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#12080
<@charlie_x> i have a command line program on my pc called dont.com
<@charlie_x> if you type dont format c:\
<@charlie_x> it says
<@charlie_x> "ok i wont"

#28748
<azmo> !fact
<stackman> Random Fact: MICHAEL JACKSON WAS BLACK

#47186
‹@Cougar› i g2g ttyl boys and girls
...
‹@Thar|gone› i hate it if people say bye and dont leave nor change nicks... it feels like someone in person says bye and then just continues standing there, or goes to sit down in front of you to read a book.. its awkard
‹@chapel› I hate it when people change their nick to say they are gone, but are still around chatting
*** Thar|gone changed nick to Thargore
‹@Thargore› ohhh, touché

#2718
<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan are gifs and jpgs

#32629
<bleak> oh god
<bleak> my girlfriend has either the worst or ebst timing ever
<somniloquy> just caught you whacking off?
<somniloquy> and offered to lend a hand?
<bleak> somniloquy: well, no, I was, and she called me JUST as I finished.

#9372
<treph> I have my computer
<treph> and
<treph> no job.
<treph> > i
<treph> You are carrying:
<treph> a computer
<treph> no job

#69154
<Apofisu> Allow me to sing 100 bottles of beer on the wall
<Apofisu> *ahem*
<Apofisu> x = 100;
<Apofisu> while(x > 0) {
<Apofisu> printf("%d bottles of beer on the wall. \n %d bottles of beer. \n Take one down, pass it around. \n %d bottles of beer on the wall.", x, x, x-1);
<Apofisu> x--;
<Apofisu> }
* Apofisu bows

#311632
<Danika> hmph, Twitter thought one of my tweets was considered "suicidal" or something
<StriderHLC> The hellsite strikes again
<Danika> yeah I said something like "I wish my parents never had me"
<StriderHLC> "We suspect you may be suicidal. We are locking your account to remove you from your support network as a courtesy."

#36173
<kpt> any Java coders in the house? I have a question about recursion
<danamania> kpt: ask kpt when she gets back in

#292
<skunko> dammit
<skunko> how do you get past the metallica ban on napster
<AlmtyBob> not liking crap music is a start

#3582
<duk0r> Don't forget kids, the faster you download the bigger your penis is.

#4158
* cococutie does the deaf hottie victory dance :)
<Rhelik> cococutie: deaf hottie?  why deaf?
<estranger> Rhelik: mainly cus she can't hear  =)

#939
<|Chris> yeah weather bug is bloatware and has a lame gui with banner ads
<Guilty> It's the AOL of weather reporting
<|Chris> actually guilty, i think aol has it's own weather reporting
<|Chris> aol time warner can probably make their own fucking weather
<|Chris> bastards

#6360
<Skream> Anyone got an IDE controller I can borrow?
<Skream> Mine just caught fire.

#71440
<A_SN> lol wtf, from the english "Earth" article on Wikipedia
<A_SN> "It is the largest planet in the world."
Comment: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Earth&oldid=85281232

#50574
EternalFootman: 25g of wafers and 20mL of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of Jesus. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
LittleBunny32: if you assume that the material properties of GOD possess an infinite enthalpy, and obviously that of mortal materials are finite, then the transubstantiation process requires an infinite amount of energy and will freeze the entire universe. Alternately, if we assume they can be transmuted from the infinite creative capabilities (and energy) of GOD, then by combusting them we can receive an infinite amount of free energy and the catholic church is holding out on us

#58083
<Pryon> Why, when I type <ctrl>-d, does dbx say "use `exit'"?
<Pryon> Why not just exit, you stupid-ass program?
<kjdavies> Pryon: ^D is 'End of File' in UNIX
<kjdavies> in many shell-type programs (including FTP, psql, and SQL*Plus, in UNIX), ^D will end the session
<Pryon> kjdavies: Yes, I wanted to end the session.   If dbx knows this, why does it tell me to do something else?  It's just st00pid
<Pryon> It's like dbx wants you to use a safe word, and assumes you're just enjoying the pain when you say "stop now"

#305903
<bucketmouse> you heard about her birthday right
<stef> no
<bucketmouse> he didn't mention it at all so she asked a mutual friend of theirs
<bucketmouse> the dude tipped her of that he was talking about throwing her a portal themed birthday party
<bucketmouse> so she gets overly excited/hopeful thinking it's going to be romantic or something
<stef> portal isn't romantic though
<bucketmouse> so on the day of she wakes up, he's at work, she walks into the kitchen
<stef> this is going to be terrible isnt it
<bucketmouse> on the counter there's a cheap dollar-store helium balloon, a joint, and a box of debbie crocker cake mix
<bucketmouse> and a scrap of paper reading: 'u will be baked then there will be cake'
Comment: she dumped him over this

#4745
<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes

#92169
<Vergo> man...
<Vergo> back in the old days... we had smarter idiots...

#10737
<kas> did you getta message from Mike last night?
<kas> he msged you on aim
<SDMF> he msged me?
<kas> i put in big bold letters
<kas> JOHN ITS MIKE LETS CYBER NOW
<kas> and yur roommate answered
<kas> and was like who's this
<kas> and ize like
<kas> Johns cyber boyfriend, Mike
<kas> is he there?
<kas> i wanna cyber sooo bad
<kas> yur roommate blocked me or signed off

#16523
<WoHo> jacob I have the highest grades in english in mah class :[
<WoHo> my only prob is that I facken write in class like I write on irc
<WoHo> my teachers comes up to me and asks
<Nold> rofl
<WoHo> wats ppl ?
<WoHo> wats r ?
<Nold> lol
<WoHo> wats mah ?
<WoHo> dude
<Nold> lolu
<WoHo> its bad :[

#32455
<Bad_CRC> I went to the hospital today, and it's called "olmstead medical group" so the whole place had "OMG  OMG OMG" all over it.

#295930
<Kaichu1> NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Kaichu1> OH MY GOD
<Kaichu1> I just realized something
<Kaichu1> I e-mailed one of my teachers about missing a class last week and how to make up the test
<Kaichu1> He sent back a message of what to do
<Kaichu1> And then ended with kind of a harsh warning about my grades and how it would affect me passing the course
<Kaichu1> He ended the message with jk
<Kaichu1> I just realized that JK are his initials
<Kaichu1> GODDAMMIT
<Kaichu1> I'm so screwed
<Kaichu1> brb, speeding over to the school

#4248
<Dark_un> monitors so dark
<Dark_un> cant watch rush hour 2
<Dark_un> can barely see chris tucker

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