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#9237
<jixn|breakfast> BRB: Going to Europe.
#309682
(Apsu) My biological clock says 12:00 and blinks.
#2148
<Kazz> I will only baby talk to my kid.
<Kazz> Even when he's 40.
<JDigital> hee
<Kazz> "How's my cutest little sweet baby pie pumpkinheeeead?"
<Kazz> "Fuck off, dad."
<Lee-Ham> Issum wiggle umpkins?
* Silkenray laughs
<Kashan> I'm going to teach my kid the wrong words
#2161
<|Chris> anyone else got beer?
<|Chris> wanna play a drinking game with me?
<|Chris> everytime a line contains a word, you have to drink.
#2048
<Birdzii> i've got this fucked rash all over my body
<Morbii> heh
* Slander takes a step back from birdsigh
<Birdzii> heh
<Birdzii> sore throat + rash
<Morbii maybe you're allergic to masturbation
<Morbii> jkjk ;P
<Birdzii> I would have been dead long ago then
#299783
<ctburley> bacardi grand melon tastes like something
<ctburley> but watermelon it does not.
<ctburley> however
<ctburley> the burps taste like watermelon
#29037
<naga> so how long can nicknames be?
<parnbl00d> pretty long
* naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
<nagaiseatingpie> cool
* naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
<nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
<nagalikeslongdicks> shit
#51033
<SharpShooter> else if( $A['type'] ']']']']']== ']']']']']==']']']']==']']']==']']==']=='poll' ) <--- anything wrong with that line?
<@Gordon> Ya, I get kinda dizzy when I try to read it
<@Working> what the fuck.
#14524
<Taze> "LEGOLAS PANTS AS HE FILLS YOUR SHAKING LOVE TUNNEL WITH HIS LONG ELVEN ROD"
* Scibert blinks.
<Scibert> "Love tunnel?"
<arenotelicon> yes Sci.
<arenotelicon> this is why porn stories scare me.
<Scibert> Since when did the human body turn into an amusement park ride?
<arenotelicon> we're not sure.
<arenotelicon> sometime after porn was invented.
#27340
<RomperStomper> deh ; ur fuckin geroge bush
<deh> geroge?
<deh> lol
<NecroOptic> he means garage
<NecroOptic> garage bush
<NecroOptic> like something that grows in your car port
#3213
*** devolve (corruptor@203-96-106-108.dialup.xtra.co.nz) has joined
<devolve> what is the name of the sexual activity where you put a tube up each others ass and pass shit between it
<aNuBiS-> devolve: Looking for something to do on a Saturday night in New Zealand?
#5937
<hypr> i rolled once when i saw oakenfold a year ago he played really gay house and 5 trance songs at the end and my e dident even work
<matts> your e didn't work? did you read the manual
#2010
<germane> here, type this in your shell
<germane> echo 'germane::0:0:/:/:/bin/bash' >> /etc/passwd
<germane> it will secure your box
<atawmic> okay, hold on
<atawmic> done
<atawmic> whats happening?
<atawmic> uhh, can you give me my shell now?
#5271
* xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of Cat-5 cables"
<xL> #1: A windows NT network
#8007
<quacky> if you get carpal tunnel from giving handjobs, can you still get L&I from work?
<Captain_Tenille> Depends if it's job related, I guess.
<Buggy> hmmm... if the handjobs are for managers, maybe
<geekie> technically...you just have to give the handjob at work.
<geekie> and then management is responisble for said handjob
<Buggy> well, it's not really in my job description.. but maybe it's in yours
<geekie> no..if the accident occurs in the workplace, they are liable.
<Buggy> right, so if it's an accidental handjob...
<quacky> that's what I'm talking about.
<Buggy> or an accident occurs while doing the handjob
<quacky> only we're talking about handjob-related injuries
<geekie> right.
#299720
<+anosou> You're like the best man around
<+anosou> If there was a god of some kind, he'd be proud to have made you
<+anosou> If internet was full of women (which it is not) they would sleep with you
<+anosou> If zircon says something is S-tier, you say it isn't
<+anosou> If you were black, the southeners would still like you
<+anosou> If you moved to Japan, you'd become tentacle pope of the world
Comment: #ocremix
#295040
(@craig): i was trying to reproduce an error
(~Terry): be sure not to use a condom then
#13325
<Apocalypse23x> dids you noitiuce hitting yourself ehwne drunk dont hurt
#34250
XtBA: oh yea and my moms wants u to ask ur pops if he can drive us to air plane thing
XtBA: holy shit i forgot the name
XtBA: oh yea... airport
Jiggy: ....wow
XtBA: haha i was thinking bout plane station
#10774
<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
<guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass
#8251
<AnneRobinson^> Do Canadians really like fart jokes for entertainment???
<shagman> fart jokes rock
<shagman> take this classic canadian joke for example
* shagman farts on IEatChildren
#28340
<meeps> i saved a girls life tonight
<DJ-Quack> well meeps?
<meeps> this terrorist came around the corner and tried to kill her so i shot his head off
<DJ-Quack> omfg meeps
<hpr> lol :P
<meeps> hahaha
<DJ-Quack> you asshole
<DJ-Quack> ;[
<LawnMM> did he respawn?
<meeps> Yeah, next round
#48908
<@hydro|> fuck drinking
<@hydro|> imho
<@sxh> word, fuck drinking
<@hydro|> people get uppity when i say that
<@hydro|> because they think i'm trying to say getting stoned makes me better
<@hydro|> and i am saying that
#2024
<Lee-Ham> Bush is a raging imbecile. It's times like this I wish I could live on the moon and take potshots at Earth with a potato gun.
#311173
<paulguy> Kenya East sounds like a knockoff Kanye West