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#4860
<cheerio> i like computers better than chicks cuz they will willingly accept my 3.5" floppy
#1896
<gaspump> It takes more than tits to impress me.
<gaspump> Lord knows everyone in here should already know that.
<Richard_D_James> It's hard to masturbate to intelligence, though.
#42192
<Evo|utioN> for bots
<mutante> what about it
<Evo|utioN> need
<mutante> please form sentences
#39053
<ASM57> im confused, whats the difference between router/switch/hub?
<David-63> www.google.com
<ASM57> dave
<ASM57> google it for me please
<ASM57> and then give me the link
<Bog> andrew, the router routes
<Bog> the switch switches
<Bog> the hub doesn't hub though
<ASM57> Bog, you're no help
Comment: #HotHardware on irc.UltraPresence.net (RigNet)
#49668
ballplaya4537: holy shit dude
ballplaya4537: so my brother and i smoked up last night
ballplaya4537: and he was so high that he left all the weed on the kitchen table
ballplaya4537: and my dad found that, his bong, and his two bowls
cdawzrd: hahahahahaha
cdawzrd: sucks for him
ballplaya4537: no no no no, not that best part
ballplaya4537: so my dad knocks on his door(which is right across from mine)
ballplaya4537: and i hear if you ever do that again, you are out of the house and were not sending you to college
ballplaya4537: and then
ballplaya4537: about thirty seconds after:
ballplaya4537: AlexC2907: dad just gave it back
ballplaya4537: AlexC2907: do u wanna smoke tonight
Comment: on AIM
#300291
<Fox> I disrupted a town hall meeting today with a simple question, the one I was looking for last night.
<Fox> Totaly threw all the old fearmongers off track
<Kein> lolwut?
<Fox> yeah, I tried going to a town hall meeting, which takes place at sea world here every couple weeks or so...and I seemed to be the only one trying to argue and promote facts instead of fearmongering bs
<Fox> it was mostly old people and rich looking guys in suits
<Fox> so this time when I went in and they refused to listen, I asked a question, sounding as serious as possible
<Fox> the question? "has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
<G-Flex> hahahaha did you seriously say that
<Fox> I had to write it down to remember it right, but...it sounds like a legit question
#53593
iReima: That reminded me of that one time
iReima: where I wanted to get this job at a kiosk, selling phones
iReima: the guy was all like
iReima: "Alright, how old are you?"
iReima: "....19. NO WAIT, 20!"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Lmao
iReima: "...I'm not gonna get the job, am I?"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Yeah, I did that during one interview
MitsukaiSiryuse: I stared at the guy
MitsukaiSiryuse: And went ".....Uh......"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "Hold on, let me calculate it real quick...1985......17"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "I should just walk out, shouldn't I?"
iReima: We fail, my friend
#16590
<setuid_w00t> KT: and you act like you're six
<KT> setuid_w00t: how else is a 21 yr old supposed to act like?!
<setuid_w00t> don't ask me, I'm only 20
#37550
<dooky> oh and get a bucket of paint and slop it all over her car
<MSIGuy> Yeah.
<Stonefish> dooky: Glue it on the hood, like a Mack Truck bulldog
<Inept> Crazy glue the dildo onto her hood where the hood ornament should be.
<dooky> gluing the dildo do the windshield was a good idea
Comment: who needs keys when you have a dildo and epoxy
#40040
<Gohanmastaflex> Uni constantly hears his parents having sex because they can't understand the concept of "sound"
<KitBoxPocket> hahahha
<KitBoxPocket> on the plus side
<KitBoxPocket> when he eventually gets a girlfriend he'll know what to say
<KitBoxPocket> <Uni> Ohhh yeah, right there [Uni's mom's name]. <Uni's g/f> ...my name is Sharon, asshole! *slap*
<Gohanmastaflex> hahahaha
<Nyschashi-Seikun> no, more like <uni> Oh yeah! there! [Uni's dad's name]
<KitBoxPocket> bahaha
<Nyschashi-Seikun> ;/
<KitBoxPocket> we're so fucking mean to uni
<Gohanmastaflex> <Uni> Harder! Harder! Don't stop, [Uni's sister's name]!
<KitBoxPocket> >_<
<KitBoxPocket> Uni's sister is like 7, man
<Nyschashi-Seikun> that's what makes it so funny
<Gohanmastaflex> Uni's family doesn't celebrate Christmas
<Gohanmastaflex> they celebrate Straponmas
<KitBoxPocket> I can feel my soul turning blacker the more I hang out with you guys
#7547
[Izazael] when ryll dies, we should cremate him and put his ashes in a coffee filter
[Izazael] mmm nescafe goth blend
#3027
<@MF_Nazi> I bet Rob wants to date a girl named Rob so he can scream his own name during sex
#44332
Ajlax1872: my dick has like this bubble on it, pretty small though...i dunno what to do.
ROFLMFAOCOPTER99: you were the one that got poison ivy on your hand when we went on the hike right?
Ajlax1872: ...
Ajlax1872 signed off at 9:25:31 PM.
#79226
<Ishi> This sucks.
<Ishi> I started seeing a doctor a few months ago. Apparently I have an anxiety order and severe depression.
<Ishi> I've been on 8 or so drugs for depression and anxiety, right?
<Ishi> And its either hit or miss
<Ishi> And the miss usually involves me violently throwing up 8 times in one day
<JediKirby> From the drugs or because you're fat?
* JediKirby was kicked by Ishi (Learn to not be a wanker)
Comment: irc.zirc.org #Massassi
#14031
<Pepper-> "Dear valued customer, it appears you have attempted to transmit data through your modem. Here at iiNet, it is our policy to stop all outgoing traffic from client's computers, as it encourages rampant misuse of our outragesouly overpriced and underserviced internet accounts. Please refrain from doing this in future, and thank-you for your continued support of our company."
#10859
<BigTongue> man, look at this slut on the price is right... bob barker is having a viagra attack
#39938
<NuBus> Windows was funny
<NuBus> with the usb keyboard
<NuBus> I plugged it in
<NuBus> A window popped up. Windows has found a USB Composite Device!
<NuBus> Would you like to install the driver?
<NuBus> Installing driver
<NuBus> I've installed the driver!
<NuBus> Windows has found a USB Human Interface Device!
<NuBus> Would you like to install the driver?
<NuBus> Installing driver
<NuBus> I've installed the driver!
<NuBus> Windows has found a USB keyboard
<NuBus> Would you like to install the driver?
<NuBus> Installing driver
<NuBus> I've installed the driver!
<NuBus> Windows gets very excited when things work. It tells me over & over.
<NuBus> "look mum! look what I did huh huh huh I did it huh I did I did!"
<NuBus> on linux I just plugged the fricken keyboard in and started typing.
#39079
<@Wegs> SHOW YOUR VOTE 2004
<@Wegs> IF you support John Howard for Prime Minister, please drive during the DAY with your headlights ON.
<@Wegs> IF you support Mark Latham for Prime Minister, please drive at NIGHT with your headlights OFF.
<@Wegs> Thank you for your participation!
#310890
<Odthin> dammit i just came out of the closet as a grammar nazi
<milaga> they are a little more fun than the grammar marxists
<Odthin> grammar marxist, do they try to share grammatical mistakes with the whole community
<milaga> but not nearly as fun as the grammar maoists
<milaga> who just say lmao whenever you try to correct them
#294673
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words
#6927
<MenTaLguY> You know, the trouble with cocaine is that the "...but I didn't inhale" excuse doesn't work
#19994
<yakk> oh fuck
<yakk> I just realised that the "faith based missile defense" wasn't a joke
#1331
<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.
#297256
<Mr_Nobu> So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...
#37244
<barracuda> i got a letter in the mail that said i've been fired
<barracuda> theres no reason for termination tho
<barracuda> brb
-a few minutes later-
<barracuda> fuck
<barracuda> i got fired for reading bash
<Smithereen> Where do you work?
<barracuda> at church