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#9272
<Murder-Is-Funny> I know this girl who is supposedly kinda anti-social - so she says - and she's mentioned she doesnt go many places or have many friends.. - but when I call her, she's never home - whats that mean?
<Byte^> she has caller-id
#311374
<RIDDL3R> Does anyone know which page in the Bible it explains how to turn water into wine?
Comment: #4chan on Dalnet
#299720
<+anosou> You're like the best man around
<+anosou> If there was a god of some kind, he'd be proud to have made you
<+anosou> If internet was full of women (which it is not) they would sleep with you
<+anosou> If zircon says something is S-tier, you say it isn't
<+anosou> If you were black, the southeners would still like you
<+anosou> If you moved to Japan, you'd become tentacle pope of the world
Comment: #ocremix
#14860
[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] •Necro• ...
#2579
<peng> NOT JUST A PEN
<peng> A LIGHT UP PEN
<peng> IT GLOWED
<peng> IT WAS AWESOME
<peng> IT GAVE ME JOY
<Amanda> SHE WANTED IT AS A TOKEN BY WHICH TO REMEMBER YOU
<peng> I think she used it as a dildo.
#54010
<Sara> I've discovered that there are certain things that I just can't say without people saying "No, it's just not right when you say it"
<Sara> Like I'm too nice and innocent or something :/
<The_Taped_Crusader> sara
<Sara> hmm?
<The_Taped_Crusader> just imagine your dad saying "lol hax" and you'll understand.
<Sara> Oh god
Comment: dchub://404hub.no-ip.com
#8537
<jackal-> someone guess what my cat will type when i drop it on my keyboard
<jackal-> hello i'm a very intelligent cat, save me from my cruel master and free me from this prison
<jackal-> omg
<jackal-> bad cat
#55166
<Hardrive> heh
<Hardrive> customer says to fix their computer so it never breaks again
<Hardrive> i told em you got two things against ya
<Hardrive> one
<Hardrive> its a computer
<Hardrive> two
<Hardrive> you're an idiot
<Hardrive> i kinda lost that job
#1331
<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.
#15733
<FlashMan> nethack is installed
<Jon2> An IRC chick stands in your path. She wears a +5 ring of decreased mental stability.
* sQurl kicks jon2
<sQurl> I AM STABLE GOD DAMN YOU
<sQurl> DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU
<Jon2> The IRC chick attacks. She misses.
#8960
[KodiaK] my definition of back up is move all my porn to the E Drive
#7558
<FlagshipX> damn... i don't want to take a shower... i want to sleep
<thine_cow|PHP|> Flag: then, sleep in the shower!
<FlagshipX> hmm
<thine_cow|PHP|> (i've done it... sure you're all wrinkly but damnnit, you're refreshed all over!)
#76611
<Craig> you wanna go drink?
<Genga> ive no cash
<Genga> im more broke than a...
<Genga> Windows based PC
<Genga> oh god I cant believe I just said that
#2375
(moimau) my net would make your net reverse compile itself, tar.gz itself
(moimau) and upload it back to the server it came from.
(moimau) so sit down.
#310161
<RHExcelion> You know, when I Was a kid, playing oregon trail
<RHExcelion> I'd shoot the damn tumbleweed
<RHExcelion> And wonder why I never got any meat
<Edward_Bebop> you thought the tumbleweed was an animal???
#1520
<studmuffn> one day i will find a way to implant annoying songs in other peoples heads
<studmuffn> it will be my supervillian power
#302537
<sshinji> I've discovered that explaining hexadecimal across the table is a very efficient way to lose your date.
#283592
<Errdoth-AFK> lul
* Errdoth-AFK forces himself to turn the monitor off
<ichai> hey errdoth
<Errdoth-AFK> ?
<ichai> made you type again
<Errdoth-AFK> fuck you
#2564
<Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad, next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media
#1040
<Lou_Ferrigno> I gain $100.000, per month, and i have a z3 im my garage. And im bigger than you, you are subnutrition , hacker stupid
#101382
Varnthegreat: I have to go pee and then fill an empty Gatorade bottle with Mountain Dew.
xtedheadx: Please please please get confused in the middle of doing that.
#216681
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it.
#137652
<Trinexx> Foster brought a client down to the basement today
<Trinexx> I was wearing that fucking hat they decided to make me wear
<Trinexx> my hair in a ponytail
<Trinexx> this shiteating client sees me, thinks I'm a chick
<Trinexx> says "hey baby, are you having fun?"
<Trinexx> I ignore the asswad
<Trinexx> he walks up behind me, puts his hand on my shoulder, and repeats the question
<Trinexx> I turn around, look him dead in the eye, and say in my deepest voice possible "Yeah honey, now that you're here"
<Trinexx> guy nearly jumped out of his skin
#8449
<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :)
#300885
<Dave2> I wonder if it's normal for me to frequently swear at, shake my fist at, and give the middle finger to an inanimate object.
<awilcox> Dave2, your penis?