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#24600
<kak> Alereon you're a dumb fucking cunt thanks for your help i'm going to go commit suicide
<@Alereon> I love it when problems solve themselves!
#310093
<vee> god my brain is so dumb sometimes
<vee> I looked out the window and saw a lot of birds and squirrels and I thought "yeah it's the weekend" as if they all normally have jobs to go to during the week
#11166
<TekMounty> I think I'll have to go to a confessions, at the adaptive technologies expo, there was a 19 inch lcd screen just sitting there, I though to myself "If I ran out with this none of these disabled people could catch me"
#7776
<u238|duhasst> right now if you put me in a round room and told me to piss in a corner.. my blader would explode
#31955
* Hyou-Chan[draw] (kyoshyu@Admin.Nightstar.Net) Quit (Quit: Every night, you come when I sleep; you touch me; you suck me; you enjoy it, and then leave me to suffer... Goddamn mosquito!)
#52938
< psysick> why do fat ppl get hired as security guards
< psysick> are they considered more attentive to television screens?
#43394
<hman> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
<hman> Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large
<hman> elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, but absolutely no
<hman> recollection of what to do with them.
#121036
<SimonJester> myself: Yeah. I have a fascination for all things Tuvan. To find even a minor phrase book is something amazing.
<purge> I'm a fan of throat singing.
<purge> No idea why they call it that, though, since it's all in the tongue.
<SimonJester> It's not all in the tongue. Some of it is in the back of the throat.
<myself> fuck. Why is this channel +t ?
#54264
* BigToe comes out of the closet
<BigToe> I'M BISEXUAL!
* Swishy cuts bigtoe in half and puts the other half in the closet
#301451
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird
#308758
<p4plus2> VI VI VI THE EDITOR OF THE BEAST
#40412
<nirv> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
#7450
<@Bojangle> splurge: This one time, my friend called the cops for getting a threatning phone call. SO the cops come over to just see what my friend is like, to judge if he was BSing or not
<@Bojangle> So they come over, and start chatting my friend up, they go, "What do you do?" and he's like, "I'm a computer consultant
<@Bojangle> "Oh yeah, what are ya' working on?" and he's like, "Oh, some webserver"
<@Bojangle> So then these two cops start talking about how he should use another server, and how the server he's using sucks, and how he should set up a database for certain things, lmao
<@splurge> HAHAHA
<@Bojangle> And my friend's like, "What are you, cops or computer programmers?" and he's like, "Oh, I just like to play around in my spare time"
<@Bojangle> It was like something outta Seinfeld
<@splurge> id skullfuck them and leave their corpses in the backyard
<@Bojangle> Me too
#16541
** Moses is now known as Cain....
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro ....
<KeeperS> ....
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible ....
* KeeperS is moved to tears
#15361
<@dR¦> gn
<@AN¦FunG> nn
<@dR¦> nn ?
<@AN¦FunG> night night
<@dR¦> my granny used to say that
<@dR¦> are u 86 with blue hair ?
<@dR¦> :P
<@AN¦FunG> well, you are what you eat
#25462
<VgameT> hahahaha, aol just froze
<Mooseka> VGAME THAT'S LIKE SAYING DROWNING VICTIMS ARE WET
#29846
<blitzHOME> YOU ALSO CAN'T EAT BUNG WITHOUT GETTING POTTY MOUTH
<blitzHOME> HA HA HA I JUST MADE THAT UP
<blitzHOME> i'm lonely
#54799
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
#54387
<Thero> WHAT THE FUCK
<Thero> i just got yelled at for eating ham
<Thero> WHY ARE MY PARENTS PISSED ABOUT ME EATING HAM
<Thero> i didn't eat the ham to begin with
<Neon-azi> did you eat it on a plane?
<Thero> no?
<Neon-azi> did you eat it on a train?
<Thero> ....
<|silicon> did you eat it on a bar?
<wind> did you eat it in a car?
<hydro> did you eat it in a box?
<hydro> OR WITH A FOX?
#39214
<The_GGA> But ninjas never lose a fight. They just don't.
<desplesda> what if you've got two teams of ninjas fighting each other? who wins then?
<The_GGA> The ninjas.
<desplesda> you make a good point
#397
<Maxim-> these fortune cookies are lame
<Maxim-> mine says "You are going to have some new clothes."
#39042
<Denisu> Hello. Dutch helpers enable ?
<nkuttler> !dutch
<dpkg> i heard dutch is soome straangje laanguaage daat sussudio kjeeps spjeeaaking, or #debian.nl
#8228
<alexei^se> I need a new hd
<alexei^se> 10gb hd yah yah!
<xK|servo> ya i have a 20 just got a 40
<xK|servo> mfr at office max was like hey pal need some extra space for all them mpeg files
<xK|servo> i was like shit you got me man
<xK|servo> hes like hey dont worry we all do
#297507
[+Rickmasta] What would you say is the main chinese religion?
[~knoeki] Rickmasta: opression?
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
#310347
<Rozzie-mob> Ohok
<Rozzie-mob> Apparently when I was younger I ate the dogs worming tablets
<Rozzie-mob> But it was okay because I took the correct dosage