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#76066
<Smokey> Me and this bitch are playing phone tag
<Smokey> Her mom answered
<Smokey> and she was like "Your going to have to call back, adam, Ive got to use the phone"
<Smokey> Then she didnt hang up, and started dialing numbers
<Smokey> Then stopped
<Smokey> and I was like, in a deeper voice "Hello"
<Smokey> And she was like "Hey, baby"
<Smokey> Then I just started laughing
<Smokey> And she was like Goddamnit
#61302
<@Delphy> heh, a man died of dehydration when he became stuck between two water tanks
#16708
<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf
#21840
<Coota> Hmmm... I'm in a dilemma. I'm in love with accents, especially British ones, but I don't like fat girls. Now, the girl who wants to make out with me *does* have an accent, but she is a little overweight... what to do...
<PatPandaHat> make her exercise before you'll make out with her.
<Coota> Pat: Hee. Tell her I have a minimum PFT score requirement before I make out with a girl? ;)
<Darien> tell her it's a religious thing
<PatPandaHat> "Sorry, I don't do pork unless it's lean."
#9220
<jre> A WHORE WAS HAVING A LIQUIDATION SALE
#302240
< arke> not even my computer loves me
< Antonio8> is it a dual core ? maybe it has a split personality
#31567
<DasKrav> I was correcting tests for student service a few weeks ago
<DasKrav> And while correcting a geometry test, I got to the question "What is the collision of three planes called?" (The answer was "a point")
<DasKrav> the kid put "A disaster"
<DasKrav> I didn't take off points >:]
#28298
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children
#299616
xplicitbruno: can someone tell me whats wrong with this : $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"
Mango: Missing semicolon.
xplicitbruno: Mango can u tell me where exactly or just correct the line i typed above ( i am new at this so dont know much yet )
Mango: At the end of the line.
xplicitbruno: like this
xplicitbruno: $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"]
Mango: Oh, wow. I don't know what to say to that one
Mango: I was going to give you the link to a page of PHP tips for newbies but I think you may need more help than I can offer.
#45472
<ProfGlitch> hahaha, how ironic:
<ProfGlitch> "USA/Japan's [StarCraft] match ended in America's favor after their Terran player resolved two nuclear attacks on the Japanese team's main bases."
#31822
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools
<@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store
<@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc)
<evolsoulx> mmhmm
<@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them
<@SLing> so
<@SLing> I stood there
<@SLing> for five minutes
<@SLing> knocking on melons
<@SLing> people started looking at me strange
<evolsoulx> lol
<@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to"
<Erik> lol
<@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh"
<@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore
#16740
* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.
#11036
<Swamp|haircut> omg @ big breasted hairdressers
*** Swamp|haircut is now known as Swamp
<Swamp> whenever she leaned over it looked like i was wearing a mickey mouse hat
#4393
<Rhombus> Rich fat cats hoarding sleep
<Rhombus> cheap taiwanese sleep flooding the market
#16839
<Tocool> Im so bored
<Tocool> I can predict my day
<Tocool> I woke up at 12:30, will sit around on computer till about 4, head to work, come back at 10:30, sit on computer till 2, go to bed
<Shaddix> pretty good
<Tocool> This isnt the normal course of action, just recent turn of events have left me with very lil to do
<Shaddix> oh
<Shaddix> impotentcy?
#25221
<Boogieman> I run my fingers up your left thigh
<Boogieman> oops, uhh, wrong channel
<Status> LOL!!
<Boogieman> forget you ever saw that
<Status> Gee, now would be a great time to take that new screenshot...
* Boogieman glances around nervously
<Asmodi> rofl, boogieman, what cha doin?
<Boogieman> certainly not trying to have permiscuous sex with cyber strangers, thats for sure
#21792
* Rancid likes those hot teachers who keep you back after school for a private lesson
* Rancid has never had one of those
* Rancid watches to much TV
#207123
<flyinsqrl> friend wants me to put 2.22 gigs of shit on a 2 gig flash drive
<Coratee> that should work
<Coratee> you just have to really want it
#4422
<moira> I converted an MP3 to ogg, then back again, and then back and forth between MP3 and OGG format thirty times, and when I listened to it after that, it was just an mp3 of you guys talking
#17274
<ceejamon> fapping is pretty much what everybody using this program for, if that answeres your Q.
<Kendrak> omg
<Kendrak> they might as well rename Kazza to "Free p0rn!"
#8211
<IMP-Scott> Transferred: rzr-wc3.017 15,000,000 bytes in 1.60 (9,143.84 KB/Sec)
<IMP-Scott> my local Box
<IMP-Scott> whooohoooo
<IMP-Scott> 100Mbit
<JtHM> WOW! YOU MUST HAVE A GIGANTIC PENIS !
<IMP-Scott> errrr?
<dt|BadAss> lol
#6239
<BBKSleep> I got busy on thursday, it reminded me of why I don't get busy.
#7361
<devilgrl> qwasz: im a rocket technician for the govt.
<devilgrl> i used to be a unix admin
<pagan> sure have alot of exp for being 21...
<devilgrl> pagan: i dropped outta school and started working fulltime when I was 17
<pagan> then the .gov picked you up to work on rockets?
<devilgrl> my friend works for the company, he got me an interview
<pagan> and they saw your stunning education record, and hired you right?
<pagan> of course your full of shit, your a girl
<devilgrl> exactly
#3079
<DAL9000> being alone sucks... i want to stab someone in the eye, but alas, noone is there.
#62385
<lemur> wow
<burgizzly> what?
<lemur> i just lamed myself out real baaad
<burgizzly> wqhy
<lemur> well you know how after you jerk off, you can't really pee straight?
<burgizzly> of course...
<lemur> yeah well that was happening to me, only i couldnt remember last time i'd jacked off.
<lemur> it was driving me fuckin nuts trying to work out when i could possibly have pleased myself.
<lemur> seriously
<lemur> like an hour later i was still really worried cause i thought i'd contracted some self-pleasuring split personality disorder thing!
<burgizzly> sooo?
<burgizzly> you worked it out?
<lemur> haha yeah i'd had sex like 20 minutes before :/
<burgizzly> fuck you