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#143405
< mrpull> my little boy (finally) made the transition from diapers to "big boy" underwear. On his first day back to pre-school he dropped trou and showed the whole class his Lightning McQueens.
< mrpull> and it created a domino effect of 3YRO's showing their undies
< mrpull> I didn't see it, but it looks hilarious in my mind
#18326
<ouijakins> My lips were blue last night. I wish I had been well enough to take a pic.
<rdgzt> ouijakins: Whoa.
<rdgzt> ouijakins: Is it asthma, or asthma + a flu, or what?
<treaps> what she fails to mention is that it was from SUCKING MY COCK
<ouijakins> I dunno. I have pnuemonia which caused asthma.
<rdgzt> Oh, pneumonia.
<ouijakins> I wasn't exactly coherent.
<hpj> She got sperm in her lungs.
<hpj> Man, we're a great support group.
* ouijakins eats hpj.
<ouijakins> Ya.
<rdgzt> Pneuspermia.
<ouijakins> Yknow, I was all scared about dying last night.
<ouijakins> But uh, the sperm jokes make it ok.
<ouijakins> Because I know that God loves me for giving me text friends like you assholes.
#5729
<Lord-Data> god damn faggot game
<Lord-Data> why the fuck would i wanna pick up a corpse when im on 10% health, theres a minigun in front of me and im under fire
<Lord-Data> when i push use i wanna use the god damn gun, not fuck the damn corpse
#92
<Xavier> if it has 'teen' in the channel name, the collective iq of the group can automatically be assumed to be a negative value
#58232
<jiz> * AT 827 PM CDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR WAS TRACKING A CONFIRMED TORNADO NEAR KANSAS CITY. DOPPLER RADAR SHOWED THIS TORNADO MOVING EAST AT 40 MPH.
<jiz> lol its not only coming here but its my part of here
<jiz> lol when i ping out you will know the funnel cloud hit
<sam> no
<sam> when you ping out we will know the funnel cloud hit 600 seconds ago
<sam> YOU WILL ALREADY BE DEAD
Comment: irc.buttes.org #cockes
#160168
<rbrown11> dude
<anon> ?
<rbrown11> i'm in the student center
<rbrown11> there's this guy in front of me, he looks EXACTLY like you
<rbrown11> should i say something?
<anon> it is me you fucker
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#925
<lele> hypr is something of a "tragic" funny
#92169
<Vergo> man...
<Vergo> back in the old days... we had smarter idiots...
#305607
(fahadsadah) BT Openreach engineers are issued a booklet, entitled "Get it right first time"
(fahadsadah) Telling them how annoying faults are.
(fahadsadah) The current one says, on the front, "Get it right first time, Second Edition".
#6860
* Alan wasn't aware Rap was an action figure.
Rapunzel452: Oh, yeah. Everyone wants a small plastic me adorning their shelf.
AlecWire: Or a large plastic blow-up you...
#7118
<HowLeTT> if my back seat smells like pussy tomorrow, im going to be furious
<HowLeTT> seriously
#295266
<shinygerbil> is it basmati, long grain, what
<WolfLord> white!
<WolfLord> white rice!
<daeghnao> There's a zillion kinds of rice.
<WolfLord> white!
<WolfLord> hehe
<shinygerbil> DONT BE SO SUPREMACIST
<WolfLord> THE MASTER RICE
#307007
< Neoinr> Bust a move
< Bucket> mo ve
#15878
<Ouroboros> The large print giveth, and the fine print taketh away.
#8565
<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass
#42327
<Lanmut> what is a haiku?
<Lanmut> i have heard of them before...
<Lanmut> but never seen one
#302103
<bucketmouse> every time i feel depressed i just 7zip something from the commandline
<bucketmouse> lrobin$ 7za a test.7z blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Creating archive test.7z
<bucketmouse> Compressing blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Everything is Ok
#859
*** blazemore (empty3@dialup-209.245.205.138.Houston1.Level3.net) has joined #ramen
<LkAway1> blazemore: what happened on DBZ today?
<HomerJ> they fought some guy
#3099
<spazzer> i think i'm wearing my mom's pants right now
<spazzer> what the FUCK
#8264
* fo0bar has silverware now
<jk> is that a new kind of heatsink?
<jk> :D
<fo0bar> no, it's a metal-based bio-nutritional transport system
<jk> the thing... you use to... dig... food.
<jwz> it's more of a food shim.
<fo0bar> appearantly the technology has been around for awhile, but I haven't been able to afford the genuine metal equipment... I've had to use the plastic replicas
<fo0bar> though proper transport systems are appearantly a requirement when an xx chromosome pair is introduced into xy's atmosphere
#30462
<GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
<GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
<peasant> i call dibs on triangle
#256043
<GargajCNS> i'm going to fucking kill myself right now so i can submerge to hell and work there for years to get a promotion, so by the time other people die, i'll be in a position to torture their fucking souls for getting on my fucking nerves at work
#52194
<eclipse> Ebonics are kinda like women. I don't understand either of them, but they're both kinda neat.
#8864
<+Sonikku> 10 PRINT "_Bobbi_ is a PROGRAMER!"
<+Sonikku> 20 GOTO 10
<@dixon> Sonikku: what is that ? assembly ?