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#308447
<nathan> I think % is secretly the symbol for a titfuck
#48318
<Ryouko> yo feed me german sentences to say to him
<ViscountPherget> ich will deinen Rücken küssen während ich dir meinen Schwanz einführe
<Ryouko> ok, lol
<Ryouko> what does that mean btw
<ViscountPherget> let me kiss your back while I insert my cock into you
<Ryouko> AW FUCK MAN
<ViscountPherget> lol
#112746
<Stirk> The fuck is wrong with fox news
<Spitfire3292> everything
<Stirk> No, the WILDfires are not caused by al queda
<Stirk> Damn idiots
#40274
<mog> I've always had a beautiful line that I've been saving
<mog> for whenever I announce a football game
<mog> "Like a pedophile in a playground, that runningback has been penetrating small holes"
<magpie> haha
<Wintermute> oh man
<mog> one day, gents
<mog> one day
<Wintermute> I'd suggest that to my bro(he's done HS football radio before, a couple games), but ... no
<Wintermute> I think he may want to keep his job
<mog> oh come on
<mog> it's hilarious
<Wintermute> yeah
<Wintermute> but mog, you must understand, he lives in North Carolina
<mog> good poitn
<mog> better change "pedophile" to "priest"
#143212
<AllAgesDave> There are two seniors in here reading a copy of A Catcher in the Rye, and debating the meaning of the word "illiterate."
<AllAgesDave> One is saying it means "literature" and the other says it means "insane".
<Dre> :-[
<AllAgesDave> They just decided upon "language." Fuck my generation.
#35581
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> I'm not too happy with my Spanish teacher
<Mayseth> What'd he do?
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> She gave us some book about a kid who gets a magic ring and whenever he sees a painting, he goes back in time to that place where the picture was taken or painted
<Mayseth> How..gay..
<AiMeE[Away]> that sounds like a stupid book
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> So I asked her "Does he ever look at picture of Hiroshima or Nagasaki around 1945?"
#44056
(idler) bear with me
(QFoundation) want me to call animal control?
#10705
<Xellchiri> BFS, I have a message for you
<BloodFromStone> A message for me?
<BloodFromStone> From whom?
<Xellchiri> Darthie
<Xellchiri> "May you be cursed with the flatulence of a rabid camel."
<BloodFromStone> Xell: Hrmm... I find myself uninjured by her attacks. =P
* Xellchiri rolls 1d20 :: 8
<Xellchiri> yeah, she missed
#39733
Jaeger2288: actually your right, i dont aim i just unzip and let gravity and mass do the rest
longlivemarneus: lmfao
Jaeger2288: sorta like those installed ironing boards, if you hit the button its gunna come out hard and fast and someone may get hurt
#4457
<phubuh> WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THIS
<phubuh> I JUST DOWNLOADED SoF2 AND IT WAS BLACK&WHITE
<phubuh> OH I KNOW I'LL NAME IS SOF2 SO MORE PEOPLE DOWNLOAD FROM ME AND USE MY BANDWITH OR HEY WAIT A MINUTE
<Katana> I tried downloading Harry Potter and got Ancient Secrets of Asian Sex
#27844
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit
#325
*** Signoff: meredith- (Random number generation is too important to be left to chance)
#296974
<Raisin> Here's what I learned from Lifetime TV
<Raisin> Never go jogging or you'll get raped
#3809
<Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
<Scofco> I pass out
<Scofco> well, I actually faint
<Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me
#120
<DigDug> warez > sex
<kisama> it is true.
<kisama> i'd rather watch a progress bar than have sex.
#19386
<Kr1sten> I lost my virginity last night
<[zT]Lunchie> Oh shit! Get it back! You have to find!!!
<[zT]Lunchie> I'll look in the car, you look by the sofa.
<Kr1sten> You are such an ass.
#56977
<evilAdmin> WTF!
<evilAdmin> Me and some co-workers saw V for Vendetta on Friday. One of my friends is completly obsessed with the movie.
<evilAdmin> So my buddy is missing today. He does the Unix and Linux shit in the office (I do hardware).
<evilAdmin> Then a white fuckin' van shows up mid 3PM that says "FOR YOUR PROTECTION" on the back. Some dude with a complete Guy Fawkes costume and mask hopes out, complete with boots, cape, tophat, (presumably) fake knifes, and a V Mask. Everyone is like "WTF!?1111!".
<evilAdmin> Dude comes upstairs and has "SYS V" printed on his back and "V SYS" on the front. He starts handing out floppies with AT&T System V (5) Unix on them. Doesn't say a fucking word. Everyone is clueless. The guy handed out like 300 floppies and nobody knows what to do with them.
<evilAdmin> Then he hops back into his white fan and drives away.
<evilAdmin> WTF???
#42161
<masteralpher> I WILL RAPE YOUR ANOS FAT BITCH
<masteralpher> STOP IMING ME
<arahi`jr> and cut
<arahi`jr> ok lets go back over that
<arahi`jr> this time spell anus right
<arahi`jr> and action
<masteralpher> send me your pic and i wont to rape your anus then
<arahi`jr> ok cut. brilliant, this time with a little more emotion. maybe all caps again, go back to that. that was working.
<arahi`jr> and roll film
<arahi`jr> action
#9027
<Syncope> kris's birth certificate was an apology letter from the abortion clinic
#39145
(@Wabz) Is it wrong to download Warez and then ask for help from the programs support forums?
#101024
<@Catcher> haha
<@Catcher> i just left a note in my sisters weed box-- "Jes, We need to talk. -Mom"
<@var> hahahahahhaa
< wind`> lol
< TMH> hahaha
<@Catcher> shes going to shit her pants for like 2 seconds until she sees the back of the note
Comment: #geekissues @ EFNet
#56161
<Apophis> "marry such women as seem good to you, 2, 3, or 4, or if you fear you will not do justice (between them) then marry only one or what your right hand possesses"
<Apophis> am I correct in understanding this Koran passage to say, "Marry 2, 3, or 4 hot babes, or, if you can't handle them, either marry just one of them, or jerk off."
<Apophis> if so, I could get used to islam.
<olaf> lol
<Apophis> its win-win
<Apophis> either I get multiple hot babes, or I can masturbate without sinning
#9358
<treph> when the topic is something that I care about? that's circular definition. sorry.
<ShaneBe> what do you care about?
<treph> I care when the argument considers present or imminent action.
<treph> and also when it's mathematical - in the old sense of mathematical
<ShaneBe> like whether or not to remove yourself from burning buildings?
<treph> yeah.
#8256
<BounceWithMe> Shagman... 8==o suck it.
<@shagman> BounceWithMe... ())========D choke on it.
#76413
< Swuave> Scopophobia is a fear of being looked at.
< Swuave> LOL, i'de like to see someone with that fear.
<@SantaBJ> they wouldn't.