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#32487
<tuckt26> Ok, so I am looking at some porn right...
<ZekeMacNeil> what a great way to start a story
<tuckt26> A typical... hot girl at her desk
<LordCrank> and it turned out it was your mom?
#49031
< plasmadis> marijuana is a gateway drug to the hard stuff
< pescypes> the only thing marijuana is a gateway to is me ordering a pizza
#5543
<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo
<andy> no wait
#304483
<warpy> i guess i should just go to bed, election results won't be up for another few hours anyway
<bucketmo> just go to bed with your window open
<bucketmo> if prop 19 passes, you'll smell it.
Comment: ~7PM 11/2/10
#305552
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#43085
<Hardstuff> I am THE internet
<Kushan> dude, your body consists of 90% porn?
#49957
<shen> aah!
<shen> cat!
<shen> get off me, cat
<shen> I just gave you food, now go away, I am trying to type
<shen> no, don't purr, go and sit on your pillows
<shen> ...
<shen> you know, I should really shout at the cat, instead of just talking on IRC like this
#7110
<@Spider124> Gay ass homo, as opposed to "Hetero Ass homo"
#43460
--- Topic for #linuxgeneration is wget ftp://vatican.org/pope/current/stable/pope-265.0.tgz && tar zxvf pope-265.0.tgz && cd pope-265.0 && ./configure --prefix=/rome/vatican && make && make install_pope
#67775
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson
#14519
Craig> craig's penis - 8===========================D O: - spooky
<Spooky> Your "penis" is less that 3 inches long.
#57089
Biffa: ..I said "Do you love mummy?" She said yes. I said "Do you love daddy?" She said yes. I said "Do you love me?" She said yes. I thought "aaah bless, how sweet". I was so happy. But I wasn't sure if she meant it, so as a test I said "Do you love Hitler?" She said yes. I thought "Bugger, she'll say yes to anything." But I felt better when I took her home, she showed me her bedroom and it was covered with pictures of Hitler.
#9645
<reflexive> WHAT'S COOL ABOUT THIS JOB
<reflexive> IS THAT I GET ALL THE COFFEE I WANT.
<reflexive> ehehehehhehehe.
<|reptile|> coffee blackens your teeth, taints your breath, and thrashes your nerves.
<reflexive> ...where's the downside?
#28887
<fred> i say, you shoot three people, because they won't make you apple pie, and all of a sudden you are a "murderer". what is the world coming to?
<fred> and then when the police have the audacity to come to "talk" they don't bring any pie with them. rude.
<fred> i hope you all realise my one phone call was wasted on this dial up connection.
#1152
<th0m> i hate clicking on ad banners
<th0m> because i hear a little like clink of a coin going into an
asshole's bank account
#73869
<GuyBridge> My mom wont let me get the wii because she thinks I might use the controller as a vibrator or something
<GuyBridge> >_<
#16475
<Logan> I have to say that sex ruined pornography for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.
#307156
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'
Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
#38557
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions
#295235
* P2E is definitely not an expert
<derf> That makes two of us.
<P2E> uh, yeah, but I'm even less of an expert than that
<derf> There's only one way to fix that.
<P2E> aw, but reading is so HARD
<derf> No, I meant do stupid things repeatedly until you learn something.
Comment: #vorbis
#1753
<Squizzle> WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.
#15942
<SamGod> I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands in the stream of water, and all of a sudden I stop and get TOTALLY grossed out and I'mlike "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking I just got a ton of piss all over my hands. Then I realize it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out of it, not piss. What the HELL was my brain thinking?
#298760
<Jason Iscariot> To me, every commercial just advertises TiVo.
#18080
<wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser
#150718
<Panteleimon> i bought a copy of brawl just to smash it with a hammer
<bannedfox> Panteleimon: was it worth it?
<Panteleimon> totally.
<Tenchi> heh
<Panteleimon> cuz i waited in a line to get it
<Panteleimon> and then i took it outside
<Panteleimon> and waited for the store to run out of copies
<Panteleimon> and i was like I HAVE A COPY
<Panteleimon> and i opened it up and smashed it with a hammer
<Panteleimon> and fanboys cried
<TerrorBite> You have just won your googly-eyed self a motherfucking internet.