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#7304
<@Tezz[a]> My Daddy got a paper shredder for Father's Day
<@Tezz[a]> Guess what's happening to all my school notes? >:D
<@Giess> We got ours a barbecue.
#5484
<cain> YOU COULD NOT GET PLAY IF YOU WALKED INTO A WHOREHOUSE WITH YOUR DICK SANDWICHED BETWEEN A AMEX AND A PLATINUM VISA
#5421
* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar
#138027
Ganon: That magnet in the finger idea sounded really awesome, minus the idea of getting some sort of poisoning from the rare-earth metals
Gayo: oh oh dude
Gayo: What if you were a woman and you had MAGNETIC BREAST IMPLANTS.
Katt: I guess that would make you really attractive
Ganon: ...
#102125
<Ylle> I need a good Ps2 game
<Deathwind> ummmmmmmmm
<lifning> disgaea
<Ylle> that's been released recently
<Ylle> that's not a grindfest
<Ylle> and has good 2p fun
<Ylle> ooooh and no fighting games¨
<lifning> this is the part where you get a different console
#216681
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it.
#14627
*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)
#16766
<Grim13> Mariah Carey's cleavage got nominated for "Worst onscreen couple"
#8844
<marius_#acknak> Prosecutors, quoted by the Associated Press and Reuters, also said the man was carrying a CD-ROM in his baggage that contained a training programme for fighters wanting to wage "holy war."
<marius_#acknak> I wonder if this training program is based on the quake engine.
#29554
(@Kenni) LOL DRA
(@Kenni) ffs
(@Kenni) you just made me fart in front of my girl
(@Kenni) I was laughing so hard, I couldnt keep it in
(@Kenni) and I was standing crouched on the floor
(@Kenni) and now she got all mad
(@Kenni) and told me I am gross
(@Kenni) :(
(@Kenni) Now she also said no sex
#46463
<Henyman>*Now talking in #Harry-Potter
<Henmyan> Having never read the books, who is this Snape, and why does he kill Dumbledor?
#31336
<everwicked> bleeeehhh
<everwicked> I just got this pr0n and it get so fucking gay
<everwicked> there's two chicks, one with strap on
<everwicked> they fuck each other
<everwicked> then a guy pops in and fucks the one with the strap on
* Parts: Geeck
<everwicked> and then she goes "it's my turn now"
<everwicked> ewww
<everwicked> I even scared Geeck off
<wildboar> so she strap-ons the dude?
<everwicked> yah man
<everwicked> disgusting
<wildboar> shoulda just left it with the 2 chix
<everwicked> YES!
<everwicked> definitely
<everwicked> im scared to watch the rest now
<wildboar> yeah watch the doorbell ring and there's a huge german shepard there
<wildboar> and the chick is all omgyes now its ur turn!!
<everwicked> ^_^
#3246
<Ophidian> why does being a programmer mean 13 hours a day and no social life? i dont understand
#57733
<FlaVouR> BTW Jewel == a South African Buddy of mine
<pinin> i figured you two knew each other since you are the only ones in the country with internet
<FlaVouR> pinin dont make me set my lion on you
Comment: #geekissues
#1766
<BlackDeth> and why does my calculator smell like weed? :)
<EtherMan> BlackDeth: that explains it: your calculator is obviously high
#60563
(discussing previous workplace)
47: my boss used to work for them. he hates the place
47: so we have something in common
Bubbles: haha
47: i liked the hot chicks though
Bubbles: well you have to steal all their business and take their hot bitches
47: yeah man
47: i'll be the Viking of computer repair
47: ME 47! ME REMOVE MALWARE! ME DIAGNOSE MEMORY FAULT! GIVE ME YOUR BITCHES! *club*
#2150
* Derek_ thinks costa ricans are wierd
<matts> I think people who spell weird "wierd" are weird
#2570
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#4427
<Euri> I am not going to scan a ferret.
#66025
<xevious> hey did you guys hear that they are recalling all of steve irwins sunscreen line?
<Rofflecop> WHY?
<xevious> apparently it doesnt protect against deadly rays
Comment: #lsg [efnet]
#543
<MojoBag> [DaemoN_] She kicked my dog, and now i am going to FUCK her.
* freeweed kix Daemon's dog
* DaemoN_ fucks her
<smcn> fucks who? your dog?
#7477
* terra begins dousing people in gasoline
<hngkong> Terra, why kill us?
<terra> Shush
<terra> it's perfume
#66161
Metalcore: see, the lack of emotion i could ALMOST deal with.
Metalcore: if you know, she would ever talk to me.
Metalcore: it's like squeezing water from a rock.
Metalcore: but not just any rock.
Metalcore: like, a rock that exists in a universe that lacks the hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
#19386
<Kr1sten> I lost my virginity last night
<[zT]Lunchie> Oh shit! Get it back! You have to find!!!
<[zT]Lunchie> I'll look in the car, you look by the sofa.
<Kr1sten> You are such an ass.
#68018
<Rod> i wonder if that little RC plane with the camera on it could fly into some open windows and then drive around on the floor looking up ladies skirts
<Chris> too noisy
<Rod> all you need is a deaf girl and an open window
<Rod> and a questionable set of moral principles
<Chris> that's how lots of Rod's stories start
<Rod> most of them come from "101 Things To Do With A Deaf Girl, An Open Window, And A Questionable Set Of Moral Principles" by Noam Chomsky
<John> One of his lesser-known works.
<Rod> i dont want to spoil the book, but 99 of the 101 things are "Rape her."
<Rod> 101 is the plane and video camera thing
<Rod> you dont want to know about 100. it makes 1-99 look like ballroom fucking dancing