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#1354
<Brentai> I have Q3, but I like playing it about as much as I like trying to suck my own wang.
<Brentai> i.e. it's painful and futile, but once and a while I try to do it just to prove that I can. And I can't.
#2539
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#209693
<shidobu> oh god, I feel like I'm in elementary school
<shidobu> the building management just informed us that there's going to be a firedrill on friday morning
<shidobu> and in exchange for our cooperation, there will be icecream waiting outside the building
<rumblerob> if all your coworkers have perfect attendance do they get a pizza party?
<shidobu> I can only hope
#15
<emufreak> I HATE CHANNEL TOPICS
<emufreak> WHY MUST THEY EXIST
<emufreak> AND WHY DO I STILL CLICK THEM WHEN THEY END IN .JPG
#34231
<medium> crrj, i complained to my help desk last night at my class about not being able to use linux on their network
<medium> and i got yelled at for installing linux, they said "it corrupts laptop hard drives, it fills it with useless data"
<medium> lol
<GyPSY> lol
<medium> AND it kept booting to linux
<medium> and he said he couldn't boot from a floppy
<medium> because i had a bootloader installed (lilo)
<medium> even though in stark contrast on the boot menu, one of the options clearly says "floppy"
<GyPSY> haha
<+crrj-working> Sounds like you need a new school.
<medium> I agree
<medium> i am disappointed w/ the one i am at
* +crrj-working hands medium a clue-by-four and a clue-bat for applying LARTs with both hands.
Comment: Sometimes 'help desks' means the people working it need help.
#310983
<luper> we forced this one guy with a long-ass beard to wear a beard net because his beard DID get caught in a server rack
#28312
<daenonok> i remember this one time, like two years ago my girlfriend (at the time) was trying to learn me...somethen, i wasn't really paying attention, but she said
<daenonok> 'if barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours'
<daenonok> after like a minute of thinking i was like 'that seems like icing on the cake'
#305776
* Jorfs (Jorfs@9BEA575.2F81F144.8DE8CFAD.IP) has joined #britfa.gs
<Jorfs> Shit how do i chat up this hot redhead?
<music> okc?
<Jorfs> Nah im at a bar
<music> so let me get this straight
<music> you're at a bar
<music> and you're trying to chat a girl up
<music> but you don't know what to do, so you come on irc?
<Jorfs> Yes
<Jorfs> Why are they all laughing at me now?
<music> hahah
#54372
< zid`> the faster you go the slower time is
< zid`> you lose like 20 ns flying supersonic to america
< zid`> something like that
<+WhiteWolf> 20ns!??!
< syc> no you don't.
< syc> you lose 4 hours on the tarmac.
< syc> 2 hours in security.
#118914
<@jonathan|roh> do you ever accidentally type more than 1 character
<@jonathan|roh> like type "helloo world"
<@jonathan|roh> I do
<LoX`> sometimes
<@jonathan|roh> and I feel guilty when I delete the extra character
<LoX`> I tend to spell "tomorrow" wrong
<LoX`> lol
<@jonathan|roh> it's like I brought that character to life
<@jonathan|roh> and now, I'm deleting it
<LoX`> oh wow
<LoX`> That's definitely something you don't hear everyday
<@jonathan|roh> I feel even more guilty if I delete the first occurance rather than the accidental occurance
<LoX`> You feel guilty over deleting characters?
<@jonathan|roh> you don't?
<@jonathan|roh> what kind of heartless beast are you?
#55144
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!"
#31528
<Cazor> i know a girl who thinks a guy doing his own laundry is a turn on. thats... hrmm...
<Cazor> and she freaks out when i go to my laundry
<GreenJeanz> wtf haha
<Cazor> like, an orgasmic freak out
<Ruthven> sounds good
<Jovan> Cazor: Sounds like an opportunity... :D
<Jovan> Just kidding.
<Cazor> ehhh... nope.
<Ruthven> ¬_¬
<Jovan> That's kinda funny though.
<Cazor> you'd laugh if i told you who it was, though.
<kak> Its ok Cazor, we know its your mom.
#4411
<Pantaloons> IT IS AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A CONUNDRUM WRAPPED IN A WARM FLOUR TORTILLA WITH GUACAMOLE AND SOUR CREAM.
#17907
<George> : Walmart is selling Linux boxes now.
<George> : Onward and upward.
<George> : Once you get them in the Walmart's, Cosco's, and K-Mart's, world domination is near.
<3hreeD> : yeah george but there's only so much you can do with those linux boxes
<George> : Yeah, like run the net.
#3589
e l i t e m r p: you think you're so smart cause you go to "school"
#8368
* Valvados pulls out a random Indiana joke
<Valvados> HEY
<Valvados> Why doesn't Kentucky slide into Tennessee?
<Valvados> BECAUSE INDIANA SUCKS
#4062
<DigDug> <nowakow> does anyone want to teach a horny female to masturbate to orgasm?
<DigDug> Approve Kill Nothing
<josho> kill;
<jestuh> kill
<jestuh> if she's horny she knows what to do
#42127
< lysol> this one girl I'm friends with in irc left me this comment "his bad-boy reputation as a slashdot troll combined with incredible compassion towards cute fuzzy animals would probably set off some maternal urge to propagate his genes in me if i had such a thing but instead i just want to blow him until i cry semen"
#299757
AstralFire> I am horrified and amused. On the other side of the highway by my house, there is a horse farm. Waiting on the light to change, I realized I was behind a small sedan with a horse-themed license plate that reads "PWNIES."
#307308
Thurmond: I only know one Russian word
Thurmond: and it's the word for hedgehog
JBIC: I KNOW THREE WORDS
JBIC: Nyet
JBIC: Da
JBIC: Vodka
#20471
<Ccmods> for what I'm creating, I'll need a length of duct tape, an avacado, and a tube sock.
<Ccmods> believe it or not, u can make a bong outta that
<Sean> i thought it was some sort of wanking implement
#3079
<DAL9000> being alone sucks... i want to stab someone in the eye, but alas, noone is there.
#2338
* snag giggles
<eldee> for a fat guy you giggle alot
<eldee> or are you misspelling jiggle?
#120329
<||bass> omg
<||bass> best pictonary game ever
<||bass> I was playing with lenina
<||bass> first she chokes herself and pretends to die
<||bass> then
<||bass> she gives me a handjob and points at my dick
<||bass> you know what i was supposed to guess?
<||bass> "Die Hard"
Comment: #nobodysworld on deltaanime
#35093
<takkaria> so, anyway, yeah. who wants an argument about something? I'm bored
<Scoth> takkaria: You're wrong