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#13295
<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here
#30515
<@chort> but can you trust those crazy dutch?
<@chort> i mean, WOODEN SHOES!
<@phessler> well, they did bring us the word SABOTAGE
<@phessler> and if it's good enough for the Beastie Boys, its good enough for me
#2171
(Reverend_) i thought i had to shit really bad
(Reverend_) but then i just farted like 3 times, and now i'm all cool
(Reverend_) but my ass is kinda wet and sticky
(Reverend_) any hot chicks, msg me, and we'll talk about it
(Reverend_) share your feelings
#1730
<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?
#13443
<[d]-kCmCg-> at least your computer didnt lock up like a nervous virgin on prom night....
#4769
<kyle> if you are aroused by the sight of a penis, are you gay?
<Scofco> nope
<kyle> good
<Scofco> you're A FUCKING QUEER FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE
<Scofco> either that, or a girl
<Scofco> but even girls don't get aroused by penises
<Scofco> at least not MY penis :(
#57165
<jnz> I spilt Mountain Dew on my keyboard a few times and it left some thick syrupy stuff I never really decided to clean off. I've also spilt drinks on my cable modem and in my surge protector. Everything still worked fine.
<jnz> I move into an apartment close to my college for a semester and sugar ants appeared out of nowhere and would swarm my computer and electronics at night. In a week or so my cable modem, surge protector, and keyboard were completely clean and syrup free. Ants rock.
#21828
<ash|revising> logs are for beavers
#47776
instaathome: What does being peaceful have to do with not wanting a massive fuel-powered cannon?
#1678
<SEoD> ooooh, my mac is gorgeous
<SEoD> it's so expensive and see-thru
<Xlord> sounds like some women I know
#9915
<Jag> I think I'm going to print out the Kama Sutra and label it "TFM" so I can leave it laying around work.
<Jag> Not really, but it would be terribly amusing
<ender> Jag: ROFL!
* ender ponders what the lotus position has to do with X tunneling, but honestly, after reading TFM for a couple minutes, all of a sudden I don't really care about X tunneling....
<Jag> Ahh, here's the section on tunnels... oh my.....
#28375
<skore> "He said on IRC that he has some drugs, go and get him"
<Huppumies> "Where's he at?"
<Huppumies> "Um... in IRC..."
<skore> "On #reggae"
#54252
<minion> a kid tried to kill himself today at school
<legoman> tried? what went wrong?
<minion> he tried to hang himself and the rafter broke
<legoman> what sort of shoddy-ass structure was he in?
<legoman> a tent?
#301620
<max621> you built him a NAS out of transistors?
<TuxThePenguin> he was struggling to make whatever stupid circuit when we were mising one 4-gate NAND chip
<max621> lol
<TuxThePenguin> and I was like
<TuxThePenguin> "bitch I'll make it out of transistors"
<TuxThePenguin> he's all
<TuxThePenguin> "nuh uh"
<TuxThePenguin> long story short we failed the assignment
#31923
<Lailoken> On Cinemax tonight they're showing Shrek from 11:00 to 12:30 and then Best Sex Ever from 12:30 to 1:00.
<Lailoken> Somewhere in America parents leave their child to go to a dinner party, "Here honey, you just watch Shrek and we'll be home some time after midnight."
#24337
<DarkForceRising> cmon pmab i need ur best anecdotes n jokes
<pmab> knock knock
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<DarkForceRising> whos there pmab u fgt
<DarkForceRising> !pmab
<DarkForceRising> pmab
<DarkForceRising> oi pmab
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<pmab> whos where?
* DarkForceRising is now known as dfr^ihatepmab
#189485
<goldfish> I took this little green pill for a headache, on my Granny's recommendation.
<goldfish> I woke up in the backyard three days later, no trousers on, talking to Elvis about the infinite.
<goldfish> Granny was yelling out a window at me, "Get up you baby! I take three of those and do my grocery shopping."
#8499
<Tippytoes> i have kids in the room
<Tippytoes> is it safe to look at?
<bark> i don't think they mention any words like CUNT on that page, no
<tm> just hide it behind your anal porn
#53949
<Rep> What do I say to my Mum when she discovers I bombed 26 days of meds in six fucking hours?
<kdogground2> Time flys when your having fun.
Comment: Yay for medication.
#153
<watashiwa> I think hypr accidentally joined #invest by mistakenngly typing a v instead of a c.
#1383
<Guilty> Thank god I'm sensible and had myself neutered
#361
<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac
#19317
MOONKISSED> you know if i had a .25 for everytime you people made no sense i'd be rich
Quasadu> moon: If I had 10 cents for everytime a man in a spacesuit came up behind me, gave me a weggie and said he loved me, i'd have forty cents
#23839
<manmanandboyboy> date syllabus check
<d00fus> dinner, movie, then snuggling
<munbty> carnival, cotton candy, and then moonlight stroll
<soccy_pants> drugs, rape, 2 hour police chase
#73997
<Detty> aww, my poor housemates have sore muscles from playing wii
<Detty> maybe if they'd ever USED THEM BEFORE, they'd be fine, like me
<Baconfish> Detty, why do i imagine you in real life as one of those folk that do nothing but sit and complain about everything else?
<Detty> i usually stand