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#24340
<Netsniper> God.. Im only 16 what the hell would I need penis enlargment pills for..
<^sWift> Netsniper -> As you said...your only 16
<^sWift> ;)
#31803
<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars
<tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate
#34503
<TallestRed> WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH! WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!
<BlasterDRP> british toothpaste company?
#50516
<Merturk_NB> lets see how these new speakers work
<sidewinder> by vibration, just like the old ones
<Merturk_NB> work good
<sidewinder> that's nice
#35546
<mog> its kind of amusing how much of an idiot my sister is
<mog> so my mom gave my sister and I $30 to get food and what not for 5 days
<mog> so on the first night I suggest to my sister "Why don't we go to the grocery store and pick up stuff like cans of soup so we can eat those all week"
<mog> "NO I WANT MCDONALDS LETS GO TO MCDONALDS"
<mog> so now because she rather get fast food than use common fucking sense, at day 3 we're down to $3
<mog> and now she's bitching at me because of it
<Allahkat> Sell her for food money.
<mog> I was considering it
<Allahkat> Or just kill her and throw some sister on the barbie.
<mog> ew
<Allahkat> Sis-ke-babs
#6761
<Domino> what are you doing?
<Elenkis> eating and drinking and being merry
<Elenkis> well, eating and dirnking anyway
<Elenkis> dirnking
<Elenkis> ...
<Elenkis> drinking
<Elenkis> and typing too fast
#69593
<@SyRuS> err
<@SyRuS> question guys
<@SyRuS> really important question
<@Cold0ne> yes, you are gay
<@SyRuS> how to i change the "author" of a word document
<@SyRuS> i need to change it from "fuck microsoft"
<@SyRuS> when i select file in explorer it says fuck microsoft in status bar
<@Cold0ne> lollll
<@SyRuS> i applied for like 5 jobs allready
<@SyRuS> no chance ;x
<@Cold0ne> AAAAAHAHAHHA
<@Cold0ne> SELF PWNED
<Funky_> hahaha SyRuS
<@SyRuS> ;l
#40846
<Mac-arena> you know, if the cleverness of spammers could be harnessed for good, the world would be perfect within a week
<RemyDWD> With larger penises for all?
Comment: #adium on Freenode
#45450
<Ahanix> You know what girls love?
<Ahanix> (your cock is not an answer)
<EmoAddict15> small penis?
<EmoAddict15> lol
<Ahanix> i said your cock is not an answer!
Comment: iexbeta
#249424
<+hairypicklebuns> I got a piece of beacon stuck in my teeth
<&rtil> did it come with a lighthouse
#13097
<Beedub> How the fuck do I get into IRC?
<Swigh> You dumb fuck
#50186
<Bjarni> <rhyswynne> can you overclock a vibrator?
<Naksu> i doubt a vibrator has a clock
<Bjarni> I guess they are a simple DC engine, which moves some gears, which moves some weight back and forth in a specific motion
<Bjarni> it would actually not be hard to build
* Bjarni images people starting to try to build their own ones after that statement
<blathijs> only geeks can describe a vibrator using words like "DC", "gears" and "motion" :-)
<Bjarni> welcome to my world
<GeniusDex> Bjarni: is it bad that women start to speak about their vibrator speeds once i pasted your comment about the technical workings?
#294683
<+Nosleepo> polititians are using some kind of reversed alchemy...turns everything from gold, to shit
#97707
<Austin> Outlook suggests "Mozilla Firefox" be spelled "Melissa Firebox."
<Austin> Melissa Firebox is a GREAT porn star name.
<aaron> especially a red head
<pthree> definitely
#15850
<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years....
<@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked
<ownsya> lol
<@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out
#37376
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die
#304639
<Sebas> I still want to start a stoner metal band because it's so damn easy
<Sebas> The guitarist gets 40 seconds to find the next chord, the drummer has to stick to like 5bpm, the bassist just fuzzes about a bit, and you slap tons of distortion on the vocals
<al> Bach would be proud
<Sebas> Only if he were around in our day and age
<Sebas> Bach to the Future
<nwagers> for the record, that was terrible
<Sebas> One might even say it was the vinyl straw?
#31267
<kickthepc> kids seriously dont know how to spell normally any more
<kickthepc> hello neon
<Neon[UK]> hihi
<Neon[UK]> byra, kick
* Neon[UK] nods
<byra> you didn't know how to spell grammar
<kickthepc> i do, i just always spell it wrong
<kickthepc> and yes, that does make sense
<byra> which would mean you dont know how to spell it...
<kickthepc> no, let me rephrase
<kickthepc> i know how to spell grammer, its just I always hit the a key instead of the e
* byra coughs
<kickthepc> er
<Neon[UK]> rofl
<kickthepc> ffs
<Rjx> taaaaaard
<kickthepc> stupid fucking fingers
<Rjx> taaaaaaard
#13553
<Phen-Away> I just figured out what scroll lock does
<AutistiCat> What does it do?
<Phen-Away> You see that light by caps lock? Well, it turns on when you press scroll lock
#415
<gloone> thinking that noone is here since it's saturday
<gloone> so that i can kill him with a screwdriver.
<gloone> or a stapler
<gloone> that's what i have here.
#61856
<@ectweak> so
<@ectweak> I ordered a BLT
<@ectweak> and the girl behind the counter goes "do you want everything on it?"
<@ectweak> and I look at her and go "of course! I wouldn't have ordered a BLT if I didn't want bacon, lettuce, or tomato on it"
<@ectweak> and she goes "no, I mean like onions"
<@ectweak> and I stare at her for a few seconds
<@ectweak> and go "if I wanted onions, I'dve ordered a BLOT, not a BLT"
#309432
<Dacon_> you're messed up
<Huggles> how is this new information
<Dacon_> just feels like something you need to be reminded of
<Huggles> i feel through a floor and my car is full of bees
<Huggles> i dont need to be reminded
#45946
<sharpi> i got attacked by a group of seagulls on the ferry home today :(
<Bill> ha what happened
<sharpi> i was out on the deck and i noticed these kids were feeding french fries to the seagulls and thought that i'd give it a try
<sharpi> so i go buy some fries and i go out and start feeding them
<sharpi> having a good time until the seagulls that didn't get any got mad or something and started trying to swoop in for my fries so i cover them up and the next thing i know i'm getting shit on by them
<sharpi> it's hard to explain to your wife just how you could manage to come home covered in shit
#31217
<+Segosa> hahaha
<+Segosa> that was brilliant
<+Segosa> I was playing MTA
<+Segosa> and i joined a server with 2 people on already
<`> what was brilliant?
<+Segosa> both dutch, and they were talking
<+Segosa> they were planning on ganging up on me
<+Segosa> but they didnt know i spoke dutch
<`> hehehe! :D
<+Segosa> so they were talking and i always knew what they were saying so they never got you
<+Segosa> got me*+
<+Segosa> and just before i left i said:
<+Segosa> de volgende keer moet je het harder proberen (Next time you'll have to try harder)
<+Segosa> :P
<+Segosa> and they're like "WTF" "BASTARD!"
Comment: MTA is Multi Theft Auto (Mod to play GTA:VC online)
#4877
<cade> zzz, you wanna kill yourself or something?
<zZz-> cade, I've attempted so many times and failed, it's not even funny..
<zZz-> Accually, it is kinda funny.