Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#28712
<_Zippo_> Oh what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. Now my mother is saying "Leet". I have had an adverse effect on her sanity.
#304691
<BunneH> i saw a urologist yesterday
<BunneH> er.. today, not yesterday
<BunneH> he had to use KY jelly to get his thumb into my prostate
<BunneH> well, i dunno if it was KY
<BunneH> may have been aknockoff
<BunneH> point is, i had a jelly-covered thumb in my anus
<BunneH> i felt like a donut
<BunneH> when he poked it he said "does this make you feel like you need to urinate?"
<BunneH> i almost said "no, but i feel like i need to shit a thumb"
<BunneH> luckily, i refrained, and just said "no"
#303566
lollz> And what did babys drink before people discovered cows?
Aeon> they drank there moms milk
lollz> Yeh but where did they get the milk
Aeon> omg
CoJaBo> ...
CoJaBo> !wp breast feeding
AmiBot> Breastfeeding is the feeding of an infant or young child with milk from a woman's breasts.
lollz> wtf milk comes from boobs?
CoJaBo> LOL
Aeon> wow u srsly didnt kno that?
lollz> EWW! MILk comes from cow boobs!
Comment: Milk Day, 2008
#5621
<Straylight> aw3some
<Straylight> oops
<Straylight> haha... i accidentally l33ted
#306902
<Wumpus_> someday someonme is going to show me how the hell you make a wad of pizza dough into a nice *round* shape without a lot of manual shapenanipulation after attacking it with the rolling pin
<@Alien> why do you want a pizza round? it tastes just as good in a wobbly amoeba shape
#13725
<_emma_> I'm just like a Barbie doll, I come with all the accesories
<Mort-Hog> And you have your underwear melted on to you? :)
<_emma_> Barbies in my day had no underwear
<Mort-Hog> What? My barbies all have their plastic underwear molded on to their bodies
#37751
<Fuzzi-Fox> Mox: us gay guys have a high council we report to monthly, for every full conversion, we get a toaster.. you ever wondered why most gay guys homes -always- have a toaster with bagel smart (tm)?
<Jamorum> Wow...Damn...I'm straight and I want a toaster...*pouts*
Comment: #LiveYiff
#33402
Frylock: that was the best conversation ever!
Pie: what was?
Frylock: i was getting stoned at a friends house last night, so i called him a few hours ago to pick me up and i asked where he was and he says "jail, where are you?"
Pie: lol
Frylock: "WHAT?!" "I'm in jail, the place with the cops and the prisoners"
Pie: lol o_o
Comment: True Story...He got out the same night.
#24624
<Mr_Meeker> you know how cats always land on their feet and toast always lands on the top?
<Mr_Meeker> i tried taping toast to my cats back :P
<Mr_Meeker> went apeshit
#1639
<harb> Shee.. I search for "linux unix bsd" on dice.com and it returns ONE job that's a sendmail admin. wtf.
<acestus> What a sick job.
<acestus> "What do you think you can bring to our company as the sendmail admin?"
<acestus> "qmail."
#559
[05:45pm] [+xvize] yea aol's supposed to be harder to trace
#52272
-koroaway : So ...
-koroaway : a tanker truck full of beer crashed into a bus full of kids on their way to play hockey. In a snowstorm
-koroaway : does it get any more Canadian than that?
#18160
<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
<thammy> haha
<thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke
#30640
<SonGohanX> well if its got boobs and doesn't have a penis...thats close enough
#187177
<steven> ok, burning 2 CDs and then we're off to the hospital to have a baby
#307478
<evelyn> hmm
<evelyn> having two computers playing two instances of the same MMO at once has its social advantages
<evelyn> one being female, i can manipulate men while the other watches to see what they say after i leave
<evelyn> the other being male, i can get the rebound on the female in question who had suffered from my advances upon her object of affection
<evelyn> perhaps unfortunately, this appears to be my sole joy in continuing to play this game
#15731
<depresso> Compaq FAQ: Where is the ANY Key? (FAQ2859)
<depresso> This is not a key. When you are instructed to press any key, this
means you can press any of the keys on the keyboard (such as the Enter key,
the R key, or the space bar).
#34065
<Vajita> compare zeldas weight to that of mario
<Vajita> zelda is one heavy bitch
#256707
His Madjesty: So the water cooler at work is broken. It still works, but it leaks.
Ideasman: that's not good...
His Madjesty: We tried to get someone in to fix it or replace it, but they just said to take the water bottle out when we're not using it.
Ideasman: WTF? where are you working?
His Madjesty: Microsoft.
#32814
<Capaneus> I'm still on "Learn FreeBSD in 24hrs" and I've been reading it for a week.
#20808
<[FMa]Brick> just teh first time?
<[NTAC]Crazzeh_Timmeh> just for now
<[FMa]Brick> let my b/f pull out first
#27226
<Dilbert> i've got an idea that would help artists from having their music pirated
<Dilbert> instead of naming all their
<Dilbert> songs
<Dilbert> just give them a number
<Dilbert> like 1, 2, 3 so on
<Dilbert> and if everyone does that
<Dilbert> nobody online will be able to find the songs they are looking for
<Dilbert> or something
<Dilbert> i dont know
<Dilbert> forget i said anything
#3038
<Javi> irc is like a cigarette
<Javi> you know it's bad for you
<Javi> but you just can't stop
#19485
<stu> i literally just had good sex
<stu> my cock is still wet
<clay> and to the internet you go
#7018
Topic is 'God made drunks so ugly people could get laid.' Set by Ac3d
<Ac3d> man..i think im getting drunk