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#27889
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned.
#14983
<bring> My mom, out of the blue
<bring> asked me if I ever thought of joining the army
<bring> and was like "I don't approve of that, but you might like it" and I was like "approve of what?" so she was like "you know, killing people"
#10116
Greg um...: west is that way.. --->
juggalett_chick: no thats north here
Greg um...: not my fault your monitor is facing the wrong way...
#17941
<GameFang11> He says, and he pulls out sword from the wall
<GameFang11> he loses 3 HP
<GameFang11> The Thief attacks Christ
<Chris-Hotwire-Ashtear> hehehe
<GameFang11> DAMN! *Chris
<Drakkor> man
<Drakkor> you are going to hell
#8102
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#310254
<shachaf> you open the third door and behind it is an argument about the monty hall problem
#46482
<polychromophilia> I wouldn't be caught DEAD with a necrophiliac...
#110375
[thom] I'm going to order one of those MIND erasing kits...
[xexyz] a bong, thom?
#39011
<Shadow> 1337 translates not to leet, as many people suspect, but actually to retarded.
#44934
* eLe sends hordes of lemmings over HolyGoat.
<HolyGoat> lemmings are cool :)
<HolyGoat> my g/f has lemmings
<eLe> Haha.
<HolyGoat> seriously :)
<rioter> does she make them all blow up?
<rioter> cause thats what i used to do
<HolyGoat> heh no, not the computer game
<rioter> computer game?
#18132
[08:40] <GreenNight> voodoo mmm
[08:41] * GreenNight is going to invent a marriage simulator. It's a blowup doll that sits on the couch, takes your money, and slowly inflates larger and larger
#55144
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!"
#36239
<ozwald> some guy my mom knows at work (ive never met him) bought me a 50$ book on java
<ozwald> from amazon
<+retry> wow
<ozwald> called thinking in java
<+retry> nothing says I wanna fuck your mother like a book on java
<ozwald> i know
<ozwald> oh well
<Rift> prolly saying, im scrogging your mom and will soon be your step dad, so here is a gift
Comment: #maddox on WhatNET
#41644
<@Unim4trix0> hey
<@Unim4trix0> i just realized
<@Unim4trix0> you can set your channel +ntsc
<@Unim4trix0> but not +pal
* Knogle is now known as Knogle_
<@Knogle_> freak
<@Knogle_> lol
<@Unim4trix0> i think theres a message there
Comment: Playing with new ircd/services features on DALnet
#898
<timmo> make me dumplings
<timmo> and some grit
<Fustard> grits*
<Fustard> grit would be dirt, tim
<timmo> no zach im watchin my weight i only want one grit
#50190
(+Mafi) A friend of mine, earlier, kept nudging me, making my computer run slow
(+Mafi) (Over MSN)
(+Mafi) So I said "Do that one more time, and I'll kill you."
(+Mafi) She did it once more
(+Mafi) I waited 'til she was playing World of Warcraft
(+Mafi) And nudged her, spammed her, and sent voice clips
(+Mafi) ...I killed her ENTIRE GROUP
Comment: #otf_games on irc.gamesurge.net
#57710
<orph> sigh, the sucky thing about open source is that people don't tell you when they're ripping off your ideas
<stuart> orph: just do what i do
<stuart> know that all ideas are yours and expect that everyone else is ripping them off
<orph> stuart: what a good idea. i'm glad i thought of it!
#311400
<steve> so there was this documentation for Structured bonds missing
<steve> apparently someone has labeled the document as SRUCTured bonds
<steve> inside the document there was a link to a SQL query
<steve> but whenever you clicked it it would show title bar of the window only
<steve> when you resized it to see the query, you would see the window is empty
<steve> but somehow copy and paste worked and you could copy from empty window
<steve> in editor you would get two queries
<steve> one for version 3.1.29 and newer and one for versions prior to 3.1.29
<steve> we had 3.1.29, so OBVIOUSLY the one working was the older one
<steve> lost 3 hours because of this
<steve> this is some new level of fuckery
#23855
<pupazz_> I know where I live. Under your bed. Oh yes. One day, You'll feel a knife go through your spine.... Oh yes.
<D_Radio> pupazz_: considering I am currently sleeping on a mattress, it must be very uncomfortable
#57801
<pram_handle> Google Ad:
<pram_handle> ESSAY PROOFREADERS: Our Expert Service Let's (sic) you kick back while we read!
#26347
<mef> American Scientists Finalize Plans To Construct Artificial Tri-Force;
<mef> US Declares War On Ganon
<mef> http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2003/06/28/weekinreview/29over.slide01.jpg
#54583
<Biablo> wrestling is 6 inches away from gay sex
<Gafgarion> 6 inches away? more like a thin speedo away from gay sex
#294934
<mixster> This is the Internet - telling stupid people not to do stupid things is like telling a deaf person to listen closely
#363
* inof has reached EOF (End Of Fruhstuck [breakfast]).
<yu-> don't forget to close open descriptors now [wash the dishes] :)
<inof> :-]
<inof> *sigh*... Why isn't it as easy as in Unix? You just do exit(), and all descriptors are closed automatically. ;)
#28320
<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline