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#3385
<crums|zzz> i love my bed
<crums|zzz> still need to christen it...grrr
#58726
suurlemoen: usually I can't even run a whole mile
scythen32: ...
scythen32: not something i would tell people
suurlemoen: no, there are a lot of people who can't run a mile
scythen32: yes
scythen32: they are called americans
#49938
<Hatter> tonight I: lost in poker, drank absinthe, scaled the wall of the peabody university, got into a street fight, got a black chick with implants to show us her breasts
<AlmtyBob> , lied about everything but losing in poker.
Comment: #ramen
#1670
<kisama> just leave clues as to your modem
<kisama> motive*
#22081
<Juggs> ahaha the funniest shit is when i took 3 e's at once at a lan
<Juggs> and as far as i was concerned i could slow down time
#300984
<Sancdar> i knew a guy named ace fabionaire or something like that, he had two brothers and a sister - king, jack, and queen
<Sancdar> good thing his parents stopped or they'd have a hard time
<Fax> well, they didn't
<Fax> but they aborted it into a royal flush.
#34217
<kinzillah> pie.
<jej> cocks.
<kinzillah> now THAT'S some word association right there
#10688
<_astrOdz> you know if you shoplift , you dont pay tax
#32755
<mrWoot> porn = getting old
#68888
Phryss: to change stuff, I need a password I don't remember
Phryss: but I wrote it down for safe-keeping
Phryss: I wrote it on a post-it
Phryss: and put the post-it in the owner's manual
Phryss: which my parents lost.
Phryss: so I click the "forgot password" link
Phryss: which gives me a password hint
Phryss: The hint that I chose tells me that it's on the post-it that's inside the owners manual that my parents lost.
#12
<Moot> ok, here's what we do
<Moot> we break into AOL HQ
<Moot> and instead of the AOL setup utility, we put metallica mp3s on all of the startup cds
#13331
<BlazinIndo> you can call me mentally retarded, but i feel good right about now
<Ludwig> thats cus you're too stupid to know you're mentally retarded
<Ludwig> its a catch 22
<BlazinIndo> i dont see what your getting at....
#42828
< Aldryic> damn
< Aldryic> I'm grounded to my office for the rest of the day
< Aldryic> a customer came in while I was straddeling a Dell and shouting "We're gonna ride this thing to the MOON!"
#57019
<Malphas> How many femanists does it take to change a light bulb?
<@Cassie> Oh no
<Malphas> Two. One to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick.
*** You have been kicked from #Womens_Issues
#11098
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175
#54658
<Mrono> man
<Mrono> i had a nightmare last night
<Mrono> i dreamed that efnet started having chanservices
<Mrono> ugh
#18551
<@OlDirtyB> YOU NEED A GLASS OF STFU
<Splash> can you actually put that in a glass?
#7913
<norsende> º dj aligator project - Water In The Ocean º
<roskkouro> water in the ocean. what a stupid, obvious fucking sentance!
<roskkouro> IF THERE WERE NO WATER IN THE OCEAN! THERE WOULD'NT BE NO
OCEAN! EINSTEIN!
<quoz|beer> roskkouro: hey, he's iranian
<quoz|beer> roskkouro: besides, on triton you have oceans of methane
<roskkouro> quoz: bitch
#54060
DarkSnake > if you have sex for several years would that qualify you as a sexologist?
chsh > I had my sexologist license for a bit, but it was revoked. :S
DarkSnake > quit practicing huh
chsh > I do however have a double doctorate in Ballgrabbery and Advanced Masturbatory Studies
Comment: irc.unerror.com #lobby
#19206
<@Corosion> smartass =P
<BBtB> Yes... yes it is
<BBtB> The penis is none to dumb either
<BBtB> in fact all my body parts would be catorgized as "above average" or better
#11321
<Maggieamac> I pray for Osama Bin Laden everynight for him to give his life to Jesus
<dendr1te> I think he's given his life to Allah.
<Maggieamac> We'll see
<Maggieamac> But I pray for him everynight before I go to sleep
<Maggieamac> :)
<dendr1te> Geez, I feel bad. I usually just masturbate before I go to sleep.
<Maggieamac> It going to be ok
<Maggieamac> Tonight I'll pray for you
#300960
Also, I came up with the best Metal band name ever
Are you ready?
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
That’s it! Parenthesis, seeking female keyboardist, exclamation point, end-parenthesis. That way, every flyer for your show, you’d make whatever band was above you on the flyer seem like total posers.: Imagine the following on a telephone pole near you:
**************************
12/06 at The Pound, all ages:
BIOHAZARD
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
DISCONFORMITY
************************
or:
***********************
12/19 at CBGBs:
SLAYER
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
NILE
DEATHCOOCH DEBACLE
SOCIOPATHIC REMRANT
***********************
#27902
<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"
#58069
<shinakuma> what res do i have if i have 1280x1024
<kaiser_justus> shinakuma: what kind of fruit do i have if i have a lemon?
<shinakuma> i dont' know what
<shinakuma> lime?
<shinakuma> kaiser what is the answer
<shinakuma> oh citrus fruit
Comment: #kawaii-radio !
#3631
<mightyflo> scum: who's "fresh" games?
<ScumDog> mighty - Eidos's new division that is dedicated to bringing over weird imports to the US
<ScumDog> their first titles are Ka and Bravo Music
<TURBOMEAT> and Duel Legaia Saga or whatever
<ScumDog> being released as "Mister Mosquito" and "Mad Maestro"
<metroid23> their first two titles have nothing but "m" words
<ScumDog> what's the Legaia thing called in the US?
<ScumDog> Merlin's Mage Mania?