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#31557
<CanOfSpam> I spent my lunchbreak at work stealing my neighbor's wife, kicking his ass, and getting her pregnant.
<CanOfSpam> The Sims is the way to be!
<CanOfSpam> Im gonna nap for 2 hours and think about whether to show up at work.
<CanOfSpam> bbl
<emil^> cos - have fun!
<Glock21> You'll be sitting at your computer after days of insomnia... you're work habits will go to hell, your personal relationships will suffer, you'll go broke... and as you're sitting there in the middle of the night with a full bladder you suddenly realize that your sim has with a great deal of your own personal effort...
<Glock21> ...has a great job, a great house full of great stuff, a great girlfriend, plenty of sleep, a better computer than you, and is happier, healthier, and made it to the bathroom just fine because you suffer for him.
Comment: EFNet #politics
#8470
<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.
#56417
<Beeble_> skip you're cute
<skippy_> i'm 5ft tall
<skippy_> i have to be cute
<skippy_> or live under a bridge
<skippy_> and eat goats
<skippy_> i went with cute
<Beeble_> good choice
<skippy_> i'm beginning to rethink that
<skippy_> chicks don't like cute guys
<skippy_> they like bad guys
<skippy_> "have you seen any goats around?"
<skippy_> that would be a great pickup line
#16480
<Aatakinty> afk, im supposed to be sleeping, and i hear my mom walkin around
#10695
<@Nfs> what good is all the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
<@BLiNGO> umm
<@BLiNGO> you dont need fame to fuck models
<@Nfs> but its gettin hot in herre, so take off all your clothes..
<@BLiNGO> i am gettin so hot, i will take my clothes off
* @BLiNGO sets mode: -clothes BLiNGO
#308135
sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
<TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders...
#9108
<Lex> So, I support your decision to halt any imminent blowjobs with questions. :)
#280960
Yan: This one time i was at a girlfriend's house
Yan: Spent the night there and everything went well
Yan: It was like 11:30 and we were in her basement and i was tired as hell so i told myself ill nap for like 30 minutes and then leave
Yan: I woke up and it was like 7:30 am. So i wake the girl up, she freaks out and asks why the fuck am i still home. She then tells me to leave and get out quick by the window.
Yan: Great idea except i had this oldschool Datsun 510 track ready that was so fucking loud i couldnt leave with it.
Yan: She wakes her parents up and tells them i slept over and nothing happened bla bla. Her dad comes out of the bedroom.
Yan: This guy is BIG ex military deep voice just plain scary. Looks at me and says "hey come to breakfast with us" i of course just wanna bounce. He insists and says "whats wrong? Had too much desert last night?"
Yan: I don't even know how i left after that.
#33692
<BasSCadeT> man my cat pissed on my bed the other day (this is gross) and i rolled over into it face first
#56160
<ddrfreak> 58 points
<ddrfreak> 7 deaths
<ddrfreak> I AM A FUCKIN MACHINE!
<yeats> You killed 7 people during sex?
#31
<EM[mMF]> man
<EM[mMF]> unix manuals would be so much cooler
<EM[mMF]> if they had porn in them
<EM[mMF]> like "Basics of the Bash Shell"
<EM[mMF]> <LESBIAN PORN>
<EM[mMF]> i'd read that shit
#16848
< espo> this movie would be better if Mel Brooks made it
< h2odragon> schindler's list?
#36219
<@Xial> Command line interface terminal. :o
<@Xial> Women are COMPUTERS!!!!
* @Xial has scary realization
<+Nulike> :O
<@Xial> Seriously!
<@Xial> Why do you think we have so much control over them when we use the Command line interface terminal properly?
<+Nulike> Enlighten us!
<@Xial> Because it's powerful. A well interfaced CLIT is a happy CLIT, and a happy CLIT means we are treated well, in return. XD
<+Nulike> O_O
<@Xial> Makes sense? :3
<@Xial> Plus,
<+Nulike> Worst of all, it does.
<@Xial> some women tell us what to do when we're using it, sorta like pressing the help key
<@Xial> "Ooooh, slooooooowwwww..." for example
<@Xial> If you get a "Stop Teasing, and FUCK ME NOW!", you've likely done it right XD
<+Nulike> @.@;
Comment: #voices / DarkMyst; Xial's apparently had too much sugar and caffeine.
#25183
<mig|sluice> trillian, like a capitalist social-democracy, will suit me until I see something better to take its place.
#18162
Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> : taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!!
PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that on my front website
#7255
<Hedge> yeah, loud music during sex really works. it's easy to keep the motion to a beat
<Kharnifex> mmmm yeah, but i'd have to get more fit to have sex again
<TRIPtych> «WinAmp» Now Playing: Funker Vogt - Word of Power (High Speed Mix)
<TRIPtych> id like to see u keep up to this hedge =p
<Kharnifex> *gets rectinol*
<TRIPtych> d00f d00f d00f
<Kharnifex> and the slapping noise of testical against ass
<Hedge> i think i saw the How To video of that
<Kharnifex> i just dloaded the pdf file
#12088
<DrStrange> i want to be sodomized by lezbians with strap on pickles.
#38749
<@moses1> i used the word fucktard in front of one of my friends and hes like "OMG FUCKTARD, IM GONNA USE THAT ALL THE TIME NOW"
<@moses1> i just went
<@moses1> ..
<@julian`> you went up two directories?
#2889
<Berzerker> Life is hard.
<Berzerker> unfortunately, you arent.
<Berzerker> call the national impotency hotline. 1-800-GET-BONE
#8993
<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!
#32730
<@Bringa> war3 is much more rewarding.. you need to actually MATCH UP against other real opponents
<@Bringa> you develop some sort of skill
<@Bringa> and measure it with other people
<@Bringa> whereas in Diablo2 it's like penis vs hand
< Nens> lol
<@Bringa> stroke stroke stroke click click oh look I came a Grandfather.
< Nens> multiplayer masterbation is good :p
<@Bringa> Great
<@Bringa> then you get together with others and compare cumstains.
< Nens> lol
<@Bringa> Yeah it's great and all at first
<@Bringa> novelty value
<@Bringa> but once the stink sets in...
#12899
<DireWolf> My life'd be a whole lot cooler if Vikings invaded every once in a while.
#1674
<SlimZ> i like my pickup line
<SlimZ> "move i need to get a drink"
#4875
<pimp> im going to go play with my toys now
<RiP> that means hes going to play with himself right
<pimp> no, im going to go play with my X-Men action figures
#11437
<ccc> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this: You're a Siamese twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder is gay and you're not. But you only have one ass.