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#539
<BobDole> i'm not the real bob dole
<BobDole> but.. i'm just on this nick
<T`karthon> ohh
<Nija_work> had me fooled
<T`karthon> thanks for clearing that up for us
#307532
<hegemonicon> Is there a rule34 equivalent to science fiction: "If an idea exist someone has written a sci-fi story about it"?
<dontmindme> wouldn't rule 34 contain such rule?
<hegemonicon> Ah so sort of like "What if a spaceship found a planet made of solid gold? Oh, someone wrote a story about that, also there's fucking".
<dontmindme> exactly
#178044
<@tesko> the bartendress at the strip club i went to said the champaign room cost $100 for 15 minutes
<@tesko> i immediately said "i can't last 15 minutes"
#25604
<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot
#2952
<nstylz> i want to make a site that the people run it and then just forget about it and watch the $ go in
<Deadbolt> sorry, we already have a slashdot
#12027
<Dreadnaut> i used to write poems about suicide and shit
<KrON> i did poems about cheese and stuff
#210496
<Menacer> You'll either need to look in your owner's manual (or the aftermarket stereo manual) or pull the radio out and look.
<Tain> hmm ok
<Menacer> unless the aux ports are front-mounted, of course.
<Tain> menacer: it's under the thing you pull out that's all metal and when you put it on your skin it hurts
<Cpl_Ethane> tain: that's called a "cigarette lighter"
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#45577
<Thrashmeister> if a piano player is called a pianist, then why isnt a racecar driver called a racist?
Comment: #dyo, irc.mediadriven.net
#104302
<Gerrit> Cannot join #real-life (Banned)
#56782
boudi24: what do u use to protect ur computer from all kinds of viruses and adwares and spywares and pop ups...
boudi24: ?
metsoc30: common sense mostly
boudi24: what's that ?
boudi24: is it a program ?
#15166
[][ceman] I get mine from the fact that for the first 2 weeks of playing CS I didnt; know you could buy rifles
[][ceman] I thought they were scattered on the ground and that people kept picking them up before me
#12112
<zfact0r> I was playing Monopoly last night when I was drunk and I paid a chick 500 bucks in Monopoly Money for a blowjob.
#39214
<The_GGA> But ninjas never lose a fight. They just don't.
<desplesda> what if you've got two teams of ninjas fighting each other? who wins then?
<The_GGA> The ninjas.
<desplesda> you make a good point
#52635
<@r0bby> you suck all of you
<+mite\> * [r0bby] +#gaygeeks #bimb0 @+#queers @#efnut #psychotic @#asexual #gaypeople +#M-a-t-h
<+mite\> apparently you do too
Comment: #efnut [at] efnet
#2084
<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you don't let it out of its room.
#29061
<Dilandou> more than you'd like to know happens on wednesdays
<Vorex> such as?
<Vorex> :P
* netnomad (netnomad@WyldRyde-3A3619AF.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined #lockergnome
<Dilandou> i wear eye liner and nail paint
<Dilandou> and i'm known as dilandria
* netnomad is so happy his log was open to capture that.
#6748
<josh> usually when guys shoow me their penises I try and fondle them
<penney> whoa josh
<penney> are you gay?
<josh> no, I'm just friendly
#18202
<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge
#297184
<roxylucy> omg did i tell you what embarrassing thing happened to me the other day?
<hedgab> not that i know of
<roxylucy> ok. well, i was visiting my friend in the hospital
<hedgab> yeah
<roxylucy> and so i was leaving
<roxylucy> but in the next room, i noticed a man covered in machinery, shivering.
<roxylucy> and i thought that was sad, so i pulled the blanket up for him
<roxylucy> and, with his breathing mask on, says, "can you see if my testicles are black"
<hedgab> omg really?
<roxylucy> i tried to decline, but he looked so frail and desperate
<roxylucy> so i checked to make sure no one was looking
<roxylucy> and i looked at it and it was just fine
<hedgab> haha ok
<roxylucy> so i was like, "nope, none of it is black"
<roxylucy> and he takes off his mask and says, "can you see if my test results are back"
#28293
<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just like to play there and lick all that is avilable down under. Will u allow me under? i Know u want me under ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas....
#154850
<@Genesis`> Dr Phil said: Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
<@Genesis`> i cant bend over that far :(
#40995
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION"
#21828
<ash|revising> logs are for beavers
#36719
<%sketchataki> i biked to the beach today...hung out with a hott chick...biked back... xD long bike ride but i got a phone number...
<&James_> how old was she?
<%sketchataki> 87
Comment: Extract from #HPHC on irc.halca.org
#183648
<Colin> Am I the only one who doesn't find the "your mom" business funny, by the way?
<Colin> as a parody of poor insults it might have been funny
<Colin> three years ago
<Colin> but you have been doing it for literally years now :P
<Asimir> I've been doing your mom for literally years now