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#23345
<elusive> lol, the only legal thing on tylers pc are his drivers
#34159
<Rjx> so I'm sitting with some friends in college
<Rjx> and drinking some soup
<Rjx> and I say "hey, this soup is thicker than a norwegian"
<Rjx> and I look up
<Rjx> and there's this girl glaring at me
<Rjx> and I think "wait a minute"
<Rjx> so I say
<Rjx> "er du norsk?"
<Rjx> her: ja
<Rjx> oops....
#27213
<CheesyP18> surprised my 7" monitor has VGA
<@dabu> wait, u mean it's a separate monitor?? a CRT?
<@dabu> haha, and u wanna encode on that?
<CheesyP18> yea
<CheesyP18> my computer is up to scratch tho
<@Billy|B-A> my dicks bigger than your monitor =\
#307814
<+Raija> what does it feel like to use a penis, though?
<Skarlet> wuh?
<Skarlet> you don't know?
<Fritz> It feels awesome!
<+Raija> I mean, what does it feel like to fuck something with a penis
<Fritz> The power of the world in the palm if your hand
#11934
<jaydogg14!#devart> is anyone here from europe and hate americans, please msg me for this damn homework i gotta do
#301022
<Fraxtil> ugh
<Fraxtil> a bunch of mormons came to my door
<taiyal> lol
<Fraxtil> and I decided to listen to them
<taiyal> you didn't convert did you
<Fraxtil> fucking 15 minutes later they're done and I have a Book of Mormon and some pamphlets
<Fraxtil> haha no
<taiyal> I have a Book of Mormon
<taiyal> got it for free off the internet
<NitroX72> they can actually drag on that long?
<Fraxtil> yes, nitro
<taiyal> i've read most of the first book
<taiyal> you know what's even better
<taiyal> on the page of the Mormon website where you can request a free book
<taiyal> you can check a box saying that you would like to have a representative come to your door and explain to you
<taiyal> so you can essentially beam mormons at people
#44
<iMike> i remember in 8th grade health class we had some guy from a std clinic come in
<iMike> and he was talking about porn mags
<iMike> and some kid was like 'what about playboy?'
<iMike> and the guy was like 'well some consider that to be more of a softcore magazine'
#8478
<cactoid> you're all gay
<cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows it's a marriage of convenience
#42476
ilanbg: oh man, in school today i had to present a biography thing on aristotle, some philosopher, and we needed to come up with a slogan that'd remind us of whatever the subject, and i didn't yhave one, so I walked to the front of the class, no idea what to say, and just said the first thing that came out of my mouth
ilanbg: and it was "It's the thought that counts."
ilanbg: i got an A.
#52517
23:02:28 <@murderdeathkiller> is there something wrong with a girl who doesn't shave?
23:02:33 < Rutger> No, there isn't
23:02:40 < Patrick``> it's perfectly natural.
23:02:46 <@murderdeathkiller> that's curious. in europe it's like, no, that's cool
23:02:57 <@murderdeathkiller> in america it's like "I WANT YOU TO BE BALD LIKE AN EIGHT YEAR OL DOWN THERE BABY"
23:03:23 < Patrick``> I'd rather have wispy hair than stubble
23:03:34 < Patrick``> it's like "this vagina has the texture of rambo's chin"
#58699
MadSkz: i was arguing with my dad last night
MadSkz: and i called him a terrorist (hes muslim)
padawan: lol..what did he do then
MadSkz: threaten me with a box cutter
#43242
pthree : someone @ lucas films is looking at my site
pthree : now they're looking @ webcam
pthree : i put note up for them to email me
helf : heh
Austin : Hold up a cardboard sign reading "HIRE ME"
#61850
<mr_flea> that and i think i tried to swallow something way too large for my throat when i was attempting to eat a fajita at a rate it was not designed to be eaten >.>
<mr_flea> thank god i don't have to get some sort of operation
* mr_flea painfully drinks more dr. pepper
<Ushanka> Flea, you might not take this really seriously, but I really hope you don't die
<Ushanka> It would suck to have "Cause of death: Fajitas" written on your death certificate
#304174
<Spance> "Certainly Java got a lot right - its used by 10 million developers."
<Spance> THERE ARE 350-500 MILLION CASES OF MALARIA A YEAR
<\> are you arguing that malaria isn't successful?
#33648
<+jeef> i had a dream about beastiality and i woke up with an erection :/
#1557
<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large, exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on the internet?
<freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet
<freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but keep them wondering.
#59520
<katiesaurus> I'm kinda like a pineapple
<mattatta> huh?
<katiesaurus> brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside
<mattatta> oh lol, I thought you meant fat and best cut into pieces
<katiesaurus> ...ummm
#2870
* FiShYmAn kills Noddy
* FiShYmAn sells the film to ld saying its olsen twins for $50
[Noddy ] rfol
[Noddy ] he'd get off on it either way
#33215
<kisama2> fucking imacs
<kisama2> fucking suck dicks
<kisama2> i'm sitting here trying to use this imac
<kisama2> because all the other computers are broken
<kisama2> or in use
<kisama2> MOTHERFUCKER
<kisama2> mouse freezes every 10 seconds
<kisama2> for about a minute
<kisama2> all i can do is type fucking IRC RAGE
<kisama2> into this channel
<kisama2> its so horrible
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#28965
<[Piratez]> lol i had ice in ma glass, i left it for a while, i just took a look at the glass and i was thinking, 'who the fuck stole ma ice'...
<[Piratez]> go figures where it went :)
#25302
<m477[Lain]> Customer: "I don't have a cdrom drive, and the CD is too big to fit in the floppy drive. And the software store won't take it back. So you have to help me install this, because it's all your fault. If you had sold me the version of Windows I wanted, I wouldn't have had to buy Windows 95."
#7435
<Owyn> I can't double click on a folder to open it.
<Owyn> THat's not a good thing.
<Phuser> keep the chat running man JUST KEEP THE CHAT RUNNING!
*** Owyn has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Phuser> damn
* Phuser throws his hands in the air
<Phuser> WHY GOD, WHY?!
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#304195
<NCommander> Don't let someone with an uncontrolled seizure history give you oral sex
#8067
<Embercide> i was doing 3 things at once, went to take the smoke out and it must have stuck to my lip and flipped up
<Embercide> i must have just closed my eye in time cause the eye itself isnt damaged
<Avatar> who'd've thought a cigarette could be so dangerous?
<Scourge> Not only do they cause numerous cancers and other lung problems but they can also burn your eyes.