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#301594
<SEAL> You know how Toyota is having a ton of problems
<SEAL> With the accelerator pedals getting stuck at full throttle
<SEAL> Well, they really need to change their slogan
<SEAL> To something besides "Moving Forward"
<SEAL> The irony is astonishing
#30167
* OverlordQ changes topic to 'Forget Bayes, We need the Stalin Mail Filter (TM) -- it detects spam, hunts down the spammer, and exiles them to Siberia.'
#304568
Kasm279: what does flash use?
fleebailey33: cpu
#238597
syberghos : Wives are like video games; they're lots of fun to play with, but it's all over once you beat them.
#6994
<mgod> weights 300 or something
<mgod> she sez she has a thyroid problem
<bats> um i didn't know nabisco made thyroids
#7229
asjk] !list
[asjk] anyone know a good open ftp?
[ck1] 127.0.0.1
[asjk] need a userid/pw
[ck1]anonymous
[bluerose] oh come on give him the good account
[ck1] :)
[bluerose] l: hax0r
[bluerose] p: 31337
[asjk] thx
#11094
<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey
<herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards
#56434
<Dr_Pressure> George Bush wants to eat at that "New Delhi" that he's heard so much about
#50582
<zuri> They sell older versions of their antivirus in Spanish, that's why I use the one in English (well, it's not even for me, it's for my mom, I use Linux)
<stilist> sure you use linux... that's like saying you're buying a dildo `for a friend' ;)
#265238
<celeste> i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
<celeste> but i mean....
<celeste> why wouldn't it be?
<ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
<ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
<ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
<ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of
#102826
<Nuuka> Im going to be pissed off if I cant use the internet during the hurricane
<Benny2k> Why? want to be able to write brb hurricane? :P
#2893
<Berzerker> i shit too big
<Berzerker> i clog up the toilet without using toilet paper
<Berzerker> my parents think i use too much
<Berzerker> and im starting to get in trouble for doing it
<Berzerker> i dont wanna tell them "i shit big, sorry"
#305734
<Sylnai> I once wrote a game for DOS which provided tactile feedback if you had your hand inside the printer
#3039
<MXV> can't really tell when wife is PMSing and when she is just naturally psycho
#87102
<pallet> oh my god
<pallet> my daughter has been missing for a whole week now
<pallet> i'm so scared, i don't know what to do
<zene> my daughter isn't missing
<zene> that makes me a better parent right?
<zealo> i'm pretty sure it does
#10910
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.
#132907
[marquis] Vista on my wife's laptop takes up ~800MB of RAM X_X
[carbine] Get a new wife.. One that doesn't use Vista
#805
<DUJSHEBAE> HI, ANYONE knows which is the best programm for emulate PSX in a pentium 133?
#301115
<Indogutsu> Oh, funny thing I saw at Publix a week or two ago. You know those magazines in the checkout line?
<Indogutsu> One of them was a women's magazine with two rather contradictory headlines on the cover: "Party like Paula Deen this Christmas!" and "Lose 20 pounds by the New Year!"
#61121
<Ked|work> You know you've used linux more than google when typing 'man pipe' into the search bar doesn't instantly seem like a bad idea.
#22147
<GWS-108> #14 90x [ 35K] How to get stuff from xdcc bots (.doc)
#152650
<hixx> submitting to bash.org is like applying to an ivy league school
<hixx> you either have to be very good, make a donation, or know the right people
<mcdougall> and if you fail there's always the qdb.us community college
Comment: rejected on bash.org :P
#7463
<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil overexcited
#31961
<terminal_> fuck i hate answering the phone here
<terminal_> "hello, planet earth"
#14668
toAzron1:Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"