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#300422
<Rorschach> It is my belief that the Linux community may be defined, as a whole, as a virus. Its collective users will do everything to aid the spread of their half-baked OS but will do nothing to resolve the problems or fix them even in the worst of scenarios. The average zealot has one thing on their mind: infect.
<&Homicide> We are a cult, not a virus.
<&Homicide> QED.
<&Homicide> We recruit the ignorant masses who are disillusioned with their truths, who seek a better way.
<&Homicide> We lure them in with promises, with system stability.
<&Homicide> Once they have decided to try it,
<&Homicide> They are neck deep in a bash shell.
<&Homicide> They will fight, nay *crusade*, to fix their problems.
<&Homicide> Before they know it, the sense of accomplishment sets in.
<&Homicide> "That was difficult, but unlike windows, it can be fixed!"
<&Homicide> This is what they will say.
<&Homicide> Then they will try to use wireless internet.
<&Homicide> And the circle will be complete
#7557
[NissanKin] I have my skyline for sale...
[NissanKin] $20k
[NissanKin] R30
[NissanKin] fastest in Oz
[Bayls] Actually the 1994 Holden Apollo is the fastest production car ever produced in the unierse.
[NissanKin] i have 323kw at the whels
[Bayls] Yeah? I have a digital thermometer.
#8761
<jamesm> good porn would be a chick taking it up the arse while configuring a dns server
<jamesm> the guy could do a zone transfer to her secondary
<jamesm> if you know what i mean
#31838
<babywafn> I wrapped my arm in duct tape
<babywafn> and then unravelled the roll
<babywafn> and wrapped the other end around a pipe
<babywafn> and then dropped from the ceiling
<babywafn> and it jerked my arm BUT IT HELD
<fap> wafn has experienced boredom beyond our comprehension
<babywafn> it was not boredom
<babywafn> I was evading authorities
#294527
<nqfud> the local supermarket has an almost completely deaf cashier with a poor quality hearing aid, so she just guesses what you are saying
<nqfud> I said "you walk like your vagina lips are swollen" and she decided to tell me how her christmas day went
#62116
<@Pie> unemployment rocks
<@Commander> you got fired?
<@Pie> long story
<@Commander> well, you're not going anywhere
#7898
<aSSMAGGOT> [badpeon_] all humans have to die
<paniq> i dont have to
<paniq> i have won in a lottery for immortality
<wayfinder> i thought you've won a key fob?
<jco> an immortal key fob
#77469
<mike> im taking physics, english, comp sci, discrete math
<drmario> discrete math?
<drmario> like, y = mx + b only when nobody is looking?
Comment: #freebasic
#205516
<oktommy> pop culture is getting more and mroe popular
#45116
<sEcretz> One day a teacher went into her classroom and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time.
<sEcretz> She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
#26337
<RageFury> 1-800-Wheelchair.com looking for Web Dev. ASAP (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
<RageFury> I guess they will be interested in server side push technologies.
<RageFury> Their clients can't move themselves.
#1482
::: .signoff@7.55p> jadel (jadel@h24-70-154-3.wp.shawcable.net); User abortion with 5 coathooks
#102065
[helf] or do like me, have absolutely no idea what the job is for because you forgot you even had an interview, come in looking like you just woke up with a bad hangover, luck out because your soon to be boss has never done an interview before, he doesnt want to do an interview and you both just end up playing nethack for 2 hours
[rielore] i love nethack
#41969
[SPD]MFDoom|fr| is now known as [SPD]MFBangingmyfiancee
[PIT]Bar-B-Q weird, i did the same last night
[PIT]Bar-B-Q I mean, this morning
<[SPD]MFBangingmyfiancee> banged my fiancee?
[SPD]MFBangingmyfiancee is now known as [SPD]MFInTroubleForThat
<[SPD]MFInTroubleForThat> she saw... crap
[SPD]MFInTroubleForThat is now known as [SPD]MFShesNotLaughing
<FatChix0r> iLOL
[SPD]MFShesNotLaughing is now known as [SPD]MFGettinNoneTonight
<[SPD]MFGettinNoneTonight> sigh....
Comment: #urbanterror on ETG
#9610
<MrFreeze> !google turkey+baster
<drug|THC> http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
<djcrom> see, my bot rocks
#10911
<Xaotika> if i ever start a band, remind me to call it MY ASS.
<Xaotika> then you could all come watch MY ASS if we ever perform on stage.
<Xaotika> MY ASS will rock your world. i'm sure.
#11164
<Helm-work> *sigh* ..i dont know what gets into me sometimes.. I get this "hey, my password says it expires today and i need to change it" "what do i change it to"? .... im like "how about tea-bagger"? "thats a good one" .. the accountant is like "yeah! easy to remember too"
#33839
<motolov> i actually have shat in a urinal once
<motolov> when i was 10 we went to germany and the toilets you had to pay for at a rest stop, but the urinals were free of charge, i could not wait to go back to the car for deutchmarks
#2728
<neutrl> i don't have any tables
<mAimZ> da wheels 'o steel...
<mAimZ> you should get some... And get all your favorite tunes on LP... It's more fun than 4 hookers and a jimmy hat!
<hypr> i highly doubt that
#29490
<Michael> !seen my cock
<MonkeyBot> Sorry Michael, I haven't seen your cock around
#2962
[jstepka-w] it's not gay, there are several key nerve endings in your prostate
#298754
<FoH> If you make a glancing reference to those islands southwest of Alaska, is it an Aleutian allusion?
<FoH> If it's only an imaginary reference, is it an Aleutian allusion illusion?
<FoH> If it's difficult to reckon, is it an elusive Aleutian allusion illusion?
<Renee> and if its hard to put your finger on the imaginary glancing reference of riding a Spanish horse on those islands it is a ellusive Aleutian Andalusian allusion illusion
<FoH> And that's the elusive Andalusian Aleutian allusion illusion alliteration for the day.
#6914
<pvx> alright, ive come up with a good description.. it looks like snot that was soaked in cum, rolled around in encheladas, and put in a freezer for an hour.
#7334
<NihiMetal> I saw my first porno when I ws 11
<NihiMetal> It had tons of lesbian sex and stuff
<NihiMetal> I use to think that women did that shit with each other all the time
<NihiMetal> You never look at your mother and the preachers wife the same after that
#73453
<KefkaIIV> I had a dream that you could put Javascript in C++, and I made a code that had a bunch of pop-ups.
<blank> You became a Mozilla developer in your sleep.