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#125661
<@DJ> Oh man.
<@DJ> I got so excited.
<@DJ> I saw Pokemon the First Season on sale.
<@DJ> And almost bought it.
<@DJ> Then I remembered I was 18.
#4713
<DCBastard> hey i could get ven to install that saturn modchip that i got him to send me last year
<travolta> ven?
<travolta> who is ven?
<CraiZE> he means VeNoM
<DCBastard> see when you like someone you abreviate their name - that's why I always call you travolta
#297171
<bigman> dude, i just drew a bunch of cocks all over my textbook
<bigman> like whenever someone is standing, there would be a penis there in front of their face
<razor> isn't that kinda gay...
<bigman> only if they're male
<razor> no, i mean the fact that you enjoy drawing penises
<razor> you're like the guy from superbad who couldn't stop drawing dicks
<razor> and you think you're the next best thing because you're drawing them in peoples' faces?
<bigman> dude, that's low
<bigman> i'm gonna take our old yearbook and draw a big schlong where your mouth is
<razor> ...
#956
(jesdynf) If you could do it, though, you could hire kids to pedal bikes if your uptime meant that much to you... though watt for watt, you'd be better off having them steal car batteries.
#301226
<crschmidt> twitter is terrible
<crschmidt> but i use it as well
<crschmidt> i, in fact, twitterd from the altar, when I got married
<crschmidt> and 6 phones in the audience went off
#35800
TheAntiCrust: WTF is an installshield??? To defend me vs. the install dragon?
#30643
<SDS91> she's 80 pounds, it would be like having sex with a child
<MaTriX-> omg, tell her to put on a little weight
<MaTriX-> u'll be fucking bones
<MaTriX-> :p
<SDS91> no thanks
<SDS91> I have no problem fucking children
#1674
<SlimZ> i like my pickup line
<SlimZ> "move i need to get a drink"
#255470
(+ShinSR71) if i commit suicide i would probably dress up as someone from Naruto to get the show banned
#308003
<kuyler> This voice recognition kind of socks
#36156
<@ICY> ANY NEWS YOU FECKERS?
<@cepe> IM ANNOYED
<@cepe> ISP SI MUCH FAG
<@ICY> CLEARLEY
<@ICY> I HAVE SPENT ALL DAY ANSWERING EMAILS FROM PEOPLE WHO ONLY WRITE TECH SUPPORT QUESTIONS ABOUT PALMS LIKE THIS THE FUCKERS
<@cepe> 'NEAT'
<@ICY> I wish I could reply "Turn the fucking caps lock off you cock,you'r scum,the scum of the world,your giving me a headache and I dont really want to help you now"
<@ICY> cept I have to reply "Thank you for contacting PalmOne Technical Support..." etc
<@ICY> fs
#2895
<blazemore> RZR033DCC IS OFFERING VIRUSES INFECTED WITH WAREZ
#2438
<Amanda`> it's confirmed
<Amanda`> roommate is having sex again, right now
<Amanda`> HOLY SHIT
<Amanda`> I HEAR LIKE
<Amanda`> SUCTION NOISES
#19338
PeaceKeeperKate> woah PKD your popular
PKDainichi> Yep. Well, if by "popular", you mean "easy". ;)
#22760
<fabutron> so we were at sonic the other day (which is a drive up restraunt like in the fifties, for those of you that don't have sonic) and we made a joke about punching the waitress in the uterus and over the little drive up radio the guy was like "we can still hear you"
#6862
* AlecWire fires a crossbow dart through the arrow, landing it in Foe's crotch.
Foenix: HA! Joke's on you! I had no plans to use that for years!
#31969
<edisk> wtf
<edisk> webmd says not to use topical salicylic acid on unborn babies
<edisk> Now, how you're gonna wipe down a fetus with an oxy pad I don't know
Comment: irc.nerdtopia.org #lobby
#55078
ppcCube: my daughter found a big pile of pennies the other day in some parking lot... "as she was picking them up, a passer by asked 'oh do you collect pennies?'" and my daughter blurts out "Pennies?! screw that, i collect money"
#8731
<cams> i dont like risking it. you can never tell if that "Lesbian House Party" hardcore porn turns out to be "Donky Anal Rape"
<Meat_PoPs> or vise versa
#203271
<Croc> Okay well I got this new girl home
<Croc> One thing led to another and you know
<Croc> well in the awkward moment after sex
<Croc> but before anything else happened yet
<Croc> I had the strangest impulse
<Croc> I took some left over cum and smothered it on her forehead and said "Simba..."
#15704
<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you at Verio!
#599
[16:56] <van|go`eagles> btw
[16:56] <van|go`eagles> your gf sucks at cs
[16:57] <en4cer> lol
[16:57] <en4cer> shes better at other things
[16:57] <Grifter-> like quake?
[16:57] <en4cer> lol
#61856
<@ectweak> so
<@ectweak> I ordered a BLT
<@ectweak> and the girl behind the counter goes "do you want everything on it?"
<@ectweak> and I look at her and go "of course! I wouldn't have ordered a BLT if I didn't want bacon, lettuce, or tomato on it"
<@ectweak> and she goes "no, I mean like onions"
<@ectweak> and I stare at her for a few seconds
<@ectweak> and go "if I wanted onions, I'dve ordered a BLOT, not a BLT"
#8065
<biatch> who the hell are you gnostic
<gnostic> i am your god damn nemesis
<gnostic> any other questions?
<Madeleine> what are you wearing?
#308438
<Migs> what does it mean when critics say a movie is "smart?"
<gildean> they didn't understand it