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#11439
<adr> if kashmir gets nuked we won't have any soft wool sweaters any more
<TS> thats cashmere you tool
#17895
<Xetrov`> bbiab
<Xetrov`> gonna go swim with my sister
<[VeRT]> kinky
#311395
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#32597
<slinter^movie> do u have a good porn site?
<Deviant`> i just use a mirror
#5626
*** jonathans changes topic to 'PLZ FWD ALL PACKAGES MARKED "GAY" TO PROPER DEPARTMENTS (IN REAR)'
#1861
<synthmesc> is it narcassitic to jack off to a picture of yourself?
<Digested> synthmesc: it seems to fit the definition
<synthmesc> :/
<Digested> synthmesc: is it a picture of yourself fucking someone else?
<synthmesc> it's a picture of me jacking of to a picture of myself
<Digested> INFINITE LOOP
#6778
<Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well.. looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly
#224378
*** Joins: Skrail (~Pleinair@8B4C4265.CA199EBB.127733F1.IP)
<Skrail> Well, I obviously didn't think that one through
<Skrail> So, my USB stuff was acting silly, so I decided to reload the kernel usb drivers in an attempt to fix things.
<Skrail> So I happily type sudo rmmod usbhid into the terminal, tap enter on my keyboard, and then had an epiphany.
<Skrail> "Why," I thought to myself, "I'm using a USB keyboard and mouse!"
#23143
* cows has joined #kuro5hin
* ChanServ sets mode: +o cows
<drwiii> http://douglas.min.net/gowb.gif <-- cow
<COMPUTERA> drwiii, I'm guessing that you got it in your head at some point that if only you appended "<-- cow" to enough URLs, she'd sleep with you. Well, you might be correct. However, I bet you're starting to lose momentum, get discouraged. Wouldn't it be ironic if you gave up when only one more URL would've finally brought her around? With that in mind, I guess you'll never stop.
<Iman> ^^--- too long to topic :(
#16527
<CraNKGod> YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN
<Funk> Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for a sock on your erect penis?
<CraNKGod> BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
<Funk> Oh.
<Funk> Man, you need a better imagination.
#14308
* EndersShadow remembers erector sets, you had to buy several before you had enough parts to have a big erection
#27960
<Monkey> I once ate at an Irish restaurant in China Town, D.C.
* Monkey tries to be topical
* waider rubs monkey on his skin and breaks out in a rash.
<waider> you're not a very good topical.
<@kingmob> discontinue monkey if rash appears
#9262
Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't.
Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't!!!!
#29560
* @o_0 does some cool skateboard tricks
* +LobsterOctopus skates with jb
<+LobsterOctopus> im pooped, lets go get some fruity trix!
<@o_0> ok, theyre so delicious and theyre shaped like fruits, i cant resist.
<Trix Rabbit> bwahaha with this clever disguise, trix will be my prize!
*** Trix_Rabbit is now known as `Percyval
* `Percyval does some crazyyy zoom zoom skateboard stunts
<@o_0> damn percys tearing it up
* +LobsterOctopus calls percy out "yo, you got some hot moves brutha, want some trix?"
* `Percyval screams out "AT LAST THE COLOR FRUITY BREAKFAST OF TRIX IS MINE!!!"
* `Percyval crashes on skateboard
<@o_0> look!!! hes not teh percy!! hes teh silly rabbit!!!
<`Percyval> WGF!!!!! NO!!!!
*** `Percyval is now known as Trix_Rabbit
*** o_0 sets mode: +b *!*@social.rr.com
*** Trix_Rabbit was kicked by o_0 (silly rabbit, trix are for kids!)
#29400
<oreo> If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
#8806
<moira> MY TEETH AR NUMB I BET I COULD BITE THROUH A CAR
#54062
<frew> I hate it when people don't spell or adhere to proper rules of grammar on the Internet...
<frew> Why can't one take an extra two seconds to proofread?
<frew> It's not like your reading an essay...
*** frew has been kicked by fr_gment (Your = Possessive pronoun; You're = Contraction of "You Are.")
#33108
<Phaedrus> note to self, dont use the aliases page in mIRC as a note pad
#228
<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard
#36333
<Unrelated> Wheel of Fortune should be called Fat People Guessing
#52405
<elfodox> so the boggle solver works... I'm going to set some high scores on web-boggle :)
<elfodox> it takes a while to parse the 3.6mb dictionary file :(
<elfodox> if my dad gets a supercomputer for his company, I'll use it to solve boggle at never-before imagined speeds :P
<fr_gment> At mind boggling speeds, perhaps?
#38679
<FiYoG> what network contains intelligent English-speaking people?
<Telexen> uh
<Telexen> ...you know this is IRC ... right?
<FiYoG> point taken
* drucifer cums on Telexen
<FiYoG> point proved
#16195
<Dss-tester> nuke u have a real bad additude
<@NitroX> no way, not nuke
<*Nuke> Im a sweetheart you stupid fuck
#10953
<hoche> you know, qdb mostly reminds me that none of us are as witty as oscar wilde
#1352
<CyberThor> HIDE THE SHIT, SHARKEY'S HERE!
* Silkenray throws a blanket over Thor
* CyberThor is soothed by the calming, womb-like combination of warm and dark