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#5468
<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
#1584
<Godzi||a> I would suck my own dick too if I could.
<Chrononaut> "you're only gay if you swallow"
<Invictus[A]> you're a fag for even thinkin' about it
#761
<Martes> I gotta stop sleeping nude with my window open
<Martes> no one exciting comes in anyway
#1243
<jinkusu> nd-: you're not lagged
<jinkusu> i'm just typing with one hand
<nd-> ok, 'nuff said
<nd-> enjoy
<[dom]> is the other one hugging mr. wonderful?
<jinkusu> yup
#31111
<efeX> I got an email off a clan leader today
<efeX> He offered me a "nap"
<efeX> with his "division"
<efeX> So im guessing im invited to some sort of nerd orgy
<efeX> Which quite frankly both fightens and excites me
<efeX> infact, bbl
#253988
<Fox> oh yeah, mr little brother got in trouble at his college today, it was pretty funny
<Fox> the first day of a huge lab class and the teacher was trying to introduce himself and be friendly with everyone, and asked "Are there any stories you'd like me to tell about myself?"
<Fox> and my brother wasn't paying attention and half asleep so he said out loud what he was thinking at the time, what he meant to say to himself as a joke
<Fox> "Tell us about the first time you masturbated"
<Fox> he said the teacher turned bleach white, and the girls in the class turned red, the rest were laughing
#28807
<dirtYbird> I am looking for a ecommerce package or someone to make one up, mulitlingual etc. Found one in Jamaica but I find it hard to take anything from there too serious, I can picture them sitting back in front of their PC's with joints the size of rolled newspapers on the phone telling me "it'll be coool mon"
#29470
<@jwz> "i like that unix has zombie processes... it would be even better if there were also ninja processes... or maybe some ultimate pirate ninja zombie helper monkey... then it would be the best operating system EVER."
#21752
<GoddIs> i don have that many friends../.:(
<Meditate> awwww
<Meditate> i got 31 on MSN
<Meditate> and 44 on yahoo
#18
<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
#311121
<atom_bomb> my girlfriend has been pressuring me to write a book about about my engineering methodology
<atom_bomb> (after i told her how much money the agile software alliance makes)
<atom_bomb> my methodology is essentially a longwinded justification of procrastination
<atom_bomb> it just happens to be scrum-compatible and highly effective
#62745
(@_MB_) so
(@_MB_) how was thailand
(@Euan) pretty awesome actually
(@Euan) did loads and loads of cool stuff
(@Euan) how was internet
(@_MB_) pretty awesome actually
(@_MB_) did loads and loads of cool stuff
(@Euan) yeah?
(@_MB_) no :(
#1221
<Ron912> <OiOiBuNnY> one time at retard camp i stuck a wheelchair in my pussy
#42421
<PunchBag> haha, earlier i saw this girl wearing this T-shirt that had the words "I wish these were brains" written on her boobs
#32389
<ruumis> someone spiked my morning coffee with HATE
#38920
nathan: hehe, one of my roommates is going vegetarian inspired by me
walker: wow
nathan: another point for destroying the world
walker: tell him he's a faggot for me
nathan: lol
nathan: we won't last a week, i bet
walker: yeah I know
walker: gay relationships founded on vegitarianism are always doomed
nathan: fuck I mean he, HE wont last a week
nathan: fuck you
#30514
<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.
#309662
<b2coutts> so apparently, when your laptop doesn't boot any more, the solution is to boot into your arch live ISO, look at your partitions, and reboot
<jj2baile> observation causes a change in the system!
<sharvey> clearly you have quantum linux
#36983
<spook> i failed at sleeping yesterday :(
<Madman> heh
<spook> stupid bastards with hammers right below me... they will PAY for their insolence
<Madman> I'm sure you can think up a suitable punishment
<arch> i am guessing he will punish them by cowering in front of his computer on irc
<spook> damn. he figured me out
#15056
* Joins: dad (dad@h00a0ccd3e0a3.ne.client2.attbi.com)
<@tatpoop> Hi dad.
<@tatpoop> Quit hitting mommy. ;_;
<@tatpoop> OH GOD MEMORIES
#9360
<[DeViL]Hawk> dammit u sothern punk my mums rich i looked at the price list
<FanBoy|Away> er? your mum is on a price list...figures
#40615
<dani> im cold! *goes to get blanket*
<caz> I'M A DONKEY! *goes to get psychiatric help*
#8807
[Chocolate_Jihad] ahh depth perception she is harsh mistress
[Chocolate_Jihad] so much good but at such a great cost
[Darkure] you mean to your dignity?
[Chocolate_Jihad] unfortunately
#61832
<hohum> so I've been working on this now for the last several hours
<hohum> all because of stupidity
<hohum> this is going to be so rewarding when I'm done
<hohum> and by rewarding, I mean anticlimatic :(
#31248
<Alb-guy> I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned about other teenagers who are using these products as masturbation aids.