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#304691
<BunneH> i saw a urologist yesterday
<BunneH> er.. today, not yesterday
<BunneH> he had to use KY jelly to get his thumb into my prostate
<BunneH> well, i dunno if it was KY
<BunneH> may have been aknockoff
<BunneH> point is, i had a jelly-covered thumb in my anus
<BunneH> i felt like a donut
<BunneH> when he poked it he said "does this make you feel like you need to urinate?"
<BunneH> i almost said "no, but i feel like i need to shit a thumb"
<BunneH> luckily, i refrained, and just said "no"
#51024
<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus> go to visual africa
#8671
<DigDug> i'm so tired of reformatting quotes :/
<c-rOCK> THEN DONT
<c-rOCK> KILL THAT QDB
<c-rOCK> LIKE YOU WERE ABRAHAM
<c-rOCK> AND THAT SHIT IS YOUR SON
#177
<Lepper> i told my roommate's girlfriend that she needs to hook me up with some chicks
<Lepper> and she's like "dude, i bring my friends over... and all you do is play video games!"
#1678
<SEoD> ooooh, my mac is gorgeous
<SEoD> it's so expensive and see-thru
<Xlord> sounds like some women I know
#53679
xyzzy314: lol i saw this mcdonalds advertisement
xyzzy314: "until you can illegally download food, this is your best deal - the mcdonalds dollar menu"
#706
<dkl> The Sudanese Arabs which posses some of the largest penis's in the world, practice this method from the point of puberty. Fathers would send their son off to a trainer who would perform milking (jelq) to the young man for 30 minutes every day. This milking exercise forces blood into the penis, repeatedly engorging the penis with blood. Over the course of several months, the blood spaces in the penis became larger, being able to hold more blood, which in
<dkl> Over a period of several years, some of the men's penises became larger than 18" in length and 10" in circumference.
#297943
< gloone> ok
< gloone> remember when i said i loved windows 7
< gloone> that was 2 blue screens ago
Comment: #geekissues
#15037
<su-Septik`wrk> when the world trade center bombing occurred, the reporters said they could not retrieve the black box. my friend, who was stoned at the time, said "goddamn, ppl must be desperate for a playstation 2"
#14316
BoobiePatutti> My mom is now telling me what Hobbits do with their feet at night.
BoobiePatutti> Feeting.
BoobiePatutti> Like fisting, only with their feet.
#308051
<@keen> mm... xml
<Ceseuron> XML? XXXML is more like it...
<@keen> cryengine uses it for most of the item definitions
<Thalagyrt> XXXML?
<Thalagyrt> get real, it's more like <initialism type="abbreviation"><initial position="0" value="X" longvalue="eXtensible"/><initial position="1" value="M" longvalue="Markup"/><initial position="2" value="L" longvalue="Language"/></initialism>
#20130
<juditness> I RECEIVED MY PROFICIENCY CERTIFICATE =D
<Goatasaur> i'm going to get my procrastination certificate one of these days
#1060
<tokage> ha ha 'geek' weddings - "Do you, GandalfGreyhame, take cyndrekit to be your lawfully wedded wife in uptime and down, for low processing power and high, till someone unplugs the power cord
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#33982
<J_B_007> if it wernt for bash, id be able to wrok.
<J_B_007> *work
<Neon[UK]> did bash cripple you in some industrial accident?
Comment: #geekissues
#10456
<Starscream> okay, you guys suck and blow simultaneously, making you all
excellent trumpet players.
#34505
<philth> I quit reading after to kill a mockingbird gave no advice on how to kill a mackingbird
#135435
<ZALOAWAY> .
<ie|Stacks> good point
#16886
<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do
#37785
<@Lucifer7> I think I just caught my Linux servers in the act,
<@Lucifer7> I walk in and both of them are at high network and hard drive activity.
<@Lucifer7> Then they both suddenly stop and the lights go back to normal.
Comment: #Fritolaid irc.homelan.com
#39007
< isaac> If a liblog-log4per-perl perl log package can log ...
< isaac> how many logs can log a liblog-log4-perl-perl perl log packagE?
#301701
Matt: im never going to sleep again
Matt: I just had a dream that consisted of me attempting to save the world in a zombified universe. Saving it meant finding a cigar from 7-11 (it HAD to be 7-11) so that I could shove it up my ex girlfriends ass (who was with another guy because he's better at his job than me) and light the cigar, prompting it to turn into a rocket and launch her into the moon.
#58781
qreepyboris: However, I can tell you with authority that my French extra credit project is going to ROCK
qreepyboris: We're making a film of a few shortish skits in French
qreepyboris: And one of them is so awesome
qreepyboris: Schindler and Santa accidentally mix up their naughty and nice lists. :-)
qreepyboris: So Santa goes to all the Jews' houses and they're not there, 'cuz they're all in camps
qreepyboris: And I haven't read the whole script, but there is no way it can possibly be not funny
#8252
<HomerHendelBergenHeinzel> ur so mean :L
<q> is that the frowning face of a stroke victim?
#21733
<CommanderStab> <Poppins> lets vote on whether it should be a democracy or not
<CommanderStab> You DID realise how stupid that was before you said it, right? ^_-