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#5777
<prym> little did i know later in my life id come to terms with things like
31337, 69, and 187
#63876
<steve> I just jumped over the coffee table in the living room into a roll because I thought there was no one there but my dad was in the kitchen and he was like wtf are you doing you idiot
#29301
<Dilbert|AFK> my homopage is www.fark.com
<Dilbert|AFK> ...
<Dilbert|AFK> and thats my homepage too
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#27872
<uTi|Veridian> my HLTV tops out at about 30 people - then lags like your mom
<cyde> so tell me... if i used my mom in conjunction with your server... could we top 60?
<uTi|Veridian> can your mom handle 30 teenage boys?
<cyde> the question is....can 30 teenage boys....handle my mom?
#297876
<@Sebas> The only reason the French started a civil war was so that they could win for once
#59757
<MadSkz> Row, row, row your boat
<MadSkz> Cuban refugees
<MadSkz> If you row fast enough
<MadSkz> You will reach the Keys.
#910
<Kury^> the other day i found out that my Uni's fire evacuation policy for ppl with wheelchairs is to 'push them into a room, close the door, escape and then give the room number to the firemen'
#296709
<Nab> Primo
<Nab> I'm 6'1
<Nab> And 245
<Nab> How do you think I feel
<Nab> >_>
<cheese> you probably feel like eating some cake
#5874
<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's performance accordingly
#308166
<macduff> I bought Jake and his wife a fuck swing for their wedding present.
<h00k> How thoughtful.
<macduff> He claims they don't use it, but I've been to their house and in the corner of the bedroom there's a fern hanging from a suspiciously large eye bolt.
#28983
<germany> is it true that every girl and boy in france has to learn how to sew a white flag when they're in school?
#295382
<Fualkner> You know, Carry on Wayward Son is one huge innuendo.
<Fualkner> "Carry on wayward son / there'll be peace when you are done"
<Fualkner> "Carry on, nothing equals the splendor"
<Fualkner> Kansas is apparently made up of chronic masturbators
<Pingly> Stop.
<Pingly> STOP.
<jabbers> You just fucking ruined that song for me.
#20193
«@hyu» i need an 800 by 600 jesus wallpaper
«@SkywardShadow» Type it into google. ;P
«@hyu» i am
«@hyu» google's being nasty
«@hyu» oooh, got a purdy one
«@hyu» and it's password protected
«@hyu» wtf
«@Vormav» haha
«@hyu» who password protects bible pictures?
«@Vormav» ACCESS TO JESUS DENIED
#17288
<rooster> i think it's sad when a family is torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs
#23831
<|404notfound> Kazaa is like playing Russian roulette, only with porn instead of bullets.
#51220
Zorro: what do I do if someone wants to Cyber me but there are people around?
Null: Never ask that again.
#22078
<ElDuderino> I heard having sex with women made you gay
<Shai-Gar> is that why youve never tried it mark?
#18429
<hadeZ> you live on your own right?
...
<hadeZ> but basically you pay with yourself
<hadeZ> for yourself rather
<Fembot> you said PAY, right?
#235252
<@`Ace> grrrr, flippin linux aint suposed to crash :(
<@LexMortis> Myth.... BUSTED!
#13916
*** tate|work is now known as tate
<chaoticset_Perling> Hey tate
<tate> yo, chaotic
<tate> I just did two of the dumbest things possible
<chaoticset_Perling> ...first?
<tate> the first was staying up all night as part of a plan to attempt to reset my internal clock
<chaoticset_Perling> ...and the second?
<tate> the second was laying down in bed two hours before work thinking I could catch just one hour of sleep
<chaoticset_Perling> LOL!
#28673
<cae> i wonder what sales calls will be like with video phones
<DarthBong> at least then you'll be able to flip them off
<DarthBong> or hang up a porn picture over the camera
<cae> hehe...print out goatse.cx pictures and flash them to unsuspecting sales people
<DarthBong> hehe
<keetz> hahaha
<DarthBong> "hang on a sec, i can't remember where I left my credit card.... Oh, i left it in.. (goatse.cx guy) HERE"
#300788
* Now talking in #coding
<ih8censorship> so want to hear about how I got a date?
<ih8censorship> with a girl?
<Dr_BadSpoon> express it in C++
<ih8censorship> hm
<ih8censorship> class girl{
<ih8censorship> public:
<ih8censorship> void Computerbroken(){Goondatewithgeek();}
<ih8censorship> };
<ih8censorship> girl Erika;
<ih8censorship> Erika.Computerbroken();
<ih8censorship> Ih8censorship.mood("^_^");
#308958
07:07 <henrikhodne> grawity: I thought you went to sleep./
07:07 * henrikhodne is seriously stalking too much.
08:05 <grawity> henrikhodne: I did, why?
08:11 <grawity> henrikhodne: ...how did you even know I'm awake
08:13 <henrikhodne> grawity: Someone from Lithuania visited my blog. I assumed it was you.
08:14 <grawity> ._.
#50571
<GenericLoser> We recieved our Red Ribbon Week wristbands yesterday.
<GenericLoser> (Red Ribbon Week has long past.)
<GenericLoser> Our instructor said, "You should probably wear these anyway."
<GenericLoser> Making a joke, I replied, "Yeah, just because Red Ribbon Weeks is over, that doesn't mean you can start doing drugs again."
<GenericLoser> And our instructor replies, very serious, "Yeah, my goal is to stay off for a month."
#309905
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "No One Cares. At All CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on