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#438
<AlmtyBob> if you count her cunt as kissing then it's been about a year since I kissed a chick
#299847
<nathan> What's so offensive about meatspin
<tonyb> Its one of two things
<tonyb> Either the ugly font
<tonyb> Or the spinning penis
#28296
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall over from mine
#33217
<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"
<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.
<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
<ctone> ...
<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.
#144222
<tarepanda> My parents lived in a village called Scotland.
<tarepanda> So they named me... Scott.
<tarepanda> I endured so much teasing for so many years.
<tarepanda> Scott from Scotland went to Scotland Elementary... and our mascot was the Scotland Scottie.
<LightFang> did you let them get off...scot-free?
#295853
xexyz: Nothing makes a dump feel epic like when your ipod shuffles up the indiana jones theme as you sit down
#33289
<WorkDug> OMG
<WorkDug> mcdonald's is phasing out supersize phrise!!
<WorkDug> jesus .. did i really just type "phrise"?
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#2802
<[_pitch_]> florida is shaped like a big droopy dick for a reason...
#83969
<Karg> I had a buddy once who thought it'd be real cool to huff glue.
<Karg> He was standing like in the middle of our group and he's like "hey guys, check this shit!"
<Karg> So he gets this glue.
<Karg> On the first huff he squeezes the bottle and ends up gluing his nose shut.
<Karg> Funniest hospital visit ever.
#12292
Daeg says, "We are watching the dead deer show."
Una says, "A whole show about dead deers?"
Daeg says, "It seems to be."
Una says, "This isn't that Canadian soft porn channel again, is it? :)"
#1808
<JDigital> Dude, that's messed up, no way is Pikachu's dick that big
#56632
<@irokie> why with the weeping? are you a woman in the throes of birth?
< Plastic> ;_;
< Inky> Apparently so!
<@brazil> ;_;o <-- I can see th head
<@irokie> ...he's giving birth out his ear?
Comment: #netsoc
#74646
<@zeleftikam> man, i am so dumb. you know how sometimes food makes a popping sound in the microwave?
<@zeleftikam> well i was microwaving something
<@zeleftikam> and after a minute or so
<@zeleftikam> it made a pop
<@zeleftikam> and im like
<@zeleftikam> ah well
<@zeleftikam> food does that
<@zeleftikam> then it started going fucking crazy with pops
<@zeleftikam> like almost constantly
<@zeleftikam> and i got freaked out and ran over to the microwave
<@zeleftikam> then i remembered i put in popcorn.
Comment: #null
#61053
Kat: They should make a NetFlicks for books!
Cassandra: they do
Cassandra: its called the library
#5694
<Luke> spammers probably love receiving spam. "Grow your penis 150% overnight? Why didn't we think of that one!"
* delYsid has mortage, opportunity and penis in his score file.
<delYsid> thats pretty effective against spam
<Luke> aren't you worried about missing opportunities to mortgage your penis?
#35570
<tharaka> wow, this is a new one...
<tharaka> microsoft connected to its ONLINE troubleshooting centre
<tharaka> only to tell me, "You Do Not Currently Have A Connection To The Internet"
<ducklord> they're making fun of you
<tharaka> is coz i is bleck
<ducklord> probably
<ducklord> they're trying to get you to destroy your computer in a murderous black rage
<ducklord> and/or pawn it
#53570
reverend: so, I was fired..
reverend: A few weeks ago, I was on qdb and read about this guy getting "assless fursuits" on a Google search.
reverend: .. so I was curious..
reverend: And a week later, my supervisor came up and told me my computer was being monitored at the time, and had a screen capture of a big picture which showed my browser window - "Google Results for 'Assless Fursuits' "
reverend: seems they have standards about this kind of thing.
#54219
<sijmen> I've seriously got a serious problem, and you're the only ones who can help me out.
<sijmen> Tomorrow there's a presentation for school (somewhat important) and I don't have a suit!
<Kimani> Suit * newSuit = new Suit( SuitType.Black );
<sijmen> Kimani, that throws a MoneyShortageException..
Comment: #gamedev on Afternet
#304793
Phil: C++ is java's uncle that never comes to visit, and had half his face blown off when he stepped on a landmine, also he's a pedophile.
Phil: But he's the industry standard.
#308074
<Moon_Doggy> grrr network hiccup
<ENKI-][> you should hold your breath while drinking jolt and whistling the 2600Hz tone in order to get rid of network hiccups
#24380
<DocUK> whats a dropship
<supernorn2000> a ship that drops things, preferably passengers
<supernorn2000> But in Halo it drops vehicles
<Skumby> usually it drops them gently too
<Skumby> Otherwise it'll be called a bomber
#265
<hypr> i rember in kindergarden the teach took me upsidedown by my ankles and swung me around cause i wasent eating my pees..
<hypr> fucking bitch
#6649
(talking about a guy that worked at the world trade center)
<@PowrSlave> this poor fuck is getting divorced cuz of 9/11
<@PowrSlave> lol
<@PowrSlave> his wife filed
<@PowrSlave> he didnt go into work that morning and went to his mistresses' house instead
<@PowrSlave> had his phone off
<nonzeRo> haha
<nonzeRo> lucky guy
<@PowrSlave> he turned it on at around 11:00 and his wife was like "OMFG ARE YOU OKAY WHERE ARE YOUR?"
<@PowrSlave> hes like "im at the office honey. whats the matter?"
<@PowrSlave> lol
#270129
< Frowardd> this channel, collectively, is alikened to a bundle of burning cigarettes
< Frowardd> ie, full of nicotine and bad for me.
< Frowardd> goodnight
<@relsqui> that was the subtlest way to call us all fags ever
< Selig> relsqui: what was?
<@relsqui> exactly.
#38458
Ade: Yesterday
Ade: After I got off the computer
Ade: I had the weirdest experience.
Ade: I went out to take a walk with my lemonade.
Ade: And I didn't notice the sign next to my house
Ade: Which was that they were slurrying the street and it had to dry.
Ade: I went out bare-foot like I usually do.
Ade: And totally got stuck to the cement.
Ade: So I was out there
Ade: For like an hour
Ade: And some worker had to pull me out.
Hidatoshi: hahahaha
Ade: Totally sucked.
Hidatoshi: that's the greatest thing ive ever heard
Chexee: Me too.