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#16523
<WoHo> jacob I have the highest grades in english in mah class :[
<WoHo> my only prob is that I facken write in class like I write on irc
<WoHo> my teachers comes up to me and asks
<Nold> rofl
<WoHo> wats ppl ?
<WoHo> wats r ?
<Nold> lol
<WoHo> wats mah ?
<WoHo> dude
<Nold> lolu
<WoHo> its bad :[
#308521
<Pryoidain> I saw the new (old) arp-ing joke post on qdb, and just for a split second of amusement, set every device on my network to have the same IP as my laptop.
<Pryoidain> Now in my head, the intended result was for my lil ultrabook to ask the router "Hey who am I? Here's my IP." and think it had suddenly become a sun box
<Pryoidain> "THE COMPUTER IS THE NETWORK, I AM ALL OF YOU"
<Pryoidain> In reality, I turned the next 57 minutes of my monday morning into a frantic scrabbling to get the network back functional before I had to leave for work, and ended up giving myself a migraine.
#52996
Zot: Fascinating shit.
Zot: Did you know that male spiders, instead of
copulating with females, will place their sperm on a
web, dip their jaw appendages into it, and then stick
their jaws into the female's vaginal opening?
Zot: I can't wait to use that as a pick-up line.
Zot: :)
Jillness: omg
Jillness: lol
Jillness: Im so gonna borrow that
Zot: It's not a facial; it's spidersex!
#35959
*** Join: Garf_LT
<Garf_LT> godddamit creative
<Garf_LT> IS IT SO HARD TO REMEMBER VOLUME SETTINGS
<Garf_LT> BLOWING A USERS EARS OUT COULD END UP IN AN EXPENSIVE LAWSUIT SOMEDAY
<Garf_LT> MORE EXPENSIVE THAN HIRING COMPETENT PROGRAMMERS
#22393
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
#308074
<Moon_Doggy> grrr network hiccup
<ENKI-][> you should hold your breath while drinking jolt and whistling the 2600Hz tone in order to get rid of network hiccups
#305906
< tobyx> i want to fly to switzerland and make free love to the founder of rapidshare
< mc44> you'll catch something horrible :(
< mc44> but only after you wait 60 seconds
#557
[23:34] [+xvize] c++ is made in borland
#41054
[ engineer56] im learn python
[@selcouth] i'd suggest english
#310769
<Taisa> Hey Dan would it be creepy and/or manipulative to try and hit up my ex around the time her menstrual cycle normally clocks at "hornier than usual" or is that just me doing what nature expects me to do
<Rapestove> that sounds like both
<Dan_Maku> Well given you know about it and have tipped your hand towards using it, the former
<Doktor_Q> Those two aren't mutually exclusive at all
<Dan_Maku> Also that
<Dan_Maku> If you're horny just be honest with her about it
<Dan_Maku> ...And maybe don't mention that you keep tabs on her fucking menstural cycle
<Doktor_Q> Nature half expects you to kill your competition's children, this is considered a bad thing today
<Ursarkar_E_Creed> Social Minmaxing and sociopathy go hand in hand
<Taisa> I do like minmaxing...
#29470
<@jwz> "i like that unix has zombie processes... it would be even better if there were also ninja processes... or maybe some ultimate pirate ninja zombie helper monkey... then it would be the best operating system EVER."
#7886
<Grimace> I went to a goon party after drinking a bottle o vodka.
<Grimace> I think I had goon and powerade ... ultra blue puke.
<FiremanSam> fluro pukes own
<FiremanSam> i did a bright green one after a cocktails
<Veggie> i did a red spew once.. but that as cocktail related and not blood so I'm happy
<zer0> I once had a mate drink piss from a gatorade bottle (By accident) and spew it back up.....thats like piss and spew in one!!!
<Grimace> wtf............
#3243
* yossarian doesn't have a middle name
<yossarian> i was going to press charges against my folks for circumcising me anyway, i might as well throw in "lack of names"
#59269
<+Brian> I just started playing with my girlfriend last night and I have to say I'm very impressed with the graphics, sounds and overall polish.
#7056
<Dracleath> You know, its disturbing how much the frosting for dominos cinnamon sticks looks like semen
#34174
<Guyp> my mom wont let me go to the gym
<Guyp> she thinks i'll look at girls and my mind will be sinning ;[
<Guyp> so i think i'll ask her if a gay gym is ok :>
#209693
<shidobu> oh god, I feel like I'm in elementary school
<shidobu> the building management just informed us that there's going to be a firedrill on friday morning
<shidobu> and in exchange for our cooperation, there will be icecream waiting outside the building
<rumblerob> if all your coworkers have perfect attendance do they get a pizza party?
<shidobu> I can only hope
#15970
*** Now talking in #clubsi.com
*** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man mount"'
*** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12
#439
<Lyre-work> <-- soon to be my perm nick =(
#29952
<+Ron> I had to explain to some people what a firewall was
<+Ron> so I said it was like the U.S. border
<+Ron> and the hackers were the mexicans
<+Da_Foo> XD
<+Ron> and without a firewall, mexicans can get in your computer
#16747
<whistler> I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
<whistler> I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
<whistler> BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS
#49031
< plasmadis> marijuana is a gateway drug to the hard stuff
< pescypes> the only thing marijuana is a gateway to is me ordering a pizza
#14304
ElectromagneticPhantom> there's like this monster, stooping over a dead body, it looks up at the camera, and as it moves, the heavy skin shifts and folds over itself in places and IT LOOKS FRELLING *REAL*
Lyme> Okay, PHant, I read that sentence, and thought you were talking about dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> yeah
Lyme> I reread it like, 3 times, and I still think you're talking about dick.
Lyme> Are you talking about dick?
ElectromagneticPhantom> but this monster has no eyes, I think. and four legs
ElectromagneticPhantom> and claws and stuf
Lyme> Four-legged dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> and nasty teeth
ElectromagneticPhantom> and it eats people
CommandantCleavage> four-legged dick monster? You mean men?
Lyme> four-legged clawed cannibalistic dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> it is NOT a dickmonster!
Lyme> It only eats other dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> STOP IIIIIIIT
#81171
Jenna says: I
Jenna says: l
Jenna says: o
Jenna says: v
Jenna says: e
Jenna says: y
David says: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Jenna says: what the **** is your problem?
Jenna says: why do you always do that?
#304853
<Brend> "I have created a revolutionary AI from first principles! Also, can anyone tell me how to draw coloured dots on the screen?"