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#8223
<below> i'm going to kill my roommate.
<Aven> Kill kill kill
<below> he's going to die for this one
<Aven> Wait, I'M YOUR ROOMMATE!
<below> you are?
<below> wtf?!
<below> how many fingers am i holding up?
<Aven> 2
<Aven> But I don't think ones a... oh god.
<below> yes.
* Aven stabs himself in the eye with a pen.
#44850
<Segosa> IRC has taught me a girl in a bath tub isn't always a good thing.
#609
n e r d b 5: DUDE
n e r d b 5: shania twain is only 20 years older than me.... i might have a chance one day, since she isnt that much older than me
#265040
(floorislava) i'm going to start sleeping on the floor
(FlyingMariachi) but the floor is lava
(floorislava) OH SHIT
#24791
<AragornEstel> hey harpana
<AragornEstel> did you get all of KS from me?
<Harpana_Rocks> yes i did thank you
<AragornEstel> np
<Harpana_Rocks> now i can wipe the cum off of my screen
<Harpana_Rocks> damn wrong channel
#296744
<+k0tash> I once had a hard drive clunk-clicking
<+k0tash> Strange noises, wierd sounds and tick-ticking
<+k0tash> I thought I would wait
<+k0tash> And procrastinate...
<+k0tash> but now all my data is missing :(
#31151
<ssx> Saddam's just been captured
<hoes> My dad! I cant find my dad! My god!
#306775
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#73744
<Tony-UH> today in a lecture... i was sitting in front of these 2 guys who were chatting quite loudly
<Tony-UH> they went on for a while
<Tony-UH> i was gonna turn to them and tell them to stfu
<Tony-UH> but then i heard another guy trying to say something to them
<Tony-UH> it was "excuse me guys, can you stop please, i'm trying to sleep here"
#27945
<MRAmes> In some lanuages I have used, a symbol like a circumflex ^ over the letter indicates a glottal stop.
[Eliezer] thus, "x-guh-2" means "x squared"
[Eliezer] (that was a joke)
<Gordon> really? I thought that jokes were funny.
#852
<doraemon`> one of my best friends sells herself for 150 bucks a trick
<doraemon`> she rules
#16131
<Fishfood> hey when we are all grown up and have kids we should all meet up and pit our kids against each other in a 5 day battle royale
<Prick> "Kid Rancher"
<Fishfood> my kid will kick all your kids asses
<Prick> Mine will be pixies. They'll strip seductively and distract your kids.
<Fishfood> all my kid needs is his wits and his amazingly large penis
<Prick> I think you're assuming that the Big Ogre Penis Gene skips a generation.
#14214
<Ryan> my mom was killed by mobile phones
<mal> she has only herself to blame
<Ryan> no really, she was using it in a storm
<mal> and?
<Ryan> lightening
<mal> then what?
<Ryan> mobile phone truck ran her over
#299949
Joe: Tommy's room is right next to mine and the walls are really thin
Joe: Every time I hear him start yelling at his friends over Xbox Live when I am trying to sleep
Joe: I release the IP address on our router
#301361
<mike> i'm gonna start voting republican
<Censored_Vagina> no you're not
<mike> because if i can't fix things i'm sure as hell gonna accelerate the decline
<Censored_Vagina> it's one of those things like "I'm just gonna catch my own jizz in my mouth" and then you stop at the last second because you realize that's not a good idea
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#46638
<fr_gment> If "pro" is antonymic to "con," what is antonymic to "progress?"
<blarg> WTF is "con-gress?"
<blarg> Oh, wait...
#39781
<phil> alright, guess what song i'm drumming on my keyboard
<phil> jhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhj
<ecks> wipeout....
<phil> wtf how'd you know?
<ecks> we're at a LAN party and you're sitting right behind me, dumbass
<phil> touche sir, touche
#54658
<Mrono> man
<Mrono> i had a nightmare last night
<Mrono> i dreamed that efnet started having chanservices
<Mrono> ugh
#2839
<drBoston> DGMage : asl
<DGMage> You seriously need a new pickup line.
<drBoston> never
<drBoston> you don't fuck with perfection
#223678
<CtrlAltDestroy> 'Sup CMK
<@CMK> ^ That direction.
<@CMK> <_<
<CtrlAltDestroy> Not if I turn my monitor
<CtrlAltDestroy> LIKE THIS!!!
#22201
<deceptika> god created shit....honda made it move
#4843
<GiRLiE-> ur cruel.. but funny
<bytraper> and you have a beuatiful mind... but you're fat
#28961
<@kingmob> does ms outlook speak nntp?
<@synec> if it did, it would be news to me
#11943
<Normandy> I like Pixie's spelling late at night
<Pixie_Pete> kick Normandy SUHT PU 0F0!!!11
#27164
<Sephy> I was sitting at dinner with my mom
<Sephy> And she stuck her tongueout at me
<Sephy> So I told her, I know many places she could stick that
<Blu3> How many of them were on you?
<Sephy> only 2
<Sephy> waite....