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#311276
<@Talgie> I hate having to put pants on
<Jake2> Who are you talking to?
<@Talgie> Anyone who answers
<Jake2> So no one?
<@Talgie> You answered, didn't you ;)
#37249
<toku-sama> pagefault calls his father "sperm"
<toku-sama> and his mom "egg"
<pagefault> toku calls his parents test tube and eye dropper
#295480
<@Tenor> 'Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML'
<@Tenor> I'm going to be that type of parent
<@hsimah> who would have sex with you?
#33776
* RSX-2003 has joined #futuremark
<RSX-2003> lol omfg...
<RSX-2003> my friend might get suspended from school
<RSX-2003> she's enrolled in child developement, so she has to work with the special kids on campus
<RSX-2003> and they had their own dance, and my friend cintheia was the DJ
<RSX-2003> and she put on the song by black eyed peas called "lets get retarded"
<the_stick> LOL RSX-2003
<gfjgfjgfj> LMAO
<RSX-2003> if she didn't start laughing she probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble
<Stonefish> You don't want to know how much I'm laughing :)
Comment: #Futuremark
#202999
<@carbine> I need to find a new outlet for my emotions.
< pi> like a vagina?
<@carbine> And apparently it won't be the internet.
#35815
<doughboyy> Now Playing: Billy Talent - The Ex
<Theo> Now Playing: Velvet Revolver - Slither
<Kao> Now Playing: With my cock
#45715
<Tigger> It is raining
* Tigger cups her hands together around her mouth
<Tigger> Hello! anyone home?
* Phoon finishes peeing off the balcony
#301252
<@snow_> i think i could have definitely stolen this chick from her loser boyfriend
<@snow_> but i fucked up
<@snow_> tried to call her fat
<@snow_> so she would come work out w/ me
<@snow_> that backfired hard
Comment: #geekissues
#40028
<Kurt> I need vagina.
<Rjx> type /quit
<Rjx> go outside
<Rjx> find a woman
<Rjx> it's that easy
* Yze has quit IRC
* wind- has quit IRC
#52504
<^Spike^> I had my first character censored on City of Villains
<@Stumpy> whyfor?
<^Spike^> They did not appreciate 'Captain Coathanger the Abortionist'
<^Spike^> (He had pirate hooks for hands!)
Comment: He's going to hell one day...
#7245
<Mike_3486> i wonder if i could smother somebody using the CO2 from a Coke can
<Sock_Monkee> shrug
<Mike_3486> nobody knows...if i asked how to make a bong from a wiffle ball, some duct tape, and a rubber band i'd get 10 different answers
#36404
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and i dont let people borrow my games
<Nyschashi-Seikun> it would be like letting them borrow my penis
<Nyakhe> ...
<Nyschashi-Seikun> im too attached to them
#309761
<@b0lt> why is the OS X trackpad scrolling speed setting hidden in the accessibility settings panel
<tuple> because if the apple way isnt right for you, you must be handicapped
#11098
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175
#36946
<@jordan> fuckin' people trying to hide running bnc or whatever
<@jordan> dude had it named 'scandisk'
<@jordan> in $HOME/.b
Comment: #metawire / irc.metawire.org / <3 open hosting
#56465
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has joined #Ikaruga
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has left #Ikaruga []
< snacky> and don't come back
< NuclearDog> Yeah. Asshole.
< snacky> seriously
< snacky> that guy makes me sick
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has joined #Ikaruga
< snacky> hello friend
< EvilTaxi> hello
< snacky> let's trade dessert recipes please
#28750
<@n0th1ng> i hate when shit intertwines with my dream, like im fucking some chick then i hear "hey, mow the lawn today"
<@n0th1ng> and im like WTF
#4408
<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. Solution: Pork bullets.
#402
<zip`> sorry my mom just delivered taco bell
<Amanda_> I wish my mom was trained
#57554
<MarkTheMeS> Sharon Stone looked a little like Kelly Ripa on Letterman the other day.
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> she reminds me too much of an aunt of mine. so kinda creepy.
<MarkTheMeS> Single aunt?
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> 5 kids married
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> 6 kids*
<monolithblue> wow, that was fast work
<MarkTheMeS> yikes
<Junk> she just shoot out another one?!
#299461
<fahadsadah> Write a small Windows application, that locks up and crashes (infinite loop or something).
<fahadsadah> Wait for the error report window to come up, but before clicking send, locate the report in AppData.
<fahadsadah> Fill it with the lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up.
<fahadsadah> And that's how to rickroll Microsoft.
#4108
<reaper> I'm not racist I have colour TV :/
#25373
(Amanda`) I think random orgasms would get old after a while
#16750
<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course"
#14301
<McMoo> i need to start making a list of crap i need to buy for my new place
<timmo> 1) food
<var-> 3 gallons vaseline, subscriptoin to hustler, 100 cases of ramen
<timmo> hah
<kisama> heh
<kisama> vaseline isn't even that great
<kisama> fuck that pussy shit
<kisama> you need astroglide
<kisama> and a set of japanese wack mittens
<kisama> let me link you
<kisama> http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://images.jlist.com/c2/jr6992.jpg&x=573&y=500
<kisama> One of the tools used by soap girls is a rubber "magical mitten" which works with soap as lubricant for a great feel. This is a super soft rubber sheet that is held in the hand and used to clean anything you might want to clean.
<var-> haha
<timmo> you scare me snow
<kisama> just trying to ensure a soapland experience in the privacy of your own home.