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#6967
<kate> you MALE. always wanting to talk about football instead of my menstrual cycle.
#29959
* zchrist did one of the most dumbest things this morning :D
<keter> whats that
<zchrist> I take 3 meds every morning.. one for allergies, one for my headaches, and the 3rd's just a regular ol' vitamin
<keter> and
<zchrist> so i pour me some orange juice.. pop the cap on a bottle.. take out a pill.. slam it down.. and put the cap back on.. when it hits me...
<zchrist> I just took my dogs heart medication
<keter> lol
Comment: dalnet #C
#301229
< MacForker> Arg, my family is weird.
< MacForker> They just argued with me you can't serve pork medium.
< tonyola> conventional wisdom is that pork should be thoroughly cooked
< MacForker> Sure, 20 years ago
< CuriosTiger> Conventional wisdom is that pork from 20 years ago should not be eaten :P
#360
<sphynx> crushes suck
<sphynx> i hate em
<sphynx> the dilemma, the desperation
<sphynx> the hopes dashed etc
<shirazz> the masturbation
<shirazz> hehehe
<bark> the masturbation is ok.
<Kyoto> hey.. the masturbation is good..
#8282
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> i thought you did music?
<baygledawg> oh i wish
<baygledawg> that would be my second dream job
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> what's your first? professional sperm producer?
<baygledawg> ok, writing music would be my third dream job
#20867
<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh
#42992
[@WhipSmart]: for every story you hear about a dog saving someone's life, there are probably a million where the dog just sat there and watched them die
Comment: Quakenet #funchat
#308969
<Hyptosis> Urine used to have tons of uses that are now replaced with science
#44924
<CAPS-LOCK> ARRGH
<CAPS-LOCK> As I unplugged a 4.3Gb SCSI HD, three of the power connector pins broke
<CAPS-LOCK> Equipped with only a 45-watt glass iron with a flat tip and a 3/4 used spool of silver-bearing solder I set out to reattach them
<CAPS-LOCK> After 45 minutes of burning my fingers trying to avoid knocking the damn things over with my gigantic iron, I finally managed to get them all fixed
<CAPS-LOCK> I gleefully went upstairs and attempted to reinstall the HD in its new home.
<CAPS-LOCK> but as I plugged in the power connector...
<CAPS-LOCK> ALL FOUR PINS BROKE!!!!
<CAPS-LOCK> My belly is so full of hate right now...
<overridex> CAPS-LOCK: hmm.... that's kind of like killing a weed in your lawn with a bazooka while leaving everything else in tact ;)
Comment: Woops, trimmed too much off that last one.
#29233
(RobbiePaul): i need to get a new pair of glasses, mostly because i dont have any and years of lack of girlfriend has caused me to go blind.
#30625
ethun: this is crazy
ethun: i never got a virus with Windows ME
Zaphod-B.: of course not
Zaphod-B.: viruses dont infect other viruses :P
#2495
<CompGod> If crime doesn't pay, is my job illegal?
#2360
(Matt^^^) I got an A+ in home ec, cuz I helped marinate the teacher's fish, if you know what I mean
#33076
<Hatter> I barely drink anymore :/
<J3anyus> that's good.
<J3anyus> i've cut down on my drinking a LOT
<J3anyus> ever since my last tequila incident.
<Hatter> I used to love tequila
<J3anyus> i love taking tequila shots
<J3anyus> i just hate the after effects :P
<richardgr> last time hatter was drunk
<richardgr> let me get it one sec
<Hatter> .,..
<richardgr> <Hatter> life is a poo poo im on my way!
<Hatter> yeah I remember thaT
Comment: #ramen on EFNet
#7264
<Tigrrr> I cook food in my oven.
<Tigrrr> i like food.
<edoc> I gas puppies in mine
<Tigrrr> mmmmmm puppies
#32576
<Gothic_CatGirl> Another network
<Kupo> you go to... other networks!
<Kupo> AAAH!~
<Davey_Rootbeer> you sleep with so many other networks...
<Gothic_CatGirl> I know.
<Davey_Rootbeer> *tsk, tsk*
<Davey_Rootbeer> i hope you use firewalls!
<Gothic_CatGirl> I'm such a hoe <3
<Davey_Rootbeer> Firewalls prevent CTD's.
<Gothic_CatGirl> Mmm.
<Davey_Rootbeer> Computer transmitted deseases.
#34313
* LittleWolfLS dresses in a Japanese sailor schoolgirl uniform
* Lenoh becomes all evil and tentaclerapes LittleWolfLS
<LittleWolfLS> DO NOT TENTACLE RAPE YOUR OPS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
<Lenoh> DO NOT PUT A SAILOR UNIFORM ON WITHOUT EXPECTING TO GET TENTACLE RAPED
<LittleWolfLS> damn, Lenoh's got me beat here
Comment: w00t
#6794
<shawn> refurbished is when something is defective and the manufacturer finds it to be a simple repair and then resells them to cheap bastards like myself
#13211
<PJ> Ok
<PJ> let me get this straight...
<PJ> Your pregnant wife shoved speed down your throat during sex?
<Covert22-UNS> Yup pretty much
#34214
<rhraz_w3rk> recession? pshh, i haven't seen one hobo yet!
<ESD-Wyrk> that's cause you need to go outside to see one
<ESD-Wyrk> most of them aren't 'online'
#4033
<prence> you masturbate too much if your mom has to snap your tube sock over her knee to get it in the washer
#3703
[dodgey ] wow!
[dodgey ] somthing fucken weird happened
[dodgey ] i just deleted porn :|
#181249
<delfin> I would play a lot more online multiplayer games if I didn't have to play with other people.
#310208
<kmc> yes Windows 98 installer, please perform a bad blocks scan of your virtual emulated hard drive
<kmc> you have no idea how completely I control your so-called reality
#39849
<@psych0sys> i hate those questionable farts where your not sure if your about to experience relief or a massive stream of molten shit