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#26432
<kuribo> either this CD player is possessed or it's trying to tell me to take out this Avril Lavigne CD
<kuribo> i would think it was these cheap ass CDrs i bought
<kuribo> but my christina aguilera retail CD does it too
<MikeSweetser> Ted, every insight into your CD collection reveals more of a damaged, lonely man. :)
#211187
<HoodrowTrillson> You say -I- have internet badass syndrome? At least I can insult someone without involving genitals or homosexuality you cock-sucking faggot.
#3373
<Wes> While most dudes go day-to-day waiting for sex to happen, the sex offenders go out and MAKE it happen.
#307328
<Xynth> Seriously, who starts their name with an X? How do you even pronounce that?
#8215
<DotSPF> man, my mate is a complete div.
<DotSPF> he asked for my help coz he'd forgotten his hotmail password - I go round to see if he's put in a secret question so I can resurrect his account.
<DotSPF> what a prick
<DotSPF> his secret question was 'what is my password'
<DotSPF> i'm gonna go out and see if I can find him a cheap iMac
#30853
* RaphX deletes the sun
<RaphX> actually, I just closed the curtain
#26216
*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to
<Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art.
<Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to hentai" :)?
<Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]
#45988
<sEcretz> my friends who are "sleeping" now in the house screwed me
<sEcretz> they dont know i have a keylogger on
<sEcretz> and i can read that they went and signed on my email
<sEcretz> then on my msn and were like "I fuckn 0wn you biatches" and im like omg.... thats my sister!
<sEcretz> now while they are sleeping. i signed on thier email. sent messages to services@secret.gov and it was like "Im an arabian terrorist. i will bomb the internet! i have coded a /etc/bomb that will deactive in /uptime seconds! bewarn. this is the last message"
<sEcretz> that will teach them not to log on my laptop :(
<icenix> hey, doesnt that log your ip?
<sEcretz> fuck.
#294356
Methofelis: Damn you, robin!
Methofelis: Damn yooooou!
ape: yes, fuck you, robin. I hope you rot, die, and you get kids that you survive as parents thrice over
ape: because your kids also rotted and died, but a lot sooner than you
robin: ape: Do they rot and die before I have to pay for college?
#28684
<Lilmissdjgrl> Do you want a cookie?
<EvilCouch> no thanks, I've got directories full of them
#43380
fac3less: boss sent me 'youre fired' in a pm as a joke..
fac3less: grabbed my jacket and left :P haha
bvierra: LOL
fac3less: "wait, wait, you know I was joking right?" "thats okay I'm serious" .. wish I could have that much fun everyday at work
Comment: #cpanel on efnet
#3893
<elliptic> does any1 else name their member set/get functions with "Please" in the end?
#89351
<TrevorParscal> when she turns 3.14159265 we are throwing her a PI birthday party...
#52819
<Kodan> god! why is it that 99.9% of every medicine out there HAS to come in cherry?
<Kodan> why the hell not banana, or orange?
<kodan> Cherries SUCK!
<Nick> not the virgin kind ;)
<Kodan> ...that's the most immature thing i've read all week
#254207
<+GaidinBDJ> What format should a resignation letter be if the letter is neither required nor expected?
<smadge1> SMS
Comment: #fark
#1064
* r0bt3k looks at his 100 megs of mp3s
<r0bt3k> hehehe
* r0bt3k then looks at his 5 gigs of porn
<r0bt3k> hahahah
#82688
Robin: goats eat their placentas
Pan Man 120: i actually could have lived without knowing that
Robin: so do some people
Pan Man 120: efuckingw
Pan Man 120: heres an idea robin
Pan Man 120: why dont we talk about kittens
Robin: cats have barbed dicks
#35962
<@ecks> what the fuck
<@ecks> okay, i was just outside... this bird flew down from a tree, flew like 20 feet, took a shit on my dad's thunderbird, and then flew anothe 20 feet back to the tree
<@ecks> it couldn't fucking take a shit in the tree?
<%r0bin> Would you like to shit on your sofa?
#181576
<@rob> the trolls that are in #flirts are internet trolls. stacy`` is the kind of troll that lives in the ground and under bridges and asks tolls of people passing over her
<@Phrang> oh, i've heard of that profession.
#12041
<tarmac> HWO THE RUCK DO I GET THE STUPID ASS FUCKIN PAPER CLIP
<tarmac> TO GO AWAY
#1351
<slyfox> lol
<slyfox> dude! I typed "lol" with my head!!!
#33933
Serrated Sp00n: What the hell?
Serrated Sp00n: All I've thought about recently is penis and world domination.
Serrated Sp00n: I NEED GET LAID.
Serrated Sp00n: MUST REPRESS URGE TO RULE OVER HUMANITY.
xdev0luti0nx: Oh my god. Somebody better fuck you before you blow us all up with something.
#28927
<[Knob]> So anyway, I was in this pub yesterday night, and there was music playing. So my friend suddenly says to me "This is good music to jerk off to" I'm like "What the fuck?" and he goes "Yeah, doesn't everyone have a song that they jerk off to?" - And while he said that, the music was turned off and he screamed it throughout the entire pub. Everyone was looking mighty strange at me...
#13325
<Apocalypse23x> dids you noitiuce hitting yourself ehwne drunk dont hurt
#4730
(skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they dont have sex until they do it perfect.
(Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
(Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
(skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck.