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#38704
<redux> I went to walgreens recently, to buy condoms for the first time
<redux> on the line there were two cashiers who opened up and they yelled next customer almost at the same time
<redux> One was a pregnant woman, and the other was a guy whos name tag said "Mr. Hyman"
<redux> so you could see how easy my decision was :P
#30638
***EvilSpork declares you all to be extremely sophisticated Eliza programs
aykroyd: how does extremely sophisticated Eliza programs make you feel?
#244345
SeanieG123: so we have to make this cartoon thing for Oedipus in english right?
SeanieG123: i'm trying to decide if a "mommy and me" photo album would be crossing a line
#211206
<Hxdor> k so
<Hxdor> i go and wake up and decide to wack one off..
<Hxdor> so my dad comes RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
<Hxdor> "OMG SOMEONES HACKING MY EMAIL"
<Hxdor> and
<Hxdor> "ARE YOU DOING IT?!"
<Hxdor> im like ".......oh. fuck."
<Hxdor> and i said "... dad, could you please go upstairs and wait anohter 2 mins please?"
<Hxdor> "are you hacking my email"
<Hxdor> and finally I said
<Hxdor> "dad, I'm jerking off here. how do you fucking expect me to hack your email while I watch porno and have my dick in one hand"
<Hxdor> he leaves
#6246
* Cerebus laughs evilly under appropriately spooky lighting as lightning strikes and thunder explodes outside around the High Tower of jadecore on top of Elitist Bastard Mountain in the Kingdom of Fuck.
#297802
<John> i would really appreciate it if you would stop IMing my girlfriend.
<DevXen> i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
#28685
<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?
#29717
<AlmtyBob> I'm going to have the girl I made out with come to my office on her lunch break
<AlmtyBob> and have some "fun at work"
<AlmtyBob> *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
<IceWizard> ... you two are going to link up GBAs?
<IceWizard> and play Tetris?
<AlmtyBob> N0!
<AlmtyBob> ADVANCE WARS PLS
#24091
<Me655321Neither> party in my pants
<whitcomb> rsvp no
#32200
[ tw1tch ] god my gf has a nice ass
[ @ThUg_WiGGa ] pic plz
[ tw1tch ] screw you :P its for my ass only
[ @ThUg_WiGGa ] eyes*
[ tw1tch ] yeah
[ tw1tch ] see, I have a one track ass
[ tw1tch ] mind* damnit!
Comment: #d2jsp
#8379
<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????///////////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude
#11028
<evn|z> Anyone who feels like sending me GTA3?
<Zappha> no
<dkcp> You can download it from www.iamaretard.com/GTA3
<evn|z> Thx...
<evn|z> ...
<evn|z> asshole
#18447
<wishy> i saw gi jane and she was rockin the one armed push ups
<wishy> so i wanna do them
<Zimbu> "When I grow up, I want to be like GI Jane!"
#18503
<splat_v2> bob is in a pigfucker mood!
* HrdwrBoB goes off in search of a pig :)
<splat_v2> you wanna make it squeal!
<splat_v2> and its good cause they dont sweat!
* HrdwrBoB doesn't ask how you know that
#3130
<berly> *puh* You can call me anything you want!
<Joshua> aww... i'll try not to abuse that, sex-kitten
<Joshua> i like that sentence better without punctuation...
#31557
<CanOfSpam> I spent my lunchbreak at work stealing my neighbor's wife, kicking his ass, and getting her pregnant.
<CanOfSpam> The Sims is the way to be!
<CanOfSpam> Im gonna nap for 2 hours and think about whether to show up at work.
<CanOfSpam> bbl
<emil^> cos - have fun!
<Glock21> You'll be sitting at your computer after days of insomnia... you're work habits will go to hell, your personal relationships will suffer, you'll go broke... and as you're sitting there in the middle of the night with a full bladder you suddenly realize that your sim has with a great deal of your own personal effort...
<Glock21> ...has a great job, a great house full of great stuff, a great girlfriend, plenty of sleep, a better computer than you, and is happier, healthier, and made it to the bathroom just fine because you suffer for him.
Comment: EFNet #politics
#7153
<bumr> maybe he makes mad love to the penguin
<dys> Perhaps Cathy wears a Tux the Penguin suit for him.
<dys> And then he "debugs her code" all night long.
<bumr> cunnilinux
#204
(|Chris) i felt boobies tonight!
(McMoo) did they belong to a womang?
#39539
<Tenor> how do i make z00m join/part channels?
<DrunkDwarf> by winking at him twice, lick your lips once, then shake your hips three times, and he shall obey
<DrunkDwarf> seriously
* Tenor winks at z00m
* Tenor winks at z00m
* Tenor licks his lips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
<z00m> YEAH BABY
<z00m> IM YOURS
Comment: z00m is a bot
#4814
<ishmal> wandered into a lesbian bar once, was there about an hour before i noticed
<ishmal> lots of girls, no guys
<ishmal> thought i was just lucky
#30108
<@manero> this song sounds like a fucking fire alarm
<@manero> BEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<@manero> oh shit
<@manero> IT IS THE FIRE ALARM
<@manero> hahah fuck me bbrk
#45715
<Tigger> It is raining
* Tigger cups her hands together around her mouth
<Tigger> Hello! anyone home?
* Phoon finishes peeing off the balcony
#8092
<in|cheef> you know cd's that clean your cd player
<in|cheef> can you d/l one?
#310576
<@kitchen> I logged into yahoo account after probably 100 years of not. got email "unexpected login attempt" even yahoo wasn't expecting me to ever log in again
#17183
<_ENiGMA_> Fuckin telstra
<_ENiGMA_> They ring you up, and dont say who the fuck they are and expect you to know they are telstra
<_ENiGMA_> "Hi its sheryl here from the paramatta faults center, have you had any problems since the 26th?" ... "Umm well yeah, I've been constapated a few times and seem to wake up with erections... but aside from that Im fine"