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#3973
<Ouroboros> suds: You are drunk, we are sober. Why are you sad?
<suds> i dunno
<suds> maybe cuz all the chicas at the club were so underage it was like walkin into jail
*** suds has some standards
<suds> noone under 18
<suds> now that i'm 22
<Ouroboros> I only have 2 standards.
<Ouroboros> A left one and a right one.
#63876
<steve> I just jumped over the coffee table in the living room into a roll because I thought there was no one there but my dad was in the kitchen and he was like wtf are you doing you idiot
#25193
<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs and closes the door*
#1355
<McGrue> The truth, like a penis, sometimes slips out at inopportune times.
#310370
<khelp_work> hey folks
<kerin> yo
<khelp_work> hows it going?
<kerin> like it has fallen to me once again to make war against countless unmotivated shit-for-brains assholes who have dedicated every fiber of their mediocre existences to undermining everything i have striven to accomplish
<kerin> it is as though i stand alone in a howling gale of misery and uselessness
<khelp_work> so...mondays?
<kerin> yes
<kerin> you have summarized the situation nicely
#11715
<Yogurt> Action Half-Life - "To counter Action Quake 2's speed and fun, we've included slow gameplay and the ability to fall down on purpose."
#62295
<Domr0x>Do you have a tape recorder?
<CuzCiz>No
<CuzCiz>but i have a pc with a good mic
<Domr0x>hmm, dont think we can smuggle your pc into the red hot chili peppers concert
#17975
A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch out olsen twins!
#32720
<sahal> i hide my porn in .dll files
#299587
Mama: hi this is dad on the computer
Joe: hi
Mama: how r u
Joe: good good
Mama: ilove u and miss u
Joe: moving out tomorrow
Mama: moving to new dorm?
Joe: yes
Mama: do u need money or anything, this is mom telling me to say
Joe: no no i dont think so
Mama: thank u very much now i love u more
#791
(McMoo) i got in a car accident and i'm fine
(McMoo) except for that third nipple that the doctors thought would be funny to include in my skin graft
#7342
<skankuhz> I work my bung muscles every night, just in case i have to go to jail, I'll rip off a mans tip if he tries to ass fuck me!
#300286
<+finn> is there something in between "I like you" and "I love you"?
<@Rjx> sex
#55584
xeno: *note to self, driving makes distances seem very short, will use that knowledge next time before taking a 'short run' *
#49634
<Art_Vandelay> my sexuality should not be in question
<Art_Vandelay> I think you know which way I swing
<Art_Vandelay> -->
<KP> yeah, it's fairly obvious
<KP> i see you're pointing toward the userlist
<KP> composed entirely of males
#8955
<RyMon> You see the new heatsinks on thinkgeek?
<Crash> I have one right here... it's so cold against my skin, I could just put them all over myself and stay cool anywhere!
<RyMon> There's no sink that disipates stupid, man.
#297885
<Fox> so
<Fox> as you guys know I've been watching Voyager like nonstop the past week or so
<Fox> when my mom woke me up this morning, apparently I was asking her how we got back to the Alpha Quadrant
#33284
<tito> I CHOOSE YOU, GOATSECHU!
<tito> USE GIANT ANUS ATTACK
#3661
<Kiteless> anyways, invite only is often a good thing
<Kiteless> unless youre talking about girls of course..
<ScumDog> Kidon's giving you delusions about girls who like games being 'hot'
<ScumDog> she's a serious rarity - remember that
<mightyflo> sell her on ebay
<Kiteless> 'hot gamer gf'
<mightyflo> LQQK!
#11116
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once
< cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit
< cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out
< cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard
#48629
<melf> america is the best fucking country on earth
<melf> nowhere else can you have a life like you can have one here
<cheez> the date of expiration on that propaganda reads 1/1/79, melf
#42758
< jnc> use someone else's underwear
< jnc> i mean
< jnc> bandwidth
Comment: #freematrix on irc.freenode.net
#46074
(Bismarck) Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!!
(Bismarck) France is going to house the new nuclear fusion reactor!
(Bismarck) If it suceeds, cheap long term energy. If it fails, BAM! France is gone!
(Bismarck) It's win win!
#299780
< fawkesmulder> the only thing impenetrable to hackers are vaginas
#309708
* Mich is now known as mich
<TB> Little mich
<TB> I don't understand the need to change from M to m
<Tibby> he ran into a goomba