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#6459
<Bobo> what's wrong with being a homosexual?
<klong> it's gay
#25124
<maddox> You know what I hate? Programs that pretend like they're sentient beings. Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type "bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let you do that." Yeah? Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.
#3975
<ScumDog> my first BBS name ever, when I was something like 11 years old, was pothead.
<ScumDog> except that I was named after a local band, and had no idea what an actual "pothead" was
<ScumDog> so people were always like "Rahhh! 420 4-ever!!!" and I had no clue what they were talking about
#135435
<ZALOAWAY> .
<ie|Stacks> good point
#73744
<Tony-UH> today in a lecture... i was sitting in front of these 2 guys who were chatting quite loudly
<Tony-UH> they went on for a while
<Tony-UH> i was gonna turn to them and tell them to stfu
<Tony-UH> but then i heard another guy trying to say something to them
<Tony-UH> it was "excuse me guys, can you stop please, i'm trying to sleep here"
#47952
(Galisus): the clitoris is that thing in the back of the throat, right?
#310642
<muskets> to be tonic water all you NEED is water, bubbles and quinine
<muskets> and then usually you put lots of gin in it
<muskets> it's a british thing because it was medicine but we mixed it with booze to make it taste less awful
<muskets> and then we decided we LIKED it
<muskets> and now we drink it entirely because we want to
<kerin> this is also the story behind gin but in reverse
<kerin> alcohol was supposed to cure a lot of what ails ye
<kerin> but distilled grain alcohol kind of sucks to drink, so hey let's add some mother fucking juniper
<kerin> alright this is rad, i can't wait to get diagnosed with something so i can drink it all fucking day
<kerin> etc
<kerin> so really the gin and tonic brings the story full circle in a beautiful way
<muskets> yeah
<muskets> the main difference is that the original tonic water WORKED
<muskets> it was malaria prophylaxis
<kerin> well, gin worked if your problem was the horror of being trapped in pre-industrial europe
<kerin> it's about the only thing that did
<catplanet> ROFL
#34579
<joe> http://joe.neoturbine.net:8000/packages < an incomplete log of everything i hav compiled and installed over the yrs
<DimaV> ^ ---- proof that u need to get out to RL more often
#25168
<CrackZ> I'm gonna be getting a new boss soon too
<CrackZ> its a power hungry female
<CrackZ> ya know the type
<CrackZ> her 'can do' profile is going to clash with my 'can't be arsed' profile
#7106
(Deathwing) I get to see a concert tomorrow, so there
(Lanfear) what concert?
(Deathwing) some guy who plays guitar for commercials
(zed) Wow, some guy who plays guitar for commercials.
(Deathwing) zed, he's one of the most famous guitarist in the world, actually
(Deathwing) up there with Joe Satriani, among others
(Lanfear) that's why you call him 'some guy'?
#28640
<StarExile> PLEASE OH GOD help me find a nick
<StarExile> like fucking hell -.
<StarExile> sry
<StarExile> heh
<JayBlalock> Tonight's random spaz attack has been brought to you by StarExile.
#56367
<FrozenTrout> I stubbed my toe
<Thorog> (This toe is a stub. You can help #sluggysquad by expanding it!)
#118944
<Wendell> Who's that?
<Texture> qdb.us random quote
<Texture> it's like chatting on IRC
<Texture> except you don't have to chat
<Texture> and you just read the funniest parts
#58082
<Emerl> Ok, so I ordered pizza from Dominos last night. (It's the only place in town that delivers.)
<Emerl> When the delivery guy walks up, I notice two weird things. 1. He's not wearing a name tag. 2. He is fat and has pizza stains on his shirt
<Emerl> So then I take the pizza and pay. He's squirming, real suspicious-like. When he gets the money, he runs out and gets into his car, and does a burnout as he accelerates away.
<Emerl> I open the pizza box and it looks like fucking Pac-man
<Emerl> This fucker got hungry and ate my pizza
<Emerl> Anyway, I reported him and got him fired
<Emerl> Apparently, this wasn't the first time this happened
Comment: ...
#62085
<jengelh:##c++> void jesus_ify(void) { return dynamic_cast<wine>(water); }
#345
(@X2-down) this is mark eg, he hugged me and creamed in my ear
(@X2-down) er screamed
#6717
<WinTek> whats a good efnet server?
<Julie2> thats an oxymoron
<ToidyMan> WinTek, good and efnet don't belong in the same sentence
<F`Nar> they don't belong on the same internet
#23130
<Quietetetet> I think all the bash moderators wear ku klux klan clothes at the weekend
#1188
<Guilty> You see
<Guilty> Fat ugly girls shouldnt be allowed to use ":)"
<Guilty> Their sign should be "=)000"
#8682
<jamesm> what are you running on the alphas?
<MMouse> tru64 at the moment
<MMouse> with oracle
<jamesm> no wonder so many dotcoms go under
#9625
<Giuslaien> hi!!
<Giuslaien> I am dj of the brasil I have you vary music with Latin interferences.
<Giuslaien> do I like to change music, some kindred dj of changing music?
<Giuslaien> are you of where?
<Giuslaien> which your name?
#14592
<ElZango> I was introduced to Tolkein by a trio of British social scientists in Peru who also introduced me to Marxism.
<ElZango> They tossed LotR at me and said "it's reactionary, but amusing." I was 11.
<FuzLogic> <ElZango> they let me sleep in the closet when I was good.
#298611
<hayden> her: "i thought since you're good with electronics you could tell me whats wrong with my ipod..."
<hayden> her: "i dropped it in a lake, but-"
<hayden> me: "you dropped it in a lake?"
<hayden> her: "yeah but the little sticker didn't turn red"
<hayden> me: "you dropped it in a lake"
#3572
*** Villager has joined #akpcep
<Villager> damn AOL
<Joshua> ...
<Alexander> hi vill
<Joshua> jesus shit!
<Joshua> you ARE using AOL!
<Joshua> i thought you were joking...
#301489
<Anoria> but the replacement parts are coming out of a $3 camera from ebay, so maybe something weird happened to this particular screen. there were no polarizers in either of the parts cameras.
<Bunsen> Man, this is why we need mantis shrimp vision.
<Anoria> I'm simply dying to know what you mean by that.
<Bunsen> Mantis shrimp have freakishly detailed perception of light.
<Bunsen> Like several more pigments than us, plus sensitivity to horizontal, vertical, and circular polarization.
<Anoria> yikes.
<peer> what does a shrimp need with that kind of vision?
<Bunsen> Hell if I know. Ask one.
<Anoria> I know there are beetles whose carapaces circularly polarize light, but I somehow doubt they share habitat
* Anoria reassembles the camera with both polarizers in place so they don't get lost in case someone eventually figures out what to do with them
<Anoria> or not polarizers. gratings. whatever.
<Bunsen> Oh my, I had forgotten that mantis shrimp are also capable of snapping their claws hard enough to cause cavitation and sonoluminescence.
<Anoria> wtf they're physics shrimp
<Bunsen> Exactly.
<Bunsen> Put 'em in heavy water, and I'm pretty sure they'll discover fusion.
<c0nsumer> why have you not done this yet?
<Bunsen> Because I, for one, do *not* welcome our new fusion-powered optics-researching crustacean overlords.
Comment: I'm going to start a band called Physics Shrimp.