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#9291
<jre> I wouldn't eat dolphin. I refuse to eat anything smarter than me. Which is why I abstain from broccoli.
<AmbushBug> I would love to only eat things smarter than me.
<AmbushBug> ...
<AmbushBug> I assume the silence is all of you standing agape at the opening i left for all of you.
<jre> Ambush: It's too predictible. We want originality in our comedy.
<jre> ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
#19981
<thx1138> macintosh rackmount servers running bsd?
* thx1138 looks around for flying cars
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#26404
<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B
#77682
<mr_flea> i read the headline of that article as "scientists develop neural breast implants"
<mr_flea> then i started wondering if they could be enlarged at the user's will
<mr_flea> which led me to thinking about those cars with hydraulic suspension
<mr_flea> "pimp my rack"
#56977
<evilAdmin> WTF!
<evilAdmin> Me and some co-workers saw V for Vendetta on Friday. One of my friends is completly obsessed with the movie.
<evilAdmin> So my buddy is missing today. He does the Unix and Linux shit in the office (I do hardware).
<evilAdmin> Then a white fuckin' van shows up mid 3PM that says "FOR YOUR PROTECTION" on the back. Some dude with a complete Guy Fawkes costume and mask hopes out, complete with boots, cape, tophat, (presumably) fake knifes, and a V Mask. Everyone is like "WTF!?1111!".
<evilAdmin> Dude comes upstairs and has "SYS V" printed on his back and "V SYS" on the front. He starts handing out floppies with AT&T System V (5) Unix on them. Doesn't say a fucking word. Everyone is clueless. The guy handed out like 300 floppies and nobody knows what to do with them.
<evilAdmin> Then he hops back into his white fan and drives away.
<evilAdmin> WTF???
#302724
<Polynomial> Ikea: The WinRAR of the furniture world.
#307245
<Lastair> japanese cosmo
<Lastair> 10 hot sex tips!
<Lastair> tips 1-10: whimper like you're being raped
#11485
<jre> I know how to end racism. It involves a lot of fucking.
<egg> 1st ANNUAL ORGY TO END RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
<Idiotsavant> Usher in the vaunted age of syphilis
#36885
<SteveB> did you ever hear of this thing...called "school"
<SteveB> you know, how it takes up your time and stuff..
<linolium> yeah... that's one thing
<linolium> :S
<linolium> but... at least i dont have a social life to stand in my way!
#304488
<octdave> i need to poop and eat
<octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping?
<octdave> I might try that, to save time
<officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet
<officer_falcon> take out the middle man
#120835
<smxsy> 'i have forwarded this to the management team' = 'i have already deleted your email whilst wiping the tears of sadistic laughter from my eyes. thank you for contacting comcast customer support'
#45903
<thinman> we should start a compy porn site, with pictures of computers with their covers off
<@joseph> haha
<@joseph> like furniture porn
<thinman> Choose your fetish: x86 + x86 : x86 + PowerPC : x86 with RAIDs : RAIDs on RAIDs : Macs with two mouse buttons : Barely legal Laptops : Dirty Printer Stories : x86's with DUAL 22" Monitors! : HUGE Floppy insertions : Role Play
Comment: #filter on SlashNET
#49854
<circusbred> my first time was horrible
<MK|AmericanRetard> lol
<Athlete> my first time was with a bitch of a tease and now i wish i hadn't
<circusbred> i wouldn't wish that on the 'right girl'
<MK|AmericanRetard> ROFL
<Athlete> cus we fucked for like 15 mintues and just as it were getting good
<Athlete> she stopped and started laughing
<MK|AmericanRetard> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<circusbred> ohhh
<Athlete> fuckin bitch
#44435
* Neitokun wanders around looking for something to do * maybe i'll just go into the *gasp* real world... <<
<Neitokun> nevermind, theres a new story coming up on slashdot.
<Neitokun> ... >< did i seriously just say that?
<Doc_Shinryuu> Yes, you did. :D
<Neitokun> damnit.
#32468
--- irc.freenode.net has changed the topic to: WELCOME TO FREENODE. THAT'S NOT MAYONNAISE.
#141217
<AgentRenegade> you know you spend too much time on your computer when you watch a clip of a website on the news, and instead of looking at the website itself, you focus on the fact that the station uses Firefox..
#301224
<Arang> I hate when I have to turn off a computer by holding the power button
<Arang> it just feels way too visceral
<Arang> like I'm holding a pillow over its head
<Arang> "ARANG WHYYYGHGHGHBLGBHGBL"
<Arang> "mfff mfffffff"
<Fax> *windows sound*
#60788
<Haohmaru77> a woman enters a vibrators shop,
<Haohmaru77> and shes all excited
<Haohmaru77> so she asks the vendor
<Haohmaru77> "do you sell vibrators?"
<Haohmaru77> and the guys like "yes"
<Haohmaru77> so the girl asks
<Haohmaru77> "do you know how they work?"
<Haohmaru77> and the guys like "yes"
<ichi_nii_san> .....
<Haohmaru77> so the girl, all excited, asks
<Haohmaru77> "could you tell me how to turn it off?"
#145960
Reiver: How fast are the taps?
Mango: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
Mango: about that fast
#44206
[WhipSmart] how has humanity lasted this long..?
[Mordenkainen] because sharks can't walk
Comment: Quakenet #funchat
#14826
<^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
<^Matt^> :/
<Windogg> doh
<^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
<^Matt^> like this was the one
<^Matt^> :)
<Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the one" I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started sweating, and I got all weak
<Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers
#63631
<chief> What other city does uk have apart from england
#3689
<Valathar> No matter how depressed you are.... there is NOTHING that can't be fixed by titties.
#280190
cached: you think it's a bad sign if a memory test says that the number of errors was -8?