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#25118
<Arcane[maid]> i stole one of those blue signs that says "phone" on it
<Arcane[maid]> what should i do with it
<suds> stick it down your pants and ask hot chics if they want to call collect.
#12173
<johnsmith> Ill sit at bars and write perl on my napkin until girls are so thick around me I cant move my body
#56912
<HajuuNOT-NZ> im going on a date tommorow :/
<HajuuNOT-NZ> not sure why
<cai> Parents haven't had that talk with you yet, I see
#54161
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU
#14562
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, LEMMER... A LOT OF BEER
<lemmer> HOORAY
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, COOLZX... A GIRLFRIEND
<coolzx> NOW I HAVE 34
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, BENCO... A BOYFRIEND
<Benco> ^_^
#51235
<Kookykman> Are you within driving distance of Boston?
<Phlip> Sadly, no.
<Phlip> Sometimes I wish Australia was driving distance from the US...
<Phlip> unfortunately that isn't to be :(
<Phlip> lousy government
#299714
<Tkavil> I have to type up a speech of my life
<Tkavil> about 2 minutes long in french
<DerKapitan> bonjour. bon nombre d'entre vous ne me connaissent pas. Je voudrais partager quelques choses. Je n'ai jamais su quel genre j'ai voulu pour être, ainsi vous pourriez dire que je suis niether. au moins après la chirurgie le mois prochain.
<DerKapitan> there. your speech is written.
<Tkavil> let me translate that
<Tkavil> hello. many of you do not know me. Let me share a few things. I never knew what kind I wanted to be, so you could say I am niether. at least after the surgery next month.
<Tkavil> ......
#13874
<Nall> ...you know what's funny? I was expecting to hit my rock bottom a few minutes ago
<Nall> And yet... here I am, talking about scribbling vaginas on my chest in order to spooge on myself
#58082
<Emerl> Ok, so I ordered pizza from Dominos last night. (It's the only place in town that delivers.)
<Emerl> When the delivery guy walks up, I notice two weird things. 1. He's not wearing a name tag. 2. He is fat and has pizza stains on his shirt
<Emerl> So then I take the pizza and pay. He's squirming, real suspicious-like. When he gets the money, he runs out and gets into his car, and does a burnout as he accelerates away.
<Emerl> I open the pizza box and it looks like fucking Pac-man
<Emerl> This fucker got hungry and ate my pizza
<Emerl> Anyway, I reported him and got him fired
<Emerl> Apparently, this wasn't the first time this happened
Comment: ...
#28293
<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just like to play there and lick all that is avilable down under. Will u allow me under? i Know u want me under ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas....
#8648
<hakan> i asked this hot girl out, she said she just wanted to be pen pals
<hakan> and she dropped our class
<dr_rotcod> haha
<hakan> is that a good thing?
#118
<voln> I am going to build the first car that has built-in IRC
#39087
<^Sasquatch^> AFK = Away From Komputer
#29424
<J3anyus> fucking LEET
<J3anyus> my roomie just left
<J3anyus> now i can jax0r
<J3anyus> but i gotta shit first
... time passes ...
<J3anyus> so like
<J3anyus> check this out
<J3anyus> my roomie leaves
<J3anyus> and he's like
<Conj|Work> hahahahahahahahahaha
<J3anyus> "i'm gonna be gone for a few hours"
<Conj|Work> pwn3d
<J3anyus> right
<J3anyus> yeah
<J3anyus> you already know what happened
#300769
Nick A dot: so you dont believe in aliens?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: no
Nick A dot: so you believe that in this whole unfathamably huge universe, we're the ONLY life?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: yep, thats the way God made it
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: and theyre not mentioned in the bible so they obviously dont exist
Nick A dot: i see... do you believe in dinosaurs?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: well yeah of course, weve found their remains!
Nick A dot: yeah, but THEYRE not mentioned in the bible
xXH0tsuMm3RfUnXx is offline
#2907
<Berzerker> hey
<Berzerker> you hear about the new game they play at the white house?
<Berzerker> swallow the leader.
#59757
<MadSkz> Row, row, row your boat
<MadSkz> Cuban refugees
<MadSkz> If you row fast enough
<MadSkz> You will reach the Keys.
#32167
<Hedrin> are you sure she's a virgin, or was she wearing pantyhose?
#43499
< ix> ive never seen a girl who was good at a first person shooter.
< ix> other games ive seen girls be good at, though.
< ix> like friggin sims 2.. my sister manages like 18 sims at once. :O
<@Volsus> like the Sims?
<@Volsus> haha
< ix> shes so good at it.
<@Volsus> how did I know
< ix> cause that's like the only game girls are good at
<@Volsus> My mom got a papercut while playing solitaire on the computer
<@Volsus> I was like wtf
Comment: #maddox
#24624
<Mr_Meeker> you know how cats always land on their feet and toast always lands on the top?
<Mr_Meeker> i tried taping toast to my cats back :P
<Mr_Meeker> went apeshit
#3334
<lan_rover> i hate reruns.
<DAL9000> as do i
<lan_rover> i wish the tv stations would just say: "We're sorry.. we have nothing new to show you.. so please go do something productive."
#48908
<@hydro|> fuck drinking
<@hydro|> imho
<@sxh> word, fuck drinking
<@hydro|> people get uppity when i say that
<@hydro|> because they think i'm trying to say getting stoned makes me better
<@hydro|> and i am saying that
#310093
<vee> god my brain is so dumb sometimes
<vee> I looked out the window and saw a lot of birds and squirrels and I thought "yeah it's the weekend" as if they all normally have jobs to go to during the week
#14190
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#1458
<AlexChiu> I should check my hotmail account. See what happened to that psycho 13 year old bisexual girl who wanted to be my girlfriend