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#29135
<kooKyGuY> i hate error boxes that wont go away even when i click cancel
<kooKyGuY> telling me there is no dick in the cd rom after i took the disk out heh
<kooKyGuY> i dont wanna have toput it back in to make it go away
<FourOhFour> If your drive complains about a lack of dick...
<Roguer> "<kooKyGuY> telling me there is no dick in the cd rom.." hmmmmm
<FourOhFour> ...I don't want to be anywhere near your computer :-D
Comment: #Trillian on BeyondIRC

#296679
<@impossible> my buds and i share dedicated server hosting
<@impossible> so we all paypal our one friend for the monthly payment
<@impossible> so for the last four months it's been paypal messages like, "less teeth, more attentino to the balls"
<@impossible> and he got an email today saying his account has been permanently closed for adult services, which is a violation of paypal usage

#1423
<katers> my fucking roommate
<katers> needs to stop being a ho
<katers> or cut me in on the action
<katers> one or the other.

#7454
<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable

#9070
<piccchic4ever> oh boy
<piccchic4ever> listen to some of the email's i got today
<piccchic4ever> Lose weight with hypnosis!!
<piccchic4ever> Get FREE Condoms, Lube, T-shirts and more!
<piccchic4ever> why is tshirts in that sentence?
<GoalMstr22> haha
<GoalMstr22> to wipe yourself with

#6935
<rayena> Oh great.. I'm covered with salad again
<michael> Lesbian salad wrestling, on the next Jerry Springer

#306405
<goretext>so when I was in HS, I would hack the wifi with my ipod.
<goretext>the school caught on so they started looking at the ipod names to try and figure it out.
<goretext>every 3 days i would change its name to "(insert popular girls name here)'s iphone"
<goretext> 3 of them were suspended before i stopped
<wedge> oh god, that's funny.
<goretext> it won me class clown.

#166066
<Jolt_Rogue> Long, tech explanation,
<Jolt_Rogue> or short simple one?
<Star_Ringer> medium, layman's terms one for someone who sort of knows what you're talking about but not intimately as you
<Jolt_Rogue> So, I'm explaining sex to someone who's seen a lot of porn. Gotcha.

#14753
<morbid> I had this plan
<morbid> i was going to join the band
<morbid> and kill myself, and leave my tuba there.
<morbid> it would explain it all

#5869
<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)

#24627
<brad> i was hoping for a friendly windows way, but i guess i'll look at that
<brad> ...sadly
<brad> ...with puppy dog eyes
<obscurity> Do you plan to give them back to the puppy afterwards?
<brad> hell no
<blue> i spy, with my little eye.. eye pie!
<brad> he can come and take 'em from me
<brad> if he's puppy enough

#36221
<_Dim_> w0000t, just got an email with a picture taken by a mobilephone
<_Dim_> the fun part is, it's an image of the test im getting tomorrow :D

#20781
<psytek> i'm a bash.org virgin
<fook> you've just been penetrated.

#33785
<Mr_X> I'm bi.
<Mr_X> Bi means two chicks at the same time, right?

#51011
<pmv> How do you escape from a for loop?
<Argue> Make a break for it.

#28320
<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline

#27801
<jwz> I met a guy who was a freshman at berkeley who had just arrived from india, and he said, "I can't take the beggars here seriously.  they have legs."

#46477
<Goat> see?  Look at how cool it is.  That's why i put it as my homepage.
<girl__> Goat: change your nick.  "Goatse?  Look at how cool it is.  That's why i put it as my homepage."
*** "Goat" is now known as "Tub"
<Tub> Girl, I love thee for pointing that out. =)

#2238
<DrWoody> List of things I have accomplished today:
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> That is all.

#21148
<StmChser> anyone here know any good gay pron sites?
<StmChser> er
<StmChser> pay
<StmChser> shi
<StmChser> t

#93971
JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
JonTG> wait, shit

#2566
<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE

#62493
<misterx> Want a pic?
<NoelCower> No.
<NoelCower> Unless it's a dickgirl
<NoelCower> And then only if she has two dicks
Comment: #blitzcoder - irc.blitzed.org

#16793
<`bb20> i have some definition, but i want it to be cut
<`Munky> i can cut you if you like let me get my plastic rusty spoon
<`bb20> hold on...let me get my tetanus shot

#8717
<tobester> woah FIRE
<tobester> bbiab

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