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#295406
<smurf> Hi - I'm sure someone has told you why you accidentally got k-lined earlier today, but in case you didn't know, a bot we run went crazy and k-lined all of #furry, thinking you were a giant botnet >_<
#18711
<smg-neut> jnine7101p31@cg.yu
<smg-neut> 3 foot telescoping demon cock.......CHECK
<smg-neut> ..wtf..
<smg-neut> Other people get virii, but I'm the lucky recipient of emails about 3 foot telescoping demon cocks.
#301667
<Knoeki> My penis runs Linux.
<Knoeki> It has a high uptime, works well under load, but when load gets too high, it dumps it's core and reboots :_D
* iamalion formats Knoeki's penis and installs windows 95
<iamalion> not anymore BUHAHAHA
<Knoeki> iamalion: yeah, but now you can play more games with it ;_)
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
#25220
<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> shit
#50945
<Erika> WTF
<Erika> I JUST TOOK MY WATCH OFF...
<Erika> TO PUT IT ON MY DESK.
<Erika> EXCEPT I PUT MY SPOON ON MY DESK AND MY WATCH IN MY CUSTARD.
<Erika> FUCK
Comment: #snoopy on irc.double0.net
#4801
<Amanda> Oh yeah, a thug did his commemorative speech on "P Diddy" today
<kisama_> fuck thugs
<kisama_> thugs will amount to shit later
<kisama_> there's a bunch of thugs here taking CISCO NETWORKING CERTIFICATION courses
<kisama_> they are all "YEAH MAN I'M GONNA MAKE 80K COMING RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL MAN!"
#54878
JonathanThompson: Hey helf, if you dispose of an IP address, does it end up in a LANfill?
#42849
<aeon> As much as I love sitting at my computer for weeks at a time designing brochures, websites, logos, and maintaining a webserver..
<aeon> I might go clean my car.
<aeon> my fiance wrote " I LOVE YOU " with a grape jelly doughnut on my driver-side window and it just hasn't quite completely come off yet...
#32506
<baryon> brb. I need a shower again, I stink
<emo> baryon: remember my advice
<baryon> god you're still here
<emo> you can significantly reduce the sourness of your body odour by refraining from meat eating
<cl4SS> emo fuck up about it. I'm sick of hearing your shit
<emo> I'm just saying
<baryon> emo, that's got nothing to do with it
<emo> baryon: it does actually. Several studies have shown so
<baryon> emo. I helped move four horses today. I am covered in dirt, dust and horse shit
<baryon> I stink because FOUR DAMNED VEGETARIANS SHIT ON ME
#31493
Velociraptor: Do you have ne updog?
SAMrhodes87: What the fuck is UPDOG?
Velociraptor: nuthin much wha bout u?
#33080
<@Noggie> Michael Jackson - supports President Bush's 'leave no child behind' program
#223678
<CtrlAltDestroy> 'Sup CMK
<@CMK> ^ That direction.
<@CMK> <_<
<CtrlAltDestroy> Not if I turn my monitor
<CtrlAltDestroy> LIKE THIS!!!
#60934
<mikedep333> while I appreciate the attempt of ubuntu to be user friendly, automatically connecting to my neighbor's unencrypted wireless network is technically illegal for me
Comment: #ubuntu on freenode
#85808
<DaveLegg> police van just stopped outside for a minute lol
* DaveLegg closed utorrent
Comment: irc.kick-ban.me.uk #kick-ban
#307755
<Black_Prince> I haven't left house for 7 days now!
<Black_Prince> :D
<AdmiralA> oh great, people are bragging about not going outside like it's uptime now
<AdmiralA> $ indoors
<AdmiralA> 21:40 not seen light in 2 days, 6:39, 3 meals, kcal averages: 0.23 0.13 0.09
#27286
(@Moondo) music question..was it simon or art garfunkle that released a son about their son in the last ear?
(@Spacebarbob) that's one sick combination of typos...
#114138
[ +Drathmar ] sometimes I hate using 2 keyboards at once
[ Trekkie ] pebkac
[ +Drathmar ] pebkac?
[ Trekkie ] problem exist between keyboard and chair
[ +Drathmar ] o.0
[ +Drathmar ] what kind of problem could exist between the keyboard and chair
#65051
<FireSlash> So, at my office they're deploying a bunch of new HP Color Laser printers. These things are hot. Double sided printing, fast, etc.
<FireSlash> Now, to set them up its pretty simple... Plug it in, call some guy and have him do all the internal setup via telnet, then pop the toner in and its ready to roll.
<FireSlash> So, aparrently the guy they tasked to do this is colorblind.
<FireSlash> I'm currently going around the office and it appears that he somehow managed to defeat odds and get EVERY TONER in the wrong order.
<FireSlash> But it gets better.
<FireSlash> They're keyed so you can't do this. He forced them into each slot so it takes two people and a lot of manhandling to get them out.
<FireSlash> Aparrently someone asked him about it and he was like "Yeah, those printers are stupid. Why do you need four grey toners?"
<FireSlash> >.<
#33662
<DimaV> Anglophobia - Fear of Englishness
<DimaV> wow, some one in the world there are people scared of men with huge sideburns who shout "God save the Queen!", drink tea and play cricket.
<joe> i'd be scared if i seen one
#17946
<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a pretty tricky business
#8349
<Hito> This girl at school asked me a really wierd question today.
<Hito> "What's the best ecperience you've ever had while masturbating? Explain why. After, tell me what the worst experience you've had masturbating is, and explain why."
<Jin|Cool> I got that once as an essay question on my SAT.
<Jin|Cool> Mostly why I got a 1200.
#9478
<Gothmog> bastard, foiled by my own stupidity
<Gothmog> again
#29461
<Bifrost> tell em to suck the bucket of 1000000 cocks
<willo> it'd be mean to steal heps bucket
<kingmob> oh, she's not gonna finish all those.
<kingmob> ...is she?
<HEPZILLA> MY COCKS
#309494
<DeadStar> I have a general question that will sound kinda odd
<DeadStar> how do power buttons work on computers
...
[snip]
...
<DeadStar> Im looking in to having a rasbery pi host a web page that will turn on my big power hungry server
<SirWolfgang> it doesnt hold state, it sends a toggle signle on press
<SirWolfgang> which goes to the powersupple, normally brown wire on motherboard
<DeadStar> you think i coud just use a relay across the 2 pins of the power button
<myself> did you check the BIOS for Wake-On-LAN capability first?
<DeadStar> thats a good point
<myself> I mean, not to stop the wheel-reinvention party that surrounds any raspi project...
<DeadStar> didnt think of that
#29640
<liquex> w00t
* liquex is the happiest man alive
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> w00t
<Gnimsh> hey liqqy
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> liqqy scored
<liquex> dude
<liquex> how did you know
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lol
<liquex> were you watching my webcam?
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lmao
<Gnimsh> lmao
<liquex> seriously i wanna know how you knew