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#13331
<BlazinIndo> you can call me mentally retarded, but i feel good right about now
<Ludwig> thats cus you're too stupid to know you're mentally retarded
<Ludwig> its a catch 22
<BlazinIndo> i dont see what your getting at....
#304158
<welandB> God dammit.
<welandB> I went to the Renaissance Festival and hit it off with a girl so I tore off a piece of paper from the map and wrote down my number for her.
<welandB> So my friend tears off more pieces and writes down "Call Nate for gay sucking and fucking" with my phone number.
<welandB> And starts handing them out.
<welandB> So I take them away from him and stuff them in my pocket.
<welandB> My cat just dragged one right to my mom.
<welandB> We just had a sit-down talk where I had to clarify that I am not soliciting sex from strange men.
#307314
<amarainein> sudo -u bitch make sammich 2>/dev/null
<amarainein> that's how it's done
<robin> amarainein: Why do you want to become the bitch to make a sammich?
<amarainein> i was ordering her- oh, never mind
<amarainein> it's never funny if you have to explain it
<robin> sudo -u bitch is more like possessing her to make a demonic sammich as the walls drip with blood.
<robin> Lights flicker, and bitch suddenly finds herself making a sammich against her very will!
<robin> Yet charged to her filesystem and CPU quota!
<amarainein> exactly. and in /dev/null, noone can hear your screams
#40653
<Desh> GEORGIA SUX
<doughnut> so does your mom
<doughnut> like a vacuum cleaner
<doughnut> just sucks and sucks
<Desh> my dad told me stores of when my mom gave him head
<Desh> she likes to spit it out and suck it back in >__>
<doughnut> ...................wtf
<Desh> i know things im not supposed to know :(
#16617
<Deke> hrm
<Deke> thats scary
<Deke> that hot korean chic from the world cup
<Deke> was a man
<|WaR|> i knew it!!!!
<|WaR|> i kept telling ppl...the neck dammit
#24382
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'(
#47368
<Tycho> AND I HOPE YOU ALL CHOKE AND DIE
<Tycho> except you War
<Warmachine> :D
<Tycho> I HOPE YOU DROWN
<WarMachine> oh :(
#600
[17:05] <thinkmad> christ man
[17:05] <thinkmad> i just caught my dad jerking off
#215554
conquistador: seriously i think i've seen atleast 25% of all the amateur lesbian porn in the world in the past 48hrs
conquistador: my dick isn't even chaffing anymore and if i robbed a bank they wouldn't get any prints
#74613
<catinabox> i can't help being annoying
-- rmuser has kicked catinabox from #albinoblacksheep (I can)
Comment: irc.lcirc.net #albinoblacksheep
#5273
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
#26390
(icequeen) ok justin I am moving in with you.
(icequeen) benny find me a job, justin i can live there
(benny) i will find you a job as an underdesk relaxation therapist
#2604
<zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji
#8702
<Sull> what is this obsession with trading pics?
<lostsoul1> it is kind of like pokemon...you gota collect them all
#29306
[23:37:20] <Conjurer> ps1 was great
[23:37:27] <J3anyus> for me to poop on
[23:37:27] <Conjurer> for me to poop on
[23:37:31] <J3anyus> good god
[23:37:33] <J3anyus> that's scary.
#308166
<macduff> I bought Jake and his wife a fuck swing for their wedding present.
<h00k> How thoughtful.
<macduff> He claims they don't use it, but I've been to their house and in the corner of the bedroom there's a fern hanging from a suspiciously large eye bolt.
#20237
<Paintballaddict> when I grow up, I wanna be green
<Paintballaddict> my mom said I could be whatever I want to be, so I want to be green
<Slayer1> dude, ure wierd
#7876
<Syclopse> my god you again
<gesus> dislexia?
<gesus> i'm sure you meant to say "you my god again"
#300885
<Dave2> I wonder if it's normal for me to frequently swear at, shake my fist at, and give the middle finger to an inanimate object.
<awilcox> Dave2, your penis?
#9
<cooksii> incest is at least something the whole family can do.
#10262
<MoonFog> Accept my send!!
<spark-> are you behind a firewall?
<MoonFog> Yes. but i can send
<spark-> Please consult your network administrator
<MoonFog> I am, and i know it works
<spark-> Please insult your network administrator
#304914
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* Drumroll please...
<html> X
<head> X
<title> Hello world! </title>
<body> X
<h1> Hello World! </h1> </body> </html>
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#70403
<morphie> tovarich!
<kroesjnov> vodka!
<morphie> da!
<kroesjnov> ah, the russian three way handshake :)
#19762
<TantricJediSquizzle> Everyone wants me.
<Mal-23> You don't want you.
<TantricJediSquizzle> Prove it.
<Mal-23> Look at your cock.
<TantricJediSquizzle> Way ahead of you.
<Mal-23> Good, can you fit your mouth around it?
<TantricJediSquizzle> Yes.
<Mal-23> Then there you have it. You don't -want- you. You -have- you. Case dismissed.
#8241
<Spellweav> how much of your time to you spend hoing?
<Freaksh0> you mean fucking or pimping other chicks ?
<Spellweav> no..chicks in general
<Spellweav> how much in vitro time for your experimental probe
<Spellweav> on the whole