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#7517
<rawkus> fuckin women.
<rawkus> i call for booty and get a lecture on racism
<rawkus> wtf?
#8120
<DisposableHero> is semen conductive?
<Iceman> DisposableHero: yes
<DisposableHero> (Iceman): fuck
#30521
<EvilerMonkey> what time zone u in
<Johntuan> canada
#17843
<Halo_Four> hm, I never knew that
<DiViL`> no offence but what you don't know could fill a warehouse
<DiViL`> :P
<KnightOwl> hahah
<DiViL`> I could fill an oil tanker
#9943
<Kwyjibo> the vector keeps throwing an exception when using std::vector<Texture*>
<Kwyjibo> when i insert ()
<hanzwurst> throw it back ;)
<Kwyjibo> hey
<Kwyjibo> this would a add a new meaning to the word "class struggle" ;)
#307572
< nathan> GODDAMNIT
< nathan> my DB is being an anus to me
< tonyb486> ANUS DB?!
< tonyb486> with the anusdb, every user gets their own "anus," and are encouraged to say things like "just store it in my anus"
#52718
<HypnoGenX> I know about as much about mobile phones as I do about girls.
<HypnoGenX> They're both noisy and frightening, yet they make me want to touch them.
#3726
<zeepe> swede girls are legendary
<Janus120> can i have one?
<zeepe> well
<zeepe> you have to be young and pretty with a big cock
<Janus120> im 5 inches myself, but im a very good listener
#28781
<Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
<Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at the end of the bed
<Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down onto the floor at 3am.
<Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
<Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
<Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it like the Borg of Star Trek do.
<Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".
#30433
<@x1td> mental note: don't download ppls ~\porn folders before checking out what they CONTAIN!
#5349
<Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks
<Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks.
<Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches, the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks
#44127
<ThreeWork> man I love the theoretical situations we propose around here
<ThreeWork> my boss proposes "You're coming into the parking lot and your
brakes fail. The AR lady (who's REALLY bitchy and pissed me
off my second day here) and the facilities lady (who's so
fucking mean she literally can't keep a facilities handyman
here more than 3 months) are crossing the parking lot. Which
one do you hit?"
<ThreeWork> So I think for a moment, then respond "I handbrake slide and
hit both of them."
#33098
<Bubbaprog> somebody told me simon cowel reminds them so much of me
<Bubbaprog> and i said why, because i am sophisticated and attractive
<Bubbaprog> and they said no
<Bubbaprog> because you're an asshole
#319
<Garr|ncha> metallica is a terrible mix of heavy metal and country
#14351
<malcolm> I would appreciate it more if I didn't have to set JAVA_HOME and ANT_HOME and HILL_DEPTH and AVERAGE_LIFESPAN_OF_INSECT and NUMBER_OF_LEGS and DIRECTION_OF_PREVAILING_WIND and BIRTHDAY
#301362
<abrn> lol I just opened this letter and its a subpoena for treason
#311220
<thebananaking> I'm sick and my cat died :(
<thebananaking> kidney stone, blocked bladder, no symptoms until too late
<thebananaking> he was a terrible cat, had no idea how to cat
<thebananaking> but I'll miss the little fucker
<thebananaking> there was a communications stuffup at the vet, and I got a followup call the next day to see how he was doing
<thebananaking> I couldn't help myself and said "well, he's not doing much..."
<thebananaking> I don't think I've ever heard anyone blush before
#62237
<AI> I just found some C code in my home dir on some linux machine
<AI> and I looked at it for a minute
<AI> and then I thought "I don't know what this is supposed to do, but it looks like something I would write"
<AI> 30 seconds later I noticed that I did write it
<AI> but I still don't know what it's supposed to do
#268831
<bobjam> Demonstrators in Cairo demanded Tuesday that Saudi Arabia release an Egyptian doctor sentenced to 15 years in prison and 1,500 lashes after he was convicted of malpractice reportedly after treating a Saudi princess.
<bobjam> saudi arabia is bad.
<Snow> But I bet their malpractice insurance costs are lower than ours.
#304195
<NCommander> Don't let someone with an uncontrolled seizure history give you oral sex
#10950
<Drezdar> I yelled at my mom the other day for opening my shades while I wasn't home. I told her "I don't allow sunlight to enter my room." She looked at me funny and then walked away.
#29243
<sir haides> you wanna know what i did?
<sir haides> you're going to _love_ this.
<hile> sure
<sir haides> i inserted an Aqua cd.
<sir haides> the band.
<sir haides> Aqua crashed my mac.
<sir haides> fucking ironic.
<sir haides> ain't it?
#55166
<Hardrive> heh
<Hardrive> customer says to fix their computer so it never breaks again
<Hardrive> i told em you got two things against ya
<Hardrive> one
<Hardrive> its a computer
<Hardrive> two
<Hardrive> you're an idiot
<Hardrive> i kinda lost that job
#2601
<async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your performance in bed
<Violus> woah, sweet
* Violus installs ICQ
#35633
<FreeRobo> guys my mom just told me the internet isnt working and to fix it and then she yelled at me for something unrelated she really doesnt know how to make people even bother 2 help!
<mef> and then you turned to irc for emotional support
<FreeRobo> yes
<mef> faggot