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#297876
<@Sebas> The only reason the French started a civil war was so that they could win for once
#136601
<oxide> i took 3 benadryls slammed 4 beers
<oxide> im feeling pretty good
<drseuss> oxide are you alergic to beer?
#1745
(nexxai) [poopfart]: can you fart and poo at the same time?
(poopfart) yes
(poopfart) i can
(poopfart) their called accidents
#266625
kwenda: this lady who works here is so disgusting
kwenda: fat and ugly
kwenda: she rubbed my hair in the middle of a meeting
kwenda: i stood up and left the meeting without saying anything
kwenda: went to supercuts and got a shampoo and a haircut
kwenda: walked back into the meeting and sat down
#6930
<psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"
#218444
<Laxos> I used to work in a musical instrument chain store.
<Laxos> (We specialised in guitars and basses)
<Laxos> There was a guy who worked with me, kinda a geek like me.
<Laxos> After a few months of low sales the business failed.
<Laxos> Half the stores were bought by one firm, and half by another.
<Laxos> Both of them offered to take on all the existing staff, if we wanted it.
<Laxos> I ended up going to one firm, and this other guy went to another.
<Laxos> Somehow, we ended up getting rights to nearly all the existing stock.
<Laxos> Bit of a 'fuck you' to the other firm, really.
<Laxos> When we were putting these basses in the van, I go over to the guy and I'm like 'hey, all your bass are belo--'
<Laxos> I stopped because the guy shot me a look that could have killed a small animal.
#14351
<malcolm> I would appreciate it more if I didn't have to set JAVA_HOME and ANT_HOME and HILL_DEPTH and AVERAGE_LIFESPAN_OF_INSECT and NUMBER_OF_LEGS and DIRECTION_OF_PREVAILING_WIND and BIRTHDAY
#33338
<DimaV> aight, i am gonna go think about what i did wrong today
*** DimaV is now known as DimaV_bathroom
#10236
<etch:#unix> i don't like unix or any of you either
#32397
<XanK> whatever, looking leads dreaming, dreaming leads to touching, touching leads to ass sex...
#62544
<bizzy> hep which wacom tablet should i get
<bizzy> alternately do you have one to give me
<hep> the biggest one
<acidjazz> hep waddya use it for?
<hep> everything
<bizzy> ok so its like dildo shopping
<bizzy> now i got it
Comment: #bantown
#301176
<Mike_W> my toilet is having issues, evidently i've been blaming my cat for pissing in the basement by error
<Mike_W> when my toilet is flushed, my furnace in the basement gets a golden shower
<Worf> and then the furnace turns on and the smell propagates throughout the house
<Mike_W> it's not a _lot_ an ounce out of a gallon
<Mike_W> but over time that's been the cause of this issue i've been near ready to get rid of my cat over
<Mike_W> and enough to rust out the top of the furnace ductwork
<Mike_W> I found the issue today when i was rebooting the terrastation after the power outage and mary was upstairs. she flushed the toilet, I got wet (terrastation is next to furnace)
<Mike_W> it doesn't propagate through the house thankfully, it's just in the basement area
<Mike_W> i've been trying to find where the cat was pissing for a month
<Mike_W> turns out it's been me all along...sigh
#300258
< fahadsadah> Something tells me exec("echo C code goes here | gcc"); isn't a good Java practise.
#48892
storm-shadow: damn it!!
storm-shadow: my computer has got some huge cock problems!
storm-shadow: not a regular problem... not even a big problem... no, that would be too weak a wording.
storm-shadow: this is a huge cock problem!
storm-shadow: when i open firefox, my comp freezes up for about thirty seconds.
storm-shadow: won't respond at all. i hit start, nothing. ctrl + alt + del, nothing.
storm-shadow: then thirty seconds later, all that shit starts popping up on me.
storm-shadow: that, by definition, is a huge cock problem.
snake-eyes: that is weird
snake-eyes: not your computer freezing, that's fairly common
snake-eyes: but, your choice of words does indeed frighten me
#34693
<Fragas> did u have fun at the deb party mr hinton?
<Hinton> yer
<Hinton> the afterparty was shit tho
<Hinton> a bunch of greasy wogs playing doof doof till 5am
<Fragas> lol.......maybe im naive, but whats doof doof?
<Hinton> techno
<Fragas> oh......ooooooooooh
<Fragas> i thought it was a sex game
#2757
*** Now talking in #honda
*** Topic is '<xessor> anyone know how to make fire come out the tailpipe?'
#301752
<Flickerdart> See, Russian doesn't have an X. It uses ks instead.
<Flickerdart> It saves room in the alphabet for more useful letters.
<Flickerdart> Like 3.
#7511
<orb2k> raves are just an excuse
<jovana> for what?
<orb2k> for grinding my teeth and petting everything
#1605
<tgpretend> MICROSOFT BRAIN DRAIN CONTINUES. Fourteen-year
<tgpretend> vet. Paul Maritz resigns.
<tgpretend> how can he be an m$ veterna if he's only 14?
#307294
M4arin: brb
Rwa: again?
Rwa: you need to start telling me what you're ditching me for, i'm bored.
Rwa: or maybe, you're not afk at all. you're probably sitting there, in front of your computer, getting annoyed by the new-message-on-steam sound as you try to focus on whatever porn you're watching and jacking off to?
M4arin: fuck you
M4arin is now Offline.
#29664
<sendai> where the heck do you find a 6litre bottle of coke
<sendai> ah...
<sendai> tis a 2l bottle
<sendai> dana photoshopped it to say 6l :p
<danamania> tis tis
<Kreator> same place you get those giant novelty bears from
<danamania> photoshop has giant novelty bears?
<goodby> yes!
<goodby> Filter -> Other -> Giant Novelty Bears
#13483
<DjLizard> click HERE for free Chocobo porn.
<DET> all I got was channel info
<DjLizard> :D
<DjLizard> well, click here for free channel info.
#28415
[1:24am] <help> my server is down
[1:24am] <help> username root
[1:24am] <help> passowrd:
[1:25am] <help> sad3@swd
[1:25am] <help> ip address;
[1:25am] <+RS-BrianV> help: stop there
[1:25am] <help> 207.
[1:25am] <help> me?
#60282
Kodan882: Once a long time ago, I was listening to a talk radio show.
Kodan882: THey werre talking about motorcycles, and a guy called in and screamed "PENIS!" and then hung up.
DragonOfLight121: ...
DragonOfLight121: LOL
Kodan882: The guys at the station were silent
Kodan882: Though, you could hear laughter in the background
DragonOfLight121: xD
#15434
<juji> but i'd have to learn japanese to play half of its games :)
<z2-Fool> you don't speak japanese?
<z2-Fool> and you're a slope?
<z2-Fool> :)
<juji> :(
<juji> i'd cry
<juji> but i cant fit tears through my chinky eyeslits