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#299916
< Stormscape> If you watch the movie Jaws in reverse it's about a shark who throws people up until they have to open a beach

#308758
<p4plus2> VI VI VI THE EDITOR OF THE BEAST

#9008
<mrfy> hmm.  my title choice was questioned
<pembroke> what title did you ask for?
<mrfy> software zymurgist
<mrfy> "I was curious, since 'zymurgist' usually has to do with the chemical fermentation process in the production of wine. Perhaps that's a term also used in software, and I apologize for having second guessed this if that is the case."

#50443
(elus) oh one bum was taking money in exchange for verbal abuse
(elus) my friend gave him 1 dollar and bitched him out
(BlackDeth) you can bitch out bums for free
(BlackDeth) he got ripped off

#23467
<Lank|war> man
<Lank|war> a girl once asked me
<Lank|war> what it feels like
<Lank|war> to have an erection
<Boxthor> ....
<Lank|war> and I couldn't figure a way to explain it to her
<Lank|war> they had asked other guys
<Lank|war> and they were like
<Lank|war> "we came to you because you know how to word stuff right"
<Lank|war> and I was like
<Lank|war> uhhhhhh
<Lank|war> it gets hard

#295036
<ExZippo> what the FUCK
<ExZippo> i found my "secret santa" end of radio school gift, still wrapped
<ExZippo> i think I missed a chance with kendall o_O
<ExZippo> "Purple Ronnie's Little Kama Sutra" book
<ExZippo> with "text me sometime if you need a hand with any of them" written on the inside cover
<ExZippo> o___________O
<ExZippo> fuck
<ExZippo> 4 years too late on that one

#31227
<RiTe> Saddam has been captured, his sons are dead, and his regime has fallen, but he has good news......he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Geico

#6547
<Soulphonat> My cat only speaks in analog
<Soulphonat> it's cute

#45562
Gluctotion: ive determined that tis was just a shakespearian typo

#4249
<Altoid> patience, young skywalker
<DeX`> but that leia bitch wont put out!
<DeX`> shes got those huge danishes on her ears to hang onto....
<Altoid> mmmm
<Altoid> danish
<Altoid> you fuck her, I'll eat the ears

#34381
* Sleigh dons the Jeans of Drunkeness +1 (-2 Against Bushes)

#40103
Recursive Badger> I have started playing Doom 3, but it's a little too effective...
Slacker> Heh
Recursive Badger> I generally have to cower in the corner for 5 mins before I can work up the nerve to run down a corridor
Recursive Badger> Though running along, screaming madly and firing at anything that moves is proving quite effective... There's a whole load of boxes and random pieces of architecture that won't mess with me again.

#38490
<@efnex[sz]> has anyone read the da vinci code
<@efnex[sz]> if so what is it about
<SirScoots> ef, i realize in your part of canada you get stuff late, but davinci code is sooo 2003
<@efnex[sz]> well
<@efnex[sz]> we just got the beatles here

#31557
<CanOfSpam> I spent my lunchbreak at work stealing my neighbor's wife, kicking his ass, and getting her pregnant.
<CanOfSpam> The Sims is the way to be!
<CanOfSpam> Im gonna nap for 2 hours and think about whether to show up at work.
<CanOfSpam> bbl
<emil^> cos - have fun!
<Glock21> You'll be sitting at your computer after days of insomnia... you're work habits will go to hell, your personal relationships will suffer, you'll go broke... and as you're sitting there in the middle of the night with a full bladder you suddenly realize that your sim has with a great deal of your own personal effort...
<Glock21> ...has a great job, a great house full of great stuff, a great girlfriend, plenty of sleep, a better computer than you, and is happier, healthier, and made it to the bathroom just fine because you suffer for him.
Comment: EFNet #politics

#35085
<Rjx> my mom wrote out her shopping list and stuck it on the door
<Rjx> and my older brother in identical handwriting wrote "buy magnets" at the bottom
<Rjx> and now she's confused because she can't remember why she wanted to buy magnets

#26401
<`dsx-efnex> counterfieting canadian money is about as useful as cloning the french.

#1896
<gaspump> It takes more than tits to impress me.
<gaspump> Lord knows everyone in here should already know that.
<Richard_D_James> It's hard to masturbate to intelligence, though.

#1529
<AlexChiu> Brent: Oh yeah.  Well, would you have felt better if I hadn't told you about it and you got hit with a noxious stench upon prying off a girl's dry, crusty panties?

#301667
<Knoeki> My penis runs Linux.
<Knoeki> It has a high uptime, works well under load, but when load gets too high, it dumps it's core and reboots :_D
* iamalion formats Knoeki's penis and installs windows 95
<iamalion> not anymore BUHAHAHA
<Knoeki> iamalion: yeah, but now you can play more games with it ;_)
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net

#44889
<chevell> not to sound bigoted, but racist jokes are hilarious
<crudesunlight> Agreed.
<chevell> i wonder why there aren't any caucasian jokes?
<crudesunlight> You white boys don't need any help looking stupid.

#17863
<WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
<mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
<mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
<mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan

#2517
<hye> sex caffeine and computing power
<tia> hehe
<hye> the trinity

#9178
<lovemebaybee'> hey guys asl?
<rafeil> she just wants to be loved, look at her screen name
<helminthes> so stick it to her.. a sharp knife that is

#78156
Pan Man 120: wow she is pretty hot
Pan Man 120: i'd hit that so hard the person who could pull me out would be the next king of england

#294742
{GiGi}: Ffs Pony, you're so back in the closet, you can see Narnia

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