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#300375
<jspath> woohoo perl 5.10 and // !
<abryan> hey jim are you using the // operator?
<abryan> I've been avoiding using any 5.10 features... but I guess we can start since we're running it most everywhere now
<ben_alman> i use the // operator in javascript
<ben_alman> whenever i encounter some of jim's code
<ben_alman> i just use that operator and everything works again
#27254
<Syl_Aran> I won't be able to have sex, i don't have a condom.
<TheHumanCow> syl, use a duct tape condom
<Syl_Aran> O_o
<Syl_Aran> THC: fuck that
<TheHumanCow> exactly
#10203
<DIguana> Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany.
#306475
[about Stony Brook "SB Guardian"]
<tonyb> "With this feature users can set a time that coincides with the time they expect to travel from one location on campus to another. If the caller arrives safely and deactivates their timer, the University Police Department will never receive notification that a timer was ever set. " ahahaha
[...]
<fahadsadah> What happens when your phone battery runs out?
<tonyb> Well, the police come of course
<nathan> and arrest you for battery?
#74243
<Omi> My brother thought it'd be funny to take keys from my keyboard and put them around the house
<Omi> And where he hid them depended on the key, so it was relevant in some way
<Omi> So he put the 'T' in the kitchen
<Omi> The up arrow on some porn mags
<Omi> The insert key in my stash of condoms
<Omi> The 'P' key in the bathroom
<Omi> The Print Screen key beside the digital camera
<Omi> The Delete key in the bin
<Omi> And the Escape key on an old French holiday brochure
#2789
<brucet> i pay for my internet access - i pay you to HELP me .. so someone better start to tell me how to do it or i'm going to complain about you to my ISP
<brucet> HAHA - you wont call me a lamer when u get sacked by the ISP - i have just wrote an e-mail to them now explaining that you wont help!!
#29456
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#14794
<blur_> i just got a buncha penises flashed at me :(
<blur_> i somehow setup cuseeme to accept all incoming requests
<blur_> and like
<blur_> theres naked men out there apparently
#305292
<marshalldavis> new pet peeve - users registering with our site who have a www prefix on the email address
<marshalldavis> this one had his resume as a wps and stuck a .doc on the end...
<BadMojo> I started using PDF after finding out that many recruiters/headhunters were changing my resume. They didn't typically have access to tools to edit my PDF.
<RangerRick> I always send mine in a custom binary format, zipped along with a text file of the spec on how to implement a parser
<RangerRick> it's a custom variant of UNICODE, called UTF-13
<tyler_wylie> RangerRick: nah it should be UTF-|-15| ( absolute value)
<BadMojo> I hand over a platinum plate, laser etched with my resume, and attached to a replica of a voyager space probe.
Comment: #opennms
#16904
<kdoom> Duke: you need a hobby
<DukeNukem> kdoom: like beastiality?
<kdoom> perfect
#27216
<Fig> Sooo, what is 'mk'?
<tetsugin> mk = ok - o + m
<Fig> I just remebered why I quit algebra.
#34313
* LittleWolfLS dresses in a Japanese sailor schoolgirl uniform
* Lenoh becomes all evil and tentaclerapes LittleWolfLS
<LittleWolfLS> DO NOT TENTACLE RAPE YOUR OPS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
<Lenoh> DO NOT PUT A SAILOR UNIFORM ON WITHOUT EXPECTING TO GET TENTACLE RAPED
<LittleWolfLS> damn, Lenoh's got me beat here
Comment: w00t
#4322
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.
#16449
*** Big_Daddy changes topic to '(@ALbino) i sucked nwar, but not like i had a choice :)'
(Big_Daddy) that is in fact NOT taken out of context btw :)
(nwar) nor is it edited in anyway
(ALbino) bd always takes my stuff out of context
(ALbino) what he's not telling you is that nwar was bitten by a poisonous snake and in order to save nwar's life i had to suck the poison out. so, in fact, i am not a raging homosexual with dong-swallowing tendancies, but rather, a hero. someone to be looked up to and respected :)
(Big_Daddy) who eats the cock :)
(ALbino) besides the point :)
(ALbino) surely you aren't suggesting that just because a guy likes to gargle a little cock every now and then that he can't be a hero to the masses :)
(Big_Daddy) now you're saying nwar has a little cock?
#22078
<ElDuderino> I heard having sex with women made you gay
<Shai-Gar> is that why youve never tried it mark?
#40269
E/a: thanks for getting back to me sara
E/a: *tip hat*
sara: hahahah hats are so pre-internet
#23622
* +Soul-Reaver continues his evil nocturnal deeds
<+Cyrrex> wackin it again, eh SR?
#26292
*IgnusDei learned that no matter how bad things are, it will never be quite as bad as the time he masturbated in the adult secton of the video store...which of course was under vidcam surveillance
<IgnusDei> ZING!
<m|tutorial> if i didnt like the current topic
<m|tutorial> that would be there right now
<DrFurious> it could be worse
<DrFurious> you could have masturbated in the gay adult section of the video store
#11427
<DannyBoy> Hey CB, do you have any old website interface templates laying around that you have no use for? =8)
<Cowboy_w3rk> er
<Cowboy_w3rk> <html><body>insert content</body></html>
<Cowboy_w3rk> there ya go
<DannyBoy> wonderful
<DannyBoy> hey, that looks like shit
#10745
<Atlas> Wouldn't it be easier to sneak a gun in, shoot Ben, and STEAL BEN STEIN'S MONEY!
#4202
<kr0ss> some idiot on the radio said dildos are banned in alabama
<X-Spectre> dildos proably were banned like a hundred years ago with some dumb law and they haven't changed it yet
<CiXeL> cant ban broomstick handles
#59734
KingFelix: Oh, dear, that's funny. Glad I caught that!
KingFelix: I just created a new account for the Naval Academy on one of our services, & the randomly-generated password came out as "KILLNAVY". had to fix that right quick!
#27273
* moralove has joined #SimGames
<moralove> !list
<moralove> !find simcity
<sine-wave> !goaway
<sine-wave> !nowarezhere
<moralove> !haveagooddaynegativity
* moralove has left #SimGames
#304474
<@Fingers> soooooo
<@Fingers> anyone else familiar with the Xerox Phaser 8200/8400 printers?
<@Fingers> specifically the ink blocks they use?
<@Fingers> you know, the ones that are basically big blocks of colored wax, kind of like crayons?
<Genesys> neat
<@Fingers> now, I say "kind of like" because obviously, they ARE NOT crayons
<Genesys> aww
<@Fingers> however
<@Fingers> it appears that distinction was lost on one of my coworkers
<@Fingers> who decided that the best course of action when the yellow ink sticks ran low was NOT to order replacements
<@Fingers> but instead, to jam a shit-ton of yellow Crayolas into the yellow feed slot
<Genesys> you are kidding, right?
<@Fingers> no
<@Fingers> I am not
<@Fingers> at least she removed the paper wrapper first
<@Fingers> "well, they're both just colored wax, right?"
<@Fingers> sure
<@Fingers> and gasoline and diesel are just petroleum products, either should work fine
<@Fingers> I'm trying to remove the ink feed assembly to see if I can chisel this nasty crayon mess out of the printer
<@Fingers> FUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Comment: Fingers works in education. These people are teaching your children!