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#18359
<S8NSSON-cantDCC> *gigle* while i wiggle
<DaveMan> ok, in the south, thats acceptable, but not here
#2632
<spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on my asshole
#50042
Jeff: I didnt know how to do a problem
Jeff: so I drew a giant pacman and wrote "pacman sez math is hard"
Jeff: teacher just wrote "Spelling -1"
Comment: #aim
#72713
<InsomniA> Heh... My Prof in Theorem proving class threw out some kid...
<InsomniA> He was talking about his friends telling him to have sex with some chick.
<InsomniA> And the Prof's like "If I asked you to have sex with me, would you!?"
<InsomniA> At which point the kid starts screaming "REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM!!!"
#20172
<freddieandthestarfish> if homosexuallity is a disease, can i call into work gay??
<mal_s> u homo
#3454
<Mike> ARGH SHIT
<Mike> Ive been on the internet for ALMOST 3 HOURS
<Mike> SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHITE
<Mike> BIG HUGE PHONE BILL
<Mike> bye bye everyone
*** Mike (~M@194.165.170.168) Quit (Quit: Mike is Gone, Nobody Noticed)
<Jumper> heh
<Jumper> "phone"
#307475
<ReinDigga> it was awesome, i was walking to the station at half 8 this morning
<ReinDigga> and i heard from behind me "hey, HEY, HELLLOOOOOO?"
<ReinDigga> so i turn round
<ReinDigga> and there's a man dressed fairly well, and he lifts his hand, and calls "would you like some of my spliff?"
<ReinDigga> what a nice guy
#28927
<[Knob]> So anyway, I was in this pub yesterday night, and there was music playing. So my friend suddenly says to me "This is good music to jerk off to" I'm like "What the fuck?" and he goes "Yeah, doesn't everyone have a song that they jerk off to?" - And while he said that, the music was turned off and he screamed it throughout the entire pub. Everyone was looking mighty strange at me...
#20795
<arm> it says i have 3 ircs running when i can only see 2
<arm> when i go to task manager
<arm> now wich one is it... hmm
* arm (mattchoo86@h68-144-169-29.cg.shawcable.net) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
#302356
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY
#187
*** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA'
#3652
<blazemore> one time i was camping with a bunch of friends and me and this girl were sleeping next to each other and we were both laying on our sides with our asses touching and i accidentally farted
#44924
<CAPS-LOCK> ARRGH
<CAPS-LOCK> As I unplugged a 4.3Gb SCSI HD, three of the power connector pins broke
<CAPS-LOCK> Equipped with only a 45-watt glass iron with a flat tip and a 3/4 used spool of silver-bearing solder I set out to reattach them
<CAPS-LOCK> After 45 minutes of burning my fingers trying to avoid knocking the damn things over with my gigantic iron, I finally managed to get them all fixed
<CAPS-LOCK> I gleefully went upstairs and attempted to reinstall the HD in its new home.
<CAPS-LOCK> but as I plugged in the power connector...
<CAPS-LOCK> ALL FOUR PINS BROKE!!!!
<CAPS-LOCK> My belly is so full of hate right now...
<overridex> CAPS-LOCK: hmm.... that's kind of like killing a weed in your lawn with a bazooka while leaving everything else in tact ;)
Comment: Woops, trimmed too much off that last one.
#309287
<Loxus> I fell for my own prank..
<Loxus> I had made a hidden folder on one of my hard drives named 'XXX'
<Loxus> when I opened it, there were only a text file named 'HAHA! Nothing here'
<Loxus> and I forgot that I did that. :P
#43365
<Aelia> and he had like 200 GB of hentai -_-
* Smile checks how much he has.
<Ceras> good old hentai
<Smile> 300mb.
<Smile> -.-' no telling Juney.
* Smile holds a knife to everyone.
<Ceras> omg...what a loser....
<sp3tt> Smile... ever heard of bash.org?
<Smile> Yes.
<Smile> OH SHIT
#181649
<@vap0r> a friend of mine got out of jail after being in for 10 years or os
<@vap0r> so
<@vap0r> a young guy
<@vap0r> he had no idea abou tthe internet at all really
<@vap0r> this was years ago
<@iNToIT> and now he wants to have sex with you?
<@vap0r> nah hes still straight
<@iNToIT> lies
<@vap0r> but it was just weird
<@vap0r> he ended up getting on the internet
<@vap0r> and the first thing he searched for was latino girls
<@vap0r> and it blew his mind
#5778
<guest> u kno what rules
<guest> introducing girls to pot
<yesue> no lie
<guest> u smoke pot alone with a girl for the first time
<guest> there is a 250% chance of getting laid
#2495
<CompGod> If crime doesn't pay, is my job illegal?
#34750
<Theogony> e and his community service
<Theogony> he needs to be buying me lunch right now. i've gone 9.5 days without insulting him regarding a certain physical characteristic
<Theogony> i told him my idea of community service is to leave torrent files open after i've downloaded them
<KArmA-> hehehe
<KArmA-> you're a credit to the species
Comment: #couch on EFnet
#5937
<hypr> i rolled once when i saw oakenfold a year ago he played really gay house and 5 trance songs at the end and my e dident even work
<matts> your e didn't work? did you read the manual
#7065
<skatoni> will some one please help
<shev> ya?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<shev> unplug your modem
<skatoni> how?
<shev> see those wires behind your computer?
<shev> rip'em all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer)
#1064
* r0bt3k looks at his 100 megs of mp3s
<r0bt3k> hehehe
* r0bt3k then looks at his 5 gigs of porn
<r0bt3k> hahahah
#7374
<[[tom]]> this game is damn addictive...
<xcon6> minesweeper?
<[[tom]]> final fantasy x
<xcon6> same thing
#67416
yeats: man
yeats: fuck it
yeats: if it's wrong, it's worng
yeats: lol worny
yeats: wtf
yeats: worny
yeats: ..
yeats: worng&
yeats: fuck this
#18317
<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence