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#1585
<vortex502> 3+5
<vortex502> oops
<vortex502> thought i had the calculator prog. open
#101382
Varnthegreat: I have to go pee and then fill an empty Gatorade bottle with Mountain Dew.
xtedheadx: Please please please get confused in the middle of doing that.
#5942
<DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.
#309682
(Apsu) My biological clock says 12:00 and blinks.
#8887
<GoodScrat> how's the humanoid with the wet crotch doing?
<Zygote-> and hill billy slang
<Zygote-> haha
<Zygote-> you mean my wife?
#2474
<Server_X> i need to take my modem out tonight
<Server_X> is it true that you have to wax your modem if it is a 56k once every month?
#15641
<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!
#23172
sidacola: AH MAW GAWD.
CrayonBreakyWill: What??
sidacola: My grandmother came over and started reading about the threesomes and stuff and Ic ouldn't change the window because of icon porn...
CrayonBreakyWill: ............... roflmao
sidacola: *sobs*
sidacola: I think she read 'cartoon vibrators'.
#294688
<@malphas> I got stuck with the same prof for this linux course
<@malphas> as the last one
<@malphas> the same one who, halfway through the course, just stopped responding altogether so he could focus on his off-hours mailing list.
<@malphas> The first assignment:
<@malphas> Scenario:
<@malphas> The new CIO just transferred over from the finance department and during your first meeting says "My golf buddy was telling me about something called a seven layer model. Maybe we should get some of them for our network, What do you think?" You politly explain that the model is not a product and you will send a memo explaining what it is.
<@malphas> I'm *sorely* tempted to write mine from the perspective of a true Admin. Someone who realizes the opportunity presented here to obtain new hardware for future use.
#13065
<Rice_Boy> look at the sys requirements for interdev: www.free-trial-sex.com
<Rice_Boy> er... http://msdn.microsoft.com/vinterdev/prodinfo/sysreq.asp
<iheartsql> HAHAHAHAHA
<iheartsql> HAHAHAHAHA
<iheartsql> PRON HEAD
<Rice_Boy> my bad
<Rice_Boy> damn
#300379
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: These faults are known as dip slips.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: The dip slip has a slot, called the dip slip keyhole.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: The hanging wall is thrust upwards into the keyhole in the reverse dip slip fault.
<Asaph> That last one is NOT real.
<Pryo[Geo110]> it is, and I swear to god, this is the best class in the history of classes.
<Pryo[Geo110]> A 90 year old man just said "Dip Slip" over 50 times in under 5 minutes, in a completely legitimate scientific lecture. My life is complete.
#7312
<aegis> my penis fits in electrical sockets!
#37376
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die
#3222
<mxman> i think some people have non sensitive cocks
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> you know its bad when your hand goes numb while you're pouding it
#31429
<CrzyViper> What's the McDeal at Mcdonalds today?
<Vulcan> McDeal?
<CrzyViper> yeah they have a special every day of the week... here in canada.. and it's wicked
<Lumpy|hereish> McMadCow Burger
#2680
~ frOsty- giggles.. in a manly, tesrosterone-filled sort of way.
#300358
<Fax> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapeseed
<Fax> because if you write nutrition information labels for a living you need to get your kicks from somewhere
<Fax> I'd totally do stuff like "Polyethylene Monosodium Carbonate (Vitamin A, Vitamin B4, Vitamin lol this doesn't even exist I just made it up...but let's see you eat it NOW. Man I can't believe you're even still reading this. Go outside.)"
<lolfighter> Vitamin lol DOES exist.
<lolfighter> It was an experimental food additive developed in the very late 70s.
<lolfighter> By the early 80s a few human experiments had been made.
<lolfighter> My mother was strapped for cash, so she participated.
<lolfighter> She didn't know she was pregnant at the time.
<lolfighter> I was the result.
<lolfighter> The records were sealed after that and all research abandoned.
#30167
* OverlordQ changes topic to 'Forget Bayes, We need the Stalin Mail Filter (TM) -- it detects spam, hunts down the spammer, and exiles them to Siberia.'
#1739
<Slyfox> I want to make a FPS that mixes the geo-mod techonology of Red Faction, the finesse and action of Max Payne, the gore and damage map feature in Soldier of Fortune, and the story and intrigue of Half-Life. I'll call it "Can't Fuck With This".
#301267
<segosa> hey guys, let's write a befunge program
<segosa> i'll go first
<segosa> > v
<shawnz> ^
<shawnz> oops
#34231
<medium> crrj, i complained to my help desk last night at my class about not being able to use linux on their network
<medium> and i got yelled at for installing linux, they said "it corrupts laptop hard drives, it fills it with useless data"
<medium> lol
<GyPSY> lol
<medium> AND it kept booting to linux
<medium> and he said he couldn't boot from a floppy
<medium> because i had a bootloader installed (lilo)
<medium> even though in stark contrast on the boot menu, one of the options clearly says "floppy"
<GyPSY> haha
<+crrj-working> Sounds like you need a new school.
<medium> I agree
<medium> i am disappointed w/ the one i am at
* +crrj-working hands medium a clue-by-four and a clue-bat for applying LARTs with both hands.
Comment: Sometimes 'help desks' means the people working it need help.
#8218
<DotSPF> just got myself a shitload more lesbo porn
<killck> good?
<DotSPF> damn they have so much more fun when we're not around
#40740
<mohadib> so anyone got any suggestions for a good mysql disaster recovery plan?
<Toxik> mohadib, erm.. you go rm -rf / and then reinstall linux/gentoo r11 with 2.6.8 kernel and install mysqld?
<mohadib> ok so you got the disaster... now how do i recover?
#40953
<@Goremageddon> when i told you i dared my friend to suck the tit of a dead lady
<@Goremageddon> in the morgue
<@CHUMAHUE> yah that one was awesome
<@iTERATiON> did he?
<@Goremageddon> yes
<@iTERATiON> OMFG
<@Goremageddon> we all gave him 100 bucks
Comment: #blackdeath-cult
#33081
(fleet): I had a bad sexual experience last night
(fleet): I cut my penis on a jagged vagina
(nme): that wasn't a vagina, I told you to stop fucking those goddamn pepsi cans