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#18406
<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away) and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy
#33888
<Hidden_7> MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER
<Hidden_7> it is an expensive piece of hardware
<Hidden_7> I've poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into this bitch
<Hidden_7> and it won't fucking give up the goods
<Hidden_7> so fucking like a chick it's not EVEN funny
#18317
<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence
#81171
Jenna says: I
Jenna says: l
Jenna says: o
Jenna says: v
Jenna says: e
Jenna says: y
David says: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Jenna says: what the **** is your problem?
Jenna says: why do you always do that?
#16298
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health
#39984
(Nick): nobody believed about my abs, so I took a pic of it.. nobody thinks I have a nice sized penis.. so do I have to prove you wrong again?
(Deranged): Exactly how far does your camera zoom?
#307520
<%[ill]will> psyfail: I need you to do something for me.....I need you to kill a man you do not know, for reasons I can not explain, in exchange for an amount of money that cannot be discussed.
<+psyfail> [ill]will: can i rape the corpse?
<%[ill]will> you make that deicision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you need the corpse to be completely intact when it is found?
<%[ill]will> you make that decision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you mind if pictures of it eventually get to the internet, or if groups of people are allowed to do whatever they want to it for an hourly rate?
<%[ill]will> as long as you blur out the pubic region like the japanese do
<+psyfail> can i take the corpse to the bahamas and recreate the 1980s smash hit movie Weekend At Bernie's with an independent crew from Hollywood and a second crew in New York to shoot the background shots we'll need when we wrap in June?
<%[ill]will> the person has an ankle bracelet and cant leave the state
#15507
<treaps> i've always wanted to try taking diezepam and trying to do math or program computers
<rdgzt> What's diezepam?
<treaps> muscle relaxer/antianxiety drug
<treaps> it's a class IV drug on this chart
<rdgzt> It makes you shit your pants and not worry about it?
#2341
<CoMBo> <Robbin> Jesse Jackson should be president
<Robbin> unlike you lusers, i have somewhere to be on friday night
<CoMBo> yeah popeyes
<_jube> shift starts 9
#8479
<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here
<Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life.
<spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm
<Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit.
<spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
#32755
<mrWoot> porn = getting old
#73453
<KefkaIIV> I had a dream that you could put Javascript in C++, and I made a code that had a bunch of pop-ups.
<blank> You became a Mozilla developer in your sleep.
#1078
(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box
#220433
<parp> lmao
<parp> Journey is playing in my area
<parp> I had no idea they were still together.
<Rjx> you stopped believing
Comment: #geekissues
#50381
<themole> I was thinking of quiting my job at target
<soapy> you should look into getting a job at goatse
<soapy> I heard they have a large opening
#61602
<Apophis> I think I need to trim my toenails.
<Apophis> either that or I'm a special kind of idiot
<Apophis> or both
<Apophis> my hand is bleeding from an 'unfortunate sock putting-on injury'
#7892
<schteve> let´s see how many that want to offer me a penis enlagement today
<schteve> in other words, i am gonna check my mail
#49790
<kyriy> can someone help me install this fear demo
<kyriy> im haveing some trouble, there seems to be some kind of "install shield"???
#11973
<Tribespr0n> oh wait
<Tribespr0n> i have an 80 gig drive full of porn
<Tribespr0n> i need to hook that up
<Tribespr0n> Dude at work, brought in an 80 gig drive full of asian porn
<Tribespr0n ok
<Tribespr0n> wtf
<Tribespr0n> this drive is part of a raid array
#979
<kisama> and i'm feeling invisible, you can't see me anywhere.
*** kisama was kicked by Amanda^_^ (ensuring your invisibility)
#294948
Mom: thanks to your status message, you can say good nite to the internet
*** Auto-response sent to Mom: I'm busy because my mom's being a nazi. Sieg Heil.
#308304
< Jan> dude when's the last time I've slept I'm seeing things
< Jan> I mean
< Jan> wait what do you call it when you see with your ears
#280368
greggacam|Farming: What's "user intelligence too low" mean?
#6357
<UrMomsUnt> U cant ban me .. I'm telnet irc
<paisley> Alrighty.
#23143
* cows has joined #kuro5hin
* ChanServ sets mode: +o cows
<drwiii> http://douglas.min.net/gowb.gif <-- cow
<COMPUTERA> drwiii, I'm guessing that you got it in your head at some point that if only you appended "<-- cow" to enough URLs, she'd sleep with you. Well, you might be correct. However, I bet you're starting to lose momentum, get discouraged. Wouldn't it be ironic if you gave up when only one more URL would've finally brought her around? With that in mind, I guess you'll never stop.
<Iman> ^^--- too long to topic :(