Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#33081
(fleet): I had a bad sexual experience last night
(fleet): I cut my penis on a jagged vagina
(nme): that wasn't a vagina, I told you to stop fucking those goddamn pepsi cans
#14833
--> guest (~SportsCar@166.111.6.93) has joined #lgl
* guest ´ó½Ð£º¾ÈÃü°¡£¡ ¾ÈÃü°¡£¡
<khalek> you seem to be a little mixed up
<khalek> this is not #perl
#6132
<HrdwrBoB> un.. what's rl?
<un> isn't that what happens when you type brb?
<HrdwrBoB> no that's when I get food
#32468
--- irc.freenode.net has changed the topic to: WELCOME TO FREENODE. THAT'S NOT MAYONNAISE.
#8256
<BounceWithMe> Shagman... 8==o suck it.
<@shagman> BounceWithMe... ())========D choke on it.
#12070
<Meeko-Priest> I was talking to a pimpin' ghost with my friends Lisa and Candace.
<Meeko-Priest> "Are you there?" Ouija Board: NO "Why not?" Ouija Board: SEX "Oh. Goodbye"
#283999
<steuy> i'm looking for Hitchcock's movies
<alen> lol, it's Hancock, stupid
#63373
<@Swishy> i knew this one cat
<@Swishy> that would always sit with his crotch against the radiator
<@Swishy> turns out
<@Swishy> they didn't need to neuter him
#8604
<Atg[M]> Their latest album was going to be called " You are gay" and the cover was going to be a mirror.
#297991
<nim> I remember having to rma classified harddrives when I was in the navy :P
<nim> it was like
<nim> nim> yeah, your hdd's broke
<nim> dell> ok ship them back
<nim> nim> can't, they are classified
<nim> dell> ?!?!
<nim> eventually dell agreed to let me keep the platters
<nim> and just ship them the case
<nim> and the motor
#1075
<acestus> Maarken: Bah, briefs-wearer.
<acestus> You might as well run EMACS.
#30362
<@Drag-oN> twinkie? oO
<@Zeromecha> Twinkie, the only food tough enough to survive a nucular blast
<@Drag-oN> it contains roaches? OO
#2015
<Digested> cool :)
<Digested> you have a gf that knows how to download mp3s
<madog> ya
<madog> and email
<qvr> That's nothing.. I had this goldfish....
#31891
<Derfud> what?
<Derfud> Goatse is dead!?
<Derfud> nooooooooooooooo
<LongHairedHippy> yes
<LongHairedHippy> i cried
<Derfud> the internet's favourite dialated anus is gone...
Comment: # desertcombat on gamesnet. RIP goatse
#19414
[gossip] <Vellius> ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how to speak english
#154996
<sungo> I love resumes.
<sungo> Folks, fucking proofread your resumes.
<sungo> This guy has been a web developer since Aug 2997
<cat-xeger> sungo - novel...
<drforr> I didn't know they will have had web in 2997...
<sungo> if we still have php in 2997, I'm setting off the nukes RIGHT NOW
#35801
<Tres|Status> eh, i can't find a job because i spend too much time reading bash.org
#35289
<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube
#15680
<PetrDoubt> Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail filter to deal with
employee farewell notices.
#303089
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/
#37382
<z80> lets be helpfull
<z80> and intelligent
<z80> and maybe arrive at some truth most ppl miss
<SabrWolf> u could also just shutup
#82761
<bebop> watch hentai
<bebop> and take notes
<pingu> i was hospitalized once for trying something i saw in a hentai
#299911
< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> .....not what I meant.
#33713
<+x24[java]> damnit. i just cheesed my fresh from the drier pants
<@BalefireX> cheesed?
<+x24[java]> a macaroni escaped from the fork and left it's mark with cheese on my pants
<@BalefireX> ah
<@BalefireX> just checking it wasnt slang for defecation
Comment: #gideontech
#309228
<arieldanielle> There's an apartment complex in which a dead girl was found recently
<arieldanielle> Now they have a sign outside advertising "killer leasing specials"