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#15791
<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the keyboard on the way down.
#11141
<mjvh> stupid loose ethernet connection.
<Turbonutter> ducktape
<Turbonutter> ducktape is the answer to all life's problems
<Turbonutter> like beer. except ducktape rarely causes them in the first place.
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
<Turbonutter> it can do anything but is a pain in the arse to use?
#52978
CP8948: I am going to hurt myself jerking my bow like that...
Comment: she plays violin..
#45172
<Phlip> I'm not insensitive! I'm political-correctness-deprived!
#62094
Speckz: her orgasms sound like throwing a cardboard box into a fireplace
#142387
<Omen> GBLT = gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual
<glasnost> GLBT*
<glasnost> GBLT sounds like a sexual deviant sandwich
#160532
<+allie> I always let my son stay home whenever he wanted to, so he didn't have to ever try to fake an illness.
<+allie> He loved school. It was always a big social event for him.
<+allie> Whenever I had to go somewhere to pick him up from something, all I ever had to do was look for where the big crowd was because he'd always be in the center of it.
<+wrong> selling drugs?
#9670
<[ryan]> nah when i first saw porn of any kind i was like "man, that must get boring after a while"
<[ryan]> then i went back to programming heh
<shea_> when i first saw programming
<shea_> i was like
<shea_> "man, that must get boring after a while"\
<shea_> then i went back to porn
#7056
<Dracleath> You know, its disturbing how much the frosting for dominos cinnamon sticks looks like semen
#609
n e r d b 5: DUDE
n e r d b 5: shania twain is only 20 years older than me.... i might have a chance one day, since she isnt that much older than me
#34693
<Fragas> did u have fun at the deb party mr hinton?
<Hinton> yer
<Hinton> the afterparty was shit tho
<Hinton> a bunch of greasy wogs playing doof doof till 5am
<Fragas> lol.......maybe im naive, but whats doof doof?
<Hinton> techno
<Fragas> oh......ooooooooooh
<Fragas> i thought it was a sex game
#32730
<@Bringa> war3 is much more rewarding.. you need to actually MATCH UP against other real opponents
<@Bringa> you develop some sort of skill
<@Bringa> and measure it with other people
<@Bringa> whereas in Diablo2 it's like penis vs hand
< Nens> lol
<@Bringa> stroke stroke stroke click click oh look I came a Grandfather.
< Nens> multiplayer masterbation is good :p
<@Bringa> Great
<@Bringa> then you get together with others and compare cumstains.
< Nens> lol
<@Bringa> Yeah it's great and all at first
<@Bringa> novelty value
<@Bringa> but once the stink sets in...
#311421
<CaptainJistuce> I am still waging a linguistic battle against that use of the term fixed. Surely an animal works as intended before the procedure, which renders a major subsystem inoperational. They are broken afterwards.
#29666
<@kurteh> think i just downloaded a virus
<@kurteh> ;x
<@kurteh> need to check0r
<@kurteh> but i dont have virus scannor
<@kurteh> link me !
<@FrozenFood> www.goatse.cx/loopback.jpg
<@FrozenFood> omg, i typed that out..
<@FrozenFood> i know it off by heart
<@FrozenFood> :(
#306373
Judith: I sleep face down because my nose gets cold.
You: So you can't breathe, but at least your nose is warm.
Judtih: NO, it's like swimming. You tilt your head when you want to breathe.
#59559
<@kingrayray> i just vacuum sealed 1lb of tobacco into a brick
<@kingrayray> hahahaha
<@kingrayray> i want to kill someone with it
<@kingrayray> and then be like TOBACCO KILLS
#1586
<[D60]BIG_K> WHY IS CHANSERV IN EVERY FUCKING CHANNEL
#277
<Hatter> Sometimes hypr, I can hear the gears in your head grind to a halt
<hypr> haha
#57808
<flatface> I had a fucking HORRIBLE monitor for the longest time
<flatface> 14", tube was scratched, picture was fuzzy and fading, the plug was so loose I had to adjust it for 5 minutes every day, one side was partially discoloured, the "frame" was cracked, it was analog, it made a buzzing noise...
<flatface> was there anything else wrong with it, dex? I can't remember
<@robodex> no flat I think you covered it
<@robodex> but let's not forget pornmonitor
<@robodex> the one with boobies burnin
<flatface> That was a monitor I got used
<flatface> and returned in a day
<@robodex> yeah.
<@robodex> you bought a used monitor and it had porn burn in
<flatface> yeah
<flatface> that's after the death of my 14"
<@robodex> I woulda kept it tbh
<flatface> ha
<@robodex> it'd save me a lot of bandwidth :P
#7057
<Lazarus> Anyone care to guess my sign?
<DocWebstr> "Keep Off"?
<Lazarus> Wrong Way.
<Beki> this end up? :)
<K`shandra> "Thank You - Come Again." ;-)
#33235
<ogw-iii> where did I see this quote: "When all you have is a nail gun, every problem looks like a messiah."
<triple6> homedepot.com
#38415
<snottyboy> Mary's father has five daughters:
<snottyboy> 1. Nanna,
<snottyboy> 2. Nenne,
<snottyboy> 3. Ninni,
<snottyboy> 4. Nonno.
<snottyboy> 5. ??????
<snottyboy> What is the name of the fifth daughter?
<Dragon> Nunnu
<snottyboy> Nunnu? NO! Of course not. Her name was Mary
<snottyboy> read up
<snottyboy> :P~
#19762
<TantricJediSquizzle> Everyone wants me.
<Mal-23> You don't want you.
<TantricJediSquizzle> Prove it.
<Mal-23> Look at your cock.
<TantricJediSquizzle> Way ahead of you.
<Mal-23> Good, can you fit your mouth around it?
<TantricJediSquizzle> Yes.
<Mal-23> Then there you have it. You don't -want- you. You -have- you. Case dismissed.
#8993
<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!
#87350
Dexi: I found this auction on eBay...
Dexi: "Learn how to earn over $500 a day with this system!"
Dexi: Starting bid: $557.00
Grim: ...lmao
Dexi: I think might know what the system is... ;)