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#150316
<Jackal>: So I went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, he went inside and came out with a sandwich bag...... note to self new best friend.
#311121
<atom_bomb> my girlfriend has been pressuring me to write a book about about my engineering methodology
<atom_bomb> (after i told her how much money the agile software alliance makes)
<atom_bomb> my methodology is essentially a longwinded justification of procrastination
<atom_bomb> it just happens to be scrum-compatible and highly effective
#33991
(lithrye) I'm experiencing an annoying problem.
(lithrye) hlds is killing my ISP's router.
(Silicon) and how exactly do they say it's doing that
(lithrye) it's causing it to drop packets.
(Silicon) what are they using Fischer Price, My first router?
#61924
<MadMax> Which is a better question to spend time and money thinking about:
<MadMax> How was the universe created?
<Catch-22> or, Are those real?
#30708
<JP> college course prerequisites are like navigating the diablo 2 skill tree.
#301942
<Ryan> I had my car broken into. They ignored my two laptops, but instead took my iPhone charger and 3 cans of Grape Soda from my cooler.
#10478
<Acheron> hep: :P
<Acheron> And I say that from the bottom of my heart.
<hep> please to not be sticking it out unless you intend on using it.
<hep> today
<Acheron> Well, my tongue is a little longer than most, but S.F. is a
helluva reach, even for more gifted folks
<Mitzy> despicable.
<Acheron> Sorry. I don't get as much tongue-stretching exercise as I used
to.
<para> that's a .sigfile right there.,
<Acheron> keep your .sig out of my .file! perv!
#3243
* yossarian doesn't have a middle name
<yossarian> i was going to press charges against my folks for circumcising me anyway, i might as well throw in "lack of names"
#10646
<hybridy2k> how do i give ppl ops with a certain level
<@netwerk> rephrase your question in english before i find an axe and murder your parents
#15467
<rogue> I like how matt took the time to tell us he was vomiting
<rogue> it's that kind of detail that really makes this channel work, I think
#29091
* phox01d believes his testicles to be itchy
* LordRuKK nods to phox
<LordRuKK> go a day without a shower in this heat and..
* phox01d is now known as phoxleep
<phoxleep> no
<phoxleep> this isnt from not being clean
<LordRuKK> I'm not troubleshooting your testicles
<LordRuKK> go to bed
#33457
<Ethel> Actually, if we're talking about Spam, I kept a tin of Spam all the way through university. For my 21st birthday, a group of friends and I ceremonially openned it in the EE&E common room and had Spam, ketchup and white bread sandwiches
<Matt> and then puked your little guts up?
<Ethel> The only thing we'd forgotten was a knife to cut the Spam, so we used a protractor instead.
<Matt> Ethel: hardcore engineers
<Ethel> This adventure was reprised at my wedding reception
<Clive> Ethel: You fed people spam at your wedding reception?
<Ethel> Clive: no, I nipped to the loo after the starter and returned to discover that my cutlery had been replaced with a geometry set and that I was being served Spam, white bread and Tesco Value ketchup.
<Ethel> I was touched
<Clive> You were touched while still in the loo, or when you got back to the main room?
<Clive> Surely it's against the norms of etiquette to touch the groom at a wedding?
<Ethel> Clive: now that would be telling
#54895
<HotStud> what i want is for you to stop screwing with my head and start screwing with my dick!
<ingenue> Okay, box it up and mail it USPS, and my girlfriend and I will give it a try.
<ingenue> Oh, wait, what size battery does it take? 'Cos I think my AA are all dead.
<HotStud> ...
<HotStud> goddam lezbo
<HotStud> you just haven't had the right man, then youd learn that there are some things a chick just can't do
<ingenue> You know, that could work for you, too...
#13887
<BlackNovember> Yesterday when I woke up I found my missing Borknagar CD under my pillow.
<WinterDemon> Yeah, that's the "Cum residue on your hand fairy"s way of repaying you for the left over man juice on your hand after you finished beating off and passed out with your hand under the pillow.
<BlackNovember> Whoa, so if i jerk off tonight and put my hand under my pillow, I'll wake up with a Rotting Christ album under it?
<WinterDemon> Yes, but not the album with a bonus disc, that would be too greedy
#106776
<w3nis`> Man i love clueless people with open wireless networks
<w3nis`> ill never pay for internet again
#40652
jill ea: after great and lengthy procedures taking an excruciating two hours i finally figured it out. woo! all for 3 seconds of glory.
nyis024: sounds like my sex life
#34873
<everest> the iraqis captured 4 italians, 2 americans, and a korean
<everest> they're setting up for an offensive joke.
<everest> tomorrow they'll force the hostages to walk into a bar
Comment: #geekissues
#2949
<al-x> pam anderson had implants
<al-x> had them taken out
<al-x> just had them put back in
<al-x> she proly has zippers
<al-x> under her arms
<al-x> or somethign
#32718
<Allahkat> I would like to do a comparison between fraknet's #fark and #frak.
<Allahkat> #Frak: <ocean2> a^2 + b^2 = c^2
<Allahkat> <ocean2> where c is the longest side of a triangle
<Allahkat> #Fark: <Allahkat> Well, if you have a small weener, you can put it in my bum.
<Allahkat> <Wintermute> front bum?
<Allahkat> <Allahkat> Both bums.
<ocean2> haha
<Allahkat> Does anyone see a slight difference?
<ocean2> i'm not sure
<Allahkat> HAHA
Comment: Channel comparison
#1547
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?
#23987
britty has joined the channel
* e_read molests britty
<e_read> oh and... hi!
britty has left the channel
#51410
* BuRn sets mode: +v g
* DamDevil sets mode: +v g
<+g> oh oh oh..can i trade my two +v's for a larger prize? :o
#301950
PartyGirl1450981: I set VLC to always look for subtitle files and use them for the corresponding videos
PartyGirl1450981: and I set it to always use the english subs for Damnatus
PartyGirl1450981: so the bob ross video I'm watching is slightly grim dark
PartyGirl1450981: hes talking about a beautiful blue color to start off with
PartyGirl1450981: and the subs are talking about how the universe has devolved into a hell of eternal war
PartyGirl1450981: I muted it for extra lols
PartyGirl1450981: and he's painting a cloud into the sky
PartyGirl1450981: "HUMANITY HAS NO ALTERNATIVE"
#10945
<@Ded|> filled another glass of wine while I was at it
<@Ded|> oh damn someone else just pulled up w00t party on
<@oak> its me
<@oak> i'm there to slap you for drinking boxed wine
#46537
<farax> Silence time!
<farax> If anyone talks again after his/hre last line, (s)he gets kickbanned for a day.
<farax>his/her*
*** farax sets mode: +b *!*@*.nyc*.verizon.net
*** farax has been kicked by farax (SILENCE!)
<yoo> Definitive proof that females will be the death of us all...