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#2328
<TeamsterX> man watching 6 MSCE's around a sun box, looks alot like the opening scene's of 2001:space odyssey and the monkey's with the monolith
#53593
iReima: That reminded me of that one time
iReima: where I wanted to get this job at a kiosk, selling phones
iReima: the guy was all like
iReima: "Alright, how old are you?"
iReima: "....19. NO WAIT, 20!"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Lmao
iReima: "...I'm not gonna get the job, am I?"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Yeah, I did that during one interview
MitsukaiSiryuse: I stared at the guy
MitsukaiSiryuse: And went ".....Uh......"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "Hold on, let me calculate it real quick...1985......17"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "I should just walk out, shouldn't I?"
iReima: We fail, my friend
#2973
<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice
#18438
<rastie> Jit Did you know you and me have 5 balls combined
<jitspoe> rastie: you only have 2 balls?
#11389
<Cu-Ius> 'in an interview recently Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards, said that kids should not do drugs. Keith, we can't do any more drugs, because you already fucking did them all. We have to wait until YOU die, then smoke your ashes"
#23733
<Peeps> You and me baby, we're like 13 and 37...
<Peeps> Together we're 1337!
#38173
* Ozmo thinks half the sound effects in DBZ are done by shoving large stones up the rear ends of the voice actors and then telling them to try to get them out without using their hands...
Comment: #anime-shack
#26282
mzazchw: just then i felt my side
mzazchw: and i was like "why do i have a scab???"
mzazchw: then i looked at it
mzazchw: .............................
mzazchw: .... it was dried cum
#23234
<arc> sigh
<arc> im locked outa my house
<arc> and i have to take a hue shit
<BurntAsh> ... yet he can still access the internet.. WTG Neo!
#1774
<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction
#37188
<Rjx> I think I'm going to print off a few pamphlets for people who are under 18 and have had a kid
<Rjx> entitled "so you've ruined your life"
<Rjx> "and your vagina"
Comment: #geekissues
#52003
<Sp3cial> well ok, shitty computer, I'd better not bump the desk or you might start making heaps of noise.
<Sp3cial> an smell like smoke...
<Sp3cial> HOLY FUCK SHIT FUCK
<Sp3cial> OH DEAR GOD FIRE SHIT
#32980
<Oreoz> it was dark dammit
<Oreoz> i was laughing about something you said
<DAVO> sick
<Oreoz> then all of a sudden
<DAVO> hahaha
<Oreoz> WHOOOO
<Oreoz> WTF
<Oreoz> SOMETHIGNS UP MY ASS
#14581
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
#4809
*** Now talking in #bible
<Synial> Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a realistic image of the full Jesus! Is he hung like his dad? FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!
#12291
<Hurricane> I wonder if the Banner people would be offended if I started a
little project that would require about 400 inserts per second
on the Oracle server.
<Krinberry> Easy way to find out, Bran :)
<Hurricane> Yes! Exploration through experimentation is what a University
is all about, after all. :)
<Gord> They mean pot and orgies, not database hosing! (:
#31945
<MrThePlague> my thumb hurts..
<MrThePlague> hehe
<usrbingeek> don't stick it so far up your ass then
#20496
<illiterat> I'm gonna install linux on my laptop. it comes with XP home, but XP's going to be homeless soon as UPS delivers it.
#297299
< juliaNYC> a tanning bed is like a huge ezbake oven right?
#6773
<jabroni77> ANY FEMALES NOT BLOND 120 POUNDS AND MODEL LIKE??? ON THE NET?
#20164
<KJ> I was in a shop in Britain, when an American tourist in front of me tried to pay for something in US dollars. The shop keeper politely told her that this was Britain, and you can't use U.S. dollars here. The lady replied... "But I had no problems in other third world countries"
#61310
< niteshad> Every so often, a van from Corporate will pull up and drop off a load of gear that's surplus, overstock and returns.
< niteshad> Can't be sold as new so they give it to the employees.
< paul> hah
< niteshad> The only caveat is that they don't want to see us selling it on ebay, etc.
< niteshad> However, giving it to friends is perfectly acceptable in Corporate's eyes.
< paul> can you give it away in exchange for sexual favors?
< niteshad> They didn't say anything explicitly forbidding that so, I assume the answer is yes.
< paul> awesome
< paul> well...
< niteshad> That said, paul, in your case, the answer is no.
#33366
<CaRaB3lla> god des..i love seeing you so bitchy!
<DesScorp> I know
<DesScorp> makes you horny, doesn't it?
<CaRaB3lla> makes me want to bend you over a barrel and have my way with you
<DesScorp> my asshole itches with anticipation
<DesScorp> wait
<DesScorp> that's the clap
<DesScorp> never mind
<KArmA-> I can see where you'd be confused
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#176553
< nitrogen> who played tony stark in the new iron man?
< curgoth> Robert Downey Jr.
< curgoth> best choice for an alcoholic ego-maniac evar
< Novel> I thought that would be charlie sheen
< jose_> i thought that was gw bush
< curgoth> ok, but no one is going to believe charlie sheen playing a genius
< curgoth> and, um, ditto
< curgoth> imagine either sheen or bush uttering the line "if my math is right - and it always is..."
#81636
<wasabi> 0_0
<wasabi> gonna be one fucker of a day
<jeeb> howso?
<wasabi> walked past the server room...
<wasabi> The boss was sitting in there with a box of sphagetti noodles...
<wasabi> slowly pushing one in at a time into the server fan on an old P3 system
<wasabi> giggling like a school girl while the fan made this horrendously loud, high-pitched sawing sound
<wasabi> noodle shrapnel flying back at his black suite (covered in it)
<wasabi> That's why...
<jeeb> 0_0