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#32280
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins
#301628
<pnbeast> How do you feel about neural networks, HappyHobo?
<HappyHobo> Is that like Amway?
<pnbeast> It's almost exactly not like Amway, HappyHobo.
#1289
<Wazm> I spent the entire day being normal, now that I'm home, I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners to my head, turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.
#302537
<sshinji> I've discovered that explaining hexadecimal across the table is a very efficient way to lose your date.
#61592
<Khaos> Ok, so I was on a long, boring flight on sunday, ok?
<Khaos> the old lady sitting next to me was joking with the flight attendant, so when the attendant came to get our snack orders, the lady says, "Well, I'd have a nice sirloin."
<Khaos> The flight attendant played along, asking how she wanted that cooked.
<Khaos> As they were talking, I swear that the first thought that popped into my head was "Steak on a plane!"
<Khaos> I actually said this out loud. So now, I have a bruise on my arm from where the guy in the window seat hit me.
#60481
<Tycho> This game has RABID NERDS. SCARY!
<Rickton> heh
<Rickton> The Nerd's attack should be something like
<Rickton> "He engages you in a discussion about the relative merits of Star Trek and Star Wars."
<Rickton> "Your brain bleeds."
Comment: #xenos on irc.uplinklabs.net
#70701
<rm-rf> !8 die of starvation or eat lunch
<Willow> rm-rf: die of starvation
<rm-rf> damn
#61935
<IdleRPGbot>demonx: LEVEL UP! You are now on level 100.
<demonx> YES YES HELL YES FINNALY I'M LEVEL 100!!!
demonx was penalized 6w 2d 1h 43s for talking. You now have 12w 13s until level 101.
<demonx> FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT
demonx was penalized 6w 2d 43s for taling. You know have 24w 4d 2h 56s until level 101.
<demonx> DAMMIT!!!
Comment: #IdleRPG
#37066
<eLe> The Unix Guru's view of sex:
<eLe> unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; umount; sleep;
Comment: #blizzhackers on irc.digitaltoxicity.net
#305552
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#26314
<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason
#42051
< joshk> i met some dude at a Debian dinner
< joshk> his girlfriend was like
< joshk> COLOSSAL
< joshk> and was about a foot taller than him
< koitsu> she was the size of a redhat distribution.
#28462
<avarrin> sup manda
<avarrin> :)
<ShexyBish> hey you..
<ShexyBish> nada
<ShexyBish> bored as fucjk
<ShexyBish> er
<ShexyBish> ruck
<ShexyBish> danm
<avarrin> haha
<ShexyBish> fuck
<hippyjoe> see
<hippyjoe> women and computers...
<ShexyBish> i havent even started drinking yet
#26340
<+Camus> im palazed!
<+Fleebis> Palazed?
<+Fleebis> Paralyzed?
<+Camus> yea
<+Camus> close
<+Camus> kinda
<+Camus> i just type in the first letter
<+Camus> and hit a couple keys
<+Fleebis> oh, i underktnjd
#4748
<watchy_> i'm so fat
<watchy_> i forgot where my leg was
#48330
<HonkyKong> It's like people realize that if they stop buying their shitty products, Sony might actually get some QA, but folks just don't care.
<brakk3n> i knew when buying it if it had the words "sony" on it
<brakk3n> it would be a POS
<HonkyKong> It's like an entire generation that's been dropped on their heads one too many times.
<HonkyKong> I mean sure, my brother owns a PS2 and likes it.
<HonkyKong> But he also used to eat lead paint.
<brakk3n> i've owned 10 ps2's
<brakk3n> if that tells anything
<HonkyKong> You drank from the bucket?
#297803
<DevXen> they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
#16291
<Zimbu> i was just using common sense, sorry
<Gimik\HMWRK> Zimbu: try to use something you have next time ;)
#66618
<TheWickerMan> Please learn to read.
<TheWickerMan> Before you call anyone else a moron.
<RobotG> im not a moren
<RobotG> mrono
<RobotG> mrone
<RobotG> monor
<RobotG> mrnor
<RobotG> wops
<TheWickerMan> swing and a miss.
#2018
<MadHatter> I wish I could get a job as a stunt penis
<MadHatter> like for porno movies
<MadHatter> I don't look like a pornstar(not that I'm ugly, I just don't have that look), but I have a porno penis
#55760
<CtrlAltDestroy> Last week, I was working at Steak 'n Shake
<CtrlAltDestroy> We had a water main break outside, so they shut off the water to our store
<CtrlAltDestroy> We had to shut down the dining room because of a health code
<CtrlAltDestroy> Anyway, during that time, we got a prank call.
<CtrlAltDestroy> This dude calls up and he's like "Hey guys! Is your fountain running?!"
<CtrlAltDestroy> Of course, I had to say "Not right now, we don't have water because of a main break."
<CtrlAltDestroy> Then he just goes "Oh..." *Click*
#30151
<@|101|> I got so confused the first time someone said they had a pot plant. I'm like "cool, what's in it?" and they said " It's a pot plant dude", "Yeah I know, what type of plant", "a POT plant", "Are we missing something"
#15822
<evilpie> P.S. oblique, since both you and your girlfriend live with your parents, how in the fuck do you manage to bang her?
<jre> It wasn't so much of a bang as a dull thud."
#16991
<jim_the_hat> without programmers you would not be able to chat on irc 15 hours a day ally^ :P
<ally^> i know
<ally^> i could be doing something else
<ally^> like sucking dick
#7888
<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/