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#52807
(@K) patches to 1.1
(TurboDttL) I'm a pirate so I use iPatches
#51625
<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell
#16374
(debaser) i bought a mouse today
(debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
(debaser) i got a neutered mouse.
#426
<ck10k> is there any site where you can dig up data on someone if you have their social security number?
<lux> hahah
<ck10k> damnit. the information age my ass
#52274
<molo> everything ignus says on join is awkward
<molo> i don't think it has ever been normal
<molo> like
<molo> hi
<molo> or
<molo> sup
<molo> it's always 'my parents just remarried' or 'i dream about sex with my sister'
#7547
[Izazael] when ryll dies, we should cremate him and put his ashes in a coffee filter
[Izazael] mmm nescafe goth blend
#300960
Also, I came up with the best Metal band name ever
Are you ready?
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
That’s it! Parenthesis, seeking female keyboardist, exclamation point, end-parenthesis. That way, every flyer for your show, you’d make whatever band was above you on the flyer seem like total posers.: Imagine the following on a telephone pole near you:
**************************
12/06 at The Pound, all ages:
BIOHAZARD
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
DISCONFORMITY
************************
or:
***********************
12/19 at CBGBs:
SLAYER
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
NILE
DEATHCOOCH DEBACLE
SOCIOPATHIC REMRANT
***********************
#51058
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk
#7173
<Ice|P> blow jobs r better
<mk4> why because you get a load in the mouth
<nim-zero> a load in the mouth is worth two in the hand
#8278
<the__man> does anyone know if any brothel is open at this hour? i need some action right away
<+Octane> the__man: you've been blessed with two hands and ten fingers. go figure it out.
#9906
<rworks> But seriously, I wish Steve Jobs would accidentally drag himself to the trash can.
#187
*** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA'
#147598
<Smokey> there's a pizza hut down the street from here, but it's across state border so they won't deliver it
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
#50258
Clint: Did you hear that the police station got broken in to?
Clint: The thieves stole all the toilets!
Mikey_B: Yeah, I heard that at the moment the policemen have nothing to go on.
#31822
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools
<@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store
<@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc)
<evolsoulx> mmhmm
<@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them
<@SLing> so
<@SLing> I stood there
<@SLing> for five minutes
<@SLing> knocking on melons
<@SLing> people started looking at me strange
<evolsoulx> lol
<@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to"
<Erik> lol
<@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh"
<@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore
#30522
<BusyChild> i hate it when youre just flirting with a girl and you poke her on accident
#35801
<Tres|Status> eh, i can't find a job because i spend too much time reading bash.org
#16575
<oreth> ever thing to yourself "Hey, it might be fun to go fuck a turkey?"
<AshPlississkin> no
<oreth> yeah. me neither.
#36160
<scorf> enormous penises have bigger holes, allowing for a greater number of demons to gain entrance, which is why black men commit so much crime
<rpop> demons enter through the penis!?
<scorf> it would appear so, from this thing I read on the internet which is true!
<rpop> not even 7 am and I've been enlightened already!
#36265
<tobaki> haha, my mom was listening to the new lenny kravitz album and she was like "wow, lenny sure sounds angry"
<tobaki> then he started getting violent and my mom was like "oh my god!"
<tobaki> then she took the cd out of the player and saw that it was my brothers "distUrbed" album
<tobaki> the sad part is it took her 8 songs to realize something was wrong
#6518
<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door
<QJ> while you were wanking?
<knox> yep
<knox> it was worse than that
<QJ> she finished you off?
#8735
<arfmcbarf> i'm gonna teach you a lesson you wont soon forget
<arfmcbarf> i.e., how to integrate ln x from 0 to infinity
<arfmcbarf> first you get the antiderivitive
<arfmcbarf> of ln(x)
<arfmcbarf> i.e., 1/x
<arfmcbarf> then i forget the rest
#1670
<kisama> just leave clues as to your modem
<kisama> motive*
#306225
<TParadox> January 20th, 2008: President Bush approaches the helicopter waiting to carry him away from the White House for the last time, turns to the crowd and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... The Aristocrats!"
#18365
* gibb blinks
* jitspoe winks ;)
* gibb sinks :o
* jitspoe thinks
* Murdock stinks.
<Murdock> doh!