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#10726
<FuriousG> shan|bbl
<FuriousG> you there?
<FuriousG> guess not
<FuriousG> but, one day, you will be there, and then, then... you will be at my mercy, and i will not be benevolent
<FuriousG> *sigh*
<FuriousG> i need to get out more.
#5275
<zymurgy> #define NULL NULL /* because I can dammit! */
#35801
<Tres|Status> eh, i can't find a job because i spend too much time reading bash.org
#310894
<@witheld> Well, my computer from the age of 3 to about 10 was this frankenstein build that a family friend built us running 95. When I first started using it I just used a program called "baby type" which created various noises and visualizations from pressing buttons and messing with the mouse
<@witheld> And then when I was 10 or so the mexican guy gave me my own windows 98 computer
<@witheld> mexican guy down the street*
<@KittyKatt> Oh, I thought you meant THE mexican guy.
<@KittyKatt> Like, everyone was supposed to get their computer from the mexican guy at the age of 10.
#117205
<ghib[2d]> yeah, it's like when I tell my nephews and nieces what I do they all go ..coooool!!.. and I'm thinking if only you knew what that entailed you wouldn't be saying that
<ghib[2d]> masturbating pigs for a living isn't fun
<brome> What do you do ?
<brome> uh
<brome> wtf
#194565
<protospork> I just clicked on a random image link in a conversation about cocks
<protospork> man that was smart
#56901
<glowsun> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
<glowsun> and got mauled
<glowsun> and people were talking about how there should have been better defenses put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<glowsun> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<glowsun> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in
#309886
<Jigsy> Fucking around with computers is how I became a registered Hex offender.
#29352
<clay> ive always wanted to pay a hot cashier with food stamps and then ask her out
#49239
<looksofat> i got 17 cents for food in the next week but i got CoD 2 preordered and pre-payed and IT OWNS ASS
#27187
<RoseThorn> AFK, having a baby
#105688
<QBeep> Reminds me of one of my fevorite moments...
<QBeep> I've just finished changing a tire that went flat on the way to delivering a pizza. I'm covered in mud, grease, and black tire grime.
<QBeep> My right hand is bleeding, my face is smudged.
<chillin_work> attractive
<QBeep> I'm standing on this customer's porch, with a pizza that was ordered from the Pizza Hut web site. The customer opens the door, and what falls out of my mouth is,
<QBeep> "Hi, ma'am, I'm from the Internet"...
#18619
<@FiveNine> sailor moon is hot
<@FiveNine> they should just make that series a porno
<@kmad> yea for like 15 yearold
<@FiveNine> yeah
<@kmad> i wouldn't do her though
<@kmad> id get papercuts all over my dick
#30562
<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
* frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...
#307486
<centrinia> I am going to make something similar to a home pregnancy test device.
<robb_www> but it will be made of RAZORBLADES
<robb_www> and it will always say "not anymore"
#25161
<FFChatter > est ce quelqu un sait comment on fait apparaitre le menu triche dans FFX??
<Drago> Anyone speak French?
<FFChatter > yes me
#14648
<pandz>the computer guy at the store told me to flash my bios...i says to him flash this...
#32230
<Gothic_CatGirl> KING ME
* invader_mog sets mode: +v Gothic_CatGirl
#45237
systm0verl0rd: i don't use 128bit encription, its unsecure. i use 127bit, so if anyone ever cracks it, my passwords will always be one character off.
storm-shadow: i hope to God you're joking.
#146569
<JSPX9> Whats the unit of measurement for energy in general?
<Totaliz> watt
<JSPX9> If you don't know then just don't fucking say anything, don't say fucking "wat" you douche
<Totaliz> no fuckbag its a "watt"
<JSPX9> Oh...sorry
#6780
<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of porn!"
#296072
<keiretsu> today at uni the lecturer was trying to open up his powerpoint presentation
<keiretsu> he opens Powerpoint from the start menu and clicks the Save button at the top (with a blank document currently open)
<keiretsu> while he's navigating around someone tells him that he clicked the save button and he responds "yes, that's to save a file"
<keiretsu> and he navigates to his lecture presentation thingy and double clicks it and it prompts him wiht the "do you wish to overwrite" dialog and he clicks Yes
<keiretsu> and the whole lecture theatre started laughing out loud at him and some guy was shouting "GG"
<surfichris> lol
<keiretsu> he closes powerpoint and navigates to it in windows explorer and double clicks it and it's now a blank document :p
#46698
-dmwaters- {global notice} Hi all.... erm, that netsplit was my fault.... I accidently killed the wrong process on the wrong box. I'm very very sorry for that... Thank you for your patience, and thank you for using freenode...
#41867
<(dank)> so I was hanging at the bar last night, and I see what is possibly the ugliest man I've ever seen sitting close to me
<(dank)> and he's got his hand over his drink, looking around at everyone really suspiciously
<(dank)> I walk over and ask "what the hell are you doing?"
<(dank)> and he says: "someone might slip one o' those date rape drugs into my drink"
#5869
<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)