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#37294
<mairu> my download bandwidth is 5 kbps. but for some reason, when i download porn, it squirts upto 9bps!
<mairu> er. i mean shoots upto 9kbps**
Comment: irc.freenode.net #linux-india
#22450
<Dark`Machine> man i hate when you're drinking milk
<Dark`Machine> and then you hafta spit
<Dark`Machine> and it looks like cum
<Dark`Machine> and it';s like "ew whose dick did i suck"
<Dark`Machine> then you remember you're drinking milk... :/
<RexExitium> have you ever sucked dick?
<RexExitium> im sorry if none of us can relate.
<Glorious> dude, that's beyond fucked up
<Dark`Machine> man's gotta pay the rent Rex :P
<Nicolai> O_o
<Glorious> ew
<Jennifer> yeah i hate that too Dark`Machine!
<Jennifer> erm
<Jennifer> never mind
<Dark`Machine> <mentalnote> never make comments regarding milk ever again, ever </mentalnote>
<Dark`Machine> right then, back to lurking
<Lassie> I hate it when you're sucking cock and it's like ewww and it looks like milk :(
#4861
<Merlin3> It was my grandmother's dying wish that I receive some dave matthews bootlegs... if you have any mp3ed (not from the 4 CDs) please msg me or just go and DCC it to me... thank you for your concern. with everyone's help, I think I will be able to make it through these difficult times.
#1739
<Slyfox> I want to make a FPS that mixes the geo-mod techonology of Red Faction, the finesse and action of Max Payne, the gore and damage map feature in Soldier of Fortune, and the story and intrigue of Half-Life. I'll call it "Can't Fuck With This".
#111151
<Zealo> English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
#2069
<Daz-D3> wanna see somethin funny ld?
<LordDeath> No. Please pull your pants back up.
#312
<Tux> gimme a P, gimme an A, gimme a N, gimme an I, gimme a T, gimme an E, gimme an S! Whats that spell?
<Tux> PANTIES!
<Tux> er
<Tux> not really
<Tux> but it was close!
#301921
<dhar> you know how I started work at that Italian restaurant last week?
<Curris> yeah
<dhar> it's called Ristorante Tiberian and I never the Command & Conquer reference until I had this customer in
<dhar> he came in wearing a t-shirt with a red logo on it
<dhar> and when I served him he said "praise kane"
<dhar> I was so confused, I thought he was like some religious nut
<dhar> when I delivered his food I noticed the logo on his shirt was the NOD logo
<Curris> hahaha
<dhar> I almost dropped his plate cos I was laughing so much
#309009
* Celti ambles off to locate comestibles.
<Godwinson> We've secretly replaced Celti's comestibles with combustibles, let's see if he notices!
<Godwinson> Does that mean that humans are powered by an internal comestion engine?
<Celti> Unlike an internal combustion engine, an internal comestion engine works better when you dump sugar into the gas tank.
#7339
<NeSSa`> yeah but he isnt fucking him?
<[ben]> not to my knowledge...jason was walkin a little funny tonight though
#15706
<PetrDoubt> Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS away from us forgot
to tell us.
#16180
<WSBN-DannyBoy> stfuysmfs
<Cowboy_LapDog> is "sit on my face" part of that?
<Cowboy_LapDog> hmmn
<Tankd> I was tryin to decode that too.
<WSBN-DannyBoy> STFU YSMFs
<WSBN-DannyBoy> Monkey is part of it
<Cowboy_LapDog> sit the fuck on my and your faces?
<Cowboy_LapDog> you sick monkey fucks?
<Cowboy_LapDog> sexy monkey fuckers?
<Cowboy_LapDog> wait i have one
<Cowboy_LapDog> FYYFF FFFFFFFFF FFFFF !@# FFF
<Cowboy_LapDog> "fuck" is a part of it
#49822
-!- chimneysweep has joined #n
< chimneysweep> Evening.
< LittleViking> Afternoon.
< Blazeraid> Morning
< dr_tetris_PhD> Evening.
< Templex> Afternoon.
< LittleViking> Stupid timezones...
Comment: #n on mware
#1975
<c-rock> Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock n roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.
#28391
* norn changes topic to 'scorp on marriage: [06:08] <Scorpy> It's like free falling off a cliff, it's fun and exciting for a while and then you hit the ground and die or break most of your bones in your body.'
#51024
<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus> go to visual africa
#28366
* OnACloud (dilistener@IN-8A96057.in-addr.btopenworld.com) has joined
<OnACloud> Evening f*ckwits
* OnACloud was kicked by DJ-Pyro (bad start)
#29420
<Xylene> hey Hawq, fuck you, you dirty sheep fucker!!! ahhh
<SinisterTengu> lol
<Xylene> just kidding
<Hawq> I'll have you know I bathed that sheep myself so it was clean beforehand
<Hawq> I'd never have a dirty one
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#53724
< wietz0r> I was standing there with a packet of writeable dvd's and this women walks up fucking points her finger at me and says "Don't do illegal things with those dvds"
#43490
<Calum> going to bed at 4am, then getting woken by traffic at 8am is unpleasant
<Calum> *grumbles about his head being sore*
<Alice> How about going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 5 to go to work?
<Calum> that's also unpleasant
<Alice> It is what I am about to do
<Calum> i've gone to bed at 5 and gotten up at 6 for work before
<@ALC> but its effectively 2 am :p
<+MStar> or drinking heavily and waking up the next morning wearing nothing but kitty ears in some stranger guy's bed?
<Calum> wtf?
<Alice> o.O
<@ALC> ...
<+MStar> i mean.. finish school project at 4 and need to wake up at 7.
<Calum> oh yeah, that's unpleasant.
#246970
<zach[w]> You know, I really think the phrase "Wookiees can load their bowcasters with both standard and explosive-tipped quarrels.[citation needed]" is a perfect description of Wikipedia.
#309841
< j0h> Ive been drunk for nearly 2 weeks but jrvc might have a problem.
<@LinearInterpol> j0h: that's called being a system administrator.
#58677
<Crist> guyds i need u to help me
<Crist> my roomate glured my hannds to my mouse and desk'
<Crist> fuckrs ive been stuk herre for a hour
<Hoopaw> how the fuck are you typing?
<Crist> my nosea wttf explai ns my baad typuing
<Hoopaw> noted
#14367
<Krogzar> !8ball may i kick you?
<SDs8ball> Krogzar : YES IN DUE TIME
*** SDs8ball was kicked by P ((Krogzar) ta time is due)
#47143
<hdx> There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
<hdx> When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
<hdx> He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Comment: #linuxgeneration