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#294937
* nobu^ (*@*.*) Quit (Quit: When two people dream the same dream, it ceases to be an illusion.)
<j3_optrix> When two people dream the same dream, it's a pointer error.
#86255
*** Saul has joined #general
<Saul> Man, today was awesome.
<Saul> We all got sent home like 5 hours early because the whole system shorted out and went down.
<kilik> explain.
<Saul> Well, in our office, the doors are always left open because the air con doesnt work.
<Saul> And as a result flies come in from outside.
<Saul> Last year we got some of those electric fly killers installed, you know the ones that glow blue and zap the flies that fly into them?
<Saul> Well today I'm at the watercooler taking a 5-min break.
<Saul> And I swear to God, the biggest bluebottle on the face of the Earth buzzes in.
<Saul> It's like 3 inches long.
<Saul> Goes straight for the zapper and flies into it.
<Saul> The explosion knocked out the power to the entire floor.
#18236
<Sniperwolf> Im intending to whip you with meh cat5 if you dont shut up!
#60302
<Babushka> i have to piss
<nash> then go piss :P
<Babushka> i can't
<nash> why not
<Babushka> because...there's a baby spider that is using my right pant's leg as a mooring for his web...i don't want to ruin his work
<nash> ahhaha
<Babushka> i haven't left this seat for nearly three hours. i better have a damn good excuse for my husband when he gets home and asks why the fuck i pissed myself
#30303
<Dekkon> the meaning of life is as follows:
<Dekkon> "up up down down left right left right B A select start"
#48194
<Eviscero> so i made a new girlfriend.
<+eggburt> but then she melted?
#298636
<Gilded> Info: I am now "the Insane" in WoW and have thus won in life
<Gilded> That is all
<insane_alien> winning in life and playing WoW are mutually exclusive
#296772
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so i got a good story for all of you
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yesterday the supreme bitch brought in her home laptop because i needed to set it up for remote access
<Kayeffem|wrkin> while it was here she decided to bitch about how the screen isnt used up all the way and there are spaces on the sides
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now this is a 17" widescreen laptop
<Kayeffem|wrkin> and it's being used at the max widescreen resolution
<Kayeffem|wrkin> as i play around with it i notice that there's nothing wrong and the screen is just fine
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so she tells me to goto the internet and goto a webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> where i find out her real problem
<Kayeffem|wrkin> the websites that she likes to visit dont expand to fit multiple resolutions
<Kayeffem|wrkin> thus causing empty space to the left and right of the main webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now apparently this is a big enough problem for her that she's going to purchase a second laptop that's smaller
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so that the websites will take up the full screen with no gaps
<JackWat|Lap> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<JackWat|Lap> Kayeffem|wrkin: thats fuckin crazy
<Adam^2> crazy bitch is crazy
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yea, i almost asked her if she was fucking with me
#1137
<notgoth> FUCK DAMN IT
<notgoth> i shot cum in my eye
<notgoth> fuck that burns
<notgoth> i was jerking off
<notgoth> and damn!
<notgoth> ow
<enex> were you jerking off to your dick or something?
#182
<Infe5> A PS2 costs ?40,000, a PSOne costs ?15,000, and a Hello Kitty DC costs ?28,800. :(
<EtherMan> how much is that in real money
#6281
<sylwia> Everything from this point on is dependant on you being able to relax your anus
#5786
<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret passage
#19391
<Vulpes> I feel fine.
<Su-chan> Goooooooood.
<Su-chan> *hands Vulpes a cookie*
<Vulpes> Actually, I have a slight tummyache. Too many cummy bears, I think.
<Vulpes> ...
<Vulpes> gummy.
<Vulpes> I'm going to go back to writing now.
#30517
<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for a server so he finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?"
#3043
<Jumper> there's an old saying in this part of ze world: you're not a real geek until you've scored sex through IRC
<Jumper> irl sex, that is
<smiler> Jumper: We figured =)
<smiler> Jumper: can you even say you scored if you get cybersex?
<smiler> Jumper: That would be a REAL geek.
<Jumper> smiler: that would just be a looser
#37274
<Feer|work> I need to have my house reinsulted
<Cowboy> your house SUCKS
<Cowboy> your house is the WORST HOUSE EVER
<Feer|work> yeh it needs some insulation
<Cowboy> oh i thought you said insulted
<Feer|work> i have a new AC unit
<Feer|work> lol
<Feer|work> i did
<Feer|work> insulated
<Feer|work> i meant
<Cowboy> well ur house still SUCKS
<Feer|work> it sucks in the hot air from outside
Comment: #CkB irc.gamesurge.net
#38913
<+DX_> Neo: do they spell porn "pourn" in britain?
#20063
<Konami> huge mofo assignment due friday
<Konami> that i haven't started
<silique> oh....
<silique> that's in two days....
<silique> is it big?
<Konami> yes
<Konami> yes, it is
* silique shakes his head
<silique> why...
<silique> didn't you do it earlier?
<Konami> umm
<Konami> because
<Konami> it was more fun and easier to not do it
#6721
<PUTZINGoff> Does a kid wake up one day and say Mommy/Daddy I want to grow up to be a PROCTOLOGIST!!!!!
#225287
<T1gger> I just screwed up severely...
<T1gger> I brought a girl (a big girl) home and it went further than it should have...
<T1gger> Her arse is gone now, but how do I let her down gently?
<deNYEd> forklift.
#28866
<blue09> Eldritch, did you buy the game, or, *cough*
* Eldritch coughs
<blue09> how large? *cough*
<blue09> i mean.. how many.. micro.. bullions.. in your.. (i)soup..
<Eldritch> 166mb *cough*
<blue09> *cough* can i try some of your *cough* (i)soup? *cough*
<blue09> i need it for my *cough* cold *cough*
<Eldritch> sure
<Eldritch> wait for me to set up my soup server *cough*
<blue09> *cough*
<Eldritch> or would you rather dcc?
<Eldritch> er.. I mean instant soup
#75339
* Gangstar (~Gangstar@538ee73.1366fc9a.ma.comcast.net) has joined #wpi
<@UnityDivide> well, more accurately, "Grievous hunted Jedi for sport and kept his victims' lightsabers as trophies of his conquests within his cloak."
<+Toba> hi Gangstar
<+Toba> fyi we aren't always giant star wars nerds
<Gangstar> i am
Comment: #wpi
#9080
<Umbillical_ED>seems like there's a lot of out of work java developers
<st0w> yeah
<st0w> that's 'cause everybody is finally realizing....
<st0w> JAVA SUCKS
<Umbillical_ED>y u say dat?
<st0w> because one day... I went to a farm, right?
<st0w> and there was this horse
<st0w> and he had this MASSIVE cock
<st0w> and I looked underneath it
<st0w> and I saw the little Java mascot with it's lips parted and the majority of the horse's unit inside it's mouth
#297669
<@baka> anyone here ever eaten sushi off a naked woman?
<Sloshed> no thanks
<@baka> i'm intrigued
<@Sadrak> I'd volunteer to do the dishes
#12798
<teknoho> im not drinking hard liquor for a lil while. i gave it up for lent.
<mmmichael> what does lent do to you?
<mmmichael> does it fuck you up?