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#22115
<Uhh_Duh> I've got four kick-ass cisco routers coming in the mail.
<Uhh_Duh> Sorry ladies.. I'm taken...
#294867
<tetsu2051> (url to girl on facebook)
<tetsu2051> look at this
<packeterror> your so smitten
<tetsu2051> yes I am
<tetsu2051> that's why she should be mine
<tetsu2051> look at those eyes...
<tetsu2051> the eyes of a tiger
<tetsu2051> I want to
<tetsu2051> I don't know what I want to do
<tetsu2051> but damned if it probably involves my penis
#60704
Blackstrat04: i have a headache though, thats pretty cool
dbounce09: that sucks
dbounce09: have some excedrin w/ a beer... that should do it
Blackstrat04: im at work
Blackstrat04: i dont have any excedrin
#6619
<Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
<Jon^D> he's my hero
<Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
<arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to the surface now
<Jon^D> I wish I was gay
#8065
<biatch> who the hell are you gnostic
<gnostic> i am your god damn nemesis
<gnostic> any other questions?
<Madeleine> what are you wearing?
#49617
<seano> when I was 17, 17 year old girls seemed like the best thing in the world
<Scola> and they don't now?
Comment: #uiuc
#52087
<@ALGORYTHM> got my road tax
<@ALGORYTHM> some sikh guy and his gf in the post office hate me now
<@ALGORYTHM> they started off, very long queue btw
<@ALGORYTHM> talking about the hair on his back :/
<@ALGORYTHM> bleh and i had to stand there and listen
<@ALGORYTHM> then they started talking about lost and wondering who dies in series two
<@ALGORYTHM> so i told them and they're like wtf
<+McFly> lol
<@ALGORYTHM> i said, i didn't want to know about the hair on your back and you didn't want to know about the spoiler
<@ALGORYTHM> so i think we're even
Comment: still on season 1 in the uk
#235
<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor
#30792
«%Jeeba» One time my dad made me close my eyes and suck some mollasses out of a hose, Still dont know why though.
#60470
<Ina> got a problem with that file stuff
<Alex> what?
<Ina> yeah, always tells me that the files are too large
<Alex> well, send them separately or compress them
<Ina> but I've already pushed them closer to each other
<Alex> pushed them closer??
<Ina> yeah, on the screen, you know
<Alex> ???
<Ina> those symbols, you know, I've put them closer to each other, now they take up less room
<Alex> you've... pushed together... the images... the symbols...?
<Ina> YEAH! Now they need less space, don't they?
<Alex> ...*bangs head on table*
#8148
<Kiler> Watching Jerry Springer makes me so glad I'm not poor white trash
*** Kiler was kicked by Joe_ (What? You're rich white trash now?)
#310136
<whelp> mom called me and said her series got deleted from torrents and asked me to fix it. i said dont vote putin next time
Comment: whelp is russian
#25212
<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb
#302675
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead
#3673
<dregan> Shush, or I'll stab you in the groin.
<MightyQuinn> no you won't.
<MightyQuinn> MY PENIS IS FAR TOO MIGHTY TO BE STABBED!
<dregan> Would you like to test that?
<MightyQuinn> no.
<dregan> I accept it may be hard to hit first time, but I'm willing to give it a go.
#38322
<@ill_fill> jesus christ was a gangsta rapper
<@ill_fill> they killed him once and then he came back and make a platinum album
#30978
<Kaelic> What would you buy for a woman?
<Raven> hmm?
<Raven> Me? For a woman?
<Raven> well
<Raven> I can come up with two possible answers cause I am clueless in the subject... either something common like flowers, or, well, new netcard or 512 Mb memory stick :>
<Kaelic> I doubt she would be too thrilled to get a new 512mb mem stick, "just to say I love you" :p
<OWK> "I love you so much 512mb could not hold the words..."
#52659
<%Syntax> better !pout !cry
<%Syntax> better watchout
<%Syntax> lpr why
<%Syntax> santa claus town
<%Syntax> cat /etc/passwd >list
<%Syntax> ncheck list
<%Syntax> ncheck list
<%Syntax> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<%Syntax> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<%Syntax> santa claus town
<%Syntax> who | grep sleeping
<%Syntax> who | grep awake
<%Syntax> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<%Syntax> for (goodness sake) {
<%Syntax> be good
<%Syntax> }
#40766
janeannskinner: it's kinda sad that you're a year younger than me and we're like the same level of maturity
Devious hobo: especially since you're a girl
janeannskinner: exactly my thinking
janeannskinner: I should be all mature and thinking about stuff like global warming
janeannskinner: instead I'm giggling over the idea of the printer coming on the scanner
Devious hobo: hehehehe
janeannskinner: COMING ON TO
janeannskinner: DISREGARD PLS
#43688
<RedBeard> should i buy an xbox vga adapter for $75?
<RedBeard> i think i shall buy one.
<Syntacs> You could your TV.
<Hippo> He *could* his TV, Syntacs! That's right!
* Hippo pats Syntacs.
<Syntacs> I don't have time for verbs Hippo. I'm a man of action. I realize this may seem contradictory at first.
#66499
jade: I was too lazy to get up and turn off the light, and there was an umbrella sitting beside me, so I put up the umbrella instead of turning out the light
#53594
<conrailto> any German speakers here?
<issq> i own a set of harmon kardens
Comment: #EFnet
#4460
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee. They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING. Flush toilet was in parentheses. So I assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#10461
<melanarchy> I mean I don't want to be too mean
<melanarchy> but there are levels of acceptable IRC stupidity
#19791
<Vyse`work> FUCK SNAKE
<Vyse`work> thats nice as FUCK!
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> ill show my boss ASAP
<Vyse`work> when he comes in
<Vyse`work> DUDE SNAKE
<Vyse`work> fucking move here for a job =)
<Vyse`work> my boss would so fucking fire the chick who does it now
<Vyse`work> and hire you
<Vyse`work> look at the website she is working on
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> snake isn't here
<Vyse`work> im talking to no one
<Vyse`work> FUCK