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#56663
<@cristipengraffe> Exchange we just had:
<@cristipengraffe> Cristi: "I am at the mercy of my cookie whims"
<@cristipengraffe> Jeph: "Well, I am at the mercy of my occasional booze whims"
<@cristipengraffe> Cristi: "Well, my whims do not effect my liver function"
<@cristipengraffe> Jeph: "Well, MY whims don't effect the size of my butt"
<@cristipengraffe> Cristi and Jeph: "Touche"
Comment: #qc
#61203
<Romykins> Well, grass is always greener on the other side etc etc
<Omi> That saying is so stupid
<Omi> Have you ever turned a bit of grass over? For a start, it's not green.
<Xa> A blade of grass or a field of grass?
<Omi> Field... cut a square of grass from a garden and turn it over. I'd love to meet the person who came up with that saying.
<Omi> I bet you the moron was colorblind.
#32395
<ducklord> getting interested is for losers
<ducklord> winners go "..."
#14249
<andjusticeforall> I've figured it out. If you ever get mugged by someone, just say, "Take it easy man, all I got is a $16 bill", then knee him in the nuts when he tries to figure out what the fuck you just said.
#61709
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Hmm.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Ok, question for the USians in the channel.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> First of all, the background - as a dual citizen, once I reach a certain point, I have to file US income tax returns even if I don't actually owe any taxes. And my dad has been giving me an overview of the US tax system.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> So, my question is this:
<ToxicFrog|AFK> What the hell?
<MyCatOwnz> Bwahahahahaha!
<@Tekkie007> Always happy to lend a hand to the CAians.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Is the IRS made up entirely of monstrosities from outside the walls of reality that are inimical to life as we know it?
<Geminii> Yes.
<pixel> Yep.
<Geminii> Next question?
<@Tekkie007> And you've caught on to our tax system amazingly fast.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Does your government hate students? Were the tax forms copied from the crawling, N-dimensional writings of madness itself on the walls of Rl'yeh, or are they the result of some even more malevolent process?
<Geminii> Yes, yes, and yes.
* ToxicFrog|AFK flails
Comment: #tsc on nightstar
#61663
<pm-> i am going into the bathroom now to count my money
<pm-> you guys ever do that?
<rigel> if by "count my money" you mean "masturbate" then yes
Comment: #philosophy
#86063
* custardpringle was talking about how she regularly sleeps in the art building thursday nights because she works late thursdays and has art hw due first thing fridays
<Eiko> what do you sleep on?
<custardpringle> there is a lounge. with couches.
<custardpringle> I try not to think too hard about them.
* Eiko spent a week of freshman year in college sleepingin the Physical Therapy lab after doing something horrible.
<Eiko> so I know that feeling
<Ellie> Uh oh?
<Eiko> well, my freshman roommate was, uh, very amorous...
<Eiko> ...and I stopped enjoying having to find somewhere else to sleep other than my own bed on weekends...
<Eiko> ...an I was staff on the campus radio station...
<Eiko> so yeah, to save my life I slept in the PT lab for a week until my roommate stopped wanting to kill me for broadcasting twenty minutes of fucking.
<Eiko> I note it was not a live broadcast.
<Eiko> I taped it and played it on the air.
#309205
< radiofree> around the time the UK was planning to introduce id cards, i was walking down the high street and some hippy handed me a flyer "NO2ID", a campaign group opposed to government id cards, stating things like privacy etc...
< radiofree> at the bottom it said "Join our facebook group"
#36731
<@spr|efnex> last day of highschool
<@spr|efnex> im going to take 2 or 3 viagra, go up to every girl that rejected me, point at my pants and say "LOOK WHAT YOU MISSED, BITCH"
#7606
<oof> so did you get together with your family for easter?
<_p> no, my family hates god.
#6354
<_Hawkeye_> I don't bareback
<_Hawkeye_> Fastest way to the grave
<Mthbeylt> I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this isn't about the relative merits of riding horses without a saddle.
#303121
<D--> Haiku OS is so fast, it makes me feel like I'm using a computer in 1990 instead of 2010.
<hcs> that's what you get when the developers have the discipline to write each subroutine in exactly 17 instructions
Comment: #zophar @ espernet
#38342
<n3ur0tich> he called me at 2 in the morning. i thought he was calling to see if i was okay. how strangly considerate, i thought. how nice.
<n3ur0tich> he called to ask if i stole his cheese. five pounds of cheese. yes, i sighed, i stole five pounds of cheese from your apartment. right. because i really needed five fucking pounds of cheese. oh, and i'm fine, thanks.
<n3ur0tich> he called again at 3.
<n3ur0tich> "are you sure you didn't take the cheese?"
#287935
< liat> OH MY GOD
< liat> IT'S GONE TOO FAR
< liat> I just got slipped a card at work when I wasn't looking.
< liat> It's one that you can self-record.
< liat> I didn't want to open it, I had this feeling.
< liat> I did against my will.
< liat> I got rickrolled, by a god damn CARD.
< liat> NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP..
#33363
< solerad> oh man
< solerad> my adopted brother
< solerad> had a wet dream that involved my mother :/
< solerad> i wouldn't have known except that
< Supacabra> yikes
< solerad> he told his ENTIRE SCHOOL
< Supacabra> double yikes
#295290
* Ahruman goes back to musing on the days when MSIE was the best Mac browser. Mozilla appeared to be dead. OmniWeb was falling behind. I can't remember what Opera was doing. And worst of all, we still thought the Internet was like a big truck back then.
#67390
<eieioh> i completely trashed my vocal cords this weekend while playing a few gigs with my band..i'm not supposed to talk
<eieioh> tonight i was at work and they put me on delivery instead of in the kitchen like i usually do
<eieioh> i made nine deliveries before 8, when we stop delivering..and all but two of the customers called to complain that i was rude and impolite because i didn't say anything
<eieioh> and my boss, whenever someone complains, wants the person who was complained about to apologize to the person complaining
<eieioh> but my boss wouldn't let me because of my voice. but finally i got tired of people calling..so i told him to let me take it
<eieioh> here's what i said to everyone.."sir/ma'am, i apologize for your dissatisfaction but i have esophagal cancer and this job is helping me pay my chemotherapy expenses."
<eieioh> my boss and i were laughing so hard, but it hurt so much to laugh i nearly puked.
<eieioh> one of them came in to give me a tip. :D
#303787
<femmefan1946> Those drivers have tight schedules to follow. You'd have a hard time flagging one down.
<femmefan1946> Unless you were wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> Heh. I'm male. Though this is Vancouver...it would probably be fairly easy to flag a driver down, if I was wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> It works for my uncle.
#310343
< yates> let me read and then perhaps ask more intelligent questions.
< o11c> pretty sure that's never happened in this channel before ^
Comment: freenode ##c++
#21208
<Bob> It was a nervous twitch
<Carbeh> uh
<Carbeh> a nervous twitch that involved you jumping up, punching him in the face, and then insulting him online
<Bob> yes
<Bob> it really gets in the way of my love life
#56987
Caffeinated Soap: haha we were at the mall of Georgia talking about how it was a magnet for pedophiles and how w/ like half the chicks there we could just say don't ask how old I am and I won't ask how old you are
Caffeinated Soap: and we were talking about this while waiting for an elevator
Caffeinated Soap: so we get in the elevator
Caffeinated Soap: and there are some maybe 14-16 yr old chicks behind us, and one starts to get on the elevator and one goes no, no we can't get on with them
#300814
<jenna>sometimes i seriously hate my name yknow?
<jenna>like other people are jen or jenny or jennifer, and i'm jenna. with an a. it sounds weird. i hate it i hate it i hate it
<pat>yeah, people pat me on hte head when they leave. and then walk of chucklling, "no pun intended".
<jenna>LOL...not as bad as mine though, i have to say "argh" at the end of my name. jenargh.
<pat>why did mum have to give us shitty names
<jenna>i know eh...
<pat>hm why are we talking over irc when we live in the same house?
<jenna>yeah all this computer shit is getting to our heads. we need some fresh air. what happened to max? who's turn issert for walking him?
<pat>dad's
<jenna>oh
<jenna>well i reckon we should get some fresh air, afk our comps and talk irl
<jenna>but its too much effort getting up and going downstairs and out, farkkkkkk.
<pat>llol im outside on the picnic table with the supposed fresh air, i dont have to go anywhere.
<jenna>fuck you.
#283998
work : I've been playing linegae2 for 5 years
3610 : I've been working for 5 years, I have a house and two cars
#10735
<@j0no> tigerbot_hesh: These are not the brains you are looking for. Move along.
<tigerbot_hesh> shouldnt that be droids?
<@j0no> You don't really need droids, do you?
#3402
<|sco|t> doesn anyone in here know a good amount of php
<Jumper> |sco|t, the #php guys do ;)
<JibberJim> |sco|t go to #php
<[ric]> and #women is full of women, go figure
<JibberJim> and #teens is full of 40 year old men.