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#13479
<Powerlord> You mean... you can save your game in ff7pc? And all this time I've been leaving my computer on all night!
#32662
<ruumis> playing metroid on the toilet. man, I knew there was a reason I lived in America.
#8864
<+Sonikku> 10 PRINT "_Bobbi_ is a PROGRAMER!"
<+Sonikku> 20 GOTO 10
<@dixon> Sonikku: what is that ? assembly ?
#119039
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far
#297775
<Pryoidain> Did I tell you guys my cop story?
<asaph> No, Pry.
<Pryoidain> Okay so..
<Pryoidain> I get hungry one day, and I tell my mom I'm heading out.
<Pryoidain> She tells me to pick up a watermelon from the farmer's market while i'm out.
<Pryoidain> So I do, and I notice the KFC across the street is open.
<Pryoidain> Being someone who pays very close attention to gas usage, I make the logical choice and get some KFC.
<cjk> ...oh boy...
<Pryoidain> Yep. I turn down king and flip the radio dial, and during my fumbling I speed up to 55.
<Pryoidain> King is a 45.
<Pryoidain> so I fly by this cop, who promptly pulls me over.
<Pryoidain> The cop...is BLACK.
<Pryoidain> He walks up to the window, and asks the question.
<Pryoidain> "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
<Pryoidain> I just...leaned back so he could see the watermelon and the fried chicken in the passenger seat.
<Pryoidain> the cop damn near pissed himself laughing. He laughed for a solid five minutes.
<Pryoidain> I then...got off...WITHOUT A TICKET.
#6738
<Trog> I pity the english
* Yarn smacks trog
<Trog> they go to all the trouble inventing all these sports.. and then they turn out to SUCK ASS at them
#16253
(neruaL) my mom's computer
(neruaL) just said "hey baby, you've got mail" in some seductive male voice
#10714
<Joe_> <DarkVeng> if you wanna just be a yesman, there are thousands of jobs in corporate amercia that have better hours and better pay for less work <-- where are they?
<Technogeek> Enron.
#300780
gAmmA: Olivia Munn is single
gAmmA: I'm going to California
Axoren: No you're not.
Axoren: You're gonna google her and jack off.
#300803
dargus.kelen: was staring at the sole free outlet on the nightstand, wondering how the hell I was going to plug my laptop and iphone in at the same time
dargus.kelen: then I thought "if the clock has a USB connection, I could use that"
dargus.kelen: then 2 and 2 suddenly equaled 4
#10489
<deimos> what are you installing?
<hep> your mom
<hep> YourMom v.2.4.5
<deimos> wow
<deimos> yourmom kept panicing on me
<hep> she does that deimos
#42851
<beafet> hi rogue-09
<rogue-09> what's shakin
* beafet has quit IRC (QUIT: )
* beafet has joined #fanfilms
<beafet> i just sneezed and closed like 7 tabs
#154996
<sungo> I love resumes.
<sungo> Folks, fucking proofread your resumes.
<sungo> This guy has been a web developer since Aug 2997
<cat-xeger> sungo - novel...
<drforr> I didn't know they will have had web in 2997...
<sungo> if we still have php in 2997, I'm setting off the nukes RIGHT NOW
#34090
<Drathian> does anyone know how to recover a lost sex drive.........
<PsyMar> yeah,try reformatting
Comment: #zebeth dreamIRC
#39171
<testing> asl
<Kangie> ?
<Kangie> no, 56k
#48446
* t|to is out of jail
<t|to> you know what's the biggest pain in the ass there
<FireEgl> Bubba's dick?
#4333
*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood
#308025
<RoKenn> he's sort of like the community pet, he keeps pooing on the couch, but we're too kindhearted to send him to the animal shelter
#306165
<rush> where I come from we measure the hotness of a chick by using a scale which is determined by the number of days she could go without a shower and you'd still stick your tongue in her ass, and she's an 8
#53573
<Ric> *points a gun* spill the beans!
<Ric> or i'll shot!
<SilentAngel> Ric
<SilentAngel> If you're gonna be threatening, at least spell it right
* SilentAngel giggles
<Elbee23> :D
<Ric> *shit
<Ric> *shoot
<Elbee23> "Or I'll get shot!"
<SilentAngel> HAHAHA
<SilentAngel> Third times the charm, hm? :D
#257924
<Orbixx|Work> We just got hold of a workmate's phone as he went out on a break. We composed an SMS to all his contacts reading:
<Orbixx|Work> "I know your secret. Cant talk now. Chat later."
<Orbixx|Work> 3 replies so far.
<Orbixx|Work> He isn't back yet.
<Orbixx|Work> Brace for impact.
#56423
(Nick) hahah wtf
(Nick) girl on tv singing
(Nick) "id like to dedicate this song to my parents. i wouldnt be here tonight without them."
(Nick) NO SHIT LADY
#37678
(SherP) damn
(SherP) i just got head
(SherP) :-D
(SabrWolf) that trick with the cat food worked ?
(SherP) ?
(SherP) die
Comment: sherp is a tool
#73453
<KefkaIIV> I had a dream that you could put Javascript in C++, and I made a code that had a bunch of pop-ups.
<blank> You became a Mozilla developer in your sleep.
#8320
<K-Ecchi> SABER DATED A GUY
<Saber> YOU HAVE NO PROOF
<K-Ecchi> YOU TOLD ME
<Saber> I HAVE NO PROOF EITHER