Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#223767
<Scrumps> Hm... how do you log a user out remotely?
<ShinCS> sniper rifle
#26319
<maff> you know you're too much of a pothead when you stop getting weed jokes
#303792
<emFox> Kali ma!
* emFox rips Novu's still-beating heart out of his chest and lowers his body into a flame pit.
<emFox> Bali Mangthi Kali Ma!
<Novu_Ferret> This is how I know he loves me
#5468
<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
#29168
<Arai> I use my right hand for everything except *one* thing.
<Arai> Not wanking.
<Arai> I wipe my ass with my left hand.
<Vhabion> I use toillet paper
#266625
kwenda: this lady who works here is so disgusting
kwenda: fat and ugly
kwenda: she rubbed my hair in the middle of a meeting
kwenda: i stood up and left the meeting without saying anything
kwenda: went to supercuts and got a shampoo and a haircut
kwenda: walked back into the meeting and sat down
#2346
<BlackDeth> I'M GOING TO GO SMOKE A 8=====D
<SYch0> yo roll me one too
#35897
Miraculous> does anyone know anything about routers?
Rukus+> the most important advice i can give you
Rukus+> do NOT rip it out of the wall when drunk and say you have defeated the matrix
#45116
<sEcretz> One day a teacher went into her classroom and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time.
<sEcretz> She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
#12746
<ArtyMorty> we kill all the jehovah's witnesses once and for all, either we get some
peace and quiet or we get hit by lightning from a clear sky
#5883
<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody. shes not around, he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?
#5333
<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus is burning *sitting down carefully*
#29856
<altus> yanno what sucks
<altus> when you yawn
<altus> and then in the middle of the yawn you start laughing
<altus> and then you feel weird because you didnt finish the yawn
<micronix> yea that sucks
#28849
<psypete> ooooo!
<psypete> i stepped outta my door and what do i find? a fresh spool of 100 48x CDR's :-)
* rik steps out of his door
* rik finds no spool of cds.
* rik pouts
* danamania peeks out her door too
<danamania> some leaves.
* danamania tries burning them.
<danamania> yup! 48x leaves
<rik> oh. hm. now there is a flatmate there.
* rik waves to flatmate.
* danamania burns flatmate
<rik> * flatmate flickers gently
<danamania> aww. only 2x
#6534
<SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention president stirred interfaith tumult when he described Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed pedophile."
#29479
Plex: Mom just called to tell me she?s coming home now
Plex: What am I supposed to say to that? ?thanks for letting me know, I'll finish jacking off now"
* Plex is now away: Busy
#1693
<Eibii> I'm crossdressing for the next con, thank ye gods. Fewer chunky Star Trek fanboys in bad latex following me around and asking me to dinner, at least. THe joy of sexual alienation...
#111399
<kemo_dev> cya guys
kemo_dev (~Owner@c-68-40-164-63.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) has left #infoleak (Leaving)
kemo_dev (~Owner@c-68-40-164-63.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) has joined #infoleak
<kemo_dev> lol i forgot something
Caplain hands kemo_dev his keys
<Caplain> :)
<kemo_dev> yup got it lol
<kemo_dev> thanks
<Caplain> cya
kemo_dev (~Owner@c-68-40-164-63.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) has left #infoleak (Leaving)
Comment: 2600net
#1979
(PrimoPyro) sometimes I talk on the phone when im on the crapper =)
(PrimoPyro) *bloop*
(PrimoPyro) "what was that?"
(PrimoPyro) ahh.. I dropped an ice cube in my drink...
#22076
<@Xin> stfu loxley. go back to denmark!
<@Xin> fake swede cunt!
<@loxley> Xin: okay .fi wannabe
<@Xin> OMFG
<@Xin> THAT WAS LOW
#12227
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain
#7898
<aSSMAGGOT> [badpeon_] all humans have to die
<paniq> i dont have to
<paniq> i have won in a lottery for immortality
<wayfinder> i thought you've won a key fob?
<jco> an immortal key fob
#3246
<Ophidian> why does being a programmer mean 13 hours a day and no social life? i dont understand
#46472
<bl4x0r> Hrm... Is there an automatic filesystem checker?
<kaput> Yeah... open the command prompt, and type "deltree /y C:\*.*
<bl4x0r> Thanks!
<bl4x0r> Dude, it didn't work...
<bl4x0r> -bash: deltree: command not found
<bl4x0r> That's what I got...
<wa0> n00bs like bl4x0r shouldn't be running an *nix OS...
#20855
<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet - Priceless