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#7229
asjk] !list
[asjk] anyone know a good open ftp?
[ck1] 127.0.0.1
[asjk] need a userid/pw
[ck1]anonymous
[bluerose] oh come on give him the good account
[ck1] :)
[bluerose] l: hax0r
[bluerose] p: 31337
[asjk] thx
#181249
<delfin> I would play a lot more online multiplayer games if I didn't have to play with other people.
#6054
<kingmob> someone broke into our apartment once
<kingmob> he didn't take anything
<kingmob> he left a ten dollar bill
<Guyver3> did he leave money?
<Guyver3> hahahaha
<kingmob> i am *so* not shitting
<kingmob> that ruined my whole week
<kingmob> plus, my dipshit roommate spent the ten bucks
#1016
~ _raven is Away. [Reason: out. like a boner in sweat pants.]
#190128
<steven> Ahruman: brainfuck is as esoteric as i have gotten
<steven> i wrote a speech synthesizer in brainfuck once
<steven> it worked better than Alex... but i lost the code one day
<astrange> you wrote a speech synthesizer in 8-bit fixed-point?
<Ahruman> I wrote a fish in BASIC one, and it was ___this big___, but it got away.
Comment: #ubuntu
#7134
<Grant|BnW> Have you seen what happens if you give the mariners a sheep?
<CrashCat> lots of uses
<Grant|BnW> "A sheep. Lovely! Sheep have many uses, and the voyage is long."
<CrashCat> try giving them a woman
<Grant|BnW> What do they say?
<Grant|BnW> I'm trying to be nice now, so I don't want to if they'll rape or eat her.
<Grant|BnW> I wouldn't put anything past fucking accordian players.
#5468
<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
#40381
<squeakymewmew> We lost power last night. A transformer exploded in the parking lot.
<PartiallyClips> Autobot or Decepticon?
Comment: AIM convo
#296967
<Pryoidain> The higher the IQ of the individual...
<Pryoidain> The more they enjoy watching a robot drive into a wall at top speed.
#17249
<NickBlasta> i always dream and then wake up and i was like woah was that real
<NickBlasta> like the matrix
<isajeep> which pill did you take?
<NickBlasta> the hard pill
<isajeep> lol knew you'd say that
#52911
<Damian> Ever since my male cat died, my female one won't leave me alone.
<Damian> I think she's lonely without him.
<Ren> I think she just wants to get laid.
<Damian> I think you need to shut the fuck up about my cat.
#14334
[Dainichi] I want a penis! Hell, you have a penis, you can masturbate anywhere!
[Dainichi] For a woman to do it RIGHT, she has to lay down. Man gets a boner in the kitchen, he can wack off in the kitchen.
[Dainichi] If I had a penis...I'd lock myself in my room for so long that my friends and family would probably end up calling missing persons on me.
#9484
<asvisn> there is no /leave
*** asvisn has left #quickbasic
#55159
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement
#36142
<timmo> my friend and i were driving someplace one day
<timmo> and we were driving his womans car
<timmo> he got a nose bleed and i was looking through the glovebox
<timmo> for tissues
<timmo> the only thing i saw was a tampon
<timmo> he shoved it in his nose
<timmo> the thing they dont tell you is
<timmo> when a tampon soaks up blood
<timmo> it expands
<timmo> so after like 5mins
<timmo> hes trying to pull it out
<timmo> and its not coming out
<timmo> eventually he got it out
<timmo> and threw it on the sidewalk of the mall
<timmo> :x
#13148
[aphr0] do hospitals let you keep the umbilical cord?
[aphr0] I'ma have my kid's cord made into a die
[aphr0] tie
[aphr0] or freeze it and tan it and make it into a cane
[aphr0] give it to my kid when he learns to walk so he can walk around and pimp bitches with his umbilical cord
#7711
<sc1> the video was compressed at 5fps
<sc1> jesus this sucks
<asmodius> Jesus can't help with sucky frame rates. Trust me on that one.
<asmodius> He's pretty useless when it comes to video compression rates.
#75928
Reddman: brain surgery fascinates me
ion: yeah
ion: usually they have to be conscious during it
ion: to help out
ion: "does it tickle when I do this?"
ion: "No, but I hear 'born in the USA' playing"
ion: "OK, I'll remove that one"
ion: "thanks"
Reddman: lmfao
infernalista: LOL
#477
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein
#6959
<greg> I like bush, but i dont like Busch or Bush.
#2546
<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi
#16300
<BoZZ> my thing don't work...
<[TX]-KnacK_WerK> well at least ur not married...
#52841
< orange9> gentoo?
< ScooterTi> bless you
#311434
<truck> DDT was stopped by police once "why are you here"
<truck> he showed his phone playing ingress
<truck> "I am a network technician, I am scanning this area for wireless problems"
<truck> "ok then"
<truck> police drive off
#10899
<StrScream> there is definitely not NEARLY enough dick being licked.