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#21034
<Hatter_ui> Honestly, could you love yourself anymore you fuck?
<Otto> As a matter of fact, yes.
<Otto> My ribs are being removed as we speak.
#4743
<Object> well if a girl can speak of how different men taste and how it relates to their physic I'd say she's pretty much a slut
#58434
Xeno: So I bought a 8lbs watermelon... Cut it in half and had half of it the other night and went 'Shit I'll never eat 4 fucking pounds of watermelon ever again."
Xeno: ...well I forgot and now I'm in the same pain.
#53737
leet42: someone at the fortune cookie company has a sense of humor
leet42: "the fortune you seek is in another cookie"
#52892
<+Karuma|Spooky> Boxes are fun...
<%robert> you have no idea how right you are
<%robert> nothing like a good box to reduce stress
* Karuma|Spooky made fun shelves from boxes.
<+Karuma|Spooky> ^^
<%robert> I do'nt know about you, but I'm talking about vaginas
<@Stray_Pussy> lol
<%robert> and I know for a fact that most girls get pissed when you try to store things in their vaginas
#21411
<Dr_Ian> WHY ARE ALL AUSTRALIANS OBSESSED WITH THE APOCALYPSE?!
<ShinAkuma> i dont know?
<Bu||et> Kola says its because Kangaroo's smoke shoes
<Dr_Ian> I think its because australia would look exactly the same if a nuke it hit it
#22
<`Xenocide> Bolstered by the state of Kansas' recent measure removing the requirement for the teaching of evolution in public schools, yesterday afternoon the Mississippi legislature passed a bill eliminating fractions and decimal points from the mathematics curriculum of all public secondary schools in the state.
#5598
<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
#1611
<tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a minimal octal instead of puging the cache
#31711
<OldManPeterson> once, i was fucking this girly doggy style and she farted right. really loud too, well the bitch looks at me and goes 'its talking to you". so i was like, 'well, tell it to stfu"
#10737
<kas> did you getta message from Mike last night?
<kas> he msged you on aim
<SDMF> he msged me?
<kas> i put in big bold letters
<kas> JOHN ITS MIKE LETS CYBER NOW
<kas> and yur roommate answered
<kas> and was like who's this
<kas> and ize like
<kas> Johns cyber boyfriend, Mike
<kas> is he there?
<kas> i wanna cyber sooo bad
<kas> yur roommate blocked me or signed off
#301761
<Reunech> So I take this physics test, my midterm if I'm correct, and I did alright. The last question, however, was a bitch. I spent more than half the test on it and by the end I had this ridiculously convoluted equation and was looking at a big fat zero out of five for that question. Which would suck.
<Reunech> At this point I figure: "Fuck it, I'm gonna get it wrong anyway."
<Reunech> So I underline it, write "this is very wrong" and then draw an arrow, just to be safe.
<Reunech> I get the midterm back with the comment "Its good to know when you're wrong," and only two points off.
<Reunech> I did better than my friend who studied for three days.
<Reunech> By three points.
Comment: He hit me.
#33457
<Ethel> Actually, if we're talking about Spam, I kept a tin of Spam all the way through university. For my 21st birthday, a group of friends and I ceremonially openned it in the EE&E common room and had Spam, ketchup and white bread sandwiches
<Matt> and then puked your little guts up?
<Ethel> The only thing we'd forgotten was a knife to cut the Spam, so we used a protractor instead.
<Matt> Ethel: hardcore engineers
<Ethel> This adventure was reprised at my wedding reception
<Clive> Ethel: You fed people spam at your wedding reception?
<Ethel> Clive: no, I nipped to the loo after the starter and returned to discover that my cutlery had been replaced with a geometry set and that I was being served Spam, white bread and Tesco Value ketchup.
<Ethel> I was touched
<Clive> You were touched while still in the loo, or when you got back to the main room?
<Clive> Surely it's against the norms of etiquette to touch the groom at a wedding?
<Ethel> Clive: now that would be telling
#30358
<KidHype--> Anyone try Fifa2004 yet?
<J3anyus> If that's your mom's AIM screen name, then yes.
#38174
<+nemnock> yo imagine if electric cars could harness the power of lightning
<+nemnock> they would be faster than gasoline cars
<@Justinian> ...
<@SonicVIBE> nemnock
<@m0rn> hehe
<@SonicVIBE> shut your face.
<@Justinian> seriously
<+nemnock> hahaa
<+nemnock> lightning would be like a shot of nos
<@Justinian> that's in contention for the dumbest thing ever said in here
Comment: Par for the course folks.
#16712
<Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
<Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that people're
<Deke> coming over
<Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
<Deke> most people find coins
<Deke> we find disk drives
#11969
<blitzoid> Goddamn... skid marks on underwear are bad, but you know you've been sitting for too long when you see them on your chair.
#1128
~ iiSII has a bump on the very edge of his eyelid.
(tektrnica) maybe it is a tumour
(letty) or an ingrown toenail
#39676
<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders
#855
<EFX> does the cum in an australian girls throat go down counter clockwise?
#32718
<Allahkat> I would like to do a comparison between fraknet's #fark and #frak.
<Allahkat> #Frak: <ocean2> a^2 + b^2 = c^2
<Allahkat> <ocean2> where c is the longest side of a triangle
<Allahkat> #Fark: <Allahkat> Well, if you have a small weener, you can put it in my bum.
<Allahkat> <Wintermute> front bum?
<Allahkat> <Allahkat> Both bums.
<ocean2> haha
<Allahkat> Does anyone see a slight difference?
<ocean2> i'm not sure
<Allahkat> HAHA
Comment: Channel comparison
#61924
<MadMax> Which is a better question to spend time and money thinking about:
<MadMax> How was the universe created?
<Catch-22> or, Are those real?
#3019
<yossarian> theres a hole in my bucket
<tomg> yossarian: did microsoft make it?
<yossarian> yes, MSBucket
<tomg> have they made a patch for it yet?
<tomg> no, they probably want you to upgrade to Bucket.NET
<yossarian> with what shall i fix it dear microsoft, dear microsoft?
<tomg> well the CBR (common bucket runtime) will have embedded security to prevent leaks
#6781
<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I", "myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.
#61211
<@TheOracle> the top reason I like alcoholic investors, they cant remember if they wrote the check or not so they keep writing more