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#7429
<@a> i should get "butt plug" tattooed on my cock
#42161
<masteralpher> I WILL RAPE YOUR ANOS FAT BITCH
<masteralpher> STOP IMING ME
<arahi`jr> and cut
<arahi`jr> ok lets go back over that
<arahi`jr> this time spell anus right
<arahi`jr> and action
<masteralpher> send me your pic and i wont to rape your anus then
<arahi`jr> ok cut. brilliant, this time with a little more emotion. maybe all caps again, go back to that. that was working.
<arahi`jr> and roll film
<arahi`jr> action
#49631
<insaneidiot> does ripping a dvd cause any phyiscal damage to the dvd?
<insaneidiot> ex. scratching
<Eric> ...
Comment: irc.halomessenger.org #HM
#12343
<McMoo> i think there's a vacuum cleaner thief in the neighborshood
<McMoo> i wake up to a knocking on the door
<McMoo> some aZn woman is there
<McMoo> 'hi, i live down in 114. do you by any chance have a vacuum i could borrow?'
<McMoo> i'm not even sure there is a 114 in our building
<McMoo> and she's been vacuuming for a while now.
#16042
<abort416> wow i hope u all send the record companies money or something cuz its illegal to pirate music and movies and tv shows and such
#56933
<AaA> last year when i was working as a day laborer after i got laid off from my other job, i was hired by a contractor to expand a deck for this couple
<AaA> it was going to be expanded out to the son's old room on the second floor, and so they also wanted the walls of the room ripped out
<AaA> so i grabbed a sledgehammer and began pounding out the walls around the closet, and i lost my grip and it fell out of my hand
<AaA> the hammer hits the floor, and about a quarter of the flooring in the closet gives way and i fall through and crash down onto the dining room table, which had dishes and stuff on it, i got cut up pretty good
<AaA> the owners ran inside to find me on the crushed table.
<AaA> it was then they mentioned that their son had a habit of pissing in the closet during the night.
<AaA> :/
#6954
<glasnost> i just talked to some girls on this hall.
<glasnost> they're like, female and stuff.
#66705
<Sean`Macmillan> In a consulting firm I worked for, they abbreviated "analysis" as "anal."
<Sean`Macmillan> So after a school survey was done, one of the items on the agenda was "School visits and follow-up anal."
#69572
<Apollo> FUCK!
<Apollo> god damnit, I just copied an entire directory by accident. christ, I hate linux >:(
<Apollo> *sigh* brb, reformatting AGAIN
<Trinexx> wait, why are you reformatting? O_o
<Apollo> oh, i havent figured out how to delete files in linux yet, so I just reformat the harddrive when I need to delete something
<Trinexx> you serious? XD
<Apollo> bbiab.
<Trinexx> just use "rm <filename>" you fucking idiot
** Signoff: Apollo (Quit: Reformatting, AGAIN)
<Trinexx> ... or not :/
#13404
<@rtav> CaptainX, It is considered outdated and sexist to refer to your barbecue with "her"
<@rtav> CaptainX, Unless it is an erotic barbecue with the erotic feature set of a woman.
<@rtav> Then I propose that you are confusing a hooker with a barbecue.
<@rtav> To determine once and for all whether you are dealing with a barecue or a hooker, simply light it on fire.
<@rtav> If it runs, you are dealing with a hooker.
<@rtav> If it does not, you are either dealing with a barbecue or a dead hooker.
#3913
<ScumDog> Mexicans rock because down in Mexico they're too poor to update any of the arcade games
<ScumDog> so all the players rock at games on 12-year-old hardware
<ScumDog> not surprisingly, there's also a large concentration of Double Dragon champions there
#307670
< Novice> It's not a computer anymore. It's a member of Norton's botnet.
#6664
<qik> ur at school?
<De-Gen> yer
<qik> LOOK TEACHER IT SAYS CUNT ON THE SCREEN!
*** De-Gen has quit IRC
#74351
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"
#39108
* Uziel calls in the goats to feed on their corpses. =D
arcane: mmmm goats
* Vukk shoots the goats and has a feast
Uziel: DAMN YOU GOAT SLAUGHTERING SON OF A BITCH.
Uziel: I will summon forth the corpses of your female ancestors and chain you to their bones.
Uziel: forcing you to drink goat blood by the gallon from their rotten not-really-existent cunts
Uziel: while I scatter the ashes of the goats you have killed
Uziel: over your naked, helpless body, as it's whipped, lashed, and beaten bloody
Uziel: sending the pain of those goats you have disgraced, down your spine.
* Orionis slaps Vukk around with Windows Me
* Orionis threatens Uziel with the Windows ME
* Uziel bows
Uziel: Hails to thee who makes the true definition of pain abundant in our knowledge. =X
arcane: hail!
#8458
<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey, Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO'
<Mousey> why am i first
<Mousey> thats really insulting
<vas-deferens> because your the best at iut
<mk4> why am i second ?
<vas-deferens> shit im third
<vas-deferens> i better work on my technique
<vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick
<Mousey> hahahah
#49414
Wildfire: im going to have wet dreams about a big red ox tonight
Daemonus: .......what
Wildfire: box
Wildfire: BOX
Comment: Reasons not to brag about your new PC case
#114149
<rabidmoth> When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
#307637
<Knack> i've just had someone from newcastle trying to say 8 A A over the phone
<Knack> took about 5 attempts until i understood him
<ZoFreX> eight alpha alpha
<ZoFreX> what's the problem :P
<retrominge> Knack: eeeet, eeeee, eeeee?
<retrominge> :D
<Knack> sounded like he was saying hay hay hay
Comment: #reddit-uk
#53098
<zmeiat_joro> soo..is it dangerous to use audioscrobbler/last/fm if you listen to a few things you haven't actually bought
<orospakr> nah
<orospakr> I doubt it
<shen> it is!
<orospakr> is it?
<shen> I tried using audioscrobbler with some songs that I downloaded
<shen> and I fell down the stairs.
#25137
<Dawai> i feel like fucking my gf in the ass real hard
<Dawai> the only problem is she dumped me some time ago
#11874
<GIJosh> do you still have an MP3 server robin?
<robin> yes
<GIJosh> same place as before?
<robin> nope
<GIJosh> where is it?
<robin> 127.0.0.1
<GIJosh> cant connect
<GIJosh> default port?
#20825
<noodle> i think one of my nuts got twisted in my sac today
<noodle> i would start untwisting it, but i dont know which way its twisted, so i dont want to twist it more on accident
<TremoR> that hurts just thinking about it
<noodle> ooohhh shit that was definitely the wrong way, ow
#1734
::: .signoff@2.59p> Townshend (wang@cb31185-c.rmdws1.il.home.com); Geek used to be a 4-letter word; now it's a 6-figure one.
#47129
<GenericLoser> We had to make up traffic signs in driver ed.
<GenericLoser> Some guy made a house shaped sign that said "Yo Momma's House Ahead".