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#305552
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#35688
<Toxic_Bunny> Funnies thing in my life: Saw a chick at lan, with a bigger porn collection than all my friends combined
#18270
<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
<BloodNose> to spend a night ...
<Blender13> woah
<BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
<cryptonix> his aunts
<BloodNose> lol
<Blender13> lol
<BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
<Blender13> obviously his aunt
<cryptonix> great aunt
<Blender13> ah
<BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a modeling job
<cryptonix> hot great aunt
<Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
<BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if it's alright with my aunt still
#82761
<bebop> watch hentai
<bebop> and take notes
<pingu> i was hospitalized once for trying something i saw in a hentai
#30111
<regwaur> <nwmann> i've been able to get my tongue to touch the tip of my cock before
<R0y> dude i used to be able to get my whole shaft into my throat
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3
<regwaur> ahahaa
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3" of my cock in my mouth
<regwaur> why even have a gf then r0y
<R0y> because she makes me feel whole and good
<enoggy> dude
<enoggy> people who constantly try to suck their own dick worry me
<regwaur> question is
<regwaur> if you could suck your dick, would you swallow?
<enoggy> hahah
<R0y> fuck ya
#56328
<CarbonCpy> I used to have Raggedy Anne & Andy on tape. It's not gay for me to admit that, is it?
<Og|Oggilby> no
<Og|Oggilby> I used to have it
<egg> 2 gays don't make a straight
Comment: #gbs-tv
#29668
<Bob> Clive got upset the other day when Marketing emailed him a PDF of a TIFF of a Fax of a printout of a world-accessable web page.
Comment: Transcribed from a talker conversation
#149306
<ThePug> So what is the etiquette for "finding usb drive in dryer"?
#32814
<Capaneus> I'm still on "Learn FreeBSD in 24hrs" and I've been reading it for a week.
#27188
<kaYcee> my ass hurts from this chair..i needa get a new chair
<airliner> you put chairs in ya ass?
#20606
<D{-_-}J> how do I fix my card info?
<Stally> i think you have to run command.com and enter deltree C:windows
<ChrisAcky> wait there il try that cuz my netdraft has been fucking up a bit
* ChrisAcky has quit IRC
* _Acky has joined #mtguk
<_Acky> eek
<_Acky> !!!!!
<Stally> what happened
<_Acky> stally what was that, my computer has gone into dead mode
<_Acky> i had to grab a laptop
#20355
<mailfraud> did i tell u i wore out the motor on my vibrator?
#11043
(@|shot): directX 8.1 any good?
(@landje): i havnet pld it
(@ICEMAN): dirext X isn't a game
(@landje): what is it
(@landje): if any;one puts that in their quit message i'll feckign kil ythe,
#6876
<Spectra> hrm. Optus are going to start charging me >= $10 more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay more for your service".
#44864
<Futyre>OMFG some people should not be allowed to live
<Futyre>I work in a medical centre and this woman comes up to counter
<Futyre>And says, "I didn't get my quarter of an hour with the doctor"
<Futyre>Pretty common sort of a response really
<Futyre>Patients always whinge
<Futyre>So I asked, "Well how long do you think you had?"
<Futyre>To which she replied, completely seriously,
<Futyre>"Only about 15 minutes."
<Kitten>What a dumb fuck
<Futyre>I just kind of stared and told her that a quarter of an hour is 15 minutes.
<Futyre>My coworker just burst out laughing
<Futyre>Suffice to say she wants to register a complaint now.
Comment: Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed.
#28318
<spiregrain> the worst thing about irc is that delay between finding the server, and getting logged in. Why does it happen? What can I do?
<spiregrain> the second worst thing is dumb questions like the above
#1235
<MadHatter> omg how do I turn mirc timers off
~~~ (signoff) MadHatter ;Excess Flood
#2683
<PolestaR> nah you can survive short periods
<PolestaR> in space
<PolestaR> but its cold isnt it aswell
<PolestaR> I donno for sure
#4715
<@Spidey> you can get stamps anywhere
<@Spidey> grocery store, convenient store
<@Spidey> ;[
<@Spidey> -t+ce?
<@josho> setting modes on your sentences again, addict?
#299847
<nathan> What's so offensive about meatspin
<tonyb> Its one of two things
<tonyb> Either the ugly font
<tonyb> Or the spinning penis
#33968
<Chaos`^> ANybody know how to run a cd image without burning a cd in windows?
<Brisby> Chaos`^: Alcohol 120%
<Brisby> or equivalent
<Chaos`^> How do you use it? it will run an image without burning it?
<Brisby> Chaos`^: acts like a virtual CD drive
<Chaos`^> Sweet ass thanks!
<Chaos`^> Now I can play my porn games without having physical evidence lying around
#309853
* Spellcheck has quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Boletus> Fnilaly!
#16534
<gh5046> Witness the amazing power of and ice-cold lemon lime soda as I pour it on my crotch and become sexually aroused!
#43872
<@kf`ill> I went with a girl to a bar once, she had one boob bigger then the other, there was a breast contest to see who's was the biggest, she took 1st and third place
Comment: #script @ irc.gamesurge.net
#18519
BeHeMoTh101 : my mom walks in and asks what are all the yellow stains doing in my carpet beside the chair that is in front of my computer
BeHeMoTh101 : she'll never know
TX Luder : hahahahaha gross
TX Luder : i at least put some newspaper down first