m.QDB.us

#1104
<var> 40 ping dont mean shit if it jerks and stops like a fucking epileptic in a strobe light

#3435
<Maxstah> i had a cable repair call at this arian nation nazi guys house today
<Maxstah> funny his name was joseph black
<Maxstah> i told him thats ironic
<Maxstah> he got pissed

#2738
<ckx> xmas was fun back before i was blessed with pubes and still had hopes and dreams and such

#300971
<Monotone> wtf is this shit? you're telling me I spent my entire military career physically attaching 25 year old encryption devices to my body and treating night vision equipment like it was the holy grail of sensitive technology
<Monotone> and an insurgent can basically just log on to a live feed from any US aircraft's FLIR?
<Monotone> face
<Monotone> meet palm
<Monotone> "fielded so fast that it was done with an unencrypted signal. It could be both intercepted (e.g. hacked into) and jammed"
<Monotone> WE NEED THIS NOW HERE'S A CHECK NO WE DON'T CARE THAT IT'S MISSING FUNDAMENTAL FEATURES
<Monotone> thank fuckin christ we're not fighting the Chinese, those hacker units from C&C Generals would sell our entire fleet of aircraft on Ebay and bog down SIPRNET with penis-enlargement spam two weeks into the conflict

#3746
<madog> one of these days ima whore an o and /kill qurve
<Infomastr> i've set up private irc servers just to /kill myself
<elm> you must be bored
<Infomastr> i have no sex life

#15176
[Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute of an erection

#32959
<Vinny> Too tight?? You can land a f***ing jumbo jet in there.

#13900
<Elfhelm> ya can never have to much coffee.
<Elfhelm> the stuff is great for the soul
<Spriggan|UT> just like heroin .... i mean church

#27844
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit

#33530
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face

#67775
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson

#6961
<zhixel:#916> <matrix> woah. I know perl. </matrix>
<junk:#916> you forgot the trailing dude

#34188
<BalefireX> how goes the porn site Peppe316[0]?
<Peppe316[0]> I'm getting my clientel up first
<error> does your mom know yet?
<Peppe316[0]> no
<Peppe316[0]> I haven't talked to her for 10 weeks
<Peppe316[0]> it's nice
<Peppe316[0]> this freedom shit is the fun
<error> was it because she found out you drank and you didn't love the lord?
<Peppe316[0]> possibly
<Peppe316[0]> :(
<Peppe316[0]> er
<Peppe316[0]> :)
Comment: #gideontech

#46533
<korozion> on the weekend, we were at a bar, and I took my buddies girlfriends cowboy hat, and put it on. My girlfriend look at me and said "save a horse, ride a cowboy". From that point on, I have had a new respect for counry music

#7782
<faustwork> she looks good
<chaommm> is she hot?
<faustwork> id bang her
<chaommm> that doesnt mean shit
<faustwork> id bang her with no beer
<chaommm> WOAH

#18255
<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't fail at it.
<UprightMan>Says Who?
<UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times
<UprightMan>and still mess up
<UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I still sometimes miss the toilet!

#300291
<Fox> I disrupted a town hall meeting today with a simple question, the one I was looking for last night.
<Fox> Totaly threw all the old fearmongers off track
<Kein> lolwut?
<Fox> yeah, I tried going to a town hall meeting, which takes place at sea world here every couple weeks or so...and I seemed to be the only one trying to argue and promote facts instead of fearmongering bs
<Fox> it was mostly old people and rich looking guys in suits
<Fox> so this time when I went in and they refused to listen, I asked a question, sounding as serious as possible
<Fox> the question? "has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
<G-Flex> hahahaha did you seriously say that
<Fox> I had to write it down to remember it right, but...it sounds like a legit question

#15634
<drunkers> do you know who i am?
<vinnieT> nope
<drunkers> i could rip your eyes out and stick them in your knee and make your knee read a book
<vinnieT> i dont read

#304896
<red_delicious> slenderbot, you're growing up so fast!
<SlenderBot> I'LL PREPARE A HUNDRED COFFINS.

#2084
<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you don't let it out of its room.

#4019
<drlion> squirrels have sexy tails
<drlion> like foxes
<[ric]> hmm.... define "sexy"
<[ric]> in fact, don't... I will leave it to my imagination.. :)

#297804
*** Alver hums a cheery tune
*** griffon trys to figure out why libpthread.so is being linked to his app
*** ianj buys a domain name
*** TriOx jailbreaks his iphone 3GS
*** Alver steals TriOx' iphone, runs a webserver on it, hijacks ianj's domain, makes it show goatse.cz from the httpd on the iphone, and lures griffon into thinking it's a page on libpthread.so
<Alver> MO-MO-MO-MONSTER KILLLLL

#8223
<below> i'm going to kill my roommate.
<Aven> Kill kill kill
<below> he's going to die for this one
<Aven> Wait, I'M YOUR ROOMMATE!
<below> you are?
<below> wtf?!
<below> how many fingers am i holding up?
<Aven> 2
<Aven> But I don't think ones a... oh god.
<below> yes.
* Aven stabs himself in the eye with a pen.

Random | Latest | Best | Full Site