> oh god
<lordoden> thats horrible
<X-Istence> The TV is run over DSL right
<ALT_HACK> wow
<X-Istence> so whenever the TV is on (DVR type system, TVoIP)
<X-Istence> the download speeds drop to practically 0
<X-Istence> So I intercepted teh packets, and ran an MPEG 4 stream of 2 girls 1 cup to the DVR
Comment: #nerdgy irc.freenode.net
#25111
<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..
#51058
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk
#4102
<FlipTopBox> Concatenate?
<mightyflo> its something sexual
<FlipTopBox> Concatenate can be sexual, baby.
<mightyflo> its something sexual to someone who hasn't taken a programming class
#115962
<%Raven> and then the next was "write a reply coming from a WASP"
<%Raven> I had no idea what a WASP was so I basically had to gamble whether they were for or against indian mistreatment
<%Raven> I went against, which was wrong
<%Raven> but I covered myself by saying "in case above answer doesn't suffice, here's a reply from a different WASP"
<%Raven> I just drew a giant wasp (the bug) and added a textballoon with BZZZZZZZT
<%Raven> he might just give points for originality
Comment: #dyo on irc.dyo-ecksdee.com
#5275
<zymurgy> #define NULL NULL /* because I can dammit! */
#2940
<T_hibiki_> you catch your lady in bed with another man what do you do ?
<sparatik> tell him she has an STD
#7219
<Sundancer> DE: "The truth is out there" :)
<DarkElf> sunny: yeah, thank god it's out there and not in here with us
#8266
* Kimbot tries to think like a hentai anime girl...
<Slant> Kimbot: Come up with anything?
<Kimbot> Damn. I just realized that I'm going to get sexafied by the next person that sees me. Again. And I hate my life. Why couldn't I be in some magical girl cartoon, where they stick to panty shots!