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#41135
<Alman> we have this japanese foreign exchange student
<Alman> his name is kyo xavier sakagishi
<Alman> he's so cool
<Alman> he's beat every final fantsasy game ever
<Evil_Jesus> wow
<Evil_Jesus> that ranks right up there with getting laid i reckon
#6211
<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees
#19506
<jwz> I think the world is full of tattoo artists who did not learn the lesson that spiderman tried to teach us
<jwz> "with great power comes great responsibility"
#36217
<Bog> people should always look at what they fuck
<Bog> i mean type
<Bog> ..
Comment: #hothardware on irc.burghcom.com
#305766
Cycron | the first thing i thought of when i heard that Japan moved several feet: "their GPS is totally messed up now"
Comment: irc.ecnet.org
#32251
Doja: i wonder if he noticed that her pussy has been tampered w/
whack`wrkk: you didnt leave a rubber hangin out that hoe did you
whack`wrkk: queef out a balloon poodle
#7038
<casss> divX runs slightly jittery on comp
<casss> is that cause of vid card?
<JtHMx> it's cuz you're gy
<sirg> but how does the codec know that?
<JtHMx> it's magic
<sirg> very cool!
* sirg is way impressed
#6828
<tweet> does n e one else's gf ever told them they wanna fuck you with a strapon?
<Nekorin> Good news, Tweet, you have a girlfriend.
<Nekorin> Bad news, she's thinks you're gay.
#305935
< JustBurn> that was only fun if we were still in the DOS ear
< JustBurn> *era
< abadidea> DOS ear? is that what you get if you play games which only use the beeper for too long
< abadidea> sorry, i can't hear you over the ringing, i have a bad case of dos ear ;<
Comment: #nesdev
#7308
<DarkImportGrey> god there's nothing greater than using people to your advantage
<DarkImportGrey> well... bowel movements are quite rewarding...
<DarkImportGrey> but it's close
<DarkImportGrey> manipulation vs. dumping
<DarkImportGrey> i guess i'd have to do both at once to see which would win
#8057
<Esk> Quit XP bashing! It's a better OS than you'll ever make! :D
<evilbob> I doubt I could construct a gremlin, but I'm not about to start driving one.
#17359
«+kennyv» drakkhen: heh, a buddy of mine offered me a p3 800mhz for 80 bucks about a year ago
«+kennyv» but i was like "GRRR FUCK INTEL BITCH"
«+kennyv» then i carved an amd logo into my chest with an old isa sound card
#18202
<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge
#35127
<der-carsten`> tim? no school today?
<Alucard`> it's saturday...
<der-carsten`> no, it's thursday
* Alucard` is now known as Alucard`school
#68894
<sysv> omg i was so fucking stoned yesterday
<sysv> got off the wrong level on the lift at work today
<sysv> all the floors have the same layout, and the tech center is in the same place per each floor
<sysv> so i goes and gets off at some chinese engineering level in our building
<sysv> walk into the office, through the office, and sit down in my chair in the server room
<sysv> i'm like "My, this chair is so comfy!... When did we upgrade our servers to Quad Xeon's?"...
<sysv> and people are coming to me asking for help, so I'm helping and shit, doing my job...
<sysv> 4 hours into it, someone asks me if I'm Guy Yee's assistant... and I'm like "who the fuck is Guy Yee?"...
<sysv> things went downhill from there, once they realized (and i realized) I didn't work on that level
<sysv> but they were happy to pay me for my 4 hours of time, and send me on my way down the lift to my companies level... i was wonderin why everyone was so fucking nice to me
<sysv> -_-
#3855
<imsoemo> i should sell information on how to join irc on ebay
<imsoemo> FOR ONLY $3 I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO TALK TO MORE ARROGANT ASSHOLES THAN YOU EVER DREAMED
<CaliburX> Just make it sound complicated and expensive
<CaliburX> Have you ever wanted to talk with other sophisticated beings like yourself for free on your own personal computer? With this 42 step guide your dreams will become a reality and your life will be forever enjoyable.
<CaliburX> Only $99.99 plus shipping and handling
#2923
<michael-> shut up
<michael-> i sucked a lot of cock to get where i am today
<kisama> heh
<kisama> at least you got to suck cock and not be ass raped like the rest of us
#3165
<myst> so what about you? anything interesting?
<Joshua> i'm writting a book and i just left a naked lady in her bed seconds before her roommates came home.
<Joshua> it was like *pulls on pants* *roommates walk in*
<myst> what's your book about?
<Joshua> lol!
<Joshua> yup, you're a chick
<myst> lol
<myst> rofl
#301439
<hgl> !decide sims
<vurl> Yes
<hgl> ehehe
<Sebas> It's ironic that you get someone else to make the decision for you to play a game that mainly consists of you taking someone else's decisions.
#21345
<MoonKitty> I'm on the cock patch
<DS> you mean masturbation?
<MoonKitty> call it what you like
<lowerfrenum> lol
<DS> for that, i will fire up bash
#230963
<dalezy> the last time i saw [xxx] he seemed all shy and .. well, not into drugs at all! what made him turn that way? :D
<GargajCNS> drugs
#2464
<NetShadow> this is going to sound pitiful... but can you tell me how to use a washing machine?
#77966
<jsoftw> What is the function in php that fast forwards the time of day to 5pm so I can go home?
<ericz> mktime?
<jsoftw> I tried that but its still 2pm
<Anthony2> sleep()
<jsoftw> I tried that too but angry_boss() conflicts it
<Anthony2> die()
<jsoftw> No that means I dont get to do interesting things on the weekend
Comment: ##php on freenode
#8929
<Delver> also it has been shown that the more woman are exposed to sex the higher their antibody count against disease
<strung> so sex is good for fiting disease?
<strung> ill use that excuse next time
#1764
<Morris> what a dick
<iln> are you looking at gay porn again?