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#104302
<Gerrit> Cannot join #real-life (Banned)
#16374
(debaser) i bought a mouse today
(debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
(debaser) i got a neutered mouse.
#303670
[11:11pm] Katuron: OOOOH
[11:11pm] Katuron: it's 11:11!
[11:11pm] MiracleBlue: Quick, make a wish!
[11:11pm] Katuron: uhm uhm uhm
[11:12pm] Katuron: ACE MY EXAMS!
[11:12pm] MiracleBlue: Too late
[11:12pm] Katuron: FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
#6472
<[werk]chin> (Bobo) "With the sam's deal on a 100 gb drive, im able to download and store the porn of 10 regular men"
#294559
(@Fantasy) I blame that evil midget in rehab
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in thr balls
(@Fantasy) and he was perfect height
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) than on family/friends day having all your friends make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting, dog"
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(@Fantasy) crying
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets
#139721
<justin> shipped mah package
<justin> if you know what I mean
<jake> Shipping must have been cheap
<jake> if you know what I mean
#62020
<&Time> Record Uptime: 13w 1d 8h 47m 15s set on Thu Mar 10 11:08:44 2005
<traxor> wow, time that's really impressive
<traxor> do you show that to girls when they go around to your house?
#7138
<Prior_Tuck> We had a real Pron king at eaton though. He wad a 30 gig HD full of pron. He requests a new Hard Drive. We suspected he was downloading. He refused to give us his PC, but we insisted to take it...to install the new drive. I took his ten times embedded folder and clicked delete. Put the harddrive in my PC and gave hi his PC back. I told him his cache was full. hes got plenty of room
#10028
*** wolex has joined #lockergnome
|wolex| hi
|wolex| Anyone active at this time?
* nobody is
|wolex| thanks
|wolex| but I need some help
* nobody can help you
|wolex| thanks again
* nobody wants to help you
|wolex| have a great day then
|wolex| oh thats better
|wolex| and why is that
|wolex| oh. nobody is a name!!!
|nobody| hahaha
#57886
<Una> billions and billions of years from now, when the universe ends in the big crunch, I dont think anythings going to matter anymore
<plantlife> great pun
#301716
S: Cute coworker is cute
Mabbo: Don't you have a boyfriend?
S: I have a boyfriend, not a visual impairment
#3613
<SinbadTheSailor> hi hedge...are you on turps?
<Hedge> quite sober actually
<sTar69> sober like, just jammed my penis in the door kinda sober?
<Hedge> sober like i just got caught shoplifting a dildo kinda sober
<sTar69> oh THAT kind of sober ;)
<sTar69> i mean err what are you talking about?
#14602
<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp
#310342
< cbreak> if the C++ committee was lead by Microsoft's Excel team... auto would be called car in the english version of C++.
#76863
<Painezor> So I had to hand in this essay the other day
<Painezor> the topic was "The effect of the internet on society"
<Painezor> so I just handed in "I was going to do the essay, then I discovered the internet had porn" on a sheet of A4.
<Painezor> Long story short I don't have to do any more essays.
#29103
<RickoniX> Ooh, QDB2
<RickoniX> And you get to dig through the un-accepted quotes!!!
<RickoniX> woot
<j4_james> qdb2?
<RickoniX> Yeah, it's either the next QDB, or it's like Gnutella2, a ripoff :P
<RickoniX> It's at http://bash.cx
<Petah> .cx?
<Petah> thats enough to scare me off
Comment: #foogoo on BeyondIRC
#181649
<@vap0r> a friend of mine got out of jail after being in for 10 years or os
<@vap0r> so
<@vap0r> a young guy
<@vap0r> he had no idea abou tthe internet at all really
<@vap0r> this was years ago
<@iNToIT> and now he wants to have sex with you?
<@vap0r> nah hes still straight
<@iNToIT> lies
<@vap0r> but it was just weird
<@vap0r> he ended up getting on the internet
<@vap0r> and the first thing he searched for was latino girls
<@vap0r> and it blew his mind
#300953
<@Rjx> how the fuck Newton figured this shit out without the internet is beyond me
<@Rjx> in my first year I had a lecturer who would make us all say "we're not worthy" when he put a picture of newton up on the screen
<@Rjx> he'd actually stop the class until people played along
<@Rjx> quite a few of the class members were international students from saudi arabia, they'd never seen wayne's world
<@Rjx> so he actually set them a homework assignment to watch it
#5073
<langdon> win2k is tight.
<langdon> i added all my warez ftp sites to network neighborhood
#34235
<port-> MadDwarf please take a bow
<MadDwarf> sorry , but I DON'T bend over in this channel
Comment: #windowsxp efnet
#19467
Lotach: earlier today at work, I took some confectionary sugar and laid it out in a thin line, then left a straw next to it and walked away
#16595
Silent4042: What's another name for child molestation?
SocialistNinja: Divine intervention?
Silent4042: What?
SocialistNinja: That's what my priest tells me.
#6369
<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs
<Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce
#34482
<Rjx> ah shit
<Rjx> I just accidently called my girlfriend fat
Comment: #geekissues
#14250
* <r0b3r> sighs and ponders what to do now....
* <Lynda> ponders, "draw something?"
<r0b3r> Tried that already. Can't think of anything to draw, really.
<Lynda> draw... a couple, resting in bed together.
* <r0b3r> blinks at what Lynda says....
<r0b3r> No. I don't draw that, thank you ery much.
<Lynda> I wasn't suggesting anything ecchi.
<Lynda> I take it you've never had a really serious relationship.
<r0b3r> I have one with someone right now, actually.
<r0b3r> Just it's an odd relationship considering my character is human
and she is an alien...