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#34214
<rhraz_w3rk> recession? pshh, i haven't seen one hobo yet!
<ESD-Wyrk> that's cause you need to go outside to see one
<ESD-Wyrk> most of them aren't 'online'
#19398
<Fas|n8> i wank while looking at the mirror.....while.....the bitch come out and stab me?
<Fas|n8> oi wank in front of the mirror....and say bloody mary 3 times....she will come out and give u a blow job
<sybex> I just took a bat to make myself feel safer :)
#83745
<InkyGhost> So, I work for a college, managing one of their labs. The college had problems with people abusing the printers, so they switched to a "pay-per-page" system.
<InkyGhost> Our printer, however, is free and unmetered, but for Computer Science stuff only.
<InkyGhost> We've turned a blind eye to people printing off reports and whatnot, but lately someone's been abusing it. So, we're locking down the printer a little more.
<InkyGhost> What broke the camels back was some student repeatedly printing out this 30 page excerpt called "The History of Judaism" 4-5 times a day for 2 days.
<Morigann> So, when the students complain, you'll just tell them to blame the jews?
<InkyGhost> If it would not get me so incredibly fired, that would be the notice on the printer.
#7766
*** booger is now known as BROADCAST
* BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM ETG OPS: we all suck here tonight, so we are going to bounce chanserv a few times then disco ky-hub-1.etg.sucks.com and force a few netsplits on zaire-congo-hub-gw.etg.africa.org just because - vd whiz
#17352
<+ParaBytes> i have this weird problem
<+GoodScrat> rub vasoline on it and don't play with it for a week
#37058
<Chee|s|e> I can't wait: soon, marijuana will be legal in Canada :)
<Eddf> So you can have a pot garden in your back yard?
<Chee|s|e> No dude, so I can extend the one in the back to the front.
#54060
DarkSnake > if you have sex for several years would that qualify you as a sexologist?
chsh > I had my sexologist license for a bit, but it was revoked. :S
DarkSnake > quit practicing huh
chsh > I do however have a double doctorate in Ballgrabbery and Advanced Masturbatory Studies
Comment: irc.unerror.com #lobby
#305620
<Gale_> my sister's neighbor is a dumbass
<Gale_> "Look at me, I'm going to have an unsecured wireless network and not change the default login settings for the router!"
<Gale_> My question is should I protect their network and change the login settings on the router just to teach them a lesson, or should I leave it be and let my sister borrow their connection whenever she feels like?
<Gale_> I did that to my neighbor a couple of years ago.
<Gale_> put a password on it and changed the router login info.
<Gale_> The router was in the dumpster a few days later and a new unsecured network showed up at the same time.
#3145
* FlipTopBox eats Dicks
<FlipTopBox> capitalization is very important sometimes
#4012
<Gallant> what's the point of programmin C/C++ if your goal is to make readable code?
#774
<Maarken> anyone know of good places to price cisco stuff? I don't want to do all their touchy feely salesperson shit.
#11697
<RonZombie> \m/
<RonZombie> pretend thats a little fist making devil horns
<Aboshi> Then pretend it's cool
<RonZombie> HELLO BURN WARD
<RonZombie> MAJOR BURNAGE
#301975
<GrooveDog> Unfortunately I have the programming knowledge of a walrus.
<GrooveDog> But I'll figure it out, thanks for the help. :)
<bburhans> I happen to have in my possession a very gifted walrus who speaks four natural languages and was computer literate at the age of two months... and walruses live a very long time :)
<GrooveDog> lol.
<GrooveDog> Either way, I have less knowledge of python than a python.
<bburhans> a shame, indeed. My python only knows Perl. But damn, he can do regular expressions nearly as well as the penguin...
Comment: from #supybot on freenode
#126796
<simonova> so, supposing I wanted to show you guys the program I wrote, what's the best way to go about that?
<ubajas> Kill the president and clutch a printout of the program in your hands, as you're brought down by security guards.
Comment: #perl
#17002
<ryano> i ain't drank dick for shit in months
<reston> try a lemondrop bodyshot
<reston> get some fly bitch and rub sugar on her tummy... lick it, take a shot of vodka
<reston> and then eat a lemon
<jonathans> is that some kind of homosexual alternative to tequila shots
<reston> yea jon
<reston> but its good
<jonathans> sugar instead of salt
<jonathans> lemon instead of lime
<jonathans> a chick instead of your hand
<jonathans> its beginning to make sense to me.
#4905
<l0wkey> the women in porn spread so much all i can see are kidneys
#26342
<asdasd> spellig? excuse me asshole...I got a+ in englsih
#178767
<@michai> who is the samba guru here
<@LexMortis> not you.
<@michai> anyone with a constructive answer perhaps..? :)
<@LexMortis> not me.
#217
<Amanda`> while(every_girl_except_me == idiot)
<Amanda`> cout << "INFINITE LOOP OF H8" << endl;
#42758
< jnc> use someone else's underwear
< jnc> i mean
< jnc> bandwidth
Comment: #freematrix on irc.freenode.net
#296566
<Blaze> whats with all the macro buttons haveing no labels?
<Pryoidain> We're computer people.
<Pryoidain> We don't use labels.
<Pryoidain> Makes us look smarter.
<Pryoidain> They're color coded though.
<Pryoidain> You want the blue button xP
* Pryoidain has quit (Quit: Lost terminal)
* Pryoidain has joined #aftermath
<Pryoidain> NEVERMIND. Do NOT hit the blue button O.O
#15037
<su-Septik`wrk> when the world trade center bombing occurred, the reporters said they could not retrieve the black box. my friend, who was stoned at the time, said "goddamn, ppl must be desperate for a playstation 2"
#7854
[Zaun] Zoid?
[Zoid] Yes?
[Zaun] Have you ever been to Vegas?
[Zoid] No
[Zaun] Let me rephrase that. Have you ever paid for sex?
#51456
< BernardBlack> i just thought of something
< BernardBlack> do midget bakers bake shortbread?
Comment: #otw on freenode
#309867
< Clarke> Haskell is like dropping a trident missile on the problem; MUMPS and PHP are like slamming two uranium chunks together by hand.