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#637
<MrFalcon> Rattus: it's just random chance that i hit the keyboard in such a way that my responses make sense
#363
* inof has reached EOF (End Of Fruhstuck [breakfast]).
<yu-> don't forget to close open descriptors now [wash the dishes] :)
<inof> :-]
<inof> *sigh*... Why isn't it as easy as in Unix? You just do exit(), and all descriptors are closed automatically. ;)
#8074
<Q-Ball> Average Ejaculatory Speed
<Q-Ball> 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr).
<Q-Ball> you could kill a small mammal with that
#6704
<Expresso> I don't play alot of first persons hooters
#15787
<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
<Chibi-Trunks> iunno
<SiZZuRp> the lottery
#295561
(SatanicSniper): I'm home alone till about 4 tomorrow, so, my mates coming over with some chicks
(SatanicSniper): We're gunna have sex
(SatanicSniper): And the girls are gunna watch TV
(SatanicSniper): I mean... Nevermind
#13406
<@AJ-> [-amp-]: My girl might be, erm, uh, you know
<@[-amp-]> a man?
#9291
<jre> I wouldn't eat dolphin. I refuse to eat anything smarter than me. Which is why I abstain from broccoli.
<AmbushBug> I would love to only eat things smarter than me.
<AmbushBug> ...
<AmbushBug> I assume the silence is all of you standing agape at the opening i left for all of you.
<jre> Ambush: It's too predictible. We want originality in our comedy.
<jre> ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
#52841
< orange9> gentoo?
< ScooterTi> bless you
#31900
<LuminuS> everything you like = gay
<SniperGuy> i like you LuminuS
Comment: irc.mikernet.org
#14690
Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats. They serve no practical purpose other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage disposal. It never ends!
#11422
<hobophobic> cant be fucked going to the toilet
<hobophobic> i reckon i'll piss out the window
<hobophobic> brb - pissing out my window
<Mr_J_Beam_1981> lol
<hobophobic> brb - pissed on my window
<Syncope> Yeah you gotta open it first
<hobophobic> :(
#297192
<aestetix> This is more of a good birthday present idea which lead to my mate getting dumped by his GF.
<aestetix> She couldn't afford buying him a bday present, so she gave him a bunch of slips for meals, massages, blowjobs etc.
<aestetix> She dumped him because for weeks he'd pull out a blowjob slip everytime they'd have an argument.
#49854
<circusbred> my first time was horrible
<MK|AmericanRetard> lol
<Athlete> my first time was with a bitch of a tease and now i wish i hadn't
<circusbred> i wouldn't wish that on the 'right girl'
<MK|AmericanRetard> ROFL
<Athlete> cus we fucked for like 15 mintues and just as it were getting good
<Athlete> she stopped and started laughing
<MK|AmericanRetard> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<circusbred> ohhh
<Athlete> fuckin bitch
#33990
<orion> i HATE
<orion> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<orion> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY
#5808
<GreetServ> [A|exander] l44t
<notrino> laat ?
<A|exander> yeah
<A|exander> its one better than l33t
<notrino> err..yeah better than
<notrino> l33t :D
<A|exander> you're getting it
<notrino> than , why not 99 ?
<A|exander> small steps man, small steps
#294
<Mooglezz> IRC got me into shitloads of illegal activities, fradulent use of coupons, video piracy, audio bootlegging, and hardcore pornography
<Mooglezz> Among other things
<MoogIezz> :(
#37342
< dildohead> i know 2 guys who major'd in english
< dildohead> and theyre both homeless
Comment: #geekissues
#56410
<PRoger> i recently purchased a broken dell laptop. the screen was broke. so i ordered a new one. i know how to fix that, but on my quest to hide the fact that i have a dell product (i despise dell), i decided to paint it, and maybe drill a hole for an acrylic window. nobody has them in laptops.
<PRoger> well, i took it all apart painted it...all that fun stuff. now its mostly back together and it works. but only off the battery, not wall power.
<PRoger> my desktop also decided to die as well. so i have 1.75hours of battery/computer time left.
<PRoger> aw man I just noticed my battery has dead cells. it just went from 56% to 0% dammit!!
*** Quit: PRoger (Ping Timeout: 54 Seconds)
<snorlax> ouch. I was actually going to stop idling and try to help him until I saw that his laptop battery was the only source of power.
#39811
<Alacard2k> Hello, You may explain your situation to me here.
<Nabisco> i am trying to find out how to make people stop swearing in my chan
<Alacard2k> lol ban them
<Nabisco> its not funny, i am not a cunt lickin ass pumper
#33485
<Hamhocks> god damn i've been getting boners all day
<Elle> boners are gods way of telling you to 'practice' more
#27909
<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
#52274
<molo> everything ignus says on join is awkward
<molo> i don't think it has ever been normal
<molo> like
<molo> hi
<molo> or
<molo> sup
<molo> it's always 'my parents just remarried' or 'i dream about sex with my sister'
#17863
<WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
<mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
<mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
<mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan
#304488
<octdave> i need to poop and eat
<octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping?
<octdave> I might try that, to save time
<officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet
<officer_falcon> take out the middle man