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#27748
<snag> in my dreams it was like i was dreaming as normal but i kept getting pron popups.. heh as if i was watching a movie in full screen then all the sudden .. XXXPASS 4 FREE!
<BombScare> thats cause you always jerk off to the free preivew section of porn sites before you go to bed
#52648
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof.
#32121
<pigeon-mirk> if i was davey, my name would be katarina.
<pigeon-mirk> err, not davey
<pigeon-mirk> russian
#8440
<Excession> I'm getting seven figures. "FUCK ALL"
#7292
<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away :)
#2898
<XxDeThxX> thats what the sperm whales do..they check out the females then all the males rub against eachother til they spooge
#10110
<kinijima> why do they keep programming labs so fucking cold?
<aalti> so the computers don't get over heated?
<kinijima> so what the fuck did the people do back when there was no air conditioning?
<aalti> you're a fucking idiot.
#4502
<Khross|Zzz> You can't have my precious cock ring.
<nilBnW|Zzz> You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead cock!!
#154850
<@Genesis`> Dr Phil said: Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
<@Genesis`> i cant bend over that far :(
#35122
<Defiled> ok.. im 21 and female, im also bisexual.. but the bad thing is that since i was about 13 (when i discovered the internet) i love looking at porn, especially really disgusting things like animals and incest and masterbate to it using objects from around the house. i also used to let my dog lick between my legs. i feel disgusted that i enjoy things like this.. no one knows about it and i would die if anyone i knew found ou
<Defiled> I have to find out the address!
Comment: #geekissues (pasted entry is from grouphug.us)
#52843
(Nick) baaahahahahaahhaahaha
(Nick) my mom just said "the frosty the snowman cartoon is a political allegory for communism"
(Nick) because the magician is refusing to give up his possession for the good of the society
(Nick) and in the end the commies win
#23818
<bLanKer> omg my right hand hurts alot
<bLanKer> what is it called?
<bLanKer> when ur hands hurt b/c of repetative motion?
<|404notfound> masturbation
#2921
(Fungus): idler, define " life " please :)
(Idler): Fungus: Life is the thing that grows in my fridge
(Idler): Starting to get really big now
(Idler): Might have to kill it some day
(NX): did u try to eat it?
(Idler): NX: No, that's what I should have done a long time ago
#308441
< Botje> daemon: the sooner we can kill off ftp the better
< daemon> Botje, what do you think for its replacement? scp
< spider-mario> webdav?
< Botje> sftp
< Botje> or the clown.
< apeiron> clown?
< Botje> cloud
< Botje> i mentally replace one by the other, makes marketingspeak a lot more interesting :]
#2647
<d1giPhux> ME AND TYL0R WILL HIJACK ALL THEIR CAMELS
<sm0ke> and crash them into tents
#29514
<jebus> brb, sex
#44127
<ThreeWork> man I love the theoretical situations we propose around here
<ThreeWork> my boss proposes "You're coming into the parking lot and your
brakes fail. The AR lady (who's REALLY bitchy and pissed me
off my second day here) and the facilities lady (who's so
fucking mean she literally can't keep a facilities handyman
here more than 3 months) are crossing the parking lot. Which
one do you hit?"
<ThreeWork> So I think for a moment, then respond "I handbrake slide and
hit both of them."
#56416
<DietPop> ahahha my neighbor is a dumbass
<DietPop> a couple weeks ago he was getting ready to bbq and i was outside walking my dog, and i saw him putting lighter fluid on it
<DietPop> i'm looking at him and i say "doug i think you're using too much lighter fluid on that grill"
<DietPop> he's like "well the charcoal is moist from the rain last month so i need more fluid on it"
<DietPop> i could have told him that it'd probably do fine, but instead i said "yeah, you're probably right"
<DietPop> i think he finished off the bottle, strikes a match..
<DietPop> the next thing i see is a good sized fireball which singes most of the hair on his head
<DietPop> he freaks out and knocks over the grill...spills out on the lawn and the lawn catches on fire
<DietPop> i'm laughing so hard i could barely run over there and hose him and the lawn down
<DietPop> best day ever
<DietPop> to top it off, yesterday he brought home a new propane grill
#15562
<Tobal> looks like the UK is working to make pot a non-arestable offence
<ssrit> I'd move there.
<ssrit> Where is that?
#17023
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know
#3689
<Valathar> No matter how depressed you are.... there is NOTHING that can't be fixed by titties.
#27473
<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to go hiking, but I'd have to get up...
#13254
<Arno> i got kicked off a cray at school for running "pine"
#311086
<hep> the children actually get mad at me a lot because i wont pay attn to them
<hep> MOM
<hep> PAY ATTN TO ME ONLINE
<hep> LOOK AT MY MEMES
<hep> LIKE MY SELFIES
<hep> like jfc kid
<hep> i have an online life too you know
<hep> this original content dont post itself
#32007
<lumina> would you tape a broken nuclear warhead together
<mnk> because they didnt have any super glue
<mnk> i mean think about it