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#61941
<cmdr_sm> should i add 10 years of missionairy work in africa to my cv? :)
<Nibbles> do it.
<Nibbles> I will add my idle rpg level to mine.
#29922
<Delusion> I JUST ASKED OUT A STRANGER.
<Delusion> SHE HAS UNTIL FRIDAY TO ACCEPT.
<Delusion> OR UNTIL SATURDAY TO LIVE.
<Delusion> DEPENDING ON THE DECISION.
#10809
<Leb> I'VE BLOODY WELL FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAD INTENDED TO DO
<Leb> though i have a sneaking suspicion that it involves an immense iron penis
#32457
< sahaL > my teacher was like 603.12.3.4312 is an IP
< sahaL > i was laughing at her face
< sahaL > fucking newbies
< sahaL > "OH CHECK ME OUT I CAN FUCKING USE FRONTPAGE, I AM COOL NOW"
#74646
<@zeleftikam> man, i am so dumb. you know how sometimes food makes a popping sound in the microwave?
<@zeleftikam> well i was microwaving something
<@zeleftikam> and after a minute or so
<@zeleftikam> it made a pop
<@zeleftikam> and im like
<@zeleftikam> ah well
<@zeleftikam> food does that
<@zeleftikam> then it started going fucking crazy with pops
<@zeleftikam> like almost constantly
<@zeleftikam> and i got freaked out and ran over to the microwave
<@zeleftikam> then i remembered i put in popcorn.
Comment: #null
#1066
<D1> omg
<D1> christians are knocking at my door
<D1> and they're armed with the holy bible
#52657
Glowsun: did you hear about evel knievel's latest stunt?
MrMoog_: no?
Glowsun: he's going to ride through ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back
MrMoog_: XD XD XD
#300807
<mr_daemon> I also set a reminder to clear the floors on the days the roomba is scheduled to run
<mr_daemon> Because Roombas are a bit like puppies
<mr_daemon> Somtimes you come home to find a bunch of shredded papers and kleenex all over the floor, electronics tossed around and wires everywhere with the roomba in the middle, its red light pulsing
#40040
<Gohanmastaflex> Uni constantly hears his parents having sex because they can't understand the concept of "sound"
<KitBoxPocket> hahahha
<KitBoxPocket> on the plus side
<KitBoxPocket> when he eventually gets a girlfriend he'll know what to say
<KitBoxPocket> <Uni> Ohhh yeah, right there [Uni's mom's name]. <Uni's g/f> ...my name is Sharon, asshole! *slap*
<Gohanmastaflex> hahahaha
<Nyschashi-Seikun> no, more like <uni> Oh yeah! there! [Uni's dad's name]
<KitBoxPocket> bahaha
<Nyschashi-Seikun> ;/
<KitBoxPocket> we're so fucking mean to uni
<Gohanmastaflex> <Uni> Harder! Harder! Don't stop, [Uni's sister's name]!
<KitBoxPocket> >_<
<KitBoxPocket> Uni's sister is like 7, man
<Nyschashi-Seikun> that's what makes it so funny
<Gohanmastaflex> Uni's family doesn't celebrate Christmas
<Gohanmastaflex> they celebrate Straponmas
<KitBoxPocket> I can feel my soul turning blacker the more I hang out with you guys
#21421
[^Ryan^]: welcome to the real world she said to me
[Epi]: Possible second line to ^Ryan^'s poem "as she took of her pants and turned into a he"
#43594
<@Alucard> Uptime: 3 weeks 3 hours 52 minutes 34 seconds
<@Alucard> :)
<+Twiz> oh yeah?
<+Twiz> well
<+Twiz> my wang is 9" long so BEAT THAT
<!CompHobbyist> it's your job to beat that not ours
Comment: #wpi
#67067
<BamaWOLF> some bird just shit on me
<Mac-arena> Note: If vultures are circling overhead, you've been IRCing on the porch for too long.
Comment: #adium on Freenode.
#22760
<fabutron> so we were at sonic the other day (which is a drive up restraunt like in the fifties, for those of you that don't have sonic) and we made a joke about punching the waitress in the uterus and over the little drive up radio the guy was like "we can still hear you"
#16406
<Anecdotist> I never watched the Power Rangers. So I guess I just figured that they were like forest rangers, but more powerful. Maybe even as powerful as me. I know that I am pretty powerful when it comes to forest stuff, because Smokey the Bear is all, "Only you can prevent forest fires." If I'm the only one, I must be pretty powerful.
#50738
<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
<seelet> wtf
<HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking weed, and fucking chicks
<seelet> :(
#8300
<kat-moffobsessing> why do dongs always gain length when played live?
<kat-moffobsessing> SONGS!
#8329
<a> i wish i had some vr goggles or something
<Loc-Dog> a: for porn?
<a> so nobody could tell i was playing games
<a> games being interactive porn
<Loc-Dog> a: they'd be able to tell when you pulled out the "joystick" to manuever your "character" in the "first person shooter"
<a> Loc-Dog: i use the keyboard.
#71222
< Syntacs> It's a shame Nintendo isn't releasing today, because they could have an advertising campaign that said "Happy Hallowiin! Don't forget to trick or twiit!", and we'd all be like "Hah! What a delightful pun from the loveable and eccentric Japanese.", and Sony would say "Uh, Happy Thanksps3ing. Err. Shit."
#46655
<%PortoRob> i had a lot of spare time in algebra
<%spock1104> lol
<%PortoRob> i also made programs that did out the problems for you, and sold them to people in the class
<%PortoRob> they would try and cheat me though and only one would buy it and transfer it to others
<%PortoRob> so I developed a copyright system on TI83
<%PortoRob> it involved hidden lists and keys
<%spock1104> there's a way to limit it to the calculator ID
<%PortoRob> and if you didn't have the right key, all of the answers were just random numbers
<%PortoRob> the first test i did that on, people weren't very happy with me
Comment: #WPI
#4333
*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood
#8719
<AndrewB> Lonely..
<Linguica> aww
<AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
<AndrewB> Er, wrong window.
#305055
<Nuvero> man, i think i just got trolled hard
<Nuvero> i was taking a dump, when I notice a Playboy is lying in the newspaper box, so I started reading it
<Nuvero> (reading it, no fapping, or anything)
<Nuvero> halfway through, I hear the door open, and a knife appeared
<Nuvero> i was like "holy fucking shit!" and started pulling my pants up real quick
<Nuvero> when the door fully open, and here is my dad, with a knife in his hand, taking a photo of me
<Nuvero> freaked out, trying to pull up my pants, with a Playboy in the hand
<Nuvero> i... don't know what to think.
#888
<rob`> highschool was the best 7 years of my life
#14967
<[Ht]Fro> Here in canada we have a special program to deal with the homeless...it's called winter
#7230
[ace_kevi] heh, i didn't know there was a programming language called
brainfuck.
[buz-] goes by "MIPS assembler" also