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#22756
<LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
<exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
<DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
<LarsC> yeah. i fuck you, and you don't even know I was there.
<Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem.
#301526
<ProtoTom> just saw avatar
<ProtoTom> so James Cameron basicaly spent 500 mil to depict a love story between a 15 foot blue woman and a cripple
<jefHardy> it's a progress...last time he spent 200 mil to depict a love story between an iceberg and a big boat
#305605
<Crispy> Rational behavior: Behavior that can be expressed as a fraction.
#319
<Garr|ncha> metallica is a terrible mix of heavy metal and country
#109825
<||bass> irl convo snippet between lenina and me
<||bass> lenina: why don't you ever say my name when you cum?
<||bass> lenina: why can't you be like "oh yea hilary hilary you saved the world!"
<||bass> me: oh yes yes hilary yes! you saved the world!
<||bass> me: ...
<||bass> me: press B to begin a new quest!
<||bass> lenina: arrrghhh!
Comment: #nobodysworld on irc.deltaanime.net
#297681
Jason: need to buy a few things
Jason: 1, set of goalie gears (most expensive... need to spend time shop around.. would cost $600+ brand new)
Jason: 2, hockey bags (prolly can get what i want for 20 bucks. just need to make sure size is big enough)
Jason: 3, my mom's spoon rack
Me-MSN: why do you need to buy that?
Me-MSN: doesn't your mom already have a nice rack?
Jason: she's asian
#16108
<goferdude> What's "hockey"?
<zamros> REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HOCKEY IS?
<Funk> It's like boxing, except it's on ice and there are teams
#8560
<@xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<@pimp> who was wearing them?
#302661
<Mango> Duck.
<Mango> s/D/F/
<chanbot> Mango meant: (Censored).
* chanbot was kicked from #depot by chanbot: No swearing.
<Mango> :D
#913
<matt`> dear god freshmeat looks like ass
<matt`> probably making use of the html 5 <ass> tag
<matt`> <ass tables><hard to read text>blah blah blah</hard to read text><more ass tables><gayness></more ass tables><some gay color></gayness><ass tables>
#29311
<duxr0x>...
<duxr0x> i told u u couldn't amputate a cats leg with a goddamn toothbrush you dumbfuck
#122335
<bp> 'i am legend' should have taken place in west philadelphia
<bp> and ended with the guy moving to bel-air
#307586
<doctor_pork> D'
<hollyfax> you began to cry
<hollyfax> but both your eyes disappeared
<hollyfax> or
<hollyfax> asian pirate
<doctor_pork> was that a haiku
#1128
~ iiSII has a bump on the very edge of his eyelid.
(tektrnica) maybe it is a tumour
(letty) or an ingrown toenail
#33204
<Badtz> oh hell.
<Badtz> I got something japanese subtitled in spanish.
<Badtz> and the glutton I am, I'll watch it anyway.
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#250200
<SirPNut> look, given the choice between turning off the internet router, and turning off the life support machine for a loved one.. who here wouldn't choose to leave the router plugged in ?
<+Marticus> SirPNut: you just said the same thing twice, i dont understand
Comment: #peeringsa
#6400
<cygnus> speech recognition is only for people who don't jerk off enough to build up wrist strength and then get fucked up from using their keyboards
#299429
< ChOwToo> elle, did you really understand the augmented Turing machine argument the other day in that other channel? Or were you just pretending?
<@elle> what?
* ChOwToo feels relieved
Comment: #VerbalAbuse @ Undernet
#7376
<herman> its easy as abxc
#7141
<Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than windows
<Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
<Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS.
#305355
(RooRoo) okay so this guy I've known for like 4 years from conventions, has been trying to seduce me via webcam. cause me losing all that weight made him decide that suddenly, I'm a hot chick.
(RooRoo) I made a 'small penis' joke because he took his pants off when I told him not to
(RooRoo) and then he called his dick 'Bruce Banner'
(RooRoo) who is the guy that becomes the hulk
(RooRoo) I busted out laughing
(RooRoo) could not take him seriously at all after that
#30642
<Tyme> u aren't cooking are ya?
<MaTriX-> i can cook damn well
<Tyme> so can I...I used to cook up hamslice in kuwait and give it to the iraqi kids tellling them it was chicken...I was such a good cook they never knew the difference
<Tyme> hehe, we did toss them fuckers alot of ham slice
<Tyme> I sure as hell hope there isn't an allah, else i'm fucked
#45855
-dmwaters/Wallops- Ok all, three machines going down
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 6 people quit.
<MrNightmare> uh oh
<Phlip> it's armageddon!
<Phlip> every man for himself!
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<spasmFace> War of the Worlds!
* Phlip picks up spasm and uses him as a meat shield
<Phlip> I count 3 splits...
<Phlip> hmm, maybe it's not as major as I made out...
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 37 people quit.
<Phlip> I retract my previous statement.
Comment: #blenderchat on FreeNode
#310063
<oniMaker> tw2113: 97b577be2a18c22ca3406f0d1fdc5c70
<tw2113> ?
<oniMaker> MD5'd profanity.
<oniMaker> If you want to feel insulted you'll have to set up some rainbow tables.
<tw2113> too much effort
<tw2113> i'lll just feign offense
<oniMaker> excellent choice
Comment: during discussion of channel bots trapping profanity and warning uses about it
#297640
<Cronos> Farrah Fawcett dies, and goes to Heaven.
<Cronos> God says to her "You've been such a good sport, I'll let you have one wish."
<Cronos> She wishes for all the children of the world to be safe.
<Cronos> Michael Jackson appears beside her.
<Cronos> God says to Michael "You've also been a good sport for this, you may have a wish as well."
<Cronos> He wishes not to be black in Heaven.
<Cronos> Billy Mays shows up beside him with a bottle of Oxiclean