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#27930
(@ian) my neighbor must have been like 5 or 6 yrs old
(@ian) and i was in like 4th grade
(@ian) so my friend (who lives on the other side of this kid)
(@ian) we drank some cokes
(@ian) and we were bored
(@ian) so we went out in the woods and pissed inside one of the cans
(@ian) and between both of us we like filled it up
(@ian) so then we were like hey justin.... this pop is warm i don't want it
(@ian) OK LEFT M3 HAFT IT PWEEZE!
(@ian) THIF TAFTE LAIK PISS KTHX
(@ian) *drinks some more*
(@ian) GROSS
(@ian) throws it down
(@ian) YOU GUYS SUCK
(@ian) *leaves*
(@ian) then his mom got all pissed off
(@ian) now that i think about it
(@ian) it's bad enough to drink a pop can that 2 other people's dicks have been on
(@ian) despite the fact that he drank half a coke can of piss
#19000
* harb goes to do something totally wild and out of his head.
<harb> See you at the diner.
*** harb has quit IRC (Quit: michief. mayhem. soap.)
<Danelope> Eating lunch is "totally wild"? Jesus Christ, that boy needs to get out more often.
<Danelope> New from the producers of "Girls Gone Wild" and "Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break", it's "Bryan Allen Goes Wild!"
<Danelope> Watch as Bryan goes crazy and...eats chicken!
<Danelope> YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES!
#10947
<@Drezdar> This summer I'm gonna buy a DDR pad. I figure I can kill three birds with one stone by doing this: 1) play a game, 2) exercise, 3) swear off heterosexuality for good.
#147203
<Giichi> so I saw a jeep for sale with the decal in the front, Christian Offroad Association
<DragonJoeCool> what doesn't Jesus do?
<Giichi> gays
<DragonJoeCool> true enough
#31496
<tinman> Do you put antlers on your pussy?
<tinman> er
<tinman> that wasn't for this channel
#15191
<fahrvergnugen> wow
<fahrvergnugen> I've totally avoided being in geekissues qdb.
<fahrvergnugen> neat.
<fahrvergnugen> ....
<fahrvergnugen> as it now dawns on me, at this moment, that saying that on an irc channel is REALLY DUMB.
#2056
<Dr_zapp> sek: you find the hex adress?
<Sekmu> yes.
<Dr_zapp> and it is....?
*** Quits: Paco- (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
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<Arsentia> This is like when the informer is about to tell the detective the identity of the murderer, and then he gets shot. :)
#17058
<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo
#8705
<Jon-> doing some C coding ;)
<Anselmo> pfft
<Anselmo> Learn a real language
<Anselmo> Like Amiga Basic
#5782
<djm> irc's my anti-drug
#53339
<BigFish> aaah fuck, I'm gonna look like a right prat for the college photos today :(
<ruster> why?
<BigFish> I've got a black eye and a bruise right on my chin
<ruster> wtf, how'd that happen!?
<BigFish> well, I was at the womens kickboxing centre in town, chatting up this girl
<ruster> hehe, the girls there are hot
<BigFish> yeah, but anyway I was talking to her and she said "I'm not some cheap whore", can't remember what I said to get that reaction :S
<BigFish> and I thought to myself "yeah, you're an expensive one"
<ruster> lol
<BigFish> turns out I was thinking aloud... O_x
#46666
< tittyfuckosaurus> I love kidneys
< tittyfuckosaurus> not much else though, not liver or tripe or brains
< tittyfuckosaurus> or tongue
< tittyfuckosaurus> well, I like tongue, but only if it's applied to my penis
< bazzy> i'm the same with liver
#60376
<@timmo> "Adventurer" (in video games) is a euphemism for "Violent kleptomaniac"
#22040
<broken_la> Ah hell, I'll just run the 2.6 kernel.
<broken_la> Bleeding edge.
<daku> 2.5 you mean
<daku> there is no 2.6 out as far as i know
<broken_la> It's on the net.
<broken_la> I got it off of Kazaa
#3320
<spd-dmn> lee: hows the baybee
<Virtualee> spd-dmn She's great! Growing so fast!
<spd-dmn> aw
<spd-dmn> got any pics?
<spazzer> has she sprouted appendages yet?
<KK-> lol
<spazzer> don't babies grow like potatos?
<spd-dmn> ahaha
<spd-dmn> spazzer you're on crack, buddy
<spazzer> you mean they DON'T?
<spazzer> they come out with arms and legs?
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> i have a whole new respect for women
#14260
<GunnX> I was locked in my bathroom once getting ready for a date
<GunnX> :)
<GunnX> door knob fell off
<GunnX> those were the days
<polyglot> wtf were you doing to the doorknob?
#8153
<Naivete> hey joe, if you suck at UO pvp, SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
<Kiler> rofl
*** Joe_ is now known as Imkillingyou
*** Imkillingyou is now known as nexttimeiseeyou
#32044
<+DoomSooth> I went to Providence Middle School in Virginia.
<+DoomSooth> The cheerleaders had PMS in big letters on their uniforms.
#28807
<dirtYbird> I am looking for a ecommerce package or someone to make one up, mulitlingual etc. Found one in Jamaica but I find it hard to take anything from there too serious, I can picture them sitting back in front of their PC's with joints the size of rolled newspapers on the phone telling me "it'll be coool mon"
#1380
[josho] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[josho] i think my maid was fondeling me
[josho] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"
[josho] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[josho] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[josho] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs
#55997
<Porque> So, per usual, my town is filled with rednecks.
<Porque> Needless to say, this makes the day more interesting when there's a dead deer in the middle of the road.
<Porque> Since there's such little traffic going through here every day, a deer died in the middle of the road. The bus driver pulls over by it, and I'm sitting there going "wtf are you waiting for, move the damn carcass".
<Porque> So we end up waiting for about a minute. I'm still sitting there, stunned by the stupidity, when this redneck BLAZES down the street in his truck, stopping on a dime right by us. The guy hops out with a chainsaw, revs it. HE SAWS THE HORNS OFF OF THE DEER AND LEAVES THE BODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
<Porque> Turns out someone on the bus called the guy on a cellphone and let him know.
#25137
<Dawai> i feel like fucking my gf in the ass real hard
<Dawai> the only problem is she dumped me some time ago
#83178
Rs Conqueror: dude
Xenocidaltendncy: hey whatup
Rs Conqueror: "sum up your sex life using star wars quotes"
Xenocidaltendncy: ...
Rs Conqueror: "you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short"
Xenocidaltendncy: young fool... only now, at the end, do you understand
Rs Conqueror: "how're we doing kid?" "same as always.." "that bad huh?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "if money is all you want, then that's what you'll get"
Rs Conqueror: "Ten thousand?? We could buy our own ship for that!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "these aren't the droids you're looking for"
Rs Conqueror: "I don't care what you smell, just get in there you big lug!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "going in at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
Rs Conqueror: "No luke... I am your father"
Xenocidaltendncy: "and now, princess, we will discuss the location of your rebel base" *thwrum thwruuum thwruuuuum*
Rs Conqueror: "judge me by my size do you?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Yeah, but this time I've got the money"
Rs Conqueror: She may not look like much, but "she's got it where it counts, kid."
Rs Conqueror: "I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
Xenocidaltendncy: "I've got a feeling I'm never going to see her again"
Rs Conqueror: "and I thought these things smelled bad... on the outsde"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it"
Rs Conqueror: "You're not actually going INTO an asteroid field...!!!"
Rs Conqueror: "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"
#45533
<@D1-> so I got to walmart to get some fish oil supplements
<@D1-> and I see this dude who looks 10 times nerdier than me picking up a box of condoms right next to me
<@D1-> and man did that not feel right. ;[
Comment: #geekissues
#299398
<pheand_> talking to my mother is like getting a back rub from Edward Scissorhands