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#16897
<@Linguica> you say "katana" and while the rest of us guys think of ninja swords, AndrewB thinks of doll dresses
#6052
<fo0bar> I once has a (poor attempt) at a pr0n site, and was working with iBill on a support issue, and this young woman on the other end asks for what the site is so she can test it and I say "uhh, www.pussy4less.com" -- didn't even phase her
#308025
<RoKenn> he's sort of like the community pet, he keeps pooing on the couch, but we're too kindhearted to send him to the animal shelter
#39850
(Kirushi) stone should buy an amish webcam
(Abshurban) you mean a window?
#28708
<Fox> monty
<Monty> ibot?
<iBot> Monty?
<Monty> lol
* iBot laughs out loud
Comment: Monty and iBot are bots
#311000
<Pen Straw> the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle
#1181
Sug*******i8: Darn it, I wanted to nuke some pizza but someone's using the micro-wave...
loofaspunge: just rub each slice one at a time really fast...
#87882
<Liontamer> Aight, gonna roll in a few, and I'll be gone until probably midnight
<djpretzel> what's up? just work?
<Liontamer> WWE's in Baltimore; got tix
<djpretzel> oh my
<djpretzel> next time I ask, and the answer involves adult males groping each other for spectacle, just lie and say work
#310208
<kmc> yes Windows 98 installer, please perform a bad blocks scan of your virtual emulated hard drive
<kmc> you have no idea how completely I control your so-called reality
#1982
<ToastyGhost> Is that a roll of pennies in your pocket, or do you just have an incredibly small and slender penis?
<TheVortex> you talking to toen? more like dimes.
<Toen> actually it's a roll of pennies in my pocket. But that ain't a gatorate bottle in my other pocket.
<TheVortex> Ah. Powerade.
<ToastyGhost> Powerade.
<Toen> penis, actually
<ToastyGhost> Yes, severed penis of someone else, in a gatorade bottle.
<TheVortex> dude, that's pretty sick, cutting someone else's penis off like that
<ToastyGhost> DAMN! SAME THOUGHTS!
<Toen> I HATE YOU BOTH ;_;
<TheVortex> GET OUT OF MY HEAD TOASTYGHOST
#24382
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'(
#304516
<Sebas> When I was working as an orderpicker, I had to get some assorted terrycloth towels. "Terrycloth" in Dutch is "badstof", and both that and "assorted" get abbreviated, so on my list it said I needed 5 "bad ass towels".
#180558
<RancorClaw> I like that hentai you recommended yesterday. I like how all the girls are sexually liberated, and can enjoy their sex lives
<RancorClaw> As opposed to the "typical" girl who's ashamed of her sexuality, and afraid to use it
<RancorClaw> And the contrast of the only boy being quite submissive towards all of the dominating women, is interesting as well
<keikii> why are you analyzing a hentai?
<RancorClaw> Because I'm stupid
#7659
<xwred1> hmm... do you recommend I replace windows me? I have lots of friends, I can wares lunix for free. thats what hackers use, isn't it?
<TheOnyx> You want to warez linux?
<xwred1> you have to, I hear that unix stuff is expensive. windows me came with my gateway, I tried to ask them for lunix but they told me not to get it because it was buggy and stuff
#28481
ShatteredArcadia: but sodomy is JAIL TIME!
WeWereSchizo: No, Jail time is sodomy.
#1147
<AirMonk> I'm still looking for a girl that can get aroused by the sound
of a hard drive spinning down
#8771
<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want
#33818
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
#117205
<ghib[2d]> yeah, it's like when I tell my nephews and nieces what I do they all go ..coooool!!.. and I'm thinking if only you knew what that entailed you wouldn't be saying that
<ghib[2d]> masturbating pigs for a living isn't fun
<brome> What do you do ?
<brome> uh
<brome> wtf
#1903
<Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent price increase."
#38222
<Eurakarte> anyway I know this stuff because all my computers' network names are "keyboard symbols in the top row that start with the letter a"
<Eurakarte> there's asterisk, amphora, ampersand, and accent
<Eurakarte> if I need another one, addition
<MooseKuh> eura
<MooseKuh> that is the geekiest thing i have heard
<MooseKuh> in my entire fucking life.
#295832
<Arkatera>"Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML"
<EsuriatCorinths>Haha, owned.
<EsuriatCorinths>Never trust a toddler.
<EsuriatCorinths>all toddlers are chaotic neutral
<EsuriatCorinths>Well
<eIat10s>Wonderful description.
<EsuriatCorinths>Very occasionally you will find a chaotic evil toddler
<EsuriatCorinths>All are chaotic, though.
#141263
<swight> "DARPA Advances AI Program For Air Traffic Control"
<swight> C`mon they GOTTA call that SkyNet
<jonathans> haha
<jonathans> yeah
<jonathans> It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are at the arrival gate.
#230058
<+Rictoo> CAN U DO THIS WITH SHORT HAIR
<GoneFishing> yes
<GoneFishing> caps lock is functional to anyone with a keyboard, long hair or not
#306389
<@Furah> my ex sent a text that was meant to make me think of her, but instead I thought of alcohol