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#7427
<xetlain> 376 lines of code so far I think
<xetlain> and that took me like 3 hours, lots of yelling, two packets of cigs, 4 liters of coke, and three wanks to get done.

#20253
(syanide): whats a hacking master?
(DownKaos-): syanide: it's one of those guys who drinks a lot of red bull and jerks off to animated porn in his star trek suit

#34527
<scyth> you guys are bash.org mods?
<kisama> nah dude i just play one on IRC
Comment: #geekissues

#11224
<k0reany0> hey it's been long time since I've talked to you.
<Xilokumsh0t> let's meet up and have a beer sometime
<k0reany0> sure.  btw how is your wife nancy doing?
<Xilokumsh0t> her name is suzy
<k0reany0> who cares!

#10809
<Leb> I'VE BLOODY WELL FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAD INTENDED TO DO
<Leb> though i have a sneaking suspicion that it involves an immense iron penis

#55863
< Crew^> i was so nervous when i had to be checked when i joined the army
< Crew^> then i was asked to leave the army because they thought i was too dangerous
< Crew^> only in canada can you be too dangerous to be in the army

#7535
<orb06> something red and semi-opaque
<orb06> said it was "stool softener"
<orb06> Im like wtf
<orb06> I like my stool hard, ma'am
<orb06> and left without it
<orb06> no pain no gain
<orb06> thats what I say

#19068
<LightYear> I would just get a cellphone recharger for the A/C
<|majik|> well
<LightYear> they are cheap if you know where to look.
<|majik|> the one i have sucks
<LightYear> or you can get a 13.5 volt power supply and hooched that to the adapter..
<|majik|> it pissed me off that it i smashed it ;x
<LightYear> oh smashing isn't really good for electronics.
<LightYear> although I have fixed smashed things before.
<LightYear> go buy a new one.
<LightYear> sometimes I have told customers that...  like when something is crap I'll remove a screw from the back and hand it to the customer and say "okay, this is good, replace everything else"

#3697
<Villager> i was really pissed off this morning
<Villager> it was about 9am, i had a free period and i had just bought my breakfast; an egg, bacon & sausage bap, hash browns and a coffee,
<Villager> when the damned fire alarm goes before i've taken a bite
<Joshua> ...
<Joshua> you left the building just because an alarm went off?
<Joshua> with FOOD waiting for you?
<Villager> i put the hash browns in my pocket and carried the bap, but they all got cold
<Villager> i was going to stay but the security guards came round
<Joshua> oh
<Joshua> we don't have security guards just for fire alarms
<Joshua> "ya stay, ya burn" is the official policy i beleive

#19334
DARK-LORD> I got an email and it ahowed this Chinese/Seafood place called ....Fuk Mie. I don't even want to know how they awnser the phone!LOL

#32138
<+x24[java]> an e-mail from our IT guy:
<+x24[java]> I have about 15 small bags of oregano (yeah, it looks like something else, but I swear it's oregano) - if you're interested in one, give me a buzz
Comment: #gideontech

#306057
Cynic: I watched the movie The Prestige today
Cynic: that was really good
FotG: trying to remember what that one is
Cynic: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: yeah actors names.... don't really mean much to me
Cynic: Wolverine and Batman
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: Don't think I've seen any movie like that...

#1055
[!smcn] all my sperm are belong to you
(@jediviper) no they belong to vile remember
[!smcn] he'll probably implant them in his dog and when she has puppies he'll say he's the father
[!smcn] because we all know he's impotent
»» [mode [Vile [ +b *!*smcn@*.bvrtn1.or.home.com ]
»» smcn kicked by Vile (...)

#305962
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.

#766
<ckx> i'd love to become a hit man
<ckx> not because i like killing people
<ckx> just for the nice suits
<ikkenai> and the bitches

#9915
<Jag> I think I'm going to print out the Kama Sutra and label it "TFM" so I can leave it laying around work.
<Jag> Not really, but it would be terribly amusing
<ender> Jag: ROFL!
* ender ponders what the lotus position has to do with X tunneling, but honestly, after reading TFM for a couple minutes, all of a sudden I don't really care about X tunneling....
<Jag> Ahh, here's the section on tunnels... oh my.....

#78733
*Dravas has quit IRC
<Caprisun> im gonna take a video of me fucking that girl he likes
<PS31791> O_O
<PS31791> that would suck
<PS31791> if i saw that
<PS31791> id be like
*Takumi has joined #main
<PS31791> from now on im gonna be gay
<PS31791> ...
<PS31791> Takumi... i can explain...
<Caprisun> XD

#31952
<@Mike[away]> oh awesome!!!!!! I've won a free prize!!!
<@Mike[away]> all i gotta do is give out my email address
<@Mike[away]> and address
<@Mike[away]> and name
<@Mike[away]> and phone number
<@Zero> WERE YOU THE 1000000000000000 VISITOR TOO!?
<@Mike[away]> and social sec number
<@Mike[away]> and shoe size
<@Mike[away]> and penis size
<@Mike[away]> and a few other things

#29797
<@kouha> cordless roxors :D
<+jocke> I had a cordless... it didn't survive my quake playing
<+jocke> too easy to toss
<@kouha> ic..
<+Daisuke> hah, no safety cord
<+jocke> ;)
<+Daisuke> flying mice
<+Daisuke> aren't those bats?

#1693
<Eibii> I'm crossdressing for the next con, thank ye gods. Fewer chunky Star Trek fanboys in bad latex following me around and asking me to dinner, at least. THe joy of sexual alienation...

#4658
<Const> zero's gay?  I just thought he was into porking his cat
<Zero> My cat is a girl :p

#306924
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide?

#41199
<xtraverse> we were thinking about building the shed out of wood
<HerbDX> dude that'd come down faster than my pants at a childrens day out
<HerbDX> oh SHIT that REALLY came out wrong
<xtraverse> you have issues

#5406
*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated.  by the file fairy.  I put a blank CD under my pillow..."'

#310183
<zzo38> Is anyone in here who knows cricket rules and has experience?
<Slereah> What if I told you the baseball rules in a british accent?

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