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#50149
<Jason> And... the test is finished.
<Tristal> What was the test, "Can I drink this fifth of Jack Daniels in under 3 minutes?"
<Tristal> Because I noticed you cramming really hard before the exam

#8268
<Grinderwald> my dick is hard
<moo|cow> always a bowl of wisdom grinder
<Grinderwald> :D

#61619
<@hkyhds> terminal is playing: Rage Against the Machine - Bullet in the Head (01:56/05:09)
<+Jimmothy> ::: #geekissues - We Don't Give A Fuck (About Your Shit Taste Mix) : 00:09 : 167kbps : Untitled CDS : 2006 :::

#301998
<Sohcahtoa> Why are you so obsessed with the size of my penis?
<Sohcahtoa> Do you really want to know how big it is?  Fine I'll tell you.
* Quits: Sohcahtoa (Excess Flood)

#40409
elvira_> i told my psychiatrist that i was feeling suicidal, now he wants me to pay on a cash up front basis

#299
<Guilty> Dont you know, if theres a hot white chick on a show, she invariably ends up with the "sweet, but rugged" black thug
<Guilty> It's an FCC regulation

#237793
JZarnecki: So I hooked up with a girl for the first time in like a year.  She wasn't anything great to look at, but I'll take what I can get.
JZarnecki: Her occupation was USPS delivery.
JZarnecki: We eventually get down to business and I'm fucked up drunk and wearing a condom, but still manage to cum almost immediately because it had been so long.  I pumped like 8 times it was terrible.  She was pissed
JZarnecki: Anyways, the next day when i wake up shes already gone and i shit you not, there is a "Failure to Deliver" notice from her stuck on my door.
EJAYwarrior42: Give me her new number, I need to invite her to the league of internet superheroes.

#26279
<Hatter> I accidentally just IM'd a coworker "Dong lunch?" instead of "Doing lunch?" :?

#28325
<Net Force7000> I am the Matrix.
<ChixLoveUnix> int joey[5][3];
<ChixLoveUnix> No, I am the matrix.
Comment: C++ humour.

#19356
X25 subnet: you know what i realized as i was rebooting
X25 subnet: if it wasn't for the yellow light bulb and his daily tips
X25 subnet: i wouldn't know shit about computers

#2847
*** mr_bill has changed the topic on channel #unix to Kids in the back seat cause accidents.  Accidents in the backseat cause kids.
*** mr_bill has changed the topic on channel #unix to oops, wrong channel

#305511
<thelilnevshow> DAAMMN RIGHT PROUD&#65279; TO BE CANADIAN! im so canadian even my blood cells are red and white !

#15791
<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the keyboard on the way down.

#4758
<Navaash> SHIT-FUCKING ASSLICKING ELECTROPLATED BLACK JESUS CHRIST ON AN ELECTRIC MOPED
<mightyflo> times 7.6
<FlipTopBox> squared
<FlipTopBox> with a cherry on top.
<mightyflo> plus alpha!
<FlipTopBox> for matching service

#6689
<FatElvis> The only that comes from Texas are steers and...
<josh> ... Jews?

#104003
<Aoi-chan> everyone's first vi session. ^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat

#33204
<Badtz> oh hell.
<Badtz> I got something japanese subtitled in spanish.
<Badtz> and the glutton I am, I'll watch it anyway.
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet

#4521
<Anton> 8mm is a good film as well, but I'm puzzled as to why nicolas cage never got arrested for murder
<Alexander> hes just an actor
<Waldo> damn!
<Alexander> it wasn't real

#300909
Actual Chris: facebook is telling me to write on your wall too
Chaos: wow
Chaos: fuck you facebook
Chaos: everyone knows I'm pathetic just leave it be
Actual Chris: haha
Chaos: "hey, make sure this guy doesn't kill himself okay"

#210468
<&fuqinfruit> Huggie: My mother cleans her vibrators in the Dishwasher and she doesnt think i know. Its disgusting and i hate it.
<&fuqinfruit> oops wrong chan

#58745
<Omi> I owned someone at work today
<Xa> How'd you manage that?
<Omi> He was pratting about chasing after the girls
<Omi> 'Cause he's a fucktard like that
<Omi> But he took his shoes off so he wouldnt make loud noises
<Omi> Which would attract the boss's attention
<Omi> So I nailed his shoes to the floor
<Xa> Rofl
<Omi> Someone said the boss was coming
<Omi> So he sprinted back to his shoes
<Omi> Jumped in them
<Omi> And then fell on his face when he tried to walk forward

#139795
[+Tarball] ITT: Movie titles that described your first sexual experience.
[+Tarball] THERE WILL BE BLOOD
[+Timmy] lmao
[+Tarball] Gone in 60 seconds
[+Hatty] SNAKES ON A PLANE
[TheWickerMan] quiet down Hatty
[TheWickerMan] why don't you try HOME ALONE

#12041
<tarmac> HWO THE RUCK DO I GET THE STUPID ASS FUCKIN PAPER CLIP
<tarmac> TO GO AWAY

#2472
<ArAgOn__> Dyckert: If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?

#63281
<+syc> a lady having problems burning dvd's
<infralite> infra`: die
<+syc> in her cd-rw
<+syc> she said she keeps putting them in, and it keeps asking for more
<stutter_> syc: do you do support for non-clients of yours?
<+Two9A> huhu
<+syc> i guess nero says 'please insert a disc with enough space blah blah blah'
<+syc> so she she kept putting one after another into the drive
<+syc> until the door wouldn't open anymore

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