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#14462
<@Breathe> I hurt my back last week, and it is still hurting. >:(
<SirPrux> Maybe you sprained a muscle
<SirPrux> I sprained a cucumber once
<@Breathe> ...
<SirPrux> man did it hurt
<@Breathe> you sprained a cucumber?
<huzyrdadi> I think he means he sprained his asshole /using/ a cucumber
#68143
<nul1o> this pedo sees a kid hanging around near the edge of the cliff crying
<nul1o> so he looks areound and cant see anyone else round
<nul1o> so he goes up and asks the kid whatsup
<nul1o> and hes like, my dog just died, and on the way to the funeral we were in a car crash
<nul1o> and my parents drove off the cliff, I just manged to escape
<nul1o> and the pedos like its not your lucky day is it
<Biomech> so did you help him?
#8800
<happy> i have problems cooking on the stove, because i run into my room to chat on irc or somehting, and it catches fire
#3006
<djLiKu> 8=========D
<insanelee> wow.. . is that life size?
<djLiKu> yeah
<djLiKu> if u have a 200 inch monitor
#33392
< neotiger> it leads me to believe that IE is more fucked than the average japanese schoolgirl when in close proximity to an octopus
#4866
<fagx> in order to maintain our status as high-ranking officials in #lost we have a maximum of 1 offline friend each
#18
<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
#296125
-!- soj|atchurch is now known as sickofjesus
#30177
<@Wumpus> ctrl-f1 drzlebnt=
<@Wumpus> ctrl-f1 setlength? even
<+Raven> drzlebnt?
<+Raven> yes, ctrl-f1 is context help in Borland environments
<@Wumpus> drzlebnt = there's a pizza between me and the keyboard :)
#2562
<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq
#2732
<im3t8> my last nightmare was of my computer trying to kill me
<Apathetic> really?
<im3t8> but in the end it was just the mouse
<Apathetic> maybe that's metaphoric for something
<Apathetic> :/
<im3t8> its a microsoft mouse
<im3t8> :/
#28878
<blue09> yes!
<blue09> sim city 3k has world trade center A
<blue09> world trade center B
<blue09> and a bulldozer!
<blue09> i know what to do!
*** blue09 is now known as binladen09
#8704
<prower> check out what i put on e-bay
<tom_> oh god
<tom_> are you trying to sell your sister again
<tom_> i keep telling you its illegal
#8134
*** Starlet is now known as StarBBS
<Jerub> BBS?
<Jerub> as in dialup?
<Jerub> whats the number?
<Jerub> is it subscription?
<Jerub> got a large file section?
<Jerub> is it on fidonet?
<StarBBS> bbs as in be back soon
#308609
Katie: futurama proves something
Katie: you can make a girl the hero of the show, but in the end everyone still thinks a lazy guy is the main character
#5411
<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.
#30631
<Lippizanr> i'd be a lesbian if i didn't like penises so much.
#961
<berzerker> my girlfriend is lucky because i enjoy giving oral sex
<Ash> She likes to watch, eh, berzo?
#53899
<NeCRoPedOPhilE_SuicideCULT> how to change my nickername?
#6068
<GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.
<chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.
<chirpet> I am nice to everyone.
<chirpet> Always.
<chirpet> So shut up.
<chirpet> pigfucker.
#7369
<NaNaMagic> he is never too busy to answer our prayers
<qux> satan or god? you're confusing me now?
<NaNaMagic> he has extensions on his ears
<qux> like Mr Spock?
<NaNaMagic> yes jesus has ears for all
#28934
<fred> oh yeah and he asked me " the naval service is a fighting force. how do you feel about enemy forces dieing as a result of your actions?"
<Chris[ni]> lol
<fred> i repplied with : " i wanna kill all my life. killing is why i get up in the morning. you got anybody to kill around here?"
<Chris[ni]> did he ask "how do u feel about dieing?"
<Chris[ni]> whist reaching into his coat?
<fred> yeah. i can't remember much else.
<fred> except the police cars arriving.
#50857
<%robert> we should do a group suicide
<%robert> it could be fun
<%robert> and if not, well, we just won't do it again
Comment: #wpi
#50319
mrkemak71: Kens "Avoiding Marital Discord" tip of the day :
mrkemak71: when discussing the price of a pound of shrimp...
mrkemak71: Do NOT figure out how much your wife is worht in shrimp, and then tell her
#1667
(iSONEWS) [iSONEWS] Update in DivX: My Life *CLASSIC* released by MEDiAMANiACS (49 files, 08/12/2001) www.isonews.com/r/?155D256CD=
(`Thunder) whoa
(`Thunder) they released my life
(`Thunder) how did they tape all that?!
(madman`) no way!! stop lying! it's MY LIFE!!
(runner-) either way its gonna be boring