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#12547
<veggie> when matthew was just learning to talk we were on the bus
<veggie> and he couldnt quite pronounce truck
<veggie> he pronounced it fuck
<sully> back to work with you :)
<sully> LOL veggie
<veggie> so he looks out the bus window and says really loud...
<veggie> OH MOMMY BIG FUCK
<sully> LOL!
<veggie> hahaha
<veggie> BIG HUGE FUCK
<veggie> firetruck = firefuck
<veggie> dumptruck = dumpfuck
<veggie> etc..

#16045
<|Rain|> whoa neat
<|Rain|> the windows 2000 background has a silhouette of a man jumping off a building from frustration

#11552
<happy> dude, when will i be able to buy a big gigantic fibre line for like $10/mo?
<jre> You can make one for free if you eat a lot of bran.

#18884
·bdjuf· Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
·bdjuf· Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
·bdjuf· "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

#4497
<rizen> uptime length is the geek dick

#3581
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err .. inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse, I'll be eating it carefully monitored.

#28756
<mef> <chem> IM my friend gray then
<mef> <chem> Hes got so much porn he gets popups when hes browsing his own pc

#49596
<Erika> fuckdammit
<shminux> hi to you too, Erika
<Erika> Hi shminux.
* Erika stabs things.
<shminux> 'sup?
<Erika> Oh, just a torrent I really wanted just died on me.
<shminux> ah... could be worse
<Erika> True.
<shminux> hmm, that being huggles, I could have said something more comforting
<cmantito> damn right
<shminux> well, say something... she is crying her eyes out here, cmantito
<cmantito> the torrent is in a better place#
<cmantito> it's in binary heaven now
<cmantito> jumping from seeder to seeder with ample bandwidth
<cmantito> with all the trackers it could EVER want.
Comment: mWtNet, #huggles

#86255
*** Saul has joined #general
<Saul> Man, today was awesome.
<Saul> We all got sent home like 5 hours early because the whole system shorted out and went down.
<kilik> explain.
<Saul> Well, in our office, the doors are always left open because the air con doesnt work.
<Saul> And as a result flies come in from outside.
<Saul> Last year we got some of those electric fly killers installed, you know the ones that glow blue and zap the flies that fly into them?
<Saul> Well today I'm at the watercooler taking a 5-min break.
<Saul> And I swear to God, the biggest bluebottle on the face of the Earth buzzes in.
<Saul> It's like 3 inches long.
<Saul> Goes straight for the zapper and flies into it.
<Saul> The explosion knocked out the power to the entire floor.

#3439
<dodge> i tell ya
<dodge> youre sitting here one minuite, the next thing you know youve just woken up and theres ya laptop under yer pillow...
<Lord-Data> nope.. just you ...

#8300
<kat-moffobsessing> why do dongs always gain length when played live?
<kat-moffobsessing> SONGS!

#310437
<TheBadSpoon> I had a dream last night that someone took control of my computer through a security exploit in mIRC because I never update it

#5643
<anju> hell,not only do i not have brains. . . i have EXTRA BOOBS INSIDE MY HEAD instead

#303694
<locutox> Thank you for participating GNSS 2010. Your paper "Detection of RF Interference to GPS using day-to-day C/No differences" has been accepted for oral.
<locutox> WOOHOO MY PAPER IS GETTING ORAL

#2995
<Fee> 128 megs? 1997 called, they want there memory back

#311440
< hydrocat> Hello, I need some insight on asyncio's run_forever()
< o11c> hydrocat: if it is correctly named, it is a limited solution for the halting problem

#310551
[MobileJovian] If something is objective only for one person, then it's not objective
[MobileJovian] That's sort of the exact definition of subjectivity
[Me-me] maybe for you it is
[MobileJovian] I see what you did there.

#25659
<tito> my boss has the lisp thing going on
<tito> but nobody is sure if he's gay or not :|
<hardlined> lithps are cool.
<hardlined> they thound thuper.
<DaggerIRC> grab his ass, ull figure it out by his facial reaction
<DaggerIRC> or erectile..
<hardlined> Mental note, learn from Dagger's mistakes.

#11263
<CABAL> you're the fat one
<CABAL> like hell gravity would let you jump

#301119
xoebus: *sigh* One of my flatmates just asked "Where is Admiral Ackbar from?", I replied "Mon Calamari". He then said "No which series, Star Trek or Star Wars or something else; you fucking geek."
xoebus: I feel loved.
Comment: #inf2, irc.imaginarynet.org.uk

#35067
<Josh> I swear somebody needs to write a virus that does nothing malicious except replace every attachment you recieve with hello.jpg.
<Josh> It would thus rapidly condition every Windows user to never, ever again open an attachement.

#39734
<Dave> noooo mash has been canceled
<Omni> MASH ended in 1983.
<Omni> It's been canceled for 21 years.
<Mech> Now THATS lag time!

#38030
<@littlewolf> how come all babies in anime are fat and annoying?
<ReynardTodFox> because if they were thin and sexy it would be a problem?

#38705
* chupachipmunk touches his heart... area
* TallestSilver tries to touch her heart area, but smacks her boob instead
<TallestSilver> Ow....
<chupachipmunk> Hah
* chupachipmunk can  touch his chest without hitting boob
<TallestSilver> FUCKIN' BOOBS! I'LL TEACH YOU TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!
* TallestSilver slices off her breasts with a rusty dagger and tosses them away
* chupachipmunk hand Silver some hydrogen peroxide
<Lucifer> yknow, that reminds me of something...
<Lucifer> you've all heard of the Amazons, right?
<chupachipmunk> They are the ancient all-female race who patented one click shopping

#14727
<DistORt> is anyone here actually an op
<DistORt> or are you all just clever lines of script

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