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#311656
<Wifemaker> who else would love to be transformed into a cute little housewife?
<TungstenCarbide> what happens to the extra mass?
<leanna{NL}> turns into energy
<leanna{NL}> thats why youre a HOT cute little housewife
#17183
<_ENiGMA_> Fuckin telstra
<_ENiGMA_> They ring you up, and dont say who the fuck they are and expect you to know they are telstra
<_ENiGMA_> "Hi its sheryl here from the paramatta faults center, have you had any problems since the 26th?" ... "Umm well yeah, I've been constapated a few times and seem to wake up with erections... but aside from that Im fine"
#59780
<Toba> how can you be decidedly and forcefully indifferent?
<est> I DON'T CARE
Comment: #qc
#56192
<thefwf> lent soon
<thefwf> this is where my amazing plan comes in
<FSR|Meatwad> yeah
<FSR|Meatwad> which is
<thefwf> my new years resolution was to give up something for lent
<thefwf> and for lent
<thefwf> i'm giving up my new years resolution
<thefwf> WIN!
#49772
<kyrih> I'm out, cya all!
<DM> me 2
* DM is now known as DM-off
* kyrih is now known as kyrih-off
* merc is now known as merc-off
* logan is now known as logan-off
<jack> well...maybe not
#26339
<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?
#74606
<ecks> I'm so virgin, there isnt even a word to describe how much sex I have not had.
#11825
... signoff!#linuxhelp -> SpamapS(Ping timeout)
... join!#linuxhelp -> SpamapS(~clint@ip-208-252-253-53.muca.asurf.net)
<SpamapS> Guess who can't tell the difference between the monitor's power cable and the *firewall*'s power cable?
#122335
<bp> 'i am legend' should have taken place in west philadelphia
<bp> and ended with the guy moving to bel-air
#56346
<issuez> FYI
<issuez> dicks sporting goods website isnt dicks.com
Comment: #geekissues
#42161
<masteralpher> I WILL RAPE YOUR ANOS FAT BITCH
<masteralpher> STOP IMING ME
<arahi`jr> and cut
<arahi`jr> ok lets go back over that
<arahi`jr> this time spell anus right
<arahi`jr> and action
<masteralpher> send me your pic and i wont to rape your anus then
<arahi`jr> ok cut. brilliant, this time with a little more emotion. maybe all caps again, go back to that. that was working.
<arahi`jr> and roll film
<arahi`jr> action
#29613
<LordByron{l}> I didn't steal nuthin.... I "reassigned ownership"
Comment: ACN #bdsm_dungeon
#73
<ooze> take a hot swedish chick from behind, bend over to her ear. and whisper "i have aids", then try to keep your penis inside of her.
<ooze> thats swedish rodeo.
#22291
<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE than weed
#4525
<drlion> i think all the spam broke my god damn mailbox
<drlion> porn is fucking up the internet
<drlion> and we can do nothing but watch
<RabYak> heh...nice choice of words :)
<drlion> thanks, and i don't mean idiomatically
#9106
<axial> Which are the best PDAs these days?
<Chibby> when girls are kissing guys in the stairwell at school
<Chibby> i think
<Chibby> i have no clue
<Chibby> why do you ask something like that?
<Quinn> That was a really bad one.
<Chibby> well whats a good PDA then?
<axial> ..huh?
<Chibby> you said: "what's the best public display of affection?"
<Chibby> i attempted to answer it
<Quinn> I think ax was meaning personal digital assistant.
<Chibby> OMFG
: Chibby slaps myself
<Chibby> k bye~
<Quinn> I thought you were joking, heh.
<Chibby> persocon is the best PDA then
#61477
<ktek> yesterday some dumb teen on a bike heading toward my car shone a green laser in my eyes, laughing as he rides away
<ktek> so i did a u-turn and went after him
<ktek> he looks behind him as he hears a car coming, sees that it's me and starts booking it down the road
<ktek> i get behind him and match his speed, and he's freaking out screaming like a little girl
<ktek> i lightly hit the gas and hit his back tire, and he flipped off his bike and hits the shoulder pretty hard
<ktek> i stop, roll my window down, see he's okay and i laugh and take off.
<ktek> now that's a good day
#8993
<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!
#95266
<Skevin> At a former workplace, I tried to google for "python scripting trim whitespace". The page was blocked. I asked the owner of the company (who set up the blocking software out of the box) and he responded with "Animals have nothing to do with your job. Writing screenplays have nothing to do with your job. And I definitely will not tolerate my employees looking at websites of racist organizations."
#21874
<Bismarck>Ok.
<Bismarck>500.000 people watching the game.
<Bismarck>22 players on the field.
<Bismarck>2 referees and the coaches.
<Bismarck>so WHY does the FUCKING BIRD have to shit on MY HEAD?
#41691
<Andenno> My dog just farted, and the cat started looking in disgust.
#22393
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
#40674
<@lucid> I need something to do.
<@lucid> I dont start work until tommorrow
<@PJD> hrmm
<@PJD> watch porn
<@lucid> nah, thats a night thing
<@PJD> order some pizza
<@lucid> im broke
<@PJD> hrmm
<@lucid> hah
<@lucid> I have herb and diet coke
<@lucid> thats about it
<@PJD> go to a mall and tell kids santa claus doesnt exist
#3581
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err .. inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse, I'll be eating it carefully monitored.
#46339
<oneTraicovn> I still think that the porn domain should have been .cum and not .xxx