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#16264
<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"

#20145
<Fortis> I'm only going to be able to fuck the "right girl"
<Fortis> I'm like
<Fortis> a romantic about it
<Fortis> but I say "fuck"
<Fortis> I'm all
<Fortis> "Yeah well I want to be in love before I crack the bitch's gash and pound her slush hole"

#6797
<drdink> WaL-_-MarT: I used to know how to do an overhead page in your store
<WaL-_-MarT> cool, drdink..
<drdink> actually what you do
<drdink> is you take walmart's employee phone off the pole
<drdink> and go get a portable phone from the electronics department
<drdink> and plug it in to the pole
<drdink> and you can walk around the store
<drdink> and they can't catch you
<drdink> just don't leave, or its stealing

#39994
<frosty-theaussie> i just brushed the dust off my desk now its floating towards in me in a big cloud
<frosty-theaussie> i think it might be sentient

#18562
<skwerrel> i know a guy who brings his apple notebook (whatever the hell they're called) to philosophy class. if there was ever a class that you DON'T need a computer for, its philosophy
<Robowan> Maybe he brought it as proof that there is no god?

#22117
<noddy> this nekkid gurl is a cutie
<noddy> she's very nekkid now
<noddy> and playing with a carrot
<noddy> or a dildo
<noddy> not sure
<Mortarion> remind me never to eat anything you cook

#8495
[arkZZZ   ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do?
[Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec?
[arkZZZ   ] fkn? where?

#82974
<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?

#3679
*** fr33b1rth sets mode: -o fr33b1rth
<fr33b1rth> shit...
<fr33b1rth> shitfuckdamn

#18137
<MofieJoe> if that really is wabby's sister
<MofieJoe> he should think about fucking her

#118850
<andr00> go ahead and google "meet russian women"
<andr00> hit "I'm feeling lucky", since it sounds like you are!
<chronomex> are you sure?  this feels a little uncomfortable
<andr00> ok, well hit "I'm feeling uncomfortable."

#1968
<MrSede> If it could balance a beer on its head without spilling I'd give it props, but any rodent can balance a pancake on its noggin

#14500
@(F|uid) candlelight dinners suck
@(F|uid) i cant see my food

#2558
<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is

#5487
<gjvc> that is beyond ghetto
<gjvc> that is where trailers go to die

#6068
<GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.
<chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.
<chirpet> I am nice to everyone.
<chirpet> Always.
<chirpet> So shut up.
<chirpet> pigfucker.

#283996
<Krechet> don't set your alarm clock tonight
<Krechet> let god decide whether you go to school tommorow or not

#1849
<Athena-X> have you ever tried to make a ':|' face in real life? try and do it without looking stupid and/or retarded. it's quite a challenge!

#5585
<Sys> What's *really* not funny is the nasty metal-on-oh-so-sensitive-metal sound my hard drive makes when I try and access anything in the last 2 gig.... oh dear....

#70696
<triavox> dont. type. anything. teacher. looking. over. shoulder. freaking. me. out.
<triavox> ya lady i mean you
<triavox> no i wont do you the decency of turning around
<triavox> .. brb

#302091
PH: Note to car companies. Don't put "Best in class" and "In a class of it's own" in the same commercial.

#28715
<Pioneer> dual screen rox
<Pioneer> vid = TV, Mirc = second monitor, World craft = on main
<TheCommiser> what you really mean is
<TheCommiser> you can watch a different porn film on 3 screens

#31021
<Drunken_master> A brief question, please
<nomad> yes?
<nomad> I hope that was brief enough

#96138
<Yuri> parents were fighting, went into the bedroom
<Tw1lk1tr1> make up sex
<Yuri> and i'm assuming they fell asleep since this was 40 minutes ago
<Yuri> no
<Yuri> NO

#9683
<Brainded> can anyone help me with a ppp problem?
<mustang> you have a stutter and you're trying to urinate ?

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