Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#33163
<goatasaur> that reminds me of the health spa that was giving a deal on "champagne facials"
<goatasaur> and i thought, "if that isn't the name of a porn site, it should be"
Comment: #fark on irvingnet
#11735
<+brx|> u know whats great about spreadsheets..?
<+brx|> ....NOTHING THEY ARE FUCKING COCKBAGS
#7156
<vas> my dad recons i dont look up porn
<vas> cuase i tell him it would come up on the bill if i do so
#68143
<nul1o> this pedo sees a kid hanging around near the edge of the cliff crying
<nul1o> so he looks areound and cant see anyone else round
<nul1o> so he goes up and asks the kid whatsup
<nul1o> and hes like, my dog just died, and on the way to the funeral we were in a car crash
<nul1o> and my parents drove off the cliff, I just manged to escape
<nul1o> and the pedos like its not your lucky day is it
<Biomech> so did you help him?
#311438
<ednos> lol, I accidentally started a flame war in work IRC about the gopher protocol
<ednos> I fucking love this company
Comment: they work at red hat
#3089
<[ric]> are you going to start wearing clothes after the court case?
#43508
<sEcretz> What happened was i was watchin porn on my PC and i blacked out. My mum found me unconcious on the floor with my dick out and porn on the screen. She hasnt spoken to me since.
#16180
<WSBN-DannyBoy> stfuysmfs
<Cowboy_LapDog> is "sit on my face" part of that?
<Cowboy_LapDog> hmmn
<Tankd> I was tryin to decode that too.
<WSBN-DannyBoy> STFU YSMFs
<WSBN-DannyBoy> Monkey is part of it
<Cowboy_LapDog> sit the fuck on my and your faces?
<Cowboy_LapDog> you sick monkey fucks?
<Cowboy_LapDog> sexy monkey fuckers?
<Cowboy_LapDog> wait i have one
<Cowboy_LapDog> FYYFF FFFFFFFFF FFFFF !@# FFF
<Cowboy_LapDog> "fuck" is a part of it
#7549
[blergh`] so i went to this fight and a damn hockey game broke out
#11876
<[BDT]Karma> put the chicken mushroom [ramen] outside
<[BDT]Karma> and wait with a club
<[BDT]Karma> maybe a squirrel will come by
<[BDT]Karma> and you will have food for another day
#311375
<DrMcCoy> $ mv clone2728 droid2727
<-- clone2728 has quit (Ping timeout: 255 seconds)
<DrMcCoy> Well, that's not quite what I wanted :P
--> droid2727 has joined #xoreos
<Farmboy0> DrMcCoy: you certainly have a way with people ^^
#4395
<Predictable> "Peace, love, and Linux" makes me think of a guy with excessive facial hair in a tiedye t-shirt, shorts, and sandals saying "You can't use that distribution MAN" "You can't like, own an OS, MAN"
#34689
<tharaka> my computer said "shutting down in 60 seconds"
<tharaka> and i set the clock back to the 1st of april
<tharaka> and now it says "shutting down in 4 days"
<tharaka> hahaha.. stupid microsoft
<tharaka> oh fuck!
* tharaka (tharaka@c210-49-185-160.werrb1.vic.optusnet.com.au) Quit (Connection Reset By Peer)
#56747
< din> so after i get back from the boxing matches saturday
< din> stayed at my gf's place
< din> apparently i was sleepwalking
< din> last i remember is that my gf woke me up at 4am
< din> and says "You just pissed in my floor."
< din> i'm all WTF
< din> NO FSCKIN WAY
< din> i pissed just to the right of her desk, in my sleep
< din> and flushed the printer
< din> and came back to bed
Comment: sleepflushing
#306449
<sXe> so, I was on Omegle today and I met a guy from India
<crosseyes> You don't say.
<sXe> He didn't speak English (go figure) but I asked if he knew any words.
<sXe> He replied with "Autobots, roll out!". No lie.
#297775
<Pryoidain> Did I tell you guys my cop story?
<asaph> No, Pry.
<Pryoidain> Okay so..
<Pryoidain> I get hungry one day, and I tell my mom I'm heading out.
<Pryoidain> She tells me to pick up a watermelon from the farmer's market while i'm out.
<Pryoidain> So I do, and I notice the KFC across the street is open.
<Pryoidain> Being someone who pays very close attention to gas usage, I make the logical choice and get some KFC.
<cjk> ...oh boy...
<Pryoidain> Yep. I turn down king and flip the radio dial, and during my fumbling I speed up to 55.
<Pryoidain> King is a 45.
<Pryoidain> so I fly by this cop, who promptly pulls me over.
<Pryoidain> The cop...is BLACK.
<Pryoidain> He walks up to the window, and asks the question.
<Pryoidain> "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
<Pryoidain> I just...leaned back so he could see the watermelon and the fried chicken in the passenger seat.
<Pryoidain> the cop damn near pissed himself laughing. He laughed for a solid five minutes.
<Pryoidain> I then...got off...WITHOUT A TICKET.
#15319
<Hack4Kix> There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
<Hack4Kix> "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
<Hack4Kix> "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
<Hack4Kix> "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "N, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
<Shao> g-eh
#53587
<@JimPanic> 'life without my girlfriend is like coding without vi and gcc..'
<@JimPanic> ._.
<@]{ing> ... try to tell her like this :P
#13254
<Arno> i got kicked off a cray at school for running "pine"
#71440
<A_SN> lol wtf, from the english "Earth" article on Wikipedia
<A_SN> "It is the largest planet in the world."
Comment: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Earth&oldid=85281232
#306378
dcNate2: wow the UN says internet access is a human right?
Crispy`: dcNate2: Yep./
dcNate2: free internet for all?
Crispy`: well
Crispy`: I have a dream
Crispy`: that one day, we will break free from the chains of oppression
Crispy`: all of God's children
Crispy`: DSL users
Crispy`: cable users
Crispy`: satellite internet users
Crispy`: will be united as one under an internet that imposes no caps!
Crispy`: No restrictions! no limits! No censorship nor greedy corporate owners!
Crispy`: We are all free and equal under the tubes!
dcNate2: judge me not by my ISP, but the QoS of my connection!
#53666
<olhfatti> im gohan die
<jca> you better vegeta to a hosptial
<olhfatti> i should, my lungs are krillin me
<jca> goku now
<olhfatti> i need to find my toque or else my ears will freeza
#1330
(fub) I walked into a police station once to pick up some court papers, and I smoked a joint about 5 blocks away and I was was sitting in there for awhile and I looked down at my shoes and the roach was on the front tounge of my shoe ;/
#3777
<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)
#304248
<@Sebas> So on his death bed, Tiger Woods' grandad told him "Tiger... If you want to be the best some day, concentrate on your golf, and fuck everything else."