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#2546
<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi
#5699
<Thrash|Zzz> YAY HARRY POTTER ON DVD
<Khross{killme}> O_O
<Khross{killme}> I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY
<Khross{killme}> Oh wait I'm heterosexual.
#15942
<SamGod> I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands in the stream of water, and all of a sudden I stop and get TOTALLY grossed out and I'mlike "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking I just got a ton of piss all over my hands. Then I realize it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out of it, not piss. What the HELL was my brain thinking?
#6390
<octalpuss> that's right... i'm on my way back to being beautiful
<octalpuss> fuck brains =o)
<octalpuss> oh, and drinking adequate water really kicks ass
<octalpuss> the extra skin on my tummy that i thought i was going to need a
tummy tuck for is now 85% gone
<el_kab0ng> turn around, I think I found it
#51445
<piv-4> im starting an irc literacy project
<piv-4> just hit the keys if you are interested
Comment: Undernet #macintosh.
#302934
Ted: Usually we get a virga rainfall here.
bob read that as viagra rainfall
ErinH: lol
Ted: sigh, bob
ian: "if you have rainfall lasting more than 4 hours, contact your weatherman"
Ted: heh
MichelleH: dare I ask what virga rainfall is?
bob: gah. now I have "it's raining men" stuck in my head
Ted: it's rain that evaporates before hitting the ground
ErinH: cool
bob: heh. premature evaporation.
#16295
* jitspoe attempts to go back to his paper
<DaveMan> BWAHAHAHA
<DaveMan> ALL YOUR CONCENTRATION ARE BELONG TO IRC
<DaveMan> YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO PASS MAKE YOUR BURGER FLIPPING
#53055
<m[a]cky> I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.
#28942
<@rzr_grl> wow.
<@rzr_grl> $1500 into the bank
<@rzr_grl> $1449.98 out of the bank
<@rzr_grl> in under 30 min
* rzr_grl sobs
<@jwz> hey, that's profit!
<@jwz> now you let the compound interest do its thing
#21815
[ak_] I'm moving to linux
[ak_] good bye cruel world!
#36319
<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work
<MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0.
#46477
<Goat> see? Look at how cool it is. That's why i put it as my homepage.
<girl__> Goat: change your nick. "Goatse? Look at how cool it is. That's why i put it as my homepage."
*** "Goat" is now known as "Tub"
<Tub> Girl, I love thee for pointing that out. =)
#16254
<Serevok> does your penis reach the city of Montreal?
<Cheezric> I'm talking 5, maybe ten minutes tops.
<Cheezric> Well, we jews are blessed.
<Serevok> with choping off your cocks at birth?
#29444
<Procyon> I don't know the world around me!
<Procyon> I'm scared, and confused!
<DS> have you felt a strong desire to vote for george w. bush recently?
#311000
<Pen Straw> the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle
#5746
<Udeth> my mother came in and demanded that I'd move shit off my floor, so she could wash my room tomorrow, because it smells rotten in here.
<Udeth> i can't smell shit.
<ToRMeNTeD> well if theres shit on the floor no wonder it smells rotten
#30573
<MaTriX-> my cousin tells me "what does cum mean"
<MaTriX-> i tell her, go ask the guy u think is really cute......
<odom> dude
<Suicidaltaco> dude how old is she
<odom> how old is she
<MaTriX-> 14
<odom> tell her wait 3 yrs and call odom
<SDS91> tell her to call me 3 years ago
#2018
<MadHatter> I wish I could get a job as a stunt penis
<MadHatter> like for porno movies
<MadHatter> I don't look like a pornstar(not that I'm ugly, I just don't have that look), but I have a porno penis
#4797
<DrWoody> We're talking about C++ here right?
<detmod> no java, duh
<DrWoody> Oh, I though Univ. of IL was too l337 for java
<detmod> what the hell is l337?
<DrWoody> OMG YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A COMP SCI MAJOR! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT L337 IS!!! =O
#146901
<Hogie> I was locked out of our server rooms the other night
<Hogie> because my finger got cut
<Hogie> and I couldn't pass biometrics
#21456
<@hugh|boredstupid> my mind was lagged
<@Andrew|busy> I hate when that happens
<@Andrew|busy> you're like "fkin reconnect. hurry up dammit- I'm probably saying something stupid"
#51083
legames: you know what pisses me off the most?
dackattac: Goats that kick you when you finger their asshole?
dackattac: Er
dackattac: What?
legames: There wouldn't even be a market for the iMic if Apple just had headphone jacks like everyone else
legames: also the goat thing
#6938
<eric> ...whered #goatsex go?
<PyroP> hell.
<eric> mommy, where do cheerleaders come from?
<PyroP> hell.
<eric> ...whats lleh backwards?
<LdySaphyre> cheerleader.
#34505
<philth> I quit reading after to kill a mockingbird gave no advice on how to kill a mackingbird
#21305
<stigmata`> www.stigmata.dyns.net/images/
<Radio-> why are you scratched up
<stigmata`> well
<stigmata`> it all started when i saw a badger walking in my back yard
<stigmata`> then i thought
<stigmata`> "it'd be cool to shove it down my shirt"