Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#26219
<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.
#55633
<@DarkElf> hell of a way to spend valentines day, watching a girl having an orgasm while learning to ride a horse (no, its not farm erotica) and doing statistics
<@DarkElf> can you tell i need a girlfriend
<@momo_the_terrible> that's a neat trick
<@momo_the_terrible> simultaneously watching a girl have an orgasm and studying stats
<@momo_the_terrible> wish I had that talent back in school :)
<@DarkElf> multitasking is great nowadays
Comment: irc.bunker7.net
#301708
<DrCoconut> my toaster seems to have 2 settings
<DrCoconut> bread
<DrCoconut> and charcoal
#32144
<flamingboard>photochop submission http://elwood.longlines.com/~soucada/myko.jpg
<BalefireX>why do you have pictures of dildos on your computer
<flamingboard>it was from a joke for my dorm house
<BalefireX>you seem to have spent a lot of time on that
<flamingboard>not really, 5 minutes in PSP8
<flamingboard>i just made the front of his hand a new layer and put the dildo behind it. then i added some little ones to the box
<BalefireX>you put dildo on the box too.
<flamingboard>oh yeah. i just used a clone brush to erase the mac and put in a vector of dildos.
<BalefireX>you have a vector of dildos?
<flamingboard>yes
Comment: irc.gideontech.com
#27776
<Silne30> time for my 8 minute abs workout
<~EventHorizon> 8 minute abs work out?
<Silne30> yeah
<~EventHorizon> what are you, a fucking old ladie?
<~EventHorizon> *lady
<Silne30> naw im a guy with a guy
<@crazycheetah> ...
<Tumbleweed> .....
<Silne30> gut*
#111114
<Trinexx> So, we were all sitting around, trying to decide who would cook tonight.
<Trinexx> Someone got the wonderful idea of making ME cook, despite the fact that I once caught ramen noodles on fire. I, of course, told them it was a bad idea. They didn't believe me. Gave me a recipe and very precise directions. I finally agreed to do it, but only if they understood that they eat at their own risk.
<Trinexx> So yeah, we've all got food poisoning now.
#44984
auslander: i think we can all agree I'm the smartest one here
megaL: your IQ is like 1. im a million time smarter
s1r: a million times 1 is still one, asshole
#299753
<Reilithion> If yhou make a typo, like I just did, it's because somewhere on the net, someone else also made a typo of the opposite nature. In this case, somebody is missing an 'h' somewhere in one of their messages.
<bomb> wow, tat's an interesting theory
#88844
<Slowking_Man> Ugh, I'm dealing with a site that apparently uses javascript to load flash to load WMV files
<Slowking_Man> It's like something out of Richard Stallman's nightmares
Comment: #defocus@irc.freenode.net
#5276
<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows
#47457
<d0ppy> I just had an idea
<d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom....
<cdkj> :/
<d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese
<cdkj> get a girlfriend please
#247654
<joseph321> hey guys can i ask a question?
<Stueh> Shoot
<joseph321> my girlfriend hasnt had her period in like 4 months do you think somethings wrong?
<Stueh> Erm ... you sure she's not pregnant?
<joseph321> yeah shes 4 months pregnant
<DanceNigga|Work> You can't be serious
<Stueh> Kid, it's not too late for an abortion, you know that right?
#49854
<circusbred> my first time was horrible
<MK|AmericanRetard> lol
<Athlete> my first time was with a bitch of a tease and now i wish i hadn't
<circusbred> i wouldn't wish that on the 'right girl'
<MK|AmericanRetard> ROFL
<Athlete> cus we fucked for like 15 mintues and just as it were getting good
<Athlete> she stopped and started laughing
<MK|AmericanRetard> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<circusbred> ohhh
<Athlete> fuckin bitch
#980
<SYch0> ok
<SYch0> a word of warning:
<SYch0> never try to masturbate with a bandaid on
<SYch0> :(
<SYch0> cuz you might as well take a belt sander to your dick
<blazemore> what the fuck, sych0
<SYch0> :D
#3662
<metroid23> all those dumb bots. they all sit around and make each other feel comfortable by confirming each others' decisions. it's like a big self-help group!
#9360
<[DeViL]Hawk> dammit u sothern punk my mums rich i looked at the price list
<FanBoy|Away> er? your mum is on a price list...figures
#86255
*** Saul has joined #general
<Saul> Man, today was awesome.
<Saul> We all got sent home like 5 hours early because the whole system shorted out and went down.
<kilik> explain.
<Saul> Well, in our office, the doors are always left open because the air con doesnt work.
<Saul> And as a result flies come in from outside.
<Saul> Last year we got some of those electric fly killers installed, you know the ones that glow blue and zap the flies that fly into them?
<Saul> Well today I'm at the watercooler taking a 5-min break.
<Saul> And I swear to God, the biggest bluebottle on the face of the Earth buzzes in.
<Saul> It's like 3 inches long.
<Saul> Goes straight for the zapper and flies into it.
<Saul> The explosion knocked out the power to the entire floor.
#5729
<Lord-Data> god damn faggot game
<Lord-Data> why the fuck would i wanna pick up a corpse when im on 10% health, theres a minigun in front of me and im under fire
<Lord-Data> when i push use i wanna use the god damn gun, not fuck the damn corpse
#308362
<Pryoidain> Finally developed a working method for discovering if it's going to be a good day or a bad day.
<asaph> Do tell?
<Pryoidain> So I sleep RIGHT NEXT to my phone. Like it's two inches from my face if shit blows up at 3AM because waking me requires an atomic attack.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, first thing I do every morning, even before glasses, is grab it, hit the screen button, and see if there are any alerts.
<asaph> right.
<Pryoidain> My background now has 2+2=? on it. If at any point between the first pressing of the screen button and managing to reach the pot of coffee i think "22" then I immediately go the fuck back to bed.
#5741
(nexxai) chali: can I flood your port? maybe brute force my worm through your backdoor....sniff some packets perhaps?
#325
*** Signoff: meredith- (Random number generation is too important to be left to chance)
#49634
<Art_Vandelay> my sexuality should not be in question
<Art_Vandelay> I think you know which way I swing
<Art_Vandelay> -->
<KP> yeah, it's fairly obvious
<KP> i see you're pointing toward the userlist
<KP> composed entirely of males
#39481
<fino> uh.. my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner today
<fino> i think that means "clean your flat, there are god damn dust bunnies everywhere"
<oLol> nah she prolly wants you to use it for masturbation purposes
#29314
<T|Vegi> is iga here?
<T|Vegi> where are you igaaaaa
<Aurielle> Call him a leprechaun.
<Aurielle> He'll show up.
<Aurielle> LEPRECHAUN
<iga-shadow> hi
<iga-shadow> oh poo
<GodOfWonders> IT WORKED!
#49574
scythen32: i've messed around with truly skinny chicks before
scythen32: it's just weird
scythen32: like instead of love handles
scythen32: they have notched ribs for superior grip