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#300773
<@Nome> but edward doesn't even look like a vampire
<@Nome> he just looks like a palefaced turd
<@Nome> his acting is incredibly stiff
<@Nome> i don't understand at all how any girls could like him as an actor
<@Nome> all he did in the first movie was kinda mope around and act emo
<@Warchamp7> You just answered your question
#171657
< evitable> i always rather liked badminton
< evitable> except for the time i hit a shuttlecock into a tree
< evitable> then lost a racket trying to get it out
< evitable> lost a rake tryin to get the racket
< evitable> and lost a fucking 2x4 trying to get anything
< evitable> then ruined my pants with sap
#1380
[josho] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[josho] i think my maid was fondeling me
[josho] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"
[josho] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[josho] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[josho] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs
#15713
<{Mantis}> we had an interesting conversation once while we were both doing
nitrous balloons...
<{Mantis}> pure...pharamsuetical grade nitrous I might add
<{Mantis}> we were in the middle of this awesome conversation and then we both
looked up and here walking up to us....was this naked woman who was painted
from head to toe as a cheetah...
<{Mantis}> with wiskers and all...I thought I was hallucinating...and then she
walked up to me...and reached out and said...."can I have some of your
ballooon"
<{Mantis}> I was so startled I let it go......and it went zinnning around,....
<{Mantis}> she went damn.........now I'll have to blow and another one...
#299783
<ctburley> bacardi grand melon tastes like something
<ctburley> but watermelon it does not.
<ctburley> however
<ctburley> the burps taste like watermelon
#300849
<MunInFull> So I've got an mp3 of Biggie's Mesmerize as my ringtone? I was at a bodega buying tamales this morning, it went off, and this little cholo thug just started dancing in line, told me to keep that bitch waiting because this was a good song. Afterwards, we fistbumped. I felt ethnic.
#303235
<Erik> I tried going outside once, but there was this thing that hurt my eyes, so I stayed in.
<Megan> sun?
<Megan> hehe
<Erik> no, ugly people.
Comment: #theg-spot irc.chatfreedom.com
#29448
<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.
#309850
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat
#24194
<+DarkCraft> yeah well evil don't win many popularity contests...
* +DarkCraft knows this.
<@FlowerChild> DarkCraft you are in no way evil
<+DarkCraft> I am in the sense that I choose to opt out of the whole good/evil axis in favour of more empiricist ideas.. ;)
<@FlowerChild> blah you still fall asleep cuddling soft toys
#32825
(+Genix) wtf
(+Genix) i just got a spam mail that claimed it would "shrink my penis"
(+BalefireX) did you read it?
(+Genix) :(
(+BalefireX) you didnt need to, did you...
(+Genix) of course it wasn't actually for what it said
(+Genix) it was a porn site
(+Genix) but none the less wtf
Comment: #gideontech
#26293
<timmo> i fucking hate
<timmo> when i answer the phone
<timmo> and it gos like this
<timmo> me: hello?
<timmo> person: hello?
<timmo> me: ... <click>
<timmo> well i hate everything besides the last line
#14648
<pandz>the computer guy at the store told me to flash my bios...i says to him flash this...
#310576
<@kitchen> I logged into yahoo account after probably 100 years of not. got email "unexpected login attempt" even yahoo wasn't expecting me to ever log in again
#309463
<Rays0re> i caught myself a beetle
<Rays0re> he's in my hand
<Rays0re> what should i name him?
<Deepy> If you got a tight grip, name him Beetlejuice
#70743
<Flaim> headlines:
<Flaim> > New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
#1514
<studmuffn> whenever people talk about ethics the sentences get longer
#57848
<Yoshi> 28. [Harvest Moon 64] What is the name of the puppy that the potion shop owner and his grandkids kept?
<Yoshi> Here's a hint, J
<J> wat
<J> wats my hint
#863
<rob`> where does an irish family go for vacation?
<rob`> to a different bar
#32754
* Quits: t0t0 (Quit: Sometimes I dream about being caried off by a big giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?)
Comment: Yes, it does
#9360
<[DeViL]Hawk> dammit u sothern punk my mums rich i looked at the price list
<FanBoy|Away> er? your mum is on a price list...figures
#2171
(Reverend_) i thought i had to shit really bad
(Reverend_) but then i just farted like 3 times, and now i'm all cool
(Reverend_) but my ass is kinda wet and sticky
(Reverend_) any hot chicks, msg me, and we'll talk about it
(Reverend_) share your feelings
#7604
<CellY> so yesterday the gay mailman who wears daisy dukes says to me
<CellY> "You get alot of packages, you must have discoverd ebay"
<CellY> I say no I discoverd state wide drug distribution rings
<pagan> LOL
<CellY> he just siad have a nice day
#8065
<biatch> who the hell are you gnostic
<gnostic> i am your god damn nemesis
<gnostic> any other questions?
<Madeleine> what are you wearing?
#8588
<baguette> and it's a pain in the ass
<baguette> guys, that is
<waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then....