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#37685
VJC99: so paris hilton is releasing an album
VJC99: a musical album
VJC99: because record companies are that fucking pathetic
ingannilo: should be interesting
ingannilo: I liked her last video
#16489
<zamros> WHEN I WAS LIKE SEVEN I SAW A CAR GET RUN OVER BY A CAR
<zamros> MY FIRST CAR ACCIDENT WITNESSING
<zamros> AND/OR MONSTER TRUCK RALLY
#28448
<]|-|[> that was not sarcasm
<]|-|[> I can do better sarcasm
<CommaToes> sure you can
<]|-|[> You suck at sarcasm as well, CommaToes
<CommaToes> sure I do
<]|-|[> Shut up!
<CommaToes> that's gonna happen
#304873
<Jake|E5400> There's spaghetti in the southbridge
<Jake|E5400> and steak on my CD
<Jake|E5400> I kid you not
<Jake|E5400> I just dropped a steak on my XP install disk
<~tidux> lol
* Jake|E5400 wipes it off
<ll_TankPad> Windows XP Medium Rare Edition
Comment: #wtfpwnt on irc.rubbermallet.org
#37702
<@Valkarious> OMFG
<@Valkarious> I'm talking to this girl on the phone
<@Valkarious> and all of a sudden this Flash porno ad comes up outta no where
<@Valkarious> "Unnnhhh Mmmmm Oh yeah, baby, pound that sweet pussy"
<@Valkarious> OMFG
<@aGeNt_tHuMb[56k4life]> ROFL
<@aGeNt_tHuMb[56k4life]> she'd be like wtf ...
<@aGeNt_tHuMb[56k4life]> sad cunt ...
<@Valkarious> Well, normally I can talk my way out of things real fast
<@Valkarious> This time.... i dunno
<@Valkarious> "Uhhh OH SHIT... That's my parents"
#39677
* Aero says your mom is like a shotgun Monte_Kano; one cock and she's ready to blow.
<Monte_Kano> i wish my mom was a shotgun
<ModdedCyborg> OH DEAR GOD
#21579
* typeoghoul MY INTERNET KID GOT A 1200 ON HER SAT"S
<Predddan> internetkid?
<typeoghoul> yes
<Predddan> like a tamagotchi?
<typeoghoul> human
<Predddan> like a human tamagotchi u control over the internet?
<Predddan> kewl..
#7535
<orb06> something red and semi-opaque
<orb06> said it was "stool softener"
<orb06> Im like wtf
<orb06> I like my stool hard, ma'am
<orb06> and left without it
<orb06> no pain no gain
<orb06> thats what I say
#239876
< Tyr> wow... epic story from my boss
< Tyr> so, i sent him an email letting him know i'm selling a laptop to see if the company might want to buy it
< Tyr> or if he might know anyone else
< Tyr> turns out he does
< Tyr> see, he has this friend that's notorious for sleepwalking and peeing in random places
< Tyr> he apparently got up and peed on his laptop this weekend
< loodWork> I guess when he woke up...
< loodWork> *puts on sunglasses* ...he was really pissed off...
< loodWork> YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
#295036
<ExZippo> what the FUCK
<ExZippo> i found my "secret santa" end of radio school gift, still wrapped
<ExZippo> i think I missed a chance with kendall o_O
<ExZippo> "Purple Ronnie's Little Kama Sutra" book
<ExZippo> with "text me sometime if you need a hand with any of them" written on the inside cover
<ExZippo> o___________O
<ExZippo> fuck
<ExZippo> 4 years too late on that one
#25641
<J{E}K> What is the best song of NIN?
<uidv6> ALL THE SILENT TRACKS ON BROKEN
#8259
<akumapan> yous ound like poopoo
<andy> You type like poop.
<andy> and your mother was suspicious that it took her nine whole months to take a crap, so she named it just in case.
#28711
<_Zippo_> I really REALLY wish my mother would stop saying "Woot" on ICQ. :(
#4384
<@JP> before i saw miss cleo's commercial, i didn't know there was a "you are attracted to a large-breasted female co-worker" card in the tarot deck.
#305889
Jello_Raptor converts RebeccaRGB to a more print frindly color system
=-= RebeccaRGB is now known as RebeccaCMYK
#117880
<Jesse_> i had a dream that it was Ninja Day
<Jesse_> and google was totally celebrating it
<Jesse_> they didn't just change their logo -- they changed their page background to black too, and handed out Ninja Day shirts to as many tech people as they could find
<ct^> Oh that would rock.
<ct^> Quick, email them.
#38848
<remisser> Man... I really have to walk in to Condomworld and see what kind of people work there.
<comet_11> they're probably dicks
#1584
<Godzi||a> I would suck my own dick too if I could.
<Chrononaut> "you're only gay if you swallow"
<Invictus[A]> you're a fag for even thinkin' about it
#41475
<Re2k4> wonder how many of those dumbass drug dealers have traded dope for blowjobs from him
<Mike_3486> gah
<Mike_3486> I'm trying to eat a cadbury egg here
<Mike_3486> Dont talk about tranny BJs
<Re2k4> does it have the usual come-like filling?
<Mike_3486> yes
<Re2k4> ok. carry on.
<Mike_3486> i hate you
#58994
<rm-fr> jesus fuck, my ass has been like Celine Dion's mouth all damn day
<DesScorp> wrapped around her husband's cock?
<Verjigorm> Sitting beneath an ENORMOUS nose?
<rm-fr> randomly spewing out copious amounts of crap
<rm-fr> I'm not sure I care for the implications of either of your answers
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#53935
helf: rofl
helf: apples closing stock price today was 80.86
helf: LOL
JonathanThompson: Now *that's* irony of the finest kind :)
Comment: today they announced the new x86 macs.
#309763
< NDJ> Oh God how did I even do this,
< NDJ> My Windows partition is now ext4
< NDJ> Shit
Comment: #linux on a small network
#55633
<@DarkElf> hell of a way to spend valentines day, watching a girl having an orgasm while learning to ride a horse (no, its not farm erotica) and doing statistics
<@DarkElf> can you tell i need a girlfriend
<@momo_the_terrible> that's a neat trick
<@momo_the_terrible> simultaneously watching a girl have an orgasm and studying stats
<@momo_the_terrible> wish I had that talent back in school :)
<@DarkElf> multitasking is great nowadays
Comment: irc.bunker7.net
#35000
<HowlinMadMurphy> And.. AcidRain.. Man, life's pretty sad when all your good memories are of the internet.
<znutar> hahaha
<NOOU|Sleep> Not really.
<NOOU|Sleep> Almost all my memories are on the internet.
<NOOU|Sleep> ...
<NOOU|Sleep> Holy fuck that's depressing.
Comment: Discussing old times.
#300150
<kiwi_> How come when your wifes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say congratulations! But none of them rub your cock and say well done?
<Artifice> By extension, it would be your GUY friends rubbing your johnson