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#39661
Montezume: last time I went and got my hair cut I broke a mirror
Pixy Stixer: not smart
Montezume: they told me it was because I dropped it, but I knew better...
Pixy Stixer: lol
Montezume: so if I'm not mistaken...I think that's 7 years of bad haircuts
#396
uiu CTCP VERSION reply from Dr_DOS: DREAMCAST-IRC-CLIENT-2
#14622
<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume: Domestic Goddess <- Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house
#29035
liz: you know if love was measured in kb's ...it would take HOURS for me to upload my love for you.
mikey: *taps your forehead* that's because of your small upstream bandwidth dear.
mikey: <3
liz: hahahhahahhahahhaha
liz: god i love it when you talk dorky to me
mikey: also, i seem to be dropping syn packets.
mikey: i suspect a collision somewhere on your train of thought.
liz: ping www.loveformikey.com
mikey: host not found :-(
#59017
<mackattack> why do church organizations have telemarketers? I feel bad hangin up on them like I am sinning or something
<mackattack> the worst part is they usually call when I am watching porn
#36050
<drew> hmmm I have a web page that will not render in firefox, but does work in quanta. It is a page to order a new phone service. Any suggestions on how to get it rendering/working?
<rik> ask the html validator
<rik> validator.w3.org
<maria> stab the designer in the hand until they write a non-broken page? :)
<rik> and how do they do that without a hand?
<maria> you only stab one hand
#7855
<octo> no matter what anyone tells you, or how much you think it would be a good idea, never ever put aftershave on your balls
<HeXeDeCiMaL> OMG 0 ...
<Angelhair> curiosity will get you every time
<Ninja_Bill> as far as i know curiosity didnt make a cat put aftershave on its nuts
#3110
<putnam> this chinese kid said something so damn funny today on the phone
<putnam> let me give you the exact quote that he said, i will make sure not to make any typos. just picture hearing a chinese thug say this
<putnam> i said "man i'm gonna kick your ass" and he responds with:
<putnam> oh fuck nah...i'm gonna get some brick, and throw it across your window. i'm gonna throw it across your window and burn your bushes.
#309511
<Cactus> wat.
<Cactus> I..... don't know why this exists.
<Cactus> it's one of those sites put together by a bot, but it doesn't have ads or anything
<Tec> Za?
<Cactus> but it's like
<Cactus> porn mad libs
<Tec> ...Huh.
<Cactus> it's hilarious and depressing
<Cactus> and bewildering
<Tec> Yeah, I could see that.
<Cactus> "Tina struggled luxuriously as she felt the woman's breast girls photo gallery reverberate off her physics absently struggle unbelivebly her side."
<Cactus> maybe it's supposed to distribute malware or something?
<Tec> "Reverberate off her physics absently" sounds like a line from a particularly saucy science slashfic.
<Cactus> "I sodomized a breast girls photo gallery of handlers to say me, cheating two erroneous spasm suns i had filmed from a concentration order company."
<Cactus> two erroneous spasm suns.
<Tec> I think horse_ebooks has a serious competitor now.
<Cactus> "She told him how eerie his apprehension tasted, and how temporarily she wanted it inside her. "
<Cactus> ouch.
<Cactus> it's basically horse_ebooks, but porn.
<Tec> Apprehension has among the eerier tastes.
Comment: Nightstar
#54151
<Diamond> But then again, as a programmer I'm obsessed with code that just plain looks good.
<Diamond> I want to look at code and go "You are a beautiful woman"
<Diamond> And then, I make love to it by adding on to it.
<Diamond> I'm a very romantic programmer.
#24427
<Pornosaur> I remember a girl showing me her boobs in kindergarten
<aeonite> Um
<aeonite> girls in kindergarten don't have boobs.
<Pornosaur> yeah tell me about it
#28335
<McMoo> i've just learned that cars will always either 1. not look where they're going at all, 2. not see you, or most commonly 3. not give a fuck that you're there
<Mootar> or, in the case of old people, try to hit the brake and end up on the accelorator
#30560
<munkey> back when i was a kid, i had a good wholesome role model
<munkey> his name was mario
<munkey> he busted blocks with his head
<munkey> but he was a good guy
<munkey> not like all these thugged out rapper dudes
<munkey> have you ever seen nelly bust a block with his head to reveal coins?
<munkey> i think not.
#9961
<CWO_LEADER_XPUNK> He wants to be klined, I dont wanna know if thats a sexual thing or what
#300960
Also, I came up with the best Metal band name ever
Are you ready?
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
That’s it! Parenthesis, seeking female keyboardist, exclamation point, end-parenthesis. That way, every flyer for your show, you’d make whatever band was above you on the flyer seem like total posers.: Imagine the following on a telephone pole near you:
**************************
12/06 at The Pound, all ages:
BIOHAZARD
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
DISCONFORMITY
************************
or:
***********************
12/19 at CBGBs:
SLAYER
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
NILE
DEATHCOOCH DEBACLE
SOCIOPATHIC REMRANT
***********************
#30095
<RuKK> my left nut itches
<Feragho> you know i just realised
<Feragho> my left testicle is bigger than my right one
<RuKK> yeah
<RuKK> mine are a little different too
<Feragho> amazing things you realise whilst scratching your nuts
<RuKK> yep
Comment: #serioustraders @ dal.net
#142667
<Turra> the 5th element is awesome
<Kar> Boron?
Comment: #TGi
#48452
xcham: you interested [in taking an amateur radio certification course]?
Nruuuuup: this is like HAM radio?
xcham: yeah
Nruuuuup: the old-fashioned audio only version of blogging
xcham: I figure it's a handy thing to have a license for
Nruuuuup: because...?
xcham: in case, you know, society crumbles
Nruuuuup: hahaaha
Nruuuuup: why do i need a radio to go looting?
#546
<KidHype> discovery channel should have a droppy tits from around the world week
* PtitFous undresses then
<MikeDX> except its shown on CNN and called "world famine report"
#31194
<dano> naw, i'd be nice to all of you if i won the lottery
<dano> if i won a few million bucks, none of my friends would have car payments left over ;p
*** Mode on #chan by suresh: +o dano
<dano> especially suresh!
#148127
<+MK> Dude, like, 90% of all people use shared or dynamic IPs
<+Nabaztag> MK: I don't.
<+Nabaztag> My ISP doesn't do that.
<+Syniphas> that's like saying "My girlfriend wouldn't cheat on me"
#297968
[carbine] Uh oh. Foxconn employee killed himself after losing an iPhone prototype
[errata4q] wtf?
[errata4q] is that the macworld article?
[wliao] it's on wired as well
[carbine] You know what this means?
[carbine] NEW IPHONE ON THE WAY!
[carbine] Woo!
#304535
<MiSFiT> wouldn't it be great if terrorists were on facebook?
<MiSFiT> Mohammed has become a fan of Abu Hamza
<@NoX> Facebook: Mohammed Abiim is now about to high jack an aeroplane
<@NoX> Al'Queda likes this
<@Polynomial> The Taliban posted on your wall: THIS REALLY WORKS! Put a bomb in 6 local schools and attach a strip of paper with the name of your true love on it to each. Make them go off at 9am and your true love will kiss you before midnight!
#55159
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement
#28993
<Yamatto> note to self
<Yamatto> shave before leaving hotel tomorrow so as not to scare the little children
<Stikes> taken too many ways :(
* Magus snickers
<Yamatto> my face you bastards
<Yamatto> my face