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#61017
Mattykins: i just did the stupidest thing evar
The Kaos Jester: Installed OS X?
Mattykins: okay i thought i broke my NIC on OS X right
Mattykins: cause it said "The Ethernet cable for Built-In Ethernet is not plugged in." right
Mattykins: and that's what it says when it is broken
Mattykins: so i spend like three hours trying to fix it
Mattykins: and i look behind the computer
Mattykins: the fucking network cable is unplugged
#2219
<SD-Washu> i still love the msg i got on my voicemail earlier
<SD-Washu> that was l33t
<biafra> what
<SD-Washu> oh my voicemail msg is in japanese
<SD-Washu> and someone called and the only thing i heard was "what the fuc...."
<SD-Washu> followed by *click*
#119961
<Squirrel^^> hey hey
<Robin> what's shakin'?
<Squirrel^^> ur mum
<Robin> possibly
<Robin> thanks to the parkinsons disease and all
<Robin> :/
#6363
<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...
<JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.
#258
<subHero> Help! i just got my penis stuck in my cdrom!!1
<johndoe92> grab a kleenex and hit 'eject'
#297012
ambulance: on my dryer machine the ignition knob is an oven knob for some reason
ambulance: I turn it to 'broil' to start my dryer
#61180
* Joins: redryan_
<Trinexx> ryan! :D
<Trinexx> dude, where you been at?
<redryan_> man, I have no fucking idea. I went outside to get the mail, next thing I know I've got a job and a social life
#31491
<Gil_AFK> I need to get laid. BRB, bugging gf.
<AndroSyn> heh
<Gil_AFK> looks like iam out of luck
<Gil_AFK> BRB, retry 1 in 120 seconds
<Gil_AFK> i'am hammering her :)
#46477
<Goat> see? Look at how cool it is. That's why i put it as my homepage.
<girl__> Goat: change your nick. "Goatse? Look at how cool it is. That's why i put it as my homepage."
*** "Goat" is now known as "Tub"
<Tub> Girl, I love thee for pointing that out. =)
#16812
Pat877: nice...
OB1Jenobe: w3rd
Pat877: ok stop that
OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
Pat877: i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
Pat877: dick
#56099
<Qwote> I just found out how the universe is going to end.
<Hax0r> how?
<Qwote> Someone will put two mirrors together and leave them alone lone enough that the universe will run out of stack space, and a universal segmentation fault will occour.
#3777
<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)
#4745
<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes
#27909
<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
#51078
<Shifter> well, jenn just dumped me.
<Shifter> god damnit im gonna miss her..
<Spazz> Time to update alt.binaries.adult, right?
#52786
<BigOne> Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
<BigOne> If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
<BigOne> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
<BigOne> If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
#968
<blazemore> i need to find a used ddr 3rd mix machine
*** Joins: DigDug (digdug@dialup-63.214.200.78.Philadelphia1.Level3.net)
<AlmtyBob> good fucking luck
<AlmtyBob> you're looking at $8000 wihtout shipping
<AlmtyBob> even used
<DigDug> whatcha talking about, bob?
<AlmtyBob> a filipina chick
<AlmtyBob> the ones you buy in exchange for bringing them to the us
<blazemore> my dad is thinking about helping pay for one so we can stick it in an arcade and make some money :o
#11906
<ima`> www.google.com
<boy_scout> Open up fucking IE you lazy bastard
<ima`> i don't know how to open IE any other way
#32107
<tinglanchio> i can't imagine you making a mother's day card
<tlozoot> I didn't
<tlozoot> although this is mighty fun
<tlozoot> I got her some yahoo shit
<tlozoot> heh
<tinglanchio> how thoughtful
<tlozoot> I dont' think she was too thrilled
<tlozoot> oh well.
<tlozoot> I tried... ok, I didn't try
<tlozoot> whatever
#3846
<d1cer> omfg
<d1cer> i just shit the bigest shit in the world
<d1cer> :/
<d1cer> it was like a fucking legg
<LivinDead> lol
<LivinDead> how big was it?
<d1cer> umm
<d1cer> k
<d1cer> hold on leme get my ruler
#116801
<@Foxhill> apparently when you piss in the sink, good etiquette says you're sposed to lift the plates up first
#33457
<Ethel> Actually, if we're talking about Spam, I kept a tin of Spam all the way through university. For my 21st birthday, a group of friends and I ceremonially openned it in the EE&E common room and had Spam, ketchup and white bread sandwiches
<Matt> and then puked your little guts up?
<Ethel> The only thing we'd forgotten was a knife to cut the Spam, so we used a protractor instead.
<Matt> Ethel: hardcore engineers
<Ethel> This adventure was reprised at my wedding reception
<Clive> Ethel: You fed people spam at your wedding reception?
<Ethel> Clive: no, I nipped to the loo after the starter and returned to discover that my cutlery had been replaced with a geometry set and that I was being served Spam, white bread and Tesco Value ketchup.
<Ethel> I was touched
<Clive> You were touched while still in the loo, or when you got back to the main room?
<Clive> Surely it's against the norms of etiquette to touch the groom at a wedding?
<Ethel> Clive: now that would be telling
#5647
<Plaid> We got the "Share Minutes" plan. Call it family bondage.
#888
<rob`> highschool was the best 7 years of my life
#7829
<rob`> o/` Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord o/`
<JakeStone> rob: Religious pr0n?
ð Kaijin can't come up with a next verse that s pronlike and scans.
<JakeStone> o/~ He was hammering the women hard and now they are quite sore o/~
ð Alaric can't remember enough of the Battle Hymn of the Republic to filk it
<rob`> o/` he hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword o/`
<rob`> I think the lyrics filk themselves. :)