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#10822
<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation, those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4 years...
#296679
<@impossible> my buds and i share dedicated server hosting
<@impossible> so we all paypal our one friend for the monthly payment
<@impossible> so for the last four months it's been paypal messages like, "less teeth, more attentino to the balls"
<@impossible> and he got an email today saying his account has been permanently closed for adult services, which is a violation of paypal usage
#36909
<Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a chick came up to me.. kissed me, squeezed my balls, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wtf?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I realized the bitch had stolen my cellphone =(
#31807
<[NCA]Spank> I was pretty dumb about computers.
<[NCA]Spank> Then I learned you could get porn on them.
<[NCA]Spank> 3 years later I'm a system administrator.
#38848
<remisser> Man... I really have to walk in to Condomworld and see what kind of people work there.
<comet_11> they're probably dicks
#3130
<berly> *puh* You can call me anything you want!
<Joshua> aww... i'll try not to abuse that, sex-kitten
<Joshua> i like that sentence better without punctuation...
#310136
<whelp> mom called me and said her series got deleted from torrents and asked me to fix it. i said dont vote putin next time
Comment: whelp is russian
#45596
<jessica> ok back
*geek throws the stick again
#5309
<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays
#3935
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable
#6578
<sE|PassePartouT`v> i can beat you like sgamer beats off
<sE|PassePartouT`v> and that's a lot
<sgamer> that is a lot, but i doubt you can
#8960
[KodiaK] my definition of back up is move all my porn to the E Drive
#71947
<Sceadwian> My ferrets are crunching on food behind my computer desk.
<Shadow_mil> ...
<Shadow_mil> Ummm ferrets
<Shadow_mil> my sister has one
<Sceadwian> At least I hope it's food. If it's a power cord I may suddenly disconnect and have a flameing ball of furr shooting across the room
* Sceadwian has quit (Connection timed out)
Comment: #freenode-social @irc.freenode.net
#304001
Liam: Are you familiar with Cleverbot?
Scaramouche: Yes.
Scaramouche: She's fun.
Liam: I have two instances of cleverbot talking to each other.
Liam: Although a lot of what they're saying is quite dadaistic
Liam: -Why are all your family and friends working?
-We are not.
-Yes you are.
-Why do you think so?
-Because your math skills are horrible. 198 minus 7 is 191.
-My marbles are right where I need them. Under the feet of my enemies...
Liam: -I have no marshmallows.
#373
<Flobbster> Haw, my computer doesn't like for ZipMagic to access a zip in a zip
in a zip on a parallel port Zip drive :D
<redslime> a zip in a zip in a zip on a zip?
#44701
<usu_> Well, for the past weeks, Bush's approval rating has consistently been well below 50%.
<usu_> And you all know what that means, right?
<usu_> To put it in perspective, it means that if he were a quote on QDB, his score would be below 0.
<usu_> Huzzah!
#306570
<dd7> i once had a virus that didn't do anything but move icons back to the spot i dragged them from
<dd7> it was terrible
<dd7> i think i'd much rather deal with a stolen credit card than not being able to organize my fucking desktop
#311366
* vens is now known as venz
<aciou> this is the internet equivalent of turning your cap backwards
#49491
<xkcd> Guy in line: English should be the national language, these immigrants should have to learn English when they come here.
<xkcd> Girl in line: Yeah
<xkcd> Guy: When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there. English is the language of the land.
<xkcd> Sarah Mac: (from behind in line) Excuse me, but -- osio sarah dawado.
<xkcd> Guy: What the hell was that?
<xkcd> Sarah: Cherokee.
#13018
<Effyis> oh crap...
<Effyis> i just dropped the dip on the floor
<gleep> Oh, well. Someone help KarbonCopy back up.
<KarbonCopy> me back up?
<KarbonCopy> what?
<KarbonCopy> HEY!
#14232
<sWampy> he should have had anikin walk in on jarjar doing portman, and that be the reason that anikin turned so dark, and jarjar being luke and leia's father would explain a lot about why they were so dippy to have such a strong father.
<clemmy> but why would darthvader tell luke he's his father then?
<sWampy> just to confuse him so he could cut off his hand, plus he's in denial that his wife would cheat on him with jarjar.
<clemmy> I guess luke would be more shocked to find out jarjar is his father
<Harekiet> darth vader still had some good in him so he didn't want luke to know
#83745
<InkyGhost> So, I work for a college, managing one of their labs. The college had problems with people abusing the printers, so they switched to a "pay-per-page" system.
<InkyGhost> Our printer, however, is free and unmetered, but for Computer Science stuff only.
<InkyGhost> We've turned a blind eye to people printing off reports and whatnot, but lately someone's been abusing it. So, we're locking down the printer a little more.
<InkyGhost> What broke the camels back was some student repeatedly printing out this 30 page excerpt called "The History of Judaism" 4-5 times a day for 2 days.
<Morigann> So, when the students complain, you'll just tell them to blame the jews?
<InkyGhost> If it would not get me so incredibly fired, that would be the notice on the printer.
#28965
<[Piratez]> lol i had ice in ma glass, i left it for a while, i just took a look at the glass and i was thinking, 'who the fuck stole ma ice'...
<[Piratez]> go figures where it went :)
#50455
<wrmachine> Your search - sluts! did not return any results.
<wrmachine> screw it, google video sucks.
#115962
<%Raven> and then the next was "write a reply coming from a WASP"
<%Raven> I had no idea what a WASP was so I basically had to gamble whether they were for or against indian mistreatment
<%Raven> I went against, which was wrong
<%Raven> but I covered myself by saying "in case above answer doesn't suffice, here's a reply from a different WASP"
<%Raven> I just drew a giant wasp (the bug) and added a textballoon with BZZZZZZZT
<%Raven> he might just give points for originality
Comment: #dyo on irc.dyo-ecksdee.com