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#12572
<g_smackchik> did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<cochese_04> I've got the statistics in on how much I give a shit...the numbers are dangerously low!
#49056
DJ Yiffyness: your lucky, i want to paw off too but my mom/sister is home
The JaX04: I hope you dont mean that as in they are one and the same
#29666
<@kurteh> think i just downloaded a virus
<@kurteh> ;x
<@kurteh> need to check0r
<@kurteh> but i dont have virus scannor
<@kurteh> link me !
<@FrozenFood> www.goatse.cx/loopback.jpg
<@FrozenFood> omg, i typed that out..
<@FrozenFood> i know it off by heart
<@FrozenFood> :(
#1119
<iMike> monty python would be funny if nerds hadnt invented an entire subculture devoted to quoting it
#1764
<Morris> what a dick
<iln> are you looking at gay porn again?
#5431
<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count
#306540
<pawz> i use lilo :") in fact.. my first cat was called Lilo
<pawz> i would take him to the vet and they would be like "Oh, Lilo, from the Disney movie" and i would say "Oi, check his birth date. he was born years before that shitty movie. his name is short for LInux LOader"
<Stranj> And then the vet gave you a shot to calm you down?
Comment: #lulz
#32488
<Gothic_CatGirl> Blaine the Australian?
<Gothic_CatGirl> wtf kinda boyfriend is that for barbie?
<Gothic_CatGirl> My barbies were lesbians.
<Gothic_CatGirl> Don't you fucking dare quote me.
#110372
<Beastage> notice how life and fail have same letters?
Comment: irc.neowin.net, #neowin
#67344
<netcrusher88> Sloloem says he found one of the old-style TTY things sitting around
<netcrusher88> the ones that look like old modems
<netcrusher88> he says once in a while they turn it on and scream into it to make it show random characters
#53028
<fr_gment> better !pout !cry
<fr_gment> better watchout
<fr_gment> lpr why
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole >town
<fr_gment> cat /etc/passwd >list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<fr_gment> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole > town
<fr_gment> who | grep sleeping
<fr_gment> who | grep awake
<fr_gment> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<fr_gment> for (goodness sake) {
<fr_gment> be good
<fr_gment> }
#3265
<HondaRace> ask shok and how much I charged him for his clutch
<HondaRace> ;)
<Shok> no
<Shok> i'm embarassed
<poste> how much?
<HondaRace> he sucked my dick
<Shok> i felt used and dirty after
<spicrx7> HR, he sucked mine for a stick of gum the other day
<spicrx7> you got ripped off
#2403
<goh> i've got this itching inside me that tells me i can beat you
<intra> like a vaginal itching?
<goh> intra: yes
<intra> just get some vagasil
#298198
<+pichu> 0C = freezing, 100C = boiling
<Hideki-kun> kelvin = C + 273.15
<%^> 0 degrees Celsius = 32 degrees Fahrenheit
<div> i look at all the ppl talking about temperature
<div> and all i see is K F C
<div> <_<
<div> and then i got hungry
#20690
[sta_hi] i had a static ip once
[sta_hi] till i touched a doorknob
#50369
<molo> penis
<treb> whats the plural of penis? is it peni?
<kroggy> gang rape.
Comment: #homeworld
#300711
<Xagor> I just bought some ice cream and booze. Trying both the masculine AND feminine ways of getting over an aborted relationship :(
#1556
<@Patilla> hacking is cool
<@Patilla> i saw it done once in a movie
#13570
* oWildKard waters the o at the beginning of his name... maybe in time it will grow to a beautiful @
#3874
<Hostile> And now that i think of it, the west coast should be all renamed to the wastelands
<Scofco> It should be renamed to the east coast
<Scofco> then we would have 2 east coasts
<Scofco> it would rid gang violence
<Scofco> end the east coast / west coast struggle
<Scofco> with a simple name change
<Scofco> I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE
<Hostile> AGREED
#23609
<Iori> Caerbannog, You might be a RedNeck if, Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
<Khamul> Iori, you might be a Retard if, You have a really Retarded Script that has no idea about, punctuation and Capitalisation
#79667
<Dan_Dinh> *yet?
<Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ?
<Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future
#61270
<Chrisid> so where does the hacker community hang out
<sdouble> aol
#261933
<elDiablo> I HATE MENUS
<elDiablo> MEN FUCKING US
<elDiablo> ...
<elDiablo> Wait a minute
<Xarlaxas> ?
<MaximusBrood> Typo of the day.
<elDiablo> Quiet you
#56337
<Mal> I may have made a fatal error in my personal development.
<Wad_Shooter> What'dya mean?
<Mal> OK, so a couple of years ago I graduate, get ready to go to university.
<Mal> And I'm a nice guy and everything, but I'm a bit quiet. Shy, you know?
<Wad_Shooter> Yeah...
<Mal> So I decide to become more of a quick speaker. The kind of guy who's got a good one-liner for any situation. Pretty easy stuff - I started by using a few characters from books, sort of borrowing their mannerisms, and it eventually stuck. I started becoming more talkative, and more outwardly funny.
<Mal> Basically I was just coming out and saying the shit that was going through my head anyway.
<Mal> Problem was, at around the same time I started reading these fucking quote sites - Bash, QDB, you know.
<Wad_Shooter> OK...
<Mal> So I'm still coming out with funny stuff that's going through my head - but now it's like 99% 'your mum' jokes.
<Wad_Shooter> LOL, smooth
<Mal> Shut up, your mum takes it in the arse.