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#101889
<Rjx> i think the internet makes smart people smarter and stupid people louder
<rm-fr> SHUT UP!!!
#15073
* Suzuran managed to make KDE change all of the text and error messages (even the ones in shell windows) to Japanese.
<kinzillah> Suzuran: can you read them though?
<Suzuran> kinzillah: Hell no. ^_^
#13996
<killah667> shit i left my jacket in another channel!!
<madlib> wich one!?
<killah667> #lobby
#307516
<+Polynomial> there's a weight loss clinic on my way to work called Beacon
<+Polynomial> someone spray painted over the 'e' so it reads "B acon" instead
<slc> haha awesome
<+Polynomial> not only that, but they did it on the slogan too...
<+Polynomial> "Lose weight fast with B acon!"
<slc> rofl
<slc> whoever did that needs an invitation to the league of internet superheroes
#25113
<Mandingo> This is why I go to CNN.com.
<Mandingo> http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/08/08/porn.patriot/index.html
<American> im not clicking on anything that says porn patriot
<AirsickMoth> some american.
#29814
<Vex> Anyway, I'm off todo some meditation
<NSG> how do you meditate, and stay so evil?
<Vex> I became a buddhist on the weekend. Got rid of my evil side
<Vex> It's all gone. I'm no longer...alll...that...evil!
* _Mist_ craves a rootserv force-nick-change command right now
<_Mist_> /msg rootserv chgnick Vex Evil
* Vex clears his conscience
-NickServ- Nickname evil has been dropped.
* Vex feels more enlightened
* Vex eats some chocolate cake
#8007
<quacky> if you get carpal tunnel from giving handjobs, can you still get L&I from work?
<Captain_Tenille> Depends if it's job related, I guess.
<Buggy> hmmm... if the handjobs are for managers, maybe
<geekie> technically...you just have to give the handjob at work.
<geekie> and then management is responisble for said handjob
<Buggy> well, it's not really in my job description.. but maybe it's in yours
<geekie> no..if the accident occurs in the workplace, they are liable.
<Buggy> right, so if it's an accidental handjob...
<quacky> that's what I'm talking about.
<Buggy> or an accident occurs while doing the handjob
<quacky> only we're talking about handjob-related injuries
<geekie> right.
#47823
<TheYamiUsagi> Halo is like Christianity. It's probably okay, but the ignorant fan base ruined it for me.
#13524
<TunnelArmr> Cool! I finally found the Womrs 2 demo
<TunnelArmr> I mean Womrs 2
<TunnelArmr> I mean Wrms 2
<TunnelArmr> Worm 2 even
<TunnelArmr> GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!
<ThePython> having trouble saying wrmos Tunnel?
<ThePython> i mean wmros
<ThePython> i mean mrwos
<ThePython> GOD DAMNIT!
#38636
<MAD> "Linux turns 13 today"
<bassgoon> dude, lets try to coerce it in to meeting us so we can have sex with it
<MAD> agreed
<MAD> you get sloppy seconds though
#15750
<beaker> > MR IP MASTER : OURS FIREWALLS WERE DETECTING A LOT OF TRYINGS TO
VIOLATE
<beaker> > THE SECURITY OF OURS SYSTEMS FROM THE NEXT IP UNDER YOUR DOMAIN
<beaker> > ADMINISTRATOR
<beaker> >
<beaker> > WE WAIT FOR AN INMEDIATLY SOLUTION
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#176538
Exolent: I'll be back in like 15 minutes, i need to fake going to sleep so i can come back and stay up.
(the next morning)
Exolent: Sorry i didn't come back last night. i fell asleep trying to fake fall asleep.
#1583
<no_soul> did you know the testes on blue whales weigh like 400 pounds?
<no_soul> thats a hefty sack
<ecoli> my god.
<no_soul> just a little fun fact for you all
<ecoli> them is some big nuts
<ecoli> did you know that the blue whale's penis is 11 feet long?
<no_soul> i bet the shoot loads like a fuckin cruise missle
#1547
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?
#309978
<haq> i had this dream last night that i was laying in bed and i could hear someone saying "hey. hey dude. hey." from under the bed
<haq> so i whipped around and looked
<haq> and it was a crocodile wearing raybans and smoking a cigarette
<haq> so i tell this crocodile "bro you need to either put that out or go outside with it, there's no cigarettes allowed in the house"
<haq> dude's response is "chill out. crocodiles can't even smoke cigarettes."
<haq> then he takes a puff, blows the smoke in my face, and says "think about it."
<haq> so i wake up, laugh about it, and go about my day
<haq> well, in traffic on the way home this morning, i finally realize
<haq> crocodiles can't smoke cigarettes. they don't have lips, so they can't get any suction
#141808
Quantas: I'm waiting for my mom to roll it.
Alt: There is nothing about that sentence that isn't fucking hilarious.
Quantas: LOL I know
Quantas: but it's true
Quantas: I can't roll
[30 Minutes Later]
Quantas: I just toked. With my mom.
Alt: Yeah, again, there's several things wrong with this concept.
Quantas: It's canada, eh?
#9253
centenarygirl: maybe someday, but not right now
RKM 82: "maybe someday" do you mean that, or is that just thrown in there to comfort me
centenarygirl: no.........I really mean it
<PizzaMind> maybe means "when I'm 30, my pussy is floopy, no one else wants me and I've finally grown out of liking assholes"
#11117
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss
<@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach
<@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing
<@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself
#42333
<penor> i hate the world
<penor> im gonan go kill myself
<APE> dont stain the carpet
<penor> my mom would kill me if I did that
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#10360
<Fentom> great, I'm spending my saturday nights on the computer looking at pictures of dildos
<Fentom> trekkies look down on me and call me sad
#15475
<Mnementh4> There are many things in this world that shouldn't be shewed upon...
<Mnementh4> and one of them just happens to be dark blue pens
<Mnementh4> Teh worst thing is, I bit my lip a little while ago,
<Mnementh4> so I think I just gave myself a tattoo...
#1330
(fub) I walked into a police station once to pick up some court papers, and I smoked a joint about 5 blocks away and I was was sitting in there for awhile and I looked down at my shoes and the roach was on the front tounge of my shoe ;/
#28979
<yelworc> i need a registration code for "the all seeing eye"
<splice> if it were really "all seeing" wouldn't it know you didn't pay for it
#18717
<Twinge> Laziness + Apathy = me sleeping in my clothes.