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#56878
<Turtles> I really wouldn't mind if an old lady took a dump on my chest.
<Lovespuds> ...
<Lovespuds> ...Dude.
<Turtles> Er.
<Turtles> That was the wrong window.
<Lovespuds> Turtles, there is no such thing as the right window for that.

#310123
<@Sir_herrbatka> what is the best vi mode for emacs?
< wheybags> vim
< wheybags> alias emacs='vim'
< wheybags> (did that on a society server once as an april fools day joke :P)
< wheybags> and alias vim='emacs' too
< wheybags> one guy came on irc
< wheybags> "why is vim taking so fucking long to start up"

#75576
<@ALGORYTHM> make your own wikipedia entry then you too can be right

#648
<snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email "im drunk" has been sent.

#303214
<highjack> does anyone have a time machine I can borrow?
<Zetta> highjack: yeah, but I need it back ten minutes ago

#28852
<Mr_Rabies> that is proper
<Mr_Rabies> woot.
<Parak> mrproper?
<Parak> did you make a booboo in your source tree? :/
* Parak stabs self
* technodrone stabs Parak
<Mr_Rabies> oe noes
<Mr_Rabies> parak committed seppuku
* Mr_Rabies bukkake
* Mr_Rabies bukkake
<technodrone> you need like, 20 guys for a real bukkake
<technodrone> and youre just one, small, man
<Mr_Rabies> <technodrone> you need like, 20 guys for a real bukkake
<Mr_Rabies> <technodrone> and youre just one, small, man
<Mr_Rabies> not if you have 20 penises
<Mr_Rabies> all arranged in a circular pattern.
<janitorbob> but do you have 20 prostates
<Temujin> or don't fap for 20 days to save up
<technodrone> penis gatling gun ?
<Mr_Rabies> no they're like
<technodrone> like cow's utter ?
<Mr_Rabies> a bunch of penises... in a WTF WHY AM I EXPLAINING THIS SHIT
<Reptile> i knew i should have just closed irc
<technodrone> it stirrs up chan's interest
* Defenestrator comes back to the channel... and quickly leaves again

#30594
<J3anyus> i just received a sign from god that i'm going to get laid at the concert i go to tonight
<J3anyus> i was coming home and decided to check my mail, even though i wasn't expecting anything
<J3anyus> opened it up, and there was a little envelope
<J3anyus> opened that up, inside was a "FREE SAMPLE FROM TROJAN CONDOMS!"

#19710
SpinalArchitect: OMG WUT R U GAY?
cochese04: Naw, I just sleep with guys to remind myself of how much I hate it

#44392
Darika Senokah:  HEY WILL
Darika Senokah: GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS :D
KUSWIL: MAY 7TH!? D:
Darika Senokah: xD
Darika Senokah: Yes but
Darika Senokah: It is also
Darika Senokah: NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY :D
KUSWIL: ...
KUSWIL: Interesting. :o Just before Mother's Day.
KUSWIL: Think about that for a minu- NO ON SECOND THOUGHT DON'T. XD;;;
Darika Senokah: XDDDDD!!!
Darika Senokah: Omg, you are a HORRIBLE person.
KUSWIL: You're just realizing this? :D
Comment: May 7th is National Masturbation Day!

#19972
HolyViper7: do i go outside and run, despite the fact it is 100 degrees fahrenheit and sweat my fucking balls off.....
HolyViper7: or do i sit inside and look at porn?
HolyViper7: toughie...
Lotach: tough decision
Lotach: either way you get sweaty

#297319
<Samael> IRC i've found is a drinking game in disguise.
<Samael> everytime someone talks
<Samael> you drink
--- Ceo has changed the topic to: IRC: A drinking game in disguise.

#1450
<buq> Intra - do you have any other stuff that is on the same basic level as moby?
<phatkro> No one is on Moby's level
<phatkro> He's stuck on level 3, world 7 of the original Super mario Bros.

#46107
<Wookie^> hmm ouch
<Wookie^> not great headlines side by side
<Wookie^> British Media Delight In London's Joy
<Wookie^> Blasts Hit London, Capital In Chaos

#30095
<RuKK> my left nut itches
<Feragho> you know i just realised
<Feragho> my left testicle is bigger than my right one
<RuKK> yeah
<RuKK> mine are a little different too
<Feragho> amazing things you realise whilst scratching your nuts
<RuKK> yep
Comment: #serioustraders @ dal.net

#19812
<whitelightning> suck my nipples
<teh-kitteh> WL: huh?
<BlackIce> wl: ask geo
<teh-kitteh> he's at work though iceh :)
* whitelightning runs off for Geo
<whitelightning> wow!
<whitelightning> he's got a mouth like a hoover
<BlackIce> wl
<BlackIce> that's not geo
<BlackIce> that's a hoover

#45624
<snu`> i registered for fall classes
<snu`> >_<
<snu`> Chem 251, Eng 101, Math 113, Engr 107
<synth> ......YOU'RE TAKING ENGRISH?

#42992
[@WhipSmart]: for every story you hear about a dog saving someone's life, there are probably a million where the dog just sat there and watched them die
Comment: Quakenet #funchat

#35201
<Rjx> A wise man once told me that my main flaw was that I cared too much about other people's feelings
<Rjx> ironically, I told him to fuck off
Comment: #emulation64

#1314
<Tektrnica> i got roller blades
<Tektrnica> they have orange on them tho :P
<Tektrnica> fawking raverblades

#61924
<MadMax> Which is a better question to spend time and money thinking about:
<MadMax> How was the universe created?
<Catch-22> or, Are those real?

#1636
<DragonRe> gabe: what i did to you was love goddamit
<gabe> maybe in alabama.

#23077
<Kevyn> Woohoo, girls college softball on ESPN2.
<Kevyn> I think it's college. There's NCAA logos everywhere, but these girls look fourteen. Score!
<Pedro> Is that Jennie Finch girl pitching?
<Kevyn> I don't know. I have it on mute.

#182384
<Zepheric> wow... was playing Tf2 and a guy joined named Barack Obama, then he started telling people why they should vote for him
<Zepheric> so we vote kicked him

#306066
<izua> are you a prophet?
<clueless> yes
<izua> show me your prophet license
<clueless> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<clueless> ^    LICENSED PROPHET    ^
<clueless> ^        CLUELESS        ^
<clueless> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<izua> dammit.

#4162
<Rhelik> our conversation about having to recompile PHP is the equivilant too
<Rhelik> lex:"my car won't start"  rhelic:"it needs a new starter"  lex:"so how do i fix it?"  rhelic:"get a new starter"  lex:"does that mean i have to get one?"  rhelic:"are you an idiot?"
<Rhelik> lex: stop bitching and just fix it, you sound like a bad girlfriend
<lex> i am a girl

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