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#180674
(@irix) I have a tenetative job interview scheduled for early next week at comcast
(@irix) this week?
(@irix) this tuesday/wednesday
(@kcid) you'll be there sometime between 8 and noon?
#33176
<DrGrog> you know what's fun?
<DrGrog> when you take a knife and touch the little heat things in a toaster
<DrGrog> it's a rush
#28471
<darkjedi> xandy: well - to repent - go spank the monkey for a while...that should get those impure thoughts from out of your head
<XanderDaWatcher> i dont have a monkey to spank :/
<XanderDaWatcher> oh
#310093
<vee> god my brain is so dumb sometimes
<vee> I looked out the window and saw a lot of birds and squirrels and I thought "yeah it's the weekend" as if they all normally have jobs to go to during the week
#11827
<|nLv|Dasyati> a haiku by Dasyati
<|nLv|Dasyati> LOLOL
<|nLv|Dasyati> ROFLMAO
<|nLv|Dasyati> STFU fag
#6546
<pimpDT> you need a nice phrase to tell women when they mention babies
<boXlor> "stfu" ?
#3259
(acidic) i love it how my g/f calls me "fucker" with so much affection.
#297989
(334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
#47429
<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)
#2378
(rageboy) ok let me give you a hypothetical situation
(rageboy) and you tell me if you would be mad
(rageboy) you are having a house party..
(rageboy) and you come home.. everyone is still partying
(rageboy) and one of your friends is having sex on your bathroom sink
(rageboy) would you kick him outta your house?
(vrs) is he a good friend
(vrs) ?
(rageboy) yeah
(vrs) do you like the girl?
(rageboy) no no..
(rageboy) i was the one fucking
#23634
(Mobius`) is there a disease where your hands always feel dirty and you wash them like every 20mins?
(dtw) excessive fisting
#300948
< idiopath> if 50 cent and nickelback did a bad music supergroup you could call it 45ยข
#206039
<Kidsune> Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but i'm gonna go down on you...
<Kidsune> And you're gonna love it...
<Kidsune> But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it...
<Kidsune> Then i'm gonna come back up again and fuck you, big time...
<Kidsune> Lots of love,
<Kidsune> Fuel Prices
#18744
<Breianna> no useless profanity?
<Breianna> oh fuck
#308534
< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a weather balloon. Due to possible radioactive contamination, Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until further notice.
#14217
<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself
#8353
<Seren> I've seen so many penises, but I swear, the minute some guy you don't know takes his pants off in a classroom environment and is all happy about it ... you almost shit yourself.
<melusine> Happy happy? O_o As in "Teacher, my still life is moving!" happy? O_o
#36719
<%sketchataki> i biked to the beach today...hung out with a hott chick...biked back... xD long bike ride but i got a phone number...
<&James_> how old was she?
<%sketchataki> 87
Comment: Extract from #HPHC on irc.halca.org
#28330
<KenBX> Ok, so I needed to download WinRAR... so I found WinRAR on some xdcc... After it downloads I realize that the setupfile is in RAR FORMAT.
#28747
<xcp> I left a windows xp cd on the seat of my car, someone broke in and left 2 more.
#9363
<[DeViL]PsYcHo> it'll be lonely this christmas, without you to hold
<[DeViL]Chufty> psycho you getting circumsized for christmas?!
#12304
<@Breathe> Server announcement: >>Attention please: We are about to reset the Linuxguy server to upgrade the chat softweare. This will cause you to disconnect. You should be able to reconnect right away. If you have any problems, please let us know in #magicstar.. We will reset linuxguy in 2 minutes.<<
<@Breathe> I love it. "If you can't reconnect, come into a channel and let us know!"
#300852
<ranc0r> IT Rule: When Symantec buys a product, it goes to shit.
#243532
stephen: i win bitch
reese: i was lagging
stephen: wtf
reese: yeah dude total lag
stephen: we were playing chess...
#18379
<pb2x> not like I know anything
<Fembot> first rational thing he's typed in a while.