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#63337
VarnTheGreat: I have some orange drink thing here and grape juice.
VarnTheGreat: Do I mix them together?
xTedHeadx: Yes.
xTedHeadx: Make groringe juice.
xTedHeadx: ...No, that sounds too much like groin juice.
VarnTheGreat: Haha.
xTedHeadx: Make orrape juice.
xTedHeadx: ...Yeah I don't think they'll mix well, judging by the names.
VarnTheGreat: Hahahaha.
#9169
[Modnar] 3y3 0wnz j00
[TMBG37] n0 j00 d0n7
[Modnar] dude, i've got the inv0ice right here
#29456
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally
#31939
<DarthWolverine04> i'll tell ya one thing, us swim team guys arent given enough respect for a our remarkable ability to control our wangs in the presence of so many hot girls in bathing suits
#63290
Sonic McTails: Man, work is dead today
Nokoatheart: That sucks.
Nokoatheart: hey, wait...
Nokoatheart: Don't you work in a hospital?
#46063
<Genocidal> I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?
#11101
(+AeroBob): Ooh! New saying. "A Werthers Original is like anal sex..."
(@Pixie|3554Y): They're both given by grandad? :O
(+AeroBob): And, of course, both are best served hard.
#35692
<Roscoe> show me a cisco config
<Roscoe> and were talkin
* Amun pulls down pants
* Amun shows roscoe his cisco config
* Roscoe sees your running a small pipe
Comment: geeked
#43604
<Rob-iwiwc> imagine if the pope got up now
<Rob-iwiwc> think that might cause an increase in catholics?
<@HPZ> Rob-iwiwc: that's a damned good idea. They should've planned it that way.
<@HPZ> What a brilliant recruitment strategy.
<sprawl_gnome> worked for Jesus
Comment: #fark
#46638
<fr_gment> If "pro" is antonymic to "con," what is antonymic to "progress?"
<blarg> WTF is "con-gress?"
<blarg> Oh, wait...
#306745
<pheand> she asks me about jehova witnessing and i told her i was jewish; she goes, "it's okay, I'm lebanese!!" with all the zeal in the world spouting from her
#300794
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo
#1484
(SiNs-) $1,599.99
(SiNs-) $1,599.70
(SiNs-) Save $0.29
(SiNs-) wow
(SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut
#303898
<AndrewBC> My favorite password is "incorrect"
<AndrewBC> that way when I get it wrong, they remind me
<AndrewBC> "Your password is incorrect"
#26223
<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!*Donnyku@*
* Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6 months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it die.)
#15183
<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe". i didn't get the job.
#26289
<DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."
#16254
<Serevok> does your penis reach the city of Montreal?
<Cheezric> I'm talking 5, maybe ten minutes tops.
<Cheezric> Well, we jews are blessed.
<Serevok> with choping off your cocks at birth?
#16780
<Slime> Whenever hot chicks come up to me I always end up, like, vomitting everywhere and somehow my pants fall down, and then someone has a black eye, and everything goes wrong
#4695
<zathras> This game of rhymes is eating at my brain, I beg of thee, sir, for the love of god, refrain!
<Deliphos> I cannot! In my blood it doth runneth! Hush thee now, lest I cap with my gunneth!
#27253
<@DieHard> dock
<@DieHard> my neighbors house is on fire!
<@Forty> DH!
<@Forty> RUN
<@Forty> SAVE THE PENTIUMS
<@DieHard> i run amd
#51512
<matja> well, i _tried_ to read the case study on why windows is more stable than linux, but IE crashed while opening the pdf
Comment: As stable as einsteinium maybe.
#14788
<s___> nair is scary
<s___> ive always been afraid i would go too near it at the grocery store
<s___> and it would spray me in the crotch or something
#14500
@(F|uid) candlelight dinners suck
@(F|uid) i cant see my food
#55361
<fruitkat> i think i laughed because it was coupled with the word butter. butter pickle. hehe.
* pickle slowly walks away whilst smiling and nodding...
<fruitkat> :)
<fruitkat> im not CRAZY
<fruitkat> now im imagining a pickle smiling and nodding
<fruitkat> STOP IT!
Comment: #qx