Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#4360
<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?
#35793
<EmenEm> i was in the bathroom this morning shaving when the whole apartment building started shaking
<EmenEm> and i'm like "WTF EARTHQUAKE" and i ran outside in my bathrobe and i'm bleeding because my razor went into my face when it started shaking
<EmenEm> when i got outside there was a car sitting in the tennis court the car was busted up and some nice damage to the building
<EmenEm> a cool story right there, but get this
<EmenEm> this guy gets out of his car with half of his face covered in shaving cream - him and i exchanged this weird glance because blood was flowing down our faces
<EmenEm> fucking weird shit
#244345
SeanieG123: so we have to make this cartoon thing for Oedipus in english right?
SeanieG123: i'm trying to decide if a "mommy and me" photo album would be crossing a line
#303156
<dd7> sigh
<Marcus> whats up?
<dd7> i was eating a sandwich on my electronics workstation right
<dd7> well i ended up getting bread crumbs in the breadboard
<dd7> go figure
#25169
<EssKay> i don't want to have fucking poles in my underwear, man.
<Rjx> that joke went so far over your head it got hijacked and flown into a major landmark
#16123
<|3itch> MY WOULD BE SISTER WAS AN ABORTION I WISH SHE WASNT THOUGH
<Funk> I WAS an abortion. I'm just very stubborn.
<Fishfood> i was probably not wanted
<Funk> You're not wanted NOW
<Fishfood> but who cares! IM HERE NOW AND READY FOR LOVE!
<wildkarrdex> I live in the perpetual fear that my parents will abort me
#8726
<mewse> contrary to popular belief there are periods where i dont feel like drinking
<mewse> these periods, i call "hangovers"
#14019
<ion-> at least she has correctly proportioned genetalia
<ion-> within two standard deviations from the mean
#308489
<acenasir> asl angel?
<Tech_Angel> Dude, did you really just use asl?
<IT_Sean> He did.
<IT_Sean> HE MUST BE PUNISHED!
* IT_Sean gets the bullwhip, the mustard, and the geckos
<Tech_Angel> the geckos? you really are serious
<IT_Sean> Yup.
* Tech_Angel leaves Sean to play with acenasir while she gets lunch
* IT_Sean gives acenasir a 10 second head start
<adamaze> run boy
Comment: #spiceworks / freenode
#38349
* tjm returns, having fled the office at 5.25pm with the utmost haste.
<dan> any reason?
<tjm> We have a major internal release tomorrow, and at 5.23pm I discovered that our main character had just turned into a small floating piece of sushi.
#31497
<trucker> i'm a self proclaimed pornography historian/archivist
<trucker> thats my job
#11263
<CABAL> you're the fat one
<CABAL> like hell gravity would let you jump
#40240
<pete> did yalll see the presidential debate
<pete> it was funny
<edisk> yeah
<edisk> my friend and i had lists of words we were counting for
<pete> what were they?
<edisk> like "safety" and "freedom" and "Saddam"
<edisk> but the winner was "[awkward pause]"
#39504
<THX> i love this one. i told my friend when he went to jury duty, no matter what the case was, tell them he couldnt serve cause the defendant committed the same crime against him.
<THX> he got assigned a rape case.
#8671
<DigDug> i'm so tired of reformatting quotes :/
<c-rOCK> THEN DONT
<c-rOCK> KILL THAT QDB
<c-rOCK> LIKE YOU WERE ABRAHAM
<c-rOCK> AND THAT SHIT IS YOUR SON
#1379
<studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
<studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
<studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century
#4843
<GiRLiE-> ur cruel.. but funny
<bytraper> and you have a beuatiful mind... but you're fat
#9291
<jre> I wouldn't eat dolphin. I refuse to eat anything smarter than me. Which is why I abstain from broccoli.
<AmbushBug> I would love to only eat things smarter than me.
<AmbushBug> ...
<AmbushBug> I assume the silence is all of you standing agape at the opening i left for all of you.
<jre> Ambush: It's too predictible. We want originality in our comedy.
<jre> ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
#138502
<redribben> what you guys up to?
<redribben> i myself am trying to find something that seems to not exist....
<reikon> god?
#138821
<Jacois> I remember before the internet when I used to get turned on by a cleavage. Now it takes 2 girls and a cup.
#116110
<ednos> root, help!
<ednos> the only language available is British English!
<root> ?
<ednos> I don't speak that!
<root> lol
<root> you'll survive
<root> it doesn't prevent you typing your posts in american
<ednos> I won't know which button submits
<ednos> is it "prevaricate about the bush" or "spot o' milk"?
Comment: #taskforceranger on irc.gamesurge.net
#50253
-!- Diana15 [RubyiyuX@CBL217-132-105-79.bb.netvision.net.il] has joined #geekissues
-!- mode/#geekissues [+b *!*@CBL217-132-105-79.bb.netvision.net.il] by debt
-!- Diana15 was kicked from #geekissues by c-rOCK [banned]
< Omnica> bot?
<@debt> assume so
< Omnica> you assume so cause what girl in the right mind would join #geekissues?
<@debt> yes
#6714
<_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front of someones nick?
<thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel operators.. Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad wanker who spends his life on irc, has no real friends, and prefers to chat on here than in a pub?
#19791
<Vyse`work> FUCK SNAKE
<Vyse`work> thats nice as FUCK!
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> ill show my boss ASAP
<Vyse`work> when he comes in
<Vyse`work> DUDE SNAKE
<Vyse`work> fucking move here for a job =)
<Vyse`work> my boss would so fucking fire the chick who does it now
<Vyse`work> and hire you
<Vyse`work> look at the website she is working on
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> snake isn't here
<Vyse`work> im talking to no one
<Vyse`work> FUCK
#31111
<efeX> I got an email off a clan leader today
<efeX> He offered me a "nap"
<efeX> with his "division"
<efeX> So im guessing im invited to some sort of nerd orgy
<efeX> Which quite frankly both fightens and excites me
<efeX> infact, bbl