Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#52938
< psysick> why do fat ppl get hired as security guards
< psysick> are they considered more attentive to television screens?
#9092
<Cassius> erm
<Cassius> why does the gurl in final fantasy look so much more real than the others?
<JtHMx> so you can fap over her
<bleetz> cause then she'll make little boys more aroused.
<bleetz> and they'll buy the game
<bleetz> or.. much better put.. by jt..
* JtHMx bows
#38322
<@ill_fill> jesus christ was a gangsta rapper
<@ill_fill> they killed him once and then he came back and make a platinum album
#4450
<Alien> I believe our girls' softball team had something about them never being loose or something on their shirts ... they misspelled lose with HILARIOUS RESULTS.
#303376
(@who-ha) Random story time, okay.
(@who-ha) I'm like, 10 years old
(@who-ha) I just got my first bottle of cologne, right
(@who-ha) so I'm playing around with it
(@who-ha) sprayed it everywhere
(@who-ha) so I put some in a cup
(@who-ha) and stick my dick in it.
(@who-ha) I cried myself to sleep.
(@Sanitized) ........
(@who-ha) I'm dead serious.
#24884
[Kristina] some geek on slashdot insulted me because I commented that geeks only like to do fun programming not boring stuff...he insulted me then told me I should do boring stuff to give something back to the OSS community...and he did it all under the name "anonymous coward"...got, slashdotters are so...lame
[josiejaz] and you're one of them....
#299
<Guilty> Dont you know, if theres a hot white chick on a show, she invariably ends up with the "sweet, but rugged" black thug
<Guilty> It's an FCC regulation
#31363
<Roadie> i wonder how come i eat an eat.. sit around all day
<Roadie> never gain weight
<Quiky> Because the scale won't go up any higher.
Comment: weight
#4428
<happy> the neat thing about java is that it's so slow
#43872
<@kf`ill> I went with a girl to a bar once, she had one boob bigger then the other, there was a breast contest to see who's was the biggest, she took 1st and third place
Comment: #script @ irc.gamesurge.net
#28844
<nasna> i'm a day a head of you all, 9/11 happened on the 10th here
#308469
<hagbard> i3Guest88: the pin9 that on the webpage is marked "NC" what are you doing with that pin?
<i3Guest88> just to ground
<myself> aha
<myself> when a bit gets shifted off the edge of the '595, it falls out pin 9
<myself> if you're pushing zeroes out there, the chip is trying to drive pin 9 to ground, which is already its state, and everything is copascetic
<myself> but as soon as you shift a 1 off the edge of the register, it tries to drive pin 9 high, but it's grounded, so it shorts your power supply
<myself> when a pin is labeled NC, that means you only connect it if you're in North Carolina
<myself> and since we're in Michigan, we use that as a no-connect pin, meaning leave it floating
#295827
<paul> my mom was suspected of child abuse by my pediatrician as a kid
<paul> she swore up and down i wasn't being abused
<paul> the doctor was sceptical
<paul> they went out into the waiting room where I was
<paul> mom was like "paul, come here!"
<paul> I get up, look at her instead of where I was going, and run full tilt into a pole
<paul> doctor's like "sorry maam, you had to see this from my position"
#29443
<MrBeanTroll> ah, San Francisco Personal Ads
<Ocean-Saurian> What aobut 'em?
<MrBeanTroll> you will never find a more retched hive of scum and villiany
<MrBeanTroll> I must be careful
<MrBeanTroll> "I'm looking for a cute strong guy with a truck to help me move a couch from Dolores Park to Oakland some time this week during the evening. I'll buy you dinner afterwards. Picture required."
#33398
Paulson McIntyre: hey, whats up?
Ohzie: Depends on what you consider down. It could be anything, depending on the point of reference.
Paulson McIntyre: ...smart ass
#296866
<Pryoidain> I just spazzed on some poor telemarketer, and then orchestrated it to my advantage
<Pryoidain> I picked up my cell phone
<Pryoidain> he said something about vacuumes
<Pryoidain> and I just made this series of loud noises
<Pryoidain> then held the phone away from my face, and yelled in my normal voice
<Pryoidain> "JESUS HE'S GOT THE PHONE!"
<Pryoidain> then dropped it and fumbled it a few times
<Pryoidain> then picked it up, and very calmly said
<Pryoidain> "Nathanial Private Mental Services, How may I help you?"
<Pryoidain> I heard a click, and that's the last I think I'll ever hear from them
#11146
<spoob> drewb; it's been so long since I've had my cock sucked that I'm not sure it can handle less than one atmosphere anymore
#60133
<Sam> But why is it 69 and not 96?
<Sam> Oh wait...
<Tim> :/ Thats a weird fetish and I don't want to know what it is :(
#308834
Nevermind: About shitty code
Nevermind: There is an hierarchy - WidgetBase - GuiWidget - Rectangle
Nevermind: What do you call a programmer who adds a scroll event handler to Rectangle class, which changes value of a field added to WidgetBase, which is later used in GuiWidget as a text argument to a low leve render code
Nevermind: All this just to make a scrolling text show up over Rectabgle in a single place?
MaxEd: You don't call him anything, he should not hear you coming
#39145
(@Wabz) Is it wrong to download Warez and then ask for help from the programs support forums?
#8820
<OhioJoe> Steempy, you mentioend an automatic swich box.. I have a chrome box that has a switch on it too, with coax connecters on eitehr side, with a switch on it.. that is a manual switch box?
<God-Zilla> nah, thats a prostate stimulator
<neogeoMAN> I have one of those wired to my tinfoil hat.
<neogeoMAN> I can switch the aliens on or off.
#5900
<madvirii> you gotta wake up with a certain "attitude" to face the day and lick some asshole
<CoMBo> yeah or grow up eating some really shitty cooking to acquire a taste for anus
<madvirii> yes anus would be an acquired taste
<madvirii> not something you instinctively put to your mouth
#31893
<HiddenGenius> dude, my microwave just cooked a frozen hot pocket in like 40 seconds
<HiddenGenius> my mom is freaking out, she made us take the microwave outside and now she's making us get tested for cancer
<HiddenGenius> I can't stop laughing
#9905
<latexslut> i bet u are thinking of ur hard rod being teased my this wet slut don't u?
<Godrod> No. I am thinking of filing a restraining order against you to protect my dick from your H.I.V. shit.
#31738
<mod> someone was telling me the other day
<mod> and i cant remembe where
<mod> that he wa checking baggage in at the airport
<mod> and his suitcase was REALLY packed full
<mod> and as he hands the bag to the guy at the counter he says "be careful, it might explode"
<mod> it was an awkward moment
<dano> ROFL
<mod> this was like a week ago too
<mod> oranger alert and all