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#69532
<clifgriffin> Women idolize a level of beauty only achievable through Photoshop.
#296747
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#28809
<danamania> I feel like such a nerd. I was watching a discovery channel documentary with hitler in it, and they're all up there doing the marching and the saluting and I thought they were chanting "seg fault... seg fault"
#7219
<Sundancer> DE: "The truth is out there" :)
<DarkElf> sunny: yeah, thank god it's out there and not in here with us
#304713
<egreos> you know you're a nerd when you watch porn and pause it to see what textbooks the schoolgirl is carrying so you can judge her attractiveness based on her subjects.
<egreos> she was apparently studying "dictionary", so i turned it off.
<egreos> if it had been a physics book I would have been all over that shit.
#140216
<Pit> I take off your shirt
<Pit> undressing you slowly
<Pit> you're a girl, right?
<dest> no :|
<Pit> I put on your shirt
<Pit> quickly
<Pit> and leave
#38535
<mata> so my friend is telling me this story... hes going at it with this chick.. . her beds on the floor on top of a box spring.. but still on the floor.. so hes banging this chick.. and all of the sudden her dog comes over and LICKS HIS ANUS..full on anal lick. went straight for it.. not a cheeck not a leg.. but his ANUS... but like a trooper he kept pumping away and just tried to push the dog away with his other hand
#57085
< Necr0s-> What makes a woman's nipples hard for days?
< withnail> superglue
< El^JonBen> death
< Kobi> botox
#308580
<+abum> where is siloam springs
<d4> its a mystery
<d4> one of those un-google-able locations
<zap> even if you were to open google right now and type "where is siloam springs"
<zap> it wouldn't say "arkansas"
<d4> it just says "go ask on irc" and there's no link
Comment: #efnet
#34704
<Dark-> i need more monitors
<SlackDug> Dark-: www.amazon.com
<Dark-> correction then: I need more money
Comment: #geekissues
#305766
Cycron | the first thing i thought of when i heard that Japan moved several feet: "their GPS is totally messed up now"
Comment: irc.ecnet.org
#1968
<MrSede> If it could balance a beer on its head without spilling I'd give it props, but any rodent can balance a pancake on its noggin
#300835
<Pryoidain> It's bad when I'm watching a porno and I suddenly realize "Hey, I know this song. It was in that other porno."
#15460
<ll|||ll||> I meant to say to ant.. "Use themeat from the fridge so we don't have to defrost stuff for dinner".. but I said.. [16:49.43] <ll|||ll||> "Use the meat from the fridge so we don't have to download stuff for dinner"
#40846
<Mac-arena> you know, if the cleverness of spammers could be harnessed for good, the world would be perfect within a week
<RemyDWD> With larger penises for all?
Comment: #adium on Freenode
#8215
<DotSPF> man, my mate is a complete div.
<DotSPF> he asked for my help coz he'd forgotten his hotmail password - I go round to see if he's put in a secret question so I can resurrect his account.
<DotSPF> what a prick
<DotSPF> his secret question was 'what is my password'
<DotSPF> i'm gonna go out and see if I can find him a cheap iMac
#54444
DarkBio Azriel: GOD!
DarkBio Azriel: WHY CAN'T MY STUPID CAT OBEY ME.
Lyon Darkheart: God's themesong.
Lyon Darkheart: And Ned Stark's.
Waddacku: It's a cat. They don't obey, they order.
ToasterStrube: Beacause it's not a dong Az
ToasterStrube: *dog
Lyon Darkheart: *snicker*
ToasterStrube: damn that was a bad typo...
Waddacku: It's not a dong, it's a pussy?
#36156
<@ICY> ANY NEWS YOU FECKERS?
<@cepe> IM ANNOYED
<@cepe> ISP SI MUCH FAG
<@ICY> CLEARLEY
<@ICY> I HAVE SPENT ALL DAY ANSWERING EMAILS FROM PEOPLE WHO ONLY WRITE TECH SUPPORT QUESTIONS ABOUT PALMS LIKE THIS THE FUCKERS
<@cepe> 'NEAT'
<@ICY> I wish I could reply "Turn the fucking caps lock off you cock,you'r scum,the scum of the world,your giving me a headache and I dont really want to help you now"
<@ICY> cept I have to reply "Thank you for contacting PalmOne Technical Support..." etc
<@ICY> fs
#387
<deft-> i always type /dick instead of /nick on accident =
#37005
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven
#1018
(SpAc3d) i hate when [movie groups] release shitty quality stuff like TS and Cam's
(SpAc3d) its a fuckin waste of space
(mistical) like Hannibal *upsidedown cam* *real* *subtitled* *in japanesse*
#129
<cndz> what would jesus do>
<Josh> probably get crucified and die
#303118
<fbcash> has anyone here flashed their xbox before?
<warbucks> no, but I once showed my dick to a nintendo DS
#190588
(Sweet^Angel) hi
(Sweet^Angel) im banned
(Sweet^Angel) from some channel
(Sweet^Angel) by ip
(Sweet^Angel) what to do to come back?
(Sweet^Angel) ???????????????????????????
(Sweet^Angel) ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
(phlux) do you remember the nickname of the person that banned you?
(Sweet^Angel) never
(phlux) type /quit theirnick to make them quit IRC. Then you will be let back in.
(Sweet^Angel) #Dubai unable to join channel (address is banned)
<-- Sweet^Angel has quit (Quit: theirnick to make them quit IRC. Then you will be let back in)
#12940
<SkoL> mofo must be drunk
<Tweedle> |OUF|mofo: you getting AMD?
<|OUF|mofo> no
<Tweedle> yeah he's drunk