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#300852
<ranc0r> IT Rule: When Symantec buys a product, it goes to shit.
#40080
<Luigi30> all commercials with women in them are the following:
<Luigi30> A) arthritis
<Luigi30> B) vaginal cream
<Luigi30> or C) weight-loss steroids
<mindspillage> D) Adult diapers.
<Austin> Don't forget feminine hygiene products.
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<Luigi30> I like making pottery
<Luigi30> that's why I use CLITORIS BRAND VAGINAL CREAM
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Comment: #wikipedia
#3201
<Waldo> tool, are you retarded or just an idiot? i need to know if i should just hate you or pity you as well.
<Tool> i think you should hate me
<Waldo> that's a given
<Waldo> i need to know if i should pity you as well.
#20147
<crazy> you just made a huge withdrawl from the first bank of fag.
#34159
<Rjx> so I'm sitting with some friends in college
<Rjx> and drinking some soup
<Rjx> and I say "hey, this soup is thicker than a norwegian"
<Rjx> and I look up
<Rjx> and there's this girl glaring at me
<Rjx> and I think "wait a minute"
<Rjx> so I say
<Rjx> "er du norsk?"
<Rjx> her: ja
<Rjx> oops....
#23956
<kharma> I just found out that XP is the Christian monogram made from the first two letter of the Greek word for Christ.
<kharma> Just another sign that Bill Gate's is trying to be God.
#34225
(scone) r u always in here
(+kangie) im a citizen
(+kangie) thats why i have the +
(@Whelan) yeah but we have laptops with Wireless cards
(@Whelan) and we just walk around with them strapped to us that way we never have to leave
#14568
<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT.....
#15485
<SmugLynnPlums> with all this quote shit going on, everyone on IRC is going to witty as fuck or make an ass out of themself doing so.
#1985
(|{KomienD) Who has a crack for Spider-Man?
(paper_bag) who has english lessons in an hour?
(vital|wrk) who has to work right now
(paper_bag) who let the dogs out
(nexxai) Who is getting pussy tonight?
(paper_bag) im getting hand
(nexxai) [paper_bag]: jerking yourself off doesn't count
(paper_bag) blast :(
(paper_bag) guess i can give back grandma her lotion, i wont be getting any l33t points tonight
#5646
<+stray> Somehow, i cant get behind a prophet named JOE SMITH
<+krispy> hahaha
<+krispy> i can't get behind any
<+stray> the catholic church spent many years getting behind ME (if you know what I mean *wink*)
#117933
<+MMDE> i was supposed to scare my lil bro who was lying in the bed in the dark
<+MMDE> but it was my mom... and i placed my hands on both her tits
<+MMDE> she didnt have on anything
<+MMDE> they're hot
<+Yumichika> u make me feel normal MMDE
Comment: irc.p2p-network.net/#demonoid
#51314
<Patr1ck> wait, why do you have a web cam?
<Patr1ck> there is no broadband here
<DarkSenay> i was supposed to talk with my GF at home
<DarkSenay> yeah, found out there was no broadband
<DarkSenay> and we broke up
#1656
<JD> AFAIK, Anubis is the only Egyptian god who is often drawn with an
erect penis.
<JD> Really!
DigiGnðme> I thought they all were.
DigiGnðme> Oh no, that's the Kama Sutra.
#24133
<Shadow> You know how when you watch anime and they have a little nudity, you think "Why can't there be more porn in this show?"
<Shadow> Then you watch hentai, and you think "Why can't the story be better?"
<Shadow> I just saw Hanaukyo Maids, and I don't know whether to jack off or watch politely.
#38197
<Fennec> gumby_jd: I know. A "you have been drafted" spam scam! :)
<vAE86> Fennec: that's so funny, and it'd prolly work
<@Scoth> Fennec: The sad thing is it'd probably work
<@Scoth> Yeah
<@Scoth> Just a simple "You have been drafted, call this number to confirm and get flight arrangements" and see how many call
<vAE86> all you'd have to say, is call 1800 4 usarmy, for details on how to get ahold of your recruiter and tell him you've been drafted.
<vAE86> those evil recruiters would suck them right up
<@Scoth> Haha. That'd be so evil. The caller thinks they've been drafted, the recruiter things someone is volunteering, no one would be the wiser until later
<vAE86> until it was beyond hope
<@Scoth> *fade into a scene in Iraq, two soldiers chatting* "So, why'd you join?" "I got drafted. Stupid Bush." "What? There is no draft." "What? I got an e-mail..." "Oh, that's a scam. Haha!" "Crap.."
#19958
<Kid_Vid2> I WOULD BUY NEVERWINTER NIGHTS BUT IF MY COMPUTER EVEN CATCHES SIGHT OF MORE THAN TWELVE POLYGONS IT STARTS WEEPING AND CAUSES AN ELECTRICAL SHORT WITH ITS TEARS
#8248
<EK> What if the war in Afghanistan was fought with midgets!
<Jei> With midgets as infantry, or as ammunition?
#75576
<@ALGORYTHM> make your own wikipedia entry then you too can be right
#26431
<snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and stuff
<taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
<grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
<grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port, please supply me with another"
<snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck your self
#11085
<MissTika> how have you been?
<Sage> Good, good. And you?
<MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my " best" friends but other then that heh
<Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again.
#55852
<axiom> heh my sister's friend got molested by a gay guy he had to share a bed with on a band trip..hahah
<Socks> what's so funny about that?
<axiom> he's working to become a priest
#67650
<Justin_Meisse> I think I may have conquered my nemisis, the bane of my existance, the evil bastard that's mocked me for so many years
<NoelCower> Your penis?
#50338
(placid|work) i knew a girl that was fat just because of her asthma medication
(@Rayn) what was she taking for asthma ... cheeseburgers?
#14103
<xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
<phunqe> oh? :/
<xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex, but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
<phunqe> Ah, no ping reply?