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#18376
* Protocol stabs Scythe in the knee with a rusty bent screwdriver *crunch"
* Scythe takes off the kneepads....heh didnt plan on that huh bitch?
<jitspoe> I won't ask why you were wearing kneepads to begin with...

#18870
<Peptis> i'll catch you guys later. i'll be gone until the 28th
<Peptis> gotta go home and pack
<Twinge> noooooooooooooooo
<Peptis> you going to miss me?
<Peptis> is that what the no was for?
*** Peptis has quit IRC (Vacation!)
<Twinge> no, I just dropped my bread buuter side down...

#16461
<Devan> I got a 75 dollar check today for no reason!
<Devan> What can I buy with 75 dollars?!
<Devan> Guys?
<Vesp> A shitty blowjob or a fantastic handjob

#19981
<thx1138> macintosh rackmount servers running bsd?
* thx1138 looks around for flying cars

#23983
< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine

#21874
<Bismarck>Ok.
<Bismarck>500.000 people watching the game.
<Bismarck>22 players on the field.
<Bismarck>2 referees and the coaches.
<Bismarck>so WHY does the FUCKING BIRD have to shit on MY HEAD?

#10749
<davidc> we will set you up a refuse where you can make PHP5 if you ever have to flee the country!
<[Rizz]> start a fund "bring zeev to the UK"
<@Zeev> I'd rather die than make PHP 5.0, thank you :)

#3261
<Splortch> i should diet
<Komando> chop off the t and just die

#14572
<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow

#308179
<SkyLurker> my ex had four fleshlights
<SkyLurker> I named two of them and he never used those two again :(
* ZachPrime can't afford one of those atm
<SkyLurker> the mouth one was Hungry Mary
<SkyLurker> and the other one was Gaping Gloria
<SkyLurker> sometimes I would make them perform sex acts on each other
<&ZachPrime> ... why are you telling me this? >.>
<SkyLurker> I have been keeping it to myself all these years...
<SkyLurker> I just couldn't keep it a secret anymore

#38063
<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather

#310739
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
* Nach0z has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<Glorfindel> noooooooooooooooooooooo. my foooood!!!

#72
<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds

#6679
<coulson> Check this quote :) "<n|ghtOUT> my gf can smoke cigarettes with her pussy"
<BiOHaZd> She must taste like an ashtray

#30473
[ blinko1 ] A friend of mine used to go to gas stations and ask for cigarettes
[ blinko1 ] when they put them on the counter he would grab them and run
[ blinko1 ] if the guy chased we would run inside and loot the place
Comment: #d2jsp

#142213
<Orkie> it was pointed out to me earlier that i don't actually swallow a lot of the time when drinking anything :S
<Orkie> i'd never really noticed it before but even when i just have water i just tip the thing straight down my throat!
<Duo> Orkie: you'll make some man very happy one day.

#15777
<sweet_chick> hey peeps wuts happen
<SiZZuRp> sweet love by a fire
<SiZZuRp> with goats and other various wildlife
<sweet_chick> awwwwwwwww hot sweet

#28857
<VeryCoolCat> oh god, im gonna watch out what videos i download on the net
<strangled-cake> why?
<strangled-cake> MPAA subpoena?
<VeryCoolCat> no
<VeryCoolCat> i got a bad porno

#300220
<BubbaTheLoveSponge> more facial hair talk: tom
<SpaceGeostrategy> Tom's facial hair is basically the reverse Hitler
<@strifeheart> my head nearly exploded when I saw his beard for the first time
<SpaceGeostrategy> he has facial hair everywhere Hitler didn't
<BubbaTheLoveSponge> whats he doing these days
<SpaceGeostrategy> perhaps he is creating 6 million Jews

#49491
<xkcd> Guy in line:  English should be the national language, these immigrants should have to learn English when they come here.
<xkcd> Girl in line:  Yeah
<xkcd> Guy:  When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there.  English is the language of the land.
<xkcd> Sarah Mac:  (from behind in line) Excuse me, but -- osio sarah dawado.
<xkcd> Guy:  What the hell was that?
<xkcd> Sarah:  Cherokee.

#35720
<the_stick> gfjgfjgfj : because I blew up a $152 PSU in the most stupid way
<the_stick> Life was almost perfect...now Im back into a puddle of shit
<gfjgfjgfj> Ah.
<gfjgfjgfj> From perfection to shit in 3 easy steps.
<the_stick> 1 step actually "Just connect the PSU into the wrong voltage outlet"
<gfjgfjgfj> Yes, but step 1 was "Buy excellent PSU" and step 3 is "Cry self to sleep".
<the_stick> Oh yeah
Comment: #Futuremark

#107571
<Zeralug> I don't like cheese
<+Lash> Why not?
<Zeralug> It smells
<+Lash> Well, by that standar, I don't like you.

#62493
<misterx> Want a pic?
<NoelCower> No.
<NoelCower> Unless it's a dickgirl
<NoelCower> And then only if she has two dicks
Comment: #blitzcoder - irc.blitzed.org

#71222
< Syntacs> It's a shame Nintendo isn't releasing today, because they could have an advertising campaign that said "Happy Hallowiin!  Don't forget to trick or twiit!", and we'd all be like "Hah!  What a delightful pun from the loveable and eccentric Japanese.", and Sony would say "Uh, Happy Thanksps3ing.  Err.  Shit."

#305931
<Joh> The worst part of life:
<Joh> That time between being able to drive the little cars at legoland and being able to drive real cars.

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