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#2718
<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan are gifs and jpgs
#41108
<WeirdHat> so I went to the LOTR thing at the museum of science
<WeirdHat> when we were in the line to get in
<WeirdHat> there was a guy at the front with a microphone to tell us all the rules, no cameras allowed and things like that, blah blah blah
<WeirdHat> when he started, the volume on the microphone was set too loud
<WeirdHat> so he joked "THIS IS GOD" and then fixed the volume and went on with the telling us stuff
<WeirdHat> and when he was done
<WeirdHat> a little girl behind me said
<WeirdHat> "was that REALLY god?"
#8578
<cheesecake> differential equations sedate me.
<kg> strange... i usually get turned on by differential equations..
#28757
<mef> stupid roommate.. unplugged the router
<xcp> was there a fistfight
<mef> almost
#6432
<PI^2> my first puter was c-64
<PI^2> I had many nasty games on c-64 :D
<PI^2> like 'fast masturbation' and such :)
<PI^2> that game was soo weird :D
<PI^2> though it had good graphics for a c-64 game :)
#5272
<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid
#29665
<danamania> my mother has picked up some anti MS sentiment from somewhere. we were driving today, and a fellow wandered out into the crossing. looked really confused, big glasses, a bit geeky, didn;t seem to know where he was going
<danamania> so she was like
<danamania> "look it's bill gates. should I run him over?"
#16655
<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.
#34173
<Rykan> you know your lonely when your alone in a room with chanserv and just start talking to it XD
<Ras> Chanserv is a better conversationalist than any of my exxes
<Ras> and half the people on my base
<Ras> and im not kidding.
Comment: #MxO stratics
#305331
<@swight> I walked by someone's office a few minutes ago
<@swight> her name was
<@swight> Anita Doody
<@swight> sounds like a kid asking to go to the bathroom
<@swight> I saw it, said it twice in my head, and barely made it out to the hall before cracking up
<@swight> I'm such a child :)
<@Rjx> hahah
<@Rjx> I'm keeping that one to use as a fake name
Comment: #geekissues@efnet
#50738
<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
<seelet> wtf
<HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking weed, and fucking chicks
<seelet> :(
#38306
< zYpurv> omg
< zYpurv> now i know what i am going to do with this property i'm gonna inherit
< zYpurv> a female-only apartment house for students
< zYpurv> of course
< Marax> with hidden cams
< zYpurv> and a 'private' pool on the roof
< Marax> and machineguns
< zYpurv> and a robot
< Marax> in case their really big boyfriends finds the cams
< zYpurv> nah i'll make the robot a sex toy and then they won't want boyfreinds anymore
Comment: Ahh, geek dreams....
#305703
<%SxS> heh, this is why I tell my students to never use Wikipedia as a source
<%SxS> I have in front of me a paper that starts with "The internet was invented in 1976 by Al Gore".
#49452
<Goose> if you could only renice a person's inner crazy
<deblin> lol
<deblin> dude it's a woman, impossible =O
<Goose> lol
<Goose> single tasking system
<Yock> deblin: is there an entry in pf.conf for the cross country move? Maybe you can lower its priority too
<Yock> nice -19 `pidof wife`
<shray> bahaha
#33650
<r0ach_> yup, but fucking racoond generates a fucked up spd policy, which basically locks up the box and allows only ipsec traffic to cisco and back :)
<r0ach_> will try iskampd
<pantherqs> uh, all i got from that statement is something about beastiality and skank's
#92673
<Sanguini> I'm pretty sure I didn't just piss on my dog
<Sanguini> Seriously, I just took her out, waited for her to piss, pissed in another direction, and she WALKED AROUND IN FRONT OF ME underneath my urine spray, but I didn't hear it stop hitting the ground, and she feels dry
<Sanguini> Idiot dog
#39681
<utopian> I can see something like this in #jesus
<utopian> RTFB
<utopian> Read The Fucking Bible
Comment: #geekissues acronym game
#20304
<b1u3> boy youd think after all the years of internet porn you'd know how to tie a girl up like they do in those hentai bondage movies
#141217
<AgentRenegade> you know you spend too much time on your computer when you watch a clip of a website on the news, and instead of looking at the website itself, you focus on the fact that the station uses Firefox..
#302724
<Polynomial> Ikea: The WinRAR of the furniture world.
#223711
<Taran_Wanderer> You can look up what they're going to name hurricanes
<YP> I wish they'd bring hurricane mewtwo back :[
<The_984> Hurricanes should be named after Pokemon
<DonutKnight> In other news, Hurricane Magikarp has decimated New Orleans
<DonutKnight> More at 11
<The_984> Magikarp used SPLASH
<The_984> It was super effective
#21042
<jbroome> i will be assilimated
<YanceySlide> Or something.
<jbroome> spelled correctly
<YanceySlide> Being assilimated sounds like something that happens in prison.
<jbroome> that would be assmutilated
<YanceySlide> Point.
#31766
We had the schools first HP laser printer installed in the PC lab for less than 24 hours when we received the only the first complaint on it. One of the users came down to tell us that the laser printer wasn't printing and had eaten his report. We tried to explain to him that the printer can't eat your report, and he said, yes it truly had and that there was smoke coming from the printer along with strange grinding noises. Upon investigation we discovered that he had taken his 5 1/4" floppy and had somehow crammed it into the envelope feed and hit printscreen, whereupon it promptly fused into a mess. The printer had less than 50 total pages through it.
#37081
<Sebbe> When I was 19 I somehow wound up dating a 23-year-old (which was awesome at the time). She had a one-year-old daughter, but the fact that I was nailing an older woman 4 or 5 times a week overshadowed any problems I had with dating someone with a kid.
<Sebbe> One night we were going at it pretty heavy when her daughter discovered how to get over the baby gate. We never heard her sneak down the hall and into the bedroom. We also never heard her go into her mothers nightstand and pull out an 8 inch red rubber dildo. I look over and see this girl standing there with smile on her face and the dildo raised high over her head. Realizing what was about to happen I started to say something, but it was too late...
<Sebbe> *THWACK*
<Sebbe> She brought it down hard on my face, me barely comprehending what the hell was going on. I managed to get it away from her and her mother took her back to her room, but the mood was long dead. The relationship didn't last too long after that
#19539
Eldoran : Umm lets see, it was recess during 4th grade and I was reading Return of the King, I think it was at the breaching of the gate.. but thats beside the point
Eldoran : Then a quasi friend in my class approaches me, and tries to "call me out"...
Eldoran : and I'm ignoring him... so he snatches my book from me and throws it on the ground.
CptAwesome : So you stabbed him
Eldoran : Hes standing square to me, with his fists up, and I step foward snap kick him in the crotch, then follow thru on the motion bringing my other legs knee up to his decending chin
CptAwesome : then you stabbed him?
Eldoran : No :{
CptAwesome : so, when the hell did you stab him?
Eldoran : I never did!
CptAwesome : Then how was this a fight?