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#23818
<bLanKer> omg my right hand hurts alot
<bLanKer> what is it called?
<bLanKer> when ur hands hurt b/c of repetative motion?
<|404notfound> masturbation
#514
<Lathari> jack your ethernet into my ass and we'll have ourselves a REAL Lan party.
#15074
<Bryan> I need to find some vanilla cock to drink...
#54336
«+ LassUlike » CTRL + ALT + D1337
#38914
<Hidatoshi> the pizza person FORGOT MY FUCKING PIZZA
<Hidatoshi> he gave me one pizza
<Hidatoshi> and I was like
<Hidatoshi> "Uh where's the other one?"
<Hidatoshi> He looked at the recent and said "Oh shit."
<Hidatoshi> "I'll be right back."
#1628
<reflector> I'm skinny and I have a big nose, but girls still let me touch them sometimes
<Viseus> reflector: Yeah me too. In packed subway trains and stuff
#69910
<@Sid> see
<@Sid> it's possible that she wasn't killed on the third
<@Sid> and she met up with hans reiser a coupla days later
<@HrdwrBoB> true
<@Sid> and he killed her to death in the passenger seat of his honda
<@HrdwrBoB> or transported the body
<@HrdwrBoB> unlikely death in car
<@HrdwrBoB> it would have been messy
<@Sid> then laid the bits of corpse out in the woods in a nice b-tree, for O(log(n)) retrieval later
Comment: irc.ragingfist.net
#33459
<PeteriD> Ah, yes, online insult wars
<PeteriD> It's all fun and games 'til someone's Christian mom finds the logs.
<PeteriD> >.<
Comment: DOH!
#22339
<gorefeend> my bum is all alone :/
#13
<EtherMan> stoner chicks suck
<EtherMan> they're a waste of a perfectly good set of breasts.
#15716
* dpk looks through older messages from af.mil
<dpk> From: TinkerARSMail <TinkerARSMail@tinker.af.mil>
<dpk> Subject: Help Desk Ticket Open Notice
<dpk> Ticket Number TER000000000033, has been "Opened" for problem: OPERATOR
<dpk> ERROR..USER IS MORON...///ABC by the Help Desk.
<dpk> yeah, i checked the headers.. definitely from af.mil
#32197
<Davey_Rootbeer> that's my favorite one
<rainyday> you could always draw a piccy of the person and stab that with a spork
<Davey_Rootbeer> won't work, he'll suck his own blood and grow stronger
<Davey_Rootbeer> we need to put a stake through it's heart
<Davey_Rootbeer> or a steak
<Davey_Rootbeer> so he'll die from calories
<Davey_Rootbeer> or mad cow
#29456
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally
#14061
|bardamu| y'know, sometimes i'm tempted to start a site at www.christianitykills.org detailing stories of christians who went on murderous rampages or killed themselves after praying and stuff
|bardamu| i'd get real controversial and get hundreds of thousands of hits
|bardamu| and then one day i'd pull the plug and replace it with an homage site to myself
|bardamu| surely that would be a good way to get lots of attention
#14336
[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies
#17946
<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a pretty tricky business
#300988
<massacre> Rosti, can I ask you something as a close friend?
<Rosti_LFC> you could ask me something as a complete stranger, but go ahead
<massacre> Do you reckon Emma would go out with me if I asked her?
<Rosti_LFC> errr....
<Rosti_LFC> ask her yourself?
<massacre> no fucking way until I get a second opinion
<Daz> dude she's in the channel
<massacre> no she isn't
<Rosti_LFC> yeah she is mate, look up
<Rosti_LFC> she got op'd yesterday
<massacre> fuck
<massacre> PLAN B
<massacre> spam the channel
<massacre> with text
<massacre> so it goes
<Audia> hi
<massacre> off her scrollback
<Rosti_LFC> ahaha
<massacre> FUCK
* massacre has quit (PLAN C!!!)
<Audia> I'm going to go install Windows 7 right now
<Audia> so I'll be offline for a bit
<Audia> if he gets the balls to come back in here in the meantime tell him the answer is yes
<Rosti_LFC> rofl
* Audia has quit (QUIT)
<Rosti_LFC> that was some hardcore nerd courtship ritual right there
<Daz> Oh man, I wish I could fuck up asking a girl out that badly and still succeed
#14190
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#301075
<Jammy_Stuff> it isn't just an excuse to go drinking
<Jammy_Stuff> it's a social gathering society
<Mabbo> ... so you're like alcoholics anonymous, except that you dont admit you have a problem?
<BunnyII> exactly
<BunnyII> because we don't
#10989
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse.
#300771
[Marcus] : So I'm filling out an injury report for one of our stunt men...
[Greta] : Oh no what happened?
[Marcus] : He busted his nose in a stunt no big deal it happens. But the answers for the questions on the forms...
[Marcus] : How did the employee injure himself: his head was getting pushed into a toilet.
[Marcus] : Would this be a common work place injury: yes
[Marcus] : Statement made by employee: it's ok john, next week I get to hit you with a car
#9027
<Syncope> kris's birth certificate was an apology letter from the abortion clinic
#4623
<lunargirl> Without Uncle Freddy we have to rely on our dildo supply.
<lunargirl> Which dwindles everyday.
<lunargirl> But it's ok, we have a special robot made for us.
<lunargirl> Out of dildos.
<lunargirl> THE PERPETUAL DILDO MACHINE.
<lunargirl> Hello?
#31799
<McDeath> thank god for electricity
<Jake_Edwards> yeah, if it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight
<gower> and how useless would all the power plants be
<conrad> at least you can still use your computer in the dark
Comment: from #qegs
#310127
<mroman_> I should probably read about privacy laws in the US :)
<Jafet> Don't worry, it won't take that much time.