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#28481
ShatteredArcadia: but sodomy is JAIL TIME!
WeWereSchizo: No, Jail time is sodomy.
#36327
<timmo> people are crazy these days
<timmo> back in my day when someone fired you
<timmo> you went home and beat your kids
<timmo> and drank gin
<timmo> now people are shooting up their workplaces and shit
<timmo> i need to get a job so i can fire people
<timmo> YOURE FUCKING FIRED
<timmo> its like a real life +b
<timmo> id make that shit fun too
<timmo> "come in here bill, i want you to take a look at something"
<timmo> and on a white board id have hang man with
<timmo> _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
<timmo> and have him work it out
<timmo> "you are fired?"
<timmo> "thats correct bill. clean out your desk and be out of the building by 5, kthx"
#28641
<MariTrunk> i wish everything was like a one click procedure
<MariTrunk> you know
<MariTrunk> i want to go to sleep
<MariTrunk> but i have to format
<MariTrunk> i wish i can give a command and then everything is dun by morning
<MariTrunk> all updates
<MariTrunk> drivers
<MariTrunk> all apps installed
<MariTrunk> just one command
<[Piratez]> its called ghosting
#22078
<ElDuderino> I heard having sex with women made you gay
<Shai-Gar> is that why youve never tried it mark?
#24194
<+DarkCraft> yeah well evil don't win many popularity contests...
* +DarkCraft knows this.
<@FlowerChild> DarkCraft you are in no way evil
<+DarkCraft> I am in the sense that I choose to opt out of the whole good/evil axis in favour of more empiricist ideas.. ;)
<@FlowerChild> blah you still fall asleep cuddling soft toys
#1604
<Prence> then my mom will know i have sex with the coach
<Prence> i meant to say couch
#7418
<[KoG]^Deeshay> I'll beat you when I get a modem that isnt controlled by a rat in a wheel
#32920
(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer
#8526
<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used
#24337
<DarkForceRising> cmon pmab i need ur best anecdotes n jokes
<pmab> knock knock
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<DarkForceRising> whos there pmab u fgt
<DarkForceRising> !pmab
<DarkForceRising> pmab
<DarkForceRising> oi pmab
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<pmab> whos where?
* DarkForceRising is now known as dfr^ihatepmab
#9232
<blaky> be back, gotta clean a fan
<chomp> did shit hit it?
#10695
<@Nfs> what good is all the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
<@BLiNGO> umm
<@BLiNGO> you dont need fame to fuck models
<@Nfs> but its gettin hot in herre, so take off all your clothes..
<@BLiNGO> i am gettin so hot, i will take my clothes off
* @BLiNGO sets mode: -clothes BLiNGO
#194565
<protospork> I just clicked on a random image link in a conversation about cocks
<protospork> man that was smart
#27214
<banuaba> nick, do you think a baby could eat another baby?
<nick> if it was hungry enough, sure
<nick> why?
<banuaba> dunno
<banuaba> just trying to plan my day
#5990
<zer0man> i wish someone told me that having a girlfriend was going to be difficult
<zer0man> or if they told me that, I wish i listened
#36443
(Deranged): I was watching this thing on the discovery channel about the mating rituals of whales. Did you know that the male whale shoots out 400 gallons of sperm during an ejaculation? But only 250 gallons of that actually go inside the female. So that means, 150 gallons of sperm just float around in the ocean everytime a whale blows his load. Kinda makes you wonder if that's what makes the water so salty....
(Mayseth): I've drank sea water by mistake you know. I don't need to know this now!
(Deranged): HAHAHAHA
——> (Deranged) has quit IRC (Kill by Mayseth (I hate you.)).
#54036
<+lax> i feel like an asshole
<+lax> at lunch we couldnt decide if this person was a girl or boy
<+lax> i said it was a girl
<+lax> and so we all chipped in a dollar
<+lax> and someone went over and asked
<+lax> and she started crying
#80965
<Eidolon> one time
<Eidolon> someone asked me
<Eidolon> if you traveled back in time
<Eidolon> and masturbated your past self
<Eidolon> is that gay?
<PizzaBoy> now the question is, if you COULD go back in time, would you masturbate yourself? >_>
<PizzaBoy> and the BEST answer to that would be 'Only if my future self already did it to me'
#1345
<Orm-Riva> I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
<Illandir> ...
<Orm-Riva> Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you.
#9117
<Mikado`> 128's were down to 70 1.5 months ago
<JohnnyBra> 1.5 months???
<JohnnyBra> when the hell did we start talking in decimals!
<mankindJB> 2.3 minutes ago
#16631
<jonathans> this fettucine is so thick i thought for a second i was eating noodles and semen
<jonathans> its not very salty, though
#45978
Salixa: I used to have to skin dead mice and chop them up to feed to owls
Salixa: brb looney tunes time
Salixa: :-)
Olego: You have a vile sense of humour.
#6894
AtomicInternet: I'm going to download GTA3 and Warcraft III when it comes out and distribute them to everyone.
mavstring: that is wrong.
AtomicInternet: yes, it is. A single tear rolled down my cheek.
#43524
*JU5T1CE* says helpful hint #471 - The highest concentration of pickpockets is always your nearest Star Trek Convention as it is a well known fact that 85% of Star Trek fans use 1701 as their ATM pin.
#43492
(@ddew|bofh) heh, I really need to get out more. I just ogt annoyed that a truck was revving it's engine outside so I went out to check what was going on. Turns out that the apartment next to mine was on fire and the truck I heard was one of 3 fireengines :)