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#67052
<jessecrouch> any of you ever play those mmorpg sex/relationship games?
<f0rked> like, myspace?
Comment: #null
#1181
Sug*******i8: Darn it, I wanted to nuke some pizza but someone's using the micro-wave...
loofaspunge: just rub each slice one at a time really fast...
#35289
<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube
#9008
<mrfy> hmm. my title choice was questioned
<pembroke> what title did you ask for?
<mrfy> software zymurgist
<mrfy> "I was curious, since 'zymurgist' usually has to do with the chemical fermentation process in the production of wine. Perhaps that's a term also used in software, and I apologize for having second guessed this if that is the case."
#306924
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide?
#6149
<{x3n0}> my amplifier just went *WHUMP*
<{x3n0}> and my speakers went *saUTENIaetiuBiudsiuZDXIUBGiuZZXT*
#13874
<Nall> ...you know what's funny? I was expecting to hit my rock bottom a few minutes ago
<Nall> And yet... here I am, talking about scribbling vaginas on my chest in order to spooge on myself
#9399
<Ragnarok> i kinda like that
<Ragnarok> i dig the natural look
<haole> then you'll be quite pleased with her crotch afro
<haole> it looks like a 70s blaxploitation extra
#6679
<coulson> Check this quote :) "<n|ghtOUT> my gf can smoke cigarettes with her pussy"
<BiOHaZd> She must taste like an ashtray
#43804
<psych> Worrying sucks.
<psych> Let's start a crusade against worrying!
<smm> I agree
<psych> But what would we do if it all went horribly wrong?
<psych> ...ah crap.
#55082
<fizzer> and we had to put condoms on the boys bananas
<fizzer> and there were too many girls in my class, so it was me and another girl with Luke
<fizzer> and he was mighty embarrassed
<koshua> Were the guys given half a nectarine and told to find the clitoris?
Comment: Sex Ed, Ozzie style
#6798
<bos> whats that goatse website again ? I need it
#1078
(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box
#35740
the_white2086: just thinking, 2 saddest thing I have seen for a while
the_white2086: 1) instructions on toothpicks
the_white2086: 2) warning many contain traces of nuts (on a bag of penuts)
phlipping: how do you fit instructions on a toothpick?
phlipping: they're pretty small
the_white2086: packet of toothpicks
phlipping: well, if you use small enough type, then "Put tooth here -->" would suffice
the_white2086: :))
the_white2086: seriously though
the_white2086: 1) moisten tip gently with tounge
the_white2086: 2) insert between teeth with flat edge next ot gum
the_white2086: 3) use with a gentle in/out rocking motion
phlipping: I don't know what's more sad. That there were instructions on a toothpick packet or that you remember them
#16835
<JaYsOn``> why the fuck do i always attract gay dudes
<moonbeam> um, well you do go to gay bars
<JaYsOn``> yeah but im straight! surely theres other straight guys there
#17977
<MixieArmadillo> hahaha
<Mnementh4> if you tell me, I will have to commit sepuku
<MixieArmadillo> is that anything like oragami?
<Mnementh4> more messy, but the concept is basically the same
#16595
Silent4042: What's another name for child molestation?
SocialistNinja: Divine intervention?
Silent4042: What?
SocialistNinja: That's what my priest tells me.
#53587
<@JimPanic> 'life without my girlfriend is like coding without vi and gcc..'
<@JimPanic> ._.
<@]{ing> ... try to tell her like this :P
#24298
* popsicle_sands faints
* D3k administers mouth to mouth
<Yunees|shower> ewww
<D3k> ..
<D3k> well that did *wonders* for my self-esteem
#30570
<DJ-Pyro> The average person contains 5 to 25 pounds of waste build up in their colon. This leads to being overweight, colon cancer, deadly toxins and parasite build up.
<Lippizanr> wow!
<DJ-Pyro> "Approximately 90% of all disease and discomfort is related to an unclean colon."
<Lippizanr> imagine that!
<Lippizanr> sign me up!
<DJ-Pyro> aparently "Drooling While Sleeping" is caused by an unclean colon
<DJ-Pyro> http://www.shadysports.com/colon/
<DJ-Pyro> I'd totally buy from a company hosted at shadysports.com
<Lippizanr> dry lips during the day?
<Lippizanr> and damp lips at night?
<DJ-Pyro> heh
<Lippizanr> it has EXTREME POWER PLUS.
<DJ-Pyro> oh shi
<Lippizanr> exactly.
<triple6> 5 to 25 POUNDS?! of waste build up?
<triple6> dude, that's a small child
<triple6> and rather unlikely
<DJ-Pyro> well that sure would explain the cries of help coming from my ass
#42001
<Jaymi> I just put lotion all over my hands and arms, then I looked at the bottle again, its glue. :(
Comment: #tenor @ irc.gamesaloon.net
#296772
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so i got a good story for all of you
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yesterday the supreme bitch brought in her home laptop because i needed to set it up for remote access
<Kayeffem|wrkin> while it was here she decided to bitch about how the screen isnt used up all the way and there are spaces on the sides
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now this is a 17" widescreen laptop
<Kayeffem|wrkin> and it's being used at the max widescreen resolution
<Kayeffem|wrkin> as i play around with it i notice that there's nothing wrong and the screen is just fine
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so she tells me to goto the internet and goto a webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> where i find out her real problem
<Kayeffem|wrkin> the websites that she likes to visit dont expand to fit multiple resolutions
<Kayeffem|wrkin> thus causing empty space to the left and right of the main webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now apparently this is a big enough problem for her that she's going to purchase a second laptop that's smaller
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so that the websites will take up the full screen with no gaps
<JackWat|Lap> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<JackWat|Lap> Kayeffem|wrkin: thats fuckin crazy
<Adam^2> crazy bitch is crazy
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yea, i almost asked her if she was fucking with me
#4216
<pingboy> COUNTER STRIKE CURED MY PORN ADDICTION
#17725
<prok> still living at home :/
<nug> living at home is cool and all, but it sucks to kick a bitch out in the morning and she walks past my parents on the way out
<p0ng_> fuck that, i'm loving with my dad till he moves
<prok> BEST TYPO EVER
#34705
drobe: yo, sup, how are you, good afternoon, pleasant surprise, aight, let's do this and any other phrasing of greeting from your favourite shallow sub-culture language
Bob: Moo.
drobe: shit, I forgot that one