Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#305505
* Now talking on #shakesoda
<Karai> I need to stop having very sexual dreams about my sister.
<LHoT10820> ...
<LHoT10820> What an awesome thing to walk in on.
<LHoT10820> Tell me more, Karai.
<Karai> rofl
<Karai> I had a dream last night
<Karai> that I found a new way to make music
<Karai> by using a glass soda bottle stuffed in her whowho to control airflow or some shit
<Karai> it was WEIRD AS FUCK
<Karai> I seriously woke up with the :| face
Comment: #shakesoda on Freenode
#916
<cactor> I'm gonna put some oragel on my dick and stick it in some bitches mouth
<|Chris> what are you gonna do when she bites your dick off
<|Chris> cause she can't feel her mouth
<cactor> uh I dunno
<cactor> smack her probably
#301418
<VoxPVoxD> I see a half dollar coin every once in a while
<VoxPVoxD> I think it's jfk on them
<VoxPVoxD> which is a wasted opportunity
<VoxPVoxD> we had a great reason to finally have one of those cool coins with a hole in it
#7026
<ori0n> why did you name yourself after a video file?
<zorack> hehe
<avi-> because i'm long hardcore and take forever to download
#294828
<PurityOfEssence> I was at the gym, and I was looking at the distance left: 1km, 500m, 250m, 125m ..
<PurityOfEssence> this is how all mathmo's nightmares go
<PurityOfEssence> a fear of infinite sums diverging
<PurityOfEssence> you'll never get there, just keep getting half way closer
<PurityOfEssence> damn zeno
#34068
<IceWizard> hmmm
<IceWizard> i cant figure out this..
<IceWizard> im supposed to set my clocks back 1 hour
<IceWizard> so how can I make my vcr start flashing 11:00 instead of 12:00?
#6558
<zhixel> I'm starting to think I drive too fast.
<felix> nothing wrong with 80mhz.
<felix> unless a highway patrol officer tells you otherwise.
<felix> like one did to me today.
<zhixel> I'm sorry felix, my car isn't a 486.
<barkode> got a ticket?
<felix> i got a speeding ticket going work
<barkode> "sorry officer, i had my soda on the turbo button"
<felix> zhixel: fuck off. 80mph, too
#4198
<RevQuixo> i want a mario game where you do actual plumbing
<RevQuixo> oh, did i mention i was gay?
#6714
<_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front of someones nick?
<thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel operators.. Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad wanker who spends his life on irc, has no real friends, and prefers to chat on here than in a pub?
#60282
Kodan882: Once a long time ago, I was listening to a talk radio show.
Kodan882: THey werre talking about motorcycles, and a guy called in and screamed "PENIS!" and then hung up.
DragonOfLight121: ...
DragonOfLight121: LOL
Kodan882: The guys at the station were silent
Kodan882: Though, you could hear laughter in the background
DragonOfLight121: xD
#56721
<Timmaw> i remember one time when i was little i was camping with my grandma and grandpa. i go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and i put some toothpaste on my brush
<Timmaw> it looks light pink but the toothpaste was cinnamon flavor so i didn't think anything of it
<Timmaw> i bite down on the toothbrush so i can undo my pants and sit down on the toilet. i grip the toothbrush and it won't budge!
<Timmaw> i'm freaking out because my toothbrush is fused to my teeth and my grandpa gets a flashlight and looks at it and starts cracking up
<Timmaw> my grandma gets snoody because it's not a very amusing situation. my grandpa looks at both of us and says "tim you were trying to brush your teeth with polident."
#16963
<Evilmonkey> I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS MY MOM NOT MY DAD..
<Evilmonkey> i wouldnt dream about my dad.. im not gay.. er.. shit.
#66
<noppa> weed: (dont inhale and you will become the next president!!!!!)
#244345
SeanieG123: so we have to make this cartoon thing for Oedipus in english right?
SeanieG123: i'm trying to decide if a "mommy and me" photo album would be crossing a line
#19054
in #teen
[itstomEK] 20-m-melb.pix msg me for a chat 8)
[DiZ] 20 omg , ure ot a a teren
[DiZ] banz0r him
[Jon-] i would, but i'm still trying to decipher what you just said
#309185
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up. i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
#33392
< neotiger> it leads me to believe that IE is more fucked than the average japanese schoolgirl when in close proximity to an octopus
#43365
<Aelia> and he had like 200 GB of hentai -_-
* Smile checks how much he has.
<Ceras> good old hentai
<Smile> 300mb.
<Smile> -.-' no telling Juney.
* Smile holds a knife to everyone.
<Ceras> omg...what a loser....
<sp3tt> Smile... ever heard of bash.org?
<Smile> Yes.
<Smile> OH SHIT
#23809
<Linds> So how old are you pple
<sh-> i'm 52
<Linkadmin> I'm 12
<Linkadmin> (soon)
<sh-> and we're in love and there's nothing wrong with it
#229818
<chicane> Sex And The City EXTENDED DVDRip XviD-BeStDivX
<chicane> sigh
<chicane> another release
<Atrius> I already thought that sarah jessica parker's nose was extended enough
#18681
<xxFrogxx> Today when I was at the gym, I caught this dood checking out my weiner.
<Spazmatic> Did you like it?
<xxFrogxx> It was like, I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
<OriginalWheat> Yeap, youre gay
#2167
*** Topic in #cars is 'saab's look like confused suitcases with wheels'
#44392
Darika Senokah: HEY WILL
Darika Senokah: GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS :D
KUSWIL: MAY 7TH!? D:
Darika Senokah: xD
Darika Senokah: Yes but
Darika Senokah: It is also
Darika Senokah: NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY :D
KUSWIL: ...
KUSWIL: Interesting. :o Just before Mother's Day.
KUSWIL: Think about that for a minu- NO ON SECOND THOUGHT DON'T. XD;;;
Darika Senokah: XDDDDD!!!
Darika Senokah: Omg, you are a HORRIBLE person.
KUSWIL: You're just realizing this? :D
Comment: May 7th is National Masturbation Day!
#2351
<Horizon> Harhar! I get a paper that says "Congradulations, you are less of an idiot now."
<Morbii> does it have a small "but you're still canadian" attached to an asterisk or something too?
<Morbii> :P
#306448
<LordFrith> If you need floating point math in your script, you need to begin writing in a complete language.
<grawity> Speaking of which. Is it bad when half of my script is bash, the other half is Perl?
<lautriv> grawity, as long as the third half is NOT VB, it's ok.
<grawity> Halves usually come in pairs of two.
<LordFrith> Someone programming in VB might not realize that.