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#14692
<ShoeFlip6058>: I made this screenplay where a serial killer goes to random victims houses, goes into their bedrooms, and screams "DON'T WAKE UP" in their faces while they sleep. The wake up, see him, and they die of fright
<ShoeFlip6058>: I would cast Christopher Walken as the killer
<Claypeople>: Dude, if i saw christopher walken in person I'd die of fright
<Jenova>: He's a scary mofo
#21221
<AndrewLB> Hmm, my entire art class is going to think I'm gay, considering this is the second shirtless guy painting I've done for this art unit...
#121
<Dr_DOS> Cducharme: no wonder you get all the women, you choose all the ugly ones =)
#298889
<fahadsadah> "Free delivery on orders over £25 when collecting in store" < asda.co.uk
#29886
<Garf> Did you know, Alt+Z makes your text go backwards in most IRC clients?
<Garf> .ereh ti did I ?eeS
* Parts: Bamral (B1@xiph-IALHNG.ne.client2.attbi.com)
* Parts: Benjamin_L (~BenjaminL@xiph-IEIAFM.dip.t-dialin.net)
* Parts: menno (menno@cal16a041.student.utwente.nl)
* Parts: TheLink (TheLink@p213.54.189.36.tisdip.tiscali.de)
#14687
<player> oh i lag hard
<geez> lag=?
<player> that means my connection is slow
<geez> oh... i thought you said something dirty..
#306475
[about Stony Brook "SB Guardian"]
<tonyb> "With this feature users can set a time that coincides with the time they expect to travel from one location on campus to another. If the caller arrives safely and deactivates their timer, the University Police Department will never receive notification that a timer was ever set. " ahahaha
[...]
<fahadsadah> What happens when your phone battery runs out?
<tonyb> Well, the police come of course
<nathan> and arrest you for battery?
#8653
(¨) signoff/#housemartin.. erandus (Quit: If a guy builds 1000 bridges,
and sucks one cock, he isn't a bridge builder. He's a cock sucker.)
#154850
<@Genesis`> Dr Phil said: Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
<@Genesis`> i cant bend over that far :(
#6625
<@Greg> how do i start apps automatically when i log into os x?
<@desnarf> hit it with a hammer
<@desnarf> but you need a robot arm for it to happen automatically
#17813
<Raikenku> "Recent study shows Mac users are often more educated than Pc users"
<Magus> that's because any idiot can use a PC
<Magus> but it takes an art degree to use a mac :D
#10456
<Starscream> okay, you guys suck and blow simultaneously, making you all
excellent trumpet players.
#781
<D1> mp3[01 - s~1] [1m47s/1.23mb/96kbps]
<D1> arg
<D1> i need one of those mp3 name thingies
#28739
<+n0th1ng> after sex like 3 times a day with a girl, jacking off is really gay
<xcp> no, having sex with a guy is gay
#32505
(@Deranged): Damn.. I just found out that I have so many voices in my head, that I have to go to group therapy... By myself.
#31209
<matt> mang
<matt> i gotta send some logs down stream
<matt> but my roommate just got in the shower
<markus> so go stank up the bathroom
<matt> i assume the door is locked
<markus> just push it under the door then
#6770
<Romhog> anyone know what an (edict 75) repeating error is in 3wctf?
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- yes
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- but i'm not telling you
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- until you comment on my nipples
<Romhog> they look like little stereo knobs ;o
#27953
<timmo> the hulk fists are badass
<tito> great for fapping
#305789
<+replicated> talking to a friend in japan now
<+replicated> she thought she was gonna die lol
<!Suriko> tsunamis can do that
<!Suriko> is her house/relatives okay?
<+replicated> yeah all good
<+replicated> she's in yokohama
<+replicated> so no tsunami
<+replicated> but still scary as shit
<Doomfest> ask her if her figurines are fine
<+replicated> this is why you never get laid doom
#53419
<buzzcocks> hey guys im gonna go watch some tv and consult w/ my good friend about her boy problems
<buzzcocks> wow that made me sound gay
<sickhippie|wtf> buzzcocks, is there something you need to tell us?
<buzzcocks> hey
<sickhippie|wtf> i mean, you can trust us
<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare
* sickhippie|wtf changes topic to '<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare'
#18125
<eleven> hitler
<eleven> that fucking jew
#303357
tanuki: [URL of photo gallery]
tanuki: thoughts?
stabnburn: why is that creepy fat lady grabbing that kids boobs
tanuki: lolwut
... time passes ...
tanuki: stabnburn: Okay, I figured out WTF you're talking about.
tanuki: "that creepy fat lady" is my mother.
tanuki: And the kid is my nephew.
stabnburn: so um. YOUR MOM
stabnburn: hahaa ahaaaahahaha hahahaahahaaaaa
jedrek: stabs has been waiting for like 4 years for this
tanuki: You fail humor forever.
#3326
<skmt> DigDug, if you install a beaded seat cover, the value of your car will skyrocket
<SD_Washu> nah
<SD_Washu> all you have to do
<SD_Washu> is keep a big ol brick of heroin in the trunk
#52765
<Maxor> you know you're addicted to world of warcraft when you hack onto a temple's wireless internet with your laptop, which is you also have two batteries for, to do a quest with a friend in China during your younger brother's bar mitzvah
#3870
<thunderka> somebody speak spanish?
<Suriv> i do
<thunderka> you do what?