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#31058
<-Porkroller-> hey, whatever produces the most result with the least labor
<-Porkroller-> is the way to god
<-Porkroller-> go
<-Porkroller-> lol
Comment: from a staunch atheist
#305552
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#57180
<taxman> Okay, I seriously don't know how this could happen.
<taxman> I woke up this morning and went into the bathroom to piss
<taxman> One of my nostrils is really itchy and so I grab a piece of toilet paper and blow my nose
<taxman> When I look at it, there's a fucking EARWIG amidst a sea of snot
<Rintin> rofl
<taxman> So I shout in surprise, "Holy fuck! How in the hell did that get up there?!"
<taxman> I drop it in the toilet, flush it and open the bathroom door, and my mom and wife are standing there, staring at me with their mouths half open.
<Rintin> holy shit lmao
<taxman> They haven't stopped making fun of me about it. So I'm here. :/
#24030
<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid
#28994
<Aokromes> what HOTTT
<Aokromes> 102 °F / 39 °C
<[Piratez]> no idea what temp it is outside here
<[Piratez]> but it aint hot
<[Piratez]> no chicks are out
#21595
<Crembo> in UT2k3, killing 6 people is "Monster kill".
<Crembo> in Quake3, it's "Excellent".
<Crembo> in CS, it's "Kicked by console".
#1343
(nexxai) Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv across the nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to party).
#9192
<les_savy_fav> all i know is mr.Ed was really a mr, because he went on to have a distinguished career as a porno actor in denmark
#282
<Hatter> I was over-circumsized
<Hatter> the law suit is still pending
#2652
<+Cypherus> what is a splash-screen?
<Nagaika> when your screen falls into the bathtub
#6200
<barkode:#916> playing tribes for last 5 hours
<Pesto:#916> wow, you're still at work?
<barkode:#916> yeah.
#29019
<@michael> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed creamy treat opportunity
#32536
<CFC|Laptop> Bash.cx keeps changing colour... i think it wants to be micheal jackson
#34053
<+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
<+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
<+ApEtc> Remove it
<+llamaInAbox> the eye?
<+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complaining
Comment: #distributed on Hashmark
#102983
<helf> lljhihkuggigfi
<helf> oh good
<helf> still connected
<helf> everything died for a second
<leavengood> I wonder what happened to helf
<leavengood> wasn't he here a while ago?
<helf> I'm HERE!
<DaaT> maybe he timed out?
<leavengood> too bad
* helf waves arms around
<leavengood> I was going to offer him money
<helf> can't you see me?!!?
<DaaT> better for the chan if he's gone anyway
<DaaT> imho
<leavengood> yeah
<helf> :(
#37639
<ASM57> wtf
<ASM57> I called a store and asked if they had CoolerMaster Aero 7 Lite
<ASM57> and the guy is like "thats a microphone right?"
<Bog> lol
<Bog> everyone knows it's a sound card
#306389
<@Furah> my ex sent a text that was meant to make me think of her, but instead I thought of alcohol
#37188
<Rjx> I think I'm going to print off a few pamphlets for people who are under 18 and have had a kid
<Rjx> entitled "so you've ruined your life"
<Rjx> "and your vagina"
Comment: #geekissues
#311357
<netham45> Bash.org is offline
<netham45> But it responds to SSH.
<netham45> I tried to log into their SSH as 'ERROR CRITICAL BASH.ORG IS DOWN' in hopes their log management system picks up on the keywords.
#6056
<Guyver3> koolaid time
<Guyver3> what today
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi lemonade
<Guyver3> mountain berry blast
<Guyver3> or blood of the preacher's daughter?
<kingmob> the blood one. definitely.
#7089
<Kash> Biee, my modem cost me 8 bucks
<Bieeardo> Holy shit. That's... oy.
<Kash> IT IS A CURCUIT BOARD AND A BELL
<Kash> circuit
<Kash> lol
<Bieeardo> Oh, so it's a hard-coded version of EQ?
#304473
< gordonjcp> oh deary me, someone has emailed me asking for advice on running a MUD under ax25d
< gordonjcp> yeah
< gordonjcp> 'cos individually, MUDs and packet radio aren't geeky enough by themselves
Comment: #scotlug
#39108
* Uziel calls in the goats to feed on their corpses. =D
arcane: mmmm goats
* Vukk shoots the goats and has a feast
Uziel: DAMN YOU GOAT SLAUGHTERING SON OF A BITCH.
Uziel: I will summon forth the corpses of your female ancestors and chain you to their bones.
Uziel: forcing you to drink goat blood by the gallon from their rotten not-really-existent cunts
Uziel: while I scatter the ashes of the goats you have killed
Uziel: over your naked, helpless body, as it's whipped, lashed, and beaten bloody
Uziel: sending the pain of those goats you have disgraced, down your spine.
* Orionis slaps Vukk around with Windows Me
* Orionis threatens Uziel with the Windows ME
* Uziel bows
Uziel: Hails to thee who makes the true definition of pain abundant in our knowledge. =X
arcane: hail!
#309830
< MadCamel> back in the day I used to go to sleep with bots running and get an SMS alarm on my phone when GMs would show up to talk to me. I could talk back via SMS too. That passed every botcheck because everything was screwed up back then and they were not allowed to use their judgment.. even though my clients were CLEARLY automated.
< MadCamel> That wouldn't fly now. That's a good thing. Heh.
< t3st3r> Hmm, reasonable :)
< V0id> MadCamel: because now you're too old to wake up within 2mins? :D
< MadCamel> V0id: that too! lol
#34376
<Prophet_Tenebrae> charles kennedy - is getting a lot of news coverage.
<Steveo> Richard, is he sober or something?
<Prophet_Tenebrae> apparently he doesn't have a drink problem.
<Prophet_Tenebrae> but quite frankly if you were leader of the lib dems, being wasted is about the only way you could carry on.