Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#291749
<+Max[Tea`age]> just sneezed my headphones across the room
#12059
<RevMike> my favorite dream is still the one when i had a vagina and all the girls at school showed me how to use it
#251320
Zac2: "Scientists Find Gene That Makes You Good at Halo Also Makes You a Premature Ejaculator"
Jed_Reality: New Macbooks announced.
#28315
<Dru> been going strong for like 20 minutes
<Velcro_> the viagra's helping eh?
<Dru> yeah like i need drugs to keep a constant hard on
<Quorthy> viagra is for ppl without usenet access
<Quorthy> & usenet is for ppl without vagina access
#6615
<@amfeorgmloow> jon do chicks dig the C
<@Jon> amfeorgmloow: they scream preprocessor directives when I take em from behind
#18464
<Zimbu> Listening to WvSoulja's raps is like masturbating with a cheese grater-- sorta amusing, but mostly painful.
#31248
<Alb-guy> I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned about other teenagers who are using these products as masturbation aids.
#14318
Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..)
#37835
<Bikke> Whoah, I'm in better shape than I'd expected.
<Bikke> 3 miles plus 6-700 vertical feet in like 20 mins
<GauHelldragon> that is a very impressive jump :o
#6361
<tbp> I never trusted James Earl Jones after that Vader shit.
#39573
<@Rjx> I was in the canteen, and I forgot what I was doing
<@Rjx> so I wandered around a bit
<@Rjx> and I dropped my sandwich
<@Rjx> I must've been standing in the area where the retarded kids usually eat
<@Rjx> because some woman asked me if I was waiting for my carer
Comment: #geekissues
#2468
<god4ever> I had sex before, just never with a person
#224084
<hci> life lesson: never perform oral sex before visiting the dentist without brushing your teeth first. especially if you're dating the dentist's daughter
#53482
<@FireAngel> So, are we meeting tonight?
<%g4ngst4> yeah ;]
<%g4ngst4> i'll give you somethin all your ex bfs didn't.. ;]
<@FireAngel> A STD?
#35046
<railed> overheard at a 13-year old's slumber party: "I WOULD NEVERRRR PUT ONE IN MY MOUTH!! THAT IS SOOOO GROSS!! EWWW!" 3 years later: "hmph rrph mmmph you love me right? hurf mmmph"
Comment: #quakeed
#3061
<MadScribe> i WILL NEVER EVER live below someone again
<MadScribe> he is apparently redoing the fucking floor
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> for the last fucking hour
<MadScribe> geezus
<toNe> you sure he's not just fucking his wife?
#2292
<brase_one> anyone have kemetic suns - stop the world = free leech to my ftp site
<MiNdizzle> that's the weirdest math equation i've seen
#34359
<timmo> GOD DAMMIT AIM
<timmo> making a fucking window pop up while im in the middle of typing
<hy\dro> working fine for m
<hy\dro> e
<hy\dro> oh
<timmo> someone invited me to fucking chat or some shit
<timmo> but while i was typing
<Kenn> haha
<Kenn> and you hit space
<timmo> i totally killed the fucking window
<Kenn> and you will NEVER EVER know what it said
<Kenn> and who it was from
<Kenn> EVER
<timmo> exactly
<Kenn> Doesn't that kill you?
<timmo> yes
Comment: #geekissues efnet
#11803
<Zammbo> If you have young children, avoid purchasing bleach products bearing pictures of Pikachu drinking the bleach.
#36159
<@lude> I just saw about 50 NYPD B&W's scramble from just about every side street, and all head towards the west side hwy, wonder what is going on...
<@Rjx> what state do you live in?
#113987
<Kodan> I hate lawyers.
<Dwing> I'm a lawyer.
<Dwing> I AM OFFENDED BY YOUR STATEMENT!
<Dwing> <Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-counter-counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Spray paints self black>
<Kodan> <Pulls out the race card>
<Kodan> OH LAWD! THE WHITE MAN BE A PUTTIN' ME DOWN!
<Kodan> <Calls Al Sharpton>
<Dwing> ...
<Dwing> I bow to your superior tactic D:
#8545
[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better than getting pregnant...
#32662
<ruumis> playing metroid on the toilet. man, I knew there was a reason I lived in America.
#41070
<DJvenom> ::::) spiderman
#300391
<dessin> I got a spam email about a week back that slipped through my filter
<dessin> usually they don't get through, I get maybe one or two every year
<dessin> so I open up the headers and it turns out there's a yahoo account as the reply-to
<dessin> figured it's a long shot but I emailed it saying "stop sending me spam, asshole"
<dessin> turns out this guy is a complete dumbass and actually put his real email in the reply to - emails me back saying "fuck you, I'll spam who I want" and asking how I got his email and shit
<iggi> lol
<dessin> so I checked the headers again and found the IP that the email was sent from
<dessin> did a geoip lookup and got a pretty specific location in london, and found the local exhange from google maps
<dessin> and it was kinda out of the way in london so the exchange maybe covered 600 houses or so
<dessin> so I print off like 1000 leaflets saying "there is a spammer in your area, if you have any information please forward it to the police" and stuff
<dessin> took a train to london, two bus changes to the area
<iggi> wtf hahaha
<dessin> went round and posted the leaflets through every house in the area
<dessin> anyway this morning I get an email from the guy asking how I found his house and begging me not to tell the police
<iggi> ROFL HAHAHAHAHA!!
<iggi> massive overkill man
<dessin> I fucking hate spam :P