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#309120
<chernobyl> Last night, Chewbacca and I were having a conversation in my billion dollar mansion about how much we hate people who lie on the Internet...
<mabus> well there's lying, and then there's exaggerating about your wife and apartment
#25610
<infinitySPZ> In the beginning, God Created man out of his own image.
<Fleebis> Was it JPEG?
#8604
<Atg[M]> Their latest album was going to be called " You are gay" and the cover was going to be a mirror.
#2935
<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny
#305355
(RooRoo) okay so this guy I've known for like 4 years from conventions, has been trying to seduce me via webcam. cause me losing all that weight made him decide that suddenly, I'm a hot chick.
(RooRoo) I made a 'small penis' joke because he took his pants off when I told him not to
(RooRoo) and then he called his dick 'Bruce Banner'
(RooRoo) who is the guy that becomes the hulk
(RooRoo) I busted out laughing
(RooRoo) could not take him seriously at all after that
#305364
<k2OS> whaddayaknow.. it's the end of the world.. Duke Nuke'em Forever is going to be released on may the 3rd...
<k2OS> [link to official site]
<Shusoran> hey Ted, k2
<Shusoran> yeah, finally
<Shusoran> the world will end
<TedEBear> so, where's the betting pool on it not actually coming out? <laugh>
<Shusoran> I'm sure it will
<Shusoran> but I want them to delay it one more time
<Shusoran> and say it's for old time's sake
#25330
<Kethry> Leida, you're more than a trend now
<Leida> what am i now? what can there possibly be above a trend?
<Sensai-Sakiya> god? immortal? person worshiped by all?
<Leida> you are all worshipping me?
<Ibaimendi> I never realized the line between abuse and worship was so thin.
#8329
<a> i wish i had some vr goggles or something
<Loc-Dog> a: for porn?
<a> so nobody could tell i was playing games
<a> games being interactive porn
<Loc-Dog> a: they'd be able to tell when you pulled out the "joystick" to manuever your "character" in the "first person shooter"
<a> Loc-Dog: i use the keyboard.
#84998
<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> "There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]"
#1267
uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause
#7556
<mosey> for some reason porn never shows up in my "my recent documents" quick launch
<mosey> i hate having to wait for explorer to come up
#216681
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it.
#6197
<barkode:#916> i'm a fan of real time irc.
<barkode:#916> not this playing-chess-via-postal-mail-to-uzbekistan irc strategy kubla has
#307521
<UmlautBanana> do we have a y/n bot in here
<SeriousBot> n
<UmlautBanana> okay
<UmlautBanana> ...wait what
#304895
< jMCg> With something's not right I meant: I just measured my temperature, and although I feel hot, it says 34.
< jMCg> I think I should try that again.
< jMCg> Much better results: 35.8
< jMCg> Lets see what it says when I put it in m
< apanek-work> ...
< jMCg> y tea.
#27125
* Quits: Bad_CRC (Quit: IRC, Where the men are men, The women are men, and the kids are FBI agents.)
#5473
<ExCon> ihave one wish b4 i goto army rho :)
<ExCon> op for 1 day :D
<[SuN]> im not that soft :P
<ExCon> what if i die and never come back ?;D
<[SuN]> ill make a bot called ExCon and give it ops
<ExCon> oh..i feel honored
<ExCon> :D
<[SuN]> ;)
#49442
<LOAF> So, I'm out back in the alley
<LOAF> I figure I'm alone, right
<LOAF> And it's completely dark
<LOAF> And I see a tiny round silhouette on the ground
<LOAF> Now, we've all been there: is it a coin or is it a splotch?
<LOAF> Do you bend over or don't you? What do you do? You have literally nanoseconds to figure it out.
<LOAF> But it was dark, damned dark, so the call was all the much harder.
<LOAF> And my brain gave the final instructions: coin, go for it, assume it is a coin.
<LOAF> And so I did.
<LOAF> And it was.
<LOAF> Which made me ever so pleased with myself
<LOAF> Which made me decide to do a little hop-and-spin and hold the coin up in the air
<LOAF> Which I did
<LOAF> And as I spun around and put the coin up in the air, there was a homeless guy digging through the dumpster, now staring at me.
<LOAF> And he clapped.
<LOAF> I offered him the coin, but he said I'd earned it.
#310390
<TheBadSpoon> to explain reddit, it's basically a large anus comprised of many sub-anuses
#103191
23:31 < avoozl> hmm there is a disk failing in my machine
23:31 < avoozl> going klunk klunk every half an hour
00:01 < avoozl> the bad news is that the disk is really dying
00:02 < avoozl> the good news is that i cannot find any mount points/raid entrys/lvms that actually _use_ that disk
#7990
<Diamond> There's about 800 people tied up in my basement.
<Prophet> Oh my
<Prophet> What do you use them for?
<mordac> They really bring the room together, you know?
#18793
<sweede> i've watched him do the following (it was on my lame p133 even) in Quake 1
<sweede> over a modem, in a hotel (28.8kps), join a server (max 50), number one player was at like, 30 or so..
<sweede> NO mouse, just keyboard,
<sweede> AND only using the nail gun,
<sweede> own3d everyone, the number one guy didnt get a frag after that..
<sweede> AND, he was typing to people as he was playing.
<setuid_w00t> beatz0rage
<Strike> sweede: and he was jerking off at the same time
<Strike> *fapfapfapfapfapfap* *frag* *fapfapfapfap* *type*
#6703
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Say My Name.mp3]-[4.34mb/4m 30s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 04 - Warm Hugs.mp3]-[5.23mb/5m 26s]
<Dynamo> No one saw Destiny's Child, or Pet Music, aight?
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Independent Woman Part 1.mp3]-[3.6mb/3m 44s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 08 - Chasing Clouds.mp3]-[4.4mb/4m 35s]
<Dynamo> This PC must hate me.
#7972
<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?! it'll take you all day to download that bagel!
#9269
<Brando457> wait NJ is east coast right
<PizzaMind> ...
<PizzaMind> dont you live in NJ?
<BRando457> yea