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#30408
<Elfer> uh oh
<Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
<Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on
#57670
<TMH_> hmmm-mm
<TMH_> there really is no feeling quite like a new razorblade
<Rjx> that sounds like a linkin park lyric
Comment: EFNet/#geekissues
#304691
<BunneH> i saw a urologist yesterday
<BunneH> er.. today, not yesterday
<BunneH> he had to use KY jelly to get his thumb into my prostate
<BunneH> well, i dunno if it was KY
<BunneH> may have been aknockoff
<BunneH> point is, i had a jelly-covered thumb in my anus
<BunneH> i felt like a donut
<BunneH> when he poked it he said "does this make you feel like you need to urinate?"
<BunneH> i almost said "no, but i feel like i need to shit a thumb"
<BunneH> luckily, i refrained, and just said "no"
#12322
<Josh> hey Lan
<Josh> i just would like to say
<Josh> that if world war iii comes tomorrow
<Josh> i loved you most of all
<@Lan> i would like to say
<@Lan> if ww iii comes tomorrow
<@Lan> i loved orange soda more than any of you
#26385
([m1]) so there i was, at the porcelain boardroom, initiating another
"round of layoffs"
([m1]) and the laptop battery warning popped up
([m1]) never wiped and washed so fast
([m1]) the things i do to keep from losing a network connection
#311085
<kerio> i'm looking for a client that can use ecdsa account keys
<kerio> can be very barebones, in fact i'd prefer it
<kerio> initially i wanted to use gethttpsforfree but it doesn't support ecdsa account keys :|
<hl> kerio: My client supports ECDSA keys
<kerio> does your client do CSRs
<kerio> i'm all for the CSRs
<hl> no. Why do you need CSRs?
<kerio> because i measure my self-worth by how many openssl subcommands i can use in a row without having to check the documentation
#31957
<kotetsu> i just put a suppository up my ass
<Ash> It's a unique feeling, ne? ^_^
<Ash> You shove them in partway, then they just get sucked up like an auto-loading CD drive.
#305512
<snaphat> what does ({}) mean?
<snaphat> i tried googling and google doesn't even know
<NN> snaphat: Unless I'm quite mistaken, female genetalia.
<snaphat> thats what I thought, but I i've never seen it before
#62493
<misterx> Want a pic?
<NoelCower> No.
<NoelCower> Unless it's a dickgirl
<NoelCower> And then only if she has two dicks
Comment: #blitzcoder - irc.blitzed.org
#31273
Heywire22: OMG CLOSE YOUR PANTS IF YOUR GONNA DO THAT ON WEBCAM
Heywire22: Fuck
Heywire22: Wrong fucking window
Heywire22: Shit shit shit
Frusciante 36: jesus
Frusciante 36: who you talking to?!
#2713
(zoo0oop) has anyone ever been known to get frostbite from being in a data center for many hours without a hot drink?
#55316
<Analogy> I haven't taken a shower in days.
<Analogy> DAYS.
* silentjoe backs away from analogy
<Analogy> My hair has so much oil in it, Bush is gonna invade it next.
#138
<BlackDeth> ITS SLOW AS A 30 FOOT SHIT COMING OUT OF AN ANT''S ASSHOLE
#249451
Tim333: You sound like a real winner
rockstar111: is that a good thing
Tim333: Have you ever heard of "sarcasm" or "irony", rockstar?
rockstar111: what
Tim333: Wow. It must be nice to be invulnerable to insult by means of incomprehension.
rockstar111: what the hell r u talking about
#18431
<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25"
#50484
<@ChrisH> Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes
<@ChrisH> by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
<@ChrisH> "OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
<@ChrisH> staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
<@ChrisH> president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
<@ChrisH> up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"
#16897
<@Linguica> you say "katana" and while the rest of us guys think of ninja swords, AndrewB thinks of doll dresses
#69532
<clifgriffin> Women idolize a level of beauty only achievable through Photoshop.
#8441
<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean
<Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house done...
<cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never shower?
#4713
<DCBastard> hey i could get ven to install that saturn modchip that i got him to send me last year
<travolta> ven?
<travolta> who is ven?
<CraiZE> he means VeNoM
<DCBastard> see when you like someone you abreviate their name - that's why I always call you travolta
#3369
<C00k0> I used to think ircops were cybercops that would run around like leet hackers in movies and storm your house if you did something bad
<hex86> and were you sad when you found out they actually do very little?
<C00k0> I was quite happy ^_^
#4428
<happy> the neat thing about java is that it's so slow
#54228
<Mizerock> lucas, judging by your IP...you live in new zealand?
<nforbes> ...
<nforbes> The Netherlands
<nforbes> .nz is New Zealand
<lucas> Mizerock, judging by your latest statement, you live in the USA?
Comment: irc.vaccus.org #main
#13077
corner (19:08:21): how tall is a standard guillotine?
Andrick (19:08:33): This still concerns you?
corner (19:08:39): yeah, I really want to build one
corner (19:08:47): I have short ceilings
corner (19:08:51): I wanna make sure I can keep it in my apt
Andrick (19:09:00): I have to admit that I never have committed that number to memory.
Andrick (19:09:06): But I can tell you they are *tall*.
corner (19:09:15): maybe I can make a kid's version?
Andrick (19:09:30): That is probably a wonderfully poor choice of words.
#68591
MotaStorm: So my buddy came out of the bathroom at Taco Bell
WC`: Oh shit
WC`: He survived?
MotaStorm: And just to freak out the girl behind the counter, he asks her, "Why is the guy on the picture on the bathroom door wearing a dress?"