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#28559
<slipvayne> my bro came home while i was wanking
<slipvayne> ah shit
<slipvayne> he brought some friends
<slipvayne> oh god
<slipvayne> i was watching a porno as well
<slipvayne> fuck i hope he didnt see
<slipvayne> OH FUCK
<slipvayne> oh man
<slipvayne> he better not tell my parents
<slipvayne> thats the last time i wear headphones while watching porn
<slipvayne> fuck im off for a shower
#300759
tfpen: kind of ironic that a "full service ad agency" outsources their site
tfpen: unless this is your employer...
nomercy: my entire career is doing websites for people who say they do websites
#31337
<kode54> next quote up is #31337
#28717
<B_Goodin> Self deprecation is always amusing
<B_Goodin> :-/
<B_Goodin> and so is farting
<Mark> especially when you light them
<B_Goodin> KABOOM!
<-- eric has quit (Ping timeout)
<Mark> You blew Eric off the channel!
#304195
<NCommander> Don't let someone with an uncontrolled seizure history give you oral sex
#305429
<@AnnonSSI> ... /google-starts-censoring-bittorrent-rapidshare-and-more-110126/
<@Skitzo> noooooooooo
<@Skitzo> fuck google
<@Skitzo> i'm never going to use another google product again
<@Skitzo> except for my phone
<@Skitzo> and google chrome because it's a rad browser
<@Skitzo> and gmail
<@Skitzo> and gtalk
<@Skitzo> and google search
<@Skitzo> shit
#85592
* Apo[Herpes] is now known as Apo[Heroes]
<+Apo[Heroes]> WHY DIDN'T ANY TELL ME IT SAID HERPES?!!!
<+xpCynic> it looked intentional...
<+Apo[Heroes]> it wasn't
Comment: irc.esper.net #rohmacking
#1950
<Kazz> Wait a minute... something about this is a little... odd...
<Kazz> I believe this woman has more than the recommended amount of penises.
<Brentai> My type of woman.
#14355
<Shelstra> :((
<Shelstra> my poor fishie
<|KazzA|> :o what happened
<Shelstra> nothing but...
<Shelstra> one of his eyes is black
<Shelstra> i think he might be blind :(
<|KazzA|> aww
<Shelstra> we only just noticed it
<Mousey> like it cares anyway
<Mousey> theres not much to see
<staticx> every three seconds it will say 'holyfuck, i can only see out of one eye...'
#159501
Starlights59: dude
Starlights59: i just got rickrolled by fucking drugs
Starlights59: i'm under the influence of stuff right and then like
Starlights59: out of nowhere
Starlights59: rickroll starts playing in my head
#52444
rancor1985: this porn sites 404 error is in spanish
pez805: OMG YOU CAN SEE HER PAGINA
#35419
<MrDelayer> i'm lazy and suicidal
<MrDelayer> someone slit my wrists for me
#3371
<josho> A FUCKING GAY CLUB
<josho> HOMOS WILL TOUCH MY FUCKING FLYER
<josho> this is a NIGHTMARE
<josho> where's my time-release cyanide capsule of death
<Guilty> Now josh, you arent gay from homo's touching a flyer you made
<Guilty> Unless said flyer is a picture of your dick
<Guilty> Which knowing you, it might be
#7484
<Chrizto> this unix shit is never going to catch on at this rate.
#3326
<skmt> DigDug, if you install a beaded seat cover, the value of your car will skyrocket
<SD_Washu> nah
<SD_Washu> all you have to do
<SD_Washu> is keep a big ol brick of heroin in the trunk
#279763
<Infidel> hey i have about 50+ foreighn ips connected to my comp
<Infidel> should i be worried?
<Sky> what port, what protocol?
* Infidel hat die Verbindung getrennt (Ping timeout)
<Sky> yes, you should be worried.
#24260
Geeky Weezer Fan: "Did you see X2?"
onkeybutt87: Jean Grey's hair in that is awesome
onkeybutt87: I totally wish I were a girl so I could have hair like that
onkeybutt87: and, in a related story, I'm straight
#7359
* stormo is potentially cosplaying at manifest this year
<DannyS> stormo: you'll still lose all respect
<DannyS> i mean, it's like voluntarily going out in front of traffic and ramming a set of computer speakers up your arse
<DannyS> except the latter gets you more friends and respect
#29806
<Kevlor> I finally found out where ugly people come from.
<Jaayy> Where?
<Kevlor> Ugly babies.
<Jaayy> And where do Ugly babies come from?
<Kevlor> Ugly people.
<Jaayy> You realize you're a dumbass right?
#11122
<Super_User_2> the very first time I practiced driving I scared the shit
out of my dad. It was a manual transmission truck. I had it in first and
tired to shift, but the timing on the clutch was fucked up and it just
spun, but the pedal was lighter then I thought and I floored it. The
truck sounded like it was doing 90 and my nervous laugh sounded maniacal.
He just screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as we moved about 1/2 mile an hour...
he drove home.
#7148
<_Rojo_> I want to compile her kernel
<_Rojo_> christ
<_Rojo_> computer-geek foreplay
#7419
<elite_chaR> butcher im sitting like right behind you at lanwar :D
<elite_chaR> SO NO FUNNY BUSINESS
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD NOISES
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SMELLS
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SPELLING
<butcher> dude, too late, I just f4rt3d
<butcher> that's a wierd noise, a weird smell, and a weird spelling.
#295050
<AT_5193> i've got a kitty footwarmer
<@Illwen> Let's not talk about cats please.
<AT_5193> i've got a common-house-pet-that-is-not-a-dog footwarmer
#242915
AzuiSleet: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ortzinator: is that a "penis caught in zipper" scream or a "omg i just lost 3 hours worth of code" scream?
#41979
<ToiletDuck> Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road.
<ToiletDuck> As I go in the washroom the first stall is taken so I go in the second stall.
<ToiletDuck> As I sit down I hear a voice from the next stall...
<ToiletDuck> "Hi there, how is it going?"
<FTW> .....okay
<ROFLcopta> riiiiihgt
<ToiletDuck> I'm not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do so finally I say: "Not bad..."
<ToiletDuck> The voice says: "So, what are you doing?"
<ToiletDuck> Talk about your dumb questions.
<ROFLcopta> ...
<ToiletDuck> I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm just going to the bathroom, then I'm going back east..."
<ToiletDuck> Then I hear the person say all flustered:
<ToiletDuck> "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question - this idiot in the next stall answers me..."