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#10213
<Blaxthos> any fat bitches with inner beauty wanna chat ?
#301260
<Pryoidain> Speaking of Legend of Zelda, I have a good story from last semester.
<Gimpy> Oh?
<Pryoidain> So I bought one of those Ocarina's from thinkgeek this passing summer. It comes with playing instructions and a bunch of other stuff.
<Pryoidain> Including instructions on how to play songs from zelda.
<Pryoidain> well, I woke up one morning and realized I had a midterm exam in a class I hadn't been to in like three weeks. I figure "I'm gonna fail anyways, so I might as well get a good laugh out of it."
<Pryoidain> So I go in, and the prof picks up the exams and asks if there are any last minute questions before the midterm.
<Pryoidain> and I stand up in class and go "MIDTERM?! NO, THIS CANNOT BE!" and pulled out the ocarina and played the song of time on it.
<Pryoidain> The prof actually had to set the papers down he was laughing so hard. he then gave me a 72 hour extension before I had to take it again.
<Pryoidain> Someone else in class asked for an extension, and the prof proceded to chew them out for asking for more time.
<Gimpy> Oh god, the only thing that could make that any better is if someone yelled "DAWN OF DAY ONE. 72 HOURS REMAIN"
<Pryoidain> Well someone did ask if that was real time or game time. Luckily for me, he said real time...
#6967
<kate> you MALE. always wanting to talk about football instead of my menstrual cycle.
#300671
<DCoder> cute
<DCoder> my Amazon.co.uk recommendations consist of C++, Hacking, and Malware Forensics books
<DCoder> ...
<DCoder> and a Zapf Creations Barbie
<DCoder> wtf
#304056
<pherricoxide> walmart.. I tried to hack into their systems during my bored time
<pherricoxide> surprisingly didn't get very far
<pherricoxide> I did manage to screw up my badge once though
<pherricoxide> I entered my badge info into the item database
<pherricoxide> so when I tried to swipe my badge to log into things
<pherricoxide> it.. would display the price instead
-*- pherricoxide was worth $0.99
Comment: #wolf on irc.esper.net
#7901
* Argent- changes topic to '<beth> IRN has visions of me on my knees, cock in hand, looking up with huge brown eyes, saying "m-mister.. are you sure this is right?"'
#2550
<limited7> i have for(n = 1; n < 99; n = n /2) why is it loopin forever?
#3570
*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> lol
<d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT
#54148
<Mivalekan> why are most girls so insecure about their weight
<Produkt> becuase theyre fat
<finn> because they are fat
#2338
* snag giggles
<eldee> for a fat guy you giggle alot
<eldee> or are you misspelling jiggle?
#301350
<Tenoch_> eek an underscore
-!- Tenoch_ is now known as Tenoch
-!- subrime is now known as _
<_> Im free!
Comment: #loveclub@irc.freenode.net
#8727
<Afterglow> I remember when i was leaving for university my brother told me, "If you come back a goth I'll kill you".
<Jon_R> my brother just said "If you come back I'll kill you"
<Linguica> my brother said "come on my back or i'll kill you"
#12008
<@RuebiaYat> GoodScrat: has God spoken to you lately?
<@GoodScrat> I don't talk to myself
#28680
larry <AUTO-REPLY> : sleeping so i can go to harlem 2morrow before werk... if im not at work by 12ish... call for NYPD help... code 412... white boy lost in harlem
#299822
<^Migs^> something really weird happened to me last night
<^Migs^> So I'm just sitting up in my room, right? It's about 11:30, I'm on my laptop, and the doorbell rings.
<^Migs^> I'm like, wtf, but figure it must be a neighbor returning my cat or something dumb like that.
<^Migs^> So I answer the door, and this mentally handicapped kid just barges in.
<^Migs^> He's about 13 or so, and he's just frantically looking around. He tells me I have a nice house, wants something to eat, says he returned my cat, then gets distracted by something in the kitchen, all within about 5 seconds. The kid has an attention span of about 3 seconds.
<^Migs^> I actually recognized him from church. He has some sort of palsy, but I couldn't remember his name, so I have no way to contact his parents, and I don't have a clue where he lives.
<^Migs^> Meanwhile, the kid is just tearing through my house, asking me about everything he sees. He offers to clean my family room, turns on my wife's laptop, plays with the baby toys, asks about the Wii...just anything you can imagine.
<Biff> how did he find you?
<^Migs^> I was just the random house he picked.
<^Migs^> It took a lot of convincing and keeping him focused. But finally I get him to call his sister on the phone. He refused to call his mom, because "she was asleep" but I guess his sister was okay.
<^Migs^> So I get his sister on the phone, and get an address from her, and tell them I'll drive him home.
<Biff> he was that far from home that you had to drive him?
<^Migs^> Well, I open the garage door, and try to coax him into my car. He gets all upset over this, and says he'll just go to some other house.
<^Migs^> He was about 6 blocks from home.
<^Migs^> Anyway, he bolts out the door, and starts running down the street. So I get in my car to chase after him.
<^Migs^> Fortunately, the police were out searching the neighborhood for him, too, and they managed to catch him down at the corner, so I didn't have to go very far.
<^Migs^> They called his mom and told her where we were, so we all just hung out and waited. Apparently, it's not the first time he's done this, since the cops knew him quite well.
<^Migs^> The family locks the doors and stuff, but this time he got out through the doggy door.
<^Migs^> Best. Facebook status update. Ever.
#2601
<async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your performance in bed
<Violus> woah, sweet
* Violus installs ICQ
#300877
> telnet mx.wp.pl smtp
Trying 212.77.101.4...
Connected to mx.wp.pl.
Escape character is '^]'.
220 mx.wp.pl ESMTP
ehlo mx.wp.pl
250-mx.wp.pl
250-PIPELINING
250-STARTTLS
250-SIZE
250-X-RCPTLIMIT 100
250-XMAS
250 8BITMIME
xmas
250- .
250- :.
250- :::..
250- _=:=;.
250- ..:=====.
250- ..=_==|<%%|=;.
250- . .::=i+<|ii|>:.
250- .-:==>||||%|I|>=:.
250- .;inSeil={oov|:
250- .:+i%<a%vc=|i=|=:..
250- --::{vd1nXe{eli|=.
250- . . =|iv+s;<oai||>:.
250- .--====cI(<vZZSIl|{>=;.. .
250- .__|+iuXwav>n1|wsav>l=- -
250- ..=+<vZ{mZ%vvqu>|{I=_;..
250- :=is>I*1vd8ll|>1|+=; .
250- .:ivnmZ1ei>Y>ioXsoI+~:.. .
250- .._<nco1isvua<>=+<}{i===|~-- .
250- .--^"!~)XiI3##mmmXS%1iiv|=; .
250- _=<vvc21+YYliwqm2vs> .
250- .._|%nXIlvuo>_;>iIY(>i=|i==:.
250- .;:=<onmnY2Z###mmuqo2*|=vXc=::.__.
250- . _=I1<s=|vv>i||||<saavsi|=i+-.
250- . =||ivoZme*voIv%1X###X21l|_;
250- =|=|iIYY1vnXXmumowqon3YS>_>=:. .
250- -+ilu1=c|ivvXXUVVY!+<==as%>|i||;- .
250- .==--=+*<I}{oIivi=aaommmXI>- .
250- =|||vswzvi%scawav%*$#UUCY1Sl;..
250- :__i%II||lvXX#W#mmesswmav|vnvv|;_..
250- .<l%{XXso%{c{1l*1cvmWWWmXommniI=;;__
250- __;=_,_:;_3XXmQqwwZYsaaII?Yov1|>]oi>=:
250- .:==liICana%vin2nXY1}<ommWmXouWhi=isv;.....
250- ={vvnv2XXZUX}*++!XsdY$#11SY*+=:||+|{>+--+|.
250- .-invv1*3llvu=%==={nom#oo|||vuaXovIi=;|+:-
250- --=no=|ilncvSnuwi<lvi||Innd#Xe"+-----
250- -"^--.-++- -<n>um!""+||~~3^
250- ~:3#
250- ~
250 ok
quit
221 mx.wp.pl
Connection closed by foreign host.
Comment: merry xmas from smtp
#29036
<Daisuke> yea, sucking cocks is fun
<Daisuke> that came out wrong
#54010
<Sara> I've discovered that there are certain things that I just can't say without people saying "No, it's just not right when you say it"
<Sara> Like I'm too nice and innocent or something :/
<The_Taped_Crusader> sara
<Sara> hmm?
<The_Taped_Crusader> just imagine your dad saying "lol hax" and you'll understand.
<Sara> Oh god
Comment: dchub://404hub.no-ip.com
#162336
<aq> are you using Adium still?
<ChrisKite> When I use OS X
<ChrisKite> but right now OS X is wiped from my iMac
<ChrisKite> lol
<ChrisKite> I just have XP
<aq> :|
<aq> That's like an exorcism gone wrong!
<aq> It's like you tried to cast out the demons, but accidentally cast out the soul instead...
#30510
<Dilbert> if i press in on my bellybutton real hard, i feel a tingling in my penis
Comment: #dcemu - irc.cheatlist.com
#17115
<felix> we're gonna start a band called "rsync", right?
<felix> OH BABY YOUR FILES ARE CHANGING BUT NO
MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T KEEP UP, SO I'M REARRANGING AND
TRYING CVSUP, BUT IT'S JUST NO GOOD. SO I SIT DOWN AND THINK....
THEN YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME AND GIVE ME RSYNC
#6754
<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today
<Wed> The screen
#138
<BlackDeth> ITS SLOW AS A 30 FOOT SHIT COMING OUT OF AN ANT''S ASSHOLE
#11098
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175