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#8056
<evilbob> then you must not be gay!
<evilbob> because if you were, you'd be all over my ass like butter over hot rolls.
<McGrue> Is your ass *that* hot?
<evilbob> no, but it has its own atmosphere.
#309659
<mgodzilla> windows has given me a recedin' hairline...unix has helped me grow a beard.
#41250
(+BarnacleBob): the ipod isn't all that great... i should have looked around and got a cheeper one with same sized hd and a recording feature
(+BarnacleBob): i pods are by far the dominant portable music player in san francisco.... even over regular cd players
(@Zaphod): But on the other hand, gay sex is by far the preffered sexual persuasion in San Fransisco, but that doesn't mean its best for the rest of the planet :)
Comment: #ctrlaltdel on irc.afterx.net
#44435
* Neitokun wanders around looking for something to do * maybe i'll just go into the *gasp* real world... <<
<Neitokun> nevermind, theres a new story coming up on slashdot.
<Neitokun> ... >< did i seriously just say that?
<Doc_Shinryuu> Yes, you did. :D
<Neitokun> damnit.
#31800
<felix> what is asl?
<felix> asshole?
#14727
<DistORt> is anyone here actually an op
<DistORt> or are you all just clever lines of script
#30430
[PFY] One time at 5:50 I was sitting in my room with my girl and my comp goes "POP" and shuts off.
[risk] lol
[@beast] damn you remembered it to the minute
[PFY] I know the computer store near me closes at 6, so I just straight up and tell me girlfriend, we have to go
[@beast] haha
[risk] hahaha
[@robry] haha
[@robry] ownd
[risk] thats so quoted
#305330
<Hadley> PONY WANNA SEE MY DICK
<Pony> no, hadley. I am strictly in the vagina business
<Hadley> Pony: you should consider expanding your market! i have some brochures about the penis market, if you'd like
<Pony> why have more penis if you already have one yourself
<Pony> it's like buying a second iphone. it's pointless and not usefull
<Hadley> Pony: like the iphone, a penis lacks multitasking, which is where investing in multiples comes in handy
<Pony> then it's still overkill, hadley. the second one should be an ipad or ipod in that case
<Hadley> Pony: so... if i get the analogy correctly... you're only interested in a penis if it's twice as big as your current one?
<Pony> yes
<Hadley> THEN HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS FOR YOU
#63878
<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
<tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
<tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
<tydel> kind of a conversation ender
#693
n e r d b 5: what in the hell
n e r d b 5: im not a registered staples user
n e r d b 5: what do i do?
e l i t e m r p: register
#10994
<Hiryuu> When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
#303214
<highjack> does anyone have a time machine I can borrow?
<Zetta> highjack: yeah, but I need it back ten minutes ago
#19540
<nirv-> can you die from going to bed with wet hair?
<Steempy> If you sleep on live wires, sure
<arnoud> or if it is wet with gasoline, and take a smoke in bed?
<nirv-> heh
<nirv-> Who the hell would do that? ;p
<arnoud> no idea, but it is possible :-P
<Murrlin> nirv: I wouldnt put it past some americans :P
* NobleKale notes that if you wrote it on a warning label, someone would do it
<Murrlin> of course!
<Murrlin> warning labels - 'lets try it anyway!', nowadays :(
#307843
<Grauwolf> The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them or not
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#66499
jade: I was too lazy to get up and turn off the light, and there was an umbrella sitting beside me, so I put up the umbrella instead of turning out the light
#3526
<Korben> tits
<darkraZor> yes, tits
<Soopa> i agree
<darkraZor> ...indeed
#3100
<Ecntrcjrk> Eating babies is like eating Veal.
<Ecntrcjrk> Only..... babies.
#1787
<kisama> only amanda would place her faith in something written in object pascal.
#7263
<|nqbuss> i have no problem deciding what to do. if i'm hungry, i eat. if i'm tired, i sleep, if i need to user the bathroom, i use the bathroom, if none of the above, i sit in front of the computer
#10015
<RageATM> im allergic to porn it makes my dick swell
#8101
<Paeyl> why did i just have a sudden image of a penis with tentacles at the tip
<alayna> cthulhuitis
<Paeyl> is there an antibiotic for that?
<Paeyl> "doc, i have a problem." "what?" "it's my.. penis.. it .. " "yes?" "it can.. write its own name."
<geo> That's not a problem, son...that's a potential career.
#14190
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#1838
<Amanda`> I'm not taking a shower today.
<Amanda`> bastards in class won't know what hit them.
<Guilty> At least take a dip in the swimmin' hole
#8455
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??