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#34141
<Josh> wow. my great-grandmother died :(
<serenade> sry
<serenade> feel better u
<Josh> well, on one hand I'm sad that she died
<Josh> on the other hand she was a total bitch that alienated the entire family and caused untold amounts of greif
<serenade> ah
<serenade> similar situation with my great grandma
<serenade> we wanted to speed things up, so we got her to start smoking
<serenade> she used to light the cigs backwards
<serenade> funny as hell
#25205
<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a webcam and have to be naked
#8226
(@T-56): anyone up for some drunken baseball fun next weekend?
(+de-v1): baseball?
(+de-v1): k before i just THOUGHT you were gay
(+de-v1): now i know for sure
(+de-v1): :P
(@T-56): steph: ok, scratch baseball, how about water polo
(+de-v1): you just want to be in a pool with 20 guys in speedos are trying to grab balls
#60376
<@timmo> "Adventurer" (in video games) is a euphemism for "Violent kleptomaniac"
#13973
<Zack`> I wore my boxers backwards all day yesterday
<shea_> haha
<Zack`> And I didn't realize it until I scratched my ass
<Zack`> And my hand went through the slot and made contact with my crack
<Zack`> And I was like WTF
#18309
<Ferncraft3> !plist
-ChanServ- #warcraft3 peons:
-ChanServ- None.
<Ferncraft3> this is a warcraft channel and we don't have peons?
#23404
<D>: ill murder you good >:o
<k33bz> not if u can't get to me!
<k33bz> jerkzilla!
<D>: when i go visit you >:o
<k33bz> like hell u will
<D>: fine i wont go visit you then
<k33bz> yes u will
<k33bz> but the joy of here will keep u docile
<k33bz> then halfway home when u go over the border u'll be like, "FUCK >< forgot to murder k33bz"
<k33bz> hah!
<k33bz> and that's the story of how christmas was saved
#61068
Ryan: Whats a good lie to fill some hours in? I have a day with nothing. lol
Andrew: uh.. something with orcs?
Ryan: lol, that would be telling the truth.
Andrew: thats sad
Ryan: I was playing WoW
#7103
<Rain|BW> sbot jesus
<Sbot> Jesus Saves! But Gretzky Rebounds, He Shoots, He Scores!
<Rain|BW> tee-hee-hee
<CrashCat> jesus saves souls and redeems them for valuable prizes at the ticket counter
<gegi> Jesus saves, the rest of you take 5d20 damage.
#309228
<arieldanielle> There's an apartment complex in which a dead girl was found recently
<arieldanielle> Now they have a sign outside advertising "killer leasing specials"
#18429
<hadeZ> you live on your own right?
...
<hadeZ> but basically you pay with yourself
<hadeZ> for yourself rather
<Fembot> you said PAY, right?
#38705
* chupachipmunk touches his heart... area
* TallestSilver tries to touch her heart area, but smacks her boob instead
<TallestSilver> Ow....
<chupachipmunk> Hah
* chupachipmunk can touch his chest without hitting boob
<TallestSilver> FUCKIN' BOOBS! I'LL TEACH YOU TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!
* TallestSilver slices off her breasts with a rusty dagger and tosses them away
* chupachipmunk hand Silver some hydrogen peroxide
<Lucifer> yknow, that reminds me of something...
<Lucifer> you've all heard of the Amazons, right?
<chupachipmunk> They are the ancient all-female race who patented one click shopping
#302082
<Kolin> just googled myself and my dad no longer comes before me
<rye`sky> it's more romantic if you come at the same time
<Kolin> thats sick
#1337
<Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google turns up my own page at the top of the list.
<Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go looking for stuff.
#48288
<Sargasm> It must be a bitch to write your name in the snow in Arabic
#8919
* zebra does the menstrual blood dance
<Slvrchair> zebra: your dances scare me.
<zebra> You should see them in person.
<zebra> It could be worse.
<zebra> I could give you the menstrual blood lapdance :P
<Slvrchair> ew, no :P
#33116
<delmore> i just fucked a chick i know,she squirted in my face, he he, how cool is that?
<@Manyiu> you didnt leave this chan for the last two hours
<@Manyiu> and you werent idle for a min
<@_razor_> so you were fucking her and typing on irc?
<delmore> nah, i was typing when she was sucking me off
<@UncleMart> Laptops are good for that, get the girl in doggy and place it on her ass so you can fuck and be on IRC at the same time
<@Manyiu> this makes this story of yours far less plausible than the drug one
<@_razor_> lolol
#50549
<Hrun> how would a core dump feel?
<rockot> pretty good especially after a big breakfast
Comment: #sdl on irc.freenode.net
#103645
<magnum12> I do have a hypothesis as to the origins of the werewolf myth. Its an interesting theory.
<magnum12> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of rabies.
<TheCowch> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of furries.
#10914
<Random> "Mosh pit. Well-concealed tazer. Hours of endless entertainment."
#28927
<[Knob]> So anyway, I was in this pub yesterday night, and there was music playing. So my friend suddenly says to me "This is good music to jerk off to" I'm like "What the fuck?" and he goes "Yeah, doesn't everyone have a song that they jerk off to?" - And while he said that, the music was turned off and he screamed it throughout the entire pub. Everyone was looking mighty strange at me...
#8706
<tom_> i heard that if you walk into a fridge and close the door you cant get out again
<tom_> im sure if i got stuck in a fridge i could get out
<tom_> im gonna fuckin try it
#51383
<[Fek]Dragon> go ahead try 2 hack my box i been using linux for 4 years
<[Fek]Dragon> i can hack u with the linux tools right back tho and u can do nuthing
<[PRIEST]> I'm scared, truly.
<[Fek]Dragon> just so u know i have gained access to ur box and am lookin at ur stuff
<[Fek]Dragon> u have alot of stolen music
<[PRIEST]> How did you gain access to my system?
<[Fek]Dragon> i told u i use linux to hack u windows faggets
....
[[Fek]Dragon VERSION reply]: mIRC v6.16 Khaled Mardam-Bey
<[PRIEST]> So I see here from this homework folder your name is Kevin Kowalzyk
<[Fek]Dragon> fuk u im goin to call the fbi
* [Fek]Dragon has quit IRC (Quit:)
Comment: One of the other channel lurkers caught his name earlier.
#12407
<Ixnorp[Regenerating]> I think I've found an excellent unit of size measurement. It's the 'I could kill you and hide your body in it' unit. People usually become very quiet after you say, "yea, I could kill you and 3 other people and hide the bodies in this"
#210672
-> From Ultor, to House:
- a friend back at RPI built a "headache generator". He read that the resonant
- frequency of sinus cavities is in the mid-30KHz range and built an oscillator
- to produce that and put it in the heat vents going to the upstairs
- apartment where they were prone to play really loud thumpa-thumpa music.