Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#52087
<@ALGORYTHM> got my road tax
<@ALGORYTHM> some sikh guy and his gf in the post office hate me now
<@ALGORYTHM> they started off, very long queue btw
<@ALGORYTHM> talking about the hair on his back :/
<@ALGORYTHM> bleh and i had to stand there and listen
<@ALGORYTHM> then they started talking about lost and wondering who dies in series two
<@ALGORYTHM> so i told them and they're like wtf
<+McFly> lol
<@ALGORYTHM> i said, i didn't want to know about the hair on your back and you didn't want to know about the spoiler
<@ALGORYTHM> so i think we're even
Comment: still on season 1 in the uk
#307156
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'
Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
#61017
Mattykins: i just did the stupidest thing evar
The Kaos Jester: Installed OS X?
Mattykins: okay i thought i broke my NIC on OS X right
Mattykins: cause it said "The Ethernet cable for Built-In Ethernet is not plugged in." right
Mattykins: and that's what it says when it is broken
Mattykins: so i spend like three hours trying to fix it
Mattykins: and i look behind the computer
Mattykins: the fucking network cable is unplugged
#32168
<THX1138> and farkers prefer choosy moms
<Puchu> no we don't
<Puchu> we prefer loose moms
<noeljb> yes I do
<noeljb> same thing as long as they don't have STDs
<Terron> or KIDs
Comment: #fark on irvingnet.net
#29045
<StillAway> omg i got spam saying 'someone at work likes you'. they really dont target this shit well do they, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB
#1869
<D\TOX> I'm 16% bodyfat
<D\TOX> I have a one pack
<jube_> a keg?
#20007
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#51035
<Rjx> so guys
<Rjx> i gotta get my computer to the USA somehow
<Rjx> as cheap as possible
<GerbilWrk> wrap it up in a condom and swallow it
<Jimmothy> put it in a condom and swallow it
<Rjx> you two aren't allowed to talk anymore
#59620
<nihon-jin> why would you need regular partner for causual sex.... i'm speaking about geeks & sex, not about geeks and relationships here
<teh_LaC> who needs a regular partner when you have regular expressions?
#6963
<felix:#slackware> ne1 isn't here. try AOL
#6905
<sbp> oh, I just remembered something
<Morbus> no, i already dropped your underwear in the mail.
#14205
<hoche> heredocs, theredocs, everwhereadocsdocs
<geo> old macdonald had a server farm
<geo> He eyed the I/O
#11066
InVerSeX: I scanned my penis in a flatbed scanner once.
The Spunn: did it hurt?
InVerSeX: No, I didn't close the lid.
InVerSeX: It was only a 14" scanner.
The Spunn: Ah, so you couldn't scan the whole thing.
InVerSeX: Exactly.
The Spunn: I had to fold mine in half to fit it all on the 14" scanner, that's the part that hurt the most.
InVerSeX: Well, I scanned mine limp and then used photoshop to get a stiffy.
#279961
<EricTheRed-> i just got a great idea, i can use my laptop to keep my pizza warm
<EricTheRed-> just put the box under the laptop and compile something
<`WarpKat> ...
#1529
<AlexChiu> Brent: Oh yeah. Well, would you have felt better if I hadn't told you about it and you got hit with a noxious stench upon prying off a girl's dry, crusty panties?
#141584
<Crucius> I had the best race home from work today
<Crucius> I pull out from work on my motorbike, and theres a guy on another bike right next to me, who sees me and like takes off
<Crucius> so I take off after him, and we're like dodging in and out of traffic hard out
<moxie> lol
<Crucius> and we stop at a set of lights, next to this guy on a scooter
<Crucius> lights go green and we're off again
<Crucius> doing like 120ish in a 50 zone
<moxie> lawd
<Crucius> get to the next set of lights
<Crucius> and like a minute later, the guy on the scooter arrives agaibn
<Crucius> lights change, and we're off again, but we get hed up by a big assed queue of traffic we cant get past
<moxie> D:
<Crucius> so we're sitting there waiting
<Crucius> and the guy on the scooter goes by in the cycle lane
<Crucius> and we just hung our heads
#58023
<ahanix1989> I'm two people short of a threesome :(
#307473
<Sanzh> wouldn't penis math be cockulus
<TheDeleter> Prickonometry?
<Schazer> dongrivatives?
<Jacquerel> arithmadicks
#114349
<curgoth> We are the canadian borg
<curgoth> please wait to be assimilated
<curgoth> resistance would be impolite
<curgoth> pour l'assimilation en francais, presse sur "2"
#428
<VicViper> NerdSex #73: Make sure you select the option "Always on Top"
#29301
<Dilbert|AFK> my homopage is www.fark.com
<Dilbert|AFK> ...
<Dilbert|AFK> and thats my homepage too
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#35570
<tharaka> wow, this is a new one...
<tharaka> microsoft connected to its ONLINE troubleshooting centre
<tharaka> only to tell me, "You Do Not Currently Have A Connection To The Internet"
<ducklord> they're making fun of you
<tharaka> is coz i is bleck
<ducklord> probably
<ducklord> they're trying to get you to destroy your computer in a murderous black rage
<ducklord> and/or pawn it
#24127
<Shadow> "Look! Up in the sky! Floating ejaculate!"
<Shadow> "Those are clouds, moron."
#14750
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your friends that you're dead
#6357
<UrMomsUnt> U cant ban me .. I'm telnet irc
<paisley> Alrighty.