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#5876
<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"
#44119
<Nitrix> So we have this really retarded blonde in our Chem class, and she had just gotten back from a Cruise in Mexico. Apparently she met JEssica Simpson on the cruise (She did have a buncha pictures with her). She was like "Yah! She's like really cool and not as dumb as everyone thinks, we had some cool conversations!"
<Nitrix> I'm like Yah sure ya did proily when like this:
<Nitrix> "What are you think about?"
<Nitrix> "Nothing"
<Nitrix> Oh my god me too!
#32227
<gloone> i never lie
<gloone> to males
#54006
Schkirpow: So the other day at the grocery store, I got a fantastic idea
Enervine: What was that?
Schkirpow: Well, I got a huge shopping cart full of stuff I needed
Schkirpow: Then hid the cart behind some of those cardboard stand things
Schkirpow: And then took 10 items at a time to the 10 item express lane
Schkirpow: And I got them bagged, put them in another hidden shopping cart
Schkirpow: Then kept going until I had paid for everything
Schkirpow: The cashier got pissed, though, and she asked me why I kept coming back to the express lane instead of going to a normal line
Enervine: hahaha, what did you say?
Schkirpow: Because I was 'in a rush'
#18873
<dave2> BEING SEVEN IS SO LONELY
<dave2> I CAN'T BAG ANY CHICKS BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE COOTIES
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#51739
Clo Poud: my dad
Clo Poud: is pressuring me into buying a car
Rodri316: Clo Poud
Rodri316: Keep your dad's volume constant
Rodri316: and lower his body temperature
Clo Poud: rodri
Clo Poud: what the FUCK
Clo Poud: are you even TALKING ABOUT
Rodri316: according to Gay-Lussac's law, his pressure should decrease
#55
<Sonique> you know you've just experienced an odd moment at 3:30am when you're completely naked making an away msg for aim and your dad (clothed only in breifs) strolls by, waves, and says, "i thought i smelled something. oh well, night!", and walks off
#14519
Craig> craig's penis - 8===========================D O: - spooky
<Spooky> Your "penis" is less that 3 inches long.
#15593
? jimmy/#hadm ----- jimmy's work productivity rating as of 2:21PM --------
? jimmy/#hadm 0% | --------------------------- | 100%
? jimmy/#hadm *- 0.01% (checked email)
#18641
<kinderkid> my man is at home..... playing playstation.... and i was here looking on ebay
<kinderkid> best convo we've ever had
<kinderkid> haha
<ataribaby> hjahahah kickass
<stargroove> "convo"
<ataribaby> is that irc slang for phone sex in different rooms in the house?
<stargroove> yes
#31685
<ICWolf> I just ate a *ton* of Chinese ^_^
<Yasuo> lol, someone has to control their population ;x
#34737
<`michael> If Socrates were to observe American government in theory and in action, I believe he would find elements of justice and elements of injustice. I make this tempered statement not because I wish to put platitudes to paper, but because there are shortcomings in a representative democracy, some of them designed, that serve to reduce the possibility that power will be abused. That “shortcomings” provide for a reduction of abuses may seem
<`michael> what the hell am i talking about
Comment: #geekissues EFnet
#62635
<Workdug> <woebeetle> russian food = alcohol,cigarettes,cabbage
<metric> i could live on that
<jmx> dont know about the cabbage
<Spidey> pass on the cabbage
Comment: #geekissues
#4730
(skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they dont have sex until they do it perfect.
(Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
(Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
(skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck.
#309704
<ButchDeLoria> hey guess what I got
<advi> a boner
<ButchDeLoria> worse
<ButchDeLoria> It starts with an M and ends with an R
<advi> midget boner
#7873
<mx> i'm pretty sure XP comes with the same partitioning snap-in as windows 2000
<mx> anything else would be ridiculous
<norsende> yea i thought fdisk would be included but no
<mx> no fdisk
<norsende> dunno if there's some new proggie
<mx> i don't have an english windows, so i can't tell you. Here, it's on Start/Programme/Verwaltung/Computerverwaltung/Datenspeicher/Datenträgerverwaltun g (gawd, I HATE windows)
#16822
<Packet> my boss just walked by one of the contractors that get canned friday
<Packet> and goes "HEY! I thought I fired you!"
<hmodes> "oh wait, i did.. HAHAHAHAHA!"
<hmodes> i aspire to crush people's souls like that some day
#310042
<JoeCreates> I've a question about memory pooling
<icetooth> add that chemical that turns leaked memory blue so you can track down the source
#693
n e r d b 5: what in the hell
n e r d b 5: im not a registered staples user
n e r d b 5: what do i do?
e l i t e m r p: register
#53419
<buzzcocks> hey guys im gonna go watch some tv and consult w/ my good friend about her boy problems
<buzzcocks> wow that made me sound gay
<sickhippie|wtf> buzzcocks, is there something you need to tell us?
<buzzcocks> hey
<sickhippie|wtf> i mean, you can trust us
<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare
* sickhippie|wtf changes topic to '<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare'
#309511
<Cactus> wat.
<Cactus> I..... don't know why this exists.
<Cactus> it's one of those sites put together by a bot, but it doesn't have ads or anything
<Tec> Za?
<Cactus> but it's like
<Cactus> porn mad libs
<Tec> ...Huh.
<Cactus> it's hilarious and depressing
<Cactus> and bewildering
<Tec> Yeah, I could see that.
<Cactus> "Tina struggled luxuriously as she felt the woman's breast girls photo gallery reverberate off her physics absently struggle unbelivebly her side."
<Cactus> maybe it's supposed to distribute malware or something?
<Tec> "Reverberate off her physics absently" sounds like a line from a particularly saucy science slashfic.
<Cactus> "I sodomized a breast girls photo gallery of handlers to say me, cheating two erroneous spasm suns i had filmed from a concentration order company."
<Cactus> two erroneous spasm suns.
<Tec> I think horse_ebooks has a serious competitor now.
<Cactus> "She told him how eerie his apprehension tasted, and how temporarily she wanted it inside her. "
<Cactus> ouch.
<Cactus> it's basically horse_ebooks, but porn.
<Tec> Apprehension has among the eerier tastes.
Comment: Nightstar
#256707
His Madjesty: So the water cooler at work is broken. It still works, but it leaks.
Ideasman: that's not good...
His Madjesty: We tried to get someone in to fix it or replace it, but they just said to take the water bottle out when we're not using it.
Ideasman: WTF? where are you working?
His Madjesty: Microsoft.
#150317
Neko: how long has it been since i've seen you?
Rawr: since December 9th
Neko: dammit i wanted you to do the math and tell me how many weeks
Rawr: three weeks, three days?
Neko: oh good thank you
Rawr: why, is someone asking you?
Neko: no
Neko: i was bleeding then, and i need to keep track of when i need to buy more tampons
Rawr: ...
Rawr: you are the least romantic person EVER
#17971
<SaM`E> wh00p im getting an amp and 2 12" subs for my car :P~~~~~~
<SaM`E> 1400 installed wif a dual sub box
<glacius> that'll sound good...
<glacius> till they're stolen.