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#295
<ikkenai> What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
<TheFlux> not an oil based one
<TheFlux> it may catch fire
#558
<@xvize> xwin is like an os
#25132
*** _Kenny (kenny@md4690fc1.utfors.se) has left #cracking4newbies
*** _Kenny (kenny@md4690fc1.utfors.se) has joined #cracking4newbies
<_Kenny> who kicked me
#5073
<langdon> win2k is tight.
<langdon> i added all my warez ftp sites to network neighborhood
#10811
<MadMax> I'm going to buy myself another 6 80GB Seagate Barracuda IV's :D
<MadMax> That way, I can set up a 1/2 Terrabyte array
<MadMax> Wouldn't that be incredibly cool?!
* Altariel looks at MadMax and shakes her head
<Altariel> thats a penis thing, isnt it.
#48005
<fittysix> elmo, if the internet were a city there'd be a resturaunt everyone reccomends, but when you walk in you see a gaping anus
Comment: #genmay on irc.0id.net
#3240
* RatWork hands Matt^^^ the cluephone
(RatWork) it's for you
#7931
<SPACEBOY|GTA3> when the pain stops... thats when you know you've kicked the bucket
<nuggetman> i just read the obituaries to make sure i'm not there
#8612
<zealot_> gopher is the protocol of the future
#10462
<jej> if you dated me, you would've recognized me, and stopped talking to
me by now.
#55997
<Porque> So, per usual, my town is filled with rednecks.
<Porque> Needless to say, this makes the day more interesting when there's a dead deer in the middle of the road.
<Porque> Since there's such little traffic going through here every day, a deer died in the middle of the road. The bus driver pulls over by it, and I'm sitting there going "wtf are you waiting for, move the damn carcass".
<Porque> So we end up waiting for about a minute. I'm still sitting there, stunned by the stupidity, when this redneck BLAZES down the street in his truck, stopping on a dime right by us. The guy hops out with a chainsaw, revs it. HE SAWS THE HORNS OFF OF THE DEER AND LEAVES THE BODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
<Porque> Turns out someone on the bus called the guy on a cellphone and let him know.
#27200
<ecchi-oni-misha132> i watched legally blonde 1 in the hospital
<Frostbiteh2o> heh
<Frostbiteh2o> how was it?
<ecchi-oni-misha132> found it mildly amusing with the help of opiats
#54161
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU
#285
<BlackDeth> that was the night those gay dudes were hittin on me
<BlackDeth> and the one offered me money to go sex0r him
<BlackDeth> they prolly saw i was wrecked
<BlackDeth> and thought they could take advantage
<BlackDeth> boglins own
<ikkenai> so how much did he pay you
<BlackDeth> he didnt
<BlackDeth> he just offered
<ikkenai> oh
<ikkenai> so you did it for free
#714
<Hatter> I know it's up for me!
<Hatter> take it etherman!~
<notgoth> if you steal my sunshine!
<Hatter> I SAID etherman
* notgoth steals etherman's sunshine :D
<EtherMan> :(
* EtherMan no sunshine
<notgoth> fine, you can have it back :D
* EtherMan sunshine!
<Hatter> Alright, now that's just gay.
#20513
(`dM`): I took a girl on a date to a lan party.. she seemed throughly bored
(DaMuppet): lol
(doggie^): hahaha
(DaMuppet): omfg dM
(DaMuppet): you;re joking
(DaMuppet): pls tell me u r
(`dM`): no. = I'm not joking. it was an impromptu lan party. and then the guys started trading porn
(`dM`): it was downhill from there
#8289
<Vegeta> I would go through anything for you
<Vegeta> Lets start with your bank account
#208710
<mindjob> im not talking about going to dinner with her and sharing a lovely conversation over tea
<mindjob> i'm talking about banging the living crap out of her
<mindjob> and making her asshole the size of a soup can
<mindjob> and then sending her away
<mindjob> far far away
<zaim> what kind of soup
<mindjob> chicken noodle
<mindjob> of course
<zaim> wise choice
#44435
* Neitokun wanders around looking for something to do * maybe i'll just go into the *gasp* real world... <<
<Neitokun> nevermind, theres a new story coming up on slashdot.
<Neitokun> ... >< did i seriously just say that?
<Doc_Shinryuu> Yes, you did. :D
<Neitokun> damnit.
#26291
<Rodney> damn mom still on ebay
<territory> lol
<territory> ur selling ur mom?
#145699
Jacob: heh
Jacob: my roommate just walked by with a bottle of water
Jacob: I asked her why she wastes her money on that shit
Jacob: she replied with "It's healthier than tap water."
Jacob: I took the bottle from her and showed her where it said "Source: City of Houston Municipal Water Supply"
Jacob: Tap-water.
#14239
*** Quits: cuebal (Most parents would hope that that their offspring yearn to become doctors, lawyers, or even a journalist, but these days all kids want to be is Pikachu..)
#50251
<Evil_Timmy> wow, just realized that the last couple of people ive slept with have been people i met on irc
<Evil_Timmy> i'm a netrosexual
#55926
<eTombotron> i mean, i hope you realize what's going on here.
<SquidDNA> what's going on here, eTom?
<eTombotron> i'm not sure.
#8123
<arturo-pain-afk> what makes you think it is?
* Sphinx45 points to the door.
<Sphinx45> the sign says so!
<arturo-pain-afk> what sign?
<arturo-pain-afk> theres no sign
* Nelyx adjusts the "Number of Days without having to deal with an Idiot!" sign, so that it now reads 0