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#303402
LG: My bro left his phone at my house last night
LG: so... I just tried to call him to tell him
LG: I tried to call his cell with mine. when his was in MY OTHER HAND
BadSpoon: did you answer?
LG: no.
LG: I'm pretty retarded.
LG: But I have a little dignity.
#1083
<thinkmad> vvhat is pengs real name
<timmo> chris
<timmo> is your w broken?
<thinkmad> no
#296954
<@robodex> you know what's sad? there's another guy in the GTA with the same name as me. And my name isn't common.
<@robodex> and from what I can tell, he's cooler, better looking and more popular than I am
<@robodex> you know how that feels? It's like one of those movies where you're off trying to stop your evil clone
<@robodex> but in the end, you find out
<@robodex> you're the evil clone
#40098
[SaladFork] Wow, that was really nerdy
[KOZOR] ?
[SaladFork] Today in computer science, there was this other kid there that knew of the QDB
[SaladFork] long story short, we were shouting quote numbers back and forth, and then a few seconds later, hearing the other person laugh.
[SaladFork] I am now, a true nerd.
#137652
<Trinexx> Foster brought a client down to the basement today
<Trinexx> I was wearing that fucking hat they decided to make me wear
<Trinexx> my hair in a ponytail
<Trinexx> this shiteating client sees me, thinks I'm a chick
<Trinexx> says "hey baby, are you having fun?"
<Trinexx> I ignore the asswad
<Trinexx> he walks up behind me, puts his hand on my shoulder, and repeats the question
<Trinexx> I turn around, look him dead in the eye, and say in my deepest voice possible "Yeah honey, now that you're here"
<Trinexx> guy nearly jumped out of his skin
#4575
<Glex25> Space Left On [ C: 5.29/8.87 GB. D: 9.91/19.73 GB. E: 52.14/153.38 GB. Total: 67.34/181.98 GB ] .
<Scofco> dear lord
<phaded> holy good god
<phaded> how do you sleep at night?!
#3695
<CorranFox> but I wanted to ask something about a certain girl... who likes me
<CorranFox> its been buggin me for a while
<CorranFox> well since last night anyways
<CorranFox> care to listen?
<Slant> Sure. Do tell.
<scummo> "See.. her name's 'my mom'...
#51593
Florgenblorken: did i tell you my cousin ran away
Caracarn52: nope
Caracarn52: Go on.
Florgenblorken: hes like a drug addict and just bad news in general, and he hates his parents. so i hear from my dad last week he ran off with 1200$ and has been gone for about half a week. but heres the fucked up part. he asked me last time i saw him, "hey dude ive been thinking of running off think i should?" and me being an idiot says, "yeah man sure why not" since i thought he was joking
Florgenblorken: whoops
#1634
<harb> Polybeastiality? Is that like cheating on your sheep with your cow?
#44276
<@TimJohnson> im going to try and cook bacon on my george format grill
<@TimJohnson> yeyah
* Dudette formats the grill
<%Sunbun> the George Format Grill: Knocks out the FAT32
Comment: #theromcafe
#306048
<Man18> friends dog had to be put down today
<Man18> i told him damn man thats ruff in a text message
<Man18> he deleted me on facebook
Comment: #gbatemp.net
#8094
<Perforator\zzz> my grandma was going thru my room today for some ungodly reason and found some of my gf's clothes she "accidently" left here.
<Perforator\zzz> i'm all, "i like to wear black panties, DAMNIT"
#56605
<sphex> I hate trees so much. just.. standing there.. like JERKS.
#19445
<*AGBot> grins.
<Eye_Candy> SEE?
<*AGBot> I'm not a bot.
<Eye_Candy> DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT!?!
<Vic> See what?
<Zero> See what?
<Eye_Candy> god dammit.
<*AGBot> Kill, Ross... Kill them all.
* Eye_Candy rocks gently, whispering 'there IS a bot, there IS a bot'
#951
(Atarax) I think I ogle 14 year old girls just to see the looks on their parents faces
#188970
<G-Flex> I was stealing wifi once and got into the people's router and I just like
<G-Flex> wound up upgrading their firmware
#52438
<Anagon> me,mimi and aaron drinking outside pub
<Anagon> girl comes over selling LED pendants
<Anagon> asks if i wanted to buy one for my girlfriend
<Anagon> "she's worth a pound fifty isn't she?"
<Anagon> and i hate getting heckled, specially using a girl against me
<Anagon> so i replied "i dunno.. how about 1 pound forty nine?"
<Anagon> managed to piss them both off at once ;p
<_Mj> lol
* Anagon got her it in the end
#62402
Spfamg24BIG: Can you get blind from looking at pictures of solar eclipses?
#29799
<Edwards> what's wrong with having 20 thousand pictures of little boys?
<Edwards> lmao
<porkbelly> umm
<Edwards> lmfao
<porkbelly> I can think of 20,000 things wrong with that
#14971
<Erad> homophobics are gay
#1511
(e-city) why do they rip trance as one huge mp3????
(Graeme) 'cos it's mixed, and the gaps you'd get in winamp would spoil your ecstasy trip
#305947
<+wklyver> man, you ever get something to work, but you aren't quite sure how
<+Cuntism> i made my gf cum once
<+Cuntism> does that count
#9474
<Undine> So he dumped her, "Nothing about sex should remind you of a cauliflower"
#59520
<katiesaurus> I'm kinda like a pineapple
<mattatta> huh?
<katiesaurus> brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside
<mattatta> oh lol, I thought you meant fat and best cut into pieces
<katiesaurus> ...ummm
#56977
<evilAdmin> WTF!
<evilAdmin> Me and some co-workers saw V for Vendetta on Friday. One of my friends is completly obsessed with the movie.
<evilAdmin> So my buddy is missing today. He does the Unix and Linux shit in the office (I do hardware).
<evilAdmin> Then a white fuckin' van shows up mid 3PM that says "FOR YOUR PROTECTION" on the back. Some dude with a complete Guy Fawkes costume and mask hopes out, complete with boots, cape, tophat, (presumably) fake knifes, and a V Mask. Everyone is like "WTF!?1111!".
<evilAdmin> Dude comes upstairs and has "SYS V" printed on his back and "V SYS" on the front. He starts handing out floppies with AT&T System V (5) Unix on them. Doesn't say a fucking word. Everyone is clueless. The guy handed out like 300 floppies and nobody knows what to do with them.
<evilAdmin> Then he hops back into his white fan and drives away.
<evilAdmin> WTF???