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#43969
<sektie> my boyfriend, in mid thrust, stops and goes "oops" and gets a sheepish look on his face.
<sektie> NOT A GOOD APRIL FOOLS.
#17091
<Cyberllam> today has been about nothing but good news
<Cyberllam> earlier i found out that I was pregnant with twins
<juntog> are they mine?
<HaLLowCat> they better not be
<Cyberllam> no, but they can be, for the low, low price of 3 low payments of 29.95 each
#25569
<aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was roleplaying a prostitute
<Kiger> lol
<Kiger> you did that aich?
<aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
<aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head for money
#39771
zakalwefrombetfair: hey - i bought a jar of expensive hazelnut coffee today
Kath : you dont usually?
zakalwefrombetfair: no - i hought i'd treat myself
Kath : is it good?
zakalwefrombetfair: its fucking horrible
#6758
<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .:: -
<Kilroy`> well, all I saw was the top of her head
<Kilroy`> I wonder if I'll recognize her if I meet her again
<Kilroy`> .....
<dh> Kilroy`: I guess you'll just have to make every chick you meat give you head
<dh> err meet
<dh> but then, meat works too
#69953
<jon> shit... im sittin here tryin to get info about Tool for my class presentatin, and 40 mins later here i am reading about woody allen, history of fonts, and the temptations of jesus of nazareth
<jon> stupid wikipedia, be less organized!
#30857
<FireEgl> I'm hurngy.
<tito> why don't you eat your dick
<FireEgl> nah, I'm saving it for emergencies.
#32389
<ruumis> someone spiked my morning coffee with HATE
#57383
weird_aunt_martha: ok...so I'm at work today...
weird_aunt_martha: I sneezed. And there's a guy across the wall from me, in a different department. And he hollers over the cube wall 'Martha? My conference call says bless you'
#300997
<Cylene> Why're they called boobies?
<Cylene> they should be called yaybies!
#58994
<rm-fr> jesus fuck, my ass has been like Celine Dion's mouth all damn day
<DesScorp> wrapped around her husband's cock?
<Verjigorm> Sitting beneath an ENORMOUS nose?
<rm-fr> randomly spewing out copious amounts of crap
<rm-fr> I'm not sure I care for the implications of either of your answers
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#13404
<@rtav> CaptainX, It is considered outdated and sexist to refer to your barbecue with "her"
<@rtav> CaptainX, Unless it is an erotic barbecue with the erotic feature set of a woman.
<@rtav> Then I propose that you are confusing a hooker with a barbecue.
<@rtav> To determine once and for all whether you are dealing with a barecue or a hooker, simply light it on fire.
<@rtav> If it runs, you are dealing with a hooker.
<@rtav> If it does not, you are either dealing with a barbecue or a dead hooker.
#56346
<issuez> FYI
<issuez> dicks sporting goods website isnt dicks.com
Comment: #geekissues
#21634
<Chojin_> I mean I'm STILL insulted that she saw me just as a walking dildo
<bngrybt> heh
<bngrybt> yeah that's what tisha thought of me i think
<CommanderStab> I'd be insulted at that Chojin, but only that she acutally BELIEVED she could get away with it
<bngrybt> cuz jody asked her what she liked about me and the first thing she said was practically "well his dick's like 8 inches long!
#303479
<Tom> Guys, I just pulled the best prank ever, took 2 months to do the whole thing.
<Matt> ... Go on?
<Charlie> what was it?
*** Joins: Craig
<Craig> Fuck guys, James died.
<Matt> What the fuck?! How?
<Craig> Noone knows, a midget found him dead in his bathroom apparently.
<Craig> He is up there on the suspect list.
*** Quits: Tom (Ermm.. sleep)
<Craig> That'll teach the prick to hide midgets in my bathroom.
*Craig is now known as James
#311142
<l0de> oh shit that "walked over my grave" feeling when someone's IRC nickname is your root password
#13731
<Otto[half-a-always]> I made AI smarter than George W. Bush with 47 events
#53335
<frosty-theaussie> "i dont know. we just dont celebrate christmas like you do... we actually remember why christmas is here, not just to give gifts"
<frosty-theaussie> if someone said that to you
<frosty-theaussie> youd think that theyre attacking you for not celebrating christmas like devout christians do, wouldnt you?
<HoneyBunny> wtf is the point of christmas without gifts?
<HoneyBunny> thats like religion without blatant lies and weak unrealistic stories
#54624
Dizzy: so i was talking to my bro down in his room right
Dizzy: and i look down and see an empty condom wrapper
Dizzy: and he knows i see it
Jak: lol
Dizzy: he goes "i bought them just in case, and i tested one"
Dizzy: what does he mean by "tested"???
Jak: oh god
#5701
<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it?
#17993
* Elysian changes topic to 'Metallica is the best thing to happen to pop since Micheal Jackson'
#25201
(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, & worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P
#7331
*** Double0 has quit IRC (Penguins are Fat, Slow, and Dumb,... Windows are Rigid, Fragile, and Breakable .)
<Pingu> Hey!
<Pingu> Im a penguin!
#47143
<hdx> There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
<hdx> When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
<hdx> He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Comment: #linuxgeneration
#2166
<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure for two nights' worth of air attacks