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#1308
<CiXeL> america where a poor black boy can grow up to become a rich white woman
<CiXeL> michael jackson
#49729
Pixelated Empire: I wish I was as god-like as you. <<;
driftwoodRetro: :o
driftwoodRetro: Mr So-Called-Godlike spent most of today either asleep, barfing, or (in one of the strangest moments of my life) both
Pixelated Empire: o.o
Pixelated Empire: WTF?
Pixelated Empire: You sleep-barfed...?
driftwoodRetro: no comment
#3487
<]Di[ein> seriously..... imma put 2x turbos....nos....air intake...... get that pos lowered even though it is already lowered
<]Di[ein> get some 5's
<]Di[ein> (it has go cart wheels)
<Vandium> A FESTIVA
<Vandium> ROFL!
<]Di[ein> the only car in the world where u get a buy one get one free deal!
#650
<Auspex> how do i decompile a .c in windows?
#20573
<asshat> I just chipped a tooth on one of my nuts
<asshat> fuck
<asshat> brb
#50338
(placid|work) i knew a girl that was fat just because of her asthma medication
(@Rayn) what was she taking for asthma ... cheeseburgers?
#28461
CuteSkidz: stealth panda sucks
CuteSkidz: my cock
CuteSkidz: all night
TheRealBotD: But you don't feel him sucking your cock
TheRealBotD: Because he's the STEALTH panda
#1988
<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph
#30414
<AndyPunk> what is with all the publicity with people who have lost limbs in the war
<AndyPunk> wasn't the only reason we went into iraq was to dis-arm them?
#237793
JZarnecki: So I hooked up with a girl for the first time in like a year. She wasn't anything great to look at, but I'll take what I can get.
JZarnecki: Her occupation was USPS delivery.
JZarnecki: We eventually get down to business and I'm fucked up drunk and wearing a condom, but still manage to cum almost immediately because it had been so long. I pumped like 8 times it was terrible. She was pissed
JZarnecki: Anyways, the next day when i wake up shes already gone and i shit you not, there is a "Failure to Deliver" notice from her stuck on my door.
EJAYwarrior42: Give me her new number, I need to invite her to the league of internet superheroes.
#31946
<Melissa> What in the world was I thinking when I became a mother?
<JohnFlux> Melissa: "oh god, yes yes yes" ?
#3776
<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B
#30255
<Scott> I thought they were all saying "Hi, Hitler!" Makes sense, since they're waving...
#12351
*** Joins: Morrison (Me@bgm-24-95-151-178.stny.rr.com)
<Morrison> HI
<KaeFK> you are not authorized to peruse the content in this channel.
<KaeFK> you shall leave at once or be terminated
<Morrison> Sorry
<Morrison> bye
*** Parts: Morrison (Me@bgm-24-95-151-178.stny.rr.com)
#295793
<D-Myze> I was speaking to a girl the other day, who was like "have you seen 2 girls 1 cup?" I was like "uh, no, have heard of it though" she was like "it's not so bad the second time" I was like "second time ?!"
#32884
<rein_coloring> It's always good to make adults happy. You never know when one of them will feed you
#42327
<Lanmut> what is a haiku?
<Lanmut> i have heard of them before...
<Lanmut> but never seen one
#21989
<Volt3kker>whats cntrl + F do on boot ?
<RogueFoxx> initates the self destruct sequence
<scot> it does?
<scot> is that what it really does?
#4680
<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?
#33152
<prof3ta> i used to hate coffee
<prof3ta> now that i work coffee=bliss
#33235
<ogw-iii> where did I see this quote: "When all you have is a nail gun, every problem looks like a messiah."
<triple6> homedepot.com
#301528
<@Z1LCH> hmm
<@Z1LCH> I got a custard headache
<+raz> do you mean cluster headache?
<@Z1LCH> no
<@Z1LCH> I ate custard
<@Z1LCH> and now I have a headache
<@Z1LCH> custard headache
#1730
<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?
#11571
<Hell_Patrol> I wish the girl of my dreams would stop fucking haunting my dreams, I wish death upon the stupid bitch
#3581
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err .. inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse, I'll be eating it carefully monitored.