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#305574
<@Timmeh> harrah, my dad got through his surgery well
<@Timmeh> so well in fact his main complaint is having to wear a hospital gown
<@Timmeh> first words through the door "hey dad, how're you feeling?" "I'm wearing a fucking dress, son"
#64
<Ash> Win2k! ^_^
*** Ash Quit (Read error: 73 (Connection reset by peer))
#302530
<Apophis> Somalian radio stations have banned certain songs
<Apophis> my first thought upon learning this was, 'they'll still be played on pirate radio'
<Apophis> then I punched myself
#52050
<Freenode> <Renski> Thats weird, im more impressed that im talking with someone from another network, than I am with the fact that you could be anywhere on the planet.
Comment: 'Freenode' is a relay bot from Freenode#winapi to EFnet#winapi
#304406
<atari2600a> anyone else ever stare at that last supper painting
<atari2600a> & think to themselves what jesus was thinking
* atari2600a are now known as jesus
* jesus looks to the left, right
<jesus> you know there's FOUR SIDES to this table right?
<nwongfeiying> What?
<nwongfeiying> Lies.
<jesus> we all don't have to be scrunched together like this
<jesus> Judas what the fuck are you doing
<jesus> pass the rolls you asshole
<jesus> GOD DAMNIT the sun's burning the back of my fucking head!
<Armandtanzarian> i think the dinner is the least of your concerns
<Armandtanzarian> there are idiots in texas burning abortion clinics
<jesus> brb, Romans
#57727
<Grendel> I just got handed to torch of OH&S rep for the branch
<Grendel> Under humourous circumstances
<Grendel> I cut myself on a de-burring machine, yelled "FUCK" and got myself a bandaid
<Grendel> Our OH&S guy Damo said "You know where the bandaids are? Maybe you should be the rep instead of me"
#114641
<AuntieEm> Bah, lots of men with ornamental balls :)
<^Da5id^> AuntieEm: yeah, they're called 'married'
#27473
<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to go hiking, but I'd have to get up...
#37376
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die
#11074
<Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond.
#28826
<PhoenixUltima> Why the hell do you think people believe in Jesus?
<terra> BECAUSE JESUS EIGHT NINE!
#14300
Phantbert> I work at a pizza place
Phantbert> and the smallest size pizza is called a 6-inch
Phantbert> so yesterday
Phantbert> I actually uttered the phrase
Phantbert> "I have a six inch sausage."
#42904
<BolognaMoFo> the only way I use warez is to ask where my pants are
<BolognaMoFo> warez my pants
#9081
Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.
#50343
<polpotpie> Guy came into the photo store today to pick up a roll we had developed.
<polpotpie> He goes, “I have no idea what’s on this roll.”
<polpotpie> I said with a smile, “Sir, sometimes those can be the best ones!”
<polpotpie> He replies, “My son was killed in a car crash 2 weeks ago and this roll was in his car.”
<polpotpie> C’est la vie.
#4825
*** Toramo has joined #---------
<Toramo> It's a full house tonight!!!
<Illuvatar> Can I be uncle Joey?
#31096
<DaJoob> is there any recycle bin type thing in FreeBSD where i can recover recently deleted files? i just accidentally deleted a symbolic link
#28739
<+n0th1ng> after sex like 3 times a day with a girl, jacking off is really gay
<xcp> no, having sex with a guy is gay
#60285
<Bozbozboz> I have chickens
<Bozbozboz> they're cute and fluffy
<Bozbozboz> ickle baby yellow ones
<Diggeh> you mean nuggets?
<Bozbozboz> nuggets are not chicken, fool
<Diggeh> a baby chicken is a nugget
<Garg> Since when?
<Diggeh> i'm sure it is. if a baby chicken isn't a nugget wtf is it?
<lottie_pants> i think it's 'chick'
<Bozbozboz> I thought it was a chick
<Diggeh> then whats a chicken nugget? :/
<Garg> A small nibble made from processed chicken bits?
<Diggeh> ohhh
<Diggeh> fs
<Diggeh> DON'T JUDGE ME
Comment: He really thought nuggets were baby chickens
#104052
<Opef> This one time at Madonna Camp, I stuck a flute, a tuba, a didgeridoo, a clarinet, a trumpet, a violin, a double bass, a guitar, and a cello in my pussy.
#66025
<xevious> hey did you guys hear that they are recalling all of steve irwins sunscreen line?
<Rofflecop> WHY?
<xevious> apparently it doesnt protect against deadly rays
Comment: #lsg [efnet]
#10361
<AsylumXKP> And it hard to hit on the German chicks thanks to the thick language barrier.
<Erdrick> just pull it out and point to it
#25622
<kisama> these penguin mints are weak
<Guilty> Snow you're in college now, you need amphetamines
<Guilty> No weak caffeine mints
#303238
<gnolam> Blargh.
* gnolam is washing dishes.
<gnolam> Some of this stuff has been lying unwashed for so long that cleaning it is a truly /epic/ task.
<gnolam> So epic I think I should write a poem about it.
<gnolam> I shall call it... "The Grime of the Ancient Marinade".
#29648
<Huzzler> chmod 777 kouha
<Huzzler> Now I can make you do stuff for me :-)
<Factotum> 777?!? You slut!
<Huzzler> Yeah!
<Huzzler> Execute him :-)
<Factotum> ./kouha
<kouha> Hi. I'm Kouha version 0.456 beta. Rape me.