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#45873
MRFX: that is first pair of breasts I have felt up in a while
Bobart: Having chicken for dinner?
MRFX: yea :(
Comment: /me humps MRFX
#300933
< John_D_Home> Sean M is sick, I'm on the phone with (a client), and everyone else doesn't come in for a while
< John_D_Home> Kristoff is in fact our only hope
< Xtoff> I LIEK BURRRRRRITOOOOOSSSS!!!!1
< cputans> he seems like the perfect person to put your hope in
< cputans> yeap
#33662
<DimaV> Anglophobia - Fear of Englishness
<DimaV> wow, some one in the world there are people scared of men with huge sideburns who shout "God save the Queen!", drink tea and play cricket.
<joe> i'd be scared if i seen one
#14925
<SS|Away|Dreaming|> RUSSIAN ROULETTE - Take your chances. 2:1 odds. Type @pull to see if you win or lose - If you loose you get kicked.
<SPiN|> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<SPiN|> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
Quits: SS|Away|Dreaming| (SierraSoni@AC829966.ipt.aol.com) (Excess Flood)
#34214
<rhraz_w3rk> recession? pshh, i haven't seen one hobo yet!
<ESD-Wyrk> that's cause you need to go outside to see one
<ESD-Wyrk> most of them aren't 'online'
#301633
<HalfNote5> Have you ever noticed that everyone loves a comedy site right up until it's something important to them that's being satirized or made fun of? "I LOVED it when you made fun of Nazis, the KKK, and the Spanish Inquisition, but I'll have you know, as a Rural American Militia member, I'm insulted that you refer to our 'Justice Dorms' as 'Compounds'. I'll never read your crappy site again!"
#5454
«+ Ryutaro » has anyone ever dreamt that they were food that was being eaten?
«+ Ryutaro » I cant find anyone else thats had a dream
«+ Ryutaro » I was mashed potatoes once
«+ Ryutaro » I felt like little bits of me were being swallowed and stuff, it was weird
«+ Ryutaro » then a week later I was jello
«+ Ryutaro » but nobody ate me
«+ Ryutaro » I just stood around jiggling
«+ Ryutaro » this was when I did drugs, lol
#14460
<[oQp]> anyone ever used Delta Airlines here?
<alec_eso> i have
<[oQp]> how is it?
<carlsb3rg> They always come down
#65605
<Burningmace> I had a customer in hysterics today at work
<+KPR> how come?
<Burningmace> Well, we sell lots of things that have different types, so sometimes you can buy assorted packs
<Burningmace> He was buying some flavoured condoms... assorted ones, so the computer automatically prepends "Assorted" to the start of it
<Burningmace> So I put it through and hand him the reciept and he checks it and starts laughing
<+KPR> huh?
<Burningmace> I took a look at the reciept, and because the line didn't fit on the paper, it'd truncated the first word.
<Burningmace> So he'd bought some Ass Flavoured Condoms.
Comment: It's a laugh a minute at Lidl
#141016
<Sephgara> I've always wondered something...
<Xan> What?
<Sephgara> If you stab a fat person, would you get fat on the knife when you pull if out?
<_Celador> Ah a question for the ages
#19612
<DarkSpork> gods, I need to stop sleeping
<DarkSpork> Seriously. Every time I've slept in the last two weeks, I just have these godawful vivid nightmares
<DarkSpork> Last night's actually involved rm -rf / as root. That's actually the best of about 12.
#28310
<antiuser> man
<antiuser> flash is like sméagol
<antiuser> the first time you get a bit worried
<antiuser> the second time it's all nice
<antiuser> then the third time it wants to KILL MASTER
#104366
<TD-Linux> I have the weirdest dreams
<TD-Linux> like, I finally found a girlfriend in a dream
<TD-Linux> then found out she ran an incompatable OS version o.O
Comment: Dreaming at freenode
#29922
<Delusion> I JUST ASKED OUT A STRANGER.
<Delusion> SHE HAS UNTIL FRIDAY TO ACCEPT.
<Delusion> OR UNTIL SATURDAY TO LIVE.
<Delusion> DEPENDING ON THE DECISION.
#35690
<DiKKy> _________________________________________
<DiKKy> / LOL THE HOLY COW WANTS TO COVER U IN \
<DiKKy> | THE FILTYH STINKING SPERM IT CARRIES IN |
<DiKKy> \ ITS GIGANTIC PENIS /
<DiKKy> -----------------------------------------
<DiKKy> \ ^__^
<DiKKy> \ (oo)\_______
<DiKKy> (__)\ )\/\
<DiKKy> ||----w |
<DiKKy> || ||
<Geoffd1> cows are female, idiot
#299757
AstralFire> I am horrified and amused. On the other side of the highway by my house, there is a horse farm. Waiting on the light to change, I realized I was behind a small sedan with a horse-themed license plate that reads "PWNIES."
#22892
<kammerer06>if 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea does that mean the 5th person likes it.
#300358
<Fax> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapeseed
<Fax> because if you write nutrition information labels for a living you need to get your kicks from somewhere
<Fax> I'd totally do stuff like "Polyethylene Monosodium Carbonate (Vitamin A, Vitamin B4, Vitamin lol this doesn't even exist I just made it up...but let's see you eat it NOW. Man I can't believe you're even still reading this. Go outside.)"
<lolfighter> Vitamin lol DOES exist.
<lolfighter> It was an experimental food additive developed in the very late 70s.
<lolfighter> By the early 80s a few human experiments had been made.
<lolfighter> My mother was strapped for cash, so she participated.
<lolfighter> She didn't know she was pregnant at the time.
<lolfighter> I was the result.
<lolfighter> The records were sealed after that and all research abandoned.
#19290
<justin3> I want a a pet rock shaped as the pope
#11918
<neritz> you're not canadian are you?
<Oozeman> =o
* Oozeman stops mid-sip
<perfekt> no, sadly, i'm a nebraskan ;(
<Oozeman> whew
#23887
[ LTMasterPaladin ] btw, if u ever find a trojan stuck up your ass, it's compliments from me
[ +aperson ] OH GOD, ARE YOU GONNA PUT BACK ORIFICE IN MY BACK ORIFICE?
#90232
<john1> hey how do i send a pm? :)
<john1> guys?
<quit> put a / before target's name then your message
*** john1 has quit IRC (like this? :))
<Karg> ...Oh man.
<Karg> That was almost too perfect.
#52969
syuu: still looking for a job?
reima: yeah. no luck so far.
syuu: here. try this one. Dec-20 Fun Fabulous Bookkeeper Wanted (downtown / civic / van ness) <<accounting/finance
reima: what?! 18 to 20 bucks an hour for bookkeeper? Not bad.
reima: wait, it's says "Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender community"
reima: you asshole.
reima: .....
reima: .......
reima: 20 bucks an hour, right?
syuu: I can't believe you're contemplating this.
Comment: *job hunting at craigslist*
#9413
(@Bean): rofl
(@Bean): I asked my g/f too marry me, she took me seriously
#305620
<Gale_> my sister's neighbor is a dumbass
<Gale_> "Look at me, I'm going to have an unsecured wireless network and not change the default login settings for the router!"
<Gale_> My question is should I protect their network and change the login settings on the router just to teach them a lesson, or should I leave it be and let my sister borrow their connection whenever she feels like?
<Gale_> I did that to my neighbor a couple of years ago.
<Gale_> put a password on it and changed the router login info.
<Gale_> The router was in the dumpster a few days later and a new unsecured network showed up at the same time.