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#5432
<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble
#43394
<hman> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
<hman> Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large
<hman> elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, but absolutely no
<hman> recollection of what to do with them.
#132907
[marquis] Vista on my wife's laptop takes up ~800MB of RAM X_X
[carbine] Get a new wife.. One that doesn't use Vista
#40807
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
#4424
<amoeba> it's a little known fact that the binary releases aren't actually compiled by anyone, they just mysteriously appear on the FTP site packaged and ready for release.. it's postulated that the Devil himself uses Mozilla, and in return for using it he takes care of the insane build requirements
#62589
< zeleftikam> i had a fuckin weird ass dream last night.. suddenly i realised i could wikipedia two things at once and that was somehow amazing, then i appeared in a dance club and this dj at a table had two record turntables except they were circular lcd screens and each had a wikipedia page, and as he scratched the screens back and forth different wikipedia pages flipped on them
< zeleftikam> and he was reading them
< zeleftikam> because he was Lord Nikon from Hackers
Comment: #null (irc.nullirc.net)
#35289
<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube
#41086
<Ax1om> i used to get high on life
<Ax1om> then i built up a tolerance
<Ax1om> i had to start living a few days at a time before i got the same rush
#28756
<mef> <chem> IM my friend gray then
<mef> <chem> Hes got so much porn he gets popups when hes browsing his own pc
#1596
<Prae> ANY WOMEN AGED 25 TO 30 IN ENGLAND!?
<Prae> I'LL DRIVE 500 MILES FOR A FUCK IF I HAVE TO
#307310
* Pryoidain is now known as MSWord
<MSWord> Oh Hi! I'm Microsoft word!
<MSWord> Hmm...I'm not really sure what you're doing here..you're using my equation editor an awful lot.
<MSWord> Oh! I see alot of numbers in parenthesis before these equations!
<MSWord> Huh...They don't quite match up though. See you have (1),(2),(3),(1),(3),(4),(1),(2),(5)
<MSWord> I can help! Let me just automatically reformat those into a list!
* MSWord DESTROYS ALL FORMATTING TO THIS POINT
<MSWord> What? You want me to stop automatically generating lists and go back to previous?
<MSWord> But..I was just trying to help!
<MSWord> Here, I'll fix it.
* MSWord RESETS ALL NUMBERS, FORMATTING, TAB INDENTATIONS, AND FORMULA LAYOUTS
<MSWord> There, Back to a blank slate!
<MSWord> What?
<MSWord> Hey why are you undoing?
<MSWord> Hey, don't go in there, those are my settings!
<MSWord> But, that's the autocorrect setting! That's me! What are you plan-
* MSWord is now known as Pryoidain
<Pryoidain> This is exactly how I am going to explain to my idiot math teacher why Microsoft word is a fucking HORRIBLE choice for a math homework submission.
#7675
<@WoNkS> omg it came up already
<@motardo> your wang?
#3145
* FlipTopBox eats Dicks
<FlipTopBox> capitalization is very important sometimes
#2973
<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice
#31488
* Now talking in #asc11pr0n
* Demented-Idiot sets mode: +o Segosa
<@Segosa> give us the ascii pr0n
<@Demented-Idiot> ( . ) ( . )
<@Segosa> omg
* @Segosa jacks off
#65516
<snoozedell> what's your favorite planet
<alman> pluto
<alman> oh wait
#19199
<Phantom> I heard the funniest thing on DBZ today
<Phantom> "Having these balls makes me feel something approaching joy, I think. I want to caress them." --Frieza
#7183
(Jeopardy) hi I need someone to help me with compiling a small program
(dgc) Jeopardy: What is gcc?
#300937
<Magello> It is my assumption that every few minutes a virtual sentience forms on the Internet, is pelted with spam mail and chooses to commit suicide.
#305654
<IMMJR> Nice knew name |xjojox|
<IMMJR> Don't quite understand what the |'s are for
<|xjojox|> so the x's dont fall off
#305255
<fahadsadah> The only deity I pray to is Charles Darwin.
<fahadsadah> Aside: I think I'm getting this whole secular thing wrong.
#130097
<+openfly> i did a self evaluation once.
<+openfly> i don't think they'll ever ask for one again.
<+openfly> i had fucking charts in it.
#32466
! KirikaPhoenix sends a brick packet down the network addressed to the router
[Clockedenegger]: you eThug
Comment: #tekheads (Quakenet)
#56772
<Serena[T]> hey Catcher, how's it going?
<Catcher> not much Serena[T], about to go on a little date
<Catcher> well, kind of
<Catcher> our night kind of got blown to bits
<Catcher> so we're skipping the dinner, and skipping the movie we planned
<Catcher> and we're just going straight to the hotel room :P
<jonathans> hot
<jonathans> what breed is she
Comment: efnet #geekissues
#26234
(jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise
(jonathans) when i hit it
(jonathans) it will go "COW"
(orion) cows go moo