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#20237
<Paintballaddict> when I grow up, I wanna be green
<Paintballaddict> my mom said I could be whatever I want to be, so I want to be green
<Slayer1> dude, ure wierd
#44002
(Ravenclaw) im an IRCpot, short and stout
(Ravenclaw) <-- is my handle, this is my spout.
(Ravenclaw) but when the ops piss me off, hear me shout
(Ravenclaw) then i get +b and slapped with a trout
#22075
<DJ> http://www.planetdaikatana.com/
<DJ> heh there's still an active daikatana community
<DOX> i think the term is satanic cult
<DOX> waiting for romero to return in his spaceship and take them to the promised land
#31160
<kiad> wow
<kiad> my favourite professor just got a horrible rating
<kingmob> well, you can't take hotornot too seriously
#24122
<whitcomb> hello alistair
<TAKid75> Explain this Alistair thing to me.
<whitcomb> i called you alistair
<whitcomb> the end.
#299631
<skywalker> hi
<sexiann> hey
<skywalker> how are you?
<sexiann> luke, i need to tell you something
<skywalker> what is it babe?
<sexiann> i know i should probably say this 2 you face-2-face, but im nervous
<sexiann> we've been going out 4 a while now
<sexiann> and things hav been going gr8
<skywalker> yeah
<sexiann> and i think
<sexiann> i think...
<sexiann> i <3 u
<skywalker> i...
<skywalker> i don't understand
<skywalker> you can't have inequalities with imaginary numbers
*** sexiann has quit IRC (leaving)
#310382
<@Madda> Well, people don't seem too bothered by the "Our app will now record audio from your mobile"
<@Madda> So... *shrugs*
<~Altieri> Well, part of the problem is that those privacy warnings aren't always clear.
<@Crazed_Succubus> i feel like if i was that bothered i'd cut myself off from all technology and live in the woods
<@Crazed_Succubus> but i'm determined not to Thoreau my life away
#37879
<Tenor> omg dude
<Tenor> i was at olive garden today
<Tenor> and my grandpa was there too
<Tenor> and he goes "hey, i didn't get a breadstick" (everyone else had)
<Tenor> then he goes "what am i, black?"
<Tenor> i almost died laughing
Comment: maybe we're all racists.... (from #tenor on irc.gamesurge.net)
#158063
<Craiggers> DG was making me watch Chimp Eden tonight and the dude was trying to catch bushmeat traders.
<Craiggers> It was fucking pathetic, he was standing there, being as White as my fucking bare ass with a camera crew, asking his Black friend to ask the bushmeat trader if he had any chimpanzee.
<Craiggers> The dude behind the counter was like "Uhhh, we do not sell chimpanzee because that is illegal and...uhh...wrong."
<Craiggers> Hell, I mean, why don't I go to downtown Indy with a fucking camera crew and ask to buy some crack.
<DeaconVerter> lol
<snex_lptp> maybe they figure a dumb knee-grow doesnt know what a camera is
<Craiggers> "Excuse me, my brother, I believe that I am whack for crack, and am interested in transacting with one who may be able to accommodate my business need."
#29220
<BD|Aweh> just like i pay £1m for every condom i use due to the size of it <The_Package> micro technology is mega expensive innit BD|Aweh :P
#25629
<@BhodiZzZz> cevik: help, my code won't compile and I don't know what's wrong!
BhodiZzZz (bhodi@dda9aaf9.net.hmsk) is now known as Bhodi
<cevik> well.. part of your problem appears to be that you were asleep when you wrote it.. ;)
#35206
<Rjx> I seriously need to take a piss
<Rjx> but the door is blocked up
<Neon[UK]> why?
<Rjx> bats
<Rjx> got to keep them out
<Rjx> I may have to pee out the window
Comment: #geekissues
#309167
<bob> how does Pandora not have an xbox app.
<jmather> bob: because it's not pandora's box
#307796
< er1c_> im curious to know about your knowledge of the tensile strength of a vagina though, vhost-. Â or maybe not
< craige> He was a large baby
< craige> We should leave it at that :p
< vhost-> dude, they can squeeze hard
< vhost-> a penis just kind of sits there, then it raises a little bit, but still just sort of stays there
< vhost-> you can't flex your balls
< er1c_> i um... saw my daughter come into this world. Â i was adamant about not looking but the fucking nurse kept telling me i needed to see the miracle. Â words fail me at describing that horror scene
< vhost-> ~(:D)~ OH HAI
#206039
<Kidsune> Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but i'm gonna go down on you...
<Kidsune> And you're gonna love it...
<Kidsune> But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it...
<Kidsune> Then i'm gonna come back up again and fuck you, big time...
<Kidsune> Lots of love,
<Kidsune> Fuel Prices
#24238
'mouth: Channel Spike Lee and shit'll really hit the fan.
Mach5: Okay, in this scene, you're approached by a crackhead who's offering you a blowjob in exchange for money to buy a cheeseburger.
Mach5: And, action.
'mouth: I immediately run and go home to comfort my inner turmoil with a crack pipe.
Mach5: Cut. You're hopeless.
'mouth: Up yours. I'm an artist.
Mach5: Wait, I'll channel Paul Verhoeven.
Mach5: In this scene, you're approached by a crackhead, who is subsequently beatdown by a threesome of busty, lusty bisexuals, who proceed to offer you a blowjob in exchange for a cheeseburger.
'mouth: Are we digging for bash material or cybering at this point?
Mach5: I've lost track. A/S/L?
#36525
* LW tries to think of other things to put on order for datacenter equipment
<aykroyd_> LW: two comely lasses of virtue true
#295274
< Yorokobi> I saw a great license plate frame and license plate today. The frame: What would Jesus do? The plate: JWRTFM
Comment: #ubuntu-us-ut on freenode
#311085
<kerio> i'm looking for a client that can use ecdsa account keys
<kerio> can be very barebones, in fact i'd prefer it
<kerio> initially i wanted to use gethttpsforfree but it doesn't support ecdsa account keys :|
<hl> kerio: My client supports ECDSA keys
<kerio> does your client do CSRs
<kerio> i'm all for the CSRs
<hl> no. Why do you need CSRs?
<kerio> because i measure my self-worth by how many openssl subcommands i can use in a row without having to check the documentation
#658
<MrSpey> Everyone needs pr0n. In fact, I think the amount of pr0n people have is limited by their free time, connection speed, and storage space. Not desire.
#1943
<ETP> heh
* Tocool is very confused
<ETP> tocool: so am I, but the key is to just say 'heh' so people think you understand
<Tocool> yea but
<Tocool> ...
<Tocool> heh
#3000
*** madwoota changes topic to 'Synoptica needs a dick slapped against his forehead.'
<incorrect> that an offer woota?
#4585
<[ric]> personally I prefer a nice big vibro up the ass while typing two handed
<gaymale> your coworkers get suspicious if you type good one hand in front of them
<[ric]> yeh.. luckily I have the door wired up to the vibro, that way the motor cuts out as they enter the room
#5417
<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm hoping it's a coffee table."
#9605
<SaBaS> brb. food stuck in throat