Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#27964
<bishead> 8===========================>
<[Piratez]> 8=D
<bishead> u got jipped
<[Piratez]> i'm jewish
#6442
<redhook> <--- 22
<redhook> and I got a 7 year old on my nuts, how pathetic
<redhook> s/7/17/
<redhook> that looked bad
#239876
< Tyr> wow... epic story from my boss
< Tyr> so, i sent him an email letting him know i'm selling a laptop to see if the company might want to buy it
< Tyr> or if he might know anyone else
< Tyr> turns out he does
< Tyr> see, he has this friend that's notorious for sleepwalking and peeing in random places
< Tyr> he apparently got up and peed on his laptop this weekend
< loodWork> I guess when he woke up...
< loodWork> *puts on sunglasses* ...he was really pissed off...
< loodWork> YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
#15467
<rogue> I like how matt took the time to tell us he was vomiting
<rogue> it's that kind of detail that really makes this channel work, I think
#310629
<TonyTheLemur> they tested our tornado siren a couple mornings ago
<Glaug-Eldare> did she attract any tornadoes
Comment: #foxie
#27770
<aeonite> !8ball will my life magically turn around after this weekend with happy unicorn fairy dust wishes and chocolate popsicle kisses so I can be happy forever and ever?
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: My sources say no.
<aeonite> !8ball is it gonna suck?
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: My reply is no.
<aeonite> !8ball typical, then
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: My sources say no.
<aeonite> !8ball is that all you can say is no?
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: Signs point to yes.
#2404
<BlackDeth> did you know i'm sitting on my toilet right now
<BlackDeth> taking a crap
<myhero> :L
<BlackDeth> i have been this whole conversation
<BlackDeth> brb wiping
*** myhero changes topic to '<BlackDeth> brb wiping'
<SD-Washu> erm k thats just wrong
<SD-Washu> you're not supposed to irc or call ppl from teh fucking bathroom
<SD-Washu> i dont fucking care if you are joking
<ryo-ohki> I do it all the time. :/
<BlackDeth> i'm back on the couch
<BlackDeth> i dont talk to people on the phone when i'm on the toilet
<BlackDeth> because they can hear the gruesome details
#29473
<xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<pimp> who was wearing them?
#14456
<cix> they're outside aren't they?
<s> what is "outside"?
<cix> it's that place they show on "Discover"
<cix> I think it's near Montana.
#123702
<Kojispruke> Oh man.
<Kojispruke> So one of my cousins had a baby, rite.
<Kojispruke> "he's so cute" "Yeah, whatever, he'll grow out of it." "No he won't." "Uh, Michael Jackson was a cute baby too."
<Kojispruke> And then she stopped talking to me. :(
#8701
*** jamesm sets mode: -snt
<jamesm> dunno why people keep fucking up the channel modes, like, who gives a fuck
<jamesm> oh my god, someone protect IRC!
<jamesm> fucking choad munching morons
*** cactoid sets mode: +k jamesmisgay
#300788
* Now talking in #coding
<ih8censorship> so want to hear about how I got a date?
<ih8censorship> with a girl?
<Dr_BadSpoon> express it in C++
<ih8censorship> hm
<ih8censorship> class girl{
<ih8censorship> public:
<ih8censorship> void Computerbroken(){Goondatewithgeek();}
<ih8censorship> };
<ih8censorship> girl Erika;
<ih8censorship> Erika.Computerbroken();
<ih8censorship> Ih8censorship.mood("^_^");
#2999
<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.
#7517
<rawkus> fuckin women.
<rawkus> i call for booty and get a lecture on racism
<rawkus> wtf?
#10197
<Trendarth> wb
<Yamatto> ta
<Trendarth> np
<@antix> why does everyone talk in two letters these days...
<Trendarth> dk
<Trendarth> because our society promotes slothenly behaviour
<@antix> ok
#33692
<BasSCadeT> man my cat pissed on my bed the other day (this is gross) and i rolled over into it face first
#79912
dalener: hey at least when i move my room it'll be sound free of most people and have a big bed
dalener: then my plan to fuck someone will be complete
Mrs_Grima_Wormtongue: no
Mrs_Grima_Wormtongue: you still need the person
jack_burton84: goddamnit
#8369
<Shuichi> but i'm an optimist
<Slick_Wil> so glass half full then?
<Shuichi> are you implying i have a drinking problem Slick_Wil?
#257
<repp0r> Dude, pot first, then porn.
<repp0r> Trust me. It's so much better. :D
<lele> dude i'm doing before AND after
#25353
<Elfin> Hey, it happens. I don't want you to feel that you have to apologise for anything. This is #ecchi-attack, open to all kinds of people.
<Sak> EXCEPT THE BI-CURIOUS
<Elfin> YEAH. And faggots.
<Elfin> And black people.
<Elfin> And Muslims.
<Sak> And Asians.
<Elfin> And Pakistani's.
<Sak> And Native Americans.
<Elfin> Apart from them, everyone else is okay.
<Sak> Ahem.
<Sak> FORGETTING THE JEWS ARE WE???
#663
<hypr> digdug: i bet you have your beeper auto go off when somebody adds a quote cause your a supernerd
#2765
<Waters> i had a dream about masterbating...thats sad isnt it :(
#44119
<Nitrix> So we have this really retarded blonde in our Chem class, and she had just gotten back from a Cruise in Mexico. Apparently she met JEssica Simpson on the cruise (She did have a buncha pictures with her). She was like "Yah! She's like really cool and not as dumb as everyone thinks, we had some cool conversations!"
<Nitrix> I'm like Yah sure ya did proily when like this:
<Nitrix> "What are you think about?"
<Nitrix> "Nothing"
<Nitrix> Oh my god me too!
#34750
<Theogony> e and his community service
<Theogony> he needs to be buying me lunch right now. i've gone 9.5 days without insulting him regarding a certain physical characteristic
<Theogony> i told him my idea of community service is to leave torrent files open after i've downloaded them
<KArmA-> hehehe
<KArmA-> you're a credit to the species
Comment: #couch on EFnet
#37416
<@AlmtyBob> man
<@AlmtyBob> alcoholics take themselves too seriously
<@AlmtyBob> some dude comes up to me wanting to cancel a day off he'd put in
<@AlmtyBob> saying he didn't remember why he put it in the first place, nothing was going on except his one year anniversary of not drinking
<@AlmtyBob> so I said smth like, "Hey! Steve and I are going downtown on Thursday, come down to the bar and we'll celebrate"
<@AlmtyBob> he wasn't amused
<@AlmtyBob> if you can't joke about yourself who can you joke about?