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#29665
<danamania> my mother has picked up some anti MS sentiment from somewhere. we were driving today, and a fellow wandered out into the crossing. looked really confused, big glasses, a bit geeky, didn;t seem to know where he was going
<danamania> so she was like
<danamania> "look it's bill gates. should I run him over?"
#42253
<+turkey> all i do these days is stick my penis in my vcr, hoping that it'll give birth to a dvd player.
Comment: #maddox
#308130
<Adorable> On a scale of Helen Keller to Osama Bin Laden, how good is my hiding spot?
#3830
<ScumDog> the mom-look is sexy though
<ScumDog> don't take it wrong
<nitrifik> ScumDog: what weird fetish do you NOT possess dude?
#15690
<@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
<@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in the form of a rap
<@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
<@arfbot> while you rapped
<@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo
#61462
(@b) core, do you live in germany or austria
(+core) why do you ask?
(@b) I was wondering if my arm was rubber, how far it would need to stretch to punch you in the face
#7442
<F|uke> I like to have sex with Enya playing in the background
<F|uke> Enya doesnt mind it either.,....she just sits, watches and plays
#21733
<CommanderStab> <Poppins> lets vote on whether it should be a democracy or not
<CommanderStab> You DID realise how stupid that was before you said it, right? ^_-
#49822
-!- chimneysweep has joined #n
< chimneysweep> Evening.
< LittleViking> Afternoon.
< Blazeraid> Morning
< dr_tetris_PhD> Evening.
< Templex> Afternoon.
< LittleViking> Stupid timezones...
Comment: #n on mware
#301251
<timmo> anytime i yell at a woman and im really angry i think CUNT
<timmo> i only say it half the time though
<timmo> its like the a bomb of yelling at a woman
<snow_> i've had worse experiences calling a girl fat than a cunt
<timmo> how about you fat cunt
<snow_> haven't tried that one
<timmo> you know, cover your bases
<Alphamaze> In my experience, calling a girl a cunt will get her angry, while calling her fat will make her sad.
<Alphamaze> Calling her a fat cunt will result in a woman that is confused about her emotions.
Comment: EFnet #geekissues
#181
(topanga) I HATE HAVING COMPUTER DREAMS.
#35480
<Allahkat> I thought of the most awesome idea for me stretched ear lobes ever.
<Allahkat> I can get these steel plugs with a reb Abalone inlay, and I'm going to solder some beads around the edges so I CAN HAVE GOATSE EAR PLUGS
#143
<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up?
#61941
<cmdr_sm> should i add 10 years of missionairy work in africa to my cv? :)
<Nibbles> do it.
<Nibbles> I will add my idle rpg level to mine.
#13414
<CheesyPoofs> cheese is good
<CheesyPoofs> I mean "cheese is gouda"
<CheesyPoofs> actually that's not quite true - gouda is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> money is good
<CheesyPoofs> therefore, money is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> which is why it's so good
<sabia> okay whatever you say
<CheesyPoofs> I'm leaving out the technical details
#301594
<SEAL> You know how Toyota is having a ton of problems
<SEAL> With the accelerator pedals getting stuck at full throttle
<SEAL> Well, they really need to change their slogan
<SEAL> To something besides "Moving Forward"
<SEAL> The irony is astonishing
#11170
<niles> i just baught this kick ass afgan rug downtown
<niles> it has landmines, pistols and attack helicopters
#1341
<SPD-DMN> i wanna get a 6.5L turbo-diesel and like.. put it into a honda accord
<SPD-DMN> or is that.. put a honda accord into a 6.5L turbo-diesel?
#18766
<EmperorVlad[EE]> man skorp
<EmperorVlad[EE]> you know what
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you with a passion
<EmperorVlad[EE]> like that really evil kinda hate
<fragk> love-hate relationships are funny ;)
<EmperorVlad[EE]> where they guy is taking up both lanes
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and u just want to run him off the road
<EmperorVlad[EE]> into the little school children
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and like him flip over a canyon
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but not die
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but just lay there in pain
<EmperorVlad[EE]> for about a month or so
<EmperorVlad[EE]> cause i would shoot anyone that came near u to help
<EmperorVlad[EE]> yeah
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i love to hate skorp :)
<fragk> ...
<fragk> you may now kiss the bride
#3223
<[prefix]> hahahah
<[prefix]> I just read the funniest shit
<[prefix]> this guy's sister got her laptop stolen, so her brother broke into it and replaced the dialup phone number for the ISP to his phone #
<[prefix]> when the person dialed it up he had their name on the caller ID went over to their house, took it back, and kicked their ass
#51570
<fabz> I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on
<atsleek> lol
<Nefemus> what?
#45237
systm0verl0rd: i don't use 128bit encription, its unsecure. i use 127bit, so if anyone ever cracks it, my passwords will always be one character off.
storm-shadow: i hope to God you're joking.
#3222
<mxman> i think some people have non sensitive cocks
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> you know its bad when your hand goes numb while you're pouding it
#280368
greggacam|Farming: What's "user intelligence too low" mean?
#15572
<@:s4t4n> #christian can't join channel (channel is full)
<@:s4t4n> guess no one else is gettin into heaven!