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#7877
<craving> I had a great dream last night. I was a servant of Satan, and in return for my services he had given me this enormouse house on the side of a mountain. It had a big balcony and a great bookshelf. I was a little nervous, though, because He had eaten my predecessor alive.
#2128
<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!
#14255
<D_Knight> I have return
<D_Knight> And i will not be denied(....dont ban again plz)
#300909
Actual Chris: facebook is telling me to write on your wall too
Chaos: wow
Chaos: fuck you facebook
Chaos: everyone knows I'm pathetic just leave it be
Actual Chris: haha
Chaos: "hey, make sure this guy doesn't kill himself okay"
#37698
<human39> Rick James died
<Xshare> human39, nooo!
<Xshare> wait..
<Xshare> that means half my school died.
<Xshare> They keep saying they're Rick James.
<Xshare> :-/
<woogs> LOL
Comment: #wht
#27909
<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
#303788
< the_wench2> Aikar: I removed --spider, but now I get files :(
< d3x> the_wench2, did you mean flies?
#4013
<Joshua> how's the recording going?
<Joshua> or the whole band thing i guess... haven't heard much as of late...
<Lexx> like a dead paraplegic snail, nailed to a dead paraplegic badger that has been cemented into the foundations of a building
<Joshua> umm... was the snail dead before it was nailed to the badger?
<Lexx> they were both stillborn
<Lexx> as were their parents
<Alamias> Sounds like my sex life
<Joshua> wow...
#20900
<SomeGuy> My computer has no firewalls. It is protected by a thin layer of cheese
<screevo> Well, thats gouda, someguy
<SomeGuy> RIMSHOT!
<Treen> ...
<screevo> what type of cheese?
<SomeGuy> Wisconsin Cheddar
<screevo> heh. thats very sharp of you
<screevo> being the religious guy I am, i use swiss
* SomeGuy snorts
<screevo> I like it holy, ya know.
<SomeGuy> oh the puns
<screevo> when I was more of an emokid, i used bleu cheese...it seemed to fit the mood.
<screevo> one day, i wondered what happened if I took the cheese protection off, but was too scared to try
<screevo> so eventually, i munsteared up the courage to do it...
<SomeGuy> oh my god
<Treen> damn you. damn you straight to hell.
* SomeGuy Quit (Quit: Avante!)
<screevo> think we were too...cheesey for him?
#39075
<CrazyCoot> i wonder how you can tell if you have stopped growing
<finn> CrazyCoot, give it up... he won't get any bigger
#38535
<mata> so my friend is telling me this story... hes going at it with this chick.. . her beds on the floor on top of a box spring.. but still on the floor.. so hes banging this chick.. and all of the sudden her dog comes over and LICKS HIS ANUS..full on anal lick. went straight for it.. not a cheeck not a leg.. but his ANUS... but like a trooper he kept pumping away and just tried to push the dog away with his other hand
#54799
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
#43730
<truth-> I was wrong, the KKK aren't racist, they're just portrayed that way by the insidious liberal media.
<truth-> It's all explained on their informative website.
<truth-> My eyes have been opened to the truth!
<truth-> A. We don't kill black people. This is another mis-conception about the Klan. What is true is that there have been men in the past who joined the Klan in order to benefit from the wearing of the robe and hood - to be able to commit a crime against some one they did not like. This was not the objective of the Klan, but only the prerogative of some misfits in the 60's.
<truth-> They don't kill black people... This question is so common they had to answer it in the FAQ.
Comment: Efnet
#95266
<Skevin> At a former workplace, I tried to google for "python scripting trim whitespace". The page was blocked. I asked the owner of the company (who set up the blocking software out of the box) and he responded with "Animals have nothing to do with your job. Writing screenplays have nothing to do with your job. And I definitely will not tolerate my employees looking at websites of racist organizations."
#62020
<&Time> Record Uptime: 13w 1d 8h 47m 15s set on Thu Mar 10 11:08:44 2005
<traxor> wow, time that's really impressive
<traxor> do you show that to girls when they go around to your house?
#3221
<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi "carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore: oh.. I forgot to add airline
#1870
<timmo> id like to make a movie with just different ways of [John Travolta] dying
#916
<cactor> I'm gonna put some oragel on my dick and stick it in some bitches mouth
<|Chris> what are you gonna do when she bites your dick off
<|Chris> cause she can't feel her mouth
<cactor> uh I dunno
<cactor> smack her probably
#307520
<%[ill]will> psyfail: I need you to do something for me.....I need you to kill a man you do not know, for reasons I can not explain, in exchange for an amount of money that cannot be discussed.
<+psyfail> [ill]will: can i rape the corpse?
<%[ill]will> you make that deicision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you need the corpse to be completely intact when it is found?
<%[ill]will> you make that decision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you mind if pictures of it eventually get to the internet, or if groups of people are allowed to do whatever they want to it for an hourly rate?
<%[ill]will> as long as you blur out the pubic region like the japanese do
<+psyfail> can i take the corpse to the bahamas and recreate the 1980s smash hit movie Weekend At Bernie's with an independent crew from Hollywood and a second crew in New York to shoot the background shots we'll need when we wrap in June?
<%[ill]will> the person has an ankle bracelet and cant leave the state
#7004
<@Logan> I think my roommate has a strong aversion to taking out the trash.
<@drini> kill him
<@drini> ok maybe not a good idea
<@drini> you'll have to take out garbagetwice
<@drini> as often
#3587
<cheezwiz> anybody know how to have WarCraft 3 run off of a bnetd server??
<eldee> cheezwiz: yeah
<cheezwiz> eldee
<cheezwiz> really?
<eldee> cheezwiz: yeah! first, become a beta tester. then they'll give you a serial number you can use. its hella easy after that. you just hit connect
<cheezwiz> eldee:wow u didn't help at all
<eldee> cheezwiz: cool. mission accomplished
#311372
phobos: Windows gave a BSOD while installing the nvidia-drivers, so I blew it away and installed Linux.
Silver_Fox: Sure. I rebuild the house too when the fridge fails.
phobos: If the house were designed and built by Microsoft, you'd have to.
#74243
<Omi> My brother thought it'd be funny to take keys from my keyboard and put them around the house
<Omi> And where he hid them depended on the key, so it was relevant in some way
<Omi> So he put the 'T' in the kitchen
<Omi> The up arrow on some porn mags
<Omi> The insert key in my stash of condoms
<Omi> The 'P' key in the bathroom
<Omi> The Print Screen key beside the digital camera
<Omi> The Delete key in the bin
<Omi> And the Escape key on an old French holiday brochure
#4769
<kyle> if you are aroused by the sight of a penis, are you gay?
<Scofco> nope
<kyle> good
<Scofco> you're A FUCKING QUEER FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE
<Scofco> either that, or a girl
<Scofco> but even girls don't get aroused by penises
<Scofco> at least not MY penis :(
#315
<rick^> guys does anyone know what runs on TCP 31337? - something is listening there