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#301020
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np!
#14207
<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
#306043
Akensai: if there is a hell, im going to it.
Akensai: research paper due: april 11 - i wrote it 10 minutes ago
Akensai: and i wont lose any points.
Akensai: opened an image in notepad, renamed it to research-final.docx and submitted, knowing full well it would take him 2 weeks to grade
(7:22:21 AM) Akensai: so i get an email an hour ago "The doc you submitted is corrupt, can you email it to me real fast? Sorry about this."
Akensai: so i wrote it in about 45 minutes and sent it
Akensai: he read it, got an A
Akensai: most of it was bullshit and broken reference links that i purposely placed, fake URLS to highly prestigious colleges/etc, just broke links and made em look real
Akensai: not my fault is a source is MIA
Akensai: 3 pages of made up crap that i didnt research, turned in more than a week late, written in 45 minutes. 98% A
#311316
<Helix_Mouse> I want a website full of examples of retarded, nonsensical c++ code that runs and you have to guess what the output is
<Pi> that's called "stack overflow"
#66499
jade: I was too lazy to get up and turn off the light, and there was an umbrella sitting beside me, so I put up the umbrella instead of turning out the light
#16991
<jim_the_hat> without programmers you would not be able to chat on irc 15 hours a day ally^ :P
<ally^> i know
<ally^> i could be doing something else
<ally^> like sucking dick
#2046
<train> i'm on prison net
<train> that still works
<Hooblah> wtf
<Hooblah> prison?
<Hooblah> as in locked up n shit?
<Zebracake> heh!
<Zebracake> no, irc.prison.net
#24337
<DarkForceRising> cmon pmab i need ur best anecdotes n jokes
<pmab> knock knock
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<DarkForceRising> whos there pmab u fgt
<DarkForceRising> !pmab
<DarkForceRising> pmab
<DarkForceRising> oi pmab
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<pmab> whos where?
* DarkForceRising is now known as dfr^ihatepmab
#16461
<Devan> I got a 75 dollar check today for no reason!
<Devan> What can I buy with 75 dollars?!
<Devan> Guys?
<Vesp> A shitty blowjob or a fantastic handjob
#11967
<Xyonz> there are gay girls in my class that use me to get porn for them
<Xyonz> which i find amusing
<Xyonz> since i hardly look at porn
<Xyonz> :\
<_rb> are they hot?
<Xyonz> not by most people's standards, but i'd say they are
#3680
<mightyflo> i still want the milli vanilli cd
<mightyflo> the only place i've seen it is a smoky as hell pool hall
<scummo> Dr Q's.
<scummo> I go there specifically to play that entire CD all the time!!!
<scummo> And the best part is, all the people there never get that I was the one who put it on
<scummo> So they always strike up conversation like "Haha.. I wonder who the faggot who put this shit on was.."
<scummo> especially when I had the whole long-haired rocker image
#15566
Leftist i like songs where they count or spell things, to fill space.
Eeyore so you're a big fan of sesame street songs, leftist?
#304949
<dd7> lol i went to a furry role-playing chat once
<dd7> an op hushed me because two lesbians were going at it
<dd7> so i said "type 1 if you're getting off on this"
<dd7> and the entire channel was flooded with numbers
#56819
(Deranged): I think my girlfriend is cheating on me...
(Deranged): I gave her one of those certificates for her birthday that say "Good for one hour of great sex anyway you want it."
(Deranged): She got this huge expression of joy on her face, kissed me on my cheek thanking me, then runs out the front door yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"
#30792
«%Jeeba» One time my dad made me close my eyes and suck some mollasses out of a hose, Still dont know why though.
#34261
<Kurt> there should be a tv show "ARABS BLOW UP THE DARNDEST THINGS"
#993
serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong
#16652
<DmDragon> all my cars are haunted
<DmDragon> i had one car where the glove compartment would keep opening at random times
<DmDragon> so it opened once and i just finally said "fuck you stay open" well the car stalled out the radio turned on and off and the flashlights started flashing while the windshield wipers started
<DmDragon> so i slowly reached over and closed it.. then the car just went back to normal
#27794
<Dave> I remember, there was a time in my life where I could sleep
<Dave> now, when I lay down it's like "what if one of my downloads finish?"
#3105
<NinjaRyu> I remember in sex ed in the 10th grade someone actually asked whether the "pull-out" method was effective birth control
#16194
<Read^Tired>: u just like sucking ur own dick
<Rayor>: is it that obvious?
#62378
<AlmtyBob> motherfucker
<AlmtyBob> IRISH PEOPLE WERE MADE ONLY TO FUCK WITH SQL DATABASE
<AlmtyBob> GODDAMNED SINGLE QUOTES IN THEIR FUCKING...
#7645
<@netzdamon> ok had her over here last nite
<@netzdamon> right after dinner and my ass hole has been bugging me
<@netzdamon> and we were going at it a little while later
<@netzdamon> dumb beach went down and fucking licked a big glob of preperation h
<@netzdamon> i started laughing so hard i almost pissed myself
<@netzdamon> Preperation H Hemorrhoidal Ointment:
<@netzdamon> Goverment Warning: Do not let gf or wife eat your ass with this ointment packed in it. May cause pucking/divorce.
#25121
<sab0tage> who thinks an Imperial Star Destroyer could take a borg cube?
*** sab0tage was kicked by Q (You are BANNED from this channel.)
#300149
<ninjapirate> sometimes i hear "Eye of the tiger" when i'm masturbating.
<ninjapirate> that's how glorious my penis is
<jaban> "so many times it happens too fast"
<jaban> "you must fight just to keep [it] alive"
<jaban> thinking of that part in particular?