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#302907
hawq: link to news story "chair-maims-girl-by-anal-penetration"
Orange_Ribbon: caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode
Orange_Ribbon: WHAT!?!?!?v Gas Cylinder!!
Manoel: Why would they need a gas cylinder in the chair?
Skynet: I was under the assumption that's how gas lift chairs worked, with a gas cylinder.
FetusChrist: Guess what I have in common with a chair
Zoidberg: Explosive gas?
#28301
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!"
#18895
<Swank> I really only use lisp these days for scriptin tools for emacs
<Fedaykin> you used the e word
<Swank> if my editor can't make me breakfast it isn't useful enough
<Fedaykin> ehehe
<Fedaykin> if my editor can make me breakfast, it's ass needs to be in the kitchen
#2790
(enojy) next time i post a link, please refrain from clicking it if you are still using a 6-year old method of connecting to the internet
#8409
<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a festering pile of its screaming kin.
<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able to interact with it
#30104
<steve> i woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, face down on the bed, and felt as though i would burst.. and a flatulent event erupted forth quickly and silently and lasted for many many seconds
<steve> and i felt deflated..i felt the insides touching together again
<steve> and promptly fell asleep
<steve> my body was giving me a gift with that wakefulness
<adam> hahaha
<Mackay> that's a beautiful way of saying "i farted in bed"
Comment: #hatelife
#1346
* Sakura02 rips Brentai in half and stabs one half with the other half. >:(
#11526
<futard> IS YOUR NAME
<futard> NICK BECKER?
<strangury> no.
<futard> ok good
<futard> beacuse then you'd be me
<futard> and that'd be awkward
#31905
<FlintDB> OMG EW
<FlintDB> I just saw my brothers dick )=
<Rampage> And we needed to know this?
<icy_1> what, he turned the light on?
<Krhl> is it bigger than yours?
<CoB> thats a neat trick
<CoB> he must have one of those ass cameras
<FlintDB> god
<FlintDB> my brothers cock is HUGE
<Blue_Sky> wtf
<Rampage> .....yea
*** Ironballs changed topic to [23:33] <FlintDB> im a man fan <FlintDB> my brothers cock is HUGE
<FlintDB> fucking shit
<FlintDB> whole topic is gonna be me posting gay shit
<Ironballs> its not like we're making quotes up
<FlintDB> yer pulling them out of someones ass!
<icy_1> pulling them out of your ass, along with your brothers cock
#2916
<{SaTaN}> GOD DAMN IT SUN OF A BITCH STOP CALLING ME SANTA IT IS "SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!"
<DaRkShaMe> hi santa
#5410
* Praetor takes a piss right in the middle of the channel
* andy slashes Prae's penis off.
<andy> That takes better vision than you might think.
#29865
<parke> [Complimetary system scan] WARNING NEXT.GEN.BLASTER.WORM FOUND! VISIT http://www.microsoft-security-alert.bl.am/ for anti-virus patch.
<Plex> *Click*
<Plex> woah! thanks, that looks serious, brb, Its asking me to reboot.
#16730
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'
#2026
<DMC[hi]> IF i had a nickel for everytime a black man tried to have sex with me.... i could have built a house made out of nickels in the middle of the woods to secretly masturbate about black men having sex with me
#6246
* Cerebus laughs evilly under appropriately spooky lighting as lightning strikes and thunder explodes outside around the High Tower of jadecore on top of Elitist Bastard Mountain in the Kingdom of Fuck.
#4378
<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap
#9172
<coldacid> someone poured cleaner into the toilet bowl
<coldacid> now when i piss
<coldacid> i get the smell of cleaner instead of urine
<nover> damn that has to suck
<coldacid> and the normal pee-bubbles look like cleaner bubbles
<keerus> things must be rough for ou coldacid
<coldacid> yes
<coldacid> next thing you know, i'll be bathed and wearing fresh clothing
#4319
<josho> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
#28748
<azmo> !fact
<stackman> Random Fact: MICHAEL JACKSON WAS BLACK
#77824
[JaMiNkLe] i am retarded.. trying to install Linux on my old dual 800 and it wont boot from the cd i tried everything then just after looking in the bios for the last time i went to open the cd drive to smash the fucking cd and it was upside down wasn't it >.<
#15787
<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
<Chibi-Trunks> iunno
<SiZZuRp> the lottery
#24238
'mouth: Channel Spike Lee and shit'll really hit the fan.
Mach5: Okay, in this scene, you're approached by a crackhead who's offering you a blowjob in exchange for money to buy a cheeseburger.
Mach5: And, action.
'mouth: I immediately run and go home to comfort my inner turmoil with a crack pipe.
Mach5: Cut. You're hopeless.
'mouth: Up yours. I'm an artist.
Mach5: Wait, I'll channel Paul Verhoeven.
Mach5: In this scene, you're approached by a crackhead, who is subsequently beatdown by a threesome of busty, lusty bisexuals, who proceed to offer you a blowjob in exchange for a cheeseburger.
'mouth: Are we digging for bash material or cybering at this point?
Mach5: I've lost track. A/S/L?
#2904
<Berzerker> they gave christopher reaves a standing ovation
<Berzerker> and like
<Berzerker> he cant even stand up
<Berzerker> so hes like
<Berzerker> wtf
#51190
<RPharazon> I was reading a rather nice article about suicide, and what the consequences were.
<GoneWacko> Well, generally, you die.
#43593
<Mediator> You know what would be hawt?
<Mediator> Lindsey lohan in a full master chief outfit
<Bonzi> You are by far the person least likely to ever have sex in this channel
Comment: irc.rscheatnet.com #rscheatnet