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#78
<AlmtyBob> I think they should make 'Powerpuff Girls: 2012', a live action movie, where the powerpuff girls are played by mad hot chicks
<AlmtyBob> teenage chicks
#41354
<Steppenwolf> DNA = National Dyslexic Association
<Toughie> Steppenwolf, thats NDA
<Toughie> o.....rite....
#29917
<Picco|0z> {[io_sreep]} Can you explain what RAID is to me?
<halcy0n> isn't it two harddrives where one holds all the 1's and the other holds all the 0's?
#16592
<RtWh0> garlic ok you and me right here right now
* GaRlic_iv puts up his dukes
* GaRlic_iv ... wait.. i got fuckin no dukes
* RtWh0 pulls out ding dong and swings it around like a whip and cuts Garlics head off
<RtWh0> then some guy yells FATALITY
<RtWh0> in a mean vioce
<GaRlic_iv> RtWh0 pulls out ding dong
<GaRlic_iv> i hope thats not your dogs name dude
#33294
<jessie> I'm going to put on my skimpiest maternity outfit and go bar hopping.
Comment: #fark on irc.irvingnet.net
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#31494
<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
<Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen
#8443
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.
#2148
<Kazz> I will only baby talk to my kid.
<Kazz> Even when he's 40.
<JDigital> hee
<Kazz> "How's my cutest little sweet baby pie pumpkinheeeead?"
<Kazz> "Fuck off, dad."
<Lee-Ham> Issum wiggle umpkins?
* Silkenray laughs
<Kashan> I'm going to teach my kid the wrong words
#16977
<Uzzie> i'm sueing herbal essences
<Uzzie> i didn't get orgasms
#28671
<jayr```> my patience to those who are disabled like you
<rbastic_> You have the linguistic capabilities of a fetus.
#16971
<ncc386> It seems to be an oral fixation that drives me to smoke and when I quit 3 weeks ago I started eating more. If that's the case there is a healther, cleaner, more fun oral practice that could satisfy me.
#6715
<Tajador> I'm a pseudomasochist, pretend to spank me
#24627
<brad> i was hoping for a friendly windows way, but i guess i'll look at that
<brad> ...sadly
<brad> ...with puppy dog eyes
<obscurity> Do you plan to give them back to the puppy afterwards?
<brad> hell no
<blue> i spy, with my little eye.. eye pie!
<brad> he can come and take 'em from me
<brad> if he's puppy enough
#77259
leemur > vista officially sucks
ZoFreX > officially?
ZoFreX > you mean Microsoft put out a press statement saying so?
leemur > netHack dosent run on it
spb > WHAT
Comment: #freenode-social
#305
<iln> would you fuck a 15 year old.
<AlmtyBob> the question is
<AlmtyBob> would a 15 year old fuck me?
#34218
<Slime> I think in ten years time I will look back on days like this and cry.
<Slime> The times I spent at 2am talking about girls who have dicks and legs made of slugs eating each other whilst melting.
<Slime> My future wife will be all "Tell me what you did as a teenager" and I will say "NOW IS TIME FOR SLEEP"
<MechaMrEd> And then you'll notice she has an erection
#29915
* dark_gift strikes george michael pose again
<Sutekh> dg, you have a perfectly round bottom!
<Sutekh> scientists calibrate their instruments with it!
#310308
<@swight> Ikea Bags Stuffed With Skeletons Found in Sweden
<@swight> good luck putting them back together
#7244
<Grum_Trivia> shithead1 has won 50 in a row!! Total Points this WEEK: 22347 & this MONTH: 34899
<Shithead1> I am fucking tired of trivia
<Grumman> imagine that
#59559
<@kingrayray> i just vacuum sealed 1lb of tobacco into a brick
<@kingrayray> hahahaha
<@kingrayray> i want to kill someone with it
<@kingrayray> and then be like TOBACCO KILLS
#26278
<KArmA-> imagine someone sliding a cold, very long, narrow hose up your ass
<phr0work> it can't be worse than a man's finger
<phr0work> ugh
<KArmA-> um
<KArmA-> trust me
#56788
<sonorous> ______
<sonorous> < HALP >
<sonorous> ------
<sonorous> \
<sonorous> \
<sonorous> ^__^ /
<sonorous> (oo)\_______/ _________
<sonorous> (__)\ )=( ____|_ \_____
<sonorous> ||----w | \ \ \_____ |
<sonorous> || || || ||
#7030
<Adar> "If you handle an envelope and some white powder spills out, you should _____________?"
<Boog|Happy> "Sniff it?"
#33204
<Badtz> oh hell.
<Badtz> I got something japanese subtitled in spanish.
<Badtz> and the glutton I am, I'll watch it anyway.
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet