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#9185
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
#56328
<CarbonCpy> I used to have Raggedy Anne & Andy on tape. It's not gay for me to admit that, is it?
<Og|Oggilby> no
<Og|Oggilby> I used to have it
<egg> 2 gays don't make a straight
Comment: #gbs-tv
#9438
<phiber> advice: dont call a girl ugly when you have your manhood in her mouth ;/
#23205
<jeev> i hope you get hit by an uninsured mexican driving an ice cream truck with la bamba playing in the background
#15790
<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.
#35940
<atoi> ouch...when zippers attack...
<atoi> zippers and balls have been natural enemies since the inception of storing the latter behind the former.
#10979
<Dryzzid{SAS}> OOOOOW
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I just sat on my nuts :(
* Jaedra stares at Dryzz
<Jaedra> dude...
<Dryzzid{SAS}> What? I sat down the wrong way..
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I crushed one :(
#299423
<@jpn> "Most UK radio stations are now having to censor the word 'sex' in the line 'birthday sex' replacing 'sex' with the word 'ssh' making it say 'birthday ssh'. This change has occured quite recently as orignally radio stations were free to play the uncensored version."
<@WorstQEvr> do you get birthday ssh when you turn port 22
#16858
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo
#309108
<~derpcat> iirc some reports from chernobyl said people tasted metal when there was radiation
<@Alias> Chernobyl was a graphite cooled reactor.
<@Alias> So that's easy to explain away
<~derpcat> well, it does go with the idea of communism
<~derpcat> this radiation belongs to all of us in equal measure
#72
<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds
#38139
<Whitetail> Dont buy your birth control items and pet supplies at the same time, or you will get funny looks
#310978
<!spaghetti> What's that thing deaf people have
< FrobtheBuilder> peace and quiet?
#8494
<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all. so i jumped out the window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off
<hakan> yipes
<rafeil> yeh
<helminthes> and that's how it all started
<helminthes> how was your day
#33060
* penut has joined #unbound
* ChanServ sets mode: +o penut
<Recon> wb penut
* Mayseth licks penut
* Dweller refrains from calling mayseth a nutlicker
<Recon> LOL
<Mayseth> I!
<Mayseth> HATE!
<Mayseth> YOU!
#15435
<Setups> is it a forest fire?
<Setups> I CAN SEE THE SMOKE FROM MY HOUSE
<SneakyPete> wtf going on setups? what state?
<Setups> its in alberta
<Setups> canada
<Raider|FIRE> must be forest fire
<travelyan> they have fire in canada?
<Setups> fuck you
<Setups> eh
#16040
<Josho> i HATE
<Josho> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<Josho> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY
#42655
<Geoff> I caught my son downloading a file called 'hot redhead takes it up the ass and loves it'
<Geoff> I was appalled
<Geoff> She was blonde and was giving hand jobs :(
#32198
RyanIsL33T: HAHAAH
RyanIsL33T: HALF TIME SHOW
RyanIsL33T: JANET JACKSONS BOOB FELL OUT
SpAz0Licious: WHAT
SpAz0Licious: BULLSHIT
SpAz0Licious: WHEN
RyanIsL33T: AT THE END OF THE SHOW
SpAz0Licious: DID YOU GET A PIC?
RyanIsL33T: NO
SpAz0Licious: DAMNIT
SpAz0Licious: its gonna be all over the net in like 10 minutes anyway
RyanIsL33T: yeah
10 minutes later:
SpAz0Licious: http://66.98.142.98/~volume/janet/JANETSBOOB.jpg
SpAz0Licious: HAHAHA
SpAz0Licious: I TOLD YOU 10 MINUTES
RyanIsL33T: ROFL
#36334
<Rjx> perl code is incredibly hard to read
<Moot> Rjx: only if its written well
#57641
<NiteHawk> My mom just caught me masturbating.. Dammit...
<Mikkel> Ah well, everyone does it man. Shit happens
<NiteHawk> Yeah but while I was about to blow the dog ran in, I was trying to push the dog out of the room when my mom walked in.
<NiteHawk> Lets just say its not a good site one hand on the dog, the other holding a kleenix full of jizz, and my pants half down.
<NiteHawk> The look on her face dood, she was mortified.
<Mikkel> >.<
#14355
<Shelstra> :((
<Shelstra> my poor fishie
<|KazzA|> :o what happened
<Shelstra> nothing but...
<Shelstra> one of his eyes is black
<Shelstra> i think he might be blind :(
<|KazzA|> aww
<Shelstra> we only just noticed it
<Mousey> like it cares anyway
<Mousey> theres not much to see
<staticx> every three seconds it will say 'holyfuck, i can only see out of one eye...'
#956
(jesdynf) If you could do it, though, you could hire kids to pedal bikes if your uptime meant that much to you... though watt for watt, you'd be better off having them steal car batteries.
#312
<Tux> gimme a P, gimme an A, gimme a N, gimme an I, gimme a T, gimme an E, gimme an S! Whats that spell?
<Tux> PANTIES!
<Tux> er
<Tux> not really
<Tux> but it was close!
#20749
xenophile: been awhile since i've done a mailman
xenophile: DO NOT PUT THAT ON BASH>ORG!!@@!!@