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#549
<DaemoN_> ASHLEY STOP SCRUBBING MY SCHLONG WITH THOSE TREES
<Ashley-> its the only wood you will ever have down there urchin boy
#36328
<`Nick> my screen name is AlQaeda Nick
<`Nick> i just use it so my mom cant IM me from work
#40409
elvira_> i told my psychiatrist that i was feeling suicidal, now he wants me to pay on a cash up front basis
#68734
<Stux> my girlfriend sent me a video
<Stux> it was of me
<Stux> wearing her skirt, top and a bra with padding
<Stux> and...until it panned up, i looked like a girl :(
<Rjx> email it ;x
<Stux> wap doesnt work
<Rjx> you know what else doesn't work?
<Rjx> your masculinity
#39771
zakalwefrombetfair: hey - i bought a jar of expensive hazelnut coffee today
Kath : you dont usually?
zakalwefrombetfair: no - i hought i'd treat myself
Kath : is it good?
zakalwefrombetfair: its fucking horrible
#303934
< niekie> Someone said to someone else "There's a hole in your shirt."
< niekie> That was just the perfect moment for me to say "That's better than the other way around."
#43244
<<HobbitGrease> tobita: i'm going to expose more of my computer stupidity here, what's the difference between SDRAM and DDR RAM
<Tobita> The number of pins on the stick
<<HobbitGrease> ah
<Tobita> Other than that, DDR is faster
<<HobbitGrease> at least i'm not calling the entire computer tower the modem, as a coworker was doing today
<Defiler> Hobbit: Technically, it's "SDRAM" vs. "DDR SDRAM"
<Defiler> Which should make it clearer that one is an enhanced version of the other.
<Defiler> Imagine that someone is flicking the light switch on and off in your room.
<Defiler> In the room with you is a dwarf with a knife.
<Defiler> With regular SDRAM, every time the lights go out, the dwarf stabs you.
<Defiler> With DDR, not only does he stab you when the lights go out, but also, when the lights turn back on, he kicks you in the shin.
<Defiler> As you can see, more information is being transmitted, even though the same process is going on.
<Defiler> This is the magic of DDR.
#2522
<josho> I JUST HAD A RANDOM ETHNIC DRESSING MOMENT
<josho> I PUT A TURBAN ON, SOME JEWELS, AND DANCED TO HATTEN AR DIN
<josho> back to starcraft editing
#47036
<Darkhack> When I die I am going to have my family log me into to IRC with an away message of "afk-dead" and leave it on 24/7
Comment: #planeshift
#6980
<chococat44> you just cant keep a good man down
<greg> Conversly, you can't keep a bad man up.
#1090
(MC_SpEcS) huggles...who are you?
(tiko-out) the blond chick who tried to suck you off @ God Is A DJ
(tiko-out) unless you got multiple blond chicks offering that
(tiko-out) she's the one who looked like a blonde muppet
#40905
<Angst_> Best csi:miami moment ever, suspect's name: Wayne King.
Comment: #BT efnet, maybe only the brits will understand this one ;)
#6485
<blazemore> DJing with vinyl is like people still making soap from their own pig fat
#54688
(ZackisDead) do you know how easy it is to ruin a perfectly good family
(ZackisDead) for the fuck of it
(ZackisDead) I called some dude tonight and told him I've been fucking his wife
(ZackisDead) I just ran my finger down the phone book
(Mantits) Uh
(Mantits) ...
(Mantits) Did he believe you?
(ZackisDead) I think so
Comment: D:
#4384
<@JP> before i saw miss cleo's commercial, i didn't know there was a "you are attracted to a large-breasted female co-worker" card in the tarot deck.
#32395
<ducklord> getting interested is for losers
<ducklord> winners go "..."
#558
<@xvize> xwin is like an os
#50258
Clint: Did you hear that the police station got broken in to?
Clint: The thieves stole all the toilets!
Mikey_B: Yeah, I heard that at the moment the policemen have nothing to go on.
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#36900
<rhyno> okay
<rhyno> I must be losing my mind
<rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station
<rhyno> because I can't find my car keys
<rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago
<DaemonX> pj station?
<rhyno> yeah
<rhyno> gas station
<rhyno> but the thing was
<rhyno> I was going there to get gas
<DaemonX> without your car?
<rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys
<rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk"
<rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I going here for.."
<rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!"
<rhyno> then walked back
<DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that
#7421
<WargasM> i like chocolate
<WargasM> it makes me think of boobies
<WargasM> i wonder if you could make a woman lactate chocolate milk, if the DNA was just right
#29206
<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_-
#309816
<slamm> this porn im watching is using guiles theme as the music
<slamm> its true that it goes with everything
Comment: #/g/tv rizon
#1355
<McGrue> The truth, like a penis, sometimes slips out at inopportune times.
#4043
<TALLC00L1> Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make a fist