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#7064
<Staberinde> The worst of the bunch was this
* Staberinde points at his crotch
<Staberinde> "Ya know this thing isn't going to blow itself!"
<CrashCat> it will if you wire it with explosives
<Staberinde> Well yes, but that's only when the zombies are near
#18744
<Breianna> no useless profanity?
<Breianna> oh fuck
#52107
godtoe: What do you think of fat women?
Relient K 0587: Define "fat"
godtoe: ( . )
#104113
<Opef> Bahh, screw you, free speech-to-text software.
<Opef> How the fuck does "hair straighteners" sound like "whore stranglers" anyway?
#5584
<Villager> haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'?
<Alexander> i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive'
#5699
<Thrash|Zzz> YAY HARRY POTTER ON DVD
<Khross{killme}> O_O
<Khross{killme}> I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY
<Khross{killme}> Oh wait I'm heterosexual.
#2118
<spazzer> paul is sad because he had a bout of premature ejaculation
<tobdude> everytime I think of premature ejaculation... I think like a gun going off without anybody firing it... like you are walking along... and BAM!@
<tobdude> oh crap! I just ejactulated myself
#3483
<Darksyde> dood you make texas look like a big dildo
<blazemore> i'd rather be a big dildo than a small dildo
<blazemore> especially the kind the secretes fake jizz that tastes like oranges
<Geek-> lol
<Geek-> how would you know about that shit?
* blazemore is away
#4036
<Tragician> MOTHER...FUCKING...FIREWALL!
<mightyflo> that's a horrible mental image
#25195
<@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor and dont share any files on any p2p networks
<@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3 just like you dont want to wait an hour to upload it so lets cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place
#307814
<+Raija> what does it feel like to use a penis, though?
<Skarlet> wuh?
<Skarlet> you don't know?
<Fritz> It feels awesome!
<+Raija> I mean, what does it feel like to fuck something with a penis
<Fritz> The power of the world in the palm if your hand
#1896
<gaspump> It takes more than tits to impress me.
<gaspump> Lord knows everyone in here should already know that.
<Richard_D_James> It's hard to masturbate to intelligence, though.
#310370
<khelp_work> hey folks
<kerin> yo
<khelp_work> hows it going?
<kerin> like it has fallen to me once again to make war against countless unmotivated shit-for-brains assholes who have dedicated every fiber of their mediocre existences to undermining everything i have striven to accomplish
<kerin> it is as though i stand alone in a howling gale of misery and uselessness
<khelp_work> so...mondays?
<kerin> yes
<kerin> you have summarized the situation nicely
#38280
<Mech> wow 8th grade was so long ago
<Mech> so many memories.
* Mech represses them again.
#6043
<Corndog24> the corndog got dumped tonight
<The_Freak> Don't worry Corn, you're still cousins, right?
#13526
* Huz cries.
*** Huz has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
#111114
<Trinexx> So, we were all sitting around, trying to decide who would cook tonight.
<Trinexx> Someone got the wonderful idea of making ME cook, despite the fact that I once caught ramen noodles on fire. I, of course, told them it was a bad idea. They didn't believe me. Gave me a recipe and very precise directions. I finally agreed to do it, but only if they understood that they eat at their own risk.
<Trinexx> So yeah, we've all got food poisoning now.
#10972
Lara: I wonder if something scary will happen if I rotate my Everglide 180 degrees
*** Joins: Twitch (none@12-218-101-151.client.mchsi.com)
Lara: |\O_o/|
* Lara rotates it back
#1065
*** bongboy is now known as hurstdogs-mom
<hurstdog> don't make me kill you
<pb> hurstdog: you'd kill your own mother???
#21733
<CommanderStab> <Poppins> lets vote on whether it should be a democracy or not
<CommanderStab> You DID realise how stupid that was before you said it, right? ^_-
#39504
<THX> i love this one. i told my friend when he went to jury duty, no matter what the case was, tell them he couldnt serve cause the defendant committed the same crime against him.
<THX> he got assigned a rape case.
#3373
<Wes> While most dudes go day-to-day waiting for sex to happen, the sex offenders go out and MAKE it happen.
#11648
<Homer> Hydrac7: $400 Cdn or less now, get a job for like two weeks
<Hydrac7> How much is that in USD?
<Homer> like $12
#4815
<Dabljuh> hey
<Dabljuh> People keep mentioning I would be akilled
<Dabljuh> which is simply not true
*** Quits: Dabljuh (~dabljuh@195.141.143.ZiRC-52133) (User has been banned from ZiRC (Repeated ban evasion))
#26286
I like 2eat tape: when i was in 4 th grade there was this awesome 5 grader matthew podawski, i rememeber, and he used to ride his bike to school and mis match socks and and i really wanted to be his friend but he was so weird and he thanked me for the offer but was like "one friend in the world is enough" he then transfered schools