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#35480
<Allahkat> I thought of the most awesome idea for me stretched ear lobes ever.
<Allahkat> I can get these steel plugs with a reb Abalone inlay, and I'm going to solder some beads around the edges so I CAN HAVE GOATSE EAR PLUGS
#8738
<AndrewB> I've played the Expansion Pack for about an hour and a half, and I'm already boAGH GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MOTH
#301188
<+Kirjava> it's not incest
<+Kirjava> our parents are divorced
#304583
Adam|Lunch: How can I play a sound using jQuery?
coldhead: rename jquery.js to jquery.wav
Comment: #jquery on freenode
#7028
<Conskill> That kinda gun brings out the raving gun loving American in us all.
<The_Tick> Over and under shotgun. Three throwing knives. The ability to hide.
<Rain> yeah, seriously.
<Rain> The_tick - Huh?
<The_Tick> That's all you need.
<The_Tick> And it's cheeeep.
<Twinkcide> Rain: The bullets are embedded in cakes of propellant instead of casings. It was designed to overcome the problem of recoil pushing the barrel off target while firing in bursts
<Twinkcide> Has an insane ROF while in 3-round burst mode, and no recoil until the third round has left the barrel
<Pander> Tick: That won't kill a velociraptor.
<The_Tick> On the other hand, I'd sleep with that thing if I had one.
<Pander> I base all gun purchases on "Will this kill a velociraptor?"
#35111
<TLA-Sammybeany> My step-dad told me a story today that cracked me up . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> We had some of the Shake 'N Bake chicken stuff the other night for dinner . . . apparently he took the leftovers to work for lunch . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> One of his co-workers, who happens to be black, walked up to him and was like "Damn, yo! You bring fried chicken to work and you don't give me any? What's up wit' dat'?!"
<TLA-Sammybeany> So my step dad said "oh, well, it's only that Shake 'N Bake stuff. It's nothing special." The black dude was like "It's about to be Shake 'N Take if you don't start sharing, man! I'm gonna' shake you until you drop the chicken, then I'll take it!"
#46482
<polychromophilia> I wouldn't be caught DEAD with a necrophiliac...
#20023
<crakfjsdklnjkfdbnjkdfhjwerhljk> SHE SKIPPED TWO GRADES AND SHE'S WASTING IT ON ENGLISH AND PHILOSOPHY MAJORING
<zamros> HAHAHAH PHILOSOPHY MAJOR TELL HER THAT SHE CAN BE A WAITRESS WITH THAT UNDER HER BELT
<Stiltzkin> NOW, DID YOU CHOOSE THE PANCAKES WITH BACON, OR WAS IT FATE?!?!
#31308
<+ImaboyO> anyway... you shouldnt be interested in linux anymore.. u have a gf ;p
#47221
<AnDreW_BeAn> some sicko is downloading gay porn from me on winmx
<Skyon> ...
#26210
* Spike states that his wifey is having contractions about 15 min apart. so I need some fathers day presents.
<Pseudonym> You should be at the hospital instead of on IRC ¬¬
<Spike> well, we are waiting to go to the hospital till we get contractions 5 min apart
<Pseudonym> Ah
<Pseudonym> Sounds painful
<Pseudonym> <spike> QUICK LET ME TELL IRC ABOUT IT%@%#$^@#$#
* schmiddy` thinks of Spike and adds a new entry to "You might be an IRC addict if.
#2213
<purem> my sk00l had an anthrax scare today
<purem> it ended up being some poor guys coke :(
<purem> he's prolly gonna get expelled :/
<purem> or at least kicked outta the faculty
<purem> and then executed
<Morris> haha
<Morris> They mistook some coccaine for anthrax?
<purem> yeah
<Morris> hehe
<Morris> Poor guy
<Morris> All he wanted, was to do his lines.
<purem> ya
<purem> it's bad enough that he lost his coke, but he had to go and quarintine like 600 people into that building for like 4 hours
<purem> heh
<Morris> :/
<purem> rough day
<Morris> Coke heads around the world now lable their coke with "Not Anthrax" stickers.
<purem> "COCAINE INSIDE"
#28961
<@kingmob> does ms outlook speak nntp?
<@synec> if it did, it would be news to me
#51987
DrakeChun: Thank God for apt-get
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: It truly is a gift from God.
thetguy01: "And on the Tenth Day, God said: LET THERE BE APT-GET! And so it was."
DrakeChun: The Tenth Day, 3 after he rested
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: The other two days were him trying to get linux to run.
#33818
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
#5396
<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college students fail so much
#69682
<nobd> i was just playing hide and go seek with my fish
<nobd> he won
<rolib> You? Outsmarted by a fish? I couldn't imagine.
#13386
<J-Zilla> ma$e became a preacher
<DarkSerge> wtf does he preach
<d> you idiot ds
<d> "I'M A PLUMBER"
<d> ds: "WHAT DO U PLUMB?"
#19981
<thx1138> macintosh rackmount servers running bsd?
* thx1138 looks around for flying cars
#8056
<evilbob> then you must not be gay!
<evilbob> because if you were, you'd be all over my ass like butter over hot rolls.
<McGrue> Is your ass *that* hot?
<evilbob> no, but it has its own atmosphere.
#309987
<agocs_work> It's like the US's war debt to france
<agocs_work> "Nope, we don't owe _you_, we owe the old French monarchy!"
<agocs_work> sux2bu4revolting
<r4v5> if you liked it then you shoulda kept a king on it
#25122
<|Phreak|> Mind2: do you know of anything to benchmark/stresstest an ftpd?
<PsychoOne> phreak: make a post to slashdot telling them you have naked pictures of richard stallman
<Mind2> you don't want naked pics of stallman.
<Mind2> the nutbag of a nutbag is not recommended viewing.
#7361
<devilgrl> qwasz: im a rocket technician for the govt.
<devilgrl> i used to be a unix admin
<pagan> sure have alot of exp for being 21...
<devilgrl> pagan: i dropped outta school and started working fulltime when I was 17
<pagan> then the .gov picked you up to work on rockets?
<devilgrl> my friend works for the company, he got me an interview
<pagan> and they saw your stunning education record, and hired you right?
<pagan> of course your full of shit, your a girl
<devilgrl> exactly
#49649
<Shifter-[AFK]> when I was like 9, and before I knew what "sleeping with someone is," I slept in the same bed as my sister when i was visiting my relatives.
<Shifter-[AFK]> long story short, I thought I had slept with someone and was no longer a virgin.
<Shifter-[AFK]> ...Until word got to my parents, and I got "the talk" at a younger age than I had expected. :(
#28353
<pL1> atomic clocks are for wussies... i use the sun to tell the time...
<Blaxthos> sun doesn't sync well
<Blaxthos> with the 8 minute lag and all