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#15565
pinkboy so, like, how the FUCK do you let your wife get to 1200lbs?
ScottM <pinkboy> so, like, how the FUCK do you fuck your 1200lb wife?
pinkboy I can't imagine that it would be too difficult, unless of course you're picky about finding the real vagina.
#14093
<Shandz> i just got an electric shock off the phone
<Quicksilver> static or live?
<Shandz> I dunno, think live
<Shandz> cos when i stuck my hand in again it shocked me again
*** Shandz is now known as Shandz|phone
#19059
<+f0dd|away> hrm, why did I choose a full format instead of a quickformat?
<+GoodScrat> This isn't the psychic network
#49051
<Shinohara> damned wireless connection
<Shinohara> fucking thing has more trouble staying up than Bob Dole
<Shinohara> I need wi-fiagra or something....
#10489
<deimos> what are you installing?
<hep> your mom
<hep> YourMom v.2.4.5
<deimos> wow
<deimos> yourmom kept panicing on me
<hep> she does that deimos
#44930
<beavis-> i can get an ascii character in windows by doing alt-some numbers
<beavis-> is there an osx equivalent?
<Sam-I-Am> dunno
<beavis-> you're a shitty computer geek, you know that?
#295561
(SatanicSniper): I'm home alone till about 4 tomorrow, so, my mates coming over with some chicks
(SatanicSniper): We're gunna have sex
(SatanicSniper): And the girls are gunna watch TV
(SatanicSniper): I mean... Nevermind
#6864
* araignee doesn't care for DiCaprio. He's not to her taste.
Rapunzel452: He used to be able to act. Then he decided he didn't need to anymore. I have little respect for an actor who lets himself get upstaged by a ship.
hetros: I believe his enormous head, while an religious object in New Guinea, scares some folk.
#27828
[5:36] :: truder- [test@intrud3rz.users.undernet.org] signed off.. [Quit: A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.]
#54228
<Mizerock> lucas, judging by your IP...you live in new zealand?
<nforbes> ...
<nforbes> The Netherlands
<nforbes> .nz is New Zealand
<lucas> Mizerock, judging by your latest statement, you live in the USA?
Comment: irc.vaccus.org #main
#9304
<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder. An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great". Is it anthrax?
<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE
#16657
<@drew> saceist is a kind of person who always has that dumb look on his face.
<@saceist> huh?
#12292
Daeg says, "We are watching the dead deer show."
Una says, "A whole show about dead deers?"
Daeg says, "It seems to be."
Una says, "This isn't that Canadian soft porn channel again, is it? :)"
#101646
<@Foxhill> Skittles_Goddess - for something that is basically just an overly complex life support system for a vagina i haven't entered yet, you're pretty damn sexy
#28965
<[Piratez]> lol i had ice in ma glass, i left it for a while, i just took a look at the glass and i was thinking, 'who the fuck stole ma ice'...
<[Piratez]> go figures where it went :)
#14389
<PrincessLeia2> caffine is much less deadly tho'
<MykBev> not if you smoke it!
#139874
<Stueh> So you know how I started working at an all girls school?
<Stueh> Well
<Stueh> I had to see the school nurse for a checkup, as they's due at the start of term
<Stueh> She started asking me all these questions and putting it down on this form
<Stueh> and she goes "How tall are you?" and I reply "Limp or erect?"
<Stueh> She just grinned and said "limp please" so I said 178cm, then she raised an eyebrow and gigled, then asked "erect?" and I said "About 1 foot taller"
<Stueh> Then this horrified look just comes across her face, and I'm wondering, well, why is she so horrified if she edged me on?
<Stueh> Then I realised she's looking behind me... I turn around, and there's this group of year 11 students
<Stueh> I'm like "I'm talking about my height" and this one, with a big grin, goes "You grow a foot when you get a boner?"
<Stueh> "Yes I do and no you can't."
<Stueh> The nurse looked like she was going to fucking kill me XD
#4629
<eldee> jedi kite.. that'd be a bad ass game
<friedegg> yeah
<boozie> HAHA
<eldee> fly kites in a park with other jedi.. try to light saber the other guys string
<boozie> oh.. i thought i was gonna be about jedi jews
<boozie> stealing nickels and shit
<eldee> that'd be jedi kike you idjit
<boozie> ah.. thats right
<eldee> get your derrogatory slurs straight
<BombScare> man, every time i think someone in here cant get any dumber boozie steps up
#7125
<Dracleath> Dual wielding great swords with monkey grip
<Staberinde> I have a monkeygrip
<Staberinde> they won't let me use it in public though
#4360
<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?
#29019
<@michael> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed creamy treat opportunity
#47143
<hdx> There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
<hdx> When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
<hdx> He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Comment: #linuxgeneration
#37630
<CrazyWindmill> Is there another episode before the 15th?
<CrazyWindmill> Or just the one on the 15th <_<
<Quack-Wabbit> How would I know?
<CrazyWindmill> I have no clue
<CrazyWindmill> You are the oracle
<CrazyWindmill> We consult you for your unlimited wisdom
<CrazyWindmill> Too bad you apparently never know the answer
<CrazyWindmill> Waste of 20 bucks
<Quack-Wabbit> You can pay five coins for an oracle in Paper Mario.
<AquaDocto[r]Bob> Exchange rates are messed up these days
Comment: #megadoomer on irc.gamesurge.net
#3616
<azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my school ip
#14178
*** Emo has joined #GDProject
<Emo> hwat kind of emo do u like emo?
<Emo> oh shit
<Emo> thats me
<Emo> lol
<Emo> boy do i look like a dumbass
<Emo> forgot i switched comps