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#308984
<tali> They call you TheWatcher? I can guess what you do :P
<TheWatcher> Yep, I listen.
#412
<mogo-> my middle school got a blue ribbon for acheivement...
<natural> my school got a rainbow ribbon for homosexuality
#52996
Zot: Fascinating shit.
Zot: Did you know that male spiders, instead of
copulating with females, will place their sperm on a
web, dip their jaw appendages into it, and then stick
their jaws into the female's vaginal opening?
Zot: I can't wait to use that as a pick-up line.
Zot: :)
Jillness: omg
Jillness: lol
Jillness: Im so gonna borrow that
Zot: It's not a facial; it's spidersex!
#4200
*** Quits: Disco[d2] (k-lined: u stole my girlfriend! (edison))
#19245
<kt> i got my tongue pierced
<Eamon_the_goth17> really
<Eamon_the_goth17> so whats it like have a rod and two balls in your mouth??
#8245
cabbagehead227: so I came out of the closet today
cabbagehead227: I was looking for my bowling ball, but all I found was a bunch of queers
#29839
<aykroyd> the worst "i feel old" moment is when you realize the playmate of the month was born in a year you clearly remember
#2517
<hye> sex caffeine and computing power
<tia> hehe
<hye> the trinity
#277257
<JSensebe> We've gone from Jesus to cockbacon in under half an hour. Good work, people.
#16712
<Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
<Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that people're
<Deke> coming over
<Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
<Deke> most people find coins
<Deke> we find disk drives
#1143
<MadHatter> I did a search for "madhatter efnet" on google and the first thing I see is:
<MadHatter> <MadHatter> I cut my tongue shaving
<MadHatter> that's great
#12066
<Toby> cheese whiz sucks.
<Toby> there's nothing but.. cheese. no peppers or anything to add flavor.
* bipolaroid sets mode: +b *!*@216.41.31.68
* bipolaroid has kicked Toby from #Animorphs (blaspheming bastard)
#296464
<Slith> Law: Gun control.
<Slith> Intended effect: No more shootings, lower murder rate.
<Slith> What's really happening: People are arguing on the Internet.
#297077
<Erik> First catch from a dating site stopped replying because I was being "too intellectual".
<Erik> Second one thought I was "too good for her".
<Erik> Third one rejected me because I mentioned I enjoyed Dragonlance novels.
<Erik> Oh well, can't stop now.
<dd7> erik's finally coming out of the basement
#55838
<altoid> so this ~20 year old walks up with his mom to the register
<altoid> and she's paying with a check
<altoid> so our cashier asks her for ID to verify
<altoid> and he says (jokingly): "why do you have to be such a bitch?"
<altoid> (to the cashier)
<altoid> and his mom turns to him, and says with a concerned tone:
<altoid> "you're gonna have a lot of success with the ladies"
<altoid> the guy: "..."
<altoid> the cashier couldn't even be mad at him for calling her a bitch
<altoid> i think if my mom told me that, i'd have to go kill myself within 5 mins
Comment: the Gap
#55159
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement
#1590
<Camo> wiz
<Camo> have you ever gotten something taken away from you by the principal in middle school?
<Wizkid`> yes, my virginity
#25655
<aphelion> dude this fuckin thing scared the shit out of me
<aphelion> flying around in my room
<aphelion> and then i was typing and i look down at the keyboard
<aphelion> and its crawling in front of me
<aphelion> fuckin had to lay the tai chi moves down on it
<aphelion> i hit it mid-air with a red herring magazine
<Flatline-> hahhhahah
<Flatline-> tai chi?
<Flatline-> you stretched at it?
<aphelion> ..
<Flatline-> my mom takes tai chi
<aphelion> im sure tai chi can be offensive too
<Flatline-> hahhahhahahha
<aphelion> :(
#980
<SYch0> ok
<SYch0> a word of warning:
<SYch0> never try to masturbate with a bandaid on
<SYch0> :(
<SYch0> cuz you might as well take a belt sander to your dick
<blazemore> what the fuck, sych0
<SYch0> :D
#311372
phobos: Windows gave a BSOD while installing the nvidia-drivers, so I blew it away and installed Linux.
Silver_Fox: Sure. I rebuild the house too when the fridge fails.
phobos: If the house were designed and built by Microsoft, you'd have to.
#5863
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#37276
<freedumb> He's the kind of person who will wind up paying for this first sexual-encounter at age 31, get frustrated in the middle, and kill himself
#11032
<jablowme> why do some people associate nerds with small cocks?
<Jonny-TD> so girls wont like nerds.....duh
<jablowme> those fucking fags.
#39062
<Plob> You were anti-social way before the computer.
<Plob> The computer just attracted you because it requires no social skills.
<semen> the computer just allowed to you communicate without moving.
<Plob> No no, I move.
<Plob> I have a chair with wheels, biatch.
#261519
<greenocide> Had to give report over censorship today.
<greenocide> So I put in a pr0n vid and they made me turn it off.