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#50857
<%robert> we should do a group suicide
<%robert> it could be fun
<%robert> and if not, well, we just won't do it again
Comment: #wpi
#180
<goh2> my parents are budgeting me
<goh2> 400$ a month for a computer
<goh2> for the next 3 months
<goh2> i spent 100$ on weed
#301792
<{KHI}DellGuy> ceil, did you check out google buzz?
<ceil> {KHI}DellGuy: Google Twitter?
<ceil> looks like an email version of google wave, but twitterized
<ceil> holy shit, too much web 2.0 in that line
* ceil washes hands
#144982
<dogan> yeah I saw a guy dressed as Cats at a costume party once
<dogan> didn't know what to say to him
<zuu> how about "it's you."
#3841
[17:23:28] [Synoptica] I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHIT NOW EVERYONE
[17:29:32] [Xta-C ] COOL!
[17:30:13] [Synoptica] jesus christ i dont remember eating chili
#309704
<ButchDeLoria> hey guess what I got
<advi> a boner
<ButchDeLoria> worse
<ButchDeLoria> It starts with an M and ends with an R
<advi> midget boner
#16866
<MartinBlank> I knew a guy who dressed up for Halloween as a giant penis with ferns growing around the base, and said he was dressed as a dickweed.
#26322
<Derek> i got gforce 2 ti 64 meg tv out :D
<Death_Mageorz> oooh
<Death_Mageorz> i want a tv out
<Death_Mageorz> so bad
<Death_Mageorz> so i can record shows
#14511
(@CitizenC): I'd pay $100 US to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher.
#310233
<Flashtek> I hate it when someone burns bread when I'm plugging in PC hardware for the first time
Comment: #gentoo
#310173
<ais523> then running repeatedly until you get the right sequence of random numbers
<ais523> and just completely ignoring the input
<cpressey> some people live their entire lives this way, i reckon
#52575
<boof> fucking fat fuck customers at mcdonalds
<boof> You know how bartenders can refuse to sell alcohol to someone if they are clearly intoxicated to the max?
<boof> Well, I'd like the same power, however in regards to obseity. Too fat? Have trouble walking? Sweating in the airconditioning? Short breath from walking from the door to the counter? No sale, unless you buy something from the Salads plus menu and a bottle of water.
<fury> lol
#33829
<FHCI_SS> I work as a tech support and someone called yesterday with the following conversation taking place
<FHCI_SS> Customer: "Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my laptop. It's under warranty."
<FHCI_SS> Me: "What seems to be the trouble with it?"
<FHCI_SS> Customer: "My wife got mad and threw it in the pool."
#68018
<Rod> i wonder if that little RC plane with the camera on it could fly into some open windows and then drive around on the floor looking up ladies skirts
<Chris> too noisy
<Rod> all you need is a deaf girl and an open window
<Rod> and a questionable set of moral principles
<Chris> that's how lots of Rod's stories start
<Rod> most of them come from "101 Things To Do With A Deaf Girl, An Open Window, And A Questionable Set Of Moral Principles" by Noam Chomsky
<John> One of his lesser-known works.
<Rod> i dont want to spoil the book, but 99 of the 101 things are "Rape her."
<Rod> 101 is the plane and video camera thing
<Rod> you dont want to know about 100. it makes 1-99 look like ballroom fucking dancing
#4226
<Hendrix> Romance is flowers, Perversion is sticking the flowers up her ass
#61916
<e|cel> who is ray charles ?
<e|cel> a musician i see
<TodesAngst> yeah, but he didn't
#305903
<bucketmouse> you heard about her birthday right
<stef> no
<bucketmouse> he didn't mention it at all so she asked a mutual friend of theirs
<bucketmouse> the dude tipped her of that he was talking about throwing her a portal themed birthday party
<bucketmouse> so she gets overly excited/hopeful thinking it's going to be romantic or something
<stef> portal isn't romantic though
<bucketmouse> so on the day of she wakes up, he's at work, she walks into the kitchen
<stef> this is going to be terrible isnt it
<bucketmouse> on the counter there's a cheap dollar-store helium balloon, a joint, and a box of debbie crocker cake mix
<bucketmouse> and a scrap of paper reading: 'u will be baked then there will be cake'
Comment: she dumped him over this
#52311
<TriviaBot> Trivia: In 1973 israel shoots down 13 __________ mig-21s?
<synth> american
<Mike> syrian
<TriviaBot> Made Man Mike was correct. Answer: syrian Time: 11.281 Earnings: 33750 Rank: 78th
<synth> syria has planes?
<Mike> it did
<Mike> israel shot em all down
Comment: irc.jaundies.org #trivia
#31547
<DimaV> WHO KICKED?
<SteveB> me :)
<DimaV> dude
<DimaV> my parents were in the room
<SteveB> so what?
<DimaV> and i had bukkake pics behind this window
<DimaV> when u kicked, this window closed for 5 sec and bukkake pics were out for everyone in the room to see.
#49617
<seano> when I was 17, 17 year old girls seemed like the best thing in the world
<Scola> and they don't now?
Comment: #uiuc
#779
<zaney> whats gaotse.cs url
<zaney> correct 1
#53184
<keith> 10 dollars on shipping and handling for a domain name
<keith> wtf
<keith> there is no shiping on a domain
<keith> fucking idiots
<keith> WHAT IDIOT PUTS SHIPING PRICES ON A DOMAIN OR WEBSITE
<keith> Shipping
<keith> to CAN
<keith> you cant ship a web address
<Renegade> they ship you a receipt
<Renegade> and a note
<Renegade> saying that you're a dumbass for paying shipping
<Renegade> on a domain name
#41135
<Alman> we have this japanese foreign exchange student
<Alman> his name is kyo xavier sakagishi
<Alman> he's so cool
<Alman> he's beat every final fantsasy game ever
<Evil_Jesus> wow
<Evil_Jesus> that ranks right up there with getting laid i reckon
#53079
<Mace> ROFL
<Mace> Best day EVER at work
<Mace> Because of the sheer amount of people that send stuff during the holidays (I work at a UPS Store)
<Mace> The owner of the store I work at set the answering machine to say that we were too busy to give out estimates, track packages, etc.
<Mace> And he said to call the UPS 1-800 number (1-800-742-5877)
<Mace> But he was tired, and said 1-800-4877
<Mace> Normally a wrong number isn't a problem, right? Just a different business
<Mace> Later in the afternoon we get a call from UPS
<Mace> Turns out, 1-800-742-4877 is a sex hot line
<Mace> Some people got more than they bargained for with holiday shipping...
#38812
<timmo> man i need a girlfriend or a fuck buddy
<timmo> because i need a back massage
<filth_> getting my back scratched is probably what i miss most about being single
<sxh> i don't give a shit
<sxh> turn my back to a woman
<sxh> probably get stabbed