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#41108
<WeirdHat> so I went to the LOTR thing at the museum of science
<WeirdHat> when we were in the line to get in
<WeirdHat> there was a guy at the front with a microphone to tell us all the rules, no cameras allowed and things like that, blah blah blah
<WeirdHat> when he started, the volume on the microphone was set too loud
<WeirdHat> so he joked "THIS IS GOD" and then fixed the volume and went on with the telling us stuff
<WeirdHat> and when he was done
<WeirdHat> a little girl behind me said
<WeirdHat> "was that REALLY god?"
#5304
<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'
#2039
<hypr> joker is playing all his vinyl from 1998
<hypr> heh
<hypr> or somthing
<hypr> old ;P
<caspuh> hah
<caspuh> 98?
<caspuh> they had vinyal then?
#31531
<[J|F]> It's freaky when porn has good stereo sound, it feels like I forgot to turn off my speakers and everyone can hear.
<[J|F]> oh shit.
#69477
<Omi> So yeah, this idiot was trying to insult me
<Omi> By calling me gay
<Omi> Then she said, and I quote,
* Omi looks up Logs
<Omi> "thts rite u cnt reli sspeak wiv ur cock stuck in ur mouth or up another guys arse"
<Omi> So... not only did she compliment me by saying my cock is so big I can fit it in my own mouth...
<Omi> But she made absolutely no sense what so ever with the second part...
<Omi> How exactly would having a cock on someones ass prevent you from talking?
#55217
<imprfect> So my mum ended up calling me and asked me to come over her.
<imprfect> *Here! HERE! HERE DAMMIT!
#303694
<locutox> Thank you for participating GNSS 2010. Your paper "Detection of RF Interference to GPS using day-to-day C/No differences" has been accepted for oral.
<locutox> WOOHOO MY PAPER IS GETTING ORAL
#245012
<Ailure> what is divisible by zero?
<blackhole89> a miserable little pile of exceptions
#43365
<Aelia> and he had like 200 GB of hentai -_-
* Smile checks how much he has.
<Ceras> good old hentai
<Smile> 300mb.
<Smile> -.-' no telling Juney.
* Smile holds a knife to everyone.
<Ceras> omg...what a loser....
<sp3tt> Smile... ever heard of bash.org?
<Smile> Yes.
<Smile> OH SHIT
#6266
<Masharoni> after that i vowed to clench my ass when barfing
#300619
<sandm> if there are any tools to analyze memory leaks etc?
<_habnabit> valgrind.
<delimax> valgrind
<Chris> valgrind!!
<sandm> thanx all for answers....
<Chris> you're welcome, it helps to get different answers from different points of view.
#310556
<meeb> only windows laptop in the flat is currently updating itself (forced reboot)
<meeb> it's installing update.... 14 of 3
<meeb> and is on 824%
<Erasmus> meeb, think of how super up to date that laptop will be
#300818
<Crispy`> my friend is making my other friend's girlfriend rage on facebook by arguing with her about how Twilight is the dumbest shit ever
<Crispy`> so I created Twilight for Men.
<Crispy`> government scientist fused DNA with Hayden P. and Mila Kunis to create the hottest woman ever with big titties and a nice ass, and she's all over my dick but it turns out she's a pirate and I'm like "omg but I want to be a pirate" and she's all naked near me and shit and I'm like "you're the most perfect thing ever" ... See Moreand she's like "I know, now fuck me"
<Crispy`> and then all the sudden it turns out the government actually made someone else who was fused from the DNA of Kristen Bell and Elisha Cuthbert and she shows up and is like "what the fuck but I want your dick more." and I'm like "D:"
<Crispy`> and then the Kristen and Elisha fusion is like "OH AND IM A NINJA SHITYEAH" and I'm like "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NINJAS VS PIRATE" and then this was my face when they were fighting a war near me " :O "
<Crispy`> with none of them wearing shirts oh and they all have super nice tits and are not fat at all and are the most perfect looking women ever and then they all want my dick so bad it's hard for me to choose and also whether I want to be a Ninja or Pirate it's a very tough decision.
#37843
<TrafficCone> Me: "So would you sleep with me for a milion bucks?"
<TrafficCone> Her: "I guess. Thats a lota money."
<TrafficCone> Me: "How about 50 bucks?"
<TrafficCone> Her: "What do you think I am, a filthy whore?"
<TrafficCone> Me: "Well we know what you are, now we're just negotiating the price."
<TrafficCone> Earned me a slap, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, and I stand by that decision.
#302079
<+Toujiron> Probably best day.
<%Misty> What happened?
<+Toujiron> I have this felt super mushroom hat, right?
<+Toujiron> I wore it out today because I'm ridiculous
<+Doak> awesome
<+Toujiron> My roommate left his work boots at home and called me to ask me to bring them to him at work, because he wouldn't have time after class.
<+Toujiron> So on my way there, I go through an intersection I usually don't because I don't have a reason to go near there, and the setting sun is in my eyes, so I have no idea that there's a stop sign there.
<+Toujiron> I am immediately pulled over by a city patrol car.
<+Toujiron> The cop walks up to my window, looks at me, my hat, and listens to my speakers for a second which are playing a rainbow road remix.
<%Misty> Please tell me he broke down laughing
<+Toujiron> Without even asking me for my ID, he leans in and says, "Son, when there's a stop sign in front of you, you have to stop hitting the golden mushroom. I know it'll disappear, but it's the law, alright?"
<%Misty> Oh that's even better
<+Toujiron> Before I could even answer that he told me to drive safe and walked away.
<+Neo-Kamek> lolololol
<+Toujiron> I have never been so entertained to be caught breaking laws.
<+Doak> Best.
<+WingedBeaux> my wife just loled at that story tou
<+WingedBeaux> is there an opposite to f my life? cause that would be it right there
#35205
<LabRat> google is smart so I don't have to be.
#300594
Shayne: She said she's gonna call me soon. And i think she's going to tell me she loves me. But she thinks i'm clueless. How should i react?
Jesse: your asking a guy who has been single for 4 years for relationship advice?
Shayne: Oh right
Shayne: Umm
Jesse: just be all shocked and like suprised i guess
Shayne: Ok hold on
Shayne: Lets say i was a really good irc user. And an admin told me he had a suprise for me and i knew he was gonna give me ops. How should i react?
Shayne: Seriously... Answer the fuckin question lol
Jesse: you did not just ...oh...my...god
#50239
<Shinji> Man, if I had more money and less dignity, I'd go to an animecon with a fake tentacle up my ass. Just for the looks.
#2469
<conceited> i cant sleep till i know im using up half of the neighborhood bandwidth
#37255
<gullberg> derb^ircdruk? drunk? :D
<derb^ircdruk> indeed :D
<gullberg> nice :D
<derb^ircdruk> have to drive in about 3½ hours
<derb^ircdruk> you know, car and shit
<derb^ircdruk> I'm going to crash so much
<gullberg> Then dont drive ;)
<gullberg> sleep instead :D
<derb^ircdruk> no
<gullberg> why not?
<derb^ircdruk> need my driver's license
#28462
<avarrin> sup manda
<avarrin> :)
<ShexyBish> hey you..
<ShexyBish> nada
<ShexyBish> bored as fucjk
<ShexyBish> er
<ShexyBish> ruck
<ShexyBish> danm
<avarrin> haha
<ShexyBish> fuck
<hippyjoe> see
<hippyjoe> women and computers...
<ShexyBish> i havent even started drinking yet
#8487
<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure
<cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
#8667
<cryterion> that the girl had a nickname.
<cryterion> "mouse"
<cryterion> have you ever stepped on a mouse's tail?
<cryterion> and heard it squeak?
<cryterion> this girl did that at the point of orgasm.
<cryterion> "EEEEEEEEEEEE!
#297918
<Fyad> When I bought siemens cellphone, siemens sold its cellular section. When I bought yakumo screen, yakumo got bunkrupt. When I bought fujitsu-siemens laptop, siemens sold its share.
<Fyad> Just curious what to buy next...
<r_heart> apple
<hoobsta> Apple
<sailo> apple
#1916
-PDC:#windowsnt- MCSE = Must Consult Someone Experienced
(L0ki) MCSE=Mindsweeper Consultant and Solitare Expert
(nexxai) MCSE = Must Consult (with) Someone Else