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#6755
<ODD> optimism is having a ups on a win95 box
#305708
<Pryoidain> >lift up faceplate on old laptop's CD-Rom drive, make whole faceplate giant eject button, so the moment you push it in, it sits there, then ejects again
<Pryoidain> >take into small hardware repair shop
<Pryoidain> >hours of amusement
<Alister> ...you didn't.
<Pryoidain> I did
<Alister> you know
<Alister> you are the reason I never want to work support in my life
#25060
<timmo> you know this will be one of those things
<timmo> where when i die st. peter or whoever
<timmo> is looking over my sins and what not
<timmo> "so you told chris to, and i quote 'knock the bottom out of it and make sure she cant walk right tomorrow'?"
<timmo> "nah man it wasnt like that"
<arse-poet> and then he will show you the irc long
Comment: #geekissues
#55033
<Sanguini> My friend was over, he asked me to get "a good pron movie"
<Sanguini> I got him a prawn, swimming contentedly along
<Sanguini> He didn't like it :(
#29005
<yaynana> anyone here ever done a dual penitration before?
<BlackDeth> most of the people here haven't done a single penetration zaney
#302291
<TwoPointOh> ZenGwen: do you get easily offended by references to 9/11?
<ZenGwen> no
<TwoPointOh> okay
<TwoPointOh> i had a great idea for a t-shirt
#31063
<Excreta_Pusher_5000> anyone want to buy a bass guitar?
<Excreta_Pusher_5000> from my experiences, girls will want to lay you if you know how to play bass guitar
<DP> you're an idiot
#51450
plainsongx: also, that is a lie. the bumping and grinding was like the one good part of that movie [The Matrix II].
HeKuknos: dude no it was not
HeKuknos: i watched that movie with my dad
HeKuknos: it was the most uncomfotable fifteen minutes that wouldn't end of my LIFE
#152127
<@jig[g]ster> yeah ignore me i'm on acid :P (methamphetaminelly speaking)
<@jig[g]ster> er, metaphorically*
#8728
<@Linguica> wooo
<@Linguica> amy jo johnson naked
<@arioch> whoa
<@arioch> arcing hydra bow
<@Linguica> and such is our difference
#14886
<karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell script.
<Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.
#52838
<Kyle> ah yes, I remember my first time..she was lying on the bed and I was holding my coat and saying out loud "hmm I cant decide whether or not I'm going to do this with my coat on or off.." and shes looking at me like "wtf" and I start putting it on and I continue talking "and right now its looking like..coat"
#295523
<Rocks_the_Keys> noooooooo red ring of death on my xbox
<Rocks_the_Keys> anyone know how to play .avi movies on a wii?
<Keevan> put a laptop on top of the wii
#152432
<+Guillotine> If anybody wants to participate in the greatest April fools of all time, I need a .wav of the rickroll song and .tga version of every .5 second interval in the video
<+Guillotine> (I think you can see where I'm going with this)
<@Iriel> Hell?
<+Guillotine> Probably
#54658
<Mrono> man
<Mrono> i had a nightmare last night
<Mrono> i dreamed that efnet started having chanservices
<Mrono> ugh
#54224
<EFX> I saw a black guy with a shirt on the other day that said " keep staring, maybe I'll steal your car "
#35377
<Freefall> http://www.strategypage.com/dls/articles/2004418.asp <-- the definition of oxymoron. Replacing the engines on NUCLEAR missle in order to make them more 'environmently friendly'.
#13887
<BlackNovember> Yesterday when I woke up I found my missing Borknagar CD under my pillow.
<WinterDemon> Yeah, that's the "Cum residue on your hand fairy"s way of repaying you for the left over man juice on your hand after you finished beating off and passed out with your hand under the pillow.
<BlackNovember> Whoa, so if i jerk off tonight and put my hand under my pillow, I'll wake up with a Rotting Christ album under it?
<WinterDemon> Yes, but not the album with a bonus disc, that would be too greedy
#102065
[helf] or do like me, have absolutely no idea what the job is for because you forgot you even had an interview, come in looking like you just woke up with a bad hangover, luck out because your soon to be boss has never done an interview before, he doesnt want to do an interview and you both just end up playing nethack for 2 hours
[rielore] i love nethack
#4415
<MuSKraT> I'm supposed to go to meet a cute girl at a bar with our class, but I keep farting. I CAN'T GO UNTIL I FINISH FARTING.
#308860
<judges119> Has anybody tried to eat the ingredients of a cake on the assumption the ingredients will be
<judges119> like the final product?
<mamacx> omg no
<maximumoffence> ...yes.
<maximumoffence> I was a stupid child
#4476
<Dreq> is there anyway to get the DOS version?
<andy> the dos version of win98?
<Dreq> yes
#37968
<Norgus> I bought cheapy headphones and they sound like some sailor stuck his dick in my ear.
#5030
<clay> i read the word "c'mon" in a comic book
<clay> so i went to my mom
<clay> and said
<clay> mom, what does c'mon mean, and i pronounced it like semen
#297468
<jaska_> A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius
<jaska_> My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K