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#31063
<Excreta_Pusher_5000> anyone want to buy a bass guitar?
<Excreta_Pusher_5000> from my experiences, girls will want to lay you if you know how to play bass guitar
<DP> you're an idiot
#2730
[xite] i hate movies with abrupt endings
[xmas_hate] ya i hate when i only download clips of porn too
#302356
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY
#44970
<3WD> >.<
<3WD> i have all this work to do
<3WD> but I'm so close to being done this quest in GuildWars...
<1of42> >.<
<3WD> i hate procrastionation...
<3WD> meh, i'll stop procrastinating later
#37255
<gullberg> derb^ircdruk? drunk? :D
<derb^ircdruk> indeed :D
<gullberg> nice :D
<derb^ircdruk> have to drive in about 3½ hours
<derb^ircdruk> you know, car and shit
<derb^ircdruk> I'm going to crash so much
<gullberg> Then dont drive ;)
<gullberg> sleep instead :D
<derb^ircdruk> no
<gullberg> why not?
<derb^ircdruk> need my driver's license
#237243
<Poromenos> Getting a bill passed is like getting a story on the reddit frontpage, only in the Senate you're trying to get as many people to game the system as possible
<knight666> So Digg is a more accurate representation of the U.S. Senate?
#46463
<Henyman>*Now talking in #Harry-Potter
<Henmyan> Having never read the books, who is this Snape, and why does he kill Dumbledor?
#3552
<DAL9000> he prolly cried and then shot himself in the head 14 times
<Wronski> DAL9000: I think it would be rather difficult to shoot yourself in the head 14 times.
<DAL9000> Wronski: think about it.
<DAL9000> if he's stupid enough to use an imac and need help
<DAL9000> then he's prolly not using very much of his brain
<natescape> b'sides, they say we only use 10% of our brain most of the time anyway
<natescape> his 10% was probably located closer to his ass....
#134332
<drharlem> Hey, I never believed in programming with it but I've come up with a resolution:
<drharlem> That cocaine stuff actually works, got a mug, put in hot water,
<drharlem> four bags of the stuff,
<drharlem> and I've been up ever since
<drharlem> shit! CAFFEINE!! CAFFEINE!
#1987
<dr\gonzo> dance like nobodys watching
<dr\gonzo> work like you don't need the money
<dr\gonzo> jack off like nobody's home
#9343
<ShaneBe> i think i just realized what i have been doing wrong with my life.
<ShaneBe> i make goals... but the goals are things like:
<ShaneBe> "I am going to eat this 10-pack of tacos if it kills me."
#6758
<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .:: -
<Kilroy`> well, all I saw was the top of her head
<Kilroy`> I wonder if I'll recognize her if I meet her again
<Kilroy`> .....
<dh> Kilroy`: I guess you'll just have to make every chick you meat give you head
<dh> err meet
<dh> but then, meat works too
#7230
[ace_kevi] heh, i didn't know there was a programming language called
brainfuck.
[buz-] goes by "MIPS assembler" also
#47254
< Telal> "Sorry I came unglued earlier..."
< Telal> fuck that
< Akamu> Seriously
< Telal> she can stay on her side of the state
< Akamu> You know, you should turn gay.
< Akamu> Men don't do this shit in breakups
< Akamu> A fist fight and you can be freinds
< Telal> yeah, but then there's the buttsex
< Akamu> Well, everything has a downside
< Telal> haha
< Telal> I think that was the most objective discussion of homosexuality ever
Comment: in #moo on afternet
#6930
<psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"
#24174
<Gnell|CHAMPION> OMG A DONKEY JUST WENT BY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
<Gnell|CHAMPION> i wanna ride it
* Gnell|CHAMPION is away
#29009
<cstine> my libido pretty much vanished after i gave up porn.
<cstine> not that it's a bad thing.
<cstine> i don't have to do as many sheets in the laundry now.
<cstine> or towels.
#8074
<Q-Ball> Average Ejaculatory Speed
<Q-Ball> 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr).
<Q-Ball> you could kill a small mammal with that
#4472
<the_Speed_Bump> I have a severe, irrational phobia against midgets with red hair who wear black trenchcoats and sell kitchen cleaners in back alleys behind hotels whose names start with the letter 'U'.
<the_Speed_Bump> Every day is a struggle.
#305454
<@Elleo> based on current estimates all IPv4 addresses will have been allocated by March
<@Elleo> afterwhich we'll find ourselves living in a dystopian future where motorcycle gangs roam the streets killing people for their IPs so their mobile phones can get on the internet
<@Elleo> someone should make a film out of that
<@Elleo> Mad WiMax
#34532
<ron_frown> oh god... this guy comes in and talks to my boss about why his phone doesnt ring loud
<ron_frown> so my boss opens it up and ends up frying the mobo
<ron_frown> I throw a new mobo in there and it rings the same volume
<ron_frown> ends up the dipshit had a sticker over his ringer and it severly muted it
<ron_frown> something that could have been a 5second fix
<ron_frown> took a day, and cost him a mobo which was like 30
Comment: #php
#306044
<@CiTay> haha... watching Science.Ch.Moon.Machines.5of6.Space.Suit... in the space suit, they had this "pee bag" with a condom-like hose leading to it. initially they had three sizes for the condom-like part, small, medium and large. but all astronauts ordered the large part, no matter the real need. so they renamed it to large, gigantic and humongous.
#307795
< craige> We officially stopped supporting ie6 at work this year
< craige> I think I almost cried
< craige> Not because I was happy, but because I now had a timeframe for how long I'd be supporting ie7
#55421
<kayla> what you doin?
<livefyre> reading wikipedia for fun
<kayla> why you reading that?
<livefyre> Cause it makes me feel like less of a nerd with no life when I see a nine page article about lightsabers.
#114060
<garsu19x3> hy
<Spitfire3292> Hi. How may I help you?
<garsu19x3> i dn undrstnd u
<Spitfire3292> o sry. wtfs ^#?@! u ned hlp