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#310214
<kmc> hm hitler probably did one thing that I like too
<kmc> he banned tubas, I guess I am neutral on tubas
<Fiora> oh! he killed hitler
<kmc> oh yeah, there we go
<kmc> thanks Fiora
<Bike> he also killed the guy who killed hitler
#305813
<Dr_Pressure> Q: How can you tell if somebody owns an Apple product?
<Dr_Pressure> A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
#92689
<Therrol> I just send something to robyn that I did not mean to
<Allison> well depending on what it is it may not matter
<Allison> or it really could result in a mess..
<Therrol> I told her I was going to kill her and have sex with her eyesockets
<Allison> every time that goes through my head it just gets worse
#12263
<ducks> HOLY SHIT
<ducks> THAT WAS A MILKSHAKE?!?!?!?!
<ducks> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<ducks> og my god. that was disgusting.
<ducks> I had this cup on my desk
<ducks> for a few months
<ducks> thinking there was soda in it
<ducks> IT WAS A MILKSHAKE
#27791
<Dragonaut> ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun dildoman is cumming!
<Krizzz989> remember earlier when you were asking how many beers is to much?
#299924
<Funkmob> He's replaced Coke with Code... he does hundreds of lines a night.
#59779
[@turk]: i was in math class today and we were doing equations that allow us to decide the best price for a certain product
[@turk]: with a given amount of production cost, employee salaries, etc
[@turk]: so, the teacher asks, how can we minimize the production costs
[@turk]: someone yells out:
[@turk]: hire mexicans
#51577
<Theropissed> Hey tuqui
<Theropissed> I enlisted.
<Tuqui-tuqui> yes vash :D
<Tuqui-tuqui> schweet!
<Tuqui-tuqui> you have server IP?
<Theropissed> ...
<Theropissed> as in
<Theropissed> joined the army.
<Theropissed> ...
<Tuqui-tuqui> oh...
Comment: #cainslair, etg
#37801
<kurt> hahaha
<kurt> i just looked outside and the guy with two 200+ pound irish wolfhounds is walking them without leashes, hes just carrying a big piece of chicken that they're following around
#7375
<Philgone> also what is wrong with keeping your penis in a woman
* Philgone strokes his cabbage patch doll
<Philgone> toasty warm
<BFG> is her name cynthia veronica picklesbury?
<Philgone> no.. roland
#222135
InfernalTempestX: she's like
InfernalTempestX: you'll never change
InfernalTempestX: i'm like
InfernalTempestX: you'll never lose weight
#12079
<Meekitty> One day, I will become a Fairy Prince.
<Meekitty> This involves a sex change, killing thousands of dragonflies, and a multitude of staples.
#51585
blucracksmurf: i tried to read the case study on why windows is more stable than linux, but IE crashed while opening the pdf
#22682
<Gordo> Me? I'm 23.
<Gordo> Wait, I'm 24...
<Gordo> Shit, it was my brithday yesterday!!!
#48810
<+Toba> fuck
<+Toba> I deleted the wrong file
<+Toba> yay backups
<%CompHobbyist> ahahaha
<+Toba> TAB COMPLETE IS NEVER YOUR FRIEND
<%CompHobbyist> no it isn't Twiz
<%CompHobbyist> errrrr
<%CompHobbyist> I mean
<%CompHobbyist> Toba
<%CompHobbyist> *&@#*ING TAB COMPLETE
Comment: #WPI
#307708
* rycuda has just been offered an amp
<@Al> After being given a shock like that it's wise to have a coulomb-down period
<@mgsts> I'm trying to decide watt a suitable punishment for these awful puns is
<@OneCruelBagel> mgsts: it's not his volt, he has troubles at ohm.
<@OneCruelBagel> We should let him have some peace faraday.
#61394
<Retro> ok so this morning my friend brings in a huge tub of peanut butter
<Retro> crunchy style
<Retro> and says he'll give me 20$ to eat it all
<Retro> two hours later, I had twenty bucks and diarrhea
#52688
<Mal> OK, so one of the guys we hired for Christmas was telling us a story from his last job yesterday...
<Mal> A bunch of senior management guys came down for the weekend, and took some junior management guys (store managers and stuff) out camping.
<Mal> So they're out there in the bush and they're doing a bonding exercise where they skin kangaroos they've shot.
<Mal> They're busy getting drunk that night when the senior guys chip in $25 and dare one of the junior guys to fuck one of the skinned kangaroos. He refuses, they up the ante to $50, and he fucking does it. Fucks a skinned kangaroo.
<Mal> The guy wakes up the next morning in his tent, and the skinned kangaroo he fucked the night before has been put in the sleeping bag beside him. Not only did this poor bastard fuck a dead, skinless kangaroo, he then slept with it!
<Wad_S> LOL, that's awesome! Where'd he work?
<Mal> That's the best part.
<Mal> He worked at Burger King.
#16376
<BabyDuck> i fucked my wrists playing a pinball game on my PC
<BabyDuck> but I played like 400 games, which would cost $100 at the arcade. I bought the game for $15, so I have saved $85 so far
#3448
<timmo> you know what makes me laugh
<timmo> web cam chicks
<timmo> who try to lick their own nipples
<timmo> but fall short
#11291
<prok> heh they set up one of those temporary radar speed detector things yesterday, the ones that tell you how fast you're going
<prok> with a big sign
<prok> i did about 5 laps around it trying to get my car up to 120
<ShizCakes> You know it takes your picture if it starts blinking when you go past it, right?
<prok> whoops
#40309
* brit is now known as ILIKEPLANTERSNUTS
* defaulrt is now known as PLANTERS
#8072
*** LiL^EbBiE was kicked by Avatar (it's rude to not reply when someone's talking to you)
<Avatar> i'm gonna be a great father
<arturo> sif
<arturo> you'll just gaffer tape them up when they say rude words and kick them out of the room every time they play up
#1293
<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> HAHA
<ApOkAliPs> well...
<ApOkAliPs> depends where you aim it...
#265
<hypr> i rember in kindergarden the teach took me upsidedown by my ankles and swung me around cause i wasent eating my pees..
<hypr> fucking bitch