Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#297642
[@pezdispenser] i have no idea where i put my wallet
[@pezdispenser] i distinctly remember putting it down somewhere last night and thinking 'i'm never going to find that in the morning'
[@pezdispenser] at least i was right
#28426
<Data> I majored in sex.
<holysox> your a drop out then?
<Data> :fu:
#18419
<KuIpo> does anyone know how to burn a dreamcast game?
* [TX]-KnacK hands KuIpo a can of #2 diesel and a lighter - THere ya go!
#304691
<BunneH> i saw a urologist yesterday
<BunneH> er.. today, not yesterday
<BunneH> he had to use KY jelly to get his thumb into my prostate
<BunneH> well, i dunno if it was KY
<BunneH> may have been aknockoff
<BunneH> point is, i had a jelly-covered thumb in my anus
<BunneH> i felt like a donut
<BunneH> when he poked it he said "does this make you feel like you need to urinate?"
<BunneH> i almost said "no, but i feel like i need to shit a thumb"
<BunneH> luckily, i refrained, and just said "no"
#18806
churchonmondays: whatcha up to?
MissMandieMay: not much
MissMandieMay: talking
MissMandieMay: with da peps
churchonmondays: don't you mean peeps?
MissMandieMay: no
MissMandieMay: people is spelled with one e
churchonmondays: OMG take that back before i call you a dumbass
#49374
<ndonegan> arghh!! Touched a metal shelfing unit here, and a fellow walking past the office actually came in cause he saw the flash from the static shock and my body in close proximity :/
<hostyle> so you flashed some guy walking by your office?
<ndonegan> hostyle: you have a very interesting way of seeing things
Comment: seen on #linux on irc.linux,ie
#6197
<barkode:#916> i'm a fan of real time irc.
<barkode:#916> not this playing-chess-via-postal-mail-to-uzbekistan irc strategy kubla has
#307516
<+Polynomial> there's a weight loss clinic on my way to work called Beacon
<+Polynomial> someone spray painted over the 'e' so it reads "B acon" instead
<slc> haha awesome
<+Polynomial> not only that, but they did it on the slogan too...
<+Polynomial> "Lose weight fast with B acon!"
<slc> rofl
<slc> whoever did that needs an invitation to the league of internet superheroes
#3369
<C00k0> I used to think ircops were cybercops that would run around like leet hackers in movies and storm your house if you did something bad
<hex86> and were you sad when you found out they actually do very little?
<C00k0> I was quite happy ^_^
#304082
<Count> i put QDB and bash on my reader too :)
<Count>: now in 12 months time when bash gets one new quote, i'll be ready!
Comment: #batcave on Austnet
#30412
<Pciber> Dude.
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't fuckin around!
#265195
<Gayo> google added gif emoticons to gmail.
<mathrick> they did?
<mathrick> FUCKERS
<Gayo> "If you're tired of not being able to find the right words to express yourself in your messages, emoticons are here to help."
<Gayo> Oh Christine, I love you so much more than my crass tongue can ever express! Let me show you how I feel with this smiley face in a party hat.
#387
<deft-> i always type /dick instead of /nick on accident =
#3014
{[FoF]}Draegos: no, I dont jerk off
{[FoF]}Draegos: i never jacked off and never will
xceptional: your nuts must be the size of bean bag chairs
#305789
<+replicated> talking to a friend in japan now
<+replicated> she thought she was gonna die lol
<!Suriko> tsunamis can do that
<!Suriko> is her house/relatives okay?
<+replicated> yeah all good
<+replicated> she's in yokohama
<+replicated> so no tsunami
<+replicated> but still scary as shit
<Doomfest> ask her if her figurines are fine
<+replicated> this is why you never get laid doom
#5584
<Villager> haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'?
<Alexander> i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive'
#6918
<aer> I don't like pamela anderson type breasts
<xf> Their remote controls are annoying and not well documented.
#19200
<etiolate> i am a lil loose tonight
<etiolate> I had a brass monkey
<etiolate> which is rum, vodka, and OJ
<IQpierce> they should call it a White Bronco
<IQpierce> because all three of those things were probably in that car
#993
serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong
#10135
<Starchild> !define PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> DEFINING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot> 2 entries found for PCMCIA.
<CCU-Bot> Entry 1/2:
<CCU-Bot> PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> <body, standard> Personal Computer Memory Card International
<CCU-Bot> Association. (Or People Can't Memorise Computer Industry
<CCU-Bot> Acronyms).
<CCU-Bot> DONE - PCMCIA (Entry 1/2)
<Starchild> hey, fuck you
#4585
<[ric]> personally I prefer a nice big vibro up the ass while typing two handed
<gaymale> your coworkers get suspicious if you type good one hand in front of them
<[ric]> yeh.. luckily I have the door wired up to the vibro, that way the motor cuts out as they enter the room
#296968
<rmrfResume> So let me get this straight.
<rmrfResume> You built a linux system from scratch using hardened GCC
<rmrfResume> secured the whole system with RSBAC
<rmrfResume> Developed private chroots for each and every service ran on it
<rmrfResume> which include an http, ftp, smtp, pop3, imap, irc, and dyndns server
<rmrfResume> WITH mail filtering and dynamic mysql databases for each service
<rmrfResume> with the mysql daemon in its own chroot
<rmrfResume> then did same system networking for the whole lot
<rmrfResume> and had everything running in a single night?
<Pryoidain> I do cocaine.
<cjk> oh
<asaph[Away]> WOW
<rmrfResume> suddenly it all makes sense.
#43506
<Dracos> Education levels by vocabulary:
<Dracos> Drop out: Dude, this is like, watch my hands!
<Dracos> High school: Using this technique, I can accomplish something.
<Dracos> Undergraduate: Understanding this paradigm, I can accomplish more.
<Dracos> Graduate: Defining a paradigm, we can see that this subtree of technique and method becomes more clear.
<Dracos> Doctorate/Post-Doctorate: Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm Paradigm.
#297266
<Warchamp7> The other day at work, two of my bosses were trying to find each other in the office
<Warchamp7> And they were yelling "Ping!" back and forth
<Warchamp7> It was one of the greatest moments of my life
Comment: #MAGFest on irc.vgmusic.net
#3625
<nakke> !dictionary fellatio
<FillyJonk> 2 entries found for fellatio.
<FillyJonk> fel-la-ti-o (f-l, -sh, f-) n. Oral stimulation of the penis. [New Latin, from Latin felltus, past participle of fellre, to suck. See dh(i)- in Indo-European Roots.]
<JibberJim> So billions is spent on making it possible for people to "chat" across the world, and access dictionary's and what do you do? - look up dirty words...