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#310205
<kmc> the other day I bought a recycling can from amazon
<kmc> it came in a cardboard box
<kmc> i took the can out of the box, broke down the box, and put it in the can
<kmc> it was amazing
#310284
<bionicfen> I am starting to get tired of my aspie friend staying in my guest room
<bionicfen> it smells of balls
<bionicfen> because he is having A Sad and not showering
<JDigital> help him into the shower like that time in King of the Hill where the bald one is having a sad
<bionicfen> oh my god my friend is Bill
<bionicfen> jesus fuckiing christ JD you son of a bitch
<bionicfen> I had not made this connection
<bionicfen> Like all he's missing is the ex wife
<bionicfen> man globalization is an amazing thing
<bionicfen> an Northern Irish dungeon master manages to completely grasp the essence of a man I've known for 15 years in a single sentence, referencing a cartoon television show
#197259
datagram: Hey
janelle: im janelles sister, im 16
janelle: she's away
datagram: Well hello there
datagram: Are you young and impressionable?
janelle: she warned me about you already
#16256
<mrfrosty> your'e a faggot short of a raging fire
<mrfrosty> if you know what i mean
<mrfrosty> and if you do, let me know
#197843
<toby> if you look up 'outer' on wikipedia
<toby> you are redirected to 'interior'
<toby> i didn't expect an article but come now
<toby> it looks like a wacky big brother logan's run type of thing
<toby> don't concern yourself with the outside! what's inside our suspicious utopian encyclopedia is all your life need be!
#5479
<Sinner_> you tell me who you want killed, and ill tell you the girl i want the blowjob from
#20571
<ArcticFox> uugh.. I wish I had food.. all I have left are fudgecicles.
<Falkon> How much health do they give?
<Falkon> ...I did not just say that.
<ArcticFox> ...
<ArcticFox> THEY GIVE ME JUST ENOUGH HP TO KICK YOUR ASS.
#14860
[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] •Necro• ...
#309761
<@b0lt> why is the OS X trackpad scrolling speed setting hidden in the accessibility settings panel
<tuple> because if the apple way isnt right for you, you must be handicapped
#60320
<PLUN> I've just had a vision of my future
<PLUN> Founder and proprieter of the internets' biggest Starcraft hentai site
<PLUN> On the upside, I'd stand to make a ton of money...
<PLUN> ...on the flipside, i'd be the Founder and proprieter of the internets' biggest Starcraft hentai site
Comment: Chugworth.com
#57129
* qual makes a mental note to look behind couches more often
<Ice_> what did you find?
<qual> just found a full system behind me couch, amd athlon 2400+
<qual> with 2 x 120 gb hd's in there
<qual> and a sb 5.1 soundcard
#4628
* Smatters sets mode: +girlfriend -lan Element Element
*** Element is now known as You
* You are not an relationship operator. Cannot set mode (+girlfriend)
#53151
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.
Comment: true story, i fixed the code and am running it again
#20401
<bucketms> any idea how fast your comp is?
<dan> how do I check?
<bucketms> go to the desktop, right click on My Computer, go to properties
<dan> i have GENERIC IDE DISK TYPE 46!
<dan> SWEET
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#235987
<ousti> I'm yelling at you in Korean right now, but you can't hear me!
<Raiden> Are you going "kekekekekeke Zerg rush ^________^"
#4203
<zeron> :))))))))))
<ckx> that looks like icewizard smiling
<ckx> all 50 chins
#309357
<Sorts> Mind. Blown.
<pooryoric> ...What a charmingly tiny explosion. :P
#101859
[@TheWickerMan] Sometimes when I'm sad I echo happy phrases to myself like /echo you're a winner !!!
[@ias] that's sad
you're a winner !!!
#29091
* phox01d believes his testicles to be itchy
* LordRuKK nods to phox
<LordRuKK> go a day without a shower in this heat and..
* phox01d is now known as phoxleep
<phoxleep> no
<phoxleep> this isnt from not being clean
<LordRuKK> I'm not troubleshooting your testicles
<LordRuKK> go to bed
#6649
(talking about a guy that worked at the world trade center)
<@PowrSlave> this poor fuck is getting divorced cuz of 9/11
<@PowrSlave> lol
<@PowrSlave> his wife filed
<@PowrSlave> he didnt go into work that morning and went to his mistresses' house instead
<@PowrSlave> had his phone off
<nonzeRo> haha
<nonzeRo> lucky guy
<@PowrSlave> he turned it on at around 11:00 and his wife was like "OMFG ARE YOU OKAY WHERE ARE YOUR?"
<@PowrSlave> hes like "im at the office honey. whats the matter?"
<@PowrSlave> lol
#69572
<Apollo> FUCK!
<Apollo> god damnit, I just copied an entire directory by accident. christ, I hate linux >:(
<Apollo> *sigh* brb, reformatting AGAIN
<Trinexx> wait, why are you reformatting? O_o
<Apollo> oh, i havent figured out how to delete files in linux yet, so I just reformat the harddrive when I need to delete something
<Trinexx> you serious? XD
<Apollo> bbiab.
<Trinexx> just use "rm <filename>" you fucking idiot
** Signoff: Apollo (Quit: Reformatting, AGAIN)
<Trinexx> ... or not :/
#101024
<@Catcher> haha
<@Catcher> i just left a note in my sisters weed box-- "Jes, We need to talk. -Mom"
<@var> hahahahahhaa
< wind`> lol
< TMH> hahaha
<@Catcher> shes going to shit her pants for like 2 seconds until she sees the back of the note
Comment: #geekissues @ EFNet
#3857
<Hiko> "all the people in #bemani are child molesters"
<nitrifik_> I'm not.
<mightyflo> not according to swedish law, anyway
<nitrifik_> exactly.
<nitrifik_> I have never sexed anyone below 15, so I'm all legal.
#49596
<Erika> fuckdammit
<shminux> hi to you too, Erika
<Erika> Hi shminux.
* Erika stabs things.
<shminux> 'sup?
<Erika> Oh, just a torrent I really wanted just died on me.
<shminux> ah... could be worse
<Erika> True.
<shminux> hmm, that being huggles, I could have said something more comforting
<cmantito> damn right
<shminux> well, say something... she is crying her eyes out here, cmantito
<cmantito> the torrent is in a better place#
<cmantito> it's in binary heaven now
<cmantito> jumping from seeder to seeder with ample bandwidth
<cmantito> with all the trackers it could EVER want.
Comment: mWtNet, #huggles