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#637
<MrFalcon> Rattus: it's just random chance that i hit the keyboard in such a way that my responses make sense
#20905
<Dabz> truly.nice.ass.3.cd2.avi <- disney film about a really friendly donkey?
#1543
<Amanda> I remember being in Europe
<Amanda> and I'd call shaft from payphones to ask if we'd gotten the channel back yet
#34321
<CFC2> every have one of those days where you want to code but you cant be bothered
<ryan[WIN]> those are called "weekdays"
#2770
<VmprHntrD> magic: the gathering of lower lifeforms
#128655
<Kitty> I'm not a vegetarian because I like animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
#296866
<Pryoidain> I just spazzed on some poor telemarketer, and then orchestrated it to my advantage
<Pryoidain> I picked up my cell phone
<Pryoidain> he said something about vacuumes
<Pryoidain> and I just made this series of loud noises
<Pryoidain> then held the phone away from my face, and yelled in my normal voice
<Pryoidain> "JESUS HE'S GOT THE PHONE!"
<Pryoidain> then dropped it and fumbled it a few times
<Pryoidain> then picked it up, and very calmly said
<Pryoidain> "Nathanial Private Mental Services, How may I help you?"
<Pryoidain> I heard a click, and that's the last I think I'll ever hear from them
#307328
<Xynth> Seriously, who starts their name with an X? How do you even pronounce that?
#303622
Mike: "now that you all are awake. are there anyone who can help with my problem? I have compressed my important files with md5sum. how do I decompress them ?"
#5314
<McMoo> i think i dislocated my esophagus
<josho-> fix it with everclear
#32656
<j0rk> they had a pic of that on stileproject
<j0rk> guy suckin his own dick
<kookiekrak> u need a long dick to suck your own
<Mallard> I hurt my neck trying to suck my own dick .. I fell off the toilet
<Pulp> Yeah, I've tried that. My neck hurt for a week but it's possible
<Mallard> mom was like .. are you ok.. I said yeah
<Cloud02> wtf
<[MnM]HITMAN> lol
<Cloud02> the mom knew ?
<Mallard> no she heard me fall off the toilet tho
#13121
<i_am_pi> (pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it
<i_am_pi> i love QDB./
<i_am_pi> www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<pedXing> i_am_pi: I believe it's a 2 year minimum sentence, but I'm sure they'd be laughing.
<Kthulu> i doubt they'd find it funny
#14623
(_3TS|ZaW): ahh yes...i recall when i first lit my nuts ablaze...it was in chemistry...it said "light the burner." and when i was lighting it, my pants slipped off and my penis flopped over the bunson burner...darndest thing...
#61139
<Saito|SemiHere> HA!
<Saito|SemiHere> I pwned my ex.
<Saito|SemiHere> we were snuggling and I leaned over like I was going to kiss him and said "Kthxbye."
#28877
<wild-> oh its the hives that sing it
<wild-> i get confused by all these 'the' bands
#290462
<anon9k3> i need to remmenber to buy a card tomorrow :/
<anon9k3> but I'm not sure what kind to get
<Allah> a condolence card
<anon9k3> ass
<anon9k3> birthday
<anon9k3> I mean, I'm not sure what kind of birthday card to get for the person
<Allah> male or female?
<anon9k3> female
<Allah> then defiantly a condolence card, females hate getting older
#8583
<sugar> if superman and batman got into a fight, who would win?
<muffins> well, superman wears his undies on the outside...batman wears his on his head
<muffins> tough call
#6486
<wmf> AaronSw: what did I tell you about Stallman?
<AaronSw> not to have sex with him?
#11577
<Dark_Lord411> hi
<Dark_Lord411> asl
<ShockSMX> no, dsl... you?
#7332
<AshiFoo> I just need a life now
<AshiFoo> and a faster 'net connection
#32893
<+RageAgainsttheAmish> this incence im burning owns
<@Aunt_Jemima> that reminds me of a story
<@Aunt_Jemima> i was at my friends house
<@Aunt_Jemima> and he is a complete stoner
<@Aunt_Jemima> but his dad is a born again christian
<@Aunt_Jemima> and he was burning incense
<@Aunt_Jemima> his dad walks in the door and says in a southern accent
<@Aunt_Jemima> "son, i dont want you burning that incense. its the gateway to drugs"
#26415
* Rjx had this weird dream
<Rjx> I was watching a documentary about goatse
<Rjx> and they were comparing it to all these artists' work
<Rjx> that's the last time I eat cheese before bed
#6215
[giR`] WTF am i supposed to do with all of these TV's!!!!
[zimm] ever heard of surround vision?
[zimm] daisy chain them or something
#4324
<|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I can't get it
#8829
<TheTheory> I only have two exams left this semester
<TheTheory> Math (easy) and English (WERY easy)