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#35140
<_Sarah_> sorry, had a little visitor in a red sleeper show up
<Jason> is that code for your period?
<_Sarah_> LOL!
<Jason> ive bought tampons before, i know all about them
<_Sarah_> no.. it was my son, he got out of bed.. heh
#231855
<sara> FUCK I THINK I BURNED
<sara> WELCOME TO FACEBOOK
<sara> INTO MY SCREEN
#31951
* Haplo gets a knofe
<@Haplo> knife
<@Haplo> knofe...
<@Haplo> where the hell did that come from
< HighlordThunder> thats an i/o-error
#261528
<Blimey> hmmmm shall i have another cup of tea?
<Blimey> or is that a bit drastic?
<Blimey> what the hell, you only live once....
#51634
<f1agrant> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident.
#280685
<purriah> She knows you're wanking.
<Foxhill[away]> of course she does, she still washes the sheets
<Foxhill[away]> i remember her saying that to me one day when picking me up from school
<Foxhill[away]> 'you're a dirty lil boy'
<Foxhill[away]> 'huh? what?'
<Foxhill[away]> 'i wash your sheets remember'
<Foxhill[away]> 'err'
<Foxhill[away]> 'no more watching the german channel'
#60330
<evilAdmin> ...
<evilAdmin> Never seen that one before.
<evilAdmin> Got back from meeting with a friend, who wanted to show me some $35K Server systems in a datacenter basically underground downtown that he is a part of.
<evilAdmin> During the tour, I'm like "Dude- is that a pizzabox inbetween those 4U servers?", and he's like "Yup. Want some lunch?". Pulls the box out, grabs a slice. I already ate, so I passed.
<evilAdmin> He says that the $20K 8x Opteron boxes generate lots of heat, and thus keep the Pizza warm.
<evilAdmin> I'm like "Don't Oppies have PowerNow or some AMD cooler shit?", and he's like "Yeah, but we run SETI/Prime95 to keep the pizza hot".
<evilAdmin> :\
#579
[06:26pm] <shmoo> did you know if you deleate stuff you get your giggabytes back?
#46698
-dmwaters- {global notice} Hi all.... erm, that netsplit was my fault.... I accidently killed the wrong process on the wrong box. I'm very very sorry for that... Thank you for your patience, and thank you for using freenode...
#8481
<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on the shitter.
<Kaff> how is that a pumpkin
<mmm> gross
<Kaff> how is that normal.
<Kaff> who does that
<Kaff> I WANT NAMES
<Kaff> (and numbers)
#8241
<Spellweav> how much of your time to you spend hoing?
<Freaksh0> you mean fucking or pimping other chicks ?
<Spellweav> no..chicks in general
<Spellweav> how much in vitro time for your experimental probe
<Spellweav> on the whole
#252356
xexyz: I don't think there are NATO specs for Nerf ammunition
#297077
<Erik> First catch from a dating site stopped replying because I was being "too intellectual".
<Erik> Second one thought I was "too good for her".
<Erik> Third one rejected me because I mentioned I enjoyed Dragonlance novels.
<Erik> Oh well, can't stop now.
<dd7> erik's finally coming out of the basement
#14983
<bring> My mom, out of the blue
<bring> asked me if I ever thought of joining the army
<bring> and was like "I don't approve of that, but you might like it" and I was like "approve of what?" so she was like "you know, killing people"
#46632
<farax> I'm tired of all the bad spelling in this channel.
<farax> I have a dictionary script to kick people who mispell anything.
*** farax has been kicked by farax (Mispell -> Misspell)
#134635
[xexyz] --- sdf.lonestar.org ping statistics ---
[xexyz] 2 packets transmitted, 32 packets received, 0% packet loss
[nooper] lol
[nooper] damn
[xexyz] that's what is commonly referred to as "Voodoo Networking"
#68398
TrogL> the person handing out official photo id will not give you your official photo id unless you have your official photo id
TrogL> 3 people are trying to get her to see the catch-22 and she's not getting it
[...]
TrogL> the lady with the ID's gave up and is now handing them out at random
TrogL> she's not even checking to make sure the picture matches
TrogL> apparently I'm a skanky blonde
TrogL> the guy next door's picture shows him bleeding profusely from a head wound
TrogL> gotta love low-bid contractors
#27216
<Fig> Sooo, what is 'mk'?
<tetsugin> mk = ok - o + m
<Fig> I just remebered why I quit algebra.
#1049
(s|urpee) haha yuh me hakz0r the university gibson
(s|urpee) one day
(s|urpee) I was like hakz0ring it and stuff
(s|urpee) and I was like emailing support@cc and shit
(s|urpee) and then he emailed me back and told me to notify the lab guy that the comp next to me needed rebooting
#82761
<bebop> watch hentai
<bebop> and take notes
<pingu> i was hospitalized once for trying something i saw in a hentai
#50815
<+mahangu> i have a theory
<+mahangu> linux geeks are better in bed
<+mahangu> seriously, take a guy who spends _hours_, even _days_ troubleshooting his ethernet card
<+mahangu> isn't he going to be more likely to find the clitoris?
Comment: #freenode on irc.freenode.net
#28826
<PhoenixUltima> Why the hell do you think people believe in Jesus?
<terra> BECAUSE JESUS EIGHT NINE!
#27099
<@Khel> haha, I just went upstairs, got a plate out of the cupboard, got pizza out of the fridge, then left the pizza on the bench and microwaved an empty plate for 2 minutes
<@Khel> gg me
<@tung> haha you suck
<Lithios> hahahaha
<@tung> at least you know the plate is clean now
<thrax> lol thats nothing, unwrapped a mars bar, and threw it in the bin and tryed to eat the wrapper.
<Parag0n> ROFL !!!!
#5379
<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you
#35233
<J3anyus> sweet jesus i need to get motivated to finish up this semester. there's only 3 weeks left and i just can't get the motivation to go to class or do homework or anything :(
<GeechyAFK> Con someone into giving you a blowjob for every passing grade you receive
<J3anyus> brb, calling mom