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#17301
<Claus> I sell children to old women
<Claus> and they stuff them up their uterus
<Isajeep> oh my god
#38690
<Cynic> wtf...
<Cynic> My mouse just turned off
<Cynic> WHAT THE HELL
<Cynic> HAHAHA
<Cynic> Tooltip: One of the USB devices connected to your system has malfunctioned. CLICK THIS DIALOG BOX for information on how to solve this problem.
<Cynic> <3 Windows XP
#3221
<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi "carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore: oh.. I forgot to add airline
#31547
<DimaV> WHO KICKED?
<SteveB> me :)
<DimaV> dude
<DimaV> my parents were in the room
<SteveB> so what?
<DimaV> and i had bukkake pics behind this window
<DimaV> when u kicked, this window closed for 5 sec and bukkake pics were out for everyone in the room to see.
#306165
<rush> where I come from we measure the hotness of a chick by using a scale which is determined by the number of days she could go without a shower and you'd still stick your tongue in her ass, and she's an 8
#28942
<@rzr_grl> wow.
<@rzr_grl> $1500 into the bank
<@rzr_grl> $1449.98 out of the bank
<@rzr_grl> in under 30 min
* rzr_grl sobs
<@jwz> hey, that's profit!
<@jwz> now you let the compound interest do its thing
#60419
FJguy2001: have you started writing yet?
ctrL aLt deL 190: no im doing my senior photo
FJguy2001: ??
ctrL aLt deL 190: had to remove the "unlawful to copy" with photoshop
FJguy2001: ahhhhhahahahhahahahahahhaha
#2952
<nstylz> i want to make a site that the people run it and then just forget about it and watch the $ go in
<Deadbolt> sorry, we already have a slashdot
#297486
[~Knoeki] a guy comes with a piece of paper with tubgirl printed on it.
[~Knoeki] showing it to me to shock me or something
[~Knoeki] so I looked at him asking why he'd show me
[~Knoeki] and he was like "wtf?!" because I diddn't seem disgusted at all ;_)
[KillerGeek] Did you show him goatse to try to shock him back?
[~Knoeki] nah, I just told him to find me something more recent to jack off to.
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
#30521
<EvilerMonkey> what time zone u in
<Johntuan> canada
#331
<Dipstick> I saw my Univ. Physics prof. at anime club : |
<Dipstick> and he has a Card Captor Sakura wallscroll in his office (that's pretty damn fruity)
<guDgiD> Dipstick: BLACKMAIL
<Dipstick> NO!
<Dipstick> actually, there's a no hentai policy there :
#11211
<Kitsa> dammit I hate my hotmail account
<Kitsa> I HAD 413 SPAM E-MAILS
<Kitsa> since 2:00 this morning
<Kitsa> according to them, I can make money sitting on my ass
<Kitsa> while fucking Britney Spears and taking human growth hormone
#301609
<redcurl> i have successfully creeped myself out to the point i can't sleep
<redcurl> i was reading an article about stange things, like the bermuda triangle and they mentioned shadow people
<redcurl> you ever see something out of the corner of your eye? like a person or something but it's not there when you turn to look? or it walks through a wall or something?
<TMH> only when i'm baked as hell
<redcurl> we used to have that really bad at my old house- there was a long hallway all the rooms were off and if you were at the kitchen table you'd see someone walk from room to room without anyone else there.
<redcurl> i hadn't thought about it in years.
<redcurl> so now i'm all creeped out
<TMH> shadow people coming to get youuuuuuu
<redcurl> SHUT UP
<TMH> actually no really have you thought about them
<TMH> if they hide a lot maybe they just want to be left alone
<TMH> and if they can walk through physical objects then surely they can't actually touch physical objects
<TMH> how do they live? how do they eat? do they reproduce?
<redcurl> shush
<TMH> MAYBE THEY REPRODUCE BY SLEEPING WITH US
<redcurl> i don't want to think about it. i'll get more creeped out.
<TMH> oh god oh god oh god
<TMH> ever had a really good sex dream?
<TMH> SHADOW PEOPLE
<redcurl> STEVE WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN
<redcurl> WAAAAAH
#13481
<Floidy6k> everybody in america has an anal probe up the ass
<Mack_Salmon> not true!
<Mack_Salmon> I had mine removed!
#37255
<gullberg> derb^ircdruk? drunk? :D
<derb^ircdruk> indeed :D
<gullberg> nice :D
<derb^ircdruk> have to drive in about 3½ hours
<derb^ircdruk> you know, car and shit
<derb^ircdruk> I'm going to crash so much
<gullberg> Then dont drive ;)
<gullberg> sleep instead :D
<derb^ircdruk> no
<gullberg> why not?
<derb^ircdruk> need my driver's license
#445
<ck2k> i tap her car's bumper
<ck2k> and she has this estimate
<ck2k> 200 bucks
<ck2k> fuck you
<ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your bitch ass
#309978
<haq> i had this dream last night that i was laying in bed and i could hear someone saying "hey. hey dude. hey." from under the bed
<haq> so i whipped around and looked
<haq> and it was a crocodile wearing raybans and smoking a cigarette
<haq> so i tell this crocodile "bro you need to either put that out or go outside with it, there's no cigarettes allowed in the house"
<haq> dude's response is "chill out. crocodiles can't even smoke cigarettes."
<haq> then he takes a puff, blows the smoke in my face, and says "think about it."
<haq> so i wake up, laugh about it, and go about my day
<haq> well, in traffic on the way home this morning, i finally realize
<haq> crocodiles can't smoke cigarettes. they don't have lips, so they can't get any suction
#3944
(seiki) &google inflatable+goat
(fnet) Google (inflatable+goat): http://www.vacationbibleschool.com/v_newfeatures.html
#87102
<pallet> oh my god
<pallet> my daughter has been missing for a whole week now
<pallet> i'm so scared, i don't know what to do
<zene> my daughter isn't missing
<zene> that makes me a better parent right?
<zealo> i'm pretty sure it does
#297796
<Xerol|Work> customer wants to buy an "external processor"
<Xerol|Work> i want to buy a "gun"
<Xerol|Work> and "shoot myself"
<Warchamp7> You don't carry external processors?
<Xerol|Work> not ones that go in the "USA Port"
#18237
<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me. I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please!
#43804
<psych> Worrying sucks.
<psych> Let's start a crusade against worrying!
<smm> I agree
<psych> But what would we do if it all went horribly wrong?
<psych> ...ah crap.
#20515
<keith_escalade> If you were a guy, I'd call you Richard Whiskey (Dick Liquor for short).
<Samantha> Shut the hell up
#57655
<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck
#23705
<elitotaco> why did i get kicked
<tarvuz> powertrips
* tarvuz was kicked by LordCrank (no powertrips.)