m.QDB.us

Random | Latest | Best | Full Site

#55560
<MTRH> Ooops.
<MTRH> CPU 1C, GPU 2C, HD 9C.
<MTRH> Forgot laptop outside.

#297717
<ChromosFel|WoW> i can't see how people feel they can judge WoW without even playing it
<Z-Ramm> i can't see how people feel they can judge crack users without even trying it

#20007
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?

#307982
* krikkert heads for that large downy object in the other room which is rumoured to remove fatigue and restore vitality.
* UmbralRaptor spent far too long wondering why a coffee-maker would be covered in down.

#54419
<Malekh> Farts make me sad
<ridger> do you believe that all your happy is escaping?

#17638
<sabo> i hate it when there's no toilet paper in the house.
<sabo> cause then i have to wipe my ass with maxi pads.

#226601
<ktea> I'm not wasting waffles on my vagina
<@d_e> waffles and vagina in the same sentence.
<@d_e> that. is. greatness.
<@d_e> two of my favorite things.
<@d_e> add some bacon.
<@rm-fr> two great tastes, together at last
Comment: #bifemunix on Efnet

#5810
<A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
<DarthJesus> I dunno'
<DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do anything for you
<A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.

#948
(jesdynf) I want an emulator that, every time you try to load a game, there's a 6% chance it pops up a dialog that says "It's not loading! Tap the A button to blow the dust out."

#54624
Dizzy: so i was talking to my bro down in his room right
Dizzy: and i look down and see an empty condom wrapper
Dizzy: and he knows i see it
Jak: lol
Dizzy: he goes "i bought them just in case, and i tested one"
Dizzy: what does he mean by "tested"???
Jak: oh god

#24214
<keith_escalade> I got a computer for my wife, and it was a good trade.

#8218
<DotSPF> just got myself a shitload more lesbo porn
<killck> good?
<DotSPF> damn they have so much more fun when we're not around

#21542
<froggie> is 7stray4,duCks" a good password?
<gregh> no, because you just pasted it in #distributed

#10989
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse.

#307670
< Novice> It's not a computer anymore. It's a member of Norton's botnet.

#9949
<paul> anyone know what a .ace file is
<moneo> all i know is it beats a .kng

#31163
<Will> O_O i keep my output of stupid questions in complete equilibrium with smart questions.
<nomad> so, you won't ask questions at all?

#1181
Sug*******i8: Darn it, I wanted to nuke some pizza but someone's using the micro-wave...
loofaspunge: just rub each slice one at a time really fast...

#295080
<urs> When I flew with finnair once, I noticed halfway into the flight that the emergency exit in the next row was installed upside-down
<thec> urs, that one is for when the plane crashes upside down

#46128
<stan> i was outside yesterday...
<stan> looking at the spot on my back lawn where i fucked a mormon teenage chick...
<stan> and the grass on that spot was completely dead, like god himself struck it down.
Comment: efnet #ampedout

#294505
< _judas_> i'm told i look a bit like tom cruise under certain lighting conditions and from the back
< frayed> from the back?

#19199
<Phantom> I heard the funniest thing on DBZ today
<Phantom> "Having these balls makes me feel something approaching joy, I think. I want to caress them." --Frieza

#304546
<+wubbson> When I was 7 I wanted to be a paraplegic but then I realized professor X didn't get his powers from being in a wheelchair

#310980
<asterick> Does anyone ever feel like jQuery is kinda like bill cosby?
<asterick> Like, everyone used to REALLY love him, but then someone said "I was totally raped by jQuery" then all of a sudden everyones like "DUDE ME TOO"

#14217
<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself

Random | Latest | Best | Full Site