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#25124
<maddox> You know what I hate? Programs that pretend like they're sentient beings. Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type "bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let you do that." Yeah? Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.
#309283
<&mike> Sim City doesn't count students/homeless as people
<&Seem> Sim City sounds increasingly more realistic everything you hear about it
#20509
<+psychoace> damn fucking netsplits
<+psychoace> when will mirc solve this problem
#31751
<benapp> well Pnther instlled without hitch
<benapp> except Softwre updte keeps killing my '' key
<benapp> I'll let you guess which key I men
<benapp> since I cn't exctly type one
<benapp> oky now THAT is fucked up: I cn type A CAPTIAL A just fine
<benapp> but not A lowercAse one
<benapp> so now I cAn look like one of those dipshits WiTH tHE rAnDOm cAPiTAlizATioN
<benapp> OkAy, Ben is VERY confused
<benapp> my A key works FINE when AuthenticAting to wAke up from sleep
<benapp> BUT
<benapp> it won't work Anywhere else
<benapp> AnywAy, I cAn see you're not there...lAter!
#6754
<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today
<Wed> The screen
#523
jaylane0910: oh gross
e l i t e m r p: ?
jaylane0910: my cmoputer science teacher corrupted the word g-string for me
e l i t e m r p: heh
jaylane0910: she said she was writing her own string lib
jaylane0910: her name is Gioviana or something
jaylane0910: and she caled it GString
jaylane0910: and shes ugly
jaylane0910: and damn
#301278
<DaynaGirl> I had an app once... it adjusted your volume to full in all regards... then screamed out into the darkness "Hey!!! Look at me!!! I'm watching PORN over here!!!"
<DaynaGirl> then it kindly returned everything back to normal settings.
<reiser> hahaha DaynaGirl
<zarko> DaynaGirl: i believe i saw such a web site
<zarko> it opened dozens of windows, filled with gay porn, and played that msg repetitively
<zarko> well, it said "GAY porn"
<DaynaGirl> I thought it was so funny... I renamed it "DaynaNude.Exe" and kept a copy on the desktop.
<DaynaGirl> one night at about 2am... I'm awoken to the app playing...
<DaynaGirl> I rush out to my puter to find my mother turning forty shades of purple...
#14674
<Normandy> I told my sis to go to hotmail to set up her own email account, and she went to www.hotmale.com and now she thinks I'm gay ;(
#35774
<Fonzy2> i remmebr the days when there weraonly aorund 5 people in teh IRC channels
<Timwi> I remember the days when "teh" wasn't a word
#6400
<cygnus> speech recognition is only for people who don't jerk off enough to build up wrist strength and then get fucked up from using their keyboards
#17260
<Hoju> I'm not going to stalk you or anything.
<BioHazard> yeah right mr stalky mcstalker
<Hoju> rofl
<BioHazard> if that is your real name
#14668
toAzron1:Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
#29846
<blitzHOME> YOU ALSO CAN'T EAT BUNG WITHOUT GETTING POTTY MOUTH
<blitzHOME> HA HA HA I JUST MADE THAT UP
<blitzHOME> i'm lonely
#33421
<Kosta> oh this will be fun
<Kosta> here's some records that I know for a fact are in my car
<Kosta> The Clash -- London Calling
<Kosta> Brahms 3rd and 4th (Berlin, von karajan...)
<Kosta> 2 eminem records
<Kosta> Yes -- The Yes Album
<Kosta> Toy Dolls -- Greatest hits or anthology or whatever it's called
<Kosta> Rush -- Chronicles
<Kosta> Bob Marley -- Legend
<Kosta> A -- um... whatever their record is called
<Kosta> Massive Attack -- the gray one
<Kosta> um
<Kosta> Oingo Boingo -- boingo alive
<Kosta> oh that's not the title
<Kosta> I can't remember the title, but the Cd cover is gray
<Kosta> or grey
<Kosta> the score to Glory
<Kosta> Doobie Brothers
<Kosta> greatest hits
<Kosta> James Taylor, greatest hits
<Kosta> Carol King -- Tapestry
<Kurt> sell your car
Comment: Kosta writes film music for a living
#12292
Daeg says, "We are watching the dead deer show."
Una says, "A whole show about dead deers?"
Daeg says, "It seems to be."
Una says, "This isn't that Canadian soft porn channel again, is it? :)"
#35319
<mindstorms> investment Advice:
<mindstorms> If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
<mindstorms> With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
<mindstorms> With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
<mindstorms> But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling price, you would have $214.00.
<mindstorms> Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
<mindstorms> It's called the 401-Keg Plan
#32754
* Quits: t0t0 (Quit: Sometimes I dream about being caried off by a big giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?)
Comment: Yes, it does
#7558
<FlagshipX> damn... i don't want to take a shower... i want to sleep
<thine_cow|PHP|> Flag: then, sleep in the shower!
<FlagshipX> hmm
<thine_cow|PHP|> (i've done it... sure you're all wrinkly but damnnit, you're refreshed all over!)
#10881
<jorm> it will be my favorite thing until i remember that i have a penis.
#303802
<Pryoidain> Meh, nothing interesting, just another day of me being a complete asshole to unsuspecting citizens
<Pryoidain> A legitimate, honest to god, door to door vacuum salesman came up at the best time.
<Pryoidain> I was vacuuming the rug behing the front door, and he comes up and knocks on it, so I check the peephole
<Pryoidain> It's pretty obvious what you're selling when you're holding a vacuum in one hand.
<Pryoidain> anyways we have one of those canister vacuums where the head pops off so you can attach shit to it for like sucking the fur off your dog or something more productive
<Pryoidain> I pop the head off, and open the door up just enough to where he can see me, but not the vacuum head in my hand.
<Pryoidain> I let him do his little speech, then asked to see his "Papers" to which he produced a sales paper.
<Pryoidain> He went to hand me the paper, I clicked on the vacuum, sucked it clean out of his hand, and slammed the door in his face.
<Pryoidain> Now, I could only experience the look of confusion through the peephole, but he stood out there confused for a good 3-4 minutes before deciding against knocking.
<Pryoidain> He had a few false starts, but never followed through. I think he was worried about what might happen next.
#2539
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#6951
<glasnost> i didn't have a life.
<glasnost> i had a BBS.
#19617
<Rivorus> i feel stupid cuz i can never open the godam condoms
<Rivorus> and then when i get it on i feel even more dumb cuz I'm the only one in the room
#256707
His Madjesty: So the water cooler at work is broken. It still works, but it leaks.
Ideasman: that's not good...
His Madjesty: We tried to get someone in to fix it or replace it, but they just said to take the water bottle out when we're not using it.
Ideasman: WTF? where are you working?
His Madjesty: Microsoft.
#27182
<peekaboo> age?
<teethgrinder> i'm strong
<teethgrinder> 28 years old
<peekaboo> virg?
<peekaboo> plz say no
<teethgrinder> haha, no
<teethgrinder> aquarius