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#40087
TechKO: I love my algebra book
TechKO: Q1. (12x4x^2)^6=15
TechKO: solve for y
#310342
< cbreak> if the C++ committee was lead by Microsoft's Excel team... auto would be called car in the english version of C++.
#3201
<Waldo> tool, are you retarded or just an idiot? i need to know if i should just hate you or pity you as well.
<Tool> i think you should hate me
<Waldo> that's a given
<Waldo> i need to know if i should pity you as well.
#51518
<GenericLoser> So in PE today we were asked to name swimming strokes.
<GenericLoser> One of the less intelligent girls in the class responded "doggy style".
#33662
<DimaV> Anglophobia - Fear of Englishness
<DimaV> wow, some one in the world there are people scared of men with huge sideburns who shout "God save the Queen!", drink tea and play cricket.
<joe> i'd be scared if i seen one
#40740
<mohadib> so anyone got any suggestions for a good mysql disaster recovery plan?
<Toxik> mohadib, erm.. you go rm -rf / and then reinstall linux/gentoo r11 with 2.6.8 kernel and install mysqld?
<mohadib> ok so you got the disaster... now how do i recover?
#15913
<Godless1> I didn't see it posted asshole
<StupidAsshole> did you ad hom me, or call me by my name?
#310218
<+kmc> my girlfriend served as an adult control subject for some behavioral research on children
<+kmc> she did live on psych studies for a year yeah
<Jafet> Is there a control protocol where you don't use people who live off being sociology test subjects
#35875
<mog> oops
<mog> in jeopardy, it was like crossword clues D
<mog> or something
<ocean2> what on earth are you talking about
<mog> it was "This anonymous source helped to bring down the Nixon Administration"
<mog> it was deep throat
<mog> but I yelled out Blow Job accidentally
<mog> in front of my mom and sister
<mog> :/
<mog> my mom kicked me off the couch, haha
#301502
Bob: Just got a call from my mother to tell me that my "last remaining uncle died today". I said "last? I thought there were two left?" To which, she said, "Oh, [he] died last month. I thought I told you."
#30430
[PFY] One time at 5:50 I was sitting in my room with my girl and my comp goes "POP" and shuts off.
[risk] lol
[@beast] damn you remembered it to the minute
[PFY] I know the computer store near me closes at 6, so I just straight up and tell me girlfriend, we have to go
[@beast] haha
[risk] hahaha
[@robry] haha
[@robry] ownd
[risk] thats so quoted
#49854
<circusbred> my first time was horrible
<MK|AmericanRetard> lol
<Athlete> my first time was with a bitch of a tease and now i wish i hadn't
<circusbred> i wouldn't wish that on the 'right girl'
<MK|AmericanRetard> ROFL
<Athlete> cus we fucked for like 15 mintues and just as it were getting good
<Athlete> she stopped and started laughing
<MK|AmericanRetard> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<circusbred> ohhh
<Athlete> fuckin bitch
#310054
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome
#31202
<^Fizban^> I had a friend in college that wrote perl poems all the time
<^Fizban^> Guy was nutz
<^Fizban^> our $life = \$love and $togetherness;
<^Fizban^> and: foreach my $sweet (@first) {
<^Fizban^> little: until ($we . $met) { last 'and' }
<^Fizban^> }
<^Fizban^> if ($now . $we) { goto marry; $we . $shall }
<^Fizban^> bless our $life, More;
<osmaker> that's kinda sadish
<^Fizban^> warn "behave";
<^Fizban^> if (ignored) {
<^Fizban^> select paddle;
<^Fizban^> listen (protests, pleading);
<^Fizban^> shift overknee;
<^Fizban^> until (bottom == red) {use paddle};
<^Fizban^> study;
<^Fizban^> require apology;
<^Fizban^> if (no) redo;
#310318
<danh> there is this insanely important insanely crazy suite of perl scripts here
<danh> this guy is here trying to figure out why it doesnt work
<danh> he has a value '7.0.3'
<danh> he keeps calling it a float
<danh> he keeps trying to multiply it
<danh> im looking him up in LDAP
<danh> he's been here for 5 years
<danh> now he's multiplying it by 1 to make it an integer
#299429
< ChOwToo> elle, did you really understand the augmented Turing machine argument the other day in that other channel? Or were you just pretending?
<@elle> what?
* ChOwToo feels relieved
Comment: #VerbalAbuse @ Undernet
#1419
<|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard
#22478
<nicolle14> whats the point of being a techie dork if you don't dload porn?
<MrWabam> someday... my techie dorkness will find a techigodess who is impressed by the size of my hd and want to bang me
<MrWabam> and she'll be real, and hot.... Hotter than my CPU
<nicolle14> What's a "CPU"?
#15213
|MallBrat[essay]| :"I remember the first time I jacked off. I thought I invented it. I looked down at my handful of junk and thought, 'I'm gonna be rich.''
#308523
<@Treeki> "Final Fantasy 13-2" reminds me of European TV channel names
<@Treeki> Spain has a channel named laSexta (theSixth)
<@Treeki> and laSexta2, and laSexta3
<@Treeki> Britain has the Channel 4 network, which has Channel 4, More4, E4 and Film4
<@Treeki> and timeshifted versions: Channel 4+1, More4+1, E4+1 and Film4+1
<@Treeki> they recently launched a new channel, 4seven
<@Treeki> I'm just waiting for 4seven+1 for maximum confusion
#11712
<Podex> AHOY! I SEE THAT THE FAG FLEET IS IN PORT. MY INSULTS AND DISSING SHALL DECIMATE YOU LIKE A VERBAL PEARL HARBOR!
*** Podex was kicked by Chipko (autokick for CAPS LOCK)
#42581
SurrenderUrCow: in my 3rd period
SurrenderUrCow: i stuck a pencil down my pants
Micycle 13: LOL wtf
Micycle 13: why?
SurrenderUrCow: and made it look like i had a massive boner
Micycle 13: ROFL
SurrenderUrCow: then i stood up and walked over to my teacher
Micycle 13: so somebody says "hahah look at k0w poppin a b to the teacher"
SurrenderUrCow: handed her my planner and said as loud as i can, "I HAVE TO GOTO THE BATHROOM!"
Micycle 13: ROFL
SurrenderUrCow: it was so fucking hilarious, the teacher looked up and fell out of her chair
#301159
<stay> have you ever browsed Yahoo Answers religion section?
<stay> i swear
<stay> its where the idea for 4chan came from
#17897
<deh> fuck
<deh> man lead singer of hanson
<deh> fuck shes so hot
#67775
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson