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#15074
<Bryan> I need to find some vanilla cock to drink...
#53482
<@FireAngel> So, are we meeting tonight?
<%g4ngst4> yeah ;]
<%g4ngst4> i'll give you somethin all your ex bfs didn't.. ;]
<@FireAngel> A STD?
#29915
* dark_gift strikes george michael pose again
<Sutekh> dg, you have a perfectly round bottom!
<Sutekh> scientists calibrate their instruments with it!
#29536
(Zero-Dai): lol.. IRC sex gods
(Zero-Dai): what an oxymoron
Comment: #hyperactive austnet.org
#78388
<ed> customer: "i have a pentium 4-R CPU, is that a good CPU?"
<ed> me: 'sir, there's no such thing as a pentium 4-R.'
<ed> customer: "so you mean you don't know about the pentium 4-R."
<ed> me: 'i mean that the pentium 4-R does not exist.'
<ed> customer: "dude, don't try to belittle me, i know more than you. i have one, i know it exists, i just wanted to know if it was a good CPU or not."
<ed> me: 'sir, with all due respect, intel introducing a "pentium-4-r" should have made enough of a splash in the industry for me to notice.'
<ed> finally he gets me to pull out a CPU to show me
<ed> on the chip engraving, it says:
<ed> PENTIUM (R) 4
<ed> he goes: "SEE! PENTIUM 4 R!!!"
<ed> me: ....
#34181
<Paradidle> I wonder what a dog thinks right before it humps someones leg... "I dont know what it is, but I'm gonna fuck it."
#29241
<jjfate> does forking come after spooning?
<Swoozy> No, forking comes before spooning
<Swoozy> You don't have energy to do anything but spoon after fork
<Odat> if you want to fork more than once you quickly learn how neccesary spoons are
<Odat> if you go too long forking without spooning, the woman is liable to work a knife on you
#15511
<sex_e_chick> where do you work??
<Predddan> at work
#150316
<Jackal>: So I went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, he went inside and came out with a sandwich bag...... note to self new best friend.
#7936
*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)
#2325
<Amanda`> We ran out of toilet paper so I had to use coffee filters...
#72500
<Tim> FFS, why did they give me an antidepressant that is also used for treating premature ejaculation >_< masturbating for ten minutes is no fun at all.
#28693
<kisama2> what's up with friendster
<kisama2> why am i getting messages
<kisama2> i thought my profile clearly states that i hate people
#306373
Judith: I sleep face down because my nose gets cold.
You: So you can't breathe, but at least your nose is warm.
Judtih: NO, it's like swimming. You tilt your head when you want to breathe.
#302269
Vasir: there was an evil dick staring at me all day
Mel: O_O WTF.. um are you okay?
Vasir: yeah i'm fine. it was starring me down through the windows all day though. i'm pretty sure it had malicious intent
Mel: Are you okay?
Vasir: yes.
*10 minutes or so pass*
Vasir: you know Mel, we never talk much anymore...
Mel: I know, but Vasir, why are you talking about dicks?
Vasir: I'm not?
Vasir: OH FUCK. I meant DUCK! AN EVIL DUCK WAS STARRING AT ME! NOT AN EVIL DICK!
#7291
<Iced> the IDE cable from the COM2 to the port is fsked
<Iced> it must be that
<NepCHooN> ide cable?
<NepCHooN> your com2 hooks into your hard drive?
<NepCHooN> i ph33r your pc!!
#51190
<RPharazon> I was reading a rather nice article about suicide, and what the consequences were.
<GoneWacko> Well, generally, you die.
#10809
<Leb> I'VE BLOODY WELL FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAD INTENDED TO DO
<Leb> though i have a sneaking suspicion that it involves an immense iron penis
#39526
< The_Q> su - 9070b574c12
< The_Q> aww man. ignore that -- it's not my root password!!!!!
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx] has quit ["0wned"]
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx has joined #channel]
< The_Q> Hey, wtf happened to my box?!?!
#23831
<|404notfound> Kazaa is like playing Russian roulette, only with porn instead of bullets.
#44411
scanty@SPARC: i had a hard time finding a mother's day card.
scanty@SPARC: since they don't make any for dysfunctional families.
helf: lol
aGNUstic: heh
scanty@SPARC: I find the perfect card.
scanty@SPARC: then open it.
scanty@SPARC: and it says some sh*t like "I love you*
#138502
<redribben> what you guys up to?
<redribben> i myself am trying to find something that seems to not exist....
<reikon> god?
#7931
<SPACEBOY|GTA3> when the pain stops... thats when you know you've kicked the bucket
<nuggetman> i just read the obituaries to make sure i'm not there
#37732
<danny> How do u get rid of e-mail
<Plog> ...
<Plog> Delete it?
<danny> how
<Plog> Click delete.
<danny> where
<Plog> ...
#307624
<Jargon> We don't HAVE BEer pong here in Belgium
<Jargon> The idea that you can somehow "Win" at drinking is purely an American thing
<Quantum_Meddler> So you don't have drinking games there?
<Jargon> no
<Jargon> well
<Jargon> actually yes
<Jargon> there is one
<Jargon> You may have heard of it
<Jargon> It's called "going out and getting laid"