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#16361
<Jake> so I got dissed by this girl i was talking to online
<Jake> we were getting along really well and she wanted to meet
<Jake> but she wanted a picture
<Jake> so I sent her one (got one of hers, she was fine)
<Jake> she said "I'm really looking for some one more 'athletic'"
<Jake> bummer
<Jake> so i say
<Jake> well im trying hard, ever since i have been able to afford the full time trainer and chef I've lost over 200 lbs
<Jake> she says you can afford a trainer/chef
<Jake> i say yeah
<Jake> she changes her mind about meeting
<Jake> i tell her to go fuck herself
#6419
<extremist> strep?
<extremist> that thing where girls take their clothes off?
#97516
<CTho> i really think NOAA should have called "National Weather Service" "Atmospheric Research Center" instead.
<CTho> then, you could get your weather forecasts from NOAA's ARC
#6473
<trance> ooo the heat is on in my house, my dad must have gotten a raise
#52781
renegadeaven: I finally figured out what DDR is.
renegadeaven: It is reflex training for Japanese fighter pilots.
renegadeaven: They are planning to attack Pearl Harbor again.
#180674
(@irix) I have a tenetative job interview scheduled for early next week at comcast
(@irix) this week?
(@irix) this tuesday/wednesday
(@kcid) you'll be there sometime between 8 and noon?
#5763
<Urganite> THERE ARE NO BAGELS BUT ONION, AND MOHAMMED IS HIS PROPHET
<Urganite> ...
<OneiWilly> you are worshipping a false bagel
#29629
<FlAWD> lol tattoo yer stop n shop card barcode on yer wang
<FlAWD> Clerk: do you have your card?
<FlAWD> Me: Yes
<FlAWD> Me: :::zziiipppppp:::
#28981
<bailey> nice, i emailed a guy about his ebay auction asking if the soundcard he's selling works and comes with drivers
<bailey> and he replied "please do not bid on this item"
#8767
<undrewb> I keep telling you, you can come work for me
<MMouse> what would i be doing?
<Tippytoes> cleaning his house
<undrewb> delphi programming :)
<MMouse> urgh
<MMouse> would i have to learn delphi?
#178
<homerj> I'm saying that as a friend, not as a linux zealot
#12291
<Hurricane> I wonder if the Banner people would be offended if I started a
little project that would require about 400 inserts per second
on the Oracle server.
<Krinberry> Easy way to find out, Bran :)
<Hurricane> Yes! Exploration through experimentation is what a University
is all about, after all. :)
<Gord> They mean pot and orgies, not database hosing! (:
#49559
<Jakl> oh god that was not good
<Jakl> okay so my balls were itching right
<rat> I don't like the way this is sounding...
<Jakl> they wouldn't quit so i went into my wifes bathroom and got some anti-itch cream
<Jakl> i squeeze some out of the tube and apply it to my sack
<Jakl> it starts burning, and within seconds i feel like my balls are going to melt off
<Jakl> istarted screaming and my wife ran in and was like "what's wrong?!"
<Jakl> i explain my situation and she starts cracking up
<Jakl> as i'm standing there nearly in tears she grabs the tubee and points to the ingredients
<Jakl> the cream was mentholated
<rat> rofl
<Jakl> my nuts are still burning even after a shower
<Jakl> but the itching stopped
#11179
<drastic> anyone know of a program that would display free hd space for multiple drives on the desktop or something?
<ninth> drastic: you could write down how much space is free on a piece of paper.. then scan it.. and set it as your wallpaper
#6759
<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but anyways..
#38397
<scriptx> i told some chic tonight
<scriptx> during beerpong
<scriptx> that if i were rich i'd buy an oc192
<scriptx> she's like.. a what?
<scriptx> i said.. the mad fast internet
<scriptx> and she was like.. oh.. nice
<scriptx> you're damn right bitch
<scriptx> she's getting packeted
<scriptx> as soon as i get it
Comment: #TriX on EFnet
#1950
<Kazz> Wait a minute... something about this is a little... odd...
<Kazz> I believe this woman has more than the recommended amount of penises.
<Brentai> My type of woman.
#301268
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited.
#2329
<LPCx> hrm alabama has some IT jobs
<HenryV> heh
<HenryV> you'd need a new suit though
<HenryV> one of them kkk things
<LPCx> to bad i wouldn't fit in my sisters are allready married :|
<HenryV> doh!
#8153
<Naivete> hey joe, if you suck at UO pvp, SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
<Kiler> rofl
*** Joe_ is now known as Imkillingyou
*** Imkillingyou is now known as nexttimeiseeyou
#309641
ttvd: i can dress my roomba in french maid outfit
ttvd: sadly, probably not the oddest thing i have done
Comment: EFnet
#34305
<Slew> I tried to calculate how many times better firefox was than IE, but my calculator broke
Comment: #ZFGC @ metal.shellux.net
#37698
<human39> Rick James died
<Xshare> human39, nooo!
<Xshare> wait..
<Xshare> that means half my school died.
<Xshare> They keep saying they're Rick James.
<Xshare> :-/
<woogs> LOL
Comment: #wht
#36098
-!- tjs [~tjs@deepde.lnk.telstra.net] has joined #divmod
< tjs> folks, I need some info
< exarkun> tjs: The capital of Maine is Augusta.
< tjs> awsome, thanks
-!- tjs [~tjs@deepde.lnk.telstra.net] has left #divmod ["Leaving"]
#37123
(+fleet) my family just left for a holiday
(+fleet) I now own this house for two weeks
(+fleet) time to break out the porn and masturbate furiously!