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#58726
suurlemoen: usually I can't even run a whole mile
scythen32: ...
scythen32: not something i would tell people
suurlemoen: no, there are a lot of people who can't run a mile
scythen32: yes
scythen32: they are called americans
#31273
Heywire22: OMG CLOSE YOUR PANTS IF YOUR GONNA DO THAT ON WEBCAM
Heywire22: Fuck
Heywire22: Wrong fucking window
Heywire22: Shit shit shit
Frusciante 36: jesus
Frusciante 36: who you talking to?!
#384
<bocz> i think ill be stuck to getting 2 sticks of 128
<bocz> thats 310 mb for a server
<Guilty> Kudos on finding the elusive 54MB DIMM
#104052
<Opef> This one time at Madonna Camp, I stuck a flute, a tuba, a didgeridoo, a clarinet, a trumpet, a violin, a double bass, a guitar, and a cello in my pussy.
#22892
<kammerer06>if 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea does that mean the 5th person likes it.
#302530
<Apophis> Somalian radio stations have banned certain songs
<Apophis> my first thought upon learning this was, 'they'll still be played on pirate radio'
<Apophis> then I punched myself
#311623
< brennyn> i once had to train a guy at work who i could not convince that 1 percent and 1 gallon are not "basically the same thing"
< brennyn> his explanaton was that milk comes in 2%
< brennyn> he wasn't trolling, he was actually stupid
< brennyn> he got fired less than a week later for pouring paint thinner into his eyes
<@snek-sensei> w-what
< brennyn> he was cleaning something that required lying down and crawling under the machine
< brennyn> he got to the part he needed to clean, held a cup of paint thinner above it, and poured directly into his face
< brennyn> because he forgot about gravity
<@snek-sensei> oh okay that makes sense
#9214
<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack
#300867
<Thadd> I'm mormon
<Thadd> in the sense I stockpile assault weapons and have sex with teenage girls
<Thadd> other than that I'm an atheist
Comment: #arc-nova.org on DarkMyst IRC
#96531
<Dolfin> Reminds me of when a guy I know started a band with some guys from college.
<Dolfin> They were all fans of We Are Scientists so they called the band We Are Terrorists as a parody.
<Dolfin> When they finally got their first gig, they all went out on stage, only to see about 10 people and 50 cops standing there, not looking at all amused or impressed.
<Dolfin> They had a shitload of explaining to do, man.
<Dolfin> The moral is, be careful what you call your band, because first impressions mean a lot.
<Dolfin> Especially if those first impressions are going to get you arrested.
#141301
< grey> So I had an idea today
< grey> of something that could amuse me, if only because I know out there somewhere, someone else would laugh
< grey> I want to get an ebay username of something creepy, like "WatchingU.P", then buy stuff like a telescope or pinhole camera, then leave feedback like "A+++, Fast Shipping, You should get that mole checked!"
#29673
<@Confessor> I remember one time in boot camp.
<@Confessor> When I tried to ask the RDC for a head call... 'bathroom break.'
<@Confessor> I forgot the 'call' part.
<@Confessor> I ended up respectfully requesting head.
<@Confessor> From my drill instructor.
<@Confessor> And thus ended any hope of a political career.
#54900
<XenoDemon> So it is 3am, and I am sleeping
<XenoDemon> Some girl comes into my dorm room (Door isin't locked, room mate is still on computer)
<XenoDemon> She mumbles something to my room mate who had no idea who she was
<XenoDemon> Sits on my bed, then lays down in my bed (I am still in it), takes my blanket, and starts to go to sleep, then knocks her head against mine.
<XenoDemon> I go "Who the hell are you? What's your name?" "Aisha" "Where do you live?" "Ogg" (Another dorm)
<XenoDemon> "you're in the wrong dorm" "what? no I'm not" "Well um I need to use this bed, go back to Ogg ok?" "Haha... Ok... bye" and then she leaves
<XenoDemon> I know it is easy to get random drunk girls into bed, but that was just ridiculus.
#3100
<Ecntrcjrk> Eating babies is like eating Veal.
<Ecntrcjrk> Only..... babies.
#53184
<keith> 10 dollars on shipping and handling for a domain name
<keith> wtf
<keith> there is no shiping on a domain
<keith> fucking idiots
<keith> WHAT IDIOT PUTS SHIPING PRICES ON A DOMAIN OR WEBSITE
<keith> Shipping
<keith> to CAN
<keith> you cant ship a web address
<Renegade> they ship you a receipt
<Renegade> and a note
<Renegade> saying that you're a dumbass for paying shipping
<Renegade> on a domain name
#33035
(fleet): what I love about this channel is that no matter what I say, temp0 tells me to rail myself with a metal pole.
(temp0): i like you fleet
(fleet): really?
(temp0): NO! FUCK OFF AND RAIL YOURSELF WITH A METAL POLE
#41243
<Keshu> I had much phone sex
<Pernell> what kinda phone?
#50736
<comet1604> shit, my nose just started bleeding
<whackazog> lay off the cock
<comet1604> ?
<whackazog> errr, coke
#265546
<+arinder> evening
<&Frell> Afternoon
<+Highfarm> well hello there children...
<+arinder> i have Popsicles in my basement
<+Highfarm> is that another way of saying you´re taking it in the ass ? :D
<+arinder> wow i never thought it that way :D
<+arinder> :(
#32695
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> we're talkign about sex (no big deal at my work) and he pops in and he says this "mmm i like to give them girls golden showers...", after that we were both like "........", and he knew he said something wrong and left .
<ZestyO> ...
<White_Anomaly> strange people on this planet
<White_Anomaly> :(
<ZestyO> indeed
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> yes very
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> i didn't know half of the sick things i do now until i got on the internet :(
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> my poor soul will never be pure again :(
#18007
<Rival|prophecy> god some guy named whois keeps messaging me with all this hacker shit
#301233
<@Sebas_> Hahaha, there's a book called "Modern Financial Accounting" in one of our book cases, and according to the back text, you can read it "for pleasure or by necessity."
<@Sebas_> Who the FUCK reads a 1000 page book on fucking accounting for pleasure?
#30624
<Kaelic> Michael Jackson fans are fucking psychos
<Kaelic> my god they cry when he leaves and they can't see him
<Kaelic> umm ISSUES
<Lothtiriel> he's a bit of a nutcase too though, so it fits well
<Orca> "A bit"
<Kaelic> lol
<Kaelic> 'Show us your baby' 'Okay I'll throw him to you'
#13148
[aphr0] do hospitals let you keep the umbilical cord?
[aphr0] I'ma have my kid's cord made into a die
[aphr0] tie
[aphr0] or freeze it and tan it and make it into a cane
[aphr0] give it to my kid when he learns to walk so he can walk around and pimp bitches with his umbilical cord
#11973
<Tribespr0n> oh wait
<Tribespr0n> i have an 80 gig drive full of porn
<Tribespr0n> i need to hook that up
<Tribespr0n> Dude at work, brought in an 80 gig drive full of asian porn
<Tribespr0n ok
<Tribespr0n> wtf
<Tribespr0n> this drive is part of a raid array