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#302106
<Deadhope> I got fired from Wal-Mart today...
<RainbowHugz> nice. why'd you get fired ?
<Deadhope> I made a kid crap himself , he was stealing and i decided to stare at him like an angry pedophile while yelling , WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?!?!?
<Deadhope> The kid ran away crying leaving a trail of shit. Atleast i didn't have to clean that.
<2Tone> haahahahahahahahaha
<RainbowHugz> Best...reason to be fired ever.., i'm in tears right now.
#1713
<odinnn> i used to be scared i would turn into a mexican if i ate too much
mexican food
#32323
<DugDig> where do l33t h4x0rz buy their cars?
<t|to> dugdig: that's obvious
<t|to> H4x0r M070rz
#61310
< niteshad> Every so often, a van from Corporate will pull up and drop off a load of gear that's surplus, overstock and returns.
< niteshad> Can't be sold as new so they give it to the employees.
< paul> hah
< niteshad> The only caveat is that they don't want to see us selling it on ebay, etc.
< niteshad> However, giving it to friends is perfectly acceptable in Corporate's eyes.
< paul> can you give it away in exchange for sexual favors?
< niteshad> They didn't say anything explicitly forbidding that so, I assume the answer is yes.
< paul> awesome
< paul> well...
< niteshad> That said, paul, in your case, the answer is no.
#9915
<Jag> I think I'm going to print out the Kama Sutra and label it "TFM" so I can leave it laying around work.
<Jag> Not really, but it would be terribly amusing
<ender> Jag: ROFL!
* ender ponders what the lotus position has to do with X tunneling, but honestly, after reading TFM for a couple minutes, all of a sudden I don't really care about X tunneling....
<Jag> Ahh, here's the section on tunnels... oh my.....
#38689
<DarkMystery> She is only like 70
<Rufus> That's like 60 years too old
<DarkMystery> So you like 10 yr olds?
<Rufus> NO!
#36256
<esmerelda> exactly what is it 28 days later than anyway?
<Antifreez> I don't know. I always figured it was about the menstrual cycle.
#33398
Paulson McIntyre: hey, whats up?
Ohzie: Depends on what you consider down. It could be anything, depending on the point of reference.
Paulson McIntyre: ...smart ass
#23916
<CommanderStab> When I was young I thought being a chemist just meant mixing random chemicals together and seeing what happened
<CommanderStab> So I wanted to be one, so when I was young I went to the bathroom and mixed together every single thing I could find
<CommanderStab> I called it "Sparkle-shine shampoo" and tested it out on myself
<CommanderStab> I've had dandruff ever since and anti-dandruff shampoo doesn't help >__<
<CommanderStab> It didn't make my hair sparkle-shine, either ;___;
#294
<Mooglezz> IRC got me into shitloads of illegal activities, fradulent use of coupons, video piracy, audio bootlegging, and hardcore pornography
<Mooglezz> Among other things
<MoogIezz> :(
#33863
<Backslash> You ATTEMPTED to commit suicide…?
<Backslash> Wow so every breathe you take is like a living testament to the fact that you can’t do anything right…
#306012
panjohnl: Bad joke time! So Helium walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
panjohnl: Helium doesn't react.
panRJK: you know what I say to that?
panRJK: He He He
#304488
<octdave> i need to poop and eat
<octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping?
<octdave> I might try that, to save time
<officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet
<officer_falcon> take out the middle man
#140978
<Kittynoy> One day I'd need to explore the part of the room that isn't the couch...
#102424
<Maneko> what doesn't kills you only makes you stronger.
<Kojispruke> You have obviously never had a limb ripped off by a bloodthirsty shark.
#27975
<pLADASK> damit i cant spell. need to update my keyboard drivers or summin
#7889
<rabbit|hci> www.crap.com/welcome2lastweek.jpeg <- fodder :p
<Fodz> welcome to being gay <- rabit
<rabbit|hci> well, a welcome from an established member of a community always means something. :) Thanks fodder
#6909
<AaronSw> To prevent this day from getting worse, I'll just read ERROR as GOOD THING
#11701
<Lt Hawkins> someone from 127.0.0.1 keeps trying to hack me!
<Podex> You should send them a virus to destroy their computer!!!!!!
#96276
<+sarala> some girls have babies
<+sarala> i get tattoos
<@dekkon> both are a lifetime commitment
<macegr> you can't strangle your tattoo and put it in the dumpster
Comment: #geekissues
#41657
* avar was very displeased that his history techer didnt get his soviet russia joke
<avar> and have me 0.5 for the question out of 1
<avar> there was a picture of a bunch of russian women showing up for work on a field, and someone monitoring them and the question was "desribe the social circumstances of the picture", and i wrote "in soviet russia, work monitors you!"
Comment: #wikipedia@irc.freenode.net
#56160
<ddrfreak> 58 points
<ddrfreak> 7 deaths
<ddrfreak> I AM A FUCKIN MACHINE!
<yeats> You killed 7 people during sex?
#3290
(^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than me
(snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/
#28754
<kewsh> brb concluding my shower
<Drageon> you jumped out of the shower to irc?
<Drageon> dork
<loaded`> yeah wtf
<loaded`> who takes half a shower
<@Al`> dood had 'shower intermission'
<@Al`> 'i better check irc'
#38044
(StickMutilator) I was stuck in Mario for a long time.........I didn't realise you could jump