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#44858
<+UnityDivided> I say to my dad "So apparently Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader."
<+UnityDivided> my dad acts shocked and my mom says "Now why would you say something like that, didn't you just ruin the movie for him?"
<+UnityDivided> my dad and I burst out laughing
Comment: #wpi
#294356
Methofelis: Damn you, robin!
Methofelis: Damn yooooou!
ape: yes, fuck you, robin. I hope you rot, die, and you get kids that you survive as parents thrice over
ape: because your kids also rotted and died, but a lot sooner than you
robin: ape: Do they rot and die before I have to pay for college?
#19506
<jwz> I think the world is full of tattoo artists who did not learn the lesson that spiderman tried to teach us
<jwz> "with great power comes great responsibility"
#8455
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??
#176915
* scooter mails the fist of death to one of the sales guys
<~scooter> he calls up and asks "how is the project for $client going?"
<~scooter> uhh, i have no idea what you are talking about. in fact, i don't see that we ever got a request for $client to build anything. the status is that you never entered a request.
<~scooter> "*clickety* *clickety* you should have one now."
<~scooter> i look and see "build a project for $client per the phone conversation we're having now"
<~scooter> "what's the status on it?"
<~scooter> i bit the end of the phone and cracked it
Comment: #geeks
#6962
<SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or gif?
<felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant
#11693
<theastro> my exchange student has cool hair.
<Yogurt> Your exchange student?
<theastro> And he can spin his pen between his fingers with great skill.
<Yogurt> Is he indentured?
#15579
<enJoy> just the other day
<enJoy> I told Chris "So I hear your girl is pregnant"
<enJoy> he goes "Ya and when I find the dude I'm gonna strangle him"
<[zT]Lunchie> =-0
#310370
<khelp_work> hey folks
<kerin> yo
<khelp_work> hows it going?
<kerin> like it has fallen to me once again to make war against countless unmotivated shit-for-brains assholes who have dedicated every fiber of their mediocre existences to undermining everything i have striven to accomplish
<kerin> it is as though i stand alone in a howling gale of misery and uselessness
<khelp_work> so...mondays?
<kerin> yes
<kerin> you have summarized the situation nicely
#7030
<Adar> "If you handle an envelope and some white powder spills out, you should _____________?"
<Boog|Happy> "Sniff it?"
#3938
<sTek> "ONLY FRIENDS", i hate those two words
<sTek> even worse than "im pregnant"
#57705
<apeiron> Chewie[]: all four of my grandparents died because of cancer
<incarnadine> YOU HAD 4 GRANDPARENTS!??!
<incarnadine> er... wait
<incarnadine> nevermind
#33817
<Rebel> I found a new way to make cool photos without it being really dark
<DrMike> Adam, use a flash?
<Rebel> Yep
#4306
(^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class
(xyst) qurve is freezing his ass?
(bc) qurve is freaking in my ass
(nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS
(xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS
(seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS
(^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends.
#10236
<etch:#unix> i don't like unix or any of you either
#50221
<Aeli> ...
<Aeli> now you've gotta be kidding me
<Aeli> I'm never using the ef name generator again
<Aeli> thicwang?
#27912
<Vexer`> i'm arabic / muslim
<Traktopel> im more muslim than you
<Vexer`> you are?
<Vexer`> YOU TERRORIST!
#7198
<@Web> <Anastasia> fuck you
<@Web> russian men get upset easily
#13731
<Otto[half-a-always]> I made AI smarter than George W. Bush with 47 events
#56208
Teloch: i was helping my tech teacher out a few days in july or so
Teloch: and
Teloch: i got some calls
Teloch: from potential customers
Teloch: and one of them was this little boy who couldn't have been more than six or seven
Teloch: and he was almost in TEARS
Teloch: "everything i type is in caps what do i do my moms goinng to kill me"
#29376
[Cavalorn] ok
[Cavalorn] I must say this
[Cavalorn] in england, 'uncut' means 'not censored'
[Cavalorn] so, 'uncut porn' is 'porn with all the good bits left in'.
[CapnBee] ;llkfj
[CapnBee] ;lkjasdflkjasf,sdf
[Cavalorn] you're way ahead of me.
[Cavalorn] however, in the US, 'uncut' seems to mean 'uncircumcised'
[Cavalorn] so
[b0o] gagsagdsagasgsadsa
[Cavalorn] I am now deleting an awful lot of pictures of cocks from my hard drive
[b0o] hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha
#74537
(@STARSBarry) tbh i saw funniest thing ever
(@STARSBarry) there was a black dude as santa in fenicks
(@STARSBarry) and the kid was
(@STARSBarry) "your not the real santa your black"
(@Steepmas) poor Santa :(
(@STARSBarry) and he said "i am?"
(@STARSBarry) he said it was off the soot in the chimneys
Comment: Best Santa Excuse ever ! in Newcastle
#35292
<StormSeeker> Apparently I'm fun to stick things in :P
#299783
<ctburley> bacardi grand melon tastes like something
<ctburley> but watermelon it does not.
<ctburley> however
<ctburley> the burps taste like watermelon
#146901
<Hogie> I was locked out of our server rooms the other night
<Hogie> because my finger got cut
<Hogie> and I couldn't pass biometrics