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#51456
< BernardBlack> i just thought of something
< BernardBlack> do midget bakers bake shortbread?
Comment: #otw on freenode
#141960
<Blipo> I'm trying to sell a 1GB DDR-667 RAM chip over Craigslist
<Blipo> So far two people have contacted me thinking I was talking about a mod for the DDR game
#54235
<@Styx> it hurt like a bitch, but apparently my pubic hair is stronger than duct tape
Comment: #bored
#47456
< teferi> I lost the office pool
< teferi> damn
<+res0> aww, no more swimming at work
#128043
<AtropaBelladonna> some girl (shes like a bit older than me) calls up every year like cockwork "had another kid. more money"
<daffodil> HAHAHAHAHA
<Valtieri> Cockwork alright
<AtropaBelladonna> best typo ever!
#253988
<Fox> oh yeah, mr little brother got in trouble at his college today, it was pretty funny
<Fox> the first day of a huge lab class and the teacher was trying to introduce himself and be friendly with everyone, and asked "Are there any stories you'd like me to tell about myself?"
<Fox> and my brother wasn't paying attention and half asleep so he said out loud what he was thinking at the time, what he meant to say to himself as a joke
<Fox> "Tell us about the first time you masturbated"
<Fox> he said the teacher turned bleach white, and the girls in the class turned red, the rest were laughing
#28375
<skore> "He said on IRC that he has some drugs, go and get him"
<Huppumies> "Where's he at?"
<Huppumies> "Um... in IRC..."
<skore> "On #reggae"
#245406
<gabe> mozilla and this java chat seem to hate each other
<gabe> maybe it will be better on IE
<gabe> fingers crossed
<Xyzyxx> gabe, you should download a real IRC client
<gabe> yeah. and get a virus? no thanks
<Xyzyxx> irc clients don't usually come with viruses :P
<gabe> zonealarm would beg to differ
#104061
* Blacken sets mode: +m
<Blacken> Announcement:
<Blacken> By GOD, I fucking hate furfags.
* Blacken sets mode: -m
* Blacken has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<Willfor> Apparently the reason he hates them is because they chewed through his internet wires
#29554
(@Kenni) LOL DRA
(@Kenni) ffs
(@Kenni) you just made me fart in front of my girl
(@Kenni) I was laughing so hard, I couldnt keep it in
(@Kenni) and I was standing crouched on the floor
(@Kenni) and now she got all mad
(@Kenni) and told me I am gross
(@Kenni) :(
(@Kenni) Now she also said no sex
#301632
< Jeros> im off to a wild cocaine fuelled sex party with supermodels tonight
< Jeros> ......actully im installing ubuntu but shits the same
< xoebus> both times you wake up trying to remember where your night has gone and vowing that you will never do it again?
#4247
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
#3160
<Spin0ut> devvie: Hey, it may be short, but it sure is skinny
#16913
<Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
<Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
<Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
<todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
<Stemish> well, that too
#3876
<Infe> damn, i hate buying a computer part, you always see a better deal the next day
<AlmtyBob> not me
<ryo-ohki> Just steal stuff, and you won't have that problem.
<Infe> but then they buy something newer and better to replace what you stole
<Infe> and you have to steal again!
#28754
<kewsh> brb concluding my shower
<Drageon> you jumped out of the shower to irc?
<Drageon> dork
<loaded`> yeah wtf
<loaded`> who takes half a shower
<@Al`> dood had 'shower intermission'
<@Al`> 'i better check irc'
#33839
<motolov> i actually have shat in a urinal once
<motolov> when i was 10 we went to germany and the toilets you had to pay for at a rest stop, but the urinals were free of charge, i could not wait to go back to the car for deutchmarks
#53602
<DJ_Yami> I don't have any friends in this neighborhood yet
<aoshi> How long have you lived there?
<DJ_Yami> 6 months
#144222
<tarepanda> My parents lived in a village called Scotland.
<tarepanda> So they named me... Scott.
<tarepanda> I endured so much teasing for so many years.
<tarepanda> Scott from Scotland went to Scotland Elementary... and our mascot was the Scotland Scottie.
<LightFang> did you let them get off...scot-free?
#22015
<Friday> I did a science experiment on magnets and I cited MM3 for examples. I got First Place. I shit you not.
<McDohl> What did you do, take the game in there and go. "See how Megaman flies up like that? Megaman is metal, therefore he is attracted by the magnet robots!"
<Friday> Pretty much.
<Friday> I had screenshots.
#57852
<werro> damnit :/
<werro> my dad found my porn
<Bob112> So what? I bet my dad knows I have porn.
<werro> but my dad didnt know Im gay :/
<Bob112> Um, like, neither did I
#5727
<BloodAngel> I was just trying to find something in my pants pocket- but I didn't know what.
<BloodAngel> [don't start, don't _even_ start!]
<BloodAngel> And then I realized what I was looking for...
<BloodAngel> And proved I'm dumb. :)
<BloodAngel> 'cuz I was trying to find the 2-Litre of Mountain Dew that I set down.
#302725
<Crenomaster> I'm bored.
<Crenomaster> I think I'll count how many corners does a circle have.
<psy_wombats> Depends on your monitor resolution
#24127
<Shadow> "Look! Up in the sky! Floating ejaculate!"
<Shadow> "Those are clouds, moron."
#15840
<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.