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#56799
<pritch> fwf this is the internet
<pritch> no one cares about your gf unless we see nude pix
#72748
<insaneidiot> so i have to write a paper for english about why Launcelot likes to run around killing people
<MC> He was beat as a child
<Tar> it's because he yearns desperately for approval
<HunterX11> its the name
<HunterX11> if you name a girl candi, she'll be a stripper
<HunterX11> if you name a boy jeeves, he'll be a butler
<HunterX11> if you name a guy launcelot, he's gonna fucking lance people
Comment: irc.bungie.org #hbo
#295415
<~Vespa> I had a lesbian (a very intoxicated one) come onto me once
<~toto> They wanted a drink dear
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they bought me the drink
<~toto> They'd spiked it and wanted your wallet then.
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they thought I was female
Comment: #dirt
#41234
<BiG_10> gonna see if i can cancel my order of 6 gallons of listerine
<BiG_10> foudn out the damn stuff has an expiration date.... my 1 liter says it'll expire in may of '06... and i just bought 6 years worth of mouth wash
Comment: #teamlan on ETG
#5750
<TeNcHi420> i went to this store to buy a pipe, and there was only one left, and hes all "its unbreakable" so i was like thats pretty cool, but then he starts bangin it on the tble, and im like ok stop, but he says, "no look, you can hit it how ever many times and it wont break.." on about the 7th or 8th smack on the table the thing shatters....i almost knoked his dumbass out
#8965
*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronin\dm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call
#302272
<Legion|work> hm
<Legion|work> so the b3ta newsletter describes a theory that all film titles are funnier if you substitute one of the words with "sausage" or "sausages"
<Legion|work> I submit for your consideration "Sausage in 60 Seconds" and "The Green Sausage"
<Mac^Work> Terminator 2: Sausage Day
<Legion|work> "Sausages on a Plane"
<Niyx> Harry Potter and the Philosopher's sausage
<Mac^Work> Alice in Sausageland gives a whole new outlook on teh film...
<Legion|work> PMSL
<Legion|work> "The Lion, the Witch and the Sausage"?
<Legion|work> (I'd prefer "The Witch, the Wardrobe and the Sausage" but I think that's cheating)
<^RaK^> The Sausage in the Willows ?
<Legion|work> A Beautiful Sausage
<Mac^Work> How to train your sausage
<Legion|work> Buffalo Sausages
<Legion|work> (or alternatively Sausage Soldiers, which is perhaps even better)
<Mac^Work> Hot Tub Sausage Machine
<Legion|work> Sausage for Private Ryan
<Niyx> Sausage Club
<Legion|work> Sausage at Tiffany's?
<Mac^Work> Furry sausage
<Niyx> There's something about sausage
<Legion|work> Iron Sausage / Sausage Man
<Niyx> The men who stare at sausages
<Legion|work> WINNER!
#11226
<CactusEarl> any of you want to kill my alegbra teacher, he hates me
<CactusEarl> he thinks im going to shoot him
<CactusEarl> "oh my lord earl why does your quiz paper say im gonna kill you mister rose"
#61394
<Retro> ok so this morning my friend brings in a huge tub of peanut butter
<Retro> crunchy style
<Retro> and says he'll give me 20$ to eat it all
<Retro> two hours later, I had twenty bucks and diarrhea
#215554
conquistador: seriously i think i've seen atleast 25% of all the amateur lesbian porn in the world in the past 48hrs
conquistador: my dick isn't even chaffing anymore and if i robbed a bank they wouldn't get any prints
#11111
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op?
* ssmmdd fires up Sven
(Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
#235397
<Smidge204> Asperger's syndrome is most commonly contracted by reading the Wikipedia article on Asperger's syndrome.
#26290
<CYwolf> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and hang a little curtain
#17152
<sacarna> jay z - it's a hard knock life (ghetto anthem).mp3
<sacarna> otherwise its just a song from annie.
<JtHM> heh.. hardcore rappers mackin out to samples from an old musical full of 10 year old white girls.
<JtHM> seems more like R Kellys scene
#50549
<Hrun> how would a core dump feel?
<rockot> pretty good especially after a big breakfast
Comment: #sdl on irc.freenode.net
#298536
<Stumpie> how do I make firefox so my fat wife cannot delete my porn bookmarks while I am at work?
Comment: #ubuntu@irc.freenode.net
#90232
<john1> hey how do i send a pm? :)
<john1> guys?
<quit> put a / before target's name then your message
*** john1 has quit IRC (like this? :))
<Karg> ...Oh man.
<Karg> That was almost too perfect.
#10695
<@Nfs> what good is all the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
<@BLiNGO> umm
<@BLiNGO> you dont need fame to fuck models
<@Nfs> but its gettin hot in herre, so take off all your clothes..
<@BLiNGO> i am gettin so hot, i will take my clothes off
* @BLiNGO sets mode: -clothes BLiNGO
#3972
*** Now talking in #sandstorm
*** Topic is 'http://media.sub-sonix.net:8008 all sandstorm, all the time... for 60 days until the RIAA starts charging'
#156
<||CHAOS||> they just jumped into bed when i showed them how i added a speaker to my ti-83
#16121
<zamros> when i was seven i saw a car get run over by another car
<zamros> my first accident witnessing
<zamros> and/or moster truck rally
#1828
[22:29] <Brentai> ...Foxie, these brownies you were eating smell kind of funny.
[22:29] <FoxieMoxie> I was eating brownies?
[22:29] <Brentai> Exactly.
#2482
<althea> i was fucked on tranquilizers
<althea> fucked up i mean
#307358
<Roxsie> hey sebas, what do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
<@Sebas> A shit magician.
#27868
<lordCONAN> just cause something was written before you were porn, doesnt mean its shit
<Twinsen> HAHAHA
<Dextas> porn on the mind eh lc?