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#11437
<ccc> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine  this: You're a Siamese twin.  Your brother, attached at your shoulder is gay and you're not. But you only have one ass.

#16042
<abort416> wow i hope u all send the record companies money or something cuz its illegal to pirate music and movies and tv shows and such

#29046
<MightyBlueJustice> If Jesus would've been shot to death instead of crucified would christians wear jewelry with firearms on it?
<K-Necrocide> It kinda makes you wish he was assraped to death with a big black cock.

#103236
<Liquid> dude. I haven't visisted youtube in weeks
<Liquid> I'm cured!

#301942
<Ryan> I had my car broken into. They ignored my two laptops, but instead took my iPhone charger and 3 cans of Grape Soda from my cooler.

#2898
<XxDeThxX> thats what the sperm whales do..they check out the females then all the males rub against eachother til they spooge

#5376
<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*

#10609
(+aileur): man you guys rock
(+aileur): killed 120 people in a wedding
(@SeeDee): news here says 20
(+JoeYoung): eh?
(@headc4se): well they're canadian cd, so using the metric system
(+JoeYoung): metric people
(+JoeYoung): 1 standard person=6 metric people

#46506
<treb> what if the compy freezes?
<@Gertie> Get it a blanket?
Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com

#53708
<cmantito> I just found an old briefcase
<cmantito> with all my 2600 magazines in it
<cmantito> and a can of Crisco.
<cmantito> ... ><
<celti> ...
<celti> a can of Crisco?
<cmantito> I have NO idea.

#1945
<infinity> IT'S AN EAST COAST WEST COAST THANG..BEEEEYOTCH!
<al-x> east coast west coast for inf = russia and france
<infinity> stfu asswipe

#33398
Paulson McIntyre: hey, whats up?
Ohzie: Depends on what you consider down. It could be anything, depending on the point of reference.
Paulson McIntyre: ...smart ass

#8855
<Anton> whooops
<Anton> I was just talking to a girl on msn and she stopped replying so I said I wanted to fuck her in the ass to get her attention
<Anton> then her little brother just said "soow y anton i have stolen my putta zar is npot bein wude shell brb"

#34844
(sean-):  me and my girlfriend did the most bad ass thing
(fleet):  anal no lube?

#12115
<log> im done dling it, now i just need to pick up my new comp so i can run it properly

#652
<TrUSoLDiA> since when was linux free?

#5022
<theo-> ADSL.....is that some sort of learning difficulty?

#49452
<Goose> if you could only renice a person's inner crazy
<deblin> lol
<deblin> dude it's a woman, impossible =O
<Goose> lol
<Goose> single tasking system
<Yock> deblin: is there an entry in pf.conf for the cross country move? Maybe you can lower its priority too
<Yock> nice -19 `pidof wife`
<shray> bahaha

#266051
<PandaFister> pedo = feet or love of the ground
<OliveTower> America spells it pedophile
<@PandaFister> because their FUCKING STOOPID
<@PandaFister> do I have to go through the whole pedo/paedo explination
<@PandaFister> e.g. a pedometer counts how many footsteps you've made
<@PandaFister> and a paedometer counts how many children you've fucked

#463
"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly,
flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to
intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."
The Chicago Times review of After Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

#51089
<Twyce_Dailey> u know... cheap body jewelery isn't fun
<AphonyDissnt> sure it is..
<AphonyDissnt> you can play "what's that infection"
Comment: #20something on Undernet

#3041
<ZombiiPro> pretty please with a virgin cherry on top

#36333
<Unrelated> Wheel of Fortune should be called Fat People Guessing

#49936
< Meghan> I think my bad coding gives away my sex :P
< pr3d4t0r> Meghan: What's your gender?  Indian?

#38212
<MStar> what's an IRC agent?
<Xshare> eh.
<Xshare> Someone who goes around and tries to get you ops in IRC Channels?
<Xshare> Usually Jewish?