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#4013
<Joshua> how's the recording going?
<Joshua> or the whole band thing i guess... haven't heard much as of late...
<Lexx> like a dead paraplegic snail, nailed to a dead paraplegic badger that has been cemented into the foundations of a building
<Joshua> umm... was the snail dead before it was nailed to the badger?
<Lexx> they were both stillborn
<Lexx> as were their parents
<Alamias> Sounds like my sex life
<Joshua> wow...

#28717
<B_Goodin> Self deprecation is always amusing
<B_Goodin> :-/
<B_Goodin> and so is farting
<Mark> especially when you light them
<B_Goodin> KABOOM!
<-- eric has quit (Ping timeout)
<Mark> You blew Eric off the channel!

#28516
<IrCmOnKeY> if i had a girl she would have to be all into svcd-ts

#3878
<nARcOtIC]> any of u know someone witha f ast internet connection?
<[ric]> me, suppa fast... so fast I can't even see the packets go by when I open the modem up
<nARcOtIC]> how fast is it?
<[ric]> so fast I can't even explain it
<nARcOtIC]> right
<[ric]> so fast that by the time I try and upload something it was uploaded 10 minutes earlier
<[ric]> stunningly fast, it is..

#308371
<bob> At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel
<ramsey> those are really the things that matter
<ramsey> but I'm more interested in who is better suited to get us through the impending zombie apocalypse, since it's more impending than an alien invasion
<bob> i'd probably still choose the black one.
<ramsey> wow

#297507
[+Rickmasta] What would you say is the main chinese religion?
[~knoeki] Rickmasta: opression?
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net

#22107
<alpenwrk> deskmod goes down more than a fucking whore
<alpenwrk> deskmod is felating the internet
<The-Jim> but deskmod doesn't give you herpes.

#56224
<mtrisk> damnit
<mtrisk> it was the wrong hole
<mtrisk> but it's still only half fixed
<mtrisk> wtf
<mtrisk> it only works when im touching it
<tpfusion> ...
<mtrisk> my _headphones_ damnit!

#115095
<Obby> I'm going under the knife tomorrow.
<Kabloxy> Ahh, Jesus.
<Kabloxy> Hope it all goes well, dude.
<Obby> You know what I should do?
<Obby> On my correct leg, I should write; "Wrong leg, man," and on the other write; "Or is it? HAHAHAH THE pressure's on you, DOC! JUST YOU AND THE KNIFE!"
Comment: irc.waypasteleven.com, #n

#34068
<IceWizard> hmmm
<IceWizard> i cant figure out this..
<IceWizard> im supposed to set my clocks back 1 hour
<IceWizard> so how can I make my vcr start flashing 11:00 instead of 12:00?

#300937
<Magello> It is my assumption that every few minutes a virtual sentience forms on the Internet, is pelted with spam mail and chooses to commit suicide.

#55247
<@Jarn> My entire belief system is under attack.
<wotnarg> ?
<@Jarn> I just found a microsoft product that is not only easy, but GOOD. :/
<@Jarn> I can't believe it.
<@Jarn> Has everything I've stood for... been a lie?
<@Jarn> Curse you, Windows Movie Maker 2.1! You are shaking the foundations of my life!
<@Jarn> Help me!
<@Jarn> What do I do? What do I believe? I'm so confused!
<wotnarg> Don't worry...
<wotnarg> It was probably made by a small company that was bought out.
<wotnarg> Like Halo.
<@Jarn> Thank you, I believe I understand now.
<@Jarn> My faith was shaken, but came out stronger in the end.
Comment: #wotlinux

#304899
<dd7> i think newegg forgot to put my item in the package
<dd7> all they sent was packing peanuts
<dd7> i'm not exactly upset; they're fun to play with and stuff
<dd7> but i sure could have used that hard drive

#298989
<AlexExtreme> is there any way to make other members of your team not take the powerups on UT single player? ><
<froggey> yes, enable friendly fire and shoot them

#11246
<Saber> help me
<Saber> I just ate a fortune cookie
<Saber> But I don't remember taking the fortune out

#1225
[timmo] i liked the great gatsby movie
[timmo] because gatsby was harrison ford
[timmo] and i cant pass up an opertunity
[timmo] to see him get shot

#21966
<tuned> you're just stupid, please get hit by a car full of bees.

#308933
<Eule> "cloud" aka "I think I'll put my files on a third-party service with unknown backup, retention, and future pricing policies, and hopefully they won't suddenly charge me too many thousands of dollars to get my own files back."

#310881
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES

#34785
<fatmikey> well I think i'll make that my new hobby after going to the gym when I should be studying
<fatmikey> one can only make a 45 minute workout last so long
<Kurt> have you made it last 45 minutes yet?

#307852
<B0g4r7> A Catholic priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar.
<B0g4r7> He orders a beer.
<d4|werk> ba dum tsssssh
<mark251> so how was the beer

#6056
<Guyver3> koolaid time
<Guyver3> what today
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi lemonade
<Guyver3> mountain berry blast
<Guyver3> or blood of the preacher's daughter?
<kingmob> the blood one.  definitely.

#79712
< nixternal> hey, I have Office 2007 Enterprise free, who wants it?
< Red_Herring> ME ME ME ME ME
< nixternal> for real?
< Red_Herring> no
< nixternal> why not?
< Red_Herring> a) i dont use windows
< Red_Herring> b) i dont use office
< nixternal> you passed the test!
< Red_Herring> what do i win?
< nixternal> Office 2007 Enterprise
Comment: #ubuntu-chicago

#294687
FurtherThan: sis,
FurtherThan: rickrolling is dead.
FurtherThan: i'm sorry, the macy's parade killed the shit out of it
s37: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FurtherThan: a good meme's time is just it's time
FurtherThan: and it was rickrolling's time
FurtherThan: i know, it's hard
FurtherThan: but you just got to let it go
FurtherThan: until 4chan comes up with something else equally ridiculous
s37: no!
s37: rick aistley, I promise you,
s37: I'm never gonna give you up
FurtherThan: i'm never gonna let you down
s37: never gonna run around
s37: or desert you
FurtherThan: *sniff*

#36288
<tammy> why do guys always try to act so macho all the time
<vercetti> because we're rugged!
<vercetti> now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sort my wash and wear from my delicates :D

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