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#2647
<d1giPhux> ME AND TYL0R WILL HIJACK ALL THEIR CAMELS
<sm0ke> and crash them into tents
#3668
<ThaDragon> money == good life == pussy + beer.
<ThaDragon> Preferrably in that order. Pussy tastes horrible after beer.
<tenfour> eew
* ThaDragon grossed out tenfour
<tenfour> I can't stand the taste of beer
#8249
* IllIIIllI (yujnfr@24.66.112.129) has joined #suicide
<IllIIIllI> any slut attention whores here need a man to make themselves feel important let me know i can be that guy if you aren't ugly/fat
* IllIIIllI (yujnfr@24.66.112.129) has left #suicide
#302601
snookums: today was just another first interview
snookums: she told me to go find a seat the furthest down the way.. so i'm sitting there and for 15 minutes i'm getting antsy sitting there so i start messing with my resume.. at that point i realised the third page of my resume papers was a coupon for yogurt
#4460
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee. They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING. Flush toilet was in parentheses. So I assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#39837
<dev0> Is there any better voice-canceling implementation than the usual channel-substraction thing?
<DEATH> try screaming along with inverted polarity
#55760
<CtrlAltDestroy> Last week, I was working at Steak 'n Shake
<CtrlAltDestroy> We had a water main break outside, so they shut off the water to our store
<CtrlAltDestroy> We had to shut down the dining room because of a health code
<CtrlAltDestroy> Anyway, during that time, we got a prank call.
<CtrlAltDestroy> This dude calls up and he's like "Hey guys! Is your fountain running?!"
<CtrlAltDestroy> Of course, I had to say "Not right now, we don't have water because of a main break."
<CtrlAltDestroy> Then he just goes "Oh..." *Click*
#32294
<Travisimo> I always thought Pooh and Piglet were always happy because they weren't wearing pants.
#10785
<rogers> hahah
<guyen> roger: i love you man
<guyen> and by "love" i mean that special "stab you in the face and shit down your throat" love
<rogers> i love you too man
#9399
<Ragnarok> i kinda like that
<Ragnarok> i dig the natural look
<haole> then you'll be quite pleased with her crotch afro
<haole> it looks like a 70s blaxploitation extra
#301123
<Kandarin> Ahoy.
<EugeneK> Dongs
<Kandarin> Good to see things haven't changed.
#26299
<DarkSmile> I have no soul, either
<DarkSmile> I gave mine to a girl
<DarkSmile> She was like: "And?"
<DarkSmile> Bitch.
#16747
<whistler> I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
<whistler> I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
<whistler> BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS
#304157
<dogel> my mother said to me last night after i asked her to sign something
<dogel> "you know how to forge my signature, do it yourself"
#216681
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it.
#157664
<y-yeah> UGH one of our birds died
<y-yeah> how to properly dispose of parakeet corpse
<stynxno> toilet
<bp> blender
<duckstab> do you have a deep fryer
#37873
[@WhipSmart]if you're looking for reality, musicals are the last place to find it..
[@WhipSmart]I mean, look at West Side Story...
[@WhipSmart]he runs thru Spanish Harlem yelling 'Maria!' and only ONE girl looks out the window..?
[@WhipSmart] what's up with that..?
#69190
<@Biomech> I was at the opticians today, and the only way I could think of to describe a pair of frames to my girlfriend was "border-bottom: 0px"
#1833
<fileface> can someone help me with my IDENTIFY, i forgot my pass
<fileface> any opers alive?
<cd> me
<cd> type: /quit i am gay
<fileface> Y?
<cd> cos it will fix your password
<cd> it will set it to 'iamanidiot'
»» quits fileface (Thug4life@c47s127h6.upc.chello.no) (Quit: i am gay «~{Polaris IRC}~» v2.04)
#7935
(CubsWoo): Hehe... all this talk about failed abortions
(CubsWoo): is making me hungry
#7871
<damnyoure> where did you find that link
<Spoof> google
<damnyoure> and why would you believe something that some ass posted :/
<Spoof> cause he is .edu :D
#6976
* vampyr giggles in a sinister manner
<vampyr> hmm..that didn't come out right
* vampyr chortles in a sinister manner
#306405
<goretext>so when I was in HS, I would hack the wifi with my ipod.
<goretext>the school caught on so they started looking at the ipod names to try and figure it out.
<goretext>every 3 days i would change its name to "(insert popular girls name here)'s iphone"
<goretext> 3 of them were suspended before i stopped
<wedge> oh god, that's funny.
<goretext> it won me class clown.
#28325
<Net Force7000> I am the Matrix.
<ChixLoveUnix> int joey[5][3];
<ChixLoveUnix> No, I am the matrix.
Comment: C++ humour.
#298803
<jatboy0> hello
<segin> uhh, hi?
<jatboy0> what is use of grep
<segin> Have you read the grep manual?
<jatboy0> yes
<segin> Do you understand English?
<jatboy0> yes
<segin> Then what is the problem?