Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#5523
<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file
#119039
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far
#7954
<wisner> I walked past a protest on Market Street yesterday evening.
<wisner> I didn't burst out laughing, but I really had to work for it.
<wisner> It was JEWISH LESBIANS FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
<wisner> There was singing.
#4099
(ALF) KMFDM: you havent blown your load in so long, the next bitch will prolly have to chew before she swallows
#15826
<vqhmdragn> rawk!
<S4murai> exactly
<vqhmdragn> twat I cunt hear you I must have a ear infucktion, plz cum closer
<S4murai> I too have an ear infucktion butits ok, I have a pill to take every half whore
<vqhmdragn> I'm afriad I cunt afwhored such a pill :(
S4murai> a little less expenisive is a small prick to your finger. Tit's the Doctwhore's bill that'll clit you in the end.
<vqhmdragn> so twats up s4murai?
<S4murai> nut much, you?
<vqhmdragn> just chillin out
<vqhmdragn> wait, it's midnut, I just turned 18, that's twats up
<S4murai> really? that's ballsome!
<vqhmdragn> yea now I can buy cigs legaly, I cuntent bewhore
#38044
(StickMutilator) I was stuck in Mario for a long time.........I didn't realise you could jump
#3452
<Blackmail> I should get a realdoll
<Blackmail> imagine me applying for a loan for that from my bank "yeah, I need a love doll"
<tobdude> LOL
<zerox> I'm sure you could get a realdoll on ebay for half the price
<Blackmail> ew, a used one
<Blackmail> and not made the way I want it either
<zerox> is this the one you want Blackmail
<zerox> http://www.realdoll.com/maledoll1.html
<aNuBiS-> hahah
<Blackmail> I want a she-he-doll
<tobdude> thats so wrong
<CanOfSpam> We're long overdue for an Oprah doll
<Blackmail> UPS won't take anything that heavy
<CanOfSpam> oh
#13567
<SarahS> You can remove testicles?
<Phenom6996> Yep
<Phenom6996> and breasts
<Phenom6996> It requires special tools
<ajplus1> yeah....a knife
#82688
Robin: goats eat their placentas
Pan Man 120: i actually could have lived without knowing that
Robin: so do some people
Pan Man 120: efuckingw
Pan Man 120: heres an idea robin
Pan Man 120: why dont we talk about kittens
Robin: cats have barbed dicks
#34231
<medium> crrj, i complained to my help desk last night at my class about not being able to use linux on their network
<medium> and i got yelled at for installing linux, they said "it corrupts laptop hard drives, it fills it with useless data"
<medium> lol
<GyPSY> lol
<medium> AND it kept booting to linux
<medium> and he said he couldn't boot from a floppy
<medium> because i had a bootloader installed (lilo)
<medium> even though in stark contrast on the boot menu, one of the options clearly says "floppy"
<GyPSY> haha
<+crrj-working> Sounds like you need a new school.
<medium> I agree
<medium> i am disappointed w/ the one i am at
* +crrj-working hands medium a clue-by-four and a clue-bat for applying LARTs with both hands.
Comment: Sometimes 'help desks' means the people working it need help.
#20182
<+timovgod> I had a penis transplant but my hand rejected it
#33647
<anity> bbyyyeeee
<ZestyO> ok, have fun
<anity> in the bath?
<anity> hehe i'll try
<ZestyO> plenty of fun to be had in a bath
<anity> *gets out rubber duck*
<ZestyO> jesus christ I so mis read that...
<anity> hehhe i was thinking that...i super carefull typied duck
<ZestyO> hehe
<ZestyO> the u and i keys are right next to eachother
<anity> hehhehe yeh
<anity> or maybe the 'duck* was a typo
<anity> ull never know
<anity> hehehhehehe
<ZestyO> lol
<anity> heheh i'll soon see when i get in the bath
#11178
<niles> If you use that logic, then using a completely open and unsecured network would be ok if you sealed the computer in a locked metal box, since it would deter physical attacks by baseball bats (ALL attacks are of equal value, right?). Or you could say that adding the line "WWJD" to the telnet login prompt would be a valid defense since it would lower the instance of attacks by Christians by 80%.
#14336
[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies
#711
<iln> she was taking her pants off one time
<iln> and her underwear
<iln> and i was watching from the back
<iln> and i said "damn. you have a nice ass."
<iln> then she got on all fours and said "you wanna put it in?"
<iln> and thats how i stole kristin doan's anal virginity.
#295235
* P2E is definitely not an expert
<derf> That makes two of us.
<P2E> uh, yeah, but I'm even less of an expert than that
<derf> There's only one way to fix that.
<P2E> aw, but reading is so HARD
<derf> No, I meant do stupid things repeatedly until you learn something.
Comment: #vorbis
#229087
<%kimini> best toilet graffiti i've ever seen
<%kimini> "I hate 2 things in life; irony and graffiti"
<%kimini> i shat myself laughing
<%kimini> but i was in the toilet, so it was ok.
#7127
*** Mezoth|work was kicked by Avie_work (the last guy that said, "I think you know what I want" to me ended up in the hospital. FOR SIX MONTHS.)
#8251
<AnneRobinson^> Do Canadians really like fart jokes for entertainment???
<shagman> fart jokes rock
<shagman> take this classic canadian joke for example
* shagman farts on IEatChildren
#32787
* soulbleed changes topic to 'Do you like: Shaved [4] Trimmed [0] Bushy [0] Landing Strip [2] Heart [1] fuck it aim for the ass [1]'
<02johnnyqu_> haha, best topic ever
<02johnnyqu_> but what's it about?
<02@soulbleed> .....................
#2818
<Jumper> bite me
<offwYtE> uMale or female?!?!
<Jumper> heh
<Jumper> u'll find out
<Jumper> ;D
<offwYtE> akkkkkk
<Jumper> haw haw
<offwYtE> taking blind date to a whole new level
<Gimpoid> lol
#51634
<f1agrant> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident.
#16698
*** marily-manson was kicked by Satan (amature)
#31097
<Kalin35> hey are u there
<apathy13> Yeah, I'm here.
<Kalin35> can some 1 gain access to an win98 comp.
<apathy13> Can I gain access to your ass?
<Kalin35> could u
<apathy13> Well that's entirely up to you, ya know.
<Kalin35> do u know how
<apathy13> Yeah, wit' a little lube and some determination, I think I could hack it.
<Kalin35> even if i had a firewall up
#10822
<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation, those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4 years...