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#17642
<Squee-G> You're old school? I beta tested the mother fucking abacus!
#6060
<Disciple> nice, local computer club uses kerberos for password based access to the clubroom instead of a key.
<Disciple> if you give the wrong password, the door doesn't open. Instead the screen says "Kerberos bites you, kerberos bites you. You die."
#142747
Matt: On Valentine's Day, this guy got a "condom flower." It's exactly what it sounds. A condom stapled to the petals.
Matt: I told him not to use that condom.
Matt: He asked why.
Cainen: ...
#34264
<AnimeFreak> happy, are there any decent neo geo emulators for linux?
<happy> had you bothered to look, you would already have your answer. i can only therefore assume that your asking me is actually a thinly veiled request for anal penetration
#6590
<continuum> is there anything sweeter than the first few downloads once you switch to adsl?
<continuum> first sex, first drugs, first drink... don't think any compare to watching 12Mb d/l in like a second or two
#28826
<PhoenixUltima> Why the hell do you think people believe in Jesus?
<terra> BECAUSE JESUS EIGHT NINE!
#14716
<eden2> t_r: heh, patrick and i went and saw star wars last night......and i saw the WHOLE thing this time
<eden2> ...the whole movie, that is
#35680
<Jaime> I'll think of you when I'm lounging around in boxers eating cereal out of a box at ten in the morning and watching cartoons
<Jaime> did I say cartoons?
<Jaime> I meant porn
#29677
<MASTERrg> Japan ain't all that special.
<pluggydug> they got school girls!!
<pluggydug> that in itself is special enough for me!!
#21072
<eva> hey when will i be able to buy the matrix phone
<eva> cause i am definetly buying that
<Potrod> What's the matrix phone?
<NuttO> It's an ugly piece of shit made by Samsung
<Potrod> What does it look like?
<NuttO> Imagine a brick, now keep imagining a brick and call it a phone.
<eva> whatever dudes, youll all be green with jealousy from all that matrix code running down your face while i clik it open and ask my mom to borrow the car
#8893
<Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
<Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."
#3743
<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy
#305324
<Pomax> 20 years from now, someone is going to have the radical idea to give users access to the underlying OS, rather than to the browser API, and he will be heralded a revolutionary.
<Pomax> All manner of programming languages will pop up that work outside "the browser", giving access to "offline" applications, storing files in "user space", even perhaps running in something called "kernel mode".
<Pomax> It'll be a brave new world.
<Mirell> It's scary that's believable.
#2238
<DrWoody> List of things I have accomplished today:
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> That is all.
#36883
mistercow43: but I thought I'd tell you how insane I am
mistercow43: i find a hot dog in the fridge
mistercow43: I think
mistercow43: "ok, I'll have a cheese dog"
mistercow43: I look
mistercow43: no cheese, except parmesan
mistercow43: no hotdog buns
mistercow43: in fact
mistercow43: no bread except for pita and tortilla
mistercow43: so naturally
mistercow43: I fried an egg
mistercow43: put it on the hot dog
mistercow43: put some italian pasta sauce on it
mistercow43: and some parmesan cheese
mistercow43: and nuked it for 30 seconds
Narso310: LOL
Narso310: was it good?
mistercow43: yes
mistercow43: yes it was
#294955
<fleebailey33> lmao
<fleebailey33> i am repairing a computer
<fleebailey33> i open the dvd drive and i find mature moms volume 18
<fleebailey33> its not a burned copy either
#32810
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP> . <- the point -> your direction of travel
#18600
<Makes> that was real cute, asshole
<Fansy> Thank you!
<Makes> welcome to ignore
<Fansy> one time a friend ignored me for 2 days
<Fansy> it was some serious cold-shouldering
<Fansy> I was so bothered by it, whenever I called his house and he hung up I would just keep talking prteending he was there
<Fansy> until the BEEP BEEP BEEP sound anyway
<Fansy> You know Makes, I feel like I could tell you anything
*** Makes sets mode: +m
#4077
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah
#2501
<FuseGirl> life is like a toilet roll, when it's near the end, you panic
#7790
<zyrowan> when I have a fiance
<zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the back of my balls
<zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
<zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic
#299900
<@pyna> i read a survey of all the ways they spell khadafi
<@pyna> theres dozens
< pgp> the only thing gadaffi is good for is testing regular expressions
< pgp> M[ou]'?am+[ae]r .*([AEae]l[- ])? [GKQ]h?[aeu]+([dtz][dhz]?)+af[iy]
#2793
* FlipMeign is HELLA STRAIGHT
* CaliSean is STRAIGHTER
<soupking> straight? so's spaghetti till u heat it up.
#283998
work : I've been playing linegae2 for 5 years
3610 : I've been working for 5 years, I have a house and two cars
#12924
<Merrick> Elizabethian: To be or not to be, that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. Ebonics: I be fixin to hang in the hood.