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#14968
<Icereaver> how do i go afk?
#27226
<Dilbert> i've got an idea that would help artists from having their music pirated
<Dilbert> instead of naming all their
<Dilbert> songs
<Dilbert> just give them a number
<Dilbert> like 1, 2, 3 so on
<Dilbert> and if everyone does that
<Dilbert> nobody online will be able to find the songs they are looking for
<Dilbert> or something
<Dilbert> i dont know
<Dilbert> forget i said anything
#797
<DarkSun> I ask for a n64 emu and a big nerd syz me go to http://www.emu's.shoved.up.my.arse.com
<DarkSun> Anyone have a good webpage with EMU????
#2558
<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is
#4899
<l0wkey> if i see something so fucking cute, like another rugrats movie or babe movie, im going on a spree
<sabbat> a killing spree i hope
<l0wkey> i was thinking along the lines of shopping spree, but suggestion noted
#11281
<Ouroboros> I think the downfall of the Roman Empire was caused by something similar to IRC.
<Ouroboros> The Roman equivilent of a lawless, perverted group of weirdos, if you will.
#23907
<mog> !8BALL WILL MARA KICK ME IN TWO SECONDS FOR ABUSING THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON?
<FarkStatsBot> mog: You may rely on it.
* mog was kicked by Mara (Caps abuse - 100%)
#309840
<Swob> there's a species of pea which has peapods that are 6 feet long
<RD> I wouldn't use that as a pickup line
#6755
<ODD> optimism is having a ups on a win95 box
#55113
<Ryken> Why doesn't EFnet have chanserv and nickserv?
<+iamben> we have /kick and /ban, thats good enough.
#73986
<&Cuntipede> I'm going back in time
<&Cuntipede> then I'm going to impregnate your mom
<&Cuntipede> you can call me daddy
<@ToeCutter> dad, can i have money?
<&Cuntipede> no, fuck you
#16858
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo
#4713
<DCBastard> hey i could get ven to install that saturn modchip that i got him to send me last year
<travolta> ven?
<travolta> who is ven?
<CraiZE> he means VeNoM
<DCBastard> see when you like someone you abreviate their name - that's why I always call you travolta
#309009
* Celti ambles off to locate comestibles.
<Godwinson> We've secretly replaced Celti's comestibles with combustibles, let's see if he notices!
<Godwinson> Does that mean that humans are powered by an internal comestion engine?
<Celti> Unlike an internal combustion engine, an internal comestion engine works better when you dump sugar into the gas tank.
#25178
(PowrSlave) how r things?
(DAMMiT_) good
(DAMMiT_) well
(DAMMiT_) except for the fact that my 88 GT just got blown away by a Beetle with
a license plate labeled "KIWI"
#32186
* %Mastas ::MP3:: Kill the Jews - Why Hilter was right! - The NeoNaziNationals :: To get say '!get'
<SGR> erm.. wtf?
<Mastas> what?
<Lokey> !get
* Mastas sets mode: +b *!*@*bb2.33f0f94f.rochester.rr.com
* Lokey was kicked by Mastas (Get out you racist fuck.)
<SGR> lol
<Mastas> pwned :D
#309377
<Zetetic> What's the extra four-digit code on my library card?
<Tonitrus> Missile access code
<Tonitrus> For emergencies
<Zetetic> Even our government isn't that stupid
* Zetetic hopes
<akkark> what does it read?
<Zetetic> Four digits
<Zetetic> I'd tell you, but I'm worried Tonitrus is right
<Zetetic> So I don't want to say it on a public channel
#44127
<ThreeWork> man I love the theoretical situations we propose around here
<ThreeWork> my boss proposes "You're coming into the parking lot and your
brakes fail. The AR lady (who's REALLY bitchy and pissed me
off my second day here) and the facilities lady (who's so
fucking mean she literally can't keep a facilities handyman
here more than 3 months) are crossing the parking lot. Which
one do you hit?"
<ThreeWork> So I think for a moment, then respond "I handbrake slide and
hit both of them."
#55507
<S> fnuh?
<S> a fly just flew into my monitor
<S> then instantly collapsed on my desk
<Markus> hehe
<Markus> maybe it has no depth perception and thought your background was real
<S> except you can't see my background for the masses of windows open
<S> besides that, it's just plain dark cyan
<Markus> could make a joke about flies flying into windows but that's too corny
#4151
<BucWork> dude; 2pac isn't dead
<BucWork> he is in Europe
<BucWork> my dad works for the fbi
#51081
<@jestuh> ahh huge paper due at 9am and haven't even opened word yet
<@DigDug> start -> run -> winword
<@DigDug> [ok]
<@jestuh> sweet phase 1 is complete!
#46698
-dmwaters- {global notice} Hi all.... erm, that netsplit was my fault.... I accidently killed the wrong process on the wrong box. I'm very very sorry for that... Thank you for your patience, and thank you for using freenode...
#2326
<rogue> I'm a flaming homosexual!
<rogue> I was out there being gay, and one of those radical right-wingers set me on fire!
#24572
<ShadowRage> I woke up this morning and thought I was a carrot :(
#301600
Ariel: i can't find my bball practice uniform
Ariel: he's gonna make me run all practice
Bryan: D:
Ariel: I checked the wardrobe, the laundry the closet and still can't find it
Bryan: check the bed!
Ariel: It wouldn't be there
Bryan: i once found a hammer in the fridge don't tell me you can't find clothes in a bed