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#114149
<rabidmoth> When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
#295382
<Fualkner> You know, Carry on Wayward Son is one huge innuendo.
<Fualkner> "Carry on wayward son / there'll be peace when you are done"
<Fualkner> "Carry on, nothing equals the splendor"
<Fualkner> Kansas is apparently made up of chronic masturbators
<Pingly> Stop.
<Pingly> STOP.
<jabbers> You just fucking ruined that song for me.
#30066
<Guest15294> I've been on mIRC for many years, but now there is a hacker named nickserv, and everytime i connect he changes my nick, can anyone help me???
#7932
<@n909> this guy is traveling in oregon
<@n909> and ran out of weed
<@n909> so he comes to #oregon
<@n909> and asks us for some
#49831
<kb> o
<kb> ^circle
<ppo> wow you have a very steady hand
<kb> thanks
<kb> i've been practicing
#519
<smcn> one of these days
<smcn> i'm going to hunt down and kill whoever invented emoticons
<smcn> then i'm going to look at him and go >=D
#42283
If English was good enough for Jesus Christ,
it's good enough for us.
- Miriam Ferguson, Governor of Texas
Comment: only in the USA...
#54442
<Dread> UR R R0nG j00 n3wbz! T4ht iz n0t m4thz, t4ht r t3h SUXX0Rz!1!! ZOMG URL4ME GET4LI3FLRN2PlYkTHXBYE1!1!
<Dread> ouch
<Dread> I think I sprained my brain trying to read that
<ct> you are wrong you new users of this system. That of which you speak is not related to mathematics, rather, it is something quite unacceptable. I swear to the Lord above that you are substandard in your abilities. Please, find a hobby which will distract you as you learn its intricacies. Thank you for your time and consideration, I bid you adieu.
<ct> translation is just one of the services I provide
#96
<VIVI> Xbox already has the following games:
<VIVI> Microsoft Word
<VIVI> Microsoft Excel
<VIVI> Solitaire
#220584
<SilverDrake> I don't fall in love with actors all that much
<SilverDrake> mostly 'cuz it breaks my heart when they go and become Scientologists
#38110
02:14 MrDictionary: My new laptoppy 802.11g wireless card is ace
02:15 Tully: that came already? phew! lucky bastard
02:15 MrDictionary: 75kbs upload to my FTP! EAT THAT!
02:16 Tully: You suck.
02:16 Jamers0n: You lucky fuck.
02:17 Tully: Betya can't shake the laptop about while uploading
02:17 MrDictionary: Just freaking watch me
* MrDicitonary has quit IRC (Ping timeout - Server time 02:18)
02:18 Jamers0n: lol
02:19 * Tully cracks knuckles
#1557
<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large, exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on the internet?
<freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet
<freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but keep them wondering.
#8719
<AndrewB> Lonely..
<Linguica> aww
<AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
<AndrewB> Er, wrong window.
#35782
<DX|> what do they call those things on the side of the road? that make annoying noises when you drive over them, so you don't fall asleep?
<DX|> other than children?
#24030
<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid
#60175
<NIM^Outithj> I parked the car and turned to her, by the time I turned my head her shirt was already half off
<NIM^Outithj> And she was like Touch my breast
<NIM^Outithj> I was like what?
<NIM^Outithj> She was like Touch my tits
<NIM^Outithj> so I started the car and drove her home
<Malawar> ...
<[JS]-nowhere> well that was anti-climatic
<NIM^Outithj> Once I started driving home she started on this complex like 'WTF, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TITS? OMG THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME ISN'T THERE... ETC...'
<NIM^Outithj> So to shut her up, I reached over and grabbed one, and sweezed it twice, and on each squeeze I made the hook sound skeeter from that cartoon doug used to make
<NIM^Outithj> then put both hands back on the wheel like nothing had just happened :p
Comment: #empiresmod / gamesurge
#141584
<Crucius> I had the best race home from work today
<Crucius> I pull out from work on my motorbike, and theres a guy on another bike right next to me, who sees me and like takes off
<Crucius> so I take off after him, and we're like dodging in and out of traffic hard out
<moxie> lol
<Crucius> and we stop at a set of lights, next to this guy on a scooter
<Crucius> lights go green and we're off again
<Crucius> doing like 120ish in a 50 zone
<moxie> lawd
<Crucius> get to the next set of lights
<Crucius> and like a minute later, the guy on the scooter arrives agaibn
<Crucius> lights change, and we're off again, but we get hed up by a big assed queue of traffic we cant get past
<moxie> D:
<Crucius> so we're sitting there waiting
<Crucius> and the guy on the scooter goes by in the cycle lane
<Crucius> and we just hung our heads
#37927
quad341: Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day, give him a religion and he'll starve to death praying for a fish.
#25605
<@lucid> good warez comes to those who wait ;)
#307705
<BMF54123> bluh, what the hell is wrong with FCEUX
<BMF54123> I have to load Metroid several times to keep it from crashing at a grey screen
<Inuyasha> it's a REALLY accurate emulator :o
#5427
<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's
#21579
* typeoghoul MY INTERNET KID GOT A 1200 ON HER SAT"S
<Predddan> internetkid?
<typeoghoul> yes
<Predddan> like a tamagotchi?
<typeoghoul> human
<Predddan> like a human tamagotchi u control over the internet?
<Predddan> kewl..
#15712
<PetrDoubt> "Blackout for 00Q1 begins on 04/07, so there should be plenty of time for the options to be credited to your account before then."
<PetrDoubt> Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 16:29:31 -0700
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, Verio!
#13711
<theSonarch> is there a command for turning a number into a string representation of a number?
<Aximili> yes
<Aximili> /msg Aximili (yournickservpassword)
#14289
* eMeow-v2 fiddles with his r00t
<Apollo-> Can you fiddle with my r00t too? I like it when people play with my root
<eMeow-v2> Apollo-: you want "girlfriend". STFW.
<Apollo-> haha
<Apollo-> No, if I had a "girlfriend", "wife" would STFW for "unsolvable murder"