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#107607
<TLC> My friend went in for an op on his hand, and they sent him for a shower and to put these paper pants and a gown on.
<TLC> Wondering what that piece of string on the pants was as he struggled to get them on, suddenly a nurse burst in
<TLC> trying to hide his modesty he realised that that bit of string he thought was either on the pants or the gown was the emergency pull cord
#5423
(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh.. ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!
#71440
<A_SN> lol wtf, from the english "Earth" article on Wikipedia
<A_SN> "It is the largest planet in the world."
Comment: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Earth&oldid=85281232
#12017
<TheHobo> Has anyone ever downloaded a 24kb program that tries to send your hard drive to a japanese company?
#8032
<Empathy> I wanna crap, but my mother's in bed and dropping logs'd wake her up
#1013
(iMike) i dont trust that britney spears has areolas that big
#103050
<KR> I don't think anyone ever manged to compile that package
<Cygnum> crap. Any tips anyone?
<KR> divine assistance?
<Cygnum> right. i'll light some candles, sprinkle some holy water on the keyboard and shout "the power of christ compiles you!" before pressing enter.
#38200
<ducklord> <Rjx> time to do some benchmarking
<ducklord> I thought you said "benchpressing" ;(
<ducklord> we should be more manly
#9091
<Nomel> i'll have to bring it over later today...we can go for a ride...
<Nomel> its funny stopping fast in front of people...cause there like..oh shit...its a pinto...its gunna blow....but that only works on old people...
<Nomel> cause the young ones dont know what pintos look like...
#34068
<IceWizard> hmmm
<IceWizard> i cant figure out this..
<IceWizard> im supposed to set my clocks back 1 hour
<IceWizard> so how can I make my vcr start flashing 11:00 instead of 12:00?
#304195
<NCommander> Don't let someone with an uncontrolled seizure history give you oral sex
#300375
<jspath> woohoo perl 5.10 and // !
<abryan> hey jim are you using the // operator?
<abryan> I've been avoiding using any 5.10 features... but I guess we can start since we're running it most everywhere now
<ben_alman> i use the // operator in javascript
<ben_alman> whenever i encounter some of jim's code
<ben_alman> i just use that operator and everything works again
#29914
<LEitW> Hmm, if Arnold wins the election, will he remember it tomorrow?
<Orca> He'll probably grope somebody nearby in celebration...
<LEitW> That's a given
<SuperXdude> if he loses, will he say "I'll be back..."?
#7765
<n> i bet that game is gonna sell huge
<n> just cause people will be like... ah well its only $20
<faz__> well its fun, they deserve it
<anathema> yeah
<Stonefire[i]> now that n opened his mouth, it's gonna tank
<faz__> haha
<anathema> haha
<koko> bahaha
<Stonefire[i]> ya jinx'd it
<faz__> sam sells 6 copies
<n> oh yeah?
<n> well in that case
<n> i bet stonefire will get laid soon
#137029
[+PN] I tend to have my arms pointing like 30 degrees behind me when im running
[+PN] And stick to my toes.
[+PN] Not using full foot.
[%rammy] so like a fairy?
#39708
GS_TheProf on a motivation scale of 1 to 10
GS_TheProf im at weed
#15689
<rone> OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED. AGAIN.
<rone> hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net
<PetrDoubt> Yes, we did.
<PetrDoubt> Verio owns tabnet.
<rone> o fuck
#305947
<+wklyver> man, you ever get something to work, but you aren't quite sure how
<+Cuntism> i made my gf cum once
<+Cuntism> does that count
#25163
<Motaro > Live Journal would've been so much better if it were called Jive Journal.
<cylinder > shoudl've been called STICK YOUR FUCKING LIFE IN HERE AND THEN WHINE WHEN PEOPLE MAKE CRUDE COMMENTS Journal
#49822
-!- chimneysweep has joined #n
< chimneysweep> Evening.
< LittleViking> Afternoon.
< Blazeraid> Morning
< dr_tetris_PhD> Evening.
< Templex> Afternoon.
< LittleViking> Stupid timezones...
Comment: #n on mware
#311438
<ednos> lol, I accidentally started a flame war in work IRC about the gopher protocol
<ednos> I fucking love this company
Comment: they work at red hat
#1367
(_dev) you go get what you want for supper
(_dev) and i will cook it
(Ashley) wings!
(TwinWorkn) Ashley: with dry weave?
(TwinWorkn) for added panty protection?
#310401
<Zavie> Saga_Musix this actually happened when opening my Internet line: "Do you want a phone?" "hmm why not, how much? ok then." ... later: "Please write your name, address, phone number..." "I don't have a phone number." "We need a phone number." "You do realize you are asking me for a phone number to open a phone line?" (embarrased) "yes, it's a little stupid"
#2431
<Chocobo> blt: I'll hire you as a debt collector, your first job is to reach into your pocket and gimme money
#3690
geoffduman: :: watches a movie with 2 word documents open, mail running and 3 im conversations going with absolutely no problems ::
e l i t e m r p: yeah well once i get my new pc ill watch 2 movies, with no word cause i dont have it, but instead ill open PS and load high res porn for midget transformation, then ill chat with hot 13 year olds via AIM AND ICQ... while LAUGHING AT YOU