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#59538
<NiKz> Guess what my bf got me last night!
<Omi> Pregnant?
#41188
<Shadda> So, Like
<Shadda> I'm watching this thing on PBS last night
<Shadda> about this guy who used to be on the bomb squad
<Shadda> Got his arms blown off from the elbow and down
<Shadda> both arms
<Shadda> and they're saying, 10 years later, a radical new procedure is possible
<Shadda> a double arm transplant
<Shadda> Then they get all serious
<Shadda> and the narator goes
<Shadda> "The only catch...the arms must come from a dead person."
<Shadda> like, wtf
<Shadda> Where else would they come from?
<rworks> I volunteer!
<Shadda> "Sorry, sir. It seems you've been taking your arms for granted. Excessive masturbation and constant ass picking. We feel that this man, who has served his country, deserves them more."
<Shadda> *Chink!*
#299826
Hypnotek: Have you ever noticed the similarities between the daft punk Pyramid and the image on the back of the dollar bill?
John: They're pyramids. And both open up. That's about it.
John: Unless the dollar bill also has lasers, an attached HD LCD screen, neon lights, and a DJ booth inside as well.
Hypnotek: It should.
Hypnotek: Would make paying for things much more fun.
#265238
<celeste> i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
<celeste> but i mean....
<celeste> why wouldn't it be?
<ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
<ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
<ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
<ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of
#17172
* C|3avag3 has quit IRC (Quit: Wh0 Am |? U sure u wanna know? If somebody told u i was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied! This is my gift! It is my curse! Who am |? |'m Spider-Man!!!)
<Seaker> And lamest quit message of the day goes to C|3avag3
* Att|tude^ has quit IRC (Quit: I can't go on, I know not what to do, My heart is worn, I feel as If I'm through, Please believe in me. 'Cause what I need is for you.... To believe in me.)
<Seaker> Woah, tough competition today ... I think today we'll have to call it a draw.
* Love-snack has quit IRC (Quit: Quit playing games with my heart cause baby you're breaking my heart , I LOVE YOU FOREVER XXX)
<Seaker> *DING DING* WE HAVE A WINNER!!
#57641
<NiteHawk> My mom just caught me masturbating.. Dammit...
<Mikkel> Ah well, everyone does it man. Shit happens
<NiteHawk> Yeah but while I was about to blow the dog ran in, I was trying to push the dog out of the room when my mom walked in.
<NiteHawk> Lets just say its not a good site one hand on the dog, the other holding a kleenix full of jizz, and my pants half down.
<NiteHawk> The look on her face dood, she was mortified.
<Mikkel> >.<
#6778
<Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well.. looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly
#3295
(Segment7) You cant buy happiness.
(Segment7) but you can lease it for $10,000/month
#29164
<DNAspark99>Why would I want to join the army and throw away my life to the government?
<DNAspark99>Tho on the plus side, I'd love to go to iraq and gun me down some reporters...
#307194
<+Becky_> when I was like 10 or something I went on the internet to like a HTML chatroom on yahoo
<+Becky_> some guy had the nickname "blink182fan"
<+Becky_> I said to him that the blink tag sucks because it's not supported by all browsers
#3833
<Sylffor> The Legend of Zelda for the NES had replay value with the Second Quest.
<TURBOMEAT> by that logic, every single game with Randomly Generated Dungeons has infinite replay value
<nitrifik_> I don't even think those have one-play value :o
#69922
<lizsac> just foolin around
<lizsac> it's friday night for me
<lizsac> yeah come party down in #perl
<lizsac> you know right
* lizsac looks around
<Sartak> I liked it a little better when it was dead quiet. >_>
<lizsac> that's bad for your monitor
<lizsac> the text will burn into it and you'll see it when you turn the monitor off
<Sartak> It's 1994 all over again
#22529
<Capt_Dequranii> bah... the south were n00bs
<Capt_Dequranii> the north had the better aimbot
<crack> "omg!@! h4x h4x!~!!" Robert E. Lee
#60317
<+Tocsin> I saw that article about those surgeries they do
<+Tocsin> fuck, I couldn't tell the difference between the fake one and the real one..
<+Tocsin> I mean it got me to thinking..
<+Tocsin> How many men I've been with... and what's the chance that one of 'em mighta been a woman before.
<+Tocsin> ...FUCK I mean that the other way around
Comment: Tocsin is an alcoholic
#302103
<bucketmouse> every time i feel depressed i just 7zip something from the commandline
<bucketmouse> lrobin$ 7za a test.7z blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Creating archive test.7z
<bucketmouse> Compressing blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Everything is Ok
#1619
<Seros> fuck
<Seros> we were at 7-11
<Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?"
<Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the meaning of this.. wtf?"
<Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization. >:O
#42623
< rast> whats a good free perl program for windows?
< billnyeWRK> perl program?
< rast> you know, a program that can run perl scripts
< caphuso> rast: perl is a good program to run perl scripts with...
< rast> url?
< sawtooth> no, perl ;)
#56138
<CantOutRunADuck> man i wish i had a little brother so i could play with Transformers without looking like a tool
<bored> you'd still look like a tool
<iGuy> i think the fact that you are a tool makes you look like a tool. having a little brother just means you have company in the toolchest
#104302
<Gerrit> Cannot join #real-life (Banned)
#52386
<Valdek> rofl
<Valdek> my sister's friend alyssa just came into the kitchen when i was getting some grape juice
<Valdek> and yelled "don't ever cum inside a girl!"
<Valdek> and threw a pregnancy test box at me
#295406
<smurf> Hi - I'm sure someone has told you why you accidentally got k-lined earlier today, but in case you didn't know, a bot we run went crazy and k-lined all of #furry, thinking you were a giant botnet >_<
#36213
Einhander MK II: I really need a gif
Einhander MK II: gf*
Einhander MK II: see :(
#12889
<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll".
#20246
<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant
#36965
<mfs9> and there is a mosquito flying in my area
<mfs9> I must kill it!!!
<claudio> /kill mosquito gtfo bug
Comment: #blizzhackers on irc.digitaltoxicity.net