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#25118
<Arcane[maid]> i stole one of those blue signs that says "phone" on it
<Arcane[maid]> what should i do with it
<suds> stick it down your pants and ask hot chics if they want to call collect.
#440
<blazemore> we know your hand gets more action jax0ring than your feet do walking
<scar`1> yeah well that's also caused by the fact that i hardly walk
#23831
<|404notfound> Kazaa is like playing Russian roulette, only with porn instead of bullets.
#35193
<JB> Friends come and go, but Nintendo is forever.
#4909
<langdon> *** Unable to resolve 255.255.255.255
<langdon> how do i get that IP?
<langdon> is that like.
<langdon> when the internet is full?
#5579
<|argh|> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly.
#1221
<Ron912> <OiOiBuNnY> one time at retard camp i stuck a wheelchair in my pussy
#56747
< din> so after i get back from the boxing matches saturday
< din> stayed at my gf's place
< din> apparently i was sleepwalking
< din> last i remember is that my gf woke me up at 4am
< din> and says "You just pissed in my floor."
< din> i'm all WTF
< din> NO FSCKIN WAY
< din> i pissed just to the right of her desk, in my sleep
< din> and flushed the printer
< din> and came back to bed
Comment: sleepflushing
#25054
<drunkers> some thief tried to break into my apt :(, so i swung an xbox controller at him and he took off
#50233
<+|404notfound> I just got a great idea
<+|404notfound> you know when you're handing a mug of a hot beverage to somebody, you either hold the handle and let them get burned grabbing the mug, or burn yourself to let them grab the handle?
<+|404notfound> somebody should make a mug with two diametrically positioned handles
<+|404notfound> it'll be fucking awesome
<+|404notfound> you'll be able to hand out hot drinks with impunity
Comment: Gamesurge: #g4b2s
#67052
<jessecrouch> any of you ever play those mmorpg sex/relationship games?
<f0rked> like, myspace?
Comment: #null
#17333
<MisterZ> You're all retards, only retards join this channel hahahaha!
#7312
<aegis> my penis fits in electrical sockets!
#310652
<e7> I'm a micromillionaire; the Illinois lottery paid me $1
#90
<matt`> It is illegal to use UNIX in conjunction with a member of the opposite sex. This could prevent copulation-2.1.3-20.i386.tar.gz from compiling correctly.
#7545
< Bayls > Sheesus. Was it this dead -before- I got here? :)
< annie > yeah
< Bayls > Hmmm, musta been. Weird, I didn't see any Star Trek marathons on tonight.
#12475
<flee> my favorite people to talk to on the phone are those
<flee> that are self-absorbed enough that all I have to do
<flee> is say "yup" and laugh at appropriate intervals.
<flee> it's only annoying when I don't know how to detach.
<flee> I should write a program that will say "yup" and
<flee> laugh for me.
<flee> of course, I can't tell anyone this.
<mrg> yup!
<mrg> hahahah
#13592
* Thirty-nothingster will kick the next person who spoils
<Pong64> Darth Vader is Luke's father. =D
#307294
M4arin: brb
Rwa: again?
Rwa: you need to start telling me what you're ditching me for, i'm bored.
Rwa: or maybe, you're not afk at all. you're probably sitting there, in front of your computer, getting annoyed by the new-message-on-steam sound as you try to focus on whatever porn you're watching and jacking off to?
M4arin: fuck you
M4arin is now Offline.
#307979
<Ymbirtt> !remind 10m pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 12m seriously pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 20m small black disk
<Ymbirtt> !remind 1h extinguish fire in kitchen
#46477
<Goat> see? Look at how cool it is. That's why i put it as my homepage.
<girl__> Goat: change your nick. "Goatse? Look at how cool it is. That's why i put it as my homepage."
*** "Goat" is now known as "Tub"
<Tub> Girl, I love thee for pointing that out. =)
#41867
<(dank)> so I was hanging at the bar last night, and I see what is possibly the ugliest man I've ever seen sitting close to me
<(dank)> and he's got his hand over his drink, looking around at everyone really suspiciously
<(dank)> I walk over and ask "what the hell are you doing?"
<(dank)> and he says: "someone might slip one o' those date rape drugs into my drink"
#9355
<BTox> wow... oi can see the reflection of my fingers on the monitor..
so i can watch myself type and it looks really weird. "how do i do that?!"
<ShaneBe> it really is amazing
<ShaneBe> to see peop;e ty[e
#242631
<will_smith> gay people shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> you shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as anyone else
<will_smith> no really think about it
<will_smith> if gay men are able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> it would turn them straight?
<will_smith> i should be able to use the same bathroom as women
<Merihell{CD}> and turn them gay?
#8982
<Fern> dag. some guy in NY hit 19 people with a buick regal. I wonder if there's some sort of bonus round for that.