Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#11343
<@FoX> for the record
<@FoX> she never cybered me
<@FoX> i cybered her
<@FoX> :D
<@FoX> oh yeh....did i forget to mention i kept gettign the message no such Nick/Channel
#8673
<X-man> i had a comp sci teacher that named her dog scsi
<X-man> i felt bad for it
#38316
Miyomei2: I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee.
Miyomei2: And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing.
Miyomei2: I've never felt more manly than in that moment.
#3610
<sAmEeLl> canada`s fbi is called RCMP
<sAmEeLl> sounds like a dos attack
#7842
<Sandman> You know something? Burning hair reeks.
<Zibblsnrt> I think that's nature's way of telling you, "Don't set your hair on fire, dipshit!"
#294955
<fleebailey33> lmao
<fleebailey33> i am repairing a computer
<fleebailey33> i open the dvd drive and i find mature moms volume 18
<fleebailey33> its not a burned copy either
#52088
<samuraisam> Whats worse than a cold toilet seat? A warm one. It makes you think "why is this toilet warm?". Then you understand that it is warm because..
#32531
<DimaV> http://bash.cx/?search=Gothic_CatGirl&order=quote_id&sort=asc&limit=25&approved=0
<Gothic_CatGirl> Holy crap
<Gothic_CatGirl> That's a lot
<DimaV> ur popular
<DimaV> ur like a porn star, only we get to talk to u
#76942
<Foxhill[away]> vista was released yesterday
<Foxhill[away]> 6 security updates released today
<Foxhill[away]> go go microsoft
<eranu> i thought its whole selling point was it was 'more secure' than xp
<Foxhill[away]> vista may be the most secure after Windows ME
<Foxhill[away]> cus no-one used that either
<Foxhill[away]> ME didn't actually spend enough time between crashes for a virus infection to kick in
#18144
<TK-42-1> what the hell is philatio?
#35545
<flouch> i spilled mt.dew on my crotch
<flouch> now it looks as if i wet myself
<XX01XX> Interesting... because I piss on myself and then tell people I just spilled Mt Dew
<SiFL> which is also interesting because i piss in mt. dew containers and tell peoples its soda
#47266
<Meflin> hmm someone is selling a 475 KW natural gas generator on ebay for $105,000 ... sold "as is" with all faults ... no warranty expressed or implied
<Continuity> kaboom
<Meflin> but they take pay pal .....
<Danamania> 475KW. wonder if that's enough for the webserver.
<Meflin> who in their right mind is going to eaby $100,000 as is :)
<Continuity> I think most people do the "no warranty" thing but I can't help thinking the buyer is going to recieve a moldy peanut with "lol" engraved on it
#70187
<Genocidal> belts are for losers
<Genocidal> :D
<Buck> and for kids who don't listen to their parents
#301256
<Sebas> So today's dinner is leftovers.
<Sebas> Problem is, being the greedy fucks we are, we ate all the food yesterday.
<Sebas> I'm not entirely sure how my mum plans to make dinner out of nothing.
#17323
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> oh geez, oh geez... my roomate was doing a mission in GTA3 (the one where you pick up the limo and all the mafia guys), well anyways, all the fish trucks are hitting him and blocking him in. finally he gets by but not before he catches fire and blows up.. he then punches his monitor, that's when i leave. i hear a keyboard getting slapped something hitting a wall and stuff falling off his desk.. all to the words of "FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, GOD DAMNIT! FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT!!!" oh jesus, he was sincere too.. it's like that vid where the guy threw his monitor down the stair well
#24572
<ShadowRage> I woke up this morning and thought I was a carrot :(
#306617
<@Malice> Did I tell you Velox is back home?
<+ark0n> no way sweet
<@Malice> After five years in the deserts of the Middle East, our mother thought he'd want to relax.
<@Malice> So she took him to the beach.
#22537
<percilicious> !8ball Am I sexier than Leonardo Dicaprio?
<ChanServ> percilicious: Yes.
<percilicious> !8ball You're just saying that to get in my
<ChanServ> percilicious: Yes.
<percilicious> !8ball Well given the fact that I would never sleep with an online bot, am I sexier than Leonardo Dicaprio?
<ChanServ> percilicious: No.
#232968
<Trinexx> I had a hard drive that was rattling like hell once. Me, being stupid with hardware at the time, unscrewed it and booted the computer
<Trinexx> the drive lept out of the drive bay and bounced around in the case.
<Trinexx> Needless to say, I ended up replacing more than just the hard drive -_-
#11003
<Journey> I get, from the reactions of the world to our policies, that it doesn't matter what the hell we do--we're always the bad guy. So fuck everybody else.
<RedFox> You've been a chanop before, haven't you?
#4062
<DigDug> <nowakow> does anyone want to teach a horny female to masturbate to orgasm?
<DigDug> Approve Kill Nothing
<josho> kill;
<jestuh> kill
<jestuh> if she's horny she knows what to do
#67551
Bulrog Cartman: Well, my sister got in an argument with her boyfriend in Monday, and when he walked out the door she punched the window in anger
LitlMsScareAll13: o_O
Bulrog Cartman: Lost some blood, got light-headed, I had to call 911
LitlMsScareAll13: Wonderful.
Bulrog Cartman: Her right hand is all bandaged up now, she won't be using it for 10 days
Bulrog Cartman: She gets to pay for the window too, although she can easily afford that
Bulrog Cartman: and she works with her mouth, so the hand won't be a huge problem
Bulrog Cartman: wait, that came out wrong
LitlMsScareAll13: ..........
Bulrog Cartman: She's a telemarketer
#4809
*** Now talking in #bible
<Synial> Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a realistic image of the full Jesus! Is he hung like his dad? FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!
#95753
<xkcd> honestly, I'm not entirely sure that I will ever get tired of amusing pictures of cats
<xkcd> FORTUNATELY, SOMEONE INVENTED THE INTERNET
#2062
<Arsentia> ARRRRRRRGH
<Arsentia> I just lost the fucking picture on my Chem lab!
<Merl> hehehehehe
<Merl> neeeener neeeener ;-)
[Time Passes]
<Merl> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
<Merl> I just lost my whole fucking ESSAY i wrote this weekend
<Merl> DAMN MS WORD SHIT
<Assasin> wait
<Assasin> Wait a second.
<Assasin> Was it you who was laughing at Arse?