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#94993
LadyNikon: they did this one cake
LadyNikon: that was a lifesize drum set
blind: I bet it sounded terrible.
#26431
<snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and stuff
<taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
<grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
<grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port, please supply me with another"
<snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck your self
#43394
<hman> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
<hman> Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large
<hman> elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, but absolutely no
<hman> recollection of what to do with them.
#33294
<jessie> I'm going to put on my skimpiest maternity outfit and go bar hopping.
Comment: #fark on irc.irvingnet.net
#65
<LEONARDO> EMINEM < PUBERTY
#31880
<splice> he makes me laugh, i have no problem with him
<splice> and he pisses people off, i can respect that
#34686
<Guyver3> wow
<Guyver3> you get a cubicle
<Guyver3> i sit in an open room with no walls
<Guyver3> and a lot of desks
<Guyver3> like a secretary pool circa the 50s
<Guyver3> its called the NOC
<Guyver3> but marketing sits in there too
<Guyver3> and the door is always open, so customers can walk in and out with our tools and bug the shit out of us :)
<Guyver3> but hey
<Guyver3> at least we host porn
<Guyver3> ....
#19123
<bec> whats the temperature up there in canada?
<Jonathan`> it's about 34 celcius right now
<bec> Really? Here we go by degrees its 87 here
<Jonathan`> Holy fuck lol! you americans
#13923
<djamok> wb justin
<JFlex> wb yourself, mother fucker.
<JFlex> Oh, welcome back, I get it.
#11009
<Mae|str0m> fuckensonofabitchdamnitalltohellfuckmedeadbastardofaprick.
<Mae|str0m> I just dropped a weight on my foot.
<Mae|str0m> FUCK.
<Mae|str0m> they should make those things lighter.
#303201
GrawSith> I need a bunch of mannequin feet to store my socks on, so when i get them they're already stretchy and nice
#43260
<DC_daNMan> :S My PC has just decided to just stop the moniter out put.. for some reason
<DC_daNMan> I cant make it display again..
<mikeshoup> Are you on IRC right now with it?
<DC_daNMan> Yes, I'm typing blindly.
#8023
<kt> i need a job, badly.
<kt> maybe i should hang out with some black people
<kt> i mean go to the unemployment office.
#7064
<Staberinde> The worst of the bunch was this
* Staberinde points at his crotch
<Staberinde> "Ya know this thing isn't going to blow itself!"
<CrashCat> it will if you wire it with explosives
<Staberinde> Well yes, but that's only when the zombies are near
#31859
«TrueBlue» Talking to your sister or another female relative of the same intelligence would result in both of you staring at a box of Orange Juice because it said "Concentrate".
#73523
<Kai> the impetus to get out of bed and go for a piss is immense right now.
<Kai> oooh, a coke bottle....
#3465
<f9|war3beta> These Mint Skittles taste like shit.
<Brentai> MINT SKITTLES?
<JDigital> f9: Tell me about it. Over here, we call the green ones "Excre-mint".
<JDigital> Alternatively known as "New car smell" flavour.
#8448
<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper management
#261856
<Bobsentme> So, at work, HR decided to put up signs with some of the classic monsters (Frankenstein, The Mummy, Wolfman, etc) and slogans like "You'll get wrapped up in reading blah, blah, blah" and "Reading is electrifying" for halloween
<Bobsentme> Well, apparently, they also decided to put up, on the wall outside the cafeteria a whole timeline of GLBT contributions throughout history
<Bobsentme> GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered.
<Bobsentme> So, as I'm walking down the hall, I look over at the GLBT wall, not really paying a lot of attention, until I get to the end...
<Bobsentme> Where someone had placed one of the HR halloween signs, with the Boogeyman on it, that read "Have you checked YOUR closet lately?"
#241911
<mokeylace>: I like to do a breakdown of how much time I spend every day fucking off on certain activities, and how much this correspondingly costs my company
<mokeylace>: for instance, it just cost my employers $37 for me to trim my fingernails
<mokeylace>: earlier it cost them $75 for me to read some webcomics
<GL>: hahaha
<mokeylace>: I'm hoping that when I submit my findings they'll find it wise to hire someone to scratch my nuts for me in the next budget period
<mokeylace>: marc are you still looking for a job?
<JukeboxHero>: always am
<JukeboxHero>: wait what
<Eric_>: lol
<JukeboxHero>: That's not fair I wasn't paying attention FUCK YOU ERIC
#3817
<JackDaiLo> i need to learn how to sing chinese angry music
#305324
<Pomax> 20 years from now, someone is going to have the radical idea to give users access to the underlying OS, rather than to the browser API, and he will be heralded a revolutionary.
<Pomax> All manner of programming languages will pop up that work outside "the browser", giving access to "offline" applications, storing files in "user space", even perhaps running in something called "kernel mode".
<Pomax> It'll be a brave new world.
<Mirell> It's scary that's believable.
#24238
'mouth: Channel Spike Lee and shit'll really hit the fan.
Mach5: Okay, in this scene, you're approached by a crackhead who's offering you a blowjob in exchange for money to buy a cheeseburger.
Mach5: And, action.
'mouth: I immediately run and go home to comfort my inner turmoil with a crack pipe.
Mach5: Cut. You're hopeless.
'mouth: Up yours. I'm an artist.
Mach5: Wait, I'll channel Paul Verhoeven.
Mach5: In this scene, you're approached by a crackhead, who is subsequently beatdown by a threesome of busty, lusty bisexuals, who proceed to offer you a blowjob in exchange for a cheeseburger.
'mouth: Are we digging for bash material or cybering at this point?
Mach5: I've lost track. A/S/L?
#16802
<NobleKale> old friend emails me with 'I have two special consideration exams next week. what do I study for them?'
<NobleKale> my reply: 'RTFM'
#11906
<ima`> www.google.com
<boy_scout> Open up fucking IE you lazy bastard
<ima`> i don't know how to open IE any other way