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#27364
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> in my room
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> on my bed
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> they did loom
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> give me head
<sheeps> ok, the last bit was a lie
<sheeps> and I have no fucking clue what loom means but yeah
#39937
[@527] (20528) helf: gah, i was having an awesome dream!
[@527] (20528) helf: it had naken women in it, starcraft and computers
[@527] (20528) helf: but noooooooooo, my dad HAD to wake me up
#51901
<Canadian> so then
<Canadian> parts guy was like
<Canadian> cdn you want to see a naked pic of my wife
<Canadian> and I was like sure if you want to see my home made scat porn
<Canadian> and thats how the rcmp came to my house and put me in jail
<hydrok> canadian
<hydrok> i have one question for you
<Canadian> i had beer for breakfast
<hydrok> ok answered
#309667
<h292zhan> 64-core 192 GB of ram :D
<Mithorium> I'd like 192 GB of ram
<Mithorium> I could open like, 2 instances of Eclipse
<Mithorium> think of the possibilities
#27763
HermitKing: So Star Trek fans are Trekkies, and X-files fans are X-philes...
HermitKing: ...what do you call Buffy fans?
Cat1013: Virgins
#4460
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee. They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING. Flush toilet was in parentheses. So I assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#303787
<femmefan1946> Those drivers have tight schedules to follow. You'd have a hard time flagging one down.
<femmefan1946> Unless you were wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> Heh. I'm male. Though this is Vancouver...it would probably be fairly easy to flag a driver down, if I was wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> It works for my uncle.
#10606
<Gr1nR> I tell girls..."I need a file - but its stuck in this archive named PANTS.ZIP - what should I do???"
#15973
<Fanboy> c00l, 1 l1k3 wr17ing like th1s
<Fanboy> cool.
<PrincessLeia2> heh... fanboy is so 1337
<Fanboy> 1337, what does that mean?
#113631
VampiricVegan: did you know that man is cognate with the sanskrit verb root 'man', meaning to think?
VampiricVegan: so man means thinking being or something of the sort, etymylogically
VampiricVegan: etymologically?
VampiricVegan: etymology means the study of truth
VampiricVegan: so i'm pretty sure it's etymologically, because tymos is truth in greek
VampiricVegan: this has been your language lesson for the day
scythen32: did you know that the chinese common slang for prostitute is "chicken," because they sound exactly the same?
VampiricVegan: the words or the people and animals?
scythen32: yes
#2272
<punkmac> people are dumb
<punkmac> i put my 2 333's on the local for-sale newsgroup
<punkmac> heres what some doofus emails me:
<punkmac> >>Will you sell them separate from each other......In other word do I have to
<punkmac> >>buy both of them?
<punkmac> YES! YOU MUST BUY 2!! THEY ARE SIAMESE TWINS AND CONNOT BE SEPERATED!
<TeamsterX> hah connected at birth by a crossover cable ;)
#16655
<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.
#7018
Topic is 'God made drunks so ugly people could get laid.' Set by Ac3d
<Ac3d> man..i think im getting drunk
#29103
<RickoniX> Ooh, QDB2
<RickoniX> And you get to dig through the un-accepted quotes!!!
<RickoniX> woot
<j4_james> qdb2?
<RickoniX> Yeah, it's either the next QDB, or it's like Gnutella2, a ripoff :P
<RickoniX> It's at http://bash.cx
<Petah> .cx?
<Petah> thats enough to scare me off
Comment: #foogoo on BeyondIRC
#27183
* Joins: cybergeek (~cybergeek@riscy.net-20F8CEF6.cable.mindspring.com)
<cybergeek> help!
<cybergeek> i need to think of something that my g/f and i can do, that doesn't require any amount of nudity
<cybergeek> also must be something that does not involve spending muchos monitos, does not involve revel fires, does not involve frisbee, does not involve Monty Python (cuz i haven't converted her yet)
<Heretic> Cuddle beneath a tree in the warm summer night.
<cybergeek> good idea
<cybergeek> only problem is it rained earlier, so it's all wet now
<Heretic> Get a blow dryer.
#34564
<ChrizzNL> err this is a C++ help channel, right?
<oracel> a what?
<ChrizzNL> what kinda channel is this??
<oracel> a channel for people with the rare blood decease Rhesus C plus (plus)
<ChrizzNL> woops
#8769
<Mat> all chicks are whores, they just charge differently
<Tippytoes> mat do you have a girlfriend?
<Mat> what do you think ;)
<NuTCAsE> i havn't heard him use the word bitch recently
<NuTCAsE> so i'm going with "no"
#14664
<Dejocko> I lose 50 IQ points when i talk to girls, no fair
<GIJosh> you had 50?
#2707
(driz) sometimes i bring my mom on irc
(crystalize) whats her nick?
(driz) i usually give her the nick Coupon_Master
(driz) because we're jewish, etc.
#295258
ressedue: my boss told me yesterday... "I can't believe you told lashunda to not smile because it would mess the white balance up" ;D
#5614
<quatoria> you shat on your daughter? disgusting pervert.
<Plaid> No, you freak. I puked on her.
#23077
<Kevyn> Woohoo, girls college softball on ESPN2.
<Kevyn> I think it's college. There's NCAA logos everywhere, but these girls look fourteen. Score!
<Pedro> Is that Jennie Finch girl pitching?
<Kevyn> I don't know. I have it on mute.
#297051
Andrew to Ryan: Go Home?
Ryan: Yes
Andrew: What does that mean?
Ryan: It's the place with the other computer.
Comment: Overheard two co-workers
#25660
<tito> why can't they make longer-lasting laptop batteries? ;[
<jestuh> why can't they make longer-lasting titos?
<tito> whats that supposed to mean
<jestuh> you know
#21840
<Coota> Hmmm... I'm in a dilemma. I'm in love with accents, especially British ones, but I don't like fat girls. Now, the girl who wants to make out with me *does* have an accent, but she is a little overweight... what to do...
<PatPandaHat> make her exercise before you'll make out with her.
<Coota> Pat: Hee. Tell her I have a minimum PFT score requirement before I make out with a girl? ;)
<Darien> tell her it's a religious thing
<PatPandaHat> "Sorry, I don't do pork unless it's lean."