Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#19765
(bigAl[work]): heh tiwanese technical support;
(bigAl[work]): "We think the PPPoE mission set has been incompleted by the router thing"
#305906
< tobyx> i want to fly to switzerland and make free love to the founder of rapidshare
< mc44> you'll catch something horrible :(
< mc44> but only after you wait 60 seconds
#33454
<mouse> I think my pulse has stopped.
* mouse reboots
#306044
<@CiTay> haha... watching Science.Ch.Moon.Machines.5of6.Space.Suit... in the space suit, they had this "pee bag" with a condom-like hose leading to it. initially they had three sizes for the condom-like part, small, medium and large. but all astronauts ordered the large part, no matter the real need. so they renamed it to large, gigantic and humongous.
#16555
<@E-vangelist> are asian masturbation jokes shorter?
#297086
< leth> gnufs: but that is already perfect, why would you need to change it?
< gnufs> leth: free software is not about perfection but satisfying your ego by modifying stuff for no reason
Comment: #gnewsense on Freenode
#48194
<Eviscero> so i made a new girlfriend.
<+eggburt> but then she melted?
#50021
<EventHorizon> is it just me or does our -106 prof wear sweaters alot?
<swtaarrs> that's a sweatshirt
<EventHorizon> yeah
<EventHorizon> i think sweatshirt extends sweater though
<EventHorizon> so its still an instance
<DroolingSheep> no it doesn't sweaters suck
<swtaarrs> you're an instance of stupid
<EventHorizon> ur an instance of ur mom
<ChixLoveUnix> I implemented your mom last night.
<EventHorizon> i extended ur mom so bad she threw an exception
<EventHorizon> or something
<swtaarrs> if your mom were a collection class, her insert method would be public
#8154
<Savant> heh you guys read halfrobo's post on lums boards?
<Kiler> I like his posts backing liet up on her "DAOC IS SEXIST CAUSE THE WOMEN SIT LIKE WOMEN AND IT"S A STEREOTYPE!!!"
<CrashCat> daoc is sexist because you can fist zombies!
<Kiler> that's not sexist...both sexes can do the zombie fisting
<CrashCat> oh yeah
#299753
<Reilithion> If yhou make a typo, like I just did, it's because somewhere on the net, someone else also made a typo of the opposite nature. In this case, somebody is missing an 'h' somewhere in one of their messages.
<bomb> wow, tat's an interesting theory
#5304
<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'
#299720
<+anosou> You're like the best man around
<+anosou> If there was a god of some kind, he'd be proud to have made you
<+anosou> If internet was full of women (which it is not) they would sleep with you
<+anosou> If zircon says something is S-tier, you say it isn't
<+anosou> If you were black, the southeners would still like you
<+anosou> If you moved to Japan, you'd become tentacle pope of the world
Comment: #ocremix
#33990
<orion> i HATE
<orion> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<orion> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY
#30106
<@crrj-lunchbreak> ROFLMAO, on the phone with my brother, internet is out at his work, his boss just said, and I heard it, "No internet? No e-mail too?"
<@crrj-lunchbreak> lol, the guy doesn't grok, no internet, no e-mail
* @DM laughs at crrj's brother's boss
<@crrj-lunchbreak> That's okay, we laugh at him too
<@crrj-lunchbreak> I used to work for him
<@crrj-lunchbreak> I watched him fry a HD by putting it circuit board down, power on, onto the chasis of the computer
Comment: And the guy supposedly does computer consulting...
#3849
<DMC[tiky]> the word rocks is funny to me, cause when i was a little kid in fox chapel, my friends brother told him GO SUCK ON A ROCK, so he did, and everyone crowded around him and watched him suck on this rock for like 10 minutes.............
#67276
* DreadPirate pictures the airline handing Mango a parachute and pointing her towards the door
Mango: DP: OI THERE! I'm very much male!
DreadPirate: oops :)
Mango: >.<
PinkFreud: at least I'm not the only one who makes that mistake. :P
DreadPirate: heh - glad to know I'm not alone as well
Mango: Hmm.
Mango: When you thought of me as a girl, was I pretty?
#33711
<Neon[UK]> i'm starting a successful online business
<Neon[UK]> and im 17
<Neon[UK]> so fuck you all
<Neon[UK]> apart from rjx
<Rjx> heh
<Rjx> you can't _start_ a succesful business
<Rjx> you get that status after a few years
#55385
<Andross> I just downloaded some perfectly legal software
<Andross> and they pakced it into segmented zips... containing segmented rars
Comment: #qc
#299777
[ reppie ] to understand electricity you really need to be an ohmosexual
#9391
<Cienna> were you breast fed?
<Ragnarok> yes
<Ragnarok> recently in fact
#54804
Evil Vaccum: have to figure out who I should invite, then
Evil Vaccum: this brings up an interesting problem
Evil Vaccum: who are my friends?
scythen32: your monitor, your keyboard, and your tower?
Evil Vaccum: pretty much
#310551
[MobileJovian] If something is objective only for one person, then it's not objective
[MobileJovian] That's sort of the exact definition of subjectivity
[Me-me] maybe for you it is
[MobileJovian] I see what you did there.
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#56967
<Psyfive> I call my penis Dick Cheney
<Psyfive> yesterday it shot someone in the face
#307592
<flotwig> non-computer people ask what you like to do
<flotwig> just say "oh, i'm in the php scene"
<flotwig> they'll think you're doing drugs or some shit
<arpad> "poor guy, he can't even spell pcp"