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#5876
<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"

#8450
<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince

#26281
<Madchemist> the best part of UO was that some people just wanted to be farmers or weavers or some mess
<Madchemist> and you could slaughter them and take their hard earned stuff

#9659
<nikki> can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is

#105463
<CtrlAltDestroy> I was renaming some files on my desktop earlier, and I guess I got mixed up somewhere.
<CtrlAltDestroy> Because I just found a file called "Metroid Prime 3 Corruption - Chocolate Rain.mp3"

#309092
<+Dixie> i hate how minesweeper can get into indeterminable situations really late in a game
<%Vaccer> dixie get better at maths
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> vaccer it's not a case of maths. there are plenty of situations where it can end up impossible to know where the bomb is
<@Loskene> just like a real minefield
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> the only way to win is not to play

#16886
<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do

#299911
< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> .....not what I meant.

#10894
<Starscream> uh
<Starscream> i just accidentally told my credit card company i was smoking crack
<Starscream> shit.

#54846
<redrum> the last urmom joke I told blew up in my face
<redrum> turned out the guys mom was dead
<redrum> he told me to get my dick out of the urn

#37376
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die

#301866
<indigo> 6750[~9iurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (continued for several lines)
<rogueclown> ???
<@packrat> theres a cat on indigo's keyboard
<Sneakyness> hahahahahahahahahahahaha
<@packrat> thats my guess
<rogueclown> meow.
<Sneakyness> :3
<indigo> =~s--------------------------------------------------------- (continued for several lines)
<nullspace> rawr
<indigo> =sss[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ (continued for several lines)
<nullspace> shoo cat
-!- indigo was kicked from #i3detroit by packrat [indigo]
(twenty minutes later)
-!- indigo [~indigo@theross.com] has joined #i3detroit
<indigo> well, sorry about that
<Stormgren> cat?
<indigo> i don't know
<indigo> i think i've been sitting here all that time
(two hours later)
<indigo> so, i've discovered the cause of my earlier flood
<indigo> i've been informed there *was* a cat on my keyboard
<indigo> it was another keyboard with a screen session 20 miles away

#39543
ingannilo (8:52:41 PM): it was occuring to me that I'd be fine working like 50 hours/weed at publix if I was high, 'cause I could totaly space out and still do my job
ingannilo (8:52:55 PM): hours/week
ingannilo (8:52:59 PM): freudian slip slidin' right into the unemployment line.

#283502
< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
< Laura> It was lost in a move.
< Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis in a jar.
< Laura> This makes me feel better.

#53151
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl>      "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.
Comment: true story, i fixed the code and am running it again

#102712
[linux]    hey i have a question
[helf]     ok
[linux]    i recently installed ubuntu on my laptop
[linux]    and it works very good
[linux]    the only problem is that i can not boot into windows anymore
[helf]     uhoh

#13486
<ToastyX> CNQ: Use webserve.dal.net, it's new and reliable
<ToastyX> I never get peered from it.
*** ToastyX has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)

#2474
<Server_X> i need to take my modem out tonight
<Server_X> is it true that you have to wax your modem if it is a 56k once every month?

#28339
<@Rjx> I just spent 3 minutes trying to find the wire to my headphones
<@Rjx> then I realised.....THEY ARE WIRELESS HEADPHONES
Comment: #geekissues

#310631
<Jigsy> So in Civil War re-enactment school I was voted most likely to secede.

#5300
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

#295981
<+Biiaru> Admittedly, calculus is like sucking dick. I don't very much want to do it, but I have to get to college somehow.
Comment: #zelda

#311357
<netham45> Bash.org is offline
<netham45> But it responds to SSH.
<netham45> I tried to log into their SSH as 'ERROR CRITICAL BASH.ORG IS DOWN' in hopes their log management system picks up on the keywords.

#51128
<alb2550> All the text on my screen is blurring into dirty limericks and communist propaganda which means i must be really tired.

#709
<|Chris> how many straight edge kids does it take to drink a six pack?
<|Chris> 1, if no one's looking

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