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#5026
<myles> i wonder if i talk to my marijuana it will make it grow faster
#42623
< rast> whats a good free perl program for windows?
< billnyeWRK> perl program?
< rast> you know, a program that can run perl scripts
< caphuso> rast: perl is a good program to run perl scripts with...
< rast> url?
< sawtooth> no, perl ;)
#35117
<Zappa_> friday afternoons prove the theory of relativity
#162354
<skumby> i think only japanese chicks can get away with blue hair, a miniskirt, and a severed tentacle hanging from their twat
#301502
Bob: Just got a call from my mother to tell me that my "last remaining uncle died today". I said "last? I thought there were two left?" To which, she said, "Oh, [he] died last month. I thought I told you."
#304056
<pherricoxide> walmart.. I tried to hack into their systems during my bored time
<pherricoxide> surprisingly didn't get very far
<pherricoxide> I did manage to screw up my badge once though
<pherricoxide> I entered my badge info into the item database
<pherricoxide> so when I tried to swipe my badge to log into things
<pherricoxide> it.. would display the price instead
-*- pherricoxide was worth $0.99
Comment: #wolf on irc.esper.net
#10958
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.
#13331
<BlazinIndo> you can call me mentally retarded, but i feel good right about now
<Ludwig> thats cus you're too stupid to know you're mentally retarded
<Ludwig> its a catch 22
<BlazinIndo> i dont see what your getting at....
#32137
<NeonEvangeliomon> heh, a friend of mine had his 80 giga (full, btw) fucked because the housecleaner woman decided to vaccuum the space next to his (opened) pc
<Typhlosion_v2> God, that must've really sucked.
<Typhlosion_v2> ...
<Typhlosion_v2> No pun intended.
Comment: #wolfpackproductions on MIRC-X
#9973
mike_afe > Linux manuals should have a section at the end showing a linux geek what to do in the event of sex. Not a complete sex manual but just some basic instructions.
Nikki_afe > 'Leave computer, it is not required'
#101382
Varnthegreat: I have to go pee and then fill an empty Gatorade bottle with Mountain Dew.
xtedheadx: Please please please get confused in the middle of doing that.
#9555
<^Amber^> LEAVE MY ILLETERATE ASS ALONE!
<^Amber^> I didn't spell that right did I?
#41508
FAP@Work: REMEMBER :)
FAP@Work: Democrats vote TUESDAY :)
FAP@Work: Republicans vote WEDNESDAY :)
#21086
<Midvalley> it's a beautiful day
<Midvalley> makes we want to do something other than close the drapes because the light is on my monitor
#3106
<Maxstah> GOD what i'd do for gwen (stefani) to just kiss the tip of my cock
<Javi> you'd blow me?
<Maxstah> javi i'd swallow
<Maxstah> i'm comfortable with my hentrosexuality
<Maxstah> long as i have a coke to chase it down with
#297866
< Brat> I dreamt that my cat had become unsatisfied with all the love and affection that I gave her and that she started looking online at cat "personals", which are really just pages and pages of people's hands in the "cat petting" position, with profile information like "looking for a loving cat to stroke" "SWM looking for classy cat", etc. etc.
< Brat> It ended up with me getting on my knees and promising that I'd give her twice as much attention.
< Brat> :( Then I woke up.
#48144
<Dogan> today in school the funniest thing ever happened at an assembly
<Dogan> i was up in the stands as part of the band, watching the cheerleaders do some show
<Dogan> and one of the girls loses her balance and falls off the top of the pyramid
<Dogan> So without thinking, i stand up and do a "Wah wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" on my trombone
<Dogan> never saw that cheerleader again
#6281
<sylwia> Everything from this point on is dependant on you being able to relax your anus
#1584
<Godzi||a> I would suck my own dick too if I could.
<Chrononaut> "you're only gay if you swallow"
<Invictus[A]> you're a fag for even thinkin' about it
#55653
<PantsMacKenzie> I once played freeze tag, and a friend of mine ended up in the emergency room
<PantsMacKenzie> he never unfroze.
<neoliminal> and playing tag might tramatize them.
<SimCaputosis> I know at least three kids who when in preschool with me were hospitalized from tag
<PantsMacKenzie> and we forgot about him.
<PantsMacKenzie> so...
<PantsMacKenzie> yeah.
<PantsMacKenzie> he just stood there.
<PantsMacKenzie> and didn't eat for like... days
<rcmurphy> So you won?
<PantsMacKenzie> damn straight.
#9106
<axial> Which are the best PDAs these days?
<Chibby> when girls are kissing guys in the stairwell at school
<Chibby> i think
<Chibby> i have no clue
<Chibby> why do you ask something like that?
<Quinn> That was a really bad one.
<Chibby> well whats a good PDA then?
<axial> ..huh?
<Chibby> you said: "what's the best public display of affection?"
<Chibby> i attempted to answer it
<Quinn> I think ax was meaning personal digital assistant.
<Chibby> OMFG
: Chibby slaps myself
<Chibby> k bye~
<Quinn> I thought you were joking, heh.
<Chibby> persocon is the best PDA then
#16541
** Moses is now known as Cain....
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro ....
<KeeperS> ....
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible ....
* KeeperS is moved to tears
#43885
<Ravenclaw> i want to sew "bad mother fucker" onto my wallet somehow
<Meo`> you should probably have someone else sew it
<Meo`> bad motherfuckers dont sew
#3019
<yossarian> theres a hole in my bucket
<tomg> yossarian: did microsoft make it?
<yossarian> yes, MSBucket
<tomg> have they made a patch for it yet?
<tomg> no, they probably want you to upgrade to Bucket.NET
<yossarian> with what shall i fix it dear microsoft, dear microsoft?
<tomg> well the CBR (common bucket runtime) will have embedded security to prevent leaks
#44255
somebody124: so... wes and his parents are gonna be gone all weekend....
somebody124: he has an unsecured wirless network.....
somebody124: are you thinking what im thinking?
putdownthestick: we should steal his car!!!