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#16586
<shagman> and here I go rollerblading in black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt
<shagman> it must be 40 out
<SourKey> your nuts
<shagman> yeah, they're hot too
#29649
<km-work> none of my coworkers have done any work in four hours
<G3-Game> hahaha
<dmose> is that longer than it usually takes them to do nothing?
#309432
<Dacon_> you're messed up
<Huggles> how is this new information
<Dacon_> just feels like something you need to be reminded of
<Huggles> i feel through a floor and my car is full of bees
<Huggles> i dont need to be reminded
#309813
(Discussing random number systems)
<brousch> What if I'm using a headless system with no disk?!
<brousch> And no network
<mfarver> a headless system with no disk and no network is a brick. Typically those don't have much use for entropy
<mfarver> sufficient entropy is not a feature I look for in a device to support the short end of the couch.
#57297
<BigBuddha> alia: is there any command to see if there are any usb devices hooked up to your system?
<@alia> get off your lazy fucking ass and look at your usb ports?
Comment: #chules.net @ irc.shellsnet.org
#52036
<AlmtyBob> I'VE HIT BOTOTM
<AlmtyBob> I went to download a scat porn off newzbin, and was afraid I might already have it 8(
<AlmtyBob> fuck...I do have it
Comment: #ramen
#545
<smcn> the only thing we have to ph33r is peer itself
#4064
<FreshBrew> i dont know why i floss before i go to the dentist
<FreshBrew> i never ever do it
<FreshBrew> its like going to the doctor and pretending not to be sick so he doesnt yell at you
#5520
<Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists appointment :(
<automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?
#70466
<Pig[Trabajo]> I was visiting my friend's uni, right?
<Pig[Trabajo]> And they had this Thai kid show up
<Pig[Trabajo]> His full name was: Sataporn Pornpromlikit
<Pig[Trabajo]> Every single fraternity petitioned him to join them.
<Pig[Trabajo]> Everyone wanted Sataporn Pornpromlikit on their side.
<Pig[Trabajo]> The poor little guy was so confused.
#65051
<FireSlash> So, at my office they're deploying a bunch of new HP Color Laser printers. These things are hot. Double sided printing, fast, etc.
<FireSlash> Now, to set them up its pretty simple... Plug it in, call some guy and have him do all the internal setup via telnet, then pop the toner in and its ready to roll.
<FireSlash> So, aparrently the guy they tasked to do this is colorblind.
<FireSlash> I'm currently going around the office and it appears that he somehow managed to defeat odds and get EVERY TONER in the wrong order.
<FireSlash> But it gets better.
<FireSlash> They're keyed so you can't do this. He forced them into each slot so it takes two people and a lot of manhandling to get them out.
<FireSlash> Aparrently someone asked him about it and he was like "Yeah, those printers are stupid. Why do you need four grey toners?"
<FireSlash> >.<
#13148
[aphr0] do hospitals let you keep the umbilical cord?
[aphr0] I'ma have my kid's cord made into a die
[aphr0] tie
[aphr0] or freeze it and tan it and make it into a cane
[aphr0] give it to my kid when he learns to walk so he can walk around and pimp bitches with his umbilical cord
#310496
danlamanna: god
danlamanna: watching cspan online instead of on tv requires you to sign-in to your cable package
danlamanna: I can't even watch my own government fuck me for free
#10732
<Locke> Thats three nights in a row I've been awake and glanced at the clock and seen 3:14 and thought "Hahaha, it's Pi Time. Man Pi Time, how lame, I can't believe I thought that"
#19493
*** Joins: Gabe (Gabe@ZiRC-62019.net273.fl.sprint-hsd.net)
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Gabe
<@Gabe> WHAT, NO FANFARE?
* @Mr_X sticks a trumpet in his arse
* @Mr_X farts loudly
#37847
<@Brad> haha dude, this guy thinks i'm a fucking crossdresser and wants to hook up
<lat> lol
<@Brad> he wants my pic though :/ shit
*** dcm (dcm@rrba-172-174.telkomadsl.co.za) has joined #shell
<@Brad> lat, do you have any pics of transvestites?
<@Brad> or girls with big 12 inch floppy cocks hanging out of their dresses?
<@Brad 'cause i really need one
<dcm> what the FUCK?
*** dcm (dcm@rrba-172-174.telkomadsl.co.za) has left #shell
Comment: #shell on squirrelspit
#23609
<Iori> Caerbannog, You might be a RedNeck if, Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
<Khamul> Iori, you might be a Retard if, You have a really Retarded Script that has no idea about, punctuation and Capitalisation
#33174
<HongXianShi> Is it a boy skeleton or a girl skeleton? :)
<Antimatter> how the hell can you tell?
<HongXianShi> Subtle differences in skull shape
<HongXianShi> And pelvic bones
<Kurt> you aren't a doctor, so you have no clue
<expohirma> hong: you're relying on the fact that it is a human
<expohirma> or that all humanoids follow roughly human anatomical structure
<HongXianShi> Most do, hence being called humanoids ;)
<expohirma> not necessarily bone structure
<expohirma> just shape.
<Kurt> halflings have an exoskeleton
<Kurt> that looks like skin
<Kurt> and a caramel centre
#309691
(Earnestly) Arch is not the right distribution for you if you can't use Linux without a GUI environment.
(buhman) and what Earnestly said
(Earnestly) Not meaning to sound like an elitist-jerk
(buhman) by contrast, I do intend to sound like an elitist.
#31138
<MrSaturn> I think I'm gonna go to law school
<SantaZee> MrSaturn: HAHaHAHAHAHA
<MrSaturn> I wouldn't laugh, I'm incredibly intelligent and extremely good with people
<Catgirl[BTEG]> <SantaZee> MrSaturn: HAHaHAHAHAHA
<Catgirl[BTEG]> Just saving Zee time.
#11909
<verb`> baby blue pumas are guy shoes?
<Twilo`> yes
<molesto> i might not know how to dress, but i know how not to invite a serial assfucking by the entire crew of an aircraft carrier
<Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<molesto> <Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<verb`> any color preceded by baby is a girl color
<molesto> i'll pretend you didn't say that
<Twilo`> dude u serious?
<molesto> any colour preceded by baby gets you on the paedophile register
<Twilo`> u stuck in the 90's?
<molesto> no i'm stuck back in the days when people that wore shoes like that didn't have anuses like exit wounds
#14968
<Icereaver> how do i go afk?
#60533
<Zophory> dude, I just came up with the best idea for a Metal gear solid game!
<MrFizz> ....
<Zophory> it starts with Snake having to infiltrate a terroist meeting..
<MrFizz> I swear to God, if you say "Snake on a plane" at any point during this story, I'll cut you.
<Zophory> ..so, what's everyones plans for the weekend?
#49934
S*****Hitokiri: I need love
SmarterChild: Hey! I have to ask you one question before we continue. How old are you?
1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13
Comment: Ed. note: SmarterChild is a conversation bot on AIM
#3947
<Digital-^> i love brits , every time i hear someone mention a fag break all i can think of is someone knocking on my door , picking me up , and smoking me