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#38535
<mata> so my friend is telling me this story... hes going at it with this chick.. . her beds on the floor on top of a box spring.. but still on the floor.. so hes banging this chick.. and all of the sudden her dog comes over and LICKS HIS ANUS..full on anal lick. went straight for it.. not a cheeck not a leg.. but his ANUS... but like a trooper he kept pumping away and just tried to push the dog away with his other hand
#115317
<Zemyla> Did I tell you about what my friend Joe did in auto shop?
<Zemyla> He was working with an arc welder, and the welder tip got stuck to the metal.
<Zemyla> He knew this was a bad thing, so he grabs a hammer and hits the metal to get the tip off.
<Zemyla> Then when he pulls back, lightning arcs from the metal to the hammer.
<Zemyla> The teacher notices this, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
<Zemyla> And Joe bellows, "I AM THOR!", brandishes the hammer, and shocks the fuck out of the guy next to him.
Comment: #cmc on Nightstar
#48605
<Trinity_Quasar> Quick, give me your extended (a few sentences) views on teen pregnancy for my socio work it's due in tomorrow. :-/!
<LionsPhil> "I think teen pregancy is largely due to unpreparedness. Much like the kind of unpreparedness which sees one writing an essay the night before it is due and having to ask for help on the Internet."
#820
<TwiLyght> Toby on @#gayphonesex @#gaydads4sons @#gayteensex @#gayboysex @#gayteenboys
<TwiLyght> ack!
<TwiLyght> you dirtied my computer with /whois toby
#1208
<mike> how do you make a dead baby a submarine
<Ron> hmm i don't know mike
<Ron> how do you
<mike> you fill it with seamen
#156
<||CHAOS||> they just jumped into bed when i showed them how i added a speaker to my ti-83
#14355
<Shelstra> :((
<Shelstra> my poor fishie
<|KazzA|> :o what happened
<Shelstra> nothing but...
<Shelstra> one of his eyes is black
<Shelstra> i think he might be blind :(
<|KazzA|> aww
<Shelstra> we only just noticed it
<Mousey> like it cares anyway
<Mousey> theres not much to see
<staticx> every three seconds it will say 'holyfuck, i can only see out of one eye...'
#303089
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/
#70658
<caesar> ahhh... i downloaded this beautiful pr0n vid, masturbated while watching it and then had a wonderful orgasm :)
<rockdots> heh, caesar: you conquered, you saw, you came?
<caesar> roflmao
#3557
<mightyflo> and "what technologies do you like working with best?"
<mightyflo> that's an odd question
<redbatszu> dusteating nanobots?
<mightyflo> i should hook those up to the x10 remote
<mightyflo> i could clean the house from my chair
#310713
<Somasis> peter anvin has a pet python named perl
<tanderson> since it's a python, perl can C its tail, but because of the forked tongue it speaks with a lisp; his mother Julia always corrected him, but unfortunately was bash'ed in the head by an accidentally dropped cup of java.
<Somasis> oh my god
<tanderson> Thank you, I'll be here all week
<Somasis> that was just criminal
<tanderson> He was sed for a time, but decided to go forth and ultimately met Ada, gave her a ruby ring, and lived happily ever after.
<Somasis> STOP
#2132
<DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
<Thom> Ach. Dang.
<DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
<puchiko> It is.
<DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.
#17255
<MatthewH12> i heard StrokIt lets u use mouse 'gestures' to tell your computer what to do
<isajeep> takes mouse inputs creates shortcuts
<NickBlasta> ok so if you move your mouse up and down really fast will it go to a porn site?
<isajeep> you can do that nick
<NickBlasta> sweet
#60376
<@timmo> "Adventurer" (in video games) is a euphemism for "Violent kleptomaniac"
#27860
seph429: i need to write me some hacks for the game of life, i appear to suck at it
#16277
<elinsox> dude my boss rules
<mrwhite> with an iron fist
<legacy> and a big black strapon
#60531
<froglars> How do you fellows organise your game collections?
<@Terror> alphabetically
<&Joomla> well
<&Joomla> i have categories
<&Joomla> one is 'games i am currently playing'
<&Joomla> those are located inside their respective game systems
<&Joomla> the other category is 'all my other games'
<&Joomla> those are placed haphazardly in a big pile beside my tv
#23982
Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't exactly an easy task. :D
dhn> dentist?
Gud> yeah
*** dhn hands Gud a straw
Gud> dhn: straw?
dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;)
#51285
<Retro> THE MIRACLE OF CELL DIVISION
<Retro> o
<Retro> 0
<Retro> 8
<Retro> oo
#34140
<@FarkStatsBot> think you need to reboot
<star_angel> i did that already
<star_angel> so bot
<@FarkStatsBot> did you restart the computer?
<star_angel> yeah
<@FarkStatsBot> still didn't fix it?
<star_angel> and when i did then knux was lordcrank
<@FarkStatsBot> you might have a virus
<star_angel> no i have a school pc i cant get viruses... but thanks
#8149
<Vertinox> >< jesus you eleetists
<Vertinox> i curse joe and anarch to die of prostate cancer at the age of 64
<Vertinox> you just remember that
<Soulflame> hehe
<Soulflame> DIE
<Exile> why not make it next year? curse them to die at age 14
*** Exile was kicked by Joe_ (I'm 17, jAckass.)
#45172
<Phlip> I'm not insensitive! I'm political-correctness-deprived!
#39686
<bobsquared> i hate it when i accidentally refresh the page when im half way through reading random bash quotes in case there was a really great one i missed never to see again :(
<Jon> jesus, i'm never speaking to you again. ever.
<Jon> ...not because you're a total fucking nerd... it's because i've felt that too :(
#18236
<Sniperwolf> Im intending to whip you with meh cat5 if you dont shut up!
#38030
<@littlewolf> how come all babies in anime are fat and annoying?
<ReynardTodFox> because if they were thin and sexy it would be a problem?