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#32204
<McBatt> I loved that cailis commercial durring the super bowl, too. Anyone see that? :D
<McBatt> Here's a brief summary: Is your dick not working right? Use Cialis so you'll be ready to fuck anytime within 36 hours after you take it. Side effects may include erections that last FOREVER!!!
<Tarvuz> that would not be good
<McBatt> well, duh
<heap> better then the side effects of olestra
<heap> i'd rather have permawood then anal leakage
<Tarvuz> with permawood you could cause anal leakage in others
<McBatt> hahahahaha
Comment: #fark on irvingnet
#3927
<cornbeef> 8? i didnt even know what a vagina was at 8
<Scofco> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta dish they served in fancy restaurants
#16921
<[11]HannyArZ> hello, where can i buy chanserv? I will trade warez for it
#295930
<Kaichu1> NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Kaichu1> OH MY GOD
<Kaichu1> I just realized something
<Kaichu1> I e-mailed one of my teachers about missing a class last week and how to make up the test
<Kaichu1> He sent back a message of what to do
<Kaichu1> And then ended with kind of a harsh warning about my grades and how it would affect me passing the course
<Kaichu1> He ended the message with jk
<Kaichu1> I just realized that JK are his initials
<Kaichu1> GODDAMMIT
<Kaichu1> I'm so screwed
<Kaichu1> brb, speeding over to the school
#3360
<kolby> i dont think the number of times ive jacked off to britney spears can be calculated
<kolby> it never gets old
<kolby> i think that's what love is
#28884
<@kingmob> oh, yes, the poor downtrodden welsh.
<@kingmob> you'd think they'd be grateful for the occupiers' gift of vowels.
#25179
<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less}
#63578
Turbo Lover GT2: lmao, this dude at the gay pride parade in San Diego, went with jumper cables in his backpack
Turbo Lover GT2: (cuz his motorcycle needed a new battery)
Turbo Lover GT2: and the security guard saw them and hassled him for about an hour straight, making sure he had no piercings anywhere other than his ears
Shin Rawr: haha what the fuck
#57613
<Troglodyte> Dude everyone gets crushes on me until they get to know me
<Troglodyte> I'm so good at faking being awesome at first but then I lose it after a while
<Troglodyte> It's like hula-hooping
<Troglodyte> You can only keep it going for so long before your hips get tired
#52843
(Nick) baaahahahahaahhaahaha
(Nick) my mom just said "the frosty the snowman cartoon is a political allegory for communism"
(Nick) because the magician is refusing to give up his possession for the good of the society
(Nick) and in the end the commies win
#756
<folly> and anyone who tells you you can is a moron.
<folly> (or a windows admin, which amounts to much the same thing)
#300865
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other
#297328
Zous: so the other day on my way to work, I walked by a couple people who were taking a smoke break outside of the building
Zous: as I was walking by I heard one say "You know, I hear Splenda's supposed to be really bad for you"
#34223
<t|to> I practice being a bash.org mod by voting "negative" on all the quotes in the bash.cx queue
#4733
<Guilty> Jees its going to be 48 tomorrow
<Guilty> I thought I was done with waring a jacket
<Guilty> But apparently not
<maff> you go outside?
#74528
ETJ> Okay.
ETJ> My sister is going to be the worst driver ever
ETJ> She was apparently in the parking lot of a church I used to go to practicing.
ETJ> HUge as hell parking lot, completely deserted except for one bus.
Ariana> she hit the bus?
ETJ> She not only crashes into the bus, but crashes into it backing up at 7MPH
Ariana> did she drive away?
ETJ> That's the kicker.
Kyle> ...
ETJ> She freaked out, and stepped on the gas.
ETJ> ...While still in reverse.
#9138
Vahina2002: it was not difficult
Cayen2000: I know but I'm blind in one eye and can't see out the other
#6780
<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of porn!"
#36113
<uidzer0> i'm fucking outta here.. peace!
<-- uidzer0 has quit (Quit: BitchX: try our Windows 95/98 and Windows NT 4 flavors too!)
--> uidzer0 (~uidzer0@68.101.43.169) has joined #solaris
<uidzer0> i do not condone or endorse my last quit message.
<uidzer0> that's all. peace
<-- uidzer0 has quit (Client Quit)
#7776
<u238|duhasst> right now if you put me in a round room and told me to piss in a corner.. my blader would explode
#302849
<Thinpy> Well, my first day at work didn't go at all well.
<Thinpy> Even though I'm probably the only competent IT person there
<Thinpy> well, as you might know I've been unemployed and living in my own place for three months
<Thinpy> in that time i have adjusted to living in a... relaxed environment
<Thinpy> for example, i have been wearing mostly loose-fitting sweatpants
<Thinpy> so when I need to drain the ol' bladder
<Thinpy> i have perfected a move at home by which I yank 'em down and start peeing in one fluid (lol) motion
<Thinpy> today at work I needed to pee and went into the work toilets
<Thinpy> since I was alone in there I kinda instinctively used the move
<Thinpy> only to discover that work pants, held up by a belt, do not come off as easily as my sweatpants might
<Thinpy> and I urinated copiously into my pants.
#6054
<kingmob> someone broke into our apartment once
<kingmob> he didn't take anything
<kingmob> he left a ten dollar bill
<Guyver3> did he leave money?
<Guyver3> hahahaha
<kingmob> i am *so* not shitting
<kingmob> that ruined my whole week
<kingmob> plus, my dipshit roommate spent the ten bucks
#44030
<sidewinder> has he ever looked at M theory?
<Alliance> the theory that M likes to kick me?
Alliance was kicked from #homeworld by m (i think this is called a 'proof')
#917
e l i t e m r p: afk, working on my invention
n e r d b 5: invention.....uhm, whats it do?
e l i t e m r p: converts piss into drinking water
e l i t e m r p: so far, still tastes yucky
#14239
*** Quits: cuebal (Most parents would hope that that their offspring yearn to become doctors, lawyers, or even a journalist, but these days all kids want to be is Pikachu..)