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#56208
Teloch: i was helping my tech teacher out a few days in july or so
Teloch: and
Teloch: i got some calls
Teloch: from potential customers
Teloch: and one of them was this little boy who couldn't have been more than six or seven
Teloch: and he was almost in TEARS
Teloch: "everything i type is in caps what do i do my moms goinng to kill me"
#50427
<bog2435> i wunna ask bout INVERT in msPaint -> i invert the image, save.. but then when i open it and invert it it goes backwards to the original!
<bog2435> how do i save it inverted so it can't be reversed to the original.. i want to protect my photo from steal, see!
#53386
< transgress> "The Internet, of course, is more than just a place to find pictures of people having sex with dogs."
< transgress> - Time Magazine, 3 July 1995
#2037
<timh> okay, kraken- you don't need to know a person before you talk to them. otherwise there would be severe bootstrapping issues with human interaction
#80277
<@nakor> baseball bats remind me of hentai
<@Akamu> ...
<@Akamu> I'm curious on the relation there.
< Syntacs> Once while playing baseball he slid into first (dude, you can keep running, but whatever), and it kind of scraped up his knee, which reminded him of a time as a kid when he idly used an eyedropper to make little suction marks on his legs and the other kids made fun of him the next day, which reminded him of the little suction things on octopus tentacles, and well, the train of thought is obvious from that point.
#60520
<@Rjx> talking about buying gas in the liter is for pussies
<@Rjx> in the US they measure gas in how many middle eastern countries will need invading
<@Rjx> HEY YEAH PUT A ONE QUARTER IRAQ IN THAT THERE TANK
#35458
<elitotaco> a 3 legged dog walks into an old western saloon, walks up to the bar tender and says "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
<Kennef> that joke just made my daughter cry, elitotaco
Comment: from newnet's #fark
#1800
<Matt-H> Leeches cure everything.
<JDigital> What about an allergy to leeches?
<Fry> What about loss of blood ?
<Matt-H> 'cept that, you witty bastard, you.
<JDigital> Or a fear of leeches.
<JDigital> Or lag.
#44802
<biounix> its horrible, i know
<biounix> but i'm not a writer
<biounix> and i have a BASIC vocabulary
<stan> 10 GOTO SCHOOL
#64256
(+wolrah) I need to get a job building fire extinguishers.
(+wolrah) I just realized the greatest way to say "I quit"
(+wolrah) Fill them with gasoline
#61040
<Trinexx> Ahhhh, nothing like putting on a fresh pair of boxers :)
<Apollo> bleh, boxers
<Apollo> because having my dick wiggle its way out of my pants is so much fun. i prefer briefs
<Trinexx> yeah, because having your balls shoved up into your asshole is so much better
#28684
<Lilmissdjgrl> Do you want a cookie?
<EvilCouch> no thanks, I've got directories full of them
#18730
<sprite> blah
<sprite> outlook died
<sprite> uh oh.
<sprite> outlook's really dead
<barr> you underestimate the power of the dark side
* sprite watches outlook slowly corrupt her applications
#8023
<kt> i need a job, badly.
<kt> maybe i should hang out with some black people
<kt> i mean go to the unemployment office.
#8100
<meta> blegh
<meta> the internet is bad
<meta> bad bad bad
<meta> I tried to talk to a woman
<meta> but she sent me nude pics instead
<meta> I didn't want them
<meta> but I took them out of courtesy
#103080
<tamara> lets see... something raspberry, coconut cream with chocolate swirls, and lemon marrengue (which I'm having trouble spelling)
<Edmund> "merengue"
<Jens> "Meringue"
<Edmund> or is that the dance?
<Jens> It is.
<Edmund> Dammit, nothing delicious should be hard to spell.
<Edmund> The Anglo-Saxons had a point. "Ham." Three letters. DONE.
<Edmund> That's probably why the British beat the French at empire building. While the French were busy asking for "jambon avec moutard et choucroute sur pain de campagne" the British just went "ham bap" and ate. All those seconds add up.
<Edmund> (Victory! Through boring cuisine!)
#50484
<@ChrisH> Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes
<@ChrisH> by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
<@ChrisH> "OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
<@ChrisH> staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
<@ChrisH> president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
<@ChrisH> up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"
#72216
Taimur: Oh man so funny story.
Taimur: I've been playing Day of Defeat a lot lately.
Taimur: One thing that annoys me about it is that whenever I switch windows, it crashes.
Taimur: So recently it's been minimizing randomly, and then crashing when I try to get back into the game.
Taimur: It was very frustrating I thought steam was just being dumb for minimizing it.
Taimur: Then I noticed something:
Taimur: I had the voicechat key bound to "alt"
Taimur: and the score key bound to "tab."
Taimur: and then I realized that my game minimizing seemed to coincide with me checking the score while talking.
#30820
<|--acid--|> what program do i view a microsoft access database file with?
Comment: #windows, dalnet
#235252
<@`Ace> grrrr, flippin linux aint suposed to crash :(
<@LexMortis> Myth.... BUSTED!
#306411
-*- StoneCypher just found out that one of his favorite and one of his least favorite pieces of software are basically made by the same guy :(
<StoneCypher> PrinceXML and Opera.
<StoneCypher> i mean seriously, it's like finding out that hitler also saved eight million people from an asteroid
#40241
(+bilious) My children will learn Linux
(+bilious) And we'll have battles of whether Gnome or KDE is better
(+bilious) And my kids will have arguments like "Shut up Geoffrey, KDE IS BETTER"
(+bilious) And Geoffrey will yell back "MUUUUMMM DADDD, Lisa changed my gui to kde again"
(+bilious) And I'll just tell him to rebuild his system from the image stored on the server
Comment: irc.uq.edu.au
#235969
< topgun17> ion: reop me
< topgun17> or else
-!- mode/#sdf [+o topgun17] by ion
< jakethom> or else what
<@topgun17> I never come back again
-!- mode/#sdf [-o topgun17] by ion
#52155
homerundude85: i had a dream that i was playing poker with the devil
dackattac: Really?
dackattac: Did you win?
homerundude85: yeah i did
dackattac: Sweet
dackattac: What did you win?
homerundude85: a trip to heaven and a diet soda
dackattac: I knew the devil was somehow associated with aspartame.
#6759
<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but anyways..