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#297762
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
#18681
<xxFrogxx> Today when I was at the gym, I caught this dood checking out my weiner.
<Spazmatic> Did you like it?
<xxFrogxx> It was like, I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
<OriginalWheat> Yeap, youre gay
#20007
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#57886
<Una> billions and billions of years from now, when the universe ends in the big crunch, I dont think anythings going to matter anymore
<plantlife> great pun
#25516
<kisama_> THANK YOU WIGGLY
<kisama_> I <3 YOU
<Swish> you "less than three" him?
<kisama_> please.
<kisama_> it's an emoticon...turn your head sideways kthx
<kisama_> i thought you were hardcore.
<Swish> apparently not that hardcore.
<Swish> but I guess it depends if you're left or right handed.
<kisama_> well E> is flat
<Swish> it could be a mean, hateful face with evil eyebrows...
<Swish> or it could be some broken-assed glasses with a mischevous smirk.
<kisama_> OR IT COULD BE A HEART
<kisama_> LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SEES IT AS
<kisama_> weirdo.
#3259
(acidic) i love it how my g/f calls me "fucker" with so much affection.
#38787
[@Persephone] if you are talking to some "chick" online who says she only has 3 pairs of shoes chances are its a dude
#235
<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor
#4861
<Merlin3> It was my grandmother's dying wish that I receive some dave matthews bootlegs... if you have any mp3ed (not from the 4 CDs) please msg me or just go and DCC it to me... thank you for your concern. with everyone's help, I think I will be able to make it through these difficult times.
#27212
<TripleRach> What, why do I have corn flakes on my lap
<Metro> Maybe your pants were hungry
#301446
<isaacx> im bored
<KS> Play with yourself.
<isaacx> like catch?
Comment: Matanet
#3751
<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED.
#239784
Jimmy: People like to write on the wall above the urinals ...
Jimmy: So whenever the school has their big monthly tour, they paint over it.
Jimmy: ... the morning after the tour: "FIRST!"
#9214
<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack
#74243
<Omi> My brother thought it'd be funny to take keys from my keyboard and put them around the house
<Omi> And where he hid them depended on the key, so it was relevant in some way
<Omi> So he put the 'T' in the kitchen
<Omi> The up arrow on some porn mags
<Omi> The insert key in my stash of condoms
<Omi> The 'P' key in the bathroom
<Omi> The Print Screen key beside the digital camera
<Omi> The Delete key in the bin
<Omi> And the Escape key on an old French holiday brochure
#16750
<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course"
#16251
<aba> i was just in detroit
<jasn> congratulations.
<aba> some black man next to me in his car kept flicking his nose
<aba> i rolled down my window and told him i dont have any cocaine
#32047
* gjinn[a] points to his atheist side
* EmersonOw points to his love for underaged boys
<EmersonOw> i mean my catholic side
#6662
<enrol> my new ircing technique is unstoppable
<jj> do you think youre dalnet sword can defeat me!?
<jj> en guard, ill let you try my efnet style
#18237
<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me. I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please!
#662
(|Chris) take your dick out of the port
(Chis) hey it worked!
#17975
A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch out olsen twins!
#39481
<fino> uh.. my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner today
<fino> i think that means "clean your flat, there are god damn dust bunnies everywhere"
<oLol> nah she prolly wants you to use it for masturbation purposes
#43555
<friendy> Verry: Google bought a satellite imagery company.
<dan--> Keyhole
<friendy> It's linked offa Maps now.
<friendy> Just click 'Satellite' instead of 'Map'.
<friendy> Check out how far out you can zoom.
<TedEBear-> hey! these sat images are wrong!
<TedEBear-> there's no "(c)2005 Google" in my pasture!
<TedEBear-> <grin>
<dan--> ted - have you looked in the last 24 hours?
Comment: Undernet #macintosh.
#3762
<[ric]> god, damnit... wished I had never started on that gothornot.com ... I'll never get any work done now.