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#15125
<Andre> short girls with glasses and flannel jammies are cute.
<The_Frymaster> You just described Jonathan Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire.
<The_Frymaster> You pervert.
#295957
< dexter-> how'd it go?
< tamr> it was the easiest I've had so far. No big deal
< tamr> A+++, would give birth again
#28675
(@opp-noobs-) 27. A catholic minister is known as a?
(NoahB-r) pedophile
Comment: Submitted by Wheelman56
#37225
<HiddenGenius> I think instead of having Joe Millionare they should have "Joe Minor"
<HiddenGenius> they could have like a 16 year old kid that looks a lot older do their show
<HiddenGenius> then they could see how many women have sex with him during the show
<HiddenGenius> and for the big finale, SUPRISE!!! YOURE ALL GOING TO JAIL!
#309955
<grifferz> bitcointalk full of marks who one month ago were all "yeah deconstruct the state! to the moon! fuck the bankers!" then today they are "omg I put my son's education fund on mtgox, who do I sue?"
#215584
<blu> so today i went outside because we had new stairs and etc, long story
<blu> so i go outside theres this girl on the street
<blu> so i go see her and tell her "i got molested by a mango when i was young what should i do"
<blu> SO NOW SHE PULLS A BRICK OUT OF HER PURSE
<blu> i start running
<blu> SHE FUCKING THREW IT AT ME
<blu> and now she just saw where i live
<@MokN> good luck with that
<blu> ok so i just went to give her the brick
<blu> she went
<blu> "WHAT THE FUCK ITS YOU AGAIN"
<blu> i said "hi here's your brick"
#7282
( Fuzzy ) i love the internet
( Fuzzy ) i just found a resturant, checked the menu, read two reviews, made a booking and found out exactly where it is
( Fuzzy ) i'd confidently say that the internet is going to get me laid tonight
( Fuzzy ) thoroughly laid
( `46and2 ) wow... and here i was just using it for pr0n
#1825
<madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do
<maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out
<maff> with frosting and everything
<madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way
<maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge
#30608
<God> my car broke
<God> so my dad bought me a 100 dollar geo metro to use until its fixed
<God> 1994
<God> 70,000 miles
<God> runs great
<God> i got hit by an 18 wheeler first day driving it and the guy gave me 300 bux on the spot
<God> hes like "no please i dont want to deal with cops or insurance" "how does 200 sounds" ...."uhhh.." "ok fine 300!"
<God> "i guess that works"
Comment: #xbox, irc.irctoo.net
#60043
<withnail> this is weird, i've been having more of a social life recently and missed loads of irc, and when you come back it's like missing loads of episodes in a soap opera. new characters enter, people change. so anyway, anyone dead or anything?
#6442
<redhook> <--- 22
<redhook> and I got a 7 year old on my nuts, how pathetic
<redhook> s/7/17/
<redhook> that looked bad
#39228
<JaneLame> i sent help@google.com an invitation to gmail, and at the "attached note" section i wrote - HOW DO I SEND AN INVITATION???!!!
<JaneLame> so they just sent me another invitation
<JaneLame> i think i'm gonna send one back
<issuez> haha
<issuez> IS THIS HOW?
<JaneLame> :D
Comment: #geekissues
#6758
<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .:: -
<Kilroy`> well, all I saw was the top of her head
<Kilroy`> I wonder if I'll recognize her if I meet her again
<Kilroy`> .....
<dh> Kilroy`: I guess you'll just have to make every chick you meat give you head
<dh> err meet
<dh> but then, meat works too
#301779
<Indogutsu> According to an "On This Day in America" calendar hanging on the wall in my office, Robert Fulton (the inventor of the steamboat) appeared before a House committee on February 14th, 1810 to explain the uses of torpedoes.
<Indogutsu> So to all of you who, for whatever reason, can't find love and feel left out and bitter on Valentine's Day, you can instead use this day to remember Robert Fulton and his contributions to undersea warfare.
#307624
<Jargon> We don't HAVE BEer pong here in Belgium
<Jargon> The idea that you can somehow "Win" at drinking is purely an American thing
<Quantum_Meddler> So you don't have drinking games there?
<Jargon> no
<Jargon> well
<Jargon> actually yes
<Jargon> there is one
<Jargon> You may have heard of it
<Jargon> It's called "going out and getting laid"
#32810
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP> . <- the point -> your direction of travel
#18464
<Zimbu> Listening to WvSoulja's raps is like masturbating with a cheese grater-- sorta amusing, but mostly painful.
#142387
<Omen> GBLT = gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual
<glasnost> GLBT*
<glasnost> GBLT sounds like a sexual deviant sandwich
#7571
<foop> leif is having a party?
<ross_> yeah
<foop> does he know that he's having a party?
<Chieze> of course not
<ross_> he will when the donkeys and cocaine show up
#35941
<pantherqs> y'know
<pantherqs> my chest-mounted expansion pack is starting to bother me, every few months out comes a bigger version
<pantherqs> time to lay off the fucking juice.
#55338
< Da5id> So, this 13 year old kid was bitching about how metallica sold out and stuff and how terrible it was to have your idols become lame when you're his age
< Da5id> my response was, "Yeah man, I know, I remember when metallica sold out when I was your age too"
#13148
[aphr0] do hospitals let you keep the umbilical cord?
[aphr0] I'ma have my kid's cord made into a die
[aphr0] tie
[aphr0] or freeze it and tan it and make it into a cane
[aphr0] give it to my kid when he learns to walk so he can walk around and pimp bitches with his umbilical cord
#47058
<morton> I have a hampster named Bukkake
<jeeves> umm... we were talking about routers
<morton> I know, I just had to get that out there in the open
#3046
<tomg> er I have no comment on this.
<tomg> :P
<Jumper> tomg: afraid of being quoted ? :P
<tomg> no, I'm afraid my mum will find the quotes :P
#25576
* suicide6x packets stikys brain
<suicide6x> Now you are dumb
<Yottabyte> too late
<Yottabyte> Packeting stiky's brain would be like packeting a dial up connection
<Stiky> shut up
<Stiky> more like
<Stiky> 26k now
<Stiky> cause i smoked a bowl
<suicide6x> ha
<suicide6x> exploit!