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#303154
<pgp> i want food but it is raining and i have no escape from the rain
<pgp> oh wait i have apples
<iank> use them to construct an umbrella
<iank> so you can buy food
Comment: irc.slashnet.org/#mefi
#6758
<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .:: -
<Kilroy`> well, all I saw was the top of her head
<Kilroy`> I wonder if I'll recognize her if I meet her again
<Kilroy`> .....
<dh> Kilroy`: I guess you'll just have to make every chick you meat give you head
<dh> err meet
<dh> but then, meat works too
#43442
<DarkStatix>: Wat are you seen?
<farsideofbryan>: What?
<DarkStatix>: Rigth now wat are you seen in youre mind?
<farsideofbryan>: Very bad english.
<Kotjze>: Took the words right out of my mouth :|
#285
<BlackDeth> that was the night those gay dudes were hittin on me
<BlackDeth> and the one offered me money to go sex0r him
<BlackDeth> they prolly saw i was wrecked
<BlackDeth> and thought they could take advantage
<BlackDeth> boglins own
<ikkenai> so how much did he pay you
<BlackDeth> he didnt
<BlackDeth> he just offered
<ikkenai> oh
<ikkenai> so you did it for free
#11943
<Normandy> I like Pixie's spelling late at night
<Pixie_Pete> kick Normandy SUHT PU 0F0!!!11
#6743
<@helloraj> if ya rape a positute would u get arrested for stealing?
#1060
<tokage> ha ha 'geek' weddings - "Do you, GandalfGreyhame, take cyndrekit to be your lawfully wedded wife in uptime and down, for low processing power and high, till someone unplugs the power cord
#16361
<Jake> so I got dissed by this girl i was talking to online
<Jake> we were getting along really well and she wanted to meet
<Jake> but she wanted a picture
<Jake> so I sent her one (got one of hers, she was fine)
<Jake> she said "I'm really looking for some one more 'athletic'"
<Jake> bummer
<Jake> so i say
<Jake> well im trying hard, ever since i have been able to afford the full time trainer and chef I've lost over 200 lbs
<Jake> she says you can afford a trainer/chef
<Jake> i say yeah
<Jake> she changes her mind about meeting
<Jake> i tell her to go fuck herself
#917
e l i t e m r p: afk, working on my invention
n e r d b 5: invention.....uhm, whats it do?
e l i t e m r p: converts piss into drinking water
e l i t e m r p: so far, still tastes yucky
#33081
(fleet): I had a bad sexual experience last night
(fleet): I cut my penis on a jagged vagina
(nme): that wasn't a vagina, I told you to stop fucking those goddamn pepsi cans
#17023
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know
#7540
< Kayne > man, i should take this vibrating monkey out of my ass... it's starting to affect my typing
#307916
<@Sebas> Apparently I tried to go to sleep with my feet on the pillow because "then they'd get to be comfortable for a change, too"
<@Sebas> And when the girlfriend told me I'd suffocate then, I told her "No, because I'm James Bond"
<@Sebas> Which I later explained, after they told me this, was because James Bond is an under-cover agent.
<@Sebas> So obviously he wouldn't suffocate under the blankets.
<@nukespooon> ahahhaha
<@Sebas> EVEN WHEN I'M SHITFACED OUT OF MY MIND, I MAKE TERRIBLE PUNS
#11148
Meredy31: Hackers is just the coolest movie :)
Rann XXV: Indeed. n.n But only if you're not an actual hacker. But that's okay, because those people deserve to be annoyed. ^^
Rann XXV: A little payback for every system crash and virus-eaten file is in each hacker's scream of "DAMMIT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"
#15046
<Gazhag> black ice defender is a good defender program, much better than firewall.
<Dzarg> lol :)))
<Dzarg> I could almost make that my quit message.
<Gazhag> oh, what's so funny in that? It's better than firewall, isn't it?
#3017
<TurboRout> i saw some of my high school friends when i got put in rehab
#16508
<yesyouam> Never let drugs stand in the way of alcohol
#8755
<radead> (number of slashdot posts x ultima online character level)^(number of dime sized zits on face)/(girlfriends had before + 1) = sizeOf(nerd)
<radead> girlfriends had before + 1 so we don't get a divide by zero error
#5500
<Hahn> Zara, have you ever killed anyone with a crowbar during a soccer riot?
<Zaratustra> Didn't have the chance.
<Hahn> That sounds like an excuse to me.
#17129
<moira> o
<AnimeFreak> my new keyboard has improved my typing skills
<AnimeFreak> too bad other keyboards suck compared to this keyboard
<moira> is it an ergonomic microsoft keyboard
<AnimeFreak> no
<AnimeFreak> ibm model m
<moira> sry ergonomic is best
<AnimeFreak> no
<AnimeFreak> model m > *
<jre> FUCKS SAKE, ARE THEY FORGETTING TO INSTALL SHIFT KEYS ON THE NEW KEYBOARDS?!?@!
#118435
<Lemmy> : no body like's an grammer nazi.
<Harbinger>: *Nobody
<R4dbutton>: *likes
<@Voyager> : *a
<Shakur> : *grammar
<cyclic> : *Nazi
<Lemmy> : ...
* GrammarNazi ;-p
#37609
<Syntax> Deranged, pull my pants back up
<Deranged> no
<Syntax> Fine, I'll let him see my penis
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> Aww...look, it's hiding!
#296747
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#30620
<Lizzie-Rei> I'm losing my flab.. by not doing anything
<Lizzie-Rei> actually..
<Lizzie-Rei> lifting wood helps
<Lizzie-Rei> and pushups
<Lizzie-Rei> and slapping guys
<Lenoh> yes, liftin "wood" does help
<Lizzie-Rei> ¬_¬
<Lenoh> and "pushups"
* Lizzie-Rei slaps Len
#16264
<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"