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#218444
<Laxos> I used to work in a musical instrument chain store.
<Laxos> (We specialised in guitars and basses)
<Laxos> There was a guy who worked with me, kinda a geek like me.
<Laxos> After a few months of low sales the business failed.
<Laxos> Half the stores were bought by one firm, and half by another.
<Laxos> Both of them offered to take on all the existing staff, if we wanted it.
<Laxos> I ended up going to one firm, and this other guy went to another.
<Laxos> Somehow, we ended up getting rights to nearly all the existing stock.
<Laxos> Bit of a 'fuck you' to the other firm, really.
<Laxos> When we were putting these basses in the van, I go over to the guy and I'm like 'hey, all your bass are belo--'
<Laxos> I stopped because the guy shot me a look that could have killed a small animal.
#2662
(CitizenC) You know what I don't understand? Why my bank requires me to have a hardcore, uber-encrypted password so I can see how much I have left to pay on my MasterCard. Fuck... if somebody else wants to access my account and pay it off, be my guest.
#30475
<BosHaus> so far I've gotten $250 in the mail
<BosHaus> for graduation
<Defiant> Any girls?
<Rogue> His letterbox is probably too small for that.
#305935
< JustBurn> that was only fun if we were still in the DOS ear
< JustBurn> *era
< abadidea> DOS ear? is that what you get if you play games which only use the beeper for too long
< abadidea> sorry, i can't hear you over the ringing, i have a bad case of dos ear ;<
Comment: #nesdev
#67077
<+Clariax> M_Tabak fears paper cutters
<+M_Tabak> I don't like paper cutters. I think it's their attitude. They're all about destruction and tearing things apart. That's not what I'm all about. I'm about togetherness. You know who has it right? Staplers. Staplers, man.
#290414
<RobWrtchd> -8 is a great temperature, because it looks like an emoticon for what happens to your dick at -8
#5345
<Ramen> When my penis grows in size at the site of a naked male, then I'll believe I'm gay.
#19493
*** Joins: Gabe (Gabe@ZiRC-62019.net273.fl.sprint-hsd.net)
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Gabe
<@Gabe> WHAT, NO FANFARE?
* @Mr_X sticks a trumpet in his arse
* @Mr_X farts loudly
#4918
<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter
#296552
<@Pryoidain> OH WHAT THE HELL
<@Pryoidain> I open up the server computer to do a hot swap
<@Pryoidain> theres a jar of fucking peanuts in there
<@Pryoidain> I've been looking for that jar for 3 days
<@Minako> XD
<@Pryoidain> I finally went out and bought another one
<@Pryoidain> now I find it
<@Minako> Why'd you put it in there. XD
<@Pryoidain> I snack on peanuts while I work. sometimes its just easier to have the peanuts IN the actual work area.
<@Pryoidain> although that habit has created for some interesting conversations with clients after I do server repairs
<@Pryoidain> "Uh yes, you repaired our server a few months back...and ever since then, the entire room has smelled like peanuts..." "err...oh...whoops"
#10916
<Random> Lesbionic? What's that? The six-million-dollar gay woman?
#1621
<iMike> i think english transcends spelling
<DooD> especially with words like k3wl d00d
#8504
<dr_rotcod> my poo was white again. this cannot go on
#305324
<Pomax> 20 years from now, someone is going to have the radical idea to give users access to the underlying OS, rather than to the browser API, and he will be heralded a revolutionary.
<Pomax> All manner of programming languages will pop up that work outside "the browser", giving access to "offline" applications, storing files in "user space", even perhaps running in something called "kernel mode".
<Pomax> It'll be a brave new world.
<Mirell> It's scary that's believable.
#40928
<FoxMulder> Don't you HATE growing up? As a kid you'd dread being called in after school by that sultry hot blonde teacher with the emo glasses and the figure-hugging blouse for a few whacks on the ass....NOW that I'm an adult I have to PAY for such treatment :(((((
Comment: zanet.org.za network
#310231
Maidenhelos> There are few times in life when "Oh shit" is more appropriate than when you accidentally find the septic tank by falling into it...
Maidenhelos> On a completely "unrelated" note guess what I did today
#31906
< zYgoat> i want to start a company selling human milk
< andyfied> look at their little faces
< zYgoat> i think it'd be hilarious
< zYgoat> hire women
< zYgoat> hook up the suction cups
< zYgoat> then have them do telemarketing work while the tubes suck their teats
< andyfied> suddenly this channel is bash-worthy
< zYgoat> see i should be making money with this instead of chatting
< zYgoat> hell
< andyfied> go for it
< zYgoat> i could sell the video footage
< zYgoat> earn three ways
< andyfied> yeah, best. plan. ever.
17:24 <@Scoth> I'm sure there's someone out there who'd buy it :)
#45065
<fimion> i think canada's country code should be .eh
Comment: amen. (#C&T)
#270129
< Frowardd> this channel, collectively, is alikened to a bundle of burning cigarettes
< Frowardd> ie, full of nicotine and bad for me.
< Frowardd> goodnight
<@relsqui> that was the subtlest way to call us all fags ever
< Selig> relsqui: what was?
<@relsqui> exactly.
#38063
<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather
#35284
(~mrWoot) I wonder what chairs think all day. Oh shit, here comes another asshole!
Comment: #talk on LCIRC.net
#301183
<h0dg3s> anyone here good with vista and domains?
<NoMoreNicksLeft> Yes. I'm a Vista expert.
<NoMoreNicksLeft> What's your question?
<h0dg3s> I have a vista pc that was deleted out of AD and it won't let me log on locally
<h0dg3s> son ofnm, reboot worked
<NoMoreNicksLeft> That'll be $75. Rounded up to the hour, of course.
Comment: #reddit
#305736
<Keyla> we had a fun customer today who came in with a very detailed handwritten list of components for a computer he wanted us to build for him
<Keyla> core i5 or i7, 6-8 GB of ram (or maybe 12), 2 hard drives (he specifically requested no raid)
<Keyla> for word processing
<_habnabit> Maybe he wanted to use OOo
#300584
Matthew: It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook. We have 11 friends in common. I need new friends.
#5883
<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody. shes not around, he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?