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#307328
<Xynth> Seriously, who starts their name with an X? How do you even pronounce that?
#41716
<johnnyque> am i your private secretary?
<diddy> well i didnt buy you those kneepads so you could go skateboarding
#51788
< rebug> if god hates fags how come Jesus was so damn hot?
Comment: Theological debates on IRC
#11169
<klerck> I've been wearing my immortality bracelet for a month, and I haven't died yet
#310794
<anodos_> good entropy source - leave a newbie with a file open in vi, ask him to exit it, and track all the keystrokes
#310214
<kmc> hm hitler probably did one thing that I like too
<kmc> he banned tubas, I guess I am neutral on tubas
<Fiora> oh! he killed hitler
<kmc> oh yeah, there we go
<kmc> thanks Fiora
<Bike> he also killed the guy who killed hitler
#309784
<Noseless> AirmanPika: you happen to know anyone working for NSA?
<AirmanPika> personally? no
<Noseless> ok
<sluissa> noseless: my dad knows a retired NSA employee... oddly enough he's one of those people who won't stop talking.
<ender|> has to make up for the time spent silent during work? :)
<sluissa> that's what I figure
<sluissa> 40 years spent unable to talk about anything, he's going to make up for it in the last 10
<Noseless> why I'm asking: I have an AES (iirc) encrypted bitcoin-wallet... I was hoping they could open it using their backdoor :D
#2117
<Tim_K> when you say 6" do you mean 6.00" or the 5.70" rods?
<spazzer> tim
<spazzer> we mean
<spazzer> rods that are 6 inches long
<spazzer> not 6" rods that are 5.7" long
<spazzer> but 6" rods that are 6" long
<Tim_K> spazzer heh.. well.. 6 = 5.7 rounded ;)
#47368
<Tycho> AND I HOPE YOU ALL CHOKE AND DIE
<Tycho> except you War
<Warmachine> :D
<Tycho> I HOPE YOU DROWN
<WarMachine> oh :(
#217
<Amanda`> while(every_girl_except_me == idiot)
<Amanda`> cout << "INFINITE LOOP OF H8" << endl;
#305364
<k2OS> whaddayaknow.. it's the end of the world.. Duke Nuke'em Forever is going to be released on may the 3rd...
<k2OS> [link to official site]
<Shusoran> hey Ted, k2
<Shusoran> yeah, finally
<Shusoran> the world will end
<TedEBear> so, where's the betting pool on it not actually coming out? <laugh>
<Shusoran> I'm sure it will
<Shusoran> but I want them to delay it one more time
<Shusoran> and say it's for old time's sake
#14862
<_Peachy> i soooo need a t0mp00ter
<theraven> a what?
<_Peachy> a t0mp00ter sirry!
<theraven> i get you now
#30111
<regwaur> <nwmann> i've been able to get my tongue to touch the tip of my cock before
<R0y> dude i used to be able to get my whole shaft into my throat
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3
<regwaur> ahahaa
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3" of my cock in my mouth
<regwaur> why even have a gf then r0y
<R0y> because she makes me feel whole and good
<enoggy> dude
<enoggy> people who constantly try to suck their own dick worry me
<regwaur> question is
<regwaur> if you could suck your dick, would you swallow?
<enoggy> hahah
<R0y> fuck ya
#16773
<loser> http://www.goatse.cx
<loser> hahaha lol lol lol
<loser> you looked didn't you? HAHAHAHA
<bane> who gave you your name? your mom?
<bane> whoeva gave it to you, congratulate them for me will you?
<bane> it's appropiate
#45815
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women.
#5611
<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
#301336
<allesklar> So I went to the bar. Asked for a drink Haitian style. The bartender looked at my funny, I said Shaken, not Stirred
#37896
<TrafficCone> So I'm talking to my friend the day after I nailed his older sister in the bathroom ofthe local movie theater
<TrafficCone> and he starts going off about some time i made a total ass of my self in front of some girl i liked in high school when i was drunk
<FKNPWNED> Go on...
<TrafficCone> and there's a freaking platoon of people i don't want to hear this shit around, so i pipe up and say,
<TrafficCone> "Hey dude, your sister likes it when I slap her in the face with my Dick"
<TrafficCone> The next thing I know, I'm in the emergency room. The bastard knocked me out with a chair leg.
Comment: 0wn3d
#22131
<mg|Nibble> haha I just use my daughter text phone to email her friends she was gay
<LeadOP-Toast> isn't that a bit sick? :P
<mg|Nibble> yup
<LeadOP-Toast> kk :)
<LeadOP-Toast> She's not going to be happy :P
<mg|Nibble> servers her right for running a £200 phone bill up on me
<LeadOP-Toast> oh, fair nuff then
<LeadOP-Toast> :P
<mg|Nibble> revenge rocks :)
#28685
<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?
#17080
<mrkikass> i mean if she took her pants off im sure id get plenty of energy real quick but other than that i didnt feel like it
#6057
<kingmob> lisa is being very resistant to this whole "dreadlock" thing
<kingmob> probably concerned about all the fly bitches i'll have
#32942
KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office manager please(very gruff voice)
KArmA-: me: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?
KArmA-: me: no asshole, I said, who do you think you're talking to, with that tone of voice
KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like that
KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak to your office manager.
KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so special?
KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?!?
KArmA-: me: *click*
#39441
<RadMhetoric> Bittorrent is the best thing ever.
<RedParatroopa> Is that a Pokemon?
Comment: studio64.yi.org, #tmk
#50346
<orgbot> i broke a G string while fingering a minor
Comment: orgbot talking about his guitar