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#16997
<Whooey> females jeans pockets are TINY
<Whooey> TTIIIIIIIIIINY
<Natasha> yes, they are
<amit> Whooey: females have a big flesh pocket to compensate
#8492
<KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*)
<KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all.
<Bayls> KK - What's your speech?
<KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end"
<KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.
#19386
<Kr1sten> I lost my virginity last night
<[zT]Lunchie> Oh shit! Get it back! You have to find!!!
<[zT]Lunchie> I'll look in the car, you look by the sofa.
<Kr1sten> You are such an ass.
#43098
* Beska changes topic to 'next one to change the topic is gya'
* Beska changes topic to 'next one to change the topic is gay'
#39529
<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating
<Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened
<Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table"
<Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..."
<Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha
<Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time
<Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting.
#667
<Chis> anyone experienced with shavers?
<Chis> i need to get one on ebay)
<Chis> http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?MfcISAPICommand=GetResult&ht=1&SortProperty=MetaEndSort&query=electric+shaver
<Spidey> dude
<Spidey> just go to the damn store
#56459
<@the_unknown> watching the history channel, tis a show on "the antichrist"
<@the_unknown> just went to a commericial break with the messag
<@the_unknown> message
<@the_unknown> "The antichrist is brought to you by Lexus"
<@bockman> haha
#116801
<@Foxhill> apparently when you piss in the sink, good etiquette says you're sposed to lift the plates up first
#52438
<Anagon> me,mimi and aaron drinking outside pub
<Anagon> girl comes over selling LED pendants
<Anagon> asks if i wanted to buy one for my girlfriend
<Anagon> "she's worth a pound fifty isn't she?"
<Anagon> and i hate getting heckled, specially using a girl against me
<Anagon> so i replied "i dunno.. how about 1 pound forty nine?"
<Anagon> managed to piss them both off at once ;p
<_Mj> lol
* Anagon got her it in the end
#2413
<myhero> I think this is what I wanted to say, or something like this
<myhero> how about making a holiday the opposite of thanksgiving
<myhero> where your a bitch and hate everything in the world for one day
<myhero> that's what I did today
<myhero> it felt great
<Tik-Tok> that doesn't need to be a holiday
<Tik-Tok> most people are like that day to day
<myhero> yeah maybe
<myhero> well on this holiday, how about people try just a little bit harder to hate people
<myhero> ya know, in the spirit of the holiday
<myhero> hate people a little bit more
#19076
<Seaker> I just ate supper and then puked it up straight away, does that mean I'm balemic or whatever?
<Safire> Could be, you seen a doctor about it?
<Seaker> Wait, it was McDonalds.. does it still count.
<Safire> Oh ok no I think that's normal
#295487
<gutupio> My dog has figured out you open the door by turning the handle.
<gutupio> He's trying to open the door now.
<gutupio> I'm afraid his ancestors might be raptors.
#53567
<dban> so i just saw a commercial for some company that helps people file for bankruptcy (no money down!)
<dban> and i'm thinking, yeah, great idea
<dban> but don't be surprised if you have trouble getting them to pay you
#40937
<t|to> what qdb.us really needs is a "vote negative on all" quotes button for the queue
#10401
<DaveCBio> Man, if drama could be harnassed as a power source the world
would be lit up forever
#16734
ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now
#32633
<fred> sorry if i disappointed you, people have told me my penis is small before
<fred> FUCK WRONG WINDOW SHIT FUCK BALLS
<fred> if any of you bastards send that to bash ill kill you
#15424
<ZondrZout> You sloppy ASP coders!
<Xtreee> ZondrZout, I am @ the stage where I am happy when my code works :)
<ZondrZout> My boss is at the stage where he's happy when I work
#302087
<pokoko222> are you guys allowed graphing calculators on exams?
<amine> no
* Kage is
* dx is not
<pokoko222> why i dont get it
<pokoko222> it is dumb
<dx> It depends on the exam
<pokoko222> why waste time finding 6 points when i can just push a button
<lament> that's my perspective on foreplay
#5603
<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
#32784
<ducklord> that article is too long
<ducklord> as a child of the 90s I demand someone makes a summary of it
<ducklord> preferably containg the words "computer" and "hot chicks"
#1663
<goltrpoat> 'britney spears' is an anagram for 'presbyterians.'
#37696
<Syntax[AA]> can you ping flood 69.169.219.59 for me?
<Daniel> That my IP..
<Syntax[AA]> shit!
#232968
<Trinexx> I had a hard drive that was rattling like hell once. Me, being stupid with hardware at the time, unscrewed it and booted the computer
<Trinexx> the drive lept out of the drive bay and bounced around in the case.
<Trinexx> Needless to say, I ended up replacing more than just the hard drive -_-
#1380
[josho] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[josho] i think my maid was fondeling me
[josho] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"
[josho] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[josho] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[josho] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs