Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#22984
<DigitlDud> which button here calls your parents to pick you up?
#5810
<A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
<DarthJesus> I dunno'
<DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do anything for you
<A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.
#18603
<RG-M1> i hope that if i ever get raped some day, it's by a monster with crazy penis tentacles, and penis fingers, too
<Tamahome> and that's one for the geekquotes page:P
#15905
(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'
(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id
(juslooken) it was very jedi
#40420
<Pokey> dude got fired from his job missing one day of work
<Pokey> ONE
<Pokey> in which he tried to get someone to cover for him
<Pokey> his sister was having a baby
<Pokey> but yet
<Pokey> they fired him
<bl4kwid0w> oO that's pretty harsh
<Pokey> well, to be fair, he lied about his sister having a baby so he could enjoy some alcohol with me
<Pokey> but still
<Pokey> they dont know that
#46201
Imperialism32: You know what I just noticed
Imperialism32: Nothing ever fucking happens in South America
Imperialism32: Seriously
Imperialism32: when was the last time you heard about ANYTHING from there?
Imperialism32: I usually forget it exists until I play Risk
#45221
<Lost> wow this is so retarted
<Lost> my main computer
<Lost> needs a new video card
<Tenor> ? Lost
<Lost> flys got inside my computer and cloged everything up
<Lost> like
<Lost> tons of them
<Tenor> how the fuck did that happen
<Lost> and burnt out my video card
<Lost> I have no screen on my window
<Lost> and I have LED lights
<Lost> so I guess they go near the LED fan
<Lost> and get sucked in
#9976
Nikki_afe > Russian biscuits are nice :)
Snaar_afe > Nikki: hm, i can't remember anything special about them
Snaar_afe > Nikki: i'm not sure if there is such thing as russian buscuits :-)
Snaar_afe > maybe it's just a rebranded dry dogfood :-,
oPless_afe > "russian biscuits" = potatos
#7539
< ryll > "putting the 'fun' back into fundamentalism, and the 'laughter' back into sectarian slaughter"
#77492
<big_bob_9> man i just took the SAT
<big_bob_9> im so tired
<krakatau585> haha its really hard isnt it
<beano> thats what your mom said
<big_bob_9> its so long too
<beano> thats what your mom said
<krakatau585> but you still dont have enough time to finish haha
<beano> thats what your mom said
<krakatau585> dude stop before you go too far
<beano> thats what your mom said!
<big_bob_9> rofl
#43102
* SPELLBOUND (_SPELLBOUN@62.215.46.114) has joined #q8metal
<SPELLBOUND> hey all
<sEcretz> SHUTUP! IM SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYBODY SAYING "HEY ALL" WHEN THEY JOIN A CHANNEL...... THE PROPER TERM SHOULD BE "HELLO!!!!"
<Doe> Shut up should be two words. Your point?
<sEcretz> ....
#5315
<Knighted> JLsoft: when i was flying into toronto, there was a good deal of cloud coverage and visibility was low. so i looked out the window and immediately though "this is like an N64 game"
#37991
<VooDoo-chan> im sitting at home watching TV with my girlfriend, Amanda, last night... her daughter is sitting on the floor in front of us eating Jell-O... she asks me "Sean, what is Jell-O?" i look over at Amanda and she looks at me waiting for me to answer her daughter... i turn back to Tesley and tell her "Well, honey, Jell-O is made from Crushed Unicorns"...
<VooDoo-chan> whole lot of crying happened after that
#48735
(Lurking) did you know that 62% of statistics are made up on the spot?
(Nick) did you know that joke is unfunny 100% of the time?
#302189
<Aaron> Tier-1/2 DNS provider based in Canada, 10 minute TTL on your A records (fast global propagation on changes)
<Sebas> Words in that sentence I understood: Provider, Canada, minute.
<flack> global
<Sebas> Don't overestimate my linguistic aptitude.
#139309
<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs
#16682
*** UndErX has joined #help
<UndErX> sup lamer newbies
<UndErX> answer this if u r not newbiez:
<FiEsTy-> well, ask
<UndErX> no newbie lamer
<UndErX> lamerz
<FiEsTy-> hey please dont type /quit fiesty- because it makes me quit IRC.. please
*** Quits: UndErX (Quit: fiesty-)
#13874
<Nall> ...you know what's funny? I was expecting to hit my rock bottom a few minutes ago
<Nall> And yet... here I am, talking about scribbling vaginas on my chest in order to spooge on myself
#51913
<Neon> Well, there's a surefire boner-killer. Watching porn on Windows Media Player and realizing that you have the MSN music plugin enabled, showing the girl you'd like to ask out soon the title of what you're watching.
#59664
garysimat: so...
garysimat: all i need is 2000 now to get my rims
garysimat: 1/5 the way there
Aeternum Tacet: ...
Aeternum Tacet: aren't the stock rims nice?
garysimat: there decent
garysimat: but i want 20" chrome
Aeternum Tacet: I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I hope you get robbed
#35113
_Sarah_: so what do you do all night?
groogle: ....
groogle: fuck with peoples minds on irc ;)
_Sarah_: ahhhh
_Sarah_: so im just a victim?
#55808
<SteelHard> how r u ?
* Gen|G^2 is now known as Gen|G^ZZZ
* Gen|G^ZZZ gives SteelHard an a,e,y and o before he goes
<SteelHard> what ?
<Gen|G^ZZZ> how can i put it nicely...
* Gen|G^ZZZ is now known as TheEnglishLanguage
<TheEnglishLanguage> OH GOD IM DYING
#14178
*** Emo has joined #GDProject
<Emo> hwat kind of emo do u like emo?
<Emo> oh shit
<Emo> thats me
<Emo> lol
<Emo> boy do i look like a dumbass
<Emo> forgot i switched comps
#41219
[@jmelloy] my dad went to highschool with Janeway
[@selcouth] jmelloy: YOUR DAD IS IN STARFLEET?
#1765
<skunko> my standards for chicks right now are super low
<skunko> i'd go out with a chick as long as she wasnt fat, was shorter than me, and was going to get me off in some fashion