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#125172
<davy> remember when braveheart came out and everyone said you can't have mel gibson playing a scottish guy cuz it wont be realistic?
<davy> well look at him now
<davy> an alcoholic racist
#3342
<smcn> To buy a PS2, or not to buy a PS2: that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the moral decay of selling my soul to Sony, or to never play Final Fantasy X?
#42941
<rompiku> I think I am going to wait until the hacker is in my computer, then I will disconnect from the internet and trap him inside
#33277
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet
Comment: #fark
#13475
<Sumez> Q3 arena test
<Aximili> What is it?
<Sumez> don't you know what Quake is?!?
<Aximili> YES, I know what Quake is
<Aximili> But 'Q3' could have stood for 'Quicktime 3' as far as I know
<Sumez> Quicktime 3 arena :P
<SpyFrog> but isn't quicktime up in version 4?
<Sumez> Spy: not the multiplayer version :)
#30461
<Calisa> "After his arrest in 1990 police found photographs that Black had taken of himself: one showed him with a wine-bottle up his anus, another with a telephone-handset, yet another with a table leg."
<FifthColumn> Sadly the inspectors drank from the wine bottle, talked on the telephone, and beat a minority with the table leg before they found the photographs.
#26308
Methodical Pain: but tomatoes are fruits
TheOffspring326: no they're not!
TheOffspring326: they merely prefer the company of other tomatoes, thats all!
#30049
<Lepper> bob would you have sex with your mom if she were hot?
<LkTrout1> Lepper's family tree is a straight line.
#286
<Infe> what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
<HomerJ> blows up
<Andrigaar> Don't they explode?
<Andrigaar> I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking battery acid.
<Infe> i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for 'rechargeables' and ---
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#3473
<Guilty> Oh shit who is watching the Olympics
<Guilty> Gay mans dream
<Guilty> In the ice skating relay thing
<Guilty> The guy going next sticks his ass out and the guy before him (skating up behind him) grabs the guy and grinds into his ass and then pushes
#15956
<mrm> i hate realplayer
<lummie> its good for cartoons
<mrm> yeah
<mrm> but it crawls deep into the anus of my computer
<mrm> and hides there eternally
<mrm> until i least expect it
<JtHM> your computer has an anus?!
<Fesh> realplayer installs it
#29383
<Dekkon> i used to deliver pizza
<maff> i used to deliver pizza from the box to my mouth
Comment: #geekissues
#25626
<shmooo> i cant wait to see my gf tonite
<shmooo> im gonna eat her sweet pussy
<gortho> we're happy for you
<shmooo> it's like sweet strawberries
<psmylie> what?!?
<psmylie> ...
<psmylie> you're a virgin, aren't you?
#29443
<MrBeanTroll> ah, San Francisco Personal Ads
<Ocean-Saurian> What aobut 'em?
<MrBeanTroll> you will never find a more retched hive of scum and villiany
<MrBeanTroll> I must be careful
<MrBeanTroll> "I'm looking for a cute strong guy with a truck to help me move a couch from Dolores Park to Oakland some time this week during the evening. I'll buy you dinner afterwards. Picture required."
#4397
<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms
#27415
<Gryffon> Just how old do you think I am Quake?
<QuaKe> Gryffon, do you really want me to answer that?
<Gryffon> yeah
<QuaKe> Fine, 13.
<Gryffon> well, your off by about 9 years
<QuaKe> 4?
#302893
<@teleolurian> if i were going to try fetishes
<@teleolurian> hair spitting would be #1
<@teleolurian> making her roll up a shadowrun character would be #2
<@minipulator> i realize that fetishes are sort of, by definition, not the norm, but i'm pretty sure at least one other person has to be into it to be considered a fetish
Comment: #smash on BashZen
#23525
[00:22] <ZioN]Infin1ty> i prefer being fat and have friends
[00:22] <SabrWolf> :D
[00:22] <ZioN]Infin1ty> than being lifeless like you
[00:22] <ZioN]Infin1ty> and sitting all home near the pc
[00:22] <SabrWolf> why do i have to repeat
[00:22] <ZioN]Infin1ty> time*
[00:22] <SabrWolf> they are only ur friends becuz they are scared u gonna eat them
#3985
<scummo> I was saying "eat a dick" even then, trying to get good grades by drawing pictures of shoes
<scummo> a tradition I keep up even today
<scummo> the 4.0 on the 15-page paper about the importance of midgets and dwarfs in film has to be my crown jewel
#7888
<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/
#43380
fac3less: boss sent me 'youre fired' in a pm as a joke..
fac3less: grabbed my jacket and left :P haha
bvierra: LOL
fac3less: "wait, wait, you know I was joking right?" "thats okay I'm serious" .. wish I could have that much fun everyday at work
Comment: #cpanel on efnet
#32531
<DimaV> http://bash.cx/?search=Gothic_CatGirl&order=quote_id&sort=asc&limit=25&approved=0
<Gothic_CatGirl> Holy crap
<Gothic_CatGirl> That's a lot
<DimaV> ur popular
<DimaV> ur like a porn star, only we get to talk to u
#41000
<Rogue> A few weeks ago my youngest came running out of the bedroom, using his underwear as a gun holdster, pulled out the gun, shot me with the little suction cup thing, then said "Gimme your money". Tell me that isn't a smart kid. It kills his victim before robbing them. Less of a struggle.
<frostyfx> wow you are a good father
Comment: #ug/irc.alternatenet.net
#28321
<Fat-Burrick> icq is a sentient being that wants to take over the world by pissing me off
#32697
<JohnWSmokeJr> i don't shower until i can smell my own balls