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#16971
<ncc386> It seems to be an oral fixation that drives me to smoke and when I quit 3 weeks ago I started eating more. If that's the case there is a healther, cleaner, more fun oral practice that could satisfy me.
#3448
<timmo> you know what makes me laugh
<timmo> web cam chicks
<timmo> who try to lick their own nipples
<timmo> but fall short
#9920
<James> buy a Pentium 4 so you can reboot faster man.
#50430
<Nazrat> So is Chad completely gone now?
<AB> No. There's still a slight stain.
#7782
<faustwork> she looks good
<chaommm> is she hot?
<faustwork> id bang her
<chaommm> that doesnt mean shit
<faustwork> id bang her with no beer
<chaommm> WOAH
#2802
<[_pitch_]> florida is shaped like a big droopy dick for a reason...
#307229
<Haschel> Hmm. Wolfram Alpha can't calculate the dietary fiber in half the mass of the moon in Triscuits.
#9639
<tigerbot_hesh> "Knuckles of Fury" on amazon? heh heh
<MikeyPain> I actually got mine in the mail from him
<MikeyPain> some of the pages were stuck together though
#17023
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know
#7216
<eod> echo "\$cd pub" >t-shirt
<eod> echo "\$more beer" >>t-shirt
<eod> heh
<weis> cat t-shirt | sed s/beer/whiskey/ >better_t-shirt
#1259
<Spike-Man> #myass is pretty cool.
<Spike-Man> Who wants to come in #myass?
#10925
<meiscoole:#pc> my ethernet card isn't lighting up and displaying physical
connection. Any one have any idea why?
<munky:#pc> broke ethernet cable
<meiscoole:#pc> what is an ethernet cable?
#1289
<Wazm> I spent the entire day being normal, now that I'm home, I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners to my head, turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.
#295402
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck
#26210
* Spike states that his wifey is having contractions about 15 min apart. so I need some fathers day presents.
<Pseudonym> You should be at the hospital instead of on IRC ¬¬
<Spike> well, we are waiting to go to the hospital till we get contractions 5 min apart
<Pseudonym> Ah
<Pseudonym> Sounds painful
<Pseudonym> <spike> QUICK LET ME TELL IRC ABOUT IT%@%#$^@#$#
* schmiddy` thinks of Spike and adds a new entry to "You might be an IRC addict if.
#16858
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo
#79876
<forestcre> girls don't have colons or farts or poos
<winry> of course they dont
<winry> we never do that
<forestcre> that's why girls are full of shit
Comment: ...got me a kickban.
#27597
<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.
#29637
<Auri> Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, those are the best brands.
<iganokage> we only have durex from those 3
<[TFCC]Captain_W0nder> I'll send you an unopened package of Lifestyles iga.
<iganokage> lol
<iganokage> no seriously, im fine :)
<iganokage> "hey sunny, capt sent me condoms from texas, wanna try em out?"
<iganokage> "O_O"
<[TFCC]Captain_W0nder> that'll work
<[TFCC]Captain_W0nder> just think of me when you're doing it\
* [TFCC]Captain_W0nder runs
#310758
<BadSpoon> I keep thinking... if I were the guy who actually used all the lifehacks he found online, I'd be the most annoying guy in the world
#283998
work : I've been playing linegae2 for 5 years
3610 : I've been working for 5 years, I have a house and two cars
#30279
<Mike> i hate mondays
<Mike> so much stress
<Mike> and no matter how early I start, I am ALWAYS still workign on it at the last minute
<Mike> I need a beer
<@Galadriel> man you sound like me
<@Galadriel> lol
<Mike> I need a cigarette
<@Galadriel> relax
<Mike> I need sex
<@Galadriel> :x
<Mike> especially that last one
* @Galadriel hides
#6802
<YyzKnicks> what is anal sex anyway, when you think about it too much and get neurotic? Ohh, you mean butt sex
#295905
<Mario> Shooter: I eat pieces of *cake* like you for breakfast.
<Mario> Happy: You eat pieces of *cake* for breakfast?
<Mario> Shooter: ...no.
<Mario> god I hate censorship
#13583
<SinclairC> Anyone been to Taco Bell lately?
<Piccolo> No. I hate mexican. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Mexican, it's Taco Bell
<Piccolo> No. I hate Taco Bell. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Taco Bell, it's hamburgers
<Piccolo> No. I hate Hamburgers. :] Cheeseburgers are a different matter.
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't hamburgers, it's Dragonball Z
<Piccolo> Damm you