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#297854
<gauze> having sex with a girl who weighs twice as much as a normal girl doesn't make it a 3some
#55852
<axiom> heh my sister's friend got molested by a gay guy he had to share a bed with on a band trip..hahah
<Socks> what's so funny about that?
<axiom> he's working to become a priest
#41688
<rdancer> frog_: *printf means ``those many functions whose name ends with "printf"'' at least in C, there are *many*
<||cw> my favorite is pprintf, it prints the first letter of any words where the starting sounds is a hard consant sound 2 times
#138941
<Siege> oh dear lord
<Siege> i might have fucked up bad
<Siege> i was taking this test in my anthropology class and the question asked about the last common ancestor between chimpanzees and humans
<Siege> im pretty sure i accidentally wrote something like "although they share many similarities, the humans and chinese branched off into different species ages ago"
<Siege> instead of chimpanzees
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
#303787
<femmefan1946> Those drivers have tight schedules to follow. You'd have a hard time flagging one down.
<femmefan1946> Unless you were wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> Heh. I'm male. Though this is Vancouver...it would probably be fairly easy to flag a driver down, if I was wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> It works for my uncle.
#2258
<david\ks> there's this girl in my evolution inf. diseases class.. she has enormous tits.. they are monster tits.. seriously.. well she wore this shirt that said, across her chest: "Hey! I'm up here! (Arrow pointing up)"
<david\ks> I thought that was pretty funny.
<david\ks> i told her i had the same problem and she laughed .. but that's all i could say to her because her boobs intimidated me
#1611
<tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a minimal octal instead of puging the cache
#46474
<fr_gment> Right-wing, fundamentalist Christian religious groups are proponents of teaching abstinence over contraception in schools, correct?
<autrereine> Correct.
<fr_gment> Abstinence didn't save the Virgin Mary!
#280259
kingdamian42 : My dad bought a PS3, right(god knows why)
kingdamian42 : I put in a regular dvd to watch.
kingdamian42 : It doesn't recognize it as a music cd, or a game cd. So it thinks, "Oh this must be blueray".
kingdamian42 : It brought out the big laser, guess who has a hole in his dvd.
Greyejoy : BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH
#48568
[07:21] <jetlag> Oh wow, Chinese cars in summer 2007.
[07:22] <jetlag> I better start saving.
[07:24] <jetlag> Ok, done.
#4752
<rhost> no_ana.... i miss you
<rhost> with every bullet
#17983
<indecisive> I WISH I WAS LIKE 5
<indecisive> I COULD START ALL OVER
<indecisive> LIKE HEY, I COULD PRETEND TO NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE MY LEGS
<indecisive> AND WENT AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR LIKE ALL MY LIFE BUT EXERCISED MY LEGS SECRETLY AND THEN JUMPED OUT AND STARTED BREAK-DANCING
<Fishfood> YOU COULD GO TO A CRIPPLE CONVENTION AND GET UP IN THE MIDDLE AND SHOUT 'GET WITH THE FUNK' AND JUMP ON THE TABLE
<indecisive> WHILE I'M WISHING, I WISH I HAD FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS
#6742
<ProFessional_Widow> i have back stage asses
<ProFessional_Widow> passes
#25637
<Nicklon> agh i just typed in lego technic into limewire search and i got porn results
<Reubenoit> probably because you typoed 'lego' as 'hardcore penetration"
#44549
ExiledFromLight: hahahaha
ExiledFromLight: omfg
Xenophoribic: What?
ExiledFromLight: i was showing my mom some shirts that i was looking at on jinx.com
ExiledFromLight: and she say Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night
ExiledFromLight: and of course jinx is a site for geeks/gamers
ExiledFromLight: and she wanted it, but in white. it only came in black
ExiledFromLight: so im like "geeks dont wear white, it stains too easily"
ExiledFromLight: so she looks at me and says "those stains show up on black too"
Xenophoribic: XD
Xenophoribic: Your mom owned you, man.. Congratulations
#28956
<Low`DOHC> I'm not god...
<Low`DOHC> I'm more along the lines of buddha
<CaptChaos> yeah, fat and overly passive
#13576
<Darth-Phenom> I've just realised something which you'll find quite remarkable
<Darth-Phenom> This place sucks
#55082
<fizzer> and we had to put condoms on the boys bananas
<fizzer> and there were too many girls in my class, so it was me and another girl with Luke
<fizzer> and he was mighty embarrassed
<koshua> Were the guys given half a nectarine and told to find the clitoris?
Comment: Sex Ed, Ozzie style
#33887
<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out
#113987
<Kodan> I hate lawyers.
<Dwing> I'm a lawyer.
<Dwing> I AM OFFENDED BY YOUR STATEMENT!
<Dwing> <Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-counter-counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Spray paints self black>
<Kodan> <Pulls out the race card>
<Kodan> OH LAWD! THE WHITE MAN BE A PUTTIN' ME DOWN!
<Kodan> <Calls Al Sharpton>
<Dwing> ...
<Dwing> I bow to your superior tactic D:
#34211
<Heather> penises are scary =/
<Kevyn> how so?
<Heather> they feel weird.
<Kevyn> how do they feel?
<Heather> like the rubber lizard in spencer's.
#40783
<Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's website's background to Goatse.
* Antifreez sighs
<Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song.
<Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!"
<Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.
Comment: From Metafilter's IRC Channel.
#14102
<dphead> I think my cat is sick :(
<phunqe> Why?
<dphead> It's all twitchy and stuff...
<phunqe> I'm sure it's just lagged.
<phunqe> Check its fps.
#28781
<Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
<Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at the end of the bed
<Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down onto the floor at 3am.
<Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
<Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
<Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it like the Borg of Star Trek do.
<Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".
#444
<SYch0> >>> Spelling error in digdug. Suggestions:
<SYch0> uiu 1. lamer