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#32695
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> we're talkign about sex (no big deal at my work) and he pops in and he says this "mmm i like to give them girls golden showers...", after that we were both like "........", and he knew he said something wrong and left .
<ZestyO> ...
<White_Anomaly> strange people on this planet
<White_Anomaly> :(
<ZestyO> indeed
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> yes very
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> i didn't know half of the sick things i do now until i got on the internet :(
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> my poor soul will never be pure again :(
#26315
<@PookaZzZz> elimidate??
<@PookaZzZz> is that the terminator in spanish?
#1069
<orion`-`-> what the fuck
<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion`-`-> brbrb
#5020
<iban> when i was your age all i had was a mac, and photoshop
<iban> if i wanted an online gf i had to draw her
#301224
<Arang> I hate when I have to turn off a computer by holding the power button
<Arang> it just feels way too visceral
<Arang> like I'm holding a pillow over its head
<Arang> "ARANG WHYYYGHGHGHBLGBHGBL"
<Arang> "mfff mfffffff"
<Fax> *windows sound*
#304691
<BunneH> i saw a urologist yesterday
<BunneH> er.. today, not yesterday
<BunneH> he had to use KY jelly to get his thumb into my prostate
<BunneH> well, i dunno if it was KY
<BunneH> may have been aknockoff
<BunneH> point is, i had a jelly-covered thumb in my anus
<BunneH> i felt like a donut
<BunneH> when he poked it he said "does this make you feel like you need to urinate?"
<BunneH> i almost said "no, but i feel like i need to shit a thumb"
<BunneH> luckily, i refrained, and just said "no"
#13398
(drifter) I broke my rioport player
(jafo) how?
(drifter) but I'm just gonna take it back to the store and get it replaced
(jafo) trying to upload mpegs to it?
(drifter) plugged in the power source to the earphone jack.
(drifter) cos the power source looks like it goes there.
#32280
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins
#304158
<welandB> God dammit.
<welandB> I went to the Renaissance Festival and hit it off with a girl so I tore off a piece of paper from the map and wrote down my number for her.
<welandB> So my friend tears off more pieces and writes down "Call Nate for gay sucking and fucking" with my phone number.
<welandB> And starts handing them out.
<welandB> So I take them away from him and stuff them in my pocket.
<welandB> My cat just dragged one right to my mom.
<welandB> We just had a sit-down talk where I had to clarify that I am not soliciting sex from strange men.
#26328
<tfg> What's the vatican?
<tfg> Is it a resturant or something?
#22075
<DJ> http://www.planetdaikatana.com/
<DJ> heh there's still an active daikatana community
<DOX> i think the term is satanic cult
<DOX> waiting for romero to return in his spaceship and take them to the promised land
#283592
<Errdoth-AFK> lul
* Errdoth-AFK forces himself to turn the monitor off
<ichai> hey errdoth
<Errdoth-AFK> ?
<ichai> made you type again
<Errdoth-AFK> fuck you
#52131
<Freddie> I think you have sand in your vagina
<DJ_Yami> wtf is a vagina
Comment: #atthepark on etg
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#440
<blazemore> we know your hand gets more action jax0ring than your feet do walking
<scar`1> yeah well that's also caused by the fact that i hardly walk
#524
<|WizZard|-Sleeping] I'm going to bed now, and you cant stop me from thinking dirty stuff.
#41892
<@SyNMaN> IIII BEEELLLLIIIEEEEVVVEE I CAAANNNN FLYYYYY, I BBBEEEELLLIIEEEVVEEE I CAAANN TOOOUUCCHH THE SKYYYY
<@SyNMaN> although it might be the crack
#310742
<dbelange> Front Row Education is seeking a Haskell Web Engineer for a full-time position
<lmt> i watched a short documentary yesterday about a guy in a paraguay slump who organized an orchestra where all the instruments are made from trash
<lmt> you could totally do that with haskell instead
#16575
<oreth> ever thing to yourself "Hey, it might be fun to go fuck a turkey?"
<AshPlississkin> no
<oreth> yeah. me neither.
#7541
< FuzzyKaos > oh oh guess what i got today!!??
< Zooz > Fuzzy - Herpes? :)
#35692
<Roscoe> show me a cisco config
<Roscoe> and were talkin
* Amun pulls down pants
* Amun shows roscoe his cisco config
* Roscoe sees your running a small pipe
Comment: geeked
#5427
<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's
#2166
<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure for two nights' worth of air attacks
#19994
<yakk> oh fuck
<yakk> I just realised that the "faith based missile defense" wasn't a joke
#55637
<Immortal> Yesterday my dad was yelling at me and said, "You're going to respect your mother you son of a bitch."
<Immortal> Then he hit me for laughing.