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#14622
<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume: Domestic Goddess <- Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house
#15435
<Setups> is it a forest fire?
<Setups> I CAN SEE THE SMOKE FROM MY HOUSE
<SneakyPete> wtf going on setups? what state?
<Setups> its in alberta
<Setups> canada
<Raider|FIRE> must be forest fire
<travelyan> they have fire in canada?
<Setups> fuck you
<Setups> eh
#295612
<%bassist> 2 days ago i answered a telemarketer pretending i was a telemarketer selling them stuff
#6934
<CapnKev> Nothing's illegal when you're dead.
<Satrina> "dead girls don't say no"
#251320
Zac2: "Scientists Find Gene That Makes You Good at Halo Also Makes You a Premature Ejaculator"
Jed_Reality: New Macbooks announced.
#28391
* norn changes topic to 'scorp on marriage: [06:08] <Scorpy> It's like free falling off a cliff, it's fun and exciting for a while and then you hit the ground and die or break most of your bones in your body.'
#300149
<ninjapirate> sometimes i hear "Eye of the tiger" when i'm masturbating.
<ninjapirate> that's how glorious my penis is
<jaban> "so many times it happens too fast"
<jaban> "you must fight just to keep [it] alive"
<jaban> thinking of that part in particular?
#8102
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#18519
BeHeMoTh101 : my mom walks in and asks what are all the yellow stains doing in my carpet beside the chair that is in front of my computer
BeHeMoTh101 : she'll never know
TX Luder : hahahahaha gross
TX Luder : i at least put some newspaper down first
#3726
<zeepe> swede girls are legendary
<Janus120> can i have one?
<zeepe> well
<zeepe> you have to be young and pretty with a big cock
<Janus120> im 5 inches myself, but im a very good listener
#304568
Kasm279: what does flash use?
fleebailey33: cpu
#308728
<myself> I'm reminded of alphawolf's story of tracking down some guy who was sending strange traffic, and turned out to live in the next town over.
<myself> Guy's personal website included a pic of himself holding a banana like a gun.
<myself> so, wolfie and Evil head over there, armed with bananas and an Ethereal printout. Bang on the door. Someone answers, looks like the guy in the pic.
<myself> <threatening banana-stance>TELNET POLICE. STOP PINGING GARGAMEL.</stance>
<myself> And they leave.
<myself> Stunned. Silence.
<myself> the packets stopped.
#7286
( Comatose ) play dough is the food of kings
( Chino ) play dough is too salty
( Comatose ) but its not as crunchy as crayons
#64493
<DinkyDogg> my mom and sister and i had an awesome moment going through security on the way back from Ireland
<DinkyDogg> I was reading the sign about the prohibited items, and it went something like this:
<DinkyDogg> Me: Looks like I can't go on board, because my 'tool' is more than 7 inches.
<DinkyDogg> Rachel: Jake!
<DinkyDogg> Mom: And also no "club-like objects"
<DinkyDogg> Rachel: MOM!!!!!
<DinkyDogg> *Rachel cries*
#2106
<RockShox> girls love attention and irc is some place where everyone pays attention to them
#38063
<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather
#10203
<DIguana> Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany.
#56318
KhaosIsOrder: you suck
xyzzy: for a nominal fee
#61151
<The_GGA> Never.. ever.. misspell
<The_GGA> INSECT
<The_GGA> especially in a google image search.
#9560
<PYRoTkNiX> i dont look at naked horses
#7431
*** MathAngel has left #vancouver
<Phuser> math angel?
<bv3> wtf is a math angel
<Phuser> that is the worst nick i've ever seen
*** Phuser is now known as SocialStudiesWizard
<SocialStudiesWizard> i damn thee
#2746
<******> "oh yeah, i got me a 643gb ultradrive, with 23 supermegs of zingram, and i have a 160000 channel cable installed by telstra, a proto router which goes into each of my 16 terminals around my house, and i am having sex while typing this all, and taking copious amounts of drugs aswell."
#7797
<Linguica> it would be funny if i got a serious death threat
<Linguica> wtf
<Linguica> wait a minute
<Linguica> <Linguica> it would be funny if i got a serious death threat
<Linguica> no it wouldnt
#47538
(Nitrix) Anyone in here an avid reader?
(%Outlaw) yeah
(Nitrix) What do you read Outlaw
(%Outlaw) im lurking in about 11 channels, you?
Comment: irc.zirc.org
#27958
<Gravity->: www.realdoll.com (NWS) i mean.. these guys put WAY to much scientific work into this.. i'm fooled just by squinting a bit.
<Magus`>: I've always wondered... if someone bought a realdoll...then happened to get a real girlfriend... how the hell would they explain that?
<Dire_Wolf>: Explain what... explain the realdoll to the girlfriend, or explain how they managed to get a girlfriend?
<Magus`>: ...i guess either