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#17983
<indecisive> I WISH I WAS LIKE 5
<indecisive> I COULD START ALL OVER
<indecisive> LIKE HEY, I COULD PRETEND TO NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE MY LEGS
<indecisive> AND WENT AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR LIKE ALL MY LIFE BUT EXERCISED MY LEGS SECRETLY AND THEN JUMPED OUT AND STARTED BREAK-DANCING
<Fishfood> YOU COULD GO TO A CRIPPLE CONVENTION AND GET UP IN THE MIDDLE AND SHOUT 'GET WITH THE FUNK' AND JUMP ON THE TABLE
<indecisive> WHILE I'M WISHING, I WISH I HAD FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS
#20476
<FucKFace> well, im off to go meet my girlfriends husband
#304619
<pharazon> being a conductor is like the closest thing there is to being a wizard
<pharazon> you just wave your arms and stuff happens
#102712
[linux] hey i have a question
[helf] ok
[linux] i recently installed ubuntu on my laptop
[linux] and it works very good
[linux] the only problem is that i can not boot into windows anymore
[helf] uhoh
#299563
Alyssa: soo, how are we going to be awesome? i leave what we're doing up to you, cause i just sit around
Marc Truant: pshhh, anything
Marc Truant: we could watch a movie or hang at the mall. maybe chill at a house. fuck. anything!
Alyssa: okayy :D it's up to you
Marc Truant: you didnt catch that, did you?
Alyssa: ...oh
#18986
<Yukanojo> <kjustice> if everyone was constipated all the time, life would be like DBZ! Raaaagh! Urrrrrgh!
#311199
<the_map> I'm a bit upset that bash.org doesn't have anything like, "Ursula sets mode -v Ariel"
#294998
<Ebola> There's nothing wrong with ReiserFS and lots of other people worked on it too.
<sysrq> except that every time I've used reiser I've had irrecoverable data loss
<WolfLord> it didn't get lost, it went back to Russia
#17405
<Blade> what's for supper my beautiful wife?
<Blade> you on a silver platter?
<Blade> CPU: AMD Athlon Thunderbird clocked at 1453.26 MHz
<Blade> OS: Microsoft Windows 98 Second Edition [4.10.2222]
<Blade> RAM: 257MB / 512MB <29% load>
<Blade> Video: NVIDIA GeForce2 MX/MX 400 (1024x768x16 bits) <63MB/64MB video RAM>
<Blade> Sound: SB Live! Wave Device (Driver Version: 5.0) [Stereo]
<Blade> Network Interfaces: NDIS 5.0 driver (Ethernet) <10000000 bps> [5.4 MB received / 0.3 MB sent]
<Blade> Disk: a:\ ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB....c:\ (WINDOZE)[FAT32]: 4.4GB/4.9GB....d:\ (BUZINESS)[FAT32]: 12.4GB/12.6GB....e:\ (PLEAZURE)[FAT32]: 22.0GB/23.7GB....f:\ ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB
<Blade> Uptime: 0 days, 1 hrs, 2 mins, 3 secs
<SK> what a great prelude to sex.
<SK> system information.
#308597
BossMan: That is intellisense
BossMan: It's an extra feature
BossMan: They give it to you for free then it goes away after 15 days or something like that
BossMan: You will get used to it, love it, have it taken away, be unable to understand how you ever wrote SQL without it, then slowly forget it existed.
#276906
xxx: told my boyfriend I wanna wake up to oral pleasure
xxx: and I woke up in the morning, cuz he was trying to stick his dick into my mouth
xxx: fuck
#300286
<+finn> is there something in between "I like you" and "I love you"?
<@Rjx> sex
#96138
<Yuri> parents were fighting, went into the bedroom
<Tw1lk1tr1> make up sex
<Yuri> and i'm assuming they fell asleep since this was 40 minutes ago
<Yuri> no
<Yuri> NO
#28469
<jerico> Startship troopers is my favorite movie. I think I know every line. It would be sick if they made a game for it.
<darksage> You must be the anti-christ, we've been waiting for you.
#4276
<R0SC0E> i think [shaolin soccer] was about to be released same weekend as Resident Evil
<R0SC0E> but they pushed it back to not be in competition
<mightyflo> zombie soccer!
<mightyflo> you could put the shaolin soccer guys up against a bunch of zombies
<mightyflo> they could do like bullet kicks and blow their heads off and stuff
<nitrifik_> no, zombies against zombies
<nitrifik_> slowest soccer game ever
#28296
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall over from mine
#8165
<Kash> I have a large bulge in my pants.
*** Kash was kicked by Kiler (let the gerbil out)
#12433
<DarkPhan> humm... i want to find some software that will track eye movements on a webcam
<Spooky42> www.fbi.com/shareware
#31335
<adem> on further contemplation, halle berry really isn't all that hot, is she?
*** You were kicked by d4n (who stole your hetrosexuality?)
#8458
<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey, Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO'
<Mousey> why am i first
<Mousey> thats really insulting
<vas-deferens> because your the best at iut
<mk4> why am i second ?
<vas-deferens> shit im third
<vas-deferens> i better work on my technique
<vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick
<Mousey> hahahah
#35940
<atoi> ouch...when zippers attack...
<atoi> zippers and balls have been natural enemies since the inception of storing the latter behind the former.
#15704
<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you at Verio!
#288
<enex> MadHatter: eat shit!
<MadHatter> what
<MadHatter> fuck you
<enex> oh
<enex> hi
<MadHatter> yeah hey
<enex> what's up
<MadHatter> nothing man
#17828
<standby> i'm moving to my own office tomorrow
<standby> i feel so cool
<standby> i'll be able to mastrubate while i work
<standby> well i allready do but it will be easier
#4314
<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks
<madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant even get my panties off in here'