Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#25662
<GM-Bot> What country is directly north of the continental United States?
<Fekko> cnanda
<vperez> canad
<Niftoria> canadar
Comment: (While playing a stupid trivia game)
#49735
<GenericLoser> What do fish smoke?
<GenericLoser> Seaweed!
#7077
<Einer> Charging for porn is like caging a beautiful unicorn in a deep, dark dungeon.
#140
<DigDug> Acero: don't look a gift horse in the mouth is what i say
<Acero> DigDug: yeah, i guess i should just stick my dick in and find out if i get herpes for myself!
#34509
[sQurl] jesus is there anything that isn't broken right now?
[r1ch] customers phones
#2899
*** hypr changes topic to '.'
<LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of month.
#10758
Gr8Hamster: what's the thing I type to see the commands the ftp can do?
Jeff: ?
Gr8Hamster: there was a thing I thought that you could do that would show the commands you could do with something.....
Jeff: ?
Gr8Hamster: nevermind
Jeff: dude, it's a question mark.... type a question mark :-D
Gr8Hamster: oh.. OH! :(
#73083
Arciel: Yeah but you know, cannibalism is really just another form of recycling
#18511
<d3m|silence`sleepyweepy> he is just an asshole and feels he needs to use derogatory names to get his way
#50585
<Joey-X> so im talking to my friend whose hanging out at my place for a joint homework effort and we start making bets on who will do what, like, I bet you 2 bucks you wont drink that expired milk or I bet you 3 bucks you wont go out on the fire escape and yell "WHITE POWER" or something
<Joey-X> and she bets me I wont show her my wang
<Phaser> WHITE POWER
<Joey-X> indeed, but anyway so I pull down my pants and this is the fuckin funniest thing..I wasnt hard yet and she grabs it(this is where I should remind you im not circumsized) and pulls the skin back and - no fucking joke - says 'it looks like a hydralisk'
Comment: #quahog
#50149
<Jason> And... the test is finished.
<Tristal> What was the test, "Can I drink this fifth of Jack Daniels in under 3 minutes?"
<Tristal> Because I noticed you cramming really hard before the exam
#178881
<defunkt> anyone know a good web-based survey system?
<defunkt> we need to find out why you guys are actually paying us money
Comment: From #github
#62635
<Workdug> <woebeetle> russian food = alcohol,cigarettes,cabbage
<metric> i could live on that
<jmx> dont know about the cabbage
<Spidey> pass on the cabbage
Comment: #geekissues
#6191
<felix:#916> i borked ditto
<felix:#916> it might just need a power cycle.
<p1nky:#916> I thought you had a masterswitch?
<felix:#916> yeah. ditto's not on the masterswitch, because it's a rock-solid machine.
<slap:#916> irony
#83969
<Karg> I had a buddy once who thought it'd be real cool to huff glue.
<Karg> He was standing like in the middle of our group and he's like "hey guys, check this shit!"
<Karg> So he gets this glue.
<Karg> On the first huff he squeezes the bottle and ends up gluing his nose shut.
<Karg> Funniest hospital visit ever.
#10720
Bongoshock : the penis is NOT a muscle!
BeHeMoTh101 : IS TOO
BeHeMoTh101 : organ.
Bongoshock : from the root ORgasm
Bongoshock : ORganic =ORgasmic
BeHeMoTh101 : from the root ORECK
BeHeMoTh101 : the bug killing guys
Bongoshock : 10 pounds of suction power?
BeHeMoTh101 : so really the penis is just an evolved potato bug sprayer
#8526
<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used
#16557
<Roberto> My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
#63572
<EnderGT> When I was a kid I went with my dad to his job in facilities for a large company
<EnderGT> They had a bank of diesel-powered generators in their basement - huge 24-cylinder beasts
<EnderGT> On this trip there happened to be a 20 gallon bottle (think old water-cooler bottle) sitting on the floor with about 6 inches of diesel fuel in the bottom
<EnderGT> I inquired as to whether this was a safety hazard - and then watched as a co-worker deliberately struck a match and dropped it in the bottle
<EnderGT> The match fell to the liquid and was extinguished
<EnderGT> As a slightly older youth I attempted to repeat this experiment - only this time with a) a plastic container, b) gasoline, and c) outside on the driveway.
<EnderGT> I think my eyebrows grew back within a week or two
#10203
<DIguana> Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany.
#6483
<dj_ak> i just popped a zit on my shoulder
<dj_ak> and it hit me in the eye
<dj_ak> then i licked my eye
<splifs> women must love you
#16175
<KAboomy> I used to be afraid of bees
<KAboomy> now I'm just afraid of mayonaise
#11620
<Astroboy> Im going to murder the next girl I ever hear make some comment about being over weight.
<Astroboy> Unless the girl is like 500 pounds.
<Trinity> I am so over weight.
<Astroboy> Trinity way to be a absurdly difficult distance away for me to murder you.
#86110
<Stueh> Hehe, in Aus the legal age is 18 and no one cares, just as long as you say you're over 18 :P
<Stueh> I walked into a store when I was 14 to buy smokes, and the guy looks at me and, instead of asking how old I was, he was like "What's your birthday?" and I gave the answer I'm used to "5th Febuary, 1989." Then just thought "FUCK!"
<Stueh> He then looked me up and down and goes: "You know, if you go outside and run around the block four times, you'll be four years older "
<Stueh> So I went out for 10 minutes, came back in, he asked me my birthday, I said 1985, and he sold to me :)
<Stueh> Welcome to Australia! :)
#300468
<me__> i have a dumpdev and can get a backtrace. anything else i should grab?
<arachnist> tits of a nearby female