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#54790
Trey: I want to play games like Half-Life 2 at full settings and shit, what card do I need?
Amarok: So what about HDD fluid? Do you have enough of that? Because you don't want it to seize up and die right?
Trey: oh shit, I'll grab some of that when I go get some more blinker fluid at Wal-mart tomorrow
Amarok: blinker fluid?
Amarok: what the fuck is blinker fluid?
Trey: what the fuck is HDD fluid?
Amarok: Its the fluid that makes the tiny little wheels turn so that your data can be read.
Trey: oh, I thought you were joking
Trey: You don't have to buy that shit do you, I've never even heard of it
Amarok: ...
Amarok: you tool
Trey: fuck it's not real is it
Trey: goddamn
#50647
<Eonwe> the moon tonight is gorgeous
<Smeghead> Thank you. I just had it waxed.
<JoeK> Oh my god, yes it is
<JoeK> red-orange
<Smeghead> Well, there was some irritation...
* Jessity goes to look
* Smeghead drops trou
#44151
<Alkaline2k> i have no soul after goatse
<Alkaline2k> it's like a black abyss that sucks in all joy
<Alkaline2k> and then it just ruins my day when i have to reach in there and take it back out
#18985
-ChanServ- [#etheria] Welcome to Etheria. Please be sure to read the !rules. I hope you die so we can eat your babies.
#29389
PudnaKP: yeah, dancing was interesting
k a p p u r u: you danced?
PudnaKP: yes, see that's the interesting part
k a p p u r u: i must see this for myself someday
tutmondigo: lol
tutmondigo: so d
tutmondigo: david dancing
tutmondigo: with a girl?
k a p p u r u: no , lord no
k a p p u r u: we wouldnt be talking
k a p p u r u: the world would have ended
k a p p u r u: and jesus would come back in all his glory
tutmondigo: thats what I was curious about
tutmondigo: I wanted to be ready for the earthquake
#14581
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
#64573
[b] "If you're ever interviewed for a programming job at a big company, you're
gonna get questions like this. At Yahoo! they asked me one about how to figure out which one of 1000 bottles of wine was poisoned, using less than 10 prisoners as 'test subjects'."
[b] I'd tell the prisoners that if they don't work it out on their own, I'll kill them all
[ctho] that's the answer that gets you hired for upper management
#45697
<Mephistol> man
<Mephistol> i just got the best revenge on my brother
<Mephistol> he narced me to my mom over leaving dirty shit in teh sink
<Mephistol> now he has to lube up the dog's cock
<Mephistol> take that, fucker.
<AvgJoe> wtf?
<Mephistol> i told u i was hardcoer
<AvgJoe> why were the words lube, dog, and cock used in the same sentence?
<Mephistol> the dogs fucked.. oscar, the male, jsut got ass
<Mephistol> so his red cock is sticking out past the foreskin
<Mephistol> and if it doesn't recede, the foreskin will act as a tournequet, and cut off blood flow
<Mephistol> and lead to amputation of the cock head
<Mephistol> so to combat that, the exposed penis needs to be lubed up to slide back in
<Mephistol> that's where my brother comes into play
<Mephistol> YEAH, NARC ME MOTHER FUCKER, AND HAVE TO LUBE UP THE DOG COCK
Comment: irc.stileproject.com #stile
#8511
<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i pray
#39062
<Plob> You were anti-social way before the computer.
<Plob> The computer just attracted you because it requires no social skills.
<semen> the computer just allowed to you communicate without moving.
<Plob> No no, I move.
<Plob> I have a chair with wheels, biatch.
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#306654
<myself> white castle has toroidal chicken
<myself> Cheerios for breakfast, chicken rings and a bagel for lunch
<myself> pineapple and calamari for dinner, donut for dessert
<myself> a well-rounded diet
#1841
<]km[cugar> i tried to make hammer pants out of garbage bags
#9102
* Gygaxis breaks a carrier pigeon in half and removes a cryptic message from inside, along with his lucky lotto numbers
#54430
< calaf> I can't even have my cats in the room if I'm wanking
< calaf> they're other guys so they ruin it . . .
< withnail> so if they were female cats it would be cool
< bubbly> i'm trying to eat breakfast
< calaf> If a cat can form the thought, "If I jigger this doorknob with my paws, the door may open for me," then you know he knows what jacking off is
< calaf> Or, in my case four years ago, "I don't like that he's spending all this time with the girl and not me. I'm going to shit in her book bag."
< calaf> The General did that. The 911 of cat terrorism
#34044
<Jyrka> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
#2266
<Dregan> 3y3 4m l33t h4x0r
<Dregan> j0! 3y3 4m t4lking to j00!
<Dregan> fux0red 5cr1pt k1dd13.
<Dregan> -"l33t h41ku"
#33390
<@Jon> Someone signed me up for farm sex porno, penis enlargement and viagra; it's a nice thought.. but please don't.
#33775
<O`Slice> silicon, get your dremel
<O`Slice> i need to get my teeth fixed
<O`Slice> can you make killer designs on my teeth?
<O`silicon> hmm
<O`Slice> and then place a window on my cheeks
<O`Slice> so all can see
<O`Slice> and have LEDs
<O`silicon> how about a 80mm fan for hot food/drinks
<O`Slice> yes
<O`Slice> i was thinking of watercooling it
<O`Slice> but whatever you can do
<O`Live> large fans with fan blades made up of smaller fans
#25111
<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..
#3403
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#35270
<elburrito> funny how you will always find a girl to watch you wank on your webcam, but hardly ever find a girl willing to wank on hers
Comment: #geekissues
#50646
Julius: dude so my sis knows a girl right
Julius: an this girl
Julius: used mayo as a sexual lube one night
Julius: so
Julius: next couple of days
Julius: she gets unexplained orgasms
Julius: so she goes to the doctor
Julius: and
Julius: boom
Julius: maggots
Julius: a la vagina
Comment: ... out of KY? Check the fridge...
#40766
janeannskinner: it's kinda sad that you're a year younger than me and we're like the same level of maturity
Devious hobo: especially since you're a girl
janeannskinner: exactly my thinking
janeannskinner: I should be all mature and thinking about stuff like global warming
janeannskinner: instead I'm giggling over the idea of the printer coming on the scanner
Devious hobo: hehehehe
janeannskinner: COMING ON TO
janeannskinner: DISREGARD PLS
#71255
<WarHawk> guys can someone give me some tips for girls?
<WarHawk> im just so shy that i just start talking in here rather than to them after school
* Siege sets mode: +b *!*@ZiRC-80795AC0.sttlwa.dsl-w.verizon.net
* WarHawk was kicked by Siege (problem solved. thank me later.)
Comment: irc.zirc.org #flames