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#29201
<kegObeer> Klez is a virus? I thought it was the lesbian that came bundled with KDE
#361
<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac
#11176
<IronCurtain> I can talk to two people on the internet at the same time
<Shoryu> DAMN D00D your l337
#50848
< jiteo> I remember calling my ISP asking about getting a static IP
< jiteo> poor guy on the other end was so happy to have someone with brains to
talk to
< jiteo> and actually get asked a question that makes sense
< jiteo> on that day I brought warm fuzzies in his life
< jiteo> I will forever be proud
< KrakensDen> :)
< KrakensDen> did you get one?
< jiteo> no
#301451
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird
#3874
<Hostile> And now that i think of it, the west coast should be all renamed to the wastelands
<Scofco> It should be renamed to the east coast
<Scofco> then we would have 2 east coasts
<Scofco> it would rid gang violence
<Scofco> end the east coast / west coast struggle
<Scofco> with a simple name change
<Scofco> I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE
<Hostile> AGREED
#28493
<@modernman> Juicy.Pussies.Uncensored.JAV-XRS
<@modernman> id fuckin hope its uncensored
#70442
<Chaos_Incarnate> i want to get a government grant
<Chaos_Incarnate> to do a scientific experiment
<DJPugsly> on what
<Chaos_Incarnate> to see exactly what speed an esclator has to be at to make a slinky achieve perpetual motion
<Chaos_Incarnate> i need a box of slinkies
<Chaos_Incarnate> and an escalator
#30496
<+BalefireX> i need a shoepolish gnome
<+snow_veil> ...
<+BalefireX> to live in a cabinet and polish my shoes
<Deejayry> i thought you were talking about linux then
#30489
<Choco> If someone built me a new computer, I'd love them forever. o_o
<Choco> You know. With all that frolicking through dasies and stuff.
<InsaneKittyKat> in slow motion?
#53836
<NPR> HEY
<NPR> NICE HOUSE
<NPR> BE A REAL SHAME IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT
<NPR> YOU NEED PROTECTION IS WHAT I'M SAYING
<NPR> "OOPS" INSURANCE
<NPR> THE SORT OF PROTECTION THAT ONLY A PUBLIC RADIO SERVICE CAN OFFER
* NPR knocks over your lamp
<NPR> OTHERWISE ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
<NPR> YA FOLLOW!?
#36453
<Jaeger> toms playing Call of Duty and he told me smokings bad for health
<Jaeger> his reason
<Jaeger> you can't move cos you can only use one hand
#35297
* Quits: eLe|A (~zerg@pD9520CC7.dip.t-dialin.net) (Quit: When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'.)
#7090
<CrashCat> I could never place a personal ad. I would live on p0rn and irc before I got that far. oh wait
#74549
<cached> What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?
<cached> A polar bear.
#13200
<erisynne> he has a ctcp version fetish
<erisynne> he did it to me 7 times
<GreenMtn> did you lose your versionity?
#52788
<zien> ah i love water. it's like nature's fruit juice.
<cgom> ....FRUIT JUICE is nature's fruit juice. moron.
#22393
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
#16266
(dx) i once ordered sears siding for the condo complex across the street
(dx) they showed up
(dx) and knocked on the first condo
(dx) and the dude called the landlord
(dx) and he comes out
(dx) and starts screaming at them
(dx) sears calls me back and asks whats wrong and i told them i had no idea what they were talking aboit
(dx) sears never called me again
(dx) :)
#4013
<Joshua> how's the recording going?
<Joshua> or the whole band thing i guess... haven't heard much as of late...
<Lexx> like a dead paraplegic snail, nailed to a dead paraplegic badger that has been cemented into the foundations of a building
<Joshua> umm... was the snail dead before it was nailed to the badger?
<Lexx> they were both stillborn
<Lexx> as were their parents
<Alamias> Sounds like my sex life
<Joshua> wow...
#34844
(sean-): me and my girlfriend did the most bad ass thing
(fleet): anal no lube?
#7466
<gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
<gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
<gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten with a
sledgehammer
#29110
<Bruce> You know the mile high club?
<Sheila> what about it?
<Bruce> Can you join it on your own?
<Sheila> you sad, sad little man
#301229
< MacForker> Arg, my family is weird.
< MacForker> They just argued with me you can't serve pork medium.
< tonyola> conventional wisdom is that pork should be thoroughly cooked
< MacForker> Sure, 20 years ago
< CuriosTiger> Conventional wisdom is that pork from 20 years ago should not be eaten :P
#40955
<@Goremageddon> i use to fuck up alot when i started
<@Goremageddon> i gave a hot water enema to a 60 year old patient once
<@Goremageddon> and i didnt watch out
<@Goremageddon> so she shat all over me
<@Goremageddon> that fucking sucked
Comment: #blackdeath-cult