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#898
<timmo> make me dumplings
<timmo> and some grit
<Fustard> grits*
<Fustard> grit would be dirt, tim
<timmo> no zach im watchin my weight i only want one grit
#17960
<Kirke> I had interests too
<Kirke> But they all ended in court
#302592
<+TakeOne> O..o I love the way you can select a date of birth that's later than april 2010.
<+TakeOne> Yes, I'm submitting an application to McDonald's before I'm born because I know how futile my life is going to be.
#52046
[@turk]: asked my boss for a raise at work
[@turk]: if (!$raise) { /quit }
#2166
<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure for two nights' worth of air attacks
#21633
<datamorph> lewsha, we generally call it a lan party because if we call it a substance abuse party we'd get in trouble
#303759
< ADINSX> where are you from thereyougo?
< thereyougo> finland
< thereyougo> when in 3rd grade we started english teacher asked what we can say in english
< thereyougo> it was all like "autobots, roll"
Comment: #cobol
#8236
<Reaver_Reload> theres over 500 retards at my college
<Reaver_Reload> its like david vs goliath, except golaith is a retard
<Folken> So you kill retards with rocks?
<Reaver_Reload> Yes.
<Reaver_Reload> Yes we do.
#30860
<wild-> a priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar
<wild-> and that's just the first guy
<wild-> hayoooooooooooooo
#33294
<jessie> I'm going to put on my skimpiest maternity outfit and go bar hopping.
Comment: #fark on irc.irvingnet.net
#1562
*** C2H5OH has joined #finalfight
<MightyQuinn> greetings, Mr. Ethanol
<Rico> Mmm... caffeine.
<Squizzle> Wow, one of you failed organic chem.
#310194
<madk> The interpreter uses an unbounded tape size, but due to technical limitations will stop being unbounded if the tape size reaches 2^63 cells.
#6308
<GRAYwolf> Because, you KNOW suburban Massachusetts is a key terrorist target.
<GRAYwolf> We've got... Uhm... A bowling alley, out in Cambridge?
<The_Freakazoid> in that case, they'll drop anthrax into your tornadoes.
<GRAY|Myth3> Because if I don't play Myth 3 to completion...then the terrorists...they've already won.
<The_Freakazoid> Yeah, I recently downloaded DW 1-4, because if I die, I want to die having played some great NES games.
#305766
Cycron | the first thing i thought of when i heard that Japan moved several feet: "their GPS is totally messed up now"
Comment: irc.ecnet.org
#37729
<Lethe> man, if Christ is real, I'm so screwed
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#12175
<TC|crapping> I AM HOMOSEXUAL AND SHOULDN'T LEAVE MY STUPID GAME LOGGED IN WHEN I GO TO THE RESTROOM.
<TC|crapping> Love, TC's wife.
#36256
<esmerelda> exactly what is it 28 days later than anyway?
<Antifreez> I don't know. I always figured it was about the menstrual cycle.
#10213
<Blaxthos> any fat bitches with inner beauty wanna chat ?
#28763
<Wilen> the leghumping of death!
<swampa|work> hey its not that bad!
<Wilen> humping someones leg is really aiming too low :P
<Wilen> reach up for ure goals man!
<Stikes> face humping?
#11604
<Podex> Hey Aboshi, I'm cooking some ramen right now
<Podex> OH SHIT STIR OCCASIONALLY
#60940
<@Rjx> i still wonder why vegetarians aren't more pissed at animals
<@Rjx> i mean your average lion eats far more meat in a day than i do
#305
<iln> would you fuck a 15 year old.
<AlmtyBob> the question is
<AlmtyBob> would a 15 year old fuck me?
#6924
<zed> I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER I LIKE TOAST AND JAM SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING AND THATS WHY I LIKE CRACK
<zed> IIIII LOVE CRACK
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY BACK
<zed> ALMOST AS MUCH AS IIIIIII LOVE EGGS
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY LEGS
<zed> BUT I DONT REALLY LOVE EGGS
<zed> WELL, I LOVE THEM, BUT IN THE WAY A MAN WOULD LOVE A FINE CUBAN CIGAR
<Nelson> zed; wtf song is that?
<zed> Nelson, IT'S EGG PROPAGANDA MUSIC
#54799
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER