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#55138
<MadeInAustralia> 95% of emos are homosexual
<Pen_Pen> And the rest are female.
#28296
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall over from mine
#304240
<@Amigod> i want to play my guitar
<@Amigod> But Eleni's asleep
<HanSorbo> So wear earplugs.
<HanSorbo> So you cant hear her yelling at you to stop.
#5967
<ToiletDuk> you're an idiot
<Lucent-H> you have a job!
<Lucent-H> okay, now you tell another lie
#237419
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
#45537
<robotron> Dr_[^o^] is it true that people in your country name their kids by throwing silverware in the air and naming their kids after the sounds it makes when it hits the ground
<robotron> like ching chong kang
<robotron> @_@
<Dr_[^o^]> robie: is it true that you guys name your kids by throwing the bible
#27597
<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.
#306411
-*- StoneCypher just found out that one of his favorite and one of his least favorite pieces of software are basically made by the same guy :(
<StoneCypher> PrinceXML and Opera.
<StoneCypher> i mean seriously, it's like finding out that hitler also saved eight million people from an asteroid
#39661
Montezume: last time I went and got my hair cut I broke a mirror
Pixy Stixer: not smart
Montezume: they told me it was because I dropped it, but I knew better...
Pixy Stixer: lol
Montezume: so if I'm not mistaken...I think that's 7 years of bad haircuts
#103345
xyzzy: do you want a violin that we can't play for shit?
xyzzy: i'll sell it $40
Bahamut: i have one
xyzzy: do you want some firewood?
xyzzy: $35
#300849
<MunInFull> So I've got an mp3 of Biggie's Mesmerize as my ringtone? I was at a bodega buying tamales this morning, it went off, and this little cholo thug just started dancing in line, told me to keep that bitch waiting because this was a good song. Afterwards, we fistbumped. I felt ethnic.
#49794
[Mediator] FUCK FUCK FUCK
[Mediator] Ok so there was this gel pack with my heatsink
[Mediator] And it says all over it "Do not eat"
[Mediator] So its been lying on my desk for like 4 days
[Mediator] So I stabbed it with a screw driver today out of bordom
[Mediator] and some little balls came out
[Mediator] And they were clear
[Mediator] and I was liek "neat"
[Tangerz] :\
[Mediator] So out of curiousity I licked one
[Mediator] And now my tongue is melting off
Comment: Aftermath of a previous quote. #runeweb on irc.anoxs.net
#20130
<juditness> I RECEIVED MY PROFICIENCY CERTIFICATE =D
<Goatasaur> i'm going to get my procrastination certificate one of these days
#6055
<Guyver3> you know what the best part of being me is?
<Guyver3> being me
* Guyver3 gleams with an unholy glow
<kingmob> now, see, that's the kind of attitude i like to hear
<kingmob> the world needs more arrogant bastards
<kingmob> i get lonely
#32811
< Mr-Bond> os[Windows XP Professional (5.1 - 2600)] uptime[2days 2hrs 7mins 10secs] cpu[1-AMD , 1999MHz, 256KB (42% Load)] mem[Usage: 443/512MB (86.52%) [|||||||||-]] gfx[RADEON 7200 SERIES ] screen[1024x768 32bit 100Hz]
< Mr-Bond> hate the way that yoke says 1999MHz
< Mr-Bond> its a 2 gig godanmit!
< acous> :)
< acous> it's for tax purposes
< acous> 2 gigs are more expensive to tax
< acous> :)
< Mr-Bond> you serious?
#25569
<aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was roleplaying a prostitute
<Kiger> lol
<Kiger> you did that aich?
<aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
<aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head for money
#39087
<^Sasquatch^> AFK = Away From Komputer
#35297
* Quits: eLe|A (~zerg@pD9520CC7.dip.t-dialin.net) (Quit: When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'.)
#37314
<Redd_Jedi> When people say "Have you been penetrated" does that mean have they been shot?
<Plog> o_O
<Squirtle> O_O
<Redd_Jedi> What?
<Plog> Redd_Jedi: When you have a man and a woman.
<Redd_Jedi> WHOA WHOA WHOA I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING
<Plog> they order a bird to drop a baby down their chimney.
<Plog> And the baby is penetrating the chimney you see. >_>
<Redd_Jedi> So that's what it means <_<
#32456
<+BaD-CoMpAnY> The only British idiom I know is that fag means cigarette.
<@Seraph> Then someone tell this cigarette to shut up.
#303832
<Kage> man remember when musicians got by on their own vocal talent rather than a digital voice filter
<ixisid> no i was born in the 80s
#19320
SilvrWolf> "I distinctly heard my Rice Crispies say 'Snap, crackle, go Fu*& yourself'."
#6401
<risca> how do you spell world?
<risca> as in "the whole world"
<mixie> world
#11658
<gigatron> fett
<gigatron> anyone
<gigatron> did u get jk2 yet
<Hydrac7> I'm trying now
<Hydrac7> on eDonkey but it's slow as hell
<Hydrac7> expect me to code it faster than it will download
#309301
Bruno: "Hm, I should put on a podcast while I clean the kitchen" -> "Hm, Pragha doesn't seem to have an RSS podcast feature" -> "yum install banshee" -> "sudo yum install banshee" -> It's now like 30 minutes later and the kitchen is no cleaner