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#305714
<RAMPKORV> During the days of Yahoo IM, I added a guy randomly, then started spamming him with PENIS
<RAMPKORV> Appearantly, I did it exactly when he was doing a presentation for work
<fusion2004> gahaha
<RAMPKORV> and he replied 15 minutes later and was pretty angry
#61850
<mr_flea> that and i think i tried to swallow something way too large for my throat when i was attempting to eat a fajita at a rate it was not designed to be eaten >.>
<mr_flea> thank god i don't have to get some sort of operation
* mr_flea painfully drinks more dr. pepper
<Ushanka> Flea, you might not take this really seriously, but I really hope you don't die
<Ushanka> It would suck to have "Cause of death: Fajitas" written on your death certificate
#45418
<dil_dil> Seriously, I had mice as pets when I was a kid. Eventually, a LOT of mice. So I built a cage so I could separate the males and females. That's about when I learned you don't build a mouse cage out of particle board...
<dil_dil> After they chewed their way out of the cage, I'd hear my mother screaming in the middle of the night as they climbed up the curtains in her bedroom.
#8018
<syncretic> whats the best program for capping tv
<JtHM> Handgun v2.4b
#7849
<FadeJade> On the news tonight "SHOULD AIRLINE PASSENGERS BE MADE TO BUY TWO TICKETS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE OVERWEIGHT?!"
<FadeJade> Fuck yeah
<Phuser> hell yes
<FadeJade> Business, Economy or Fatty?
<FadeJade> I'll fly Fatty today, thanks
#55588
aishiteiru: So, I'm making a cake for my gf for valentine's day, right?
aishiteiru: Anyway... I start talking about how the smell is filling the house
aishiteiru: and it's making me hungry
aishiteiru: and then she asks what I'm making
aishiteiru: but I don't want to tell her, it's a surprise, right?
aishiteiru: so I say the first thing off the top of my head.
aishiteiru: "Chocolate boobies."
aishiteiru: She believed me.
aishiteiru: So then I started going on about how I was going to fill it with vanilla frosting
aishiteiru: and wondering about the logistics of attaching the nipple
aishiteiru: she COMPLETELY believed it all
aishiteiru: and she was freaking about it
aishiteiru: then I did that old line
aishiteiru: "...Hey? Did you know that gullible isn't in the dictionary?"
aishiteiru: she got it at that point.
aishiteiru: Cake mix: $4.
aishiteiru: Frosting: $5.
aishiteiru: Convincing your girlfriend that you're making a chocolate boobie:
aishiteiru: Priceless.
#53240
<DaFool> i just bought a chip for my car from ebay...i fucking bought like 5 things off the guy and he was supposed to send the chip but jus sent a cd
<LinuxFox> how much did it cost?
<DaFool> it was only 20 bucks with shipping but still wtf he made like 500 bucks off me already
<LinuxFox> people dont understand EBAY ...you send money for a item..and if they dont send it all ebay can do is close down their store or their account and you can leave a negative remark lol NO CONSEQUENSES!
<DaFool> well the only thing i dont get is that on the cd all it is is a video of a guy laughing holding a 20 up close :/
<DaFool> who the fuck would buy that?
<Lemmiwinks> you seriously dont see where this is going?
#310281
<Krrrlson> racist joke?
<+GIR> What do white people and black people have in common? They both seem okay over here'
<Krrrlson> this isn't racist at all
<bp> yeah that's like the opposite of racist
<tacodog> that actually made me feel pretty good
#9399
<Ragnarok> i kinda like that
<Ragnarok> i dig the natural look
<haole> then you'll be quite pleased with her crotch afro
<haole> it looks like a 70s blaxploitation extra
#310881
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
#2385
<Kazz> Are you coming on to me?
<Dregan> With a spelling change.
<Dregan> And perhaps without the 'to'.
#2991
<Lord-Data> chmod 777 is the kinda thing i do on my own personal box when i cant be fucked figureing out what the perm's SHOULD be
<Lord-Data> which is, sadly, most of the time
#7264
<Tigrrr> I cook food in my oven.
<Tigrrr> i like food.
<edoc> I gas puppies in mine
<Tigrrr> mmmmmm puppies
#308160
<Sebas> Someone I deliver post to is called P. Margarita
<Sebas> I hope her first name is Pizza
#50186
<Bjarni> <rhyswynne> can you overclock a vibrator?
<Naksu> i doubt a vibrator has a clock
<Bjarni> I guess they are a simple DC engine, which moves some gears, which moves some weight back and forth in a specific motion
<Bjarni> it would actually not be hard to build
* Bjarni images people starting to try to build their own ones after that statement
<blathijs> only geeks can describe a vibrator using words like "DC", "gears" and "motion" :-)
<Bjarni> welcome to my world
<GeniusDex> Bjarni: is it bad that women start to speak about their vibrator speeds once i pasted your comment about the technical workings?
#28890
<PRoWoRK> i like my vagina!
<[Piratez]> o.o
<PRoWoRK> ...sorry...
<[Piratez]> pro, this is the part where u type 'wrong chan'
#4659
<Kyle|> im making a SHELL for WINDOWS that LOOKS and FEELS like the REAL STANDALONE OS THAT WILL BE DONE NOT SOON!
<Urganite> what you mean to tell me
<Urganite> is that you're going to create a windows program
<Urganite> that just looks like what you want your OS to be?
<Urganite> ...
<Urganite> that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life
<Peasant> Someone should make a DHTML OS
<Kyle|> peasant: dont give me ideas
#33761
<Shav|DDR> Gonna meet a friend I haven't seen in months
<Mayseth> The sun?
#6438
<shev> Efnet needs to get mIRC to include an air raid siren wav file, and play it when there's a server hack
#5415
<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch it twice tho
#297300
<Fax> TAKE OFF YOUR TOP STOP
<Fax> OH YEAH THAT IS SO HOT STOP
<Fax> You can see why telegraph sex never caught on
<NEO|Phyte> what do they do if they need to include the word stop in their message?
<Arang> DON'T STOP PLEASE STOP
<XiaoTie> STOP STOP
<Star-Sacred> HARDER STOP
#5597
<Elfin> lkmwclldsldldldldldld,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,e
,e,e,e,,,,eee,e,olwowowoowolsalslslsllslslslslslslllsllsllsllslls lsls
<Elfin> That was me playing keyboard drums.
<memo> Rock on.
<Elfin> You know it.
#38174
<+nemnock> yo imagine if electric cars could harness the power of lightning
<+nemnock> they would be faster than gasoline cars
<@Justinian> ...
<@SonicVIBE> nemnock
<@m0rn> hehe
<@SonicVIBE> shut your face.
<@Justinian> seriously
<+nemnock> hahaa
<+nemnock> lightning would be like a shot of nos
<@Justinian> that's in contention for the dumbest thing ever said in here
Comment: Par for the course folks.
#20476
<FucKFace> well, im off to go meet my girlfriends husband
#14686
<pKx> My car was running without the battery installed.. man, the alternator was spilling amps all over my driveway
<pKx> how do you clean that shit up?
<`72`Monte> lol pkx :>
<spazzer> i usually use a dirty sock
<spazzer> oh
<spazzer> wrong topic