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#27597
<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.
#9220
<jre> A WHORE WAS HAVING A LIQUIDATION SALE
#88600
<tmonk> i always got confused when i was younger and saw magazines
<tmonk> where canadians have different prices
<tmonk> i questioned my father. "if we give equal rights to black people why not canadians too?"
#116735
<TashaCosta> So has anyone seen that anti-drug commercial where the dog tells his teenage owner, a girl "I don't like it when you smoke weed...it changes you...."
<TashaCosta> ?
<tawniteamo> lol I think so
<TashaCosta> Okay, well, does anyone other than me think that's a really ineffective commercial?
<TashaCosta> Because every drug user I know would look at their talking dog and go "Whoa, I bought some really good stuff!"
#62458
<CellularZipper> im gonna 3-way with jessica and maegan tonight
<Soul> take some pictures of them for me
<CellularZipper> ....
<CellularZipper> how do you take pictures over the phone?
#29047
<wangschlong> So i was walking by some house
<wangschlong> and some hot girl was staring at me from the house
<wangschlong> so i go closer and shes still staring at me
<wangschlong> it turns out
<wangschlong> IT WAS A FUCKING LAMP
#361
<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac
#2887
<McMoo> those presents are wrapped like motherfuckers.
<McMoo> like very thoroughly wrapped motherfuckers.
#2752
* aiel wonders why the load on his O2 has passed 3.0
<core> aiel: netscape ?
<xL> aiel: I told you VRML pr0n was a bad idea :)
#3846
<d1cer> omfg
<d1cer> i just shit the bigest shit in the world
<d1cer> :/
<d1cer> it was like a fucking legg
<LivinDead> lol
<LivinDead> how big was it?
<d1cer> umm
<d1cer> k
<d1cer> hold on leme get my ruler
#103108
<Fire_> HAHA
<Fire_> That was classic
<Fire_> My dad looked at my mum when we finished eating, and said "Thanks honey, that was the best you've made all week"
<Fire_> We were eating cereal
<Fire_> Frosties, in particular
<Fire_> I think you had to be there
* Fire_ is away: Blargh
<dev> remind me never to visit your house
#27844
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit
#39051
<xtremeskier> you dont know the alphabet?
<ASM57> i do, i just forgot
<xtremeskier> what grade you in?
<ASM57> 11
<ASM57> i just forgot for a sex
<ASM57> sex
<ASM57> sec
<Telexen> ...yeah he's in 11th grade all right
Comment: #hothardware irc.burghcom.com
#1066
<D1> omg
<D1> christians are knocking at my door
<D1> and they're armed with the holy bible
#8320
<K-Ecchi> SABER DATED A GUY
<Saber> YOU HAVE NO PROOF
<K-Ecchi> YOU TOLD ME
<Saber> I HAVE NO PROOF EITHER
#117559
<BORK> wow
<BORK> my boss just told me to "Open ze portz" in his heavy accent
<45.50> what ports
<BORK> All of them, apparently. He wants everyone to fire up the torrents/P2P and start enjoying work.
<45.50> shit man can i come work for you? where do i send my resume
<BORK> The reason being, is so that in a month
<BORK> he'll be able to boost productivity by like 1000%
<45.50> how?
<BORK> by telling employee's that he'll close their ports again if they don't do some fucking work
<45.50> ...
<45.50> i want my resume back
<BORK> >:)
#55688
<@JustinS> if I wanted to learn more about using Perl for larger programming projects...
<@JustinS> where would I go?
<@Koston> to hell
<@corecode> to a mental hospital?
Comment: #DragonFlyBSD @ efnet
#11368
<+ChiMP> WHATS GAYER THAN ME AND STARTS WITH AN N!!?!?
<@miz> nothing
<@miz> :o
#66436
<Wax_on_whack_off> men, my roommate had a fierce seizure in the bathtub
<iris23> that's really sad to hear, did you help him? Is he okay now?
<Wax_on_whack_off> he helped me actually
<iris23> ?
<Wax_on_whack_off> I threw in my dirty clothes... they are clean now
<iris23> you utter bastard!!!! that's not funny!!! >:(
#147598
<Smokey> there's a pizza hut down the street from here, but it's across state border so they won't deliver it
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
#245406
<gabe> mozilla and this java chat seem to hate each other
<gabe> maybe it will be better on IE
<gabe> fingers crossed
<Xyzyxx> gabe, you should download a real IRC client
<gabe> yeah. and get a virus? no thanks
<Xyzyxx> irc clients don't usually come with viruses :P
<gabe> zonealarm would beg to differ
#30376
<ThunderClaw> God dammit, my eyes...
<Lizking> dont worry ThunderClaw, soon, you'll be broken in
<Lizking> and this wont disturb you as much
<ThunderClaw> You know,
<ThunderClaw> this is the same reason I don't go looking at goatse.
<ThunderClaw> MY LIFE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT THESE MENTAL IMAGES, THANKS.
#1988
<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph
#18174
<netmunky> i just ate
<orange1> he says as he returns from the bathroom
#37696
<Syntax[AA]> can you ping flood 69.169.219.59 for me?
<Daniel> That my IP..
<Syntax[AA]> shit!