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#294880
ElandurGGG: That'd be sweet if right before the new president got sworn in, the old president was getting sworn out in some dark dungeon, where he'll be locked up chained to a wall until he starves to death.
ElandurGGG: That'd be a SWEET tradition.
EstherMeowMix: hahha
ElandurGGG: And people could come see him whenever, and give him food.
ElandurGGG: And the judgement of how good the president was is based on how long people keep coming to feed him.
EstherMeowMix: yeah
ElandurGGG: How long it takes until everyone just loses interest and stops visiting.
EstherMeowMix: wow that's some sadistic shit
ElandurGGG: I think it's the best thing I've ever written.

#53043
<MajorDeath> Anyone else having trouble connecting to the forums?
<Chuck_F_Norris> I know what your trouble is.
* Chuck_F_Norris roundhouse kicks MajorDeath in the face.
<Chuck_F_Norris> Problem fixed.
<MajorDeath> doh
<MajorDeath> nope, that didn't help!
<MajorDeath> do it again
* Chuck_F_Norris roundhouse kicks MajorDeath in the groin.
<Chuck_F_Norris> I can't fix ugly people, but i can prevent them from making more.

#4036
<Tragician> MOTHER...FUCKING...FIREWALL!
<mightyflo> that's a horrible mental image

#4791
<Aaron> +v
*** Crappy sets mode: +v Aaron
<Aaron> typing +v made crappy put me on +v automatically?
<Crappy> maybe, try typing +b :)
<Aaron> +b
*** Crappy sets mode: +b *!*@m57-mp1-cvx1a.bre.ntl.com

#8590
<mrempire> humm
<mrempire> -7% burning an iso here
<mathew2> now we know why you work for PC World.

#1700
thep0et> i can pull my scrotum up to the point where it looks like a pussy

#46079
<reddave1982> I got the 24-hr garage night shift blues
<Langly> what planet are you on that has 24 hour nights?
<microwiz> are there parts of earth that are dark for 24h?  i know there are parts that are light for 24h
<FMalibu> well yes one implies the other
<FMalibu> probably antarctica or something is pretty much dark all day long by now?
* FMalibu imagines what kind of night shifts they have there...
<FMalibu> right, you'll be on pinguin duty...
<microwiz> PENGUIN GARAGE
<Langly> Terrapin Garage
<microwiz> insert "it looks like you blew a seal" joke here

#15897
Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread

#17093
<phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
<juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have aids!"

#8752
<Linguica> do you even know what facetious means
<pickle_hammer> yeah I am facetious
<pickle_hammer> all the way
<pickle_hammer> I go to facetious parades and stuff

#304473
< gordonjcp> oh deary me, someone has emailed me asking for advice on running a MUD under ax25d
< gordonjcp> yeah
< gordonjcp> 'cos individually, MUDs and packet radio aren't geeky enough by themselves
Comment: #scotlug

#23701
Jakefeb3: if i brought a cat in my backback and let it out during finals do you think i would get in trouble
AvatarOfSolusek: which finals?
Jakefeb3: math
AvatarOfSolusek: ...probably not
AvatarOfSolusek: Mrs. J woulnd't care much
Jakefeb3: well if a cat bums outa my backpack dont be suprized
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
AvatarOfSolusek: ok
Jakefeb3: and if fireworks shoot out of its mouth after it comes outa my backpack..... dont be suprized of that either

#296744
<+k0tash> I once had a hard drive clunk-clicking
<+k0tash> Strange noises, wierd sounds and tick-ticking
<+k0tash> I thought I would wait
<+k0tash> And procrastinate...
<+k0tash> but now all my data is missing :(

#60442
Splunge: perfect, mission accomplished
Splunge: I've just modified my CTCP Finger response
Splunge: now, every time someone fingers me, it'll tell them my current Purity score, and then decrement it by 0.2%
Splunge: so the more I get fingered, the less pure I become

#15183
<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe".  i didn't get the job.

#7339
<NeSSa`> yeah but he isnt fucking him?
<[ben]> not to my knowledge...jason was walkin a little funny tonight though

#9095
<cams> eewwww
<cams> my mom got that easy squirt shit
<cams> purple ketchup
<nzc> now you can be flaming while you eat, too.

#301005
Kage_Jittai: I had a dream last night... that my "uptime" command broke, and I couldn't fix it...
Kage_Jittai: actually... I could fix it... but it required rebooting :(
Kage_Jittai: I ended up crying

#58806
<~knuck> Faptime.
<~knuck> I came. (20mins 15secs)
<~knuck> knuck's fap count for 2006: 137 times. Last came 41secs ago. Total faptime: 2days 3hrs 17mins 53secs. Average faptime: 22mins 28secs. 1.199546 faps/day.
<Zem> sometimes I hate my capacity for visual speculation

#29639
(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN
(@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu
—› quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet) (Read error: EOF from client)

#14462
<@Breathe> I hurt my back last week, and it is still hurting. >:(
<SirPrux> Maybe you sprained a muscle
<SirPrux> I sprained a cucumber once
<@Breathe> ...
<SirPrux> man did it hurt
<@Breathe> you sprained a cucumber?
<huzyrdadi> I think he means he sprained his asshole /using/ a cucumber

#15724
<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes.  policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing

#38087
<niteshade> wtf, why is Pringles so popular in japan?
<blakat> the funky flavors, US only gets the regular, boring ones. I've never seen the Cheese and Onion ones outside of Korea though
<niteshade> regular boring?
<blakat> plain, sour cream and onion, pizza-licious, cheez-ums.. Those are the regular flavors..
<blakat> asia gets interesting stuff like: Pizza Margarita, German Bacon, Mexican Tacos, Spanish Salsa, Crispy Curry, Spicy Consomme, Cheese and Onion, Grilled Shrimp and Pepper...
<sendai> Because you can't eat just one
<gelfie> because MSG is addictive. its nicotine for food.
<blakat> and japanese love salty food
<gelfie> is that why they invented bukkake?

#59529
<ArchPlan> I'm expecting an onslaught of malware to my company's network this week... we're temporarily disabling the firewall.
<ArchPlan> alot of malware may already be dormant on the company's machines, but then again, some new stuff might come as well
<fr_gment> So why not install some sort of warning system, by hanging out lanterns:
<fr_gment> One if by LAN, Two if by C:\

#17861
<ouija666> this gay guy was bitching about only being with guys with small dicks
<ouija666> which is pointless if you have a gaping queer anus
<ouija666> so i say like
<ouija666> he needs a tattoo on his ass that reads 'you must be this tall (arrow) to ride this ride'

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