Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#14738
<tortoise> what should i name my turtles?
<archon> name one kurt, and one courtney, and blow one's head off with a shotgun
#182512
<Orochi> Well dude, think about it, it beats sticking your dick in the air and being all like "LOOOK AAAT MAAAH JUUUUNK" or something
<Orochi> oh shit wrong window
Orochi acks
<Cirabeau> >.< Xd
<Roxas> lmfao
<Kazuma> XD
<Cirabeau> roflmao
<Orochi> omg I'm closing this shit D:
Orochi [Orochi@Nightstar-5017.hlrn.qwest.net] has quit IRC: Quit: bb tomorrow D
#22719
marty> So, what happened, did you date her? What was she like...
deathcubek> Let me put it this way. She was like an RPG.
marty> I dont get it.
deathcubek> Well... she was long, expensive, and full of monsters.
#15684
<kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer pookie.. "Oh come
on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats it... "
#49668
ballplaya4537: holy shit dude
ballplaya4537: so my brother and i smoked up last night
ballplaya4537: and he was so high that he left all the weed on the kitchen table
ballplaya4537: and my dad found that, his bong, and his two bowls
cdawzrd: hahahahahaha
cdawzrd: sucks for him
ballplaya4537: no no no no, not that best part
ballplaya4537: so my dad knocks on his door(which is right across from mine)
ballplaya4537: and i hear if you ever do that again, you are out of the house and were not sending you to college
ballplaya4537: and then
ballplaya4537: about thirty seconds after:
ballplaya4537: AlexC2907: dad just gave it back
ballplaya4537: AlexC2907: do u wanna smoke tonight
Comment: on AIM
#19478
* Straylight hate hate HATES Verizon ads
<+Straylight> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
<+Straylight> FUCK YOU THEN
#54006
Schkirpow: So the other day at the grocery store, I got a fantastic idea
Enervine: What was that?
Schkirpow: Well, I got a huge shopping cart full of stuff I needed
Schkirpow: Then hid the cart behind some of those cardboard stand things
Schkirpow: And then took 10 items at a time to the 10 item express lane
Schkirpow: And I got them bagged, put them in another hidden shopping cart
Schkirpow: Then kept going until I had paid for everything
Schkirpow: The cashier got pissed, though, and she asked me why I kept coming back to the express lane instead of going to a normal line
Enervine: hahaha, what did you say?
Schkirpow: Because I was 'in a rush'
#19994
<yakk> oh fuck
<yakk> I just realised that the "faith based missile defense" wasn't a joke
#60470
<Ina> got a problem with that file stuff
<Alex> what?
<Ina> yeah, always tells me that the files are too large
<Alex> well, send them separately or compress them
<Ina> but I've already pushed them closer to each other
<Alex> pushed them closer??
<Ina> yeah, on the screen, you know
<Alex> ???
<Ina> those symbols, you know, I've put them closer to each other, now they take up less room
<Alex> you've... pushed together... the images... the symbols...?
<Ina> YEAH! Now they need less space, don't they?
<Alex> ...*bangs head on table*
#156
<||CHAOS||> they just jumped into bed when i showed them how i added a speaker to my ti-83
#3410
<ben> on sep 11th dalnet issued a statement offering condolences and saying how they were non-politicial
<ben> and you almost believe them until you see it was issued by Melech which is the hebrew word for king
<ben> i.e. israeli contacts, etc
<ben> NON POLITICAL MY ARSEY
<grifferz> wow, and like, the way bahamut is the name of a dragon, maybe all these names have real meaning and dalnet staff are really hyperdiemnsional dragon warriors from the planet Oper!!
<grifferz> fucking scary eh
<ben> yes
<grifferz> or, they could be just nicknames. I DO NOT KNOW
#53550
<OrchidOfCruelty> I wonder if women have a problem carrying their iPod shuffle around on their waist or keychain. It kind of looks like a tampon
#308135
sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
<TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders...
#2452
<|Z|e|N|> A nick name is like a wife. You get bored with it but cant really change it, and if anyone else nicks it then theyre dead
#35201
<Rjx> A wise man once told me that my main flaw was that I cared too much about other people's feelings
<Rjx> ironically, I told him to fuck off
Comment: #emulation64
#56231
<+Wulf> Last night I was at a concert that really sucked, and the only time I clapped was when the guy said "give yourself a warm round of applause"
#62458
<CellularZipper> im gonna 3-way with jessica and maegan tonight
<Soul> take some pictures of them for me
<CellularZipper> ....
<CellularZipper> how do you take pictures over the phone?
#303089
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/
#143212
<AllAgesDave> There are two seniors in here reading a copy of A Catcher in the Rye, and debating the meaning of the word "illiterate."
<AllAgesDave> One is saying it means "literature" and the other says it means "insane".
<Dre> :-[
<AllAgesDave> They just decided upon "language." Fuck my generation.
#43490
<Calum> going to bed at 4am, then getting woken by traffic at 8am is unpleasant
<Calum> *grumbles about his head being sore*
<Alice> How about going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 5 to go to work?
<Calum> that's also unpleasant
<Alice> It is what I am about to do
<Calum> i've gone to bed at 5 and gotten up at 6 for work before
<@ALC> but its effectively 2 am :p
<+MStar> or drinking heavily and waking up the next morning wearing nothing but kitty ears in some stranger guy's bed?
<Calum> wtf?
<Alice> o.O
<@ALC> ...
<+MStar> i mean.. finish school project at 4 and need to wake up at 7.
<Calum> oh yeah, that's unpleasant.
#6534
<SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention president stirred interfaith tumult when he described Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed pedophile."
#7454
<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable
#7955
<weezyl> I figured I'd just fellate my students for the protein.
#16527
<CraNKGod> YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN
<Funk> Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for a sock on your erect penis?
<CraNKGod> BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
<Funk> Oh.
<Funk> Man, you need a better imagination.
#8671
<DigDug> i'm so tired of reformatting quotes :/
<c-rOCK> THEN DONT
<c-rOCK> KILL THAT QDB
<c-rOCK> LIKE YOU WERE ABRAHAM
<c-rOCK> AND THAT SHIT IS YOUR SON