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#6892
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN
#57808
<flatface> I had a fucking HORRIBLE monitor for the longest time
<flatface> 14", tube was scratched, picture was fuzzy and fading, the plug was so loose I had to adjust it for 5 minutes every day, one side was partially discoloured, the "frame" was cracked, it was analog, it made a buzzing noise...
<flatface> was there anything else wrong with it, dex? I can't remember
<@robodex> no flat I think you covered it
<@robodex> but let's not forget pornmonitor
<@robodex> the one with boobies burnin
<flatface> That was a monitor I got used
<flatface> and returned in a day
<@robodex> yeah.
<@robodex> you bought a used monitor and it had porn burn in
<flatface> yeah
<flatface> that's after the death of my 14"
<@robodex> I woulda kept it tbh
<flatface> ha
<@robodex> it'd save me a lot of bandwidth :P
#4110
<Ouroboros> Tang is as good as sex.
<ruiner> my sex isn't powdery and orange
#52274
<molo> everything ignus says on join is awkward
<molo> i don't think it has ever been normal
<molo> like
<molo> hi
<molo> or
<molo> sup
<molo> it's always 'my parents just remarried' or 'i dream about sex with my sister'
#3407
<timmo> and it involves a girl named bertha
<timmo> WHO WOULD SUBJECT THEIR DAUGHTER TO THE HORRORS OF THAT NAME
<timmo> 'this is my daughter bertha, she eats villages'
#35843
* Akujin watches porn
<Akasha> aku are you ALWAYS watchin porn?
<Akujin> When your neighbor is a 21 year old chick who masturbates with the blinds open, then yes
Comment: irc.starfusion.org
#45516
<gelfie> stupid cow at work threatened to report me for animal cruelty.
<gelfie> she's chatting in the cubicle next to mine with someone about Atkins. I said I put my cat on Atkins.
<gelfie> she goes on with this spiel about how it'll damage his liver, leech calcium from his bones, ruin his heard yaddah yaddah
<gelfie> stupid bitch. HE'S A CAT. HE JUST EATS MEAT. THATS WHAT CATS DO.
<gelfie> wish I could be there to hear the ASPCA rep on the other end when she calls
#4825
*** Toramo has joined #---------
<Toramo> It's a full house tonight!!!
<Illuvatar> Can I be uncle Joey?
#55926
<eTombotron> i mean, i hope you realize what's going on here.
<SquidDNA> what's going on here, eTom?
<eTombotron> i'm not sure.
#297866
< Brat> I dreamt that my cat had become unsatisfied with all the love and affection that I gave her and that she started looking online at cat "personals", which are really just pages and pages of people's hands in the "cat petting" position, with profile information like "looking for a loving cat to stroke" "SWM looking for classy cat", etc. etc.
< Brat> It ended up with me getting on my knees and promising that I'd give her twice as much attention.
< Brat> :( Then I woke up.
#21145
Mon: its.. kinda funny. O_o
Kadmium: I'm not aware, in fact, of a word that expresses to quite the extent that I require, precisely how funny it isn't
Mon: heh
Kadmium: Merely "bloody awful" lacks a certain vitriol, whereas "fucking dreadful" is just so cliche...
Kadmium: Let's just say that there are tribes in the Amazon forest, as yet untouched by civilization, that have said funnier things on IRC
#30394
(SnapScan): hablais español?
(Picasso-): I would like TWO soft tacos and a large pepsi
#237419
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
#9624
<caspah> I woke up
<caspah> half on the couch
<caspah> half off
<caspah> with no clothes on
<caspah> and a condom next to ther couch
<djcrom> used?
<caspah> yeah
<caspah> BUT
<caspah> my gf left last night
<caspah> she went to a friends
<caspah> my gf wasn't here
<Vapno> was your ass sore?
<caspah> actually yeash
#4521
<Anton> 8mm is a good film as well, but I'm puzzled as to why nicolas cage never got arrested for murder
<Alexander> hes just an actor
<Waldo> damn!
<Alexander> it wasn't real
#34786
<p2p> I was reading some thing this morning about a new condom with a built-in vibrator
<shxrobert> oh great the rubber that makes you come as you put the fucker on
<p2p> the downside is you have to shove the AA battery up your ass
<Gollie> downside?
#44122
<michael`> i mean the whole idea of the separation of powers is that each branch of government will be power-hungry and try to grab as much power as possible by subverting the other two
<michael`> and they all, in theory, work against each other to produce an equilibrium
<Nithos> Heh, so if you're locked in a cage with a ravenous wolf, all you need is a pissed off tiger in there with you to keep you safe?
Comment: #geekissues
#51593
Florgenblorken: did i tell you my cousin ran away
Caracarn52: nope
Caracarn52: Go on.
Florgenblorken: hes like a drug addict and just bad news in general, and he hates his parents. so i hear from my dad last week he ran off with 1200$ and has been gone for about half a week. but heres the fucked up part. he asked me last time i saw him, "hey dude ive been thinking of running off think i should?" and me being an idiot says, "yeah man sure why not" since i thought he was joking
Florgenblorken: whoops
#32523
<pilmut> that hilton movie sucked
<pilmut> i held my load for like 48 hours to release it to that movie
<pilmut> and it was horrible
<NuKeM666> ROFL
<CrazyMF> lol!!
<@_razor> hahahahahaa
#14618
<SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
<type[s]> bah
<type[s]> i'm 22
<type[s]> i think
<type[s]> yeah, 22
#45903
<thinman> we should start a compy porn site, with pictures of computers with their covers off
<@joseph> haha
<@joseph> like furniture porn
<thinman> Choose your fetish: x86 + x86 : x86 + PowerPC : x86 with RAIDs : RAIDs on RAIDs : Macs with two mouse buttons : Barely legal Laptops : Dirty Printer Stories : x86's with DUAL 22" Monitors! : HUGE Floppy insertions : Role Play
Comment: #filter on SlashNET
#3851
<shin_k> rez is great though
<shin_k> just because of how insane it is visually
<shin_k> and w/ a great sound system it will make you CRAP YOUR PANTS
<TURBOMEAT> I don't think I've flat out crapped my pants yet
<TURBOMEAT> but there may have been some subtle fecal leakage, yes
#2390
<TasmBoy> hah that farmer joe guy's funny.. he electricuted himself at the age of 8 now he's dumb as shit
<DAL9000> TasmBoy: what did you do to become dumb as shit?
<TasmBoy> I can't remember
<DAL9000> At least he remembers.
<TasmBoy> you got a point there
#305962
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
#303622
Mike: "now that you all are awake. are there anyone who can help with my problem? I have compressed my important files with md5sum. how do I decompress them ?"