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#266270
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
#13359
<TrivBot> Question 3. A man's beard grows fastest when he ______?
<_Cozmo_> shaves it
<emul8or__> shaves
<RatAway> jacks off
<TrivBot> Here's a hint: antici
<Rjx> anticipates sex
<TrivBot> Rjx got the answer: anticipates sex. In: 5.7secs.
<Rjx> wtf?
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#7194
<nit`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
<NGN-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick
#28917
<^Ocean^> fucking bloody hell
<^Ocean^> I lost 33gig of HDSpace
<LlNK> lol
<LlNK> check under your keyboard
#30084
<@MiMiC> I am the king of all men
<@MiMiC> I just gave this girl an orgasm on the phone
<@Catgirl[BTEG]> "An" orgasm? Weak.
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet
#81484
<Trinexx> I've come to the conclusion that my spare computer sucks ass.
<Trinexx> I tried to install Xubuntu on it, and it gave me an OOM error.
<Panoz> xubuntu?
<|BAD| hack attack> wtf is a OOM error?
<Trinexx> oh right, I forgot that you're all idiots. Nevermind.
#52311
<TriviaBot> Trivia: In 1973 israel shoots down 13 __________ mig-21s?
<synth> american
<Mike> syrian
<TriviaBot> Made Man Mike was correct. Answer: syrian Time: 11.281 Earnings: 33750 Rank: 78th
<synth> syria has planes?
<Mike> it did
<Mike> israel shot em all down
Comment: irc.jaundies.org #trivia
#18730
<sprite> blah
<sprite> outlook died
<sprite> uh oh.
<sprite> outlook's really dead
<barr> you underestimate the power of the dark side
* sprite watches outlook slowly corrupt her applications
#1936
<fimmtiu> asylum, then your disk is full. *shrug* Wield rm -f wildly.
<asylum_> fimmtiu. yeah right dude.
<DemoN> rm -f is too slow. newfs.
<rudefix> hell, i just prefer to take the disk out and lick it!
#11206
<fm> they say if you do the same thing over and over again .. you'll get sick of it. I've been cutting school for more days then I can count and I'm not sick of it yet
#7891
<Nebu|sR> least you've got yourself a "real" women
<Fodz> indeed
<Fodz> back to your doll eh nebs? :P
<Nebu|sR> hey im comfortable being alone
<Fodz> pffft
<Fodz> a plastic friend is hardly alone :D
<rabbit> especially when you call it "darryl" like nebs does
#33584
(fleet21): Matteo, you appeal to everyone
(Matteo): I do?
(Tack): Especially the blind.
#3619
<FreshBrew> BEAT MY CHILDREN
<kolby> You take that B off and I won't even charge ya.
#34509
[sQurl] jesus is there anything that isn't broken right now?
[r1ch] customers phones
#8961
[T-Doo|art] when you think about evil, what pops up?
[Rosewood] Daikatana
#103505
<tonyyarusso> So I just went and looked at my Newegg order status, and saw a message I've never seen before:
<tonyyarusso> "THE PACKAGE IS DELAYED DUE TO A TRAIN DERAILMENT[X] "
#307813
<+Emmy> It's a good thing I've got a nokia.
<+Emmy> I kinda accidentally threw it against a wall >.<
<+Akuma> Emmy: oh shit! is your wall okay?!
#86063
* custardpringle was talking about how she regularly sleeps in the art building thursday nights because she works late thursdays and has art hw due first thing fridays
<Eiko> what do you sleep on?
<custardpringle> there is a lounge. with couches.
<custardpringle> I try not to think too hard about them.
* Eiko spent a week of freshman year in college sleepingin the Physical Therapy lab after doing something horrible.
<Eiko> so I know that feeling
<Ellie> Uh oh?
<Eiko> well, my freshman roommate was, uh, very amorous...
<Eiko> ...and I stopped enjoying having to find somewhere else to sleep other than my own bed on weekends...
<Eiko> ...an I was staff on the campus radio station...
<Eiko> so yeah, to save my life I slept in the PT lab for a week until my roommate stopped wanting to kill me for broadcasting twenty minutes of fucking.
<Eiko> I note it was not a live broadcast.
<Eiko> I taped it and played it on the air.
#5271
* xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of Cat-5 cables"
<xL> #1: A windows NT network
#176538
Exolent: I'll be back in like 15 minutes, i need to fake going to sleep so i can come back and stay up.
(the next morning)
Exolent: Sorry i didn't come back last night. i fell asleep trying to fake fall asleep.
#58125
DavidMM says, "Next question... do I want to devote the next half hour to writing a Wikipedia article on fruit peel just to satisfy my own sense of injustice that there isn't one?"
Matt_D [to DavidMM]: Are you a botanist or in some other way an expert on plant matter?
DavidMM [to Matt_D]: No, but I like eating things with fruit peel in them..
Matt_D [to DavidMM]: Then you are the perfect person to write the Wikipedia article on the subject.
#6706
<boomer> mount rushmore, contrary to popular opinion, did not grow that way
#302416
Vasir: What's tuberculosis?
Psi: A lung disease
Vasir: Ohh, I thought it was an std
Psi: lol, no, it's transferred by coughing, sneezing, stuff like that
Vasir: I thought its when your dick is clogged
Psi: ...
Vasir: ...
Vasir: Is there a disease fitting that description?
Psi: God, I hope not...
#1601
<skatoni> will some one please help
<`NeXiGeN`> what's yer problem ?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<`NeXiGeN`> unplug yer modem
<skatoni> how?
<`NeXiGeN`> see all those wires behind your computer box ?
<`NeXiGeN`> ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer)