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#3292
<nakke> I should edit my Notes views so I can mark emails from my colleagues as "sux"
#101461
<Rendrag> just remember your car actually has to stop at stop signs
<Rendrag> my driving teacher only told me my wheels must stop rotating
<Rendrag> i took her at her word
<Rendrag> and slid it round the corner onto the main street at 60 with all four wheels locked up
<LDM> hahahahahaha, Nice one.
<Rendrag> needless to say i had to sit my test a second time :)
#35546
<mog> its kind of amusing how much of an idiot my sister is
<mog> so my mom gave my sister and I $30 to get food and what not for 5 days
<mog> so on the first night I suggest to my sister "Why don't we go to the grocery store and pick up stuff like cans of soup so we can eat those all week"
<mog> "NO I WANT MCDONALDS LETS GO TO MCDONALDS"
<mog> so now because she rather get fast food than use common fucking sense, at day 3 we're down to $3
<mog> and now she's bitching at me because of it
<Allahkat> Sell her for food money.
<mog> I was considering it
<Allahkat> Or just kill her and throw some sister on the barbie.
<mog> ew
<Allahkat> Sis-ke-babs
#311619
<@Wilber> Activity on gimpissues: Shortcut Ovelapping <https://gitlab.gnome.org/GNOME/gimp/issues/2183>
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: GNOME: Impossible to get infos for GNOME/gimp issue 2183: 404: 404 Not found
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last minute; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last 60 seconds; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<ankh> haha
Comment: #gimp
#58232
<jiz> * AT 827 PM CDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR WAS TRACKING A CONFIRMED TORNADO NEAR KANSAS CITY. DOPPLER RADAR SHOWED THIS TORNADO MOVING EAST AT 40 MPH.
<jiz> lol its not only coming here but its my part of here
<jiz> lol when i ping out you will know the funnel cloud hit
<sam> no
<sam> when you ping out we will know the funnel cloud hit 600 seconds ago
<sam> YOU WILL ALREADY BE DEAD
Comment: irc.buttes.org #cockes
#2538
<Bizzy> say Æ Ø Y
<DAL9000> Æ Ø Y
<DAL9000> easy to say
<DAL9000> f00
<DAL9000> ¸ß
<DAL9000> say that.
<Bizzy> ¸ß
<DAL9000> õ þ
<DAL9000> now that
<Bizzy> õ þ
<DAL9000> now say this:
<DAL9000> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е/\/\ߪ§§
<Bizzy> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е/\/\ߪ§§
<DAL9000> bahahaha
<Bizzy> what?
<Bizzy> damnit
#104063
<T_ConX> It sucks being a spelling Nazi on Facebook.
<Phoz> Why?
<T_ConX> Well, normally when you see someone pound out garbage like 'ya well thaz jyst ur opinun so yo momma!', I simply assume it's being produced by some 12 year old simian on a sugar high.
<T_ConX> However, on Facebook, every poorly writen comment is attached to a persons real name, and the School Network they belong to.
<Phoz> Oh...
<T_ConX> So as a result, I see 'Kate Smith (Harvard)' attached to the comment 'y cant u just acept jeesus in2 ur hert?'.
<Phoz> Ha!
<T_ConX> I'm not lying!
<T_ConX> I have actually seen Ivy League students with the English skills of a second grader.
<T_ConX> There is some hope however.
<Phoz> How?
<T_ConX> You know how companies are using Facebook and mySpace to do cheap background checks on job candidates.
<Phoz> Yes
<Phoz> Oh... I see...
<T_ConX> Kate Smith - Recruitment Status: Rejected
<T_ConX> Reason for rejection: Poor English skills displayed on Facebook.
#302767
<@packrat> ugh, whose great idea was it to tie piercing sizes to wire gauge standards
<+indigo> i think it's a great idea
<+Stormgren> probably because piercing posts, are, to an extent, based on metal wire?
<@packrat> sucks for stretching though
<+indigo> it makes answering questions like "how much current could the hole in my ear handle, when filled with copper?" easy
<+Stormgren> LMAO
<@packrat> hah
<+Stormgren> that depends on how fast your earlobe can dissipate heat
<+Stormgren> otherwise you have to provide a earlobe derating factor to the wire
<+indigo> i'd think an ear is a better heatsink than air
<@packrat> yeah, bloodflow can dissipate heat to the rest of the body
<+indigo> it's liquid cooled
#307328
<Xynth> Seriously, who starts their name with an X? How do you even pronounce that?
#1066
<D1> omg
<D1> christians are knocking at my door
<D1> and they're armed with the holy bible
#304713
<egreos> you know you're a nerd when you watch porn and pause it to see what textbooks the schoolgirl is carrying so you can judge her attractiveness based on her subjects.
<egreos> she was apparently studying "dictionary", so i turned it off.
<egreos> if it had been a physics book I would have been all over that shit.
#42327
<Lanmut> what is a haiku?
<Lanmut> i have heard of them before...
<Lanmut> but never seen one
#38914
<Hidatoshi> the pizza person FORGOT MY FUCKING PIZZA
<Hidatoshi> he gave me one pizza
<Hidatoshi> and I was like
<Hidatoshi> "Uh where's the other one?"
<Hidatoshi> He looked at the recent and said "Oh shit."
<Hidatoshi> "I'll be right back."
#73986
<&Cuntipede> I'm going back in time
<&Cuntipede> then I'm going to impregnate your mom
<&Cuntipede> you can call me daddy
<@ToeCutter> dad, can i have money?
<&Cuntipede> no, fuck you
#56367
<FrozenTrout> I stubbed my toe
<Thorog> (This toe is a stub. You can help #sluggysquad by expanding it!)
#302477
< Glayde|w> i remember telling a friend 'you have to register your nickname'
< Glayde|w> the next day he tells me how he registered mirc
#3403
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#17168
<Fishfood> HAHAH
<Fishfood> BT ARGUING WITH AOL
<Fishfood> ITS LIKE BLIND FIGHTING THE BLIND!
<Funk> WITH THE RETARDED COMMENTATING
#82688
Robin: goats eat their placentas
Pan Man 120: i actually could have lived without knowing that
Robin: so do some people
Pan Man 120: efuckingw
Pan Man 120: heres an idea robin
Pan Man 120: why dont we talk about kittens
Robin: cats have barbed dicks
#13481
<Floidy6k> everybody in america has an anal probe up the ass
<Mack_Salmon> not true!
<Mack_Salmon> I had mine removed!
#41218
Whitetail: My friend said his teachers used to be worried, because he was normally the happy smiling person..who would sing "Lift your head up high (And blow your brains out) by bloodhound gang, with a smile on his face and in a good mood"
Whitetail: Heh, remember in like school, when you were young, and they asked what you all had in common? "we all have two arms, we all have two legs"?
Whitetail: He said "We're all going to die"
Whitetail: He got a call home, and his mom said...so? Hes telling the truth
#46128
<stan> i was outside yesterday...
<stan> looking at the spot on my back lawn where i fucked a mormon teenage chick...
<stan> and the grass on that spot was completely dead, like god himself struck it down.
Comment: efnet #ampedout
#15437
<WarBuddha> can someone explain to me why i have another cd-rom drive all of a sudden
<WarBuddha> sigh
<WarBuddha> my computer hates me
*** Quits: WarBuddha (Quit: Connection reset by peer)
#302407
<Dustin> Me: "What can I get for you?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want a small popcorn, and don�t try to upsell me a medium!"
<Dustin> Me: "Can I interest you in a large then?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want to speak to your manager."
Comment: #chatspike on irc.chatspike.net
#20416
(El_Diablo) The centre offers a number of extra-curriclar programs for the children. These programs include:
(El_Diablo) # Dance Program
(El_Diablo) # Music and Movement Program
(El_Diablo) wtf is the difference between dancing and moving to music?
(raygun) not moving to music
(raygun) music AND movement
(raygun) music and movement = musical chairs
(raygun) music and movement = striptease
(raygun) music and movement = fight club
(raygun) etc
(El_Diablo) it's a daycare, ray.
(El_Diablo) there's no striptease. there's no fight club.
(raygun) i bet they play the shit outta musical chairs, though