Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#33811
<motolov> she sure looks like a crazy gal
<motolov> crazy about mcdonalds
#63069
<Hephesus> I think the baby has a fever...
<Trinexx> a fever on a baby is a clear sign of demonic possession, you must remove the heart with a dog skull, then piss inside an empty glass and drink it. Burn the heart. Smear the ashes on your penis. Make hot steamy love to an asian boy.
<Trinexx> be sure to smear molten sugar on the baby's legs and throw it in an antbed once you're done
<Hephesus> or, you know, give him a bath and some medicine...
<Trinexx> NO! DO NOT LET THE DEMON TOUCH WATER!
<Hephesus> what if I bathe him in holy water?
<Trinexx> possibly, as long as the heart has already been removed
#28949
<G3-Game> wtf?
<G3-Game> sco linux license?
<G3-Game> i walk away to grill food
<G3-Game> and the world goes bonkers
#74314
<lundman> could you pull a disk out, and tell us disk size and maker?
<IDC_hirai> The maker is fujitsu.
<IDC_hirai> size is
<IDC_hirai> 16cm x 11cm
Comment: 3am on-call
#236
<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia
#59388
night: which i uh yeah just quit my job........
night: i started to work today
night: and i was just like fuck this
#897
<two-c00l> i met eminem yesterday
<rick^MD> eminem is gay, and i hate gays
<two-c00l> eminem is not gay!
<rick^MD> yes he is
<two-c00l> prove it
<rick^MD> ok... i had anal sex with him last week
<two-c00l> um i thought you said you hate gays?
<rick^MD> oh umm... i was just making sure he was gay so i could prove it to you
#7194
<nit`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
<NGN-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick
#10646
<hybridy2k> how do i give ppl ops with a certain level
<@netwerk> rephrase your question in english before i find an axe and murder your parents
#31333
<C> l22r
<C> er. l33t.
#302544
< shortcircuit> So there's an anime channel I hang out in, with a bot named toobparts. Toobparts is little more than a multi-stage chatbot that will try various means of saying something pseudorelevant to ambient discussion. (Markov is its last-ditch effort.)
< shortcircuit> Somehow, one of the newbies is convinced toobparts is not a bot, and knows where to download anime. Hilarity ensues.
< shortcircuit> I don't know if toober is passing the turing test, or if the newbie is failing it.
#304575
[convo about airport security]
<paul> myself, did you get body scanned or groped
<myself> I walked through gates but didn't step into the federal dick-measurer
<myself> good thing, too; I don't know what maxint is on those things
#307473
<Sanzh> wouldn't penis math be cockulus
<TheDeleter> Prickonometry?
<Schazer> dongrivatives?
<Jacquerel> arithmadicks
#73364
<titan-x> hey everybody
<Lowkey> hey john, where the fuck you been?!
<titan-x> i was in a wreck in my friends car. snow and ford explorers do not go well together
<Lowkey> holy shit
<titan-x> i got alot of morphine though
<titan-x> apparently the first night they had me on the drip i managed to wriggle out of the restraints i had on because they noticed me acting weird after they put me on the morphine
<titan-x> according to the nurse i spoke to, and accounts from my wife after she woke up, i was running up and down the halls, with the morphine IV still attached and the bag dragging behind me
<titan-x> and as this was going on, she tells me i was yelling this:
<titan-x> "THE COMMUNISTS HAVE CONTROL OF GRAND CENTRAL STATION AND THEY WILL BRING THE COMMIE TRAINS TO TOWN! WE MUST WARN THE MAYOR CHOO CHOO"
<Lowkey> w..t..f
<titan-x> that was kindof my reaction when she told me. i really cannot put my finger on that one.
#2713
(zoo0oop) has anyone ever been known to get frostbite from being in a data center for many hours without a hot drink?
#302855
< wombatguy> i'm actually writing a decompiler that turns anything sent to it into a hello world example
< wombatguy> i figure after that I can just reverse the process and voila
Comment: #nesdev
#6369
<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs
<Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce
#29029
<manda> you know, to get a degree, you have to think about something other than your dick for more than 5 seconds
<AchtunG`> i know but its hard
#18873
<dave2> BEING SEVEN IS SO LONELY
<dave2> I CAN'T BAG ANY CHICKS BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE COOTIES
#16267
<MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion when i fart
<MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
<mrwhite> hahahahhaha
<MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
<mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
<MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
<MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience here
#7326
<JtHM> chick + tat = filthy
<JtHM> any girl who has a tat is a whore. if I've learnt anything from pron, that'd be it
#30645
* +Yardbomb tries to make his cat swear fealty.
<+Yardbomb> my arm is bleeding :(
#8691
<^_^Sasha^_^> im unzipping ma pant
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> wait a second
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> Does Allah know you are fucking an american?
<^_^Sasha^_^> yeah he knows everything
<^_^Sasha^_^> He
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> so is he cool with it?
<^_^Sasha^_^> no:|
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> oh, so do u want 2 stop? allah might get mad
No such nick/channel
Session Close: Sat Jun 08 02:05:24 2002
#60772
<Vagrant|BRB> I was talking to this girl in my class about this fight she had with her brother.
<Vagrant|BRB> And she said, " I was so mad, I could of just fapped in his face. "
<Vagrant|BRB> I swear, at least five heads -- all guys, I might add -- turned to look at her. She looked confused, like she had no idea what she said.
<Vagrant|BRB> And I'm like, " ... what'd you say? "
<Vagrant|BRB> " Fap. You know. Hit. "
<Vagrant|BRB> All of the guys who turned around to look at her, me included, just sort of tittered and shared guilty glances. To this day, she has no idea why.
Comment: #FurNet
#706
<dkl> The Sudanese Arabs which posses some of the largest penis's in the world, practice this method from the point of puberty. Fathers would send their son off to a trainer who would perform milking (jelq) to the young man for 30 minutes every day. This milking exercise forces blood into the penis, repeatedly engorging the penis with blood. Over the course of several months, the blood spaces in the penis became larger, being able to hold more blood, which in
<dkl> Over a period of several years, some of the men's penises became larger than 18" in length and 10" in circumference.