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#52089
<Epesh> danielle's rack isn't huge but she's well-formed, like an XML document with proper namespacing and closures
#27235
<Burberry> inflammable = unable to be burned
<imagine> No, Burberry. Inflammable = Able to be burned.
<Burberry> i work with chemicals
<Burberry> your dead wrong
<knightmare> idiot
<Burberry> i only make a living putting shit in chemical bottles
#303435
<Nativehomie> married onijin?
<~onijin> no
<~onijin> I have a fleshlight
#33699
<AlmtyBob> I once hit this girl over the head with a shovel in the alley
<AlmtyBob> and while she lie wimpering on the ground
<AlmtyBob> I pissed all over her
<AlmtyBob> then I burnt her to death
<AlmtyBob> oh wait...that was postal 2
<@AlmtyBob> nm
Comment: #ramen
#43595
<Jesse> RedBeard: probably a good ice breaker would have been "man, this stuff doesn't look all that great" when you two were looking at the main food line
<Jesse> without the "man" part, though
<RedBeard> i dunno, i wouldnt find "man" to really be gender-specific
<RedBeard> it's a lot like "gee" or "whoa"
<Jesse> yeah, depends on the situation
<GreenToad> "woman! This food is crap!"
#52830
ryeenae: what's up with Vossoughi's wierd accent?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iranian
ryeenae: so, where is she from? Irania?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iran, dipshit
#29051
<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't polute humanitys gene pool
#1679
<Snapperhe> what 'flavour' of linux do you use?
<al-x> strawberry
<al-x> WITH A HINT OF NERDNILLA
#15435
<Setups> is it a forest fire?
<Setups> I CAN SEE THE SMOKE FROM MY HOUSE
<SneakyPete> wtf going on setups? what state?
<Setups> its in alberta
<Setups> canada
<Raider|FIRE> must be forest fire
<travelyan> they have fire in canada?
<Setups> fuck you
<Setups> eh
#4321
<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right
#47457
<d0ppy> I just had an idea
<d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom....
<cdkj> :/
<d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese
<cdkj> get a girlfriend please
#74351
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"
#305796
<Bunsen> Imagine a twinkie represents the normal amount of Murphy's Law activity at a nuclear power plant.
<Bunsen> Based on the current situation at Fukushima No. 1, their Twinkie is about thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
#304821
<ackville> speaking of rediculous browsing habits
<ackville> I once saw a guy right click a link to a YouTube video, click Email Link, email it himself (default email client is Thunderbird), open Outlook, get the mail back in, copy the link, then paste it into a new tab
<ackville> had serious trouble sleeping after seeing that abomination
<ackville> I was tempted to intervene and ask what the hell he was doing, but I feared for the safety of my braincells
#74243
<Omi> My brother thought it'd be funny to take keys from my keyboard and put them around the house
<Omi> And where he hid them depended on the key, so it was relevant in some way
<Omi> So he put the 'T' in the kitchen
<Omi> The up arrow on some porn mags
<Omi> The insert key in my stash of condoms
<Omi> The 'P' key in the bathroom
<Omi> The Print Screen key beside the digital camera
<Omi> The Delete key in the bin
<Omi> And the Escape key on an old French holiday brochure
#7022
<Ac3d> uh oh, i think i just sent a nude pic of me to my friends mom
#18574
<OlDirtyB> thats why i fuck sheep next to cliffs
<OlDirtyB> they push back
#19218
<TheWolf> god damn my fuckin bowels
<TheWolf> i wish the doctors would hurry up and fix this
<TheWolf> brb
<TheWolf> gotta shit AGAIN
#36288
<tammy> why do guys always try to act so macho all the time
<vercetti> because we're rugged!
<vercetti> now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sort my wash and wear from my delicates :D
#178576
<+sev> pegasus
<+sev> wake yo ass up
<@pegasus_> ?
<@pegasus_> i'm awake
<+sev> IRC dance competition
<+sev> go.
<@pegasus_> <o> \o/ <o/ \o>
<+sev> __o__ -_o__ --o__ _-o-_ __o-- __o_- __o__ }o{
<+sev> that's a wave followed by a goatse.
<@pegasus_> you win.
<+sev> yay!
#15510
<nickh> Last time I was there, I got a laught out of seeing a warehouse drone help a customer load stuff into their car.
<nickh> Not one, but *two* fuck swings. I guess you need to have a spare handy.
<kylev> well, you have the good one, and the one you use.
<kylev> you put up the good one when company is coming over
<nickh> Sort of like the "kids" table for those big family dinners.
#14417
<Titu§ Crow> does that upset you tsukiyo?
<Titu§ Crow> §)
<Tsukiyo> no
<Tsukiyo> do whatever floats your boat
<Tsukiyo> unless it has to do with me
<Titu§ Crow> I don't have a boat.
<Tsukiyo> swim then
<Titu§ Crow> What the hell are you talking about?
#40176
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: yeah, like masturbation
Adam Atlas: Heh.
Adam Atlas: Go make the sound of one hand clapping.
Adam Atlas: I like that euphemism even better.
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: me too
Adam Atlas: My personal favorite, though, is "dealing with the issue at hand." It sounds very professional, in a cryptic sort of way.
Adam Atlas: "Please excuse me, I need to go deal with the issue at hand."
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: or you could put it in a letter
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: "Madam or Sir, we are sending this letter in regards to the issue at hand"
Adam Atlas: But what if the person asks what the issue is? It would be hard to respond
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: just say it's a "personal matter"
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
#37314
<Redd_Jedi> When people say "Have you been penetrated" does that mean have they been shot?
<Plog> o_O
<Squirtle> O_O
<Redd_Jedi> What?
<Plog> Redd_Jedi: When you have a man and a woman.
<Redd_Jedi> WHOA WHOA WHOA I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING
<Plog> they order a bird to drop a baby down their chimney.
<Plog> And the baby is penetrating the chimney you see. >_>
<Redd_Jedi> So that's what it means <_<
#6547
<Soulphonat> My cat only speaks in analog
<Soulphonat> it's cute