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#310028
<Natrist> what do i do already if i want my variable to be defined once and not get millions of redefiniton errors?
<jrslepak> define it only once
#513
<goh`> in my system.ini i'll change 'Shell=Explorer.exe' to 'Shell=quake2.exe'
#34788
-ChanServ- [ Important ETG IRC Global Notice From Conz ] Trojan update: also, running //unload -rs script.ini | write -c script.ini | remove script.ini | run command.com /c attrib.exe -r mirc.ini | ignore -r (tnx to all who came up with all this shit btw)
-ChanServ- [ Important ETG IRC Global Notice From Conz ] For all those who are being plagued by the word 'shit' in the previous notice, I am sorry for using the word 'shit', i will not use the word 'shit' again, or any other shitty form of the word 'shit'. Thank you
#299900
<@pyna> i read a survey of all the ways they spell khadafi
<@pyna> theres dozens
< pgp> the only thing gadaffi is good for is testing regular expressions
< pgp> M[ou]'?am+[ae]r .*([AEae]l[- ])? [GKQ]h?[aeu]+([dtz][dhz]?)+af[iy]
#2652
<+Cypherus> what is a splash-screen?
<Nagaika> when your screen falls into the bathtub
#30081
<+Bort> you'd be surprised how many kids are willing to walk 2 miles into the woods to get candy.
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet
#300788
* Now talking in #coding
<ih8censorship> so want to hear about how I got a date?
<ih8censorship> with a girl?
<Dr_BadSpoon> express it in C++
<ih8censorship> hm
<ih8censorship> class girl{
<ih8censorship> public:
<ih8censorship> void Computerbroken(){Goondatewithgeek();}
<ih8censorship> };
<ih8censorship> girl Erika;
<ih8censorship> Erika.Computerbroken();
<ih8censorship> Ih8censorship.mood("^_^");
#300611
<Robohunk> A friend of mine took an exam in his French class while on acid once. When friends asked him about it later, he said, "I think I did pretty well. I wrote this great story about a thunderstorm."
<Robohunk>
<Robohunk> The professor called him into his office soon afterwards and showed him the test. It was a piece of paper covered with the words "Noir noir noir, noir BLANC!!! noir noir noir noir noir, noir noir noir BLANC!!!" over and over.
#295281
<Blueshirt> damn it
<Blueshirt> sailor moon will have to wait
<Blueshirt> parents downstairs
#31946
<Melissa> What in the world was I thinking when I became a mother?
<JohnFlux> Melissa: "oh god, yes yes yes" ?
#33681
<BD_Hektor[movie]> how do i go about uninstalling wmp?
<Uranus> you need a priest, a cross and some holy water
#299461
<fahadsadah> Write a small Windows application, that locks up and crashes (infinite loop or something).
<fahadsadah> Wait for the error report window to come up, but before clicking send, locate the report in AppData.
<fahadsadah> Fill it with the lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up.
<fahadsadah> And that's how to rickroll Microsoft.
#304222
<@Sebas> "I like these piercings that look like clubs and spades."
<@Sebas> "Get your upper lip pierced too, then you can get the hearts and the diamonds as well and have a pokerface."
#19437
<Vic> You really think there's muscles under there?
<X> well, we can cough and breathe, so there's got to be at least SOMETHING
<Vic> I'd bet it's just a cougher and a breather.
<X> probably
<X> like a little fan or something
#6711
* Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes don't have feet!"
* GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and getting detention
#294688
<@malphas> I got stuck with the same prof for this linux course
<@malphas> as the last one
<@malphas> the same one who, halfway through the course, just stopped responding altogether so he could focus on his off-hours mailing list.
<@malphas> The first assignment:
<@malphas> Scenario:
<@malphas> The new CIO just transferred over from the finance department and during your first meeting says "My golf buddy was telling me about something called a seven layer model. Maybe we should get some of them for our network, What do you think?" You politly explain that the model is not a product and you will send a memo explaining what it is.
<@malphas> I'm *sorely* tempted to write mine from the perspective of a true Admin. Someone who realizes the opportunity presented here to obtain new hardware for future use.
#14303
HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.
#18495
<JessiA> that's weird though
<Kirke> Plus it doesn't even work that well
<JessiA> because Diabetics usually ONLY drink diet sodas
<Kirke> It makes you crave carbohydrates
<The_Vagrant> yeah
<The_Vagrant> my dad can only have diet
<The_Vagrant> but i don't think he cares about the whatever
<Kirke> Not to mention it tastes like ass
<The_Vagrant> i happen to enjoy the taste
<JessiA> hehehe true that
<Kirke> You would
<The_Vagrant> ..um i know i would
<The_Vagrant> i said it didn't I
<JessiA> Vag likes the taste of ass?
<The_Vagrant> no
<The_Vagrant> ass tastes totally different
#54799
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
#30771
<colombianp4> how can i download some hardware?
#283502
< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
< Laura> It was lost in a move.
< Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis in a jar.
< Laura> This makes me feel better.
#29938
<ck02> i found out today my favorite pair of pants is from the GAP
<ck02> i took 15 showers in a row but i still feel dirty
#34141
<Josh> wow. my great-grandmother died :(
<serenade> sry
<serenade> feel better u
<Josh> well, on one hand I'm sad that she died
<Josh> on the other hand she was a total bitch that alienated the entire family and caused untold amounts of greif
<serenade> ah
<serenade> similar situation with my great grandma
<serenade> we wanted to speed things up, so we got her to start smoking
<serenade> she used to light the cigs backwards
<serenade> funny as hell
#993
serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong
#306411
-*- StoneCypher just found out that one of his favorite and one of his least favorite pieces of software are basically made by the same guy :(
<StoneCypher> PrinceXML and Opera.
<StoneCypher> i mean seriously, it's like finding out that hitler also saved eight million people from an asteroid