Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#10785
<rogers> hahah
<guyen> roger: i love you man
<guyen> and by "love" i mean that special "stab you in the face and shit down your throat" love
<rogers> i love you too man
#10067
<Eye_Candy> you're lucky I retain video game knowledge like Oprah retains water
#39481
<fino> uh.. my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner today
<fino> i think that means "clean your flat, there are god damn dust bunnies everywhere"
<oLol> nah she prolly wants you to use it for masturbation purposes
#308799
<Vyk> Ender, what happened with your motorcycle?
<Ender> Motorcycles are not good for deer hunting
<FiestaJoe> well you got it in one shot
<FiestaJoe> and it dropped right where it was hit
<FiestaJoe> cost of ammunition seems expensive though
<Ender> $6700 per shot
#2880
<Avi> is this divx ??????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- thats how people are now'a'days
<Lord-Data> Avi: its always been that way
<Lord-Data> just faster cpu's means they type more bullshit
#261527
<kuiper> My mom got me a toilet brush for Christmas.
<sic> lmao
<sic> have you been using it?
<kuiper> Well, yeah, but it hasn't been working too well. In fact, I think I may just go back to using paper.
#62079
<relsqui> my cat just lay down with her chin on my wrist. that's very very fuzzy.
* nova20 applauds relsqui for her perfect conjugation of the verb "to lie"
* nova20 gives relsqui a commondation on behalf of the Chief of the Grammar Police
...
<relsqui> and I just noticed you misspelled "commendation," which is hilarious only because of the context.
<nova20> well, it's the Grammar police, not the spelling polise.
<nova20> oh man
* nova20 facepalms
<nova20> that's "police"
#53283
* mademoiselle has quit IRC (Quit: boyfriend's horny, brb)
Comment: #megatokyo on Aniverse
#279301
<yoshi> Why someone just rode by my house playing a William Tell overture on a trumpet at 7 AM in the rain, I will never know.
#41508
FAP@Work: REMEMBER :)
FAP@Work: Democrats vote TUESDAY :)
FAP@Work: Republicans vote WEDNESDAY :)
#31049
<@IceWizard> fufFUCK
<@IceWizard> i keant to puyt shredded mozarella chees euin my lasatgna
<@IceWizard> but i put ufckign shredded COCONUT
#9099
<UTF-Xanieth> damnit
<UTF-Xanieth> im gonna have to lube up this space bar
<UTF-Low_on_Life> :o
<UTF-Xanieth> EmptyStare, you got some of that astrolube your bro uses?
#103771
FrierT: when life gives you lemons, ask life if it knows its supporting underage farming labour in several tropical countries.
#114281
<mario> wtf
<mario> you know your office is portal crazy when:
<mario> the cake in the kitchen has a sign saying "The cake lies" and sings "Still Alive" when you open the box
<mario> someone talked the contractor into making a few of the doors oval-shaped "portals" instead
<mario> complete with painted orange/blue patterns on each corresponding side
<mario> your file server is swinging from the ceiling aptly named "GLaDOS"
<mario> the new company motto is "There's a hole in the sky through which things may fly"
<mario> and there's a bunch of weighted ikea boxes with hearts on them scattered about
<mario> guess the VP doesn't expect we'll have any clients anytime soon :|
#6890
<sal> how to best explain the need for distributed systems to management? redundancy?
<Morbus> bodies.
<Morbus> think about it: if you bury a single body in one place, when the police find it, you're screwed.
<Morbus> but cut a body up and bury it all over the place, and you're maximizing your potential.
<sal> yeah im sure that'll hit close enough to home
#68
<HomerJ> Microsoft could shit in a box, adn most people would buy it
#2178
<KidHype> <Razoola> Honey, they are picking on me again on the rg boards
<KidHype> <Razoolas wife> Well i never...i will tell them how awesome you are and that will show them
<KidHype> <Razoola> thanks hun, you rock *sniff*
#7692
<evilmarq> my fingers smell of garlic
<Rawr> Where have you been sticking them?
<evilmarq> up my arse
<Rawr> Your arse smells of garlic?
<evilmarq> yes
<Rawr> Why?
<evilmarq> i put garlic up my ass
#85
<matt> you could fit a carrot up that nose
#296712
<Xyzyxx> Random fact, I kinda dislike internet-based communications like irc and forums because while I'm typing my response to something, 13 other people have responded
<so|crates> type faster?
<taiga> Type..
<taiga> yeah.
#27182
<peekaboo> age?
<teethgrinder> i'm strong
<teethgrinder> 28 years old
<peekaboo> virg?
<peekaboo> plz say no
<teethgrinder> haha, no
<teethgrinder> aquarius
#308609
Katie: futurama proves something
Katie: you can make a girl the hero of the show, but in the end everyone still thinks a lazy guy is the main character
#151082
<MotoToad> so, anyone wanna guess what a tornado sounds like?
<MotoToad> I was like 10 blocks from the one last night that hit the Georgia Dome.
<bmatt> mt, did you get to see it?
<MotoToad> no, didn't even know what it was when it was happening
<MotoToad> just sat there smoking a cigar thinking "damn, that train is hauling ass for being downtown"
<Dezmo> thats a mild storm in TX or OK
<Dezmo> but atl shits its collective pants
<MotoToad> dez, that's because there are things in Atlanta worth money :P
#15790
<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.
#37037
<sellfone> FUCK U TV
<sellfone> im sitting here
<sellfone> eating steak
<sellfone> with A1 all over it
<sellfone> and they fucking show a tampon commercial