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#12869
<Red_Green> Dar wants me.
<Daroneasa> to die.
#295912
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired. One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines. Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it. Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone. Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games. There's something in there called "Purring Kitten". It makes the phone vibrate continuously. Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now...
#300501
<altoid> my cock is as big as snow leopard's :P
<altoid> (i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks now that i said that)
<Dave2> I bet you're the first ever person to say "i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks"
#61115
<^DX^> all day in class I thought I was sitting next to a gay asian kid
<^DX^> so I didn't want to look at him
<^DX^> then I finally looked and it was just a petite cute white girl
Comment: #SEO EFnet
#15184
(Pulse): did u know it was part of dayly life in egypt to wank
(cypheh): its part of my daily life too
(Pulse): aye
(senn): same
#52076
<@SenReading> omg
<@SenReading> customer just called me over
<@SenReading> shes trying to look at her bank statement
<@SenReading> and there pops up about 3 fucking windows of porn
<@SenReading> which means my net nanny is fucked up
<@SenReading> my god
<@SenReading> i hope she has a sense of humour
<@SenReading> or a lesbian fetish :S
Comment: #sonata_arctica Austnet
#41485
<@avida> who wants to cyber
<@avida> whoops
<@avida> wrong window
<+Jazzy> ummm.. you're only in one channel
<@avida> exactly
#309092
<+Dixie> i hate how minesweeper can get into indeterminable situations really late in a game
<%Vaccer> dixie get better at maths
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> vaccer it's not a case of maths. there are plenty of situations where it can end up impossible to know where the bomb is
<@Loskene> just like a real minefield
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> the only way to win is not to play
#3984
[11:29] *** kiwix is now known as kiwiGF
[11:34] *** kiwiGF is now known as kiwix
<mightyflo> that was quick.
#67514
< marnanel> getting an email from the people you wrote a database app for ten years ago to say that it's still working fine... is an awesome thing.
<@tberman> marnanel: did it have money in it?
< marnanel> the email? no.
< marnanel> nor, I'm pleased to report, did it say "Would you do some free consultancy for us?"
< marnanel> Ah, I remember that app so well. It was distributed onto laptops with synchronisation when they were docked. And it printed letters. And it had a built-in macro language based on Forth. And it was written in Visual Basic.
< marnanel> I was young and foolish.
Comment: #gnome-hackers
#215897
<kris> damn 1337, now everyone's numberplate is talking to me
#295537
+Cpt_Blinky: I'm so bleak
+Cpt_Blinky: cos I have all this shiny new anime
+Cpt_Blinky: but I have to wait three weeks to watch it!
+Cpt_Blinky: DOH!
@Crais: O.o
@Crais: why is that?
+Cpt_Blinky: My desktop is in the shop
+Cpt_Blinky: and my Laptop can't handle hi-def
+Cpt_Blinky: :(
@Crais: what happened to your desktop?
+Cpt_Blinky: I'm embarrassed to say...
+Cpt_Blinky: I will lose my street cred if the news gets around LOL
@Crais: Don't worry
@Crais: It won't
+Cpt_Blinky: ok you ready?
@Crais gives a sinister chuckle
+Cpt_Blinky: get this!
+Cpt_Blinky: I blew the motherboard...
@Crais: O.o
+Cpt_Blinky: putting laptop ram in it and switching it on!
+Cpt_Blinky hides in shame
@Crais: LMAO HAHAHAHAHA
+Cpt_Blinky: and I'm not even a hardware noob!
+Cpt_Blinky: LOL
@Crais: oh yes you are
@Crais: LOL
+Cpt_Blinky: you bastards I knew I shoulda kept mum
+Cpt_Blinky: ok I'm a hardware noob I admit it
@Crais will treasure this chatlog forevah.
+Cpt_Blinky: yes yes let's all have a good laugh at the muppet blinky
DeathRow: You should have made a video dude
+Cpt_Blinky: yeah of my face as I smelled that horrible smell of my melting preciousssssss
@Crais: ok one question
@Crais: how'd you manage to put laptop ram in your desktop MBO?
@Crais: it -doesn't even fit-
+Cpt_Blinky: omg now I'm really embarrassed
+Cpt_Blinky: ok check it out
+Cpt_Blinky: so it was called a RAM kit
+Cpt_Blinky: 2 sticks in one pack
+Cpt_Blinky: omg I can't believe I'm telling you this
+Cpt_Blinky: so I thought cool
+Cpt_Blinky: you put both sticks in one slot and the kit is 'assembled'!
@Crais: HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
+Cpt_Blinky is AFK killing himself
#8450
<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince
#45504
<X-PiZeR> thy want me to say how my com skills were improved by my work placement
<X-PiZeR> i really dont know how to start talking about comunication skills ... :(
<Darien> I hope you see the irony in that statement
#62195
paroute268: What is about:blank, can it hurt my PC? How do I get rid of it???
#3194
<dot> one sex
<dot> eek
<dot> sec
<dot> damn that typo
<Alexander> sure
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...
#44579
<Relocin> i like how it's so noisy at work so i can just fart whenever
#660
<DigDug> <hypr> dof i think hj00 lsefz haw
<DigDug> wtf did that say?
<hypr> i dunno
<hypr> what i said
#20355
<mailfraud> did i tell u i wore out the motor on my vibrator?
#10724
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m
#56360
<segin> what is conky?
<tsunam> conky = a nice little display for various information about your computer
<segin> can i use it to watch pr0n?
<tsunam> it can tell you how much of your computer is being used for watching the pr0n
<segin> blah, i already know how much of my computer is being used to watch pr0n: not enough!
#48616
<doopidub> euh, now compiling kernel
<doopidub> how long does it take?
<Phlip> doopidub: usually no longer than it takes to make a cup of coffee
<doopidub> okay, brb making coffee
<Phlip> as long as you include the time it takes to grow, roast, etc the coffee beans
Comment: #blenderchat on freenode
#30453
<@JFeeple> I love this commercial.... KFC's "healthy" pitch
<@JFeeple> bad enough when Subway does it, but at least that one is more or less true if you get the right sandwich *and* if you put on the right condiments *and* if you don't wreck it by getting chips
<@Orca> And don't get a drink
<@Orca> (or get a diet drink)
<@Orca> a large softdrink is loaded with calories
<@JFeeple> unsweetened ice tea is fine
<@JFeeple> but fried chicken? yeah, sure, it's better than a whopper. There is a term for that.. it's "damning with faint praise"
<@Orca> "Fried chicken - it's better than getting run over by a truck!"
#114641
<AuntieEm> Bah, lots of men with ornamental balls :)
<^Da5id^> AuntieEm: yeah, they're called 'married'
#73141
jaymouse: friend's kid
jaymouse: little kid
jaymouse: he was scribbling on this paper, and I was just sitting there watching him
jaymouse: well I was bored so I join him, just scribbling random shit
jaymouse: he looks at me like I'M the idiot
jaymouse: I'm like wtf
jaymouse: ...he was writing in fucking arabic