Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#765
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun
#2922
<Snag> on another note
<Snag> you know any fake tan shit i can buy?
<eldee> fake tan shit?
<eldee> wtf?
<Snag> ya
<Snag> i have supah white arms
<eldee> go to a tanning booth, give the bitch 5 bux and stick your arm in the pipe dude
#15636
<KB8> im sick of you crazypale
<crazypale> im sick of you to
<KB8> no im sick of you crazypale
<crazypale> no ,im sick of you to
<KB8> you gte on my damn nerves
<crazypale> you make my stomache turn asswipe
<KB8> i gotta go ill pm you later
<crazypale> ok l8r
#2542
<PolestaR> what the hell is a segway
<Marudek> we already have electric wheel chairs
<PolestaR> how fast is it?
<DooD> about 15 mph
<PolestaR> pfft
<PolestaR> i can have sex quicker then that
#56552
<WildTangent> youve stolen my thunder by insulting yourself...damn
<nauseaboy> bwahahaa! beware my terrible hatred for my ownself!
<nauseaboy> I am an impenetrable fortress of self loathing!
#35480
<Allahkat> I thought of the most awesome idea for me stretched ear lobes ever.
<Allahkat> I can get these steel plugs with a reb Abalone inlay, and I'm going to solder some beads around the edges so I CAN HAVE GOATSE EAR PLUGS
#73760
<+psych0sys> as long as your farts dont smell like vasoline youre golden
<@Spirilis> what if they do?
<+psych0sys> means jk0s been watching you sleep
#17977
<MixieArmadillo> hahaha
<Mnementh4> if you tell me, I will have to commit sepuku
<MixieArmadillo> is that anything like oragami?
<Mnementh4> more messy, but the concept is basically the same
#57564
<BlackDeth> so if pantera would be considered too heavy for you might as well go put on some hawthorne heights and go cut slits in your arm while you cry about the boy that dumped you
<splice> that is beautiful.
<splice> slight point deduction for letting on that you know an emo band name
<BlackDeth> invalidated by the fact that you obviously know it too
#45629
RuKK0R: you know.. I was just looking at the official list of the most shoplifted items in the good ol US of A
RuKK0R: 1) painkillers
2) home pregnancy tests
3) razor blades
4) preperation H
5) baby food
6) condoms
RuKK0R: the first thing I had to wonder, upon looking over this list..
RuKK0R: if condoms had been higher on the list, would have baby food and pregnancy tests been lower?
jmlsteele: what I'm wondering is why is preperation H on the list.
jmlsteele: the rest "make sense"
jmlsteele: suicide, teen pregnancy, suicide, ????, teen pregnancy, to avoid teen pregnancy
jmlsteele: how in the hell does preperation H fit into that?!
#303447
< Broseidon> i've got a trial shift tomorrow \o/
< AdmiralGT> trial shift?
< Broseidon> yeah
< Broseidon> on a customer returns desk in ikea xD
< Extapathy> do you have to build the desk first?
#43795
<R3mix> my social studies teachers computer crashed today and she got the ever-too-common "program has performed an illegal operation" message
<R3mix> so a few minuted later she was on the phone with the network admin and she was saying
<R3mix> "my computer says i have performed an illegal abortion"
#26247
<Boogaleeboo> I'm sorry your budget only allows for 5 dollars to spend on hookers
<Boogaleeboo> And I'm sorry your ugliness only allows sex with hookers
<Joe_> How much does yours allow, Boog?
<Boogaleeboo> Silly
<Boogaleeboo> You don't PAY
<Joe_> Ah, the confessions of a Boston rapist.
<Boogaleeboo> It's not rape if you kill them first
<Joe_> Touche
#85737
OnionsAhoy: jacking off is like playing solitaire, you only play so that when you win you get to see the cards do that flip out thing
#8024
<Antarius> Are you a dork if you can read digdug.cx/quotes and recognize people regularly?
#2498
<puppet> a woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake an entire relationship
#32466
! KirikaPhoenix sends a brick packet down the network addressed to the router
[Clockedenegger]: you eThug
Comment: #tekheads (Quakenet)
#37678
(SherP) damn
(SherP) i just got head
(SherP) :-D
(SabrWolf) that trick with the cat food worked ?
(SherP) ?
(SherP) die
Comment: sherp is a tool
#28374
<nForbes> ohh cool
<nForbes> i bet i've seen your hose
<nForbes> house*
#14968
<Icereaver> how do i go afk?
#212107
Matt: is it bad that I just had the thought "I wonder if I missed my 1337th masturbation"?
Cynic: you've probably missed your 13337th masturbation by now...
#10930
<rubio_> i'd be afraid of my penis shrinking
<rubio_> to the point it looks like a clit
<rubio_> the humidity here already fuxors with it!
<SEoD> hehe good excuse
<rubio_> hahahahah
<rubio_> its embarassing when a stripper grabs it and stifles a laugh
<rubio_> then pats you sympathetically on the shoulder
<SEoD> hehe and puts money in your pocket
<rubio_> hahahahah
<SEoD> "go see a doctor"
#9111
<ChuffyCow> pr0n heals all wounds
<ChuffyCow> except cuts on the penis.
#51987
DrakeChun: Thank God for apt-get
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: It truly is a gift from God.
thetguy01: "And on the Tenth Day, God said: LET THERE BE APT-GET! And so it was."
DrakeChun: The Tenth Day, 3 after he rested
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: The other two days were him trying to get linux to run.
#30514
<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.