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#30410
<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH
#4733
<Guilty> Jees its going to be 48 tomorrow
<Guilty> I thought I was done with waring a jacket
<Guilty> But apparently not
<maff> you go outside?
#4077
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah
#28981
<bailey> nice, i emailed a guy about his ebay auction asking if the soundcard he's selling works and comes with drivers
<bailey> and he replied "please do not bid on this item"
#2085
[rancid_mf] wow i need to be a better typer i dont know what is going on
(|Chris) typist*
[rancid_mf] ok im am idiot too
#6980
<chococat44> you just cant keep a good man down
<greg> Conversly, you can't keep a bad man up.
#14583
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming
#16161
*headache throws mrfloppy__ a beer
<mrfloppy__> weeeeee, free beer
<nyk> watch it mate, you can get real pissed on that cyber beer
#32495
<VariQuiz> fuckers
* VariQuiz is now known as Varitek
<somniloquy> arsemunch
<dionysian> dicklick
<Varitek> cuntbreaths
<dionysian> testicularwaste
<somniloquy> goatrimmer
<Varitek> fucknuggets
<dionysian> analclenches
<somniloquy> wankstaves
<arch-w0kr> kakwheels
<dionysian> pubiczirconia
<Varitek> chuffchuggers
<somniloquy> jizzguzzlingbitchwhores
<arch-w0kr> chodegobblers
<Varitek> jismlickers
<Varitek> I must admit, I like 'pubiczirconia'
<dionysian> Varitek, you would like pubiczirconia
#44738
<Perplexed> Brit, finish JR High and get back to us
<brittlala> ive finnished jr high. notice how finnished is spelled with 2 ns, ass gobbler
#38995
<Char> I used to be pretty dumb with computers. But then I found out you can get porn on them. Two years later I was the mod of an internet forum.
Comment: #forum-m@irc.freenode.net
#13409
<Chow-BBL> fuck, i just realized how much i dislike eating pussy
<rtav> ChOwShAdY, I have to ask why you're trying to pleasure a woman...
<rtav> you need to tell her that were she meant to be pleasured, she'd be a man
<Spamalope> keep in mind how often rtav gets ass before you heed his advice pertaining to ladies.
<rtav> Spamalope, My advice is untainted by experience.
#307708
* rycuda has just been offered an amp
<@Al> After being given a shock like that it's wise to have a coulomb-down period
<@mgsts> I'm trying to decide watt a suitable punishment for these awful puns is
<@OneCruelBagel> mgsts: it's not his volt, he has troubles at ohm.
<@OneCruelBagel> We should let him have some peace faraday.
#8113
<q> well, not really. i don't like wearing clothes because i really just rather be baked.
<q> and by baked, and mean, naked.
<q> and by "and mean", i mean "i mean"
#306570
<dd7> i once had a virus that didn't do anything but move icons back to the spot i dragged them from
<dd7> it was terrible
<dd7> i think i'd much rather deal with a stolen credit card than not being able to organize my fucking desktop
#33223
<g6|agbd|kma> sure, he's innocent on all charges, didn't you know that?
<g6|agbd|kma> I mean, the httpd logs show him logging as phpbb admin
<g6|agbd|kma> then backing up the forums
<g6|agbd|kma> then douching them, all from his ip
<g6|agbd|kma> so it MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE
#9957
<Pr3tent1ous> hey
<Pr3tent1ous> If I pretend I'm female
<Pr3tent1ous> can I be an opper?
#74613
<catinabox> i can't help being annoying
-- rmuser has kicked catinabox from #albinoblacksheep (I can)
Comment: irc.lcirc.net #albinoblacksheep
#2172
<refugee> man
<refugee> you cant cancel an AOL subscription online
<dwai> try to do it over the phone
<refugee> and they want your screenname when you cancel
<refugee> so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is SIZZLINGCROTCH"
#304590
<geniice> and lets face it if your backup plan is to fill the area with liquid helium you've chosen quite an exciting life
#24147
<Clarke Eesdope> new skill dom? do explain
<Dominius Gompers> You have to get level 35 though. Then your zombies become more powerful
<Clarke Eesdope> more powerful zombies eh
<Robert Deleard> It won't be a zombie though...it’ll be a different creature
<Clarke Eesdope> can it be an elephant
<Clarke Eesdope> or some sort of enormous slug
<Robert Deleard> no, sorry..
<Clarke Eesdope> oh that's ok
<Clarke Eesdope> sometimes i just get in that slug summoning mood
#31562
<wildboar> http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/spirit.html
<Wish> no colour pictures? :(
<wildboar> they can't be in color or you would realize this is actually somewhere in Nevada
#308993
<PL> you really dont need pickup lines in Finland
<PL> It was really romantic how i met my wife
<PL> i found her puking at my bathroom (we had my friends 20yo party here)
<PL> that was love at first sight <3
#300759
tfpen: kind of ironic that a "full service ad agency" outsources their site
tfpen: unless this is your employer...
nomercy: my entire career is doing websites for people who say they do websites
#6405
<wasabi> I wish catheters were comfortable and socially acceptible
<wasabi> and that I had a minifridge under my desk