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#6869
* BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.
BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person. In fact, if people like that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss Freaking Congeniality, dammit!
#5592
<bytraper> you idiots!!!
<Synoptica> yeah i confess
#10052
<Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she wants
<Kiz`> just go up to a guy
<Kiz`> "sex?"
<Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
<Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?
#301123
<Kandarin> Ahoy.
<EugeneK> Dongs
<Kandarin> Good to see things haven't changed.
#8886
<Ven> Fuck
<Ven> This is a long shot, but
<Ven> has anyone seen the pinout for the 4-player connector for the CPS2 arcade system?
<Ven> Oh fuck!
<Ven> I bet it's in my D&D Mystara manual
#21345
<MoonKitty> I'm on the cock patch
<DS> you mean masturbation?
<MoonKitty> call it what you like
<lowerfrenum> lol
<DS> for that, i will fire up bash
#24166
dergrue: what's the name of that program that gives you a random meal to eat when you can't pick something?
barry: 'mom'
#31637
<dEkOr> i wanna fucking kill myself... my cat died and i just pressed reset with my toe by accident and lost 3gb of queues
#9227
<DJ> apparently, a friend of mine has split with his g/f "for a couple of mouths"
<DJ> im assuming thats a typo
#31858
<Karina> there are two people having mutual masturbation on my bed
<Karina> i'm going to blow.
<Gravity> what?
<Gravity> they're fingering each other on your bed?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> male and female?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> and are they both cute?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> and you got on here to tell me about it ?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> and didn't go join?
<Karina> no
<Gravity> If you have two hot people diddling around in your bed, and you're bi, and they're open, and you get on irc to tell someone else about it instad of joining/watching... You might be an addict.
#18253
<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got?
<drunkers> i wash dishes
<[Piratez]> at a resturaunt?
<drunkers> no, at home
#28941
* RuKK backs up LadyLia's brain
<RuKK> on dvdr ;x
<LadyLia> ;P
* RuKK makes slight changes
* phox pirates it
* phox writes RuKK a no clothes crack
#28995
<Alan> i remember trying to back up my entire C:\windows directory to CD
<Alan> i ended up with a gazillion coasters before i realized i was trying to burn the swap file
#294742
{GiGi}: Ffs Pony, you're so back in the closet, you can see Narnia
#22238
<windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash card to have more storage?
<InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your computer to give you more storage?
<windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot!
<InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth.
<windows_macgeek> ...Oh.
#299714
<Tkavil> I have to type up a speech of my life
<Tkavil> about 2 minutes long in french
<DerKapitan> bonjour. bon nombre d'entre vous ne me connaissent pas. Je voudrais partager quelques choses. Je n'ai jamais su quel genre j'ai voulu pour être, ainsi vous pourriez dire que je suis niether. au moins après la chirurgie le mois prochain.
<DerKapitan> there. your speech is written.
<Tkavil> let me translate that
<Tkavil> hello. many of you do not know me. Let me share a few things. I never knew what kind I wanted to be, so you could say I am niether. at least after the surgery next month.
<Tkavil> ......
#17931
<MrEnthusiasm> ugh, new david bowie cd boasted that it had interactive multimedia on it
<MrEnthusiasm> what it meant was 2 buttons, one to play the cd and one to connect to a site
#1419
<|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard
#39087
<^Sasquatch^> AFK = Away From Komputer
#301260
<Pryoidain> Speaking of Legend of Zelda, I have a good story from last semester.
<Gimpy> Oh?
<Pryoidain> So I bought one of those Ocarina's from thinkgeek this passing summer. It comes with playing instructions and a bunch of other stuff.
<Pryoidain> Including instructions on how to play songs from zelda.
<Pryoidain> well, I woke up one morning and realized I had a midterm exam in a class I hadn't been to in like three weeks. I figure "I'm gonna fail anyways, so I might as well get a good laugh out of it."
<Pryoidain> So I go in, and the prof picks up the exams and asks if there are any last minute questions before the midterm.
<Pryoidain> and I stand up in class and go "MIDTERM?! NO, THIS CANNOT BE!" and pulled out the ocarina and played the song of time on it.
<Pryoidain> The prof actually had to set the papers down he was laughing so hard. he then gave me a 72 hour extension before I had to take it again.
<Pryoidain> Someone else in class asked for an extension, and the prof proceded to chew them out for asking for more time.
<Gimpy> Oh god, the only thing that could make that any better is if someone yelled "DAWN OF DAY ONE. 72 HOURS REMAIN"
<Pryoidain> Well someone did ask if that was real time or game time. Luckily for me, he said real time...
#30106
<@crrj-lunchbreak> ROFLMAO, on the phone with my brother, internet is out at his work, his boss just said, and I heard it, "No internet? No e-mail too?"
<@crrj-lunchbreak> lol, the guy doesn't grok, no internet, no e-mail
* @DM laughs at crrj's brother's boss
<@crrj-lunchbreak> That's okay, we laugh at him too
<@crrj-lunchbreak> I used to work for him
<@crrj-lunchbreak> I watched him fry a HD by putting it circuit board down, power on, onto the chasis of the computer
Comment: And the guy supposedly does computer consulting...
#349
<ping> oh, im ready for the upcoming school year
<End[gone]> i dont think it will be any different
<zxaxox> thats why you have to take a shotgun and MAKE it different.
#38719
< MrVacBob> 50% of people in the world are above the median weight
<[SA]EvilCanadian> I know thats bullshit right now without even trying to comprehend it bob
<[SA]EvilCanadian> dont even try to pass that off as fact
<[SA]EvilCanadian> WHEN THERE IS CONTINENTS LIKE AFRICA IN THE WORLD, AND POPULATIONS LIKE INDIA AND CHINA, THERES NO FUCKING WAY THAT 50% IS ACCURATE
<[SA]EvilCanadian> kthx
#151396
<Garrett> I was speaking with a student the other day, he was all like, "One thing I like about being a student? I get a week vacation man! I'm sitting at home, playing video games, watching porn, sleeping in, while you, you my friend, you gotta go to work."
<Garrett> and I said, "sure. But while you're watching porn, playing games, and so on, I'm making $600."
#308438
<Migs> what does it mean when critics say a movie is "smart?"
<gildean> they didn't understand it