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#302675
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead
#16778
<uno> you don't see us tossing around phrases like "throbbing cock" do you?
#41868
<Pirengle> I belong to an on-campus all-female D&D group. My character, Damiar Longblade, got married to one of my hallmates characters, Sylva Atenel.
<Pirengle> Damiar kinda sorta knocked Sylva up, and then fell in love with her. He encouraged her to do things other than heal, and to enjoy life. (She's a cleric--he's a bard.) They finally get married.
<Pirengle> Sylva thinks she just got excommunicated from her church of healers. So she finally admits her love for her husband and attempts to seduce him. By taking the initiative for the first time in the relationship.
<jcompton> Huh. You find any time to go on quests and kill monsters and pick locks and stuff?
<Echon> JC: She said it is *female* group... Pay attention, please.
#25660
<tito> why can't they make longer-lasting laptop batteries? ;[
<jestuh> why can't they make longer-lasting titos?
<tito> whats that supposed to mean
<jestuh> you know
#50384
<gpstratomaster> yea, but i make 15.63 an hour and i'm not complaining...
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> I make approximately 3425 an hour, but our currency is devalued by unfair trade restrictions, and so i am really quite poor
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> my spirit, however, is indominable!
<gpstratomaster> good for you!!!
<gpstratomaster> what do you do?
<gpstratomaster> for a job
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> i work in factory for Tyco
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> i make toys for small, disobedient American children
<gpstratomaster> nice...i had a r/c car when i was little
#304300
<DayNine> Fractal alligators.
<DayNine> Like a normal alligator, but instead of arms, there are more alligators.
#74903
<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay
Comment: server: irc.ruxcon.org.au, #ozphreak
#251320
Zac2: "Scientists Find Gene That Makes You Good at Halo Also Makes You a Premature Ejaculator"
Jed_Reality: New Macbooks announced.
#9114
<D`Amour> time to gogogadgetbacktoworkasquickasfuckbeforeigetfired
#8066
<ItaLiaNStaLLioN> hey i deleted internet explorer by accident and now i need a browser asap, could some1 send me it plz
#15739
* Efudd names his new firewall box "cannabis"
<Efudd> It's a gateway box!
<Efudd> To Other Bad Networks.
#11532
<jre> God is a racist. Look in the old testament and you'll find nothing but nationalistic hatred of others.
<JesusGurl> God is not a racist. what racist would have Jews as His chosen people?
#2552
<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"
#38030
<@littlewolf> how come all babies in anime are fat and annoying?
<ReynardTodFox> because if they were thin and sexy it would be a problem?
#300964
<Decline> how do I stop being in insert mode, al?
<Sebas> Pull your pants up.
#684
<C-B0> i put a toad in the freezer... it peed then froze to the bottem...
then my mom like screamed at me for a week or 2.. it ruled
#33468
<djevan> ok i'm going to jump off a fucking bridge
<RonJo> why??
<djevan> i was reading bash a couple weeks ago and my dad comes in and asks 'what site is that' and i told him bash.cx
<djevan> well today him and i went shopping
<djevan> and we're talking, and he goes 'so have you checked out the latest additions to bash'
<RonJo> OMG that's a geeks worst nightmare dude
* RonJo hands dj the bullet
<djevan> thanks
*** Quits: djevan (Exit: killing myself ask RonJo for details)
#24735
@Kovac: Kinda, but thats because when I got hard the teacher was completely useless to ask for help
@Kovac: And then I kinda gave up after a point
@Kovac: I actually started off really well but then I guess I got over confident
Bnonn: you got hard in programming..and asked the teacher for "help"..?
#295377
<@dmd> if you watch JAWS backwards, it's a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach.
#75067
Dizzy: I went to McDonalds and got this.. Ranch BLT chicken thing...
Dizzy: Now I've got a McTummy Ache...
Dizzy: I think that should be #2 on the menu
Dizzy: cuz thats all you're doing for the hour after you eat it
#5584
<Villager> haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'?
<Alexander> i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive'
#15834
<@redium> i have never had a condom break on me ever
<@redium> maybe the gas-station generic glow in the dark ones break.. but real ones dont
<+elf> ...glow in the dark ones...?
<+elf> how can you misplace your penis so badly that you need for it to glow?
<@redium> its the entertainment factor, not the visibility factor
<+elf> i see...
#125661
<@DJ> Oh man.
<@DJ> I got so excited.
<@DJ> I saw Pokemon the First Season on sale.
<@DJ> And almost bought it.
<@DJ> Then I remembered I was 18.
#34672
<DrYvOutCM> man i know it was a terrorist act and all
<DrYvOutCM> and it was horrible
<DrYvOutCM> but ya gotta admit
<DrYvOutCM> it was pretty impressive
<DrYvOutCM> those were some huge ass buildings
<_Zippo^_> DrYvOutCM: Well done! You just now realised that "Things Blowing Up" is cool. Welcome to, well, whenever humans first invented explosives.
#42020
<ShadoweOrbe> am i supposed to conduct with my penis?
<Mister_4> you could give it a go
<MichaelD> if its a really really small orchestra
Comment: #offtopic