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#17397
<SAMMY> i'm so fucking HAMMERINAEOAED
<SAMMY> i'm getting pototao ships
<SAMMY> chiptns
<SAMMY> fuck it
<LoRdZephyR> SHIPS
<LoRdZephyR> LOL
<LoRdZephyR> gonna go sailing?
<SAMMY> fucking chopked on a ship
<SAMMY> CHOCKING NO FUCKING SHIPS
#53023
[JRJohn] here's a bit of info about me: i went on steroids when I was in gradeschool so I wouldn't stop breathing and die, same time I grew a couple feet.
[WeirdAl] john: I've always had two feet
#34477
<umopepisdn> About a month ago one of my tires popped.
<umopepisdn> I ended up cutting about half of the tire off of the rim with a pair of scissors because I didn't know what to do.
<umopepisdn> Then I realized that the spare tire has got a rim on it.
Comment: Ah yes... nerds and cars =)
#24387
< Sortova> Heh - Singapore has at least 58 WiFi access points
< Sortova> http://www.wifinder.com
< jbroomeLUG> Sortova: $5 sucky, sucky *and* wireless! Score!
< Sortova> I did *not* just read that
#37400
<rpop> I hate @ sign before ops
<rpop> I usually take it off.. waste of space
<rpop> recently I had to put it back on though
<rpop> I kept insulting retards on efnet without realizing they had ops
#31917
<DrBacchus> fajita: RFC 2795
<fajita> DrBacchus: excuse me?
<DrBacchus> fajita: You're supposed to give me a link.
<fajita> DrBacchus: i'm not following you...
<DrBacchus> dumb bot
<fajita> Stupid human
#1890
<Defcon> Heh. I was getting a hair cut the other day with my usual barber, who's this 60 year old vietnam veteran type guy, really uptight and what not. Anyway, he had this TV with the news on, and suddenly they started talking about police who sodomized some hispanic guy with a broom stick. That caused a lot of tension in the barber shop.
<Defcon> "Yeah, so, how about that sodomy? Probably doesn't feel too good." "Nope. Can't imagine it does."
#16254
<Serevok> does your penis reach the city of Montreal?
<Cheezric> I'm talking 5, maybe ten minutes tops.
<Cheezric> Well, we jews are blessed.
<Serevok> with choping off your cocks at birth?
#300611
<Robohunk> A friend of mine took an exam in his French class while on acid once. When friends asked him about it later, he said, "I think I did pretty well. I wrote this great story about a thunderstorm."
<Robohunk>
<Robohunk> The professor called him into his office soon afterwards and showed him the test. It was a piece of paper covered with the words "Noir noir noir, noir BLANC!!! noir noir noir noir noir, noir noir noir BLANC!!!" over and over.
#36443
(Deranged): I was watching this thing on the discovery channel about the mating rituals of whales. Did you know that the male whale shoots out 400 gallons of sperm during an ejaculation? But only 250 gallons of that actually go inside the female. So that means, 150 gallons of sperm just float around in the ocean everytime a whale blows his load. Kinda makes you wonder if that's what makes the water so salty....
(Mayseth): I've drank sea water by mistake you know. I don't need to know this now!
(Deranged): HAHAHAHA
——> (Deranged) has quit IRC (Kill by Mayseth (I hate you.)).
#296679
<@impossible> my buds and i share dedicated server hosting
<@impossible> so we all paypal our one friend for the monthly payment
<@impossible> so for the last four months it's been paypal messages like, "less teeth, more attentino to the balls"
<@impossible> and he got an email today saying his account has been permanently closed for adult services, which is a violation of paypal usage
#30249
<redoz> it should be illegal to release games in the middle of midterms
#15422
<loud_as_it_getz> yea well
<@KittenAssassin> .........
<loud_as_it_getz> does n e 1 actually chat on mirc??
<@KittenAssassin> no
<Simwolf> nope
<@KittenAssassin> we chat on IRC
<Simwolf> no one at all
<@KittenAssassin> you must be in the wrong place
<Simwolf> absolutely not a FUCKING soul
<loud_as_it_getz> wich is?
<@KittenAssassin> just type /s IRC
<@KittenAssassin> and you will be re directed to IRC
*** Quits: loud_as_it_getz (mary@210.50.66.28738) (Need more parameters)
#50549
<Hrun> how would a core dump feel?
<rockot> pretty good especially after a big breakfast
Comment: #sdl on irc.freenode.net
#13734
<Sumez> Adam could just sacrifice another rib for another woman. :P
<Nobuyuki`> sumez: yeah, and two more ribs and he wouldn't need any more women
#61302
<@Delphy> heh, a man died of dehydration when he became stuck between two water tanks
#46267
<rjamorim> I don't think he was trying to troll.
<rjamorim> He was being genuinely ignorant and clueless.
#152868
< nitrogen> har! i broke 100 on facebook!
< nitrogen> i win!
< curgoth> here's what you win;
< curgoth> 49 ongoing scrabulous games
< curgoth> 20 of which will send you daily pokes for not playing fast enough
< curgoth> 73 daily funwall posts of forwarded videos and "pass this on or your dog will die" posts
< curgoth> 357 invites to apps that require you to invite everyone you know to find out who your secret crush is
< curgoth> (which then notifies everyone you invite that you have a secret crush on them)
< curgoth> and 25 people you knew and didn't like in high school who think you should be fast friends now
< curgoth> and get upset when you don't share thier politics
#158063
<Craiggers> DG was making me watch Chimp Eden tonight and the dude was trying to catch bushmeat traders.
<Craiggers> It was fucking pathetic, he was standing there, being as White as my fucking bare ass with a camera crew, asking his Black friend to ask the bushmeat trader if he had any chimpanzee.
<Craiggers> The dude behind the counter was like "Uhhh, we do not sell chimpanzee because that is illegal and...uhh...wrong."
<Craiggers> Hell, I mean, why don't I go to downtown Indy with a fucking camera crew and ask to buy some crack.
<DeaconVerter> lol
<snex_lptp> maybe they figure a dumb knee-grow doesnt know what a camera is
<Craiggers> "Excuse me, my brother, I believe that I am whack for crack, and am interested in transacting with one who may be able to accommodate my business need."
#5862
<SDHawk> I tried to go to dictionary.com, but I can't spell it right.
#306959
Mew: "what do you do with a dead chemist?" "BARIUM!"
Mew: k im done failing
bryan: lol thats a tin on my scale
Mew: I do not know how to react to this
#14572
<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow
#39992
[f] Jism [jism@roach.infested.w-wasteland.com] has joined #linux
[f] mode/#linux [+o Jism] by X2
(Ark): Jis! just in time to test my new perl bot
(@Jism): k
(Ark): say hello to NIGGABOT
(@Jism): err hello NiggaBOT
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: hello is SUP G'DAWG
(@Jism): dude wtf
(Ark): cool or what?
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: cool is MAN THIS SHIT IS TIGHT!
(@Jism): Ark, i am going to stab you if you don't shut this fucking thing off
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: stab is POP A CAP IN YO ASS
(@Jism): fuck this i'm outta here
(@Jism): bye
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: bye is CHECK YOU LATER HOMIE
#70670
<red_ryan> so... I played starcraft online against some koreans today
<red_ryan> i was doing good until about 15 minutes in, then a fucking TON zerglings came out of nowhere and pwned the fuck out of me
...
<red_ryan> btw, what does "kekekekekeke" mean?
#13935
<total> fucking fantastic phone
<total> phone = movie