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#1332
<D1> today, I started the supermodel diet.
<maff> that must be a step up from the all sperm diet you were on

#50267
<Klassh> strange, my left hand is warm, but my right hand is cold..
<killjoy> take left hand out of pants.
<killjoy> put right hand in pants.

#296664
< carbine> Go act mature somewhere else. This is the internet buddy.

#297669
<@baka> anyone here ever eaten sushi off a naked woman?
<Sloshed> no thanks
<@baka> i'm intrigued
<@Sadrak> I'd volunteer to do the dishes

#148127
<+MK> Dude, like, 90% of all people use shared or dynamic IPs
<+Nabaztag> MK: I don't.
<+Nabaztag> My ISP doesn't do that.
<+Syniphas> that's like saying "My girlfriend wouldn't cheat on me"

#8315
<Offline> i still cant bleave people dont know what a fudgepacker is
<Log> I do, Zack
<Log> my friend's fiancee is a fudgepacker :o
<`Zerp> they work at candy factoryies right log
<Log> HE PACKS FUDGE AT THE COLORADO FUDGE THINGY
* Offline pounds his head on his desk

#106178
fluffyjim: an plus at da end of the show dey all start rollin round on da fall avin a seizer with tubby custard spuwin outta der mouth
sheady: english, type in english, netspeak is not tolerated here.
fluffyjim: floor*

#310484
<Phase4> "Reaching out to more and more gamers, Minecraft developers are planning to include subtitles for the convenience of people who have the inability to hear."
<Quora> "hisss"
<Quora> "ugh"
<Sanchal> "Clank"
<Phase4> "boom"
<Quora> "whack"
<Sanchal> "tinktinktink"
<Phase4> "mooo"
<Quora> "bawk"
<Kopachris> "zoop"
<Quora> "kodak film"

#86852
<jeeves> so we got these new sliding filing shelfs put in today
<jeeves> and a bud was grabbing some files, so he hit the latch to slide the shelf over
<jeeves> pushing it against some other shelfs
<jeeves> so i ran and stood inbetween the closing shelfs
<jeeves> and shouted "Shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level!- No, all of them!"
<jeeves> naturally, my bud was startled and stopped
<jeeves> so I started laughing my ass off and walked out of the filing room
<jeeves> nobody got the joke :(
<op> dude you're a geek
<jeeves> i know

#3594
<mightyflo> they keep all interesting stuff from entering the country i live in
<mightyflo> and at the same time, flood it with total crap
<Slant> mightyflo: It's a conspiracy to make us stupid.
<Reo> and it's too late for many of us

#299450
<Travis> dang IRC is still laggin like a *****
<FoH> and stars are mighty lagged, being light years away

#299714
<Tkavil> I have to type up a speech of my life
<Tkavil> about 2 minutes long in french
<DerKapitan> bonjour. bon nombre d'entre vous ne me connaissent pas. Je voudrais partager quelques choses. Je n'ai jamais su quel genre j'ai voulu pour être, ainsi vous pourriez dire que je suis niether. au moins après la chirurgie le mois prochain.
<DerKapitan> there. your speech is written.
<Tkavil> let me translate that
<Tkavil> hello. many of you do not know me. Let me share a few things. I never knew what kind I wanted to be, so you could say I am niether. at least after the surgery next month.
<Tkavil> ......

#7418
<[KoG]^Deeshay> I'll beat you when I get a modem that isnt controlled by a rat in a wheel

#28354
<Corster> ops plz?
<Anaxis|workin`> what do i get out of it?
<Corster> gay cybor sex
<Anaxis|workin`> Deal.
Comment: #sf

#13592
* Thirty-nothingster will kick the next person who spoils
<Pong64> Darth Vader is Luke's father. =D

#41000
<Rogue> A few weeks ago my youngest came running out of the bedroom, using his underwear as a gun holdster, pulled out the gun, shot me with the little suction cup thing, then said "Gimme your money". Tell me that isn't a smart kid. It kills his victim before robbing them. Less of a struggle.
<frostyfx> wow you are a good father
Comment: #ug/irc.alternatenet.net

#19322
GypsyJr> I can imagine the script for an average porn movie.. two pages long with size 16 font :>

#34219
<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err.

#13925
<@Jamie_M> a log that proves ZXD bought his girlfriend at wal mart
<@Jamie_M> THIS COULD BE FUN

#28340
<meeps> i saved a girls life tonight
<DJ-Quack> well meeps?
<meeps> this terrorist came around the corner and tried to kill her so i shot his head off
<DJ-Quack> omfg meeps
<hpr> lol :P
<meeps> hahaha
<DJ-Quack> you asshole
<DJ-Quack> ;[
<LawnMM> did he respawn?
<meeps> Yeah, next round

#11395
<dine-sa> no it won't MoP, amusment park jobs actually suck
<dine-sa> I had a friend who worked at six flags all summer.
<SA-MoP> dine had a friend! *dies* :D
<SA-Metathrom> Hehe
<dine-sa> :P it was before I had a modem
<SA-MoP> lol ok

#225
<Amanda`> WE COULD USE DHCP FOR WINS RESOLUTION IN OUR ROUTING TABLES OR A STANDARD IPX PACKET TRANSMISSION PROTOCOL WHEN CREATING REVERSE PTR TABLES FOR DYNAMIC CLASS A IP ADDRESSES AND MAKE SURE OUR DNS KERNEL HAS THE CORRECT START OF AUTHORITY RECORD FOR OUR SUBNET MASK WHEN PREPARING PTR RECORDS FOR LOOPBACK MULTICASTING.
<Intra> exactly amanda

#42131
<Coll[laptop]> baldness is an advantage in war, get the right angle and you can bounce the sun into your opponents eyes
Comment: irc.netronet.com @ #netronet

#24191
<dewie`> ¡hola!
<patty> buenos noches, tiipsicito
<dewie`> sorry, i should clarify... i don't speak spanish. I just enjoy the inverted punctuation.

#307472
<Jessica_Lily> yeh i gave my mac a drink of cider
<Jessica_Lily> turned out not to like it
<Jessica_Lily> keyboard, hdd and trackpad stopped working
<moylan1> ironic that a mac can't handle apple juice?

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