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#47543
<Syntacs> I just got a mail with the subject "Kiss those big legs goodbye". Either it's cellulite-burning spam, or Tonya Harding is threatening me again.
Comment: silicon3d
#32825
(+Genix) wtf
(+Genix) i just got a spam mail that claimed it would "shrink my penis"
(+BalefireX) did you read it?
(+Genix) :(
(+BalefireX) you didnt need to, did you...
(+Genix) of course it wasn't actually for what it said
(+Genix) it was a porn site
(+Genix) but none the less wtf
Comment: #gideontech
#54649
Leonard G: Welcome to HP Total Care. My name is Leonard. How may I assist you today?
some body: hi, how do you turn a computer on?
Leonard G: Please press the power button on the front panel of the system tower.
some body: is that the button marked power?
Leonard G: Yes, the big button in the front panel of the system tower.
some body: oh, I see a small socket
some body: what the hell, I just got electrocuted
Leonard G: I apologize for that.
#156995
<Tatsh> in my fantasy house there's going to be a road made of thick glass to drive on
<Tatsh> that's lit with all these colours
<Tatsh> like a mile long track
<Tatsh> of glass
<Tatsh> a real-life rainbow road
<Tatsh> it'll be so sick
<Tatsh> and i would definitely do some shrooms and drive on it
#17771
<suffocate> i wanna know if thewre are any Visual Basic packets
<suffocate> under linux
<suffocate> ???
#8588
<baguette> and it's a pain in the ass
<baguette> guys, that is
<waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then....
#56737
dansSUCHaniceguy: Dude, you ever do something and you just know it's wrong?
dansSUCHaniceguy: The whole time you're telling yourself, This is WRONG
dansSUCHaniceguy: Just going through with it, doubt and guilt eating away at you but you do it anyway
gravybythepint: dammit did you fuck kyle's girlfriend
dansSUCHaniceguy: Get your mind out of the gutter
dansSUCHaniceguy: I drank the last of the orange juice
#10058
<eV`Zenoge> Isn't herpies food?
<eV`Zenoge> like chocolate
<eV`Zenoge> wait a minute
<eV`Zenoge> thats hershes
#116110
<ednos> root, help!
<ednos> the only language available is British English!
<root> ?
<ednos> I don't speak that!
<root> lol
<root> you'll survive
<root> it doesn't prevent you typing your posts in american
<ednos> I won't know which button submits
<ednos> is it "prevaricate about the bush" or "spot o' milk"?
Comment: #taskforceranger on irc.gamesurge.net
#27253
<@DieHard> dock
<@DieHard> my neighbors house is on fire!
<@Forty> DH!
<@Forty> RUN
<@Forty> SAVE THE PENTIUMS
<@DieHard> i run amd
#13599
<Sumez> Jar: I can't believe you don't know what a Skoda is
<Aximili> Sumez: I can't believe you don't know what a Hasemalphaginnojinglanaporphomism is
<Sumez> Axi: I do, oh I do
<Aximili> What is it, then?
<Sumez> Axi: a reversed contradicting metamorph phrased as an anagram
<Aximili> Sumez: Damn.. you did know..
#9151
<Deke> i figure if I can eat in a country, I speak the language well enough
#5775
* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
#9201
<[empathy-playing]> irc didnt look feasible to cave men.. we fuckin showed them didnt we?
#27944
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes..
<tmoenk> People have said that i have an infinite supply of patience.
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes spent infinity in just four days.
#19322
GypsyJr> I can imagine the script for an average porn movie.. two pages long with size 16 font :>
#23965
([CoP]Torn) We got a war tonight but no admin yet can someone admin us ~ CoP vs DeF Div 3
([CoP]Torn) We got a war tonight but no admin yet can someone admin us ~ CoP vs DeF in Division 3
([CoP]Torn) We got a war tonight but no admin yet can someone admin us ~ CoP vs DeF in Division 3
(@zapp) stfu kthx
(@zapp) dont spam
([CoP]Torn) who's kthx ?
#32812
<simonf> who the fuck buys a _slice_ of pizza
<Ng> simonf: you've never bought a slice of pizza?
<simonf> Ng: no
<simonf> Ng: only whole pizzas, as god intended
#131840
<MartinRandom> Creepier yet the only japanese I know is how to say hello, goodbye, and how to respond when being raped
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#83239
<K3> Damn it my geekdom is seeping into my real-world life.
<K3> I just called a mechanic and told him I was having trouble booting up my car.
#10162
<Gygaxis> hitler: NO FAIR!!! ENGLANDS WALLHACKING!!!!1
#32095
<peterS> Kneecaps: a 286 is just a bit faster than a 266-MHz Pentium II
<peterS> Kneecaps: but those extra 20 MHz really make a difference sometimes
<Nurbs> peterS: compared to an 8086 it's damn slow, though. but that's almost 8 GHz more, right.
Comment: #debian on Freenode
#122335
<bp> 'i am legend' should have taken place in west philadelphia
<bp> and ended with the guy moving to bel-air
#74555
<micksam7> spling isn't back yet
<micksam7> he was suppose to be home today
<micksam7> hm
<micksam7> maybe he needs to be like.. lured or something
<micksam7> like in that pokemon game or whatever. you need to like, put something out to get them to come or something
* micksam7 thinks
* micksam7 ties some toast to a string
* micksam7 sets it on the floor and hides behind a couch 2 feet away
* spling joins #stats
* micksam7 has just caught a spling!
#61592
<Khaos> Ok, so I was on a long, boring flight on sunday, ok?
<Khaos> the old lady sitting next to me was joking with the flight attendant, so when the attendant came to get our snack orders, the lady says, "Well, I'd have a nice sirloin."
<Khaos> The flight attendant played along, asking how she wanted that cooked.
<Khaos> As they were talking, I swear that the first thought that popped into my head was "Steak on a plane!"
<Khaos> I actually said this out loud. So now, I have a bruise on my arm from where the guy in the window seat hit me.