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#9974
Brianetta_afe > There's this other girl, who says she "values out friendship but..."
Brianetta_afe > and this continues:
Brianetta_afe > "... I wish it was more."
Josh_afe > lol, she's talking about your co...oh, never mind.

#55184
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on.

#31900
<LuminuS> everything you like = gay
<SniperGuy> i like you LuminuS
Comment: irc.mikernet.org

#300697
<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night

#7813
* TPEGrunge is away: -(be back in 12 years)- since -(01:54)- pager -(off)-
* TPEGrunge is back: from -(be back in 12 years)- gone -(626wks 1day 6secs)-

#37688
<Naked> I like my Motorola phone because it has a rocketship function. On a full charge I can make it to the moon.
<Naked> Top that north. :P
<mrk> mines so small it makes good for foreplay
<mrk> phone ¬_¬
Comment: #futuremark

#44073
<CaT> Is there A way I can put video files on my computer and then use my computer as a server. Also, if I can, is there a way to limit the total files sent?
<|darc|> No, you need a SUPER SERVER CHIP. They cost BILLIONS.
<FETUS> Don't tell him that darc. Cat you could get away with just a regular server chip and that will only cost a few million.

#55352
<tom> can we make a hoax on blitzed.org
<grifferz> maybe you could announce my death in a news item
<tom> I wouldn't want to let people down
<tom> when they find it isn't true

#1985
(|{KomienD) Who has a crack for Spider-Man?
(paper_bag) who has english lessons in an hour?
(vital|wrk) who has to work right now
(paper_bag) who let the dogs out
(nexxai) Who is getting pussy tonight?
(paper_bag) im getting hand
(nexxai) [paper_bag]: jerking yourself off doesn't count
(paper_bag) blast :(
(paper_bag) guess i can give back grandma her lotion, i wont be getting any l33t points tonight

#52230
swtSeduction75: my mom just told me to wear a thong
DaceIre: cool!
DaceIre: Way to go mom!
swtSeduction75: well that was one of the two options
DaceIre: what was the other one?
swtSeduction75: uh
swtSeduction75: to not wear anything
DaceIre: Bad mom!

#30076
<@Catgirl[BTEG]> So would the Borg be Communists, by any chance? :P
<@Stapler[BTEG]> Of course.
<@Indigoflo> 7 of 9 has big boobies just like lenin
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet

#308060
<%Chlamydia> my only mobile security feature is my lock pattern.
< me-tan> heh tablet runs windows XP so i use the fingerprint reader on it
< me-tan> best goddamn way to unlock your workstation ever
<%Chlamydia> nice.
< me-tan> not very secure though
<%Chlamydia> especially if someone finds your finger.
< me-tan> Chlamydia: its a laptop. Its covered in fingerprints already
< me-tan> well, laptop/tablet
< me-tan> all you have to do is cast the finger prints in gelatine then swipe them on the reader.
<%Chlamydia> i'd never have thought to do that, lol.
<%Chlamydia> i guess this is my excuse to wear long villain gloves everywhere.
< me-tan> or pick pineappes for a living.
< me-tan> One of the chemicals in pineapples removes the lines in your hands and fingers, so people who process pineapples end up leaving no fingerprints
<%Chlamydia> you are going to be first on my secret agent team.
< me-tan> only if i get a neat catsuit
<%Chlamydia> deal.
< me-tan> sweet.
Comment: #wtfux

#1679
<Snapperhe> what 'flavour' of linux do you use?
<al-x> strawberry
<al-x> WITH A HINT OF NERDNILLA

#68398
TrogL> the person handing out official photo id will not give you your official photo id unless you have your official photo id
TrogL> 3 people are trying to get her to see the catch-22 and she's not getting it
[...]
TrogL> the lady with the ID's gave up and is now handing them out at random
TrogL> she's not even checking to make sure the picture matches
TrogL> apparently I'm a skanky blonde
TrogL> the guy next door's picture shows him bleeding profusely from a head wound
TrogL> gotta love low-bid contractors

#197703
<withnail> well, i suppose that whatever happened, at least i'll always have my memories
<withnail> and by memories i mean naked photos of her

#3027
<@MF_Nazi> I bet Rob wants to date a girl named Rob so he can scream his own name during sex

#32042
<Kurt> :P
<Kurt> when I die, that's all I want on my grave stone
<Kurt> :P
<gumby_jd> :/
<Helleshin> somehow I'm not surprised
<Kurt> and maybe "owned" really tiny in the corner

#34174
<Guyp> my mom wont let me go to the gym
<Guyp> she thinks i'll look at girls and my mind will be sinning ;[
<Guyp> so i think i'll ask her if a gay gym is ok :>

#43885
<Ravenclaw> i want to sew "bad mother fucker" onto my wallet somehow
<Meo`> you should probably have someone else sew it
<Meo`> bad motherfuckers dont sew

#8362
<TTX> How do I change my name in here?...
<Naoki> type /nick yournick
*** TTX is now known as yournick

#17093
<phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
<juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have aids!"

#6927
<MenTaLguY> You know, the trouble with cocaine is that the "...but I didn't inhale" excuse doesn't work

#44738
<Perplexed> Brit, finish JR High and get back to us
<brittlala> ive finnished jr high. notice how finnished is spelled with 2 ns, ass gobbler

#25121
<sab0tage> who thinks an Imperial Star Destroyer could take a borg cube?
*** sab0tage was kicked by Q (You are BANNED from this channel.)

#50968
<Ralphis> I'm discussing
<fragglet> its spelled disgusting

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