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#28525
<`DE-Throwdown-e-> if anyone knows how to unclog a toilet when there is no plunger available pm me please...hurry their is sh*t on the floor already
* `DE-Throwdown-e- has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
#2539
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#1201
<RevSlidey> a baby seal walks into a club
#30469
<Theogony> odd
<Theogony> one of the playboy playmates kinda looks like my mom
<Theogony> hmm
<Theogony> quite strange
#6777
<FindUrFire> how old are you rad,alone?
<SUPER--RAD> i'm 22 years old alone & with others i'm still 22
#301134
<@Gargamale> word
<mademoiselle> excel
<+fiveiron> powerpoint
<+fiveiron> By your powers combined, I'm an overpriced office suite!
#21800
»»»» Now talking in #Counter-Strike.net.
<FirebirdX> Counterstrike is for newbs
« iNothing » yep
<FirebirdX> Only people with small weiners play it
« iNothing » yep
<FirebirdX> Only people who enjoy having gay sex while in fox suits play it
« iNothing » yep
<FirebirdX> Only people who say 'yep' play it
« iNothing » maybe
<FirebirdX> blast! foiled again!
#49809
LittleBunny32: the girl you showed me on okcupid.com has the six things she could never do without as: Sex, love, music, movies, dildo, water and air
RenaissanceGamer: i never did like people on this that took it THAT literatly
RenaissanceGamer: because food would have to be up there too
LittleBunny32: haha I'd put like oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, phosphorus, sodium, potassium
RenaissanceGamer: i have always been partial to those six myself
Comment: My friend says, "You forgot nitrogen! You'd be totally FUCKED!"
#306044
<@CiTay> haha... watching Science.Ch.Moon.Machines.5of6.Space.Suit... in the space suit, they had this "pee bag" with a condom-like hose leading to it. initially they had three sizes for the condom-like part, small, medium and large. but all astronauts ordered the large part, no matter the real need. so they renamed it to large, gigantic and humongous.
#307252
HelgeSverre: ....
Lemmiwinks: You make some very good points
Lemmiwinks: .,.,, mine are all wonky
#11203
<GenOberst> I had to mule kick out, and grab his foot to reverse it
<GenOberst> bent his big toe outwards away from the foot...
<Tac0> oh nothing compared to my day, I flew an F-16 across the DMZ for kicks, resuerected Bruce Lee then killed him again with my bare hand (one tied behind my back), then after that i proceeded to sleep with 20 supermodels at the same time, and to top it off i bitch-slapped the pope
#182652
<Tinted_Green> ok Grugg
<Tinted_Green> you and me
<Tinted_Green> we have to do that one day
<Tinted_Green> go to a pub
<Tinted_Green> and get a pint in a teapot
<Tinted_Green> and we have to wear top hats
<Tinted_Green> and monocles
<Tinted_Green> and speak in a highly refined english accent
<Tinted_Green> and see how long it takes them to throw us out
<Grugg> As soon as I can afford a ticket to australia
<Grugg> We will do this
<Turks> not without me you're fucking not
<Grugg> Didnt you threaten to murder me with an umbrella if you ever met me?
<Turks> i say alot of things
#28734
<@jilt> my dad had to put that shit on my nut sack
<@jilt> and it burned
<@jilt> and i was going
<@jilt> BLOW ON IT!
<@jilt> and he was laughing going "hell no!"
#7840
ð Zibblsnrt simply wants food (there's /none/ in the house ATM) .. ponders
making a pizza run or something
<rob`> zib; isn't halifax still under a few meters ice?
<Zibblsnrt> rob: And?
<Zibblsnrt> :)
<rob`> is there a tunnel network or something?
<Zibblsnrt> rob: No, we simply float atop it because we're just that suave
#311004
<contra> i love the dentist
<contra> they rip out your teeth and give you pills
<contra> its like dating an abusive drug dealer
#37983
[steven] where were you
[Mediator] first time I played doom it gave me a 3 hour seazure
[Mediator] I've been in the hospitle
#152895
<hekman> i took my son to the zoo on saturday and i had the worst gas...we were looking at the rhinos and he says, "dad, the rhinos are stinky, let's go"
<hekman> and then later he was like, "dad, the zoo is very stinky"
#17291
<Isajeep> in fotr when gandalf first goes to see that other gay wizard what does he first say to him?
<NickBlasta> stfu noob
<Setzer> stfu noob
<CRC> he says: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
<CRC> we should get the script to LOTR and make it l33t
<DC4ever> CRC - and then add subtitles to the avi of it, and rename it "L0rd of teh r1ngz0rs!"
<CRC> legolas: chex0r this out! *stabs orc in eye with arrow* LOL! di3 f00l! *shoots another orc with arrow* pwned!
<[H]Slacker> divx?
<NickBlasta> orc: CHEATER CHEATER WALLHACK!!1
<CRC> (when pippin/merry/whichever the fuck knocks the armor down the well) Gandalf: omg, noob!
#8057
<Esk> Quit XP bashing! It's a better OS than you'll ever make! :D
<evilbob> I doubt I could construct a gremlin, but I'm not about to start driving one.
#11956
<susan> haloooooo
<Phuser> susan
<Phuser> now theres a soon to be guest nick if i ever saw one
*** susan is now known as Guest70397
#302835
<Somebody> Who knows, maybe you created AI, and have a bot speaking instead of you.
<fahadsadah> So what if I have?
<fahadsadah> Is that a crime?
<fahadsadah> Are you prejudiced against bots?
<fahadsadah> Brb, oil chang^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hperforming typical human activities
#5421
* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar
#301909
<Sebas> Heh, so I have this "Insult Dictionary" which has witty insults for every occasion, as well as a translation into 4 different languages
<Sebas> But it seems that, although the translation is generally correct, every now and then they went for an interpretation instead
<Sebas> So "Moron" comes out as "Naked savage" in the German translation, and "Greasy bastard" becomes "Filthy Italian"
#398
<PERvERT> i have a 9 inch penis
<Duce> is that in dog inches?
#309850
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat