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#34129
--> MrPoush (~matt@dsl.76.171.networkiowa.com) has joined #jibble
<Monty> But what does MrPoush have to do with the price of fish?
<MrPoush> everything, Monty
<Monty> *horrified*
Comment: Monty is a phrase-bot.
#12322
<Josh> hey Lan
<Josh> i just would like to say
<Josh> that if world war iii comes tomorrow
<Josh> i loved you most of all
<@Lan> i would like to say
<@Lan> if ww iii comes tomorrow
<@Lan> i loved orange soda more than any of you
#28890
<PRoWoRK> i like my vagina!
<[Piratez]> o.o
<PRoWoRK> ...sorry...
<[Piratez]> pro, this is the part where u type 'wrong chan'
#11098
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175
#31763
<Rumpelteazer> have you ever drunk hand cream
<Rumpelteazer> I don't feel at all well
<Rumpelteazer> the original bottle broke, and all I had handy was my old coffee cup.
<Rumpelteazer> the bottle broke when I tripped over an old ps2 controller my husband had attatched to my computer for unknown reasons
<Rumpelteazer> and I returned to my desk with a big cup of coffee.
<Rumpelteazer> and I mixed the two cups up.
#4835
<JeyK> 7) I wanted to see if my penis would fit through the CD. It did, but the firemen and rescue squad had to break the CD to free me.
#409
<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
#295912
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired. One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines. Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it. Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone. Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games. There's something in there called "Purring Kitten". It makes the phone vibrate continuously. Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now...
#45024
•›› Topic: [[klined]] changes topic to [FLEA at MIT June 19 | I love teh mirc | trojans and viruses and spyware, oh my | weak passwords lead to cookie dough icecream]
[@nmx] cookie dough ice cream?!
• @nmx changes his password to nmx
#5501
<maff> word to your mother.
<maff> especially on mothers day.
#3244
*** rmah (rmah@24-168-58-10.nyc.rr.com) has joined #javascript
<rmah> greetings fellow humans
<JibberJim> Isn't that an unwarranted assumption rmah?
<rmah> no assumptions...I do not greet non-humans
<JibberJim> fair point.
#70284
<MSCaptain> man Im feeling stupid
<MSCaptain> what are the five senses again?
<MSCaptain> touch, taste, sound sight and what
<JDigital> spidey
<MSCaptain> yes thanks JD
#32943
[WorkDeed] bahahaha
[WorkDeed] I just heard someone say "I measured the thermal conductivity of one of my loogies and..."
[KArmA-] isn't Berkley cool?
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#86063
* custardpringle was talking about how she regularly sleeps in the art building thursday nights because she works late thursdays and has art hw due first thing fridays
<Eiko> what do you sleep on?
<custardpringle> there is a lounge. with couches.
<custardpringle> I try not to think too hard about them.
* Eiko spent a week of freshman year in college sleepingin the Physical Therapy lab after doing something horrible.
<Eiko> so I know that feeling
<Ellie> Uh oh?
<Eiko> well, my freshman roommate was, uh, very amorous...
<Eiko> ...and I stopped enjoying having to find somewhere else to sleep other than my own bed on weekends...
<Eiko> ...an I was staff on the campus radio station...
<Eiko> so yeah, to save my life I slept in the PT lab for a week until my roommate stopped wanting to kill me for broadcasting twenty minutes of fucking.
<Eiko> I note it was not a live broadcast.
<Eiko> I taped it and played it on the air.
#138095
<Ace_NoOne> I now believe that the Wikipedia folk assassinate people so they can be the first to report their deaths
#8716
<relapse> what distribution are you running
<aur__> windows
#36920
(Nick): Remember that one time, when Razer put his name as `, and I didn't know it was him? lol
(Razer): Nick
(Razer): That was yesterday..
(Syntax[Sleep]{BTW_usuq}): Hahahaha
(Nick): ummm..
(Nick): <_<
(Nick): >_>
(Deranged): Stop smoking crack
#301385
<Emperor_Nick> I have Star Wars theme and classic Monopoly. I like building houses on the Death Star, because I imagine Darth Vader cutting the grass on the surface of the huge laser's dish.
<Emperor_Nick> A little picket fence, some roses...
<Emperor_Nick> You could really spruce the place up.
<Emperor_Nick> Turn that Death Star into a Dream Star.
<Emperor_Nick> Him and Emperor Palpatine in a civil union, adopting a wookie orphan.
<Emperor_Nick> The Jedi protesting their corruption of the sacred union between a man, a woman and The Force...
* Emperor_Nick has disturbed daydreams
#309955
<grifferz> bitcointalk full of marks who one month ago were all "yeah deconstruct the state! to the moon! fuck the bankers!" then today they are "omg I put my son's education fund on mtgox, who do I sue?"
#57433
<moira_> I am currently installing japtalk support on lap-top
<moira_> so I can write "can I tuch ur boobs" in japa-nese
<pamplmoose> jokes on you the only japanese speakers who have boobs are white men
#8832
mike > What do they send you if you send those penis enlargement companies some money?
mike > "No pill, no pumps. Simple exercises you can do at home.". I have a feeling I am probably already doing whatever it is.
#56197
<Rusty> have you ever really thought about when people call themselves a bad motherfucker?
<Rusty> i mean wtf
<Rusty> "fear me! for not only do i engage in sex acts with a parent, but i suck at it!"
#104063
<T_ConX> It sucks being a spelling Nazi on Facebook.
<Phoz> Why?
<T_ConX> Well, normally when you see someone pound out garbage like 'ya well thaz jyst ur opinun so yo momma!', I simply assume it's being produced by some 12 year old simian on a sugar high.
<T_ConX> However, on Facebook, every poorly writen comment is attached to a persons real name, and the School Network they belong to.
<Phoz> Oh...
<T_ConX> So as a result, I see 'Kate Smith (Harvard)' attached to the comment 'y cant u just acept jeesus in2 ur hert?'.
<Phoz> Ha!
<T_ConX> I'm not lying!
<T_ConX> I have actually seen Ivy League students with the English skills of a second grader.
<T_ConX> There is some hope however.
<Phoz> How?
<T_ConX> You know how companies are using Facebook and mySpace to do cheap background checks on job candidates.
<Phoz> Yes
<Phoz> Oh... I see...
<T_ConX> Kate Smith - Recruitment Status: Rejected
<T_ConX> Reason for rejection: Poor English skills displayed on Facebook.
#71165
<Yahovah> bsmntbombdood: I have a new nickname for you. Captain Oblivious.
<bsmntbombdood> I don't get it
<Yahovah> Exactly.
#1183
(notME) i have a 6 week old kitten
(notME) and my 2 year old cat raped him
(notME) shoved his feline penis in his bum
(notME) i watched it
(notME) i wasn't going to spank him
(notME) d00d no
(notME) i turned around
(notME) and he's balls are smacking my kitten in the ass
(notME) i didn't want to spank him
(notME) cuz it'd only get him off faster