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#14568
<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT.....
#12851
<Jallak> Now, see, what you've done is just given me this mental image of this prepubescent girl dressed as a boy on stage, addressing the audience and telling them "Tinkerbell thinks she might become well again if little children believed in sex"
#300740
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#300320
halcy0n: yanno what i fkn hate
halcy0n: .....the motion activated toilets
halcy0n: dude...you cant fuckin move!
bladezor: hahaaaa
halcy0n: you like just twist one way and its a fuckin shit water bidet.
halcy0n: doesnt help that the toilet flushing is powered by a fucking boeing 757 engine
#300792
<SterlingSilver> We got our report cards back last week. I'm not so great in school, so I did a D in one class. But I was totally okay with this when I realized that with the S (satisfactory) in chorus and the S in study hall, the first 6 grades on my report card spell "BADASS."
#261933
<elDiablo> I HATE MENUS
<elDiablo> MEN FUCKING US
<elDiablo> ...
<elDiablo> Wait a minute
<Xarlaxas> ?
<MaximusBrood> Typo of the day.
<elDiablo> Quiet you
#29708
<Lippizanr> blargh. must get dressed.
<king-mob> Lippizanr: you and your middle-class morality
#33227
* Drummer_B has joined #emu
<Drummer_B> may i ask if this is a roms channel?
<nylint> drummer_b: all you have to do is !list
<Drummer_B> ahhhhhhhhhh ok thanks :)
<Drummer_B> !list
* Drummer_B was kicked by nylint (auto-kick: no triggers or roms, bitch!)
* Drummer_B has joined #emu
<nylint> and you'll get kicked
<nylint> i didn't tell you what it would DO
Comment: #emu efnet kthxbye
#304152
<konaya> Right, I'm having a slight dilemma here.
<nickp666> konaya: sup?
<konaya> If I take the lift, I'll probably timeout on IRC.
<konaya> But I'm too lazy to take the stairs.
<rekoil> is the lift faster than freefall konaya?
<konaya> rekoil, that would be funny but no
<rekoil> you could throw the laptop, take the lift and catch it
<rekoil> thus remaining connected!
[...]
<konaya> Hm. They've fixed the wlan coverage in the elevators.
<konaya> I see my letters of complaint finally paid off then.
Comment: #idroid-dev@irc.macos86.hu
#2539
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#12
<Moot> ok, here's what we do
<Moot> we break into AOL HQ
<Moot> and instead of the AOL setup utility, we put metallica mp3s on all of the startup cds
#30
<pezmasta> my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering machine
#11215
<@Drezdar> !google teen pregnancy crisis hotline
<@Drezdar> Heh, don't ask.
#5302
<@BitS> LordViper is serious about not playing multiplayer games, he even has sex by himself :/
#301493
<Abdoul> will u quit if he fired me?
<Ryan> shit no i got bills to pay
<Abdoul> what?
<Abdoul> u're not a friend
<Ryan> not a stupid one
<Abdoul> i'll get u fired
<Abdoul> and then quit with u to prove how much of a great friend I am
<Ryan> uhm...
#29243
<sir haides> you wanna know what i did?
<sir haides> you're going to _love_ this.
<hile> sure
<sir haides> i inserted an Aqua cd.
<sir haides> the band.
<sir haides> Aqua crashed my mac.
<sir haides> fucking ironic.
<sir haides> ain't it?
#55078
ppcCube: my daughter found a big pile of pennies the other day in some parking lot... "as she was picking them up, a passer by asked 'oh do you collect pennies?'" and my daughter blurts out "Pennies?! screw that, i collect money"
#1151
<Synthrev> Ramen...coke is for pussies
<th0m> no, that's *cock*
#51227
Dead Like One: You know, I've learned something from watching Episode III with Kenny.
A love revisited: Oh?
Dead Like One: "Don't mistreat droids." "Never trust a clone." "Don't make deals with sith lords."
Dead Like One: Things that will never help me.
A love revisited: Replace droids with menial laborers, clone with Catholic, and sith lords with cokeheads, and you've got some serious life lessons there.
#25604
<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot
#307222
<pawz> the other day.. when i turned up in town to service this client? i actually turned up in the middle of hte night and i couldnt check into my hotel until morning. so before i left i dropped 5 tabs of lsd, and by the time i arrived i was absolutely tripping balls
<pawz> i went into the park and stacked all my bags up and put a stuffed pikachu on the top and sat there chatting on irc for a few hours
<pawz> then i walked to my old university, and wandered around seeing if my old keycard would give me access to anything
<pawz> and gave people really bizarre answers when people asked me who i was and what i was doing there
<pawz> "why are you sitting outisde the refectory with a laptop and tablet and a pickahu plushie ?" "pikachu and i are auditing your network"
Comment: #68kMLA on chat.freenode.net
#33026
<@Keiron> Yahoo search brings up 24,400,000 hits for "porn"
<@Keiron> google brings up 92,700,000 hits for "porn"
<@Arcturus> Google - 300% more Pornful.
Comment: #voices on darkmyst
#29643
<AlmtyBob> OMFG
<AlmtyBob> I THINK MY INTERNAL ORGANS ALL JUST EXPLODED
<AlmtyBob> CHRIST
<AlmtyBob> that was so fucking painful my eyesight blurred for like 30 seconds
<ryo-ohki> ...
<Magickian> sounds like a good wank session
<AlmtyBob> fuck I hope my wannabe ulcer isn't starting again
<AlmtyBob> going to go take an explosive crap
<AlmtyBob> oh jesus
<AlmtyBob> no toilet paper
#6208
<skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill everyone
<pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
<pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way!
#35843
* Akujin watches porn
<Akasha> aku are you ALWAYS watchin porn?
<Akujin> When your neighbor is a 21 year old chick who masturbates with the blinds open, then yes
Comment: irc.starfusion.org