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#30176
<sodae> vh1 illustrated = cheney + bush im convo = classic
<clay> you + keyboard = mistake
#6422
<sp00t> the only trouble with watching dune is every time I see that guy I expect him to pull out a palm pilot like thing saying "Ziggy says theres a 45.2 percent chance that you're here to save the whales"
#295400
<Dutch> I've a girl coming over tomorrow to have sex with in my room
<Dutch> what should i tell my mother
<Dutch> so she don't suspect us doing naughty thing?
<Emma> if she doesn't want you to shag in HER house, she's the one who needs to be respected
<Dutch> my plan is telling my mother she is interested in playing some new video games on my computer
<Dutch> would that work?
<Foxhill> what if your mum runs in with a copy of wii bowling and an extra controller and you're busy getting a groinal spitbath?
<Foxhill> it could happen..
#7547
[Izazael] when ryll dies, we should cremate him and put his ashes in a coffee filter
[Izazael] mmm nescafe goth blend
#14403
<PrincessLeia2> i woke up this morning all dressed, and in bed with my keyboard
#296772
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so i got a good story for all of you
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yesterday the supreme bitch brought in her home laptop because i needed to set it up for remote access
<Kayeffem|wrkin> while it was here she decided to bitch about how the screen isnt used up all the way and there are spaces on the sides
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now this is a 17" widescreen laptop
<Kayeffem|wrkin> and it's being used at the max widescreen resolution
<Kayeffem|wrkin> as i play around with it i notice that there's nothing wrong and the screen is just fine
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so she tells me to goto the internet and goto a webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> where i find out her real problem
<Kayeffem|wrkin> the websites that she likes to visit dont expand to fit multiple resolutions
<Kayeffem|wrkin> thus causing empty space to the left and right of the main webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now apparently this is a big enough problem for her that she's going to purchase a second laptop that's smaller
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so that the websites will take up the full screen with no gaps
<JackWat|Lap> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<JackWat|Lap> Kayeffem|wrkin: thats fuckin crazy
<Adam^2> crazy bitch is crazy
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yea, i almost asked her if she was fucking with me
#130
<DigDug> qu:230; <blazemore> cause i don't care about video games anymore <blazemore> video games are a waste of money
<reptile-> What the hell?
<reptile-> someone replaced our blazemore with some Christian bigot.
#40015
<mike[F]> Dad (drunk): I used to be a porn star in college to pay the bills, thats how I met your mom!
<mike[F]> Me: Are you shitting me?
<mike[F]> Dad: Nah, I'm just fuckin with ya. She was the porn star. I just stumbled into the wrong dorm room and got my cock sucked.
Comment: #i_r_teh_h4x on irc.gamesurge.net
#35080
<Lewko> Do you want to have lunch?
<BenK> Sure. What did you feel like eating?
<Lewko> Anything, as long as it used to frolic in a meadow!
<BenK> Hippies?
#15709
<PetrDoubt> Wow, that's elite. Customer's DSL is down, so he sends a partial
traceroute. The middle of the traceroute. Not the beginning. Not the part
where it stops. The middle.
<PetrDoubt> "My DSL is down. Here's some hops in alternet."
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, dude.
#33357
<pithon> i'm stripping on my cam soon . check my profile for the link
<mike> im going to kill you soon, look behind you to see more
Comment: on yahoo chat
#12254
<Art`> I don't want to work with people, I'm not a big people person
<Saccy> I thought you wanted to be a surgeon?
<Art`> Well they're under general anaesthetic, I don't have to talk to them.
#42253
<+turkey> all i do these days is stick my penis in my vcr, hoping that it'll give birth to a dvd player.
Comment: #maddox
#28302
<Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the feeling.
#58217
<Apollo> w00t, finally got my comp running again :D
<Trinexx> dude, you've been gone for two weeks, wtf happened?
<Apollo> my new processor finally arrived in the mail, so I ripped the old one out and smashed it with a hammer. It was when I put the new one in that I noticed it was missing about 6 pins >:/
<Apollo> I fucking hate computers
#300619
<sandm> if there are any tools to analyze memory leaks etc?
<_habnabit> valgrind.
<delimax> valgrind
<Chris> valgrind!!
<sandm> thanx all for answers....
<Chris> you're welcome, it helps to get different answers from different points of view.
#33330
<@oblique> fun fact: spanish barbarians used their own urine to clean their teeth
<cardcheat> fun fact: so does oblique
#32065
<Preznix> penis adapter for gameboy advanced sp
<splice> finally, a use for the power glove
#28935
<ikaro> asdasd
<held> bubu
<[Piratez]> mating calls?
#2339
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.
#21733
<CommanderStab> <Poppins> lets vote on whether it should be a democracy or not
<CommanderStab> You DID realise how stupid that was before you said it, right? ^_-
#59388
night: which i uh yeah just quit my job........
night: i started to work today
night: and i was just like fuck this
#56732
<Throgan> Oh, speaking of Monty Python, I think Terry Gilliam is doing some thing on PBS about the number 1.
<cookiemonster> Leave it to Monty Python to make an entire show about piss.
#50475
<Rohoho> dude
<Rohoho> your not gonna believe this
<Rohoho> some bastard is picking my mangos
<Ranju> go fuck him up
<Rohoho> brb...
<Ranju> kk
<Rohoho> WTF
<Rohoho> he fucken hit me!
<Rohoho> with my own mango
#52590
<mick> any idea of the performance difference between 10krpm and 15krpm?
<Plug> ~5krpm