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#10289
<purr> nah, i'm gonna wait for him to come to me
<Sorcerer> the scene from Gladiator comes to mind
<Sorcerer> "I caught wind of a fish that waits on the bottom of the ocean for it's prey to take a nibble"
<Sorcerer> "The prey nibbles more and yet, the fish does nothing..."
<purr> Oh well, as long as I end up eaten in the end ;p
#32939
<goatasaur> what do you call a black guy flying an airplane?
<blah> i refuse to anwser that
<blah> im probably wrong
<goatasaur> a PILOT, you racist
#20606
<D{-_-}J> how do I fix my card info?
<Stally> i think you have to run command.com and enter deltree C:windows
<ChrisAcky> wait there il try that cuz my netdraft has been fucking up a bit
* ChrisAcky has quit IRC
* _Acky has joined #mtguk
<_Acky> eek
<_Acky> !!!!!
<Stally> what happened
<_Acky> stally what was that, my computer has gone into dead mode
<_Acky> i had to grab a laptop
#714
<Hatter> I know it's up for me!
<Hatter> take it etherman!~
<notgoth> if you steal my sunshine!
<Hatter> I SAID etherman
* notgoth steals etherman's sunshine :D
<EtherMan> :(
* EtherMan no sunshine
<notgoth> fine, you can have it back :D
* EtherMan sunshine!
<Hatter> Alright, now that's just gay.
#17991
<destruct> my boss just said o/~ be a man o/~
<archon> did he say it while removing his belt?
#306403
<+CoJaBo> me is bored
<+CoJaBo> Slash key: Miss it, and sound like caveman.
#28800
<gixxerca> Read Romans 1:26-32 to learn more about same sex relationships.
<DNAspark99> ummmm, no. fuck that. go out an be GAY yourself, if you REALLY want to learn more about same-sex relationships.
<gixxerca> Please spare 2 minutes of reading to learn the truth?
<DNAspark99> "truth" found in the bible?
#26422
<Fidel-> 1 kid sacrificed, in order to make 1 million gamers laugh
<Fidel-> i think its a fair trade
#29940
<DanHarris> i am very intelignt
#302185
<Stewart> One of my mates is trying to quit nicotine lozenges... by smoking
#311640
<whitequark> i used to work with a guy
<whitequark> who was working on ruby on rails website
<whitequark> in dominican republic
<whitequark> and he was doing it exclusively on a mixture of cocaine and amphetamine
<whitequark> and i had to refactor his code
<whitequark> i literally asked my coworkers to give me an ice pick and an one way ticket to dominican republic as a new year gift
<whitequark> unfortunately they refused
#53724
< wietz0r> I was standing there with a packet of writeable dvd's and this women walks up fucking points her finger at me and says "Don't do illegal things with those dvds"
#1673
<LkTrout1> enex's underwear is big enough to fit over Hatter's ego.
#294673
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words
#68399
TrogL> overnight the janitors turned off the master DO NOT TURN OFF THIS SWITCH switch
TrogL> they routinely ignore the DO NOT ENTER OR WE WILL CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF THE COUNTRY sign
TrogL> one of these nights I'm just gonna stay in the server room overnight with my favourite axe
TrogL> I want them so terrified of even LOOKING at the server room they'll emigrate first
TrogL> I'm finding less and less polite ways of saying 'WHAT PART OF STAY THE FUCK OUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND'
TrogL> apparently 'DANGER, DO NOT ENTER' doesn't cut it
#49837
<ShoeUnited> Damn this is a slow ass connection.
<ShoeUnited> You know it's bad when you have to decide between downloading 1's and 0's.
#239514
<iMaal> wtf
<iMaal> i listened half the metallica album with no sound on :D
#35813
(Biggs`) LOL omg
(Biggs`) my server just started beeping
(Biggs`) like really fast
(Biggs`) I was like "WTF?!"
(Biggs`) then I realised my laptop was resting on the keyboard
(@ddew|bofh) hehehe
(Biggs`) I thought the fucker had caught fire for a minute :/
#305714
<RAMPKORV> During the days of Yahoo IM, I added a guy randomly, then started spamming him with PENIS
<RAMPKORV> Appearantly, I did it exactly when he was doing a presentation for work
<fusion2004> gahaha
<RAMPKORV> and he replied 15 minutes later and was pretty angry
#9923
<DrTrevorkian> i'm sick of this internet. i'm gonna make my own.
#299049
<Xagor> mexico legalized drugs for personal use
<Xagor> time for them to be on the receiving end of illegal immigration =P
#7954
<wisner> I walked past a protest on Market Street yesterday evening.
<wisner> I didn't burst out laughing, but I really had to work for it.
<wisner> It was JEWISH LESBIANS FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
<wisner> There was singing.
#2438
<Amanda`> it's confirmed
<Amanda`> roommate is having sex again, right now
<Amanda`> HOLY SHIT
<Amanda`> I HEAR LIKE
<Amanda`> SUCTION NOISES
#6169
รบรบรบ KoRn^Chik/#xnet is just sad
(houlie) why are you sad Korn
(houlie) its not harvest season yet
#40905
<Angst_> Best csi:miami moment ever, suspect's name: Wayne King.
Comment: #BT efnet, maybe only the brits will understand this one ;)