Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#50180
<DangerousCurves> man
<DangerousCurves> now i wanna go into a store
<DangerousCurves> and buy a pregnancy test
<DangerousCurves> then come back in 5 mins and buy some wire coathangers
#416
<McAnarchy> people live in utah??
#302291
<TwoPointOh> ZenGwen: do you get easily offended by references to 9/11?
<ZenGwen> no
<TwoPointOh> okay
<TwoPointOh> i had a great idea for a t-shirt
#45859
<kFraction> if only there was a captial "."
<sirukin> a capital period eh?
<sirukin> I'm not sure the females would enjoy that.
#8511
<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i pray
#310842
<maime> That means nothing to a card carrying makeup whore.
<TheEnigma> You carry a card that says "Makeup Whore" on it?
<maime> No but I like to call myself a card carrying makeup whore when the occassion arises.
<maime> Its difficult to explain.
<TheEnigma> Like right now, for instance.
<maime> Exactly
#27951
<fr30n> so you married
<fr30n> a pregnant woman?? man.. that's like putting gas in a car you've
<fr30n> already wrecked.. what's wrong with you.
#8457
<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)
#299702
< adamkuj> are there any good open source tools for working with Access DB's (mdb files)?
<@Dopey> rm
Comment: #evilgeeks
#673
<makeworld> ICQ scared the shit outta me
<makeworld> walked into my pitch dark room and hear a knocking noise, sounded
like someone knocking on my window
<makeworld> shit
#26420
vupat03: oh well, i should start getting ready for bed
Gig103: does that mean "a quick game of bf"
vupat03: i'm gonna try BF quick on here with the additional memory
vupat03: wow
Gig103: LOL OMG i was kidding
vupat03: that was sad
#670
<Johnno> wouldnt it be cool if there was a cow that had a door on it's side, that when you opened it up, it produced nummmy pie
<wonko> that's a good idea! hold on while I round up some venture capital...
#5304
<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'
#309152
TheEnd. : I hate my job, too boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : I hated my last job
JimmyKillsAlot : I worked for this call center for the board of education
JimmyKillsAlot : we managed servers and helped teachers all over the state
JimmyKillsAlot : like teaching approved sites and keeping them certified
TheEnd. : Sounds boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : it was
JimmyKillsAlot : and always buggy, people couldn't register and had to call us
JimmyKillsAlot : and when we made the account the username was based off of first name, last name, and a random number
JimmyKillsAlot : one day this woman calls and we go through the motions to make her an account
JimmyKillsAlot : when the info pops up
JimmyKillsAlot : I had to keep a straight face as I told Irene that her username was IMaho247
JimmyKillsAlot : my boss had to put the lines on hold for 5 min until the laughing stopped
#299616
xplicitbruno: can someone tell me whats wrong with this : $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"
Mango: Missing semicolon.
xplicitbruno: Mango can u tell me where exactly or just correct the line i typed above ( i am new at this so dont know much yet )
Mango: At the end of the line.
xplicitbruno: like this
xplicitbruno: $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"]
Mango: Oh, wow. I don't know what to say to that one
Mango: I was going to give you the link to a page of PHP tips for newbies but I think you may need more help than I can offer.
#295487
<gutupio> My dog has figured out you open the door by turning the handle.
<gutupio> He's trying to open the door now.
<gutupio> I'm afraid his ancestors might be raptors.
#2052
* Arsentia pets his cable modem
* [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups and string.
* PresWRK cuts Arse's modem
* Arsentia cuts Toby's string
*** Quits: [Toby] (...)
<Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :)
<[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string.
<[Toby]> Schmuck.
<[Toby]> :)
#33896
<ZekeMacNeil> lol
<ZekeMacNeil> my dad just IMd me for the first time
<TribGuru> Zeke: "a/s/l son?"
Comment: #fark on irvingnet
#23267
(@Zack`away) man
(@Zack`away) I gave birth yesterday
(@Zack`away) and now I can't masturbate without getting short of breath
(+Joe_Fox) me too!
(@Zack`away) Joe: Where did you go?
(@Zack`away) er
(@Zack`away) BLOOD
(@Zack`away) i gave BLOOD
(@Zack`away) jesus
(+Joe_Fox) oh my god
(+Joe_Fox) i thought that was some joke
#1541
<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about 35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look 'distinguished'.
<Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.
#300740
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#236
<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia
#10288
* kaori hugs Corey as a friend.
<Surago> how else do you hug someone?
<kaori> There are
<kaori> different ways
<kaori> to hug people
<Surago> A very friendly hug consists of you hugging my legs while you suck my penis?
#16509
<yesyouam> marijuana and unix permissions don't mix
#27340
<RomperStomper> deh ; ur fuckin geroge bush
<deh> geroge?
<deh> lol
<NecroOptic> he means garage
<NecroOptic> garage bush
<NecroOptic> like something that grows in your car port