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#1651
(tinkrbell) my dog humps my other guy dog.. instead of my girl dog.. at least he's comfortable with himself and realized it at an early age

#297356
<dd7> ah, what the hell
<dd7> the girl i just started dating told me she hacks into sites using sql injection and ddos
<Trenzein> your girlfriend is a script kiddie
<Trenzein> lmao

#16807
<mptBreak> hyatt, what are you doing?
<hyatt> mpt, sitting here in my underwear talking to you.

#44145
<Maurs> Got my first detention ever today :(
<Maurs> You know I go to a catholic school...
<Maurs> well we were discussing that new pope
<Maurs> Long story short, catholics don't like you goosestepping through the halls yelling "ICH BIN DER POPEN"

#14572
<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow

#130097
<+openfly> i did a self evaluation once.
<+openfly> i don't think they'll ever ask for one again.
<+openfly> i had fucking charts in it.

#7598
<Felix1> lud, as a 'gag' somebody set our air con on 44 degrees
<Felix1> brother is on the critical list, We lost Mum on the operating table, Dad never regained consiousness and our dogs corneas melted down her face

#4015
<aeflux> I swear 85% of the CS community failed remedial english in 3rd grade
<Gunny> 85% of the CS community hasn't made it to the 3rd grade

#4476
<Dreq> is there anyway to get the DOS version?
<andy> the dos version of win98?
<Dreq> yes

#210938
<ddubb> if there is no local area ID found, drop the load data.
<ddubb> or, in code form:
<ddubb> if (!getLAid()) dropLoad();
<ddubb> line 525 of software that ships tomorrow.
<ddubb> my work here is done.

#301216
<CapnStrongnose> it kills the mood when you cum in your own eye

#56747
< din> so after i get back from the boxing matches saturday
< din> stayed at my gf's place
< din> apparently i was sleepwalking
< din> last i remember is that my gf woke me up at 4am
< din> and says "You just pissed in my floor."
< din> i'm all WTF
< din> NO FSCKIN WAY
< din> i pissed just to the right of her desk, in my sleep
< din> and flushed the printer
< din> and came back to bed
Comment: sleepflushing

#70455
[krazy]: i was lost in school today
[krazy]: i couldnt find my class
[krazy]: and guess what the room # was
[dizzy]: ?
[krazy]: 404

#6011
<incarnate> hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
<incarnate> " "
<cres> i dont get it

#81636
<wasabi> 0_0
<wasabi> gonna be one fucker of a day
<jeeb> howso?
<wasabi> walked past the server room...
<wasabi> The boss was sitting in there with a box of sphagetti noodles...
<wasabi> slowly pushing one in at a time into the server fan on an old P3 system
<wasabi> giggling like a school girl while the fan made this horrendously loud, high-pitched sawing sound
<wasabi> noodle shrapnel flying back at his black suite (covered in it)
<wasabi> That's why...
<jeeb> 0_0

#311252
<xyz> sadly I'm from russia so
<BogomilP> xyz: How open minded are you?
<xyz> are you going to link me some weird tentacle porn if I say yes?
<BogomilP> No
<BogomilP> Just getting a better picture of the world
<BogomilP> I dont like stereotypes so Im looking for good modern people to reference when trying to prove to someone what the world is changing even if most people in some specific countries refuse to
<Shiz> maybe not fall into the stereotypes in the first place
<Shiz> then there's nothing to disprove!
<BogomilP> Shiz: Im not saying that I fall into the stereotyped. Its just a nice way to say to some closed minded idiotic assholes that even if they thing their breed is not a dieing kind there are people in their country that still support modern open thinking
<BogomilP> Its nice....
<BogomilP> And that progress is being made despite their biggest efforts to stop it...
<xyz> was really hoping for some weird tentacle porn to be honest

#16737
<Joelz> How good is it, when you've badly gotta take a leak....but you can't be stuffed getting up, but there is an empty coke bottle next to you and....nevermind.
<Bigchris> what happens if you have to chuck a shit?
<Joelz> That's what shoes are for.

#3737
<lonelyfig> who here can name all the punk bands that have won Grammy's?
<Lawd> u2 and umm
<Lawd> fuck thats it
<nXwetrust> u2 punk?.......
<lonelyfig> U2 = not a punk band
<Lawd> yeah they are
<blazemore> hahaha
<lonelyfig> no they arent
<Lawd> they started out as a punk band
<blazemore> michael jackson also started out as a black person
<Lawd> haha wtf :|

#6876
<Spectra> hrm.  Optus are going to start charging me >= $10 more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay more for your service".

#919
<CanuckGod> I make my mustaches from eD's pubes
<HiroHiro> eD finally got pubes?

#7683
<Spyder-> AOL also sucks
*** Carnevil_ has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Carnevil_[ACA7C955.ipt.aol.com])

#42623
< rast> whats a good free perl program for windows?
< billnyeWRK> perl program?
< rast> you know, a program that can run perl scripts
< caphuso> rast: perl is a good program to run perl scripts with...
< rast> url?
< sawtooth> no, perl ;)

#60788
<Haohmaru77> a woman enters a vibrators shop,
<Haohmaru77> and shes all excited
<Haohmaru77> so she asks the vendor
<Haohmaru77> "do you sell vibrators?"
<Haohmaru77> and the guys like "yes"
<Haohmaru77> so the girl asks
<Haohmaru77> "do you know how they work?"
<Haohmaru77> and the guys like "yes"
<ichi_nii_san> .....
<Haohmaru77> so the girl, all excited, asks
<Haohmaru77> "could you tell me how to turn it off?"

#52762
<AlexZero> ah, luckliy my ball pain has subsided
<AlexZero> I was probably just creating a super sperm

#1700
thep0et> i can pull my scrotum up to the point where it looks like a pussy

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