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#310640
<ChauffeR> what's the name of the mission that fucked up because they didn't use meters
<OyajiVyse> America?
#306677
<maxson> honestly
<maxson> it's weird because
<maxson> normally, i'd get to know her better before asking her out
<Leaff> you're asking for relationship advice froma 12 year old?
<Leaff> oh
<Leaff> ok
<maxson> the only way i'm going to get to know her better is by asking her out
<maxson> so it's like a dilemma
<maxson> also yes
<maxson> irl this would be creepy
<Leaff> yup
<Leaff> irl me hanging out with you would be creepy
<maxson> yup
<Leaff> irl a lot of things that people do on the internet would be creepy
<maxson> like talk to people while looking at porn
<Leaff> exactly
<maxson> "hey james how's it going"
<maxson> "HRRNG oh fine URRRGH you?"
<Leaff> "are you fapping"
<Leaff> "LOL NOPE NOT AT ALL"
<Leaff> "DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WOULD SUGGEST THAT"
<maxson> "did you piss your pants"
<maxson> "you're in the ballpark"
<Leaff> i think we should end this part of the conversation right now
<Leaff> before it gets
* Leaff sunglasses
<maxson> out of hand?
<Leaff> out of haFUCK YOU
#4658
<Const> zero's gay? I just thought he was into porking his cat
<Zero> My cat is a girl :p
#138502
<redribben> what you guys up to?
<redribben> i myself am trying to find something that seems to not exist....
<reikon> god?
#51175
<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%
#19307
<Monsoon`> grrr
<Monsoon`> WHERE IS BROADBAND WHEN YOU WANT IT?
<Monsoon`> poor little dialup is brought to its knees by pr0n like that
<Monsoon`> whatever happened to thumbnails leading to larger images?
<skitz> Monsoon`: doesnt work like that with porn. thumbnails lead to ads
<Monsoon`> it didn't used to be that way
<skitz> you're doing a "back in the day" rant for PORN?! christ
#1868
<mD5> please no-one send me that stuff about sex in my aol mailbox
<flukz> i had to turn off my computer cuz all the porn kept popping up
<Mattress> mD5, what's your e-mail? I'll remove you from the list
<mD5> mD5@aol.com
<mD5> thank you for removing me from the list
#8256
<BounceWithMe> Shagman... 8==o suck it.
<@shagman> BounceWithMe... ())========D choke on it.
#59677
(regarding a text ad saying "Quantum Mechanics & You: How You Can Master Quantum Time To Gain Extreme Wealth And Success")
drw: I wonder if there's a way I could use quantum mechanics to pass the test in quantum mechanics
drw: other than learning it
zee: there probably is
zee: but you won't know about it until you learn quantum mechanics
zee: so you're kinda pwned
drw: well
drw: perhaps after learning it I could use quantum mechanics to travel to the past and tell myself how to do it without learning quantum mechanics
drw: thus closing the loop
drw: ok
drw: I'll just sit here and wait for my future self to arrive
drw: it kinda solved itself
#2955
<trccccc> I was going down on this one girl once.... and her clit was the size of my pinkie... I was all DAMN and exscused myself and went back down to the party
#102902
(@Aneyva) my computer is spazzing... brb gotta reboot
—› quit: (Aneyva)
• +missey wonders what spazzing computer looks like
(%Cory) it screams at you asking for swiss chocolate and makes you drive to somewhere a few towns over to get it and bitches at you when you get back
(%Cory) oh wait that's pregnant
#32813
<Footle> I have a beautiful vision. It involves the authors of typhoon, a wooden stake, some rope, some napalm, lots of kindling, and a flaming torch
#7392
<Dane> i picked ryk up one night when he was completely trashed
<Dane> and he was looking like spewing
<Dane> so i reminded him of my car spew rule
<Tippytoes> which is?
<Dane> "if you hurl you pay me $150 and you have to clean it up"
<KKKBitch> heh
<Dane> and he looked in his pocket
<Dane> and goes
<Dane> "I can cover that"
<Dane> "lets go get curry"
#24155
^john^> how come identd doesnt bind to port 113
evilgreg> make sure' its not taken
^john^> [john@ebz:~/oidentd-1.9.9.1] $ make sure
^john^> make: don't know how to make sure. Stop
^john^> anyone else?
#306347
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#55385
<Andross> I just downloaded some perfectly legal software
<Andross> and they pakced it into segmented zips... containing segmented rars
Comment: #qc
#50381
<themole> I was thinking of quiting my job at target
<soapy> you should look into getting a job at goatse
<soapy> I heard they have a large opening
#8073
<Avatar> how much do dishwashers cost
<krissle> haha
<krissle> you dont buy a dishwasher
<krissle> you marry one
#30468
<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively
#11686
<Hydrac7> Bukkake!
<Clockwork> hahaha
<Clockwork> BUKKAKE
<Alice`> I don't know why people giggle so much when someone mentions bukkake, let me tell you there's nothing funny about the manseed of 182 guys dripping down your face.
<Alice`> Well you might giggle a bit afterwards, but you don't mean it really.
<pot-shot> yeah you giggle, its like anxiety laughter, because oh fuck you are alive, for the fucking love of god you are alive, and it tastes like rice pudding, delicoius perfect rice pudding and there is literally gallons of it around you
#64822
[DAY] Trinexx: I saw the most awesome Windows error today: "A malicious program has attempted to shut down Windows. As a precaution, Windows was shut down."
#309704
<ButchDeLoria> hey guess what I got
<advi> a boner
<ButchDeLoria> worse
<ButchDeLoria> It starts with an M and ends with an R
<advi> midget boner
#9114
<D`Amour> time to gogogadgetbacktoworkasquickasfuckbeforeigetfired
#9342
<dream> five girls.
<dream> and he's fucking all of them behind all of their backs.
<@reflexive> that's a lot of poon.
<@plutonium> and herpes.
#3195
<dot> i make that typo irl too
<dot> wait... it's not a "typo" then...
* dot gets confused about real life
<dot> real life... has no keyboards...
* dot tries to remember this