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#23380
<Arrgh> hmmm... i need to write my own matrix code
<Harrison> Yes, Arrgh!
<Harrison> Then you can subjugate the entire human population!
<Harrison> Except for a small number of upstarts who'll wind up totally ruining your plans.
<Harrison> One of them will be a terrible actor.
<Arrgh> naw, that has a scale thats much too big
<Arrgh> i'll have to just subjugate all of you gys
<Harrison> Can I be the bad actor?
<Arrgh> i dunno, you need to audition!
<Harrison> Ok ok ok. How's this...
<Harrison> "Whoa."
<Arrgh> you're hired!
#48960
<RoboCurse> like one time we were talkin about pregnant sex
<RoboCurse> and this dude
<RoboCurse> blurts out
<RoboCurse> "its like sex with a mini handjob!"
<RoboCurse> 6 people leaving dennys hungry.
#9346
<bob> you're like "i want something that uses gtk :(" and redhat's like "YOU MUST NOW INSTALL GNOME-CORE; GNOME-TOYS; GNOME-QUAKE; GNOME-PRETTY-CAT-THAT-DANCES-ON-YOUR-WINDOWZ"
<bob> "Press Space Bar to install 1986 Space Shuttle Schematics"
<bob> "Or Enter to install HAM RADIO to RealPlayer signal converter"
<bob> "Or press nothing, and I will Reboot"
#51077
(@yt): i need something that symbolises my alter-ego. Bowler hat, briefcase, umberella, monacle
(@yt): etc
(rocksicle): your alter-ego is the penguin?
#7152
<Fryboy> stormos sister aint that bad
<stormo> please don't talk about my sister like that
<ambrness> go back to insulting me and my taste, Fryboy .. safer ground
<stormo> she has more integrity than to go out with some loser who spends all his life on IRC
<Fryboy> ahahahah
-ambrness- thats why incest is out of the question for him
#6645
<Sonya> 14/f/nj
<rewben> oh
<rewben> im 54/n/netherlands
<Silvana> what's n?
<elph> i guess n is for nice ass
#301600
Ariel: i can't find my bball practice uniform
Ariel: he's gonna make me run all practice
Bryan: D:
Ariel: I checked the wardrobe, the laundry the closet and still can't find it
Bryan: check the bed!
Ariel: It wouldn't be there
Bryan: i once found a hammer in the fridge don't tell me you can't find clothes in a bed
#1835
[09:56] <Thom> I wonder how many words they have for 'pervert'.
[09:56] <Squizzle> None.
[09:56] <Squizzle> The closest is their word for "native", I bet.
[09:57] <Thom> 'hentai'. 'ecchi'.
[09:57] <Squizzle> Those both mean "Japanese man".
#10158
<vegetaandnappa> nothing, just pissed at my GAY mouse
<shqua> Your mouth has a sexual preference?
<shqua> Err...
<shqua> Mouse.
shqua (~shqua@net47-206.fhsu.edu) is now known as DrFreud
<DrFreud> Oh, my...
#22280
<MegamanX2K> C'mon, of course Bush is going to play it safe with Korea. Would YOU want to have your legacy tarnished by the world's bloodiest Zerg Rush?
#8367
<AsylumXKP> WTF?
<AsylumXKP> http://www.goats.cx is no longer the most mentioned URL in this channel
#2860
<semi> +
<semi> oops
<semi> keyboard almost fell, caught it by the numpad end
<MrP-> +
<MrP-> oops
<MrP-> same here
#624
<MadHatter> sjkdfkl;'
<Jingoro`> hatters snorting off his keyboard again
#7711
<sc1> the video was compressed at 5fps
<sc1> jesus this sucks
<asmodius> Jesus can't help with sucky frame rates. Trust me on that one.
<asmodius> He's pretty useless when it comes to video compression rates.
#19414
[gossip] <Vellius> ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how to speak english
#311148
<Flanders> $markov Mozilla
<ChelsieBot> Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT lol GOOD IDEA, CHELSIEBOT!
<Kawa> Hold up
<Kawa> Did she just notice she got in a loop?!
#4449
<the_hydra> I got a hemorroid once and used Preparation H's little "anal applicator" and didn't think it was really worth it. I think they just included that as a joke.
#20808
<[FMa]Brick> just teh first time?
<[NTAC]Crazzeh_Timmeh> just for now
<[FMa]Brick> let my b/f pull out first
#295706
Lord Adam: you know what
Lord Adam: If I feel crap
Lord Adam: I should just look at that picture of the dog in the towel
Amelia: you know
Amelia: you should show like.. bin laden that photo
Amelia: he'll just smile and say
Amelia: "You know.. the war is stupid. No more fighting - I'm getting me a dog. I already have a towel.
#8492
<KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*)
<KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all.
<Bayls> KK - What's your speech?
<KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end"
<KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.
#52608
arap816: hmm, so i just got back to my dorm after leaving in a hurry saturday morning
bob3: yes?
arap816: and i think i just summarized friday night with one question to my roommate
arap816: "why is there a doorknob on my desk?"
Comment: It was a serious question, and it's still a mystery.
#305147
<MurderMachine> So.
<MurderMachine> My rectal went something like this:
<MurderMachine> "Tell me when it feels uncomfortable"
<MurderMachine> "Dr Donaldson I'm lying on a bed pointing my ass at a relative stranger. It's already less comfortable than I'd like."
#53534
Anony-X>so its dark right
Anony-X>and theres something wet on my shirt
Anony-X>my imediate thought is gravy left from tea
Anony-X>so i lick it
Anony-X>turns out i sneezed earlier...
Anony-X>=[
Anony-X>this is the worst new years ever.
#3227
<memo> rgiorew09u34290
<Squizzle> Memo speaks ancient Decepticon!
#5782
<djm> irc's my anti-drug