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#10052
<Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she wants
<Kiz`> just go up to a guy
<Kiz`> "sex?"
<Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
<Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?
#54703
MofattP: bleh, I'm fighting a sinus infection. My snot looks like a fruit loops commercial
MofattP: Green Mucus!
MofattP: Yellow Chunks!
MofattP: Red Streaks!
MofattP: Follow your nose!
MofattP: If it had marshmellow suprises, I could market my snot as a breakfast cereal.
#33617
(@Sh3kel) I'm bored to the point I'm considering installing Black and White :/
#301336
<allesklar> So I went to the bar. Asked for a drink Haitian style. The bartender looked at my funny, I said Shaken, not Stirred
#1145
<aard> blackrose: you're so goth, you shit bats.
#32225
<splice> courier new is the supreme essay expander font
<splice> you can write one sentence and courier new it into a three page thesis
#58230
<BBX25> I wonder...why don't male humans eat their children? It happens a lot in the animal kingdom!
<BBX25> *Pictures a man with his mouth open, right at the mouth of the Vagina in a labour room, as the baby crowns*
<Emerl> SPAWN CAMPING
<Emerl> >_>
<RandomExtremity> gahahahhaa
<RandomExtremity> Emerl win
<Emerl> Sorry, had to say it
<BBX25> XDDD EMERL
<BBX25> Baby "S**tty map"
<BBX25> Mother "Crappy team"
<BBX25> Nurse "Lag!"
<RandomExtremity> Father "pwnt"
#17298
<xenothrope> WHO IS THE MOST TALENTED PRON STAR?!?!
<hoho> ron jeremy
<[H]Lasuuco> me
<[H]Lasuuco> i can wack off on command
<xenothrope> peter north owns jeremy
<hoho> nah
<isajeep> ummm
<[H]Lasuuco> lol
<isajeep> im not prepared to argue the better parts of male porn stars
<NickBlasta> dont lie jeep
<hoho> jeep, im going by the fact that the guy is fat, ugly, and old but still gets laid every day.
<isajeep> I said im not prepared...I don't have my slides ready
<xenothrope> lmao jeep
<isajeep> hoho thats because he(like me) has mastered his body
<NickBlasta> ROFL
<isajeep> wait
<hoho> so you're fat and ugly like him?
<isajeep> that might sund wrong
<isajeep> *sound
#58806
<~knuck> Faptime.
<~knuck> I came. (20mins 15secs)
<~knuck> knuck's fap count for 2006: 137 times. Last came 41secs ago. Total faptime: 2days 3hrs 17mins 53secs. Average faptime: 22mins 28secs. 1.199546 faps/day.
<Zem> sometimes I hate my capacity for visual speculation
#55159
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement
#2683
<PolestaR> nah you can survive short periods
<PolestaR> in space
<PolestaR> but its cold isnt it aswell
<PolestaR> I donno for sure
#118537
<Incandenza> tracklisting of this album sounds awesome
<Incandenza> 1. "It's Complicated Being a Wizard" 23:00
<Incandenza> 2. "Opal Magic" - 0:50
<Incandenza> 3. "Ruby Magic" - 4:04
<Incandenza> 4. "Sapphire Magic" - 2:19
<Incandenza> 5. "Amethyst Magic" - 2:18
<Incandenza> 6. "Emerald Magic" - 2:31
<Incandenza> 7. "Amber Magic" - 3:25
<Incandenza> 8. "Gold Magic" - 2:27
<Incandenza> 9. "Crystal Magic" - 1:27
<Incandenza> 10. "Black Magic" - 3:37
#33092
<Tuxedo_Jack> Apparently, if a cat sits on a keyboard for six seconds, Windows will shut itself down.
#28954
knockout: yo brian, i just bought a shit load of weed!
flyinbri: this is brians mother
knockout: oh...fuck, bye
#55316
<Analogy> I haven't taken a shower in days.
<Analogy> DAYS.
* silentjoe backs away from analogy
<Analogy> My hair has so much oil in it, Bush is gonna invade it next.
#565
<phiber_> where's my boot disk? how can i be a hacker without linux?
#35740
the_white2086: just thinking, 2 saddest thing I have seen for a while
the_white2086: 1) instructions on toothpicks
the_white2086: 2) warning many contain traces of nuts (on a bag of penuts)
phlipping: how do you fit instructions on a toothpick?
phlipping: they're pretty small
the_white2086: packet of toothpicks
phlipping: well, if you use small enough type, then "Put tooth here -->" would suffice
the_white2086: :))
the_white2086: seriously though
the_white2086: 1) moisten tip gently with tounge
the_white2086: 2) insert between teeth with flat edge next ot gum
the_white2086: 3) use with a gentle in/out rocking motion
phlipping: I don't know what's more sad. That there were instructions on a toothpick packet or that you remember them
#301600
Ariel: i can't find my bball practice uniform
Ariel: he's gonna make me run all practice
Bryan: D:
Ariel: I checked the wardrobe, the laundry the closet and still can't find it
Bryan: check the bed!
Ariel: It wouldn't be there
Bryan: i once found a hammer in the fridge don't tell me you can't find clothes in a bed
#2617
<Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.
#33656
<CrazyMYKL> killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> heh, this isn't a terminal
<Brisby> /exec -o killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> i know, it was wrong window tho
* Brisby giggles at CrazyMYKL
<CrazyMYKL> /exec -o echo "killall cat" > ~/curiosity.sh
#14827
(ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.
#204833
< tripletech> do old people really say pew pew pew? i thought that was a 00s thing
<@Fib> tripletech of course, winston churchill himself said in his famous speech "we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, pew pew pew!"
< fansipans> "do not want" was originally a prohibition protest song
< pmv> i thought it was the civil rights movement
< fansipans> pmv no that was can has
< pmv> haha
< fansipans> remember martin luther king's famous speech "i can has a dream" ?
< pmv> i can has cheezeburger was black slang for equal rights
< fansipans> well back in those days cheeseburgers were only served in the "whites only" section of diners
< fansipans> so it really was a rallying cry for many
< pmv> nice
Comment: #cobol
#102068
Geist: I installed a personal wiki yesterday.
Geist: And man...
Geist: Vandalism just isn't the same.
#18873
<dave2> BEING SEVEN IS SO LONELY
<dave2> I CAN'T BAG ANY CHICKS BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE COOTIES
#234739
< pegwole> hrm it's 64 degrees out
< Kajarii> cool
< pegwole> is it bad that when i read that i wanted to put a k on the end of 64?
< pegwole> god i'm such a geek
< Kajarii> Yeah, I'd have worried even more if you'd said it was 0x40 degrees out.
Comment: #linuxcranks