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#54684
gravybythepint: dude, this girl is of such low moral fiber she doesn't even know what sin means
D1ckhead Dan: Opposite over hypotnuse
gravybythepint: i hate you

#31637
<dEkOr> i wanna fucking kill myself... my cat died and i just pressed reset with my toe by accident and lost 3gb of queues

#55023
Xeno: I'll work for anyone who pays me enough and treats me good
Tony: how about I smack you around and pay you $5.15 an hour?
Xeno: haha i dont wanna do fast food

#56099
<Qwote> I just found out how the universe is going to end.
<Hax0r> how?
<Qwote> Someone will put two mirrors together and leave them alone lone enough that the universe will run out of stack space, and a universal segmentation fault will occour.

#38142
<maff> this whole florida thing better not impact my ability to get a tasty glass of juice.

#305744
<Palantyre> in the Finnish wikipedia article on Amputation: "This article is a stub."
<Palantyre> Fantastic.

#52911
<Damian> Ever since my male cat died, my female one won't leave me alone.
<Damian> I think she's lonely without him.
<Ren> I think she just wants to get laid.
<Damian> I think you need to shut the fuck up about my cat.

#7636
<@Hah|> A lot of you are way too attached to RO. If the servers go down permanently, I wonder how all of you guys would react.
<Dekar> I'm not that attached.
<Dekar> I mean sure, I love the game.. but if It went down, I would move on.
<com4> hah: i'd kill everyone.. in this room .. if the game went down.. and then i'd eat some yogurt
<com4> cuz you know yogurt tastes good. the fruit on the bottom stuff.. rocks.. and then i'd kill people

#28320
<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline

#48642
<Kogita> My car is doing better than ever. The gas tank used to hold $9 worth of gas, now it holds $13 worth.

#309716
<LAMMJohnson> So here's my point;
<MarisaKirisame> that's a semicolon
Comment: #/g/sicp on irc.rizon.net

#55184
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on.

#42421
<PunchBag> haha, earlier i saw this girl wearing this T-shirt that had the words "I wish these were brains" written on her boobs

#54372
< zid`> the faster you go the slower time is
< zid`> you lose like 20 ns flying supersonic to america
< zid`> something like that
<+WhiteWolf> 20ns!??!
< syc> no you don't.
< syc> you lose 4 hours on the tarmac.
< syc> 2 hours in security.

#81975
Timestamps in CDT
11:35:29 <billn> morning
11:35:43 <rm-rf> its afternoon fuckface
11:35:49 <billn> uh
11:35:59 <billn> not even in oklahoma is it afternoon
11:35:59 <rm-rf> don't give me your different time zone bullshit
11:36:07 <lemyn> no, it's still morning
11:36:08 <rm-rf> 11:30 is technically afternoon
11:36:14 <billn> what time is noon?
11:36:20 <rm-rf> I hate you
Comment: #bifemunix EFNet

#3604
(snpr^): 1337 = l33t = leet = elite = ghey

#17218
<SoulEdge> You are a fucker!!! A nasty fucked damn sucked, lesbian gay transsexual pedophile dighead!!! AND U ARE NOT GOING TO KICK OR BAN ME OUT!!! I'M LEAVING MY SELF!!! GET A LIFE!!! GET A NICE ATTITUDE!!! FUCK U!!! MAKE FRIENDS, IF U CAN, SILLY LITTLE NERD!!! d:-(

#4378
<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap

#105808
<Foal> When I was younger (about 7 or 8), me and a neighbor kid had a game that we called "Danger Butt". Basically it involved us going out into some woods near where we lived, taking our pants off, and putting things, you guessed it, in our butts

#303934
< niekie> Someone said to someone else "There's a hole in your shirt."
< niekie> That was just the perfect moment for me to say "That's better than the other way around."

#3619
<FreshBrew> BEAT MY CHILDREN
<kolby> You take that B off and I won't even charge ya.

#3936
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

#205994
Karl(10:34):hey, i'm after a little business advice. do you think it's ok to add the line "pay up you worthless mother*****" to the end of my statements to overdue clients?
Anika (10:47):Yes, that's standard business practice. I also add "All y'all niggaz be trippin if yuh try and play a playah, y'all end up dining on a bullet." That's actually legally binding.

#302934
Ted: Usually we get a virga rainfall here.
bob read that as viagra rainfall
ErinH: lol
Ted: sigh, bob
ian: "if you have rainfall lasting more than 4 hours, contact your weatherman"
Ted: heh
MichelleH: dare I ask what virga rainfall is?
bob: gah. now I have "it's raining men" stuck in my head
Ted: it's rain that evaporates before hitting the ground
ErinH: cool
bob: heh. premature evaporation.

#32991
(JMulder): Hey bitch
(fleet): Hey JMulder
(fleet): ...
(fleet): why the hell did I just respond to bitch?
(BigRo): ...habit?

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