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#309171
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist

#8363
<JinBOT2000> beware
<JinBOT2000> or I will reveal my BIGGEST CREATION
<JinBOT2000> <")3
<JinBOT2000> A CHICKEN
<JinBOT2000> IN ASCII
<JinBOT2000> Dare you test me, boy?

#48894
<@cripwalker> my girlfriend is so fucking cool.
<@cripwalker> we were arguing in IM last night about techtv being lame since g4 took over.
<@cripwalker> she thinks its better now that theres more "pretty" people on it.
<@cripwalker> that filter girl is, like, her idol.
<@cripwalker> anyway, i wasn't giving up.  i really believe that channel to be a lost cause, now.
<@cripwalker> so she says to me "i'm gonna come over there and beat some sense in to you"
<@cripwalker> then she logs out.
<@cripwalker> about 10 minutes later, she pulls up in her car, runs into the house, walks in like she owns the damned place, and punches me hard as hell in the arm.  no hello, or nothing.
<@cripwalker> then she leaves. didn't even say goodbye.  i was totally speechless.
<@cripwalker> sure enough, 10 minutes later she logs back on.
<@cripwalker> she says "i knew you'd see things my way."
<@cripwalker> then she asks if she can come over to watch tv...
<@cripwalker> i'm sooo gonna marry her!

#19791
<Vyse`work> FUCK SNAKE
<Vyse`work> thats nice as FUCK!
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> ill show my boss ASAP
<Vyse`work> when he comes in
<Vyse`work> DUDE SNAKE
<Vyse`work> fucking move here for a job =)
<Vyse`work> my boss would so fucking fire the chick who does it now
<Vyse`work> and hire you
<Vyse`work> look at the website she is working on
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> snake isn't here
<Vyse`work> im talking to no one
<Vyse`work> FUCK

#33293
(SlackMuffin) [22:25] <SlackMuffin> winamp(2.80) playing(17 - Katrina & The Waves - Walking on sunshine) stats(38% of 3m 55s )
(SlackMuffin) [22:25] <SlackMuffin> I mean.. winamp(2.80) playing(really cool masculine music.mp3) stats(38% of 3m 55s)

#28673
<cae> i wonder what sales calls will be like with video phones
<DarthBong> at least then you'll be able to flip them off
<DarthBong> or hang up a porn picture over the camera
<cae> hehe...print out goatse.cx pictures and flash them to unsuspecting sales people
<DarthBong> hehe
<keetz> hahaha
<DarthBong> "hang on a sec, i can't remember where I left my credit card.... Oh, i left it in.. (goatse.cx guy) HERE"

#29448
<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.

#4852
<ryo-ohki> and it would be an understatement to say I AM FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND
<DCBastard> lol - what else is new?
<DCBastard> one day you should come into the channel and go "WOW - I AM TOTALLY FUCKING STRAIGHT" - we'd all be like "holy shit! that is amazing!"

#35289
<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube

#35298
<withnail> uhhhhh you know that lttle microchip on your credit card....if that kets all ketamine in the grooves of it is that gonna really matter?
Comment: #geekissues

#300297
<Asaph> Yo, Pry?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Sup?
<Asaph> You're in geology right?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Ya.
<Asaph> What's the law of original horizontality?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Rocks do it in the missionary position.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Err, all sedimentary rock forms horizontally, any distortion in that must have taken time to form.
<Asaph> Thanks...What was that about missionary position?
<Pryo[Geo110]> I memorize all my rules/laws as sexual positions. Then whenever i get laid, it's like i'm studying.

#107607
<TLC> My friend went in for an op on his hand, and they sent him for a shower and to put these paper pants and a gown on.
<TLC> Wondering what that piece of string on the pants was as he struggled to get them on, suddenly a nurse burst in
<TLC> trying to hide his modesty he realised that that bit of string he thought was either on the pants or the gown was the emergency pull cord

#4792
[Synoptica] no, he's not lagged. he's just stupid.

#18505
<jwz> "Anti-Spam Legislation Opposed by Powerful Penis-Enlargement Lobby"
<ogw> the NRA?

#301318
<@Warrigal> I just realized that compilers reproduce asexually. This is possibly the most awesome moment of my life.

#6802
<YyzKnicks> what is anal sex anyway, when you think about it too much and get neurotic?   Ohh, you mean butt sex

#32864
<NNAndrew> maaan, why can't my boogers come in cherry flavour

#119039
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far

#47254
< Telal> "Sorry I came unglued earlier..."
< Telal> fuck that
< Akamu> Seriously
< Telal> she can stay on her side of the state
< Akamu> You know, you should turn gay.
< Akamu> Men don't do this shit in breakups
< Akamu> A fist fight and you can be freinds
< Telal> yeah, but then there's the buttsex
< Akamu> Well, everything has a downside
< Telal> haha
< Telal> I think that was the most objective discussion of homosexuality ever
Comment: in #moo on afternet

#2506
<Dracon> weird.. seems like no matter what i do, cpu usage never shows 0.0%.

#1654
Mr Brown> ill snip ur ass
<JD> I'll carry that flag so good, you won't know what hit ya
<JD> Wait, that didn't sound very threatening...

#2351
<Horizon> Harhar! I get a paper that says "Congradulations, you are less of an idiot now."
<Morbii> does it have a small "but you're still canadian" attached to an asterisk or something too?
<Morbii> :P

#24214
<keith_escalade> I got a computer for my wife, and it was a good trade.

#15763
<rixon> I remember calling BBS's on my party line.
<rixon> my neighbors house burned down, and they couldnt call the FD cause we were online.
<rixon> 3 ppl died.
<rixon> that sucked.

#50000
<celti> Ahh!
<celti> No more sticky                 spacebar
<celti> ...fuck.
<celti> If you laugh, I will murder you.

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