Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#5604
<neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
<neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
<neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
<neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
<neo[soul]> fucking idiot
#56934
* ilsa waves her magic wand! omega turns into a cup of coffee!
* ilsa drinks the coffee
<ilsa> only way you're getting in my pants, baybee
<[O`megaX]> ilsa, totally worth it
#7991
<someone>: how good does txt compress?
<overmind>: rather good, they often can be compressed to 10% of their original volume
<someone>: no, i meant which one compresses better doc-files or txt, because I want to export my icq-history and in word it has 600 pages, so which one should i take?
<overmind>: take word and set the font size to 1, so you get the best compression
#303315
<Griff> vuvuzela's are like children.. they can be annoying as hell until you have your own one
<Foulwynd> and then blow it..
Comment: #worldofraids
#309217
<Ender> Every day when I get up I intend to get all kinds of work done.
<Ender> Then everything goes horribly wrong. :)
<devnull> every day when i get up i intend to get as little work done as possible.
<devnull> Then everything goes horribly wrong.
#55431
[`42`Kyle] `42` is a one man clan
[orangekid] can i join?
[`42`Kyle] ...
#30849
<JFeeple> OONGABOONGAWOONIEWEEKIETOOVIE!
<OrcaW> I was only joking that you should take meth Feeps :p
#4380
<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.
<Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he was half-erect in his pants.
<Spork> Which he was.
#20
<Dr_DOS> My fish get scared of pizza boxes.
<Dr_DOS> They think they're giant borg ships or smth
<repp0r> Don't put an anchovie pizza near your fish.
#228
<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard
#14904
<drunker> whats's the microsoft.com site
#37968
<Norgus> I bought cheapy headphones and they sound like some sailor stuck his dick in my ear.
#7273
( CraNDaWG ) i just watched like 6 ddr videos and i must say
( CraNDaWG ) that is the _gayest_ bullshit i have ever seen
( Lev ) you know, real men who rustle cows and weld stuff prolly think us playing computer games and giggling at each others gayness on irc is the _gayest_ bullshit
#28717
<B_Goodin> Self deprecation is always amusing
<B_Goodin> :-/
<B_Goodin> and so is farting
<Mark> especially when you light them
<B_Goodin> KABOOM!
<-- eric has quit (Ping timeout)
<Mark> You blew Eric off the channel!
#19538
<zin> If i suddenly turned into a woman i'd quit my job and just feel my boobs all day
#1978
~ tiko wishes he was part of this seceret club known as "jew"
(tiko) but when the entry fee is part of your cock, I think I'll pass
#197
*** topic in #ramen is 'When your cablemodems combine, I am, Captain Pirate! :'
#299680
<TugC> hey anyone want some freshly tested proxies?
<Syn> yes
<TugC> xxxxxxxx.com/xxxxxx
<Xero> i want some too TugC
<Xero> holy
<Xero> fucking
<TugC> i tested all of them today in charon
<Xero> HEY
<TugC> what
<Xero> ONE OF THOSE IS MY SERVERS IP
<Xero> YOU FUCKING FUCK
#38848
<remisser> Man... I really have to walk in to Condomworld and see what kind of people work there.
<comet_11> they're probably dicks
#7951
<sommerfeld> perl: what you get when you take a couple features from every known language and toss them in a blender.
<sommerfeld> with 20g of crack and a dab of lsd
<perry> sommerfeld: the LSD is purely for flavor.
#188547
<Technocactus> It was actually better when my dad found my porn than when he found out I watched Oprah.
#297866
< Brat> I dreamt that my cat had become unsatisfied with all the love and affection that I gave her and that she started looking online at cat "personals", which are really just pages and pages of people's hands in the "cat petting" position, with profile information like "looking for a loving cat to stroke" "SWM looking for classy cat", etc. etc.
< Brat> It ended up with me getting on my knees and promising that I'd give her twice as much attention.
< Brat> :( Then I woke up.
#49772
<kyrih> I'm out, cya all!
<DM> me 2
* DM is now known as DM-off
* kyrih is now known as kyrih-off
* merc is now known as merc-off
* logan is now known as logan-off
<jack> well...maybe not
#14485
<jodaro> hmm, my mom just invited me over for dinner
<jodaro> mm, free food
<stu> you mean your mum doesn't charge for dinner?
<jodaro> no
<stu> damn
#37558
<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
Comment: ZiRC