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#37265
* ankleteeth looks for good pr0n
<Eldritch> tell me if you find any o_O
<Eldritch> good porn is like... 5 leafed clovers
#307039
<scoff> Look, the watermelon was being microwaved to defrost it, and I don't know how my pants fell down when I tripped but those pictures are my intellectual property
#28756
<mef> <chem> IM my friend gray then
<mef> <chem> Hes got so much porn he gets popups when hes browsing his own pc
#103633
Bahamut: so my dog is annoying my dad
Bahamut: and he just threatened to grill him
Bahamut: and my dog ran away
Comment: my family is viet
#136
<LkTruth1> I am the most intelligence person in this channel.
#7485
<Chrizto> show me a chick worth worrying about after you're not the one fucking them anymore and I'll show you the value of the imaginary number i
#304195
<NCommander> Don't let someone with an uncontrolled seizure history give you oral sex
#301051
<Corey> Why is everyone in It's a Wonderful Life so stupid?
<Corey> Main character: Oh, I lost some money, got angry at my family and got hit by a guy. I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
<Corey> Clarence: I can show you how life was if you never existed.
<Corey> Main character: Why does nobody recognize me?!
<Corey> Clarence: Because in this reality, you don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: My wife and mother don't know me!
<Corey> Clarence: You.... don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: Why's the town have a different name?!
<Corey> Clarence: YOU. DON'T. EXIST.
<Corey> Main character: Where did my kids go?!
<Corey> Clarence: Fuck it, jump off the bridge, I don't care.
#7609
<xorg> If I say "Eject" and you say "What?", you'll be talking to yourself.
#5449
<oogie> I wonder would oral sex would feel like from one of those african women with the big plate in their lower lip
<oogie> you could have a little tray to rest your nuts on on her lower lip
#295832
<Arkatera>"Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML"
<EsuriatCorinths>Haha, owned.
<EsuriatCorinths>Never trust a toddler.
<EsuriatCorinths>all toddlers are chaotic neutral
<EsuriatCorinths>Well
<eIat10s>Wonderful description.
<EsuriatCorinths>Very occasionally you will find a chaotic evil toddler
<EsuriatCorinths>All are chaotic, though.
#21987
<demiurge> why dont you unban me from bots already
<demiurge> helo?
<TML> 501 5.0.0 HELO requires domain address
#309512
< elliott> As mentioned in the outline history section a French artillery officer by the name of Nicholas Cugnot (1729-1804) made a steam three-wheeler intended for military use in 1769. This was arguably the first 'motor vehicle' although the small boiler could carry only enough water for a fifteen minute run and the maximum speed was about 4mph.
< elliott> In spite of these limitations on his first road trial of the three wheeler machine, making him arguably the first motorist, M. Cugnot hit a wall, becoming the first motorist to have an accident, and after several more experiments he scored the hat trick by becoming the first person to be arrested and imprisoned for dangerous driving.
#301701
Matt: im never going to sleep again
Matt: I just had a dream that consisted of me attempting to save the world in a zombified universe. Saving it meant finding a cigar from 7-11 (it HAD to be 7-11) so that I could shove it up my ex girlfriends ass (who was with another guy because he's better at his job than me) and light the cigar, prompting it to turn into a rocket and launch her into the moon.
#28797
<poopy> Out of convicted rapists, 57% admitted to reading pornography. 95% admitted to reading the Bible.
<mst_> biblese.cx?
Comment: #geekissues
#2113
<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for '01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin limp?
#54151
<Diamond> But then again, as a programmer I'm obsessed with code that just plain looks good.
<Diamond> I want to look at code and go "You are a beautiful woman"
<Diamond> And then, I make love to it by adding on to it.
<Diamond> I'm a very romantic programmer.
#1083
<thinkmad> vvhat is pengs real name
<timmo> chris
<timmo> is your w broken?
<thinkmad> no
#28515
(Omnicronx): i overclocked my penis and it caught on fire
#13331
<BlazinIndo> you can call me mentally retarded, but i feel good right about now
<Ludwig> thats cus you're too stupid to know you're mentally retarded
<Ludwig> its a catch 22
<BlazinIndo> i dont see what your getting at....
#10185
<Mike_McCormick> how do you change your name? i tried /nick Mike but it won't work
<Mike> that's because I have that one dingleberry
#24015
<Medicore> BB later guys.. i'm off to Africa (South Africa)
<NotSoDamn1337Now> how long is later?
<Medicore> You know me with times: 1year 1day 6hours 19mins
<SGR> Oh yeah... only think about yourself.. i'm going to africa..
<SGR> you never throught onece about #peeps did you?
<SGR> thourght*
<Medicore> B.L.E.H
<SGR> :'(
* Medicore is /AWAY :: Gone 'to south africa' :: Back: ~366 days [Left: Jun10 @ 14:18] [PAGER off]
<SGR> If you die while being away i want your ops and your mp3's - put it in your will!
<NotSoDamn1337Now> why is he so damn impulsive?
<SGR> who cares..
#3743
<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy
#73363
* Wordsmith fights with a video
<Wordsmith> ... having a Codec moment
#36241
<Rentasmo> it's not really that gross
<Rentasmo> would it be better if I said "baby bag" instead of uterus?
<icy_one> you will notice that while men would like to be inside a woman, they don't want to KNOW about the insides
<icy_one> theres a certain... mystery about it that way
<icy_one> you know, like sticking your hand in a hole in a tree
<icy_one> is there an EVIL BADGER inside? maybe
<icy_one> but if you told me there was an evil badger inside, i probably wouldn't put my hand in the hole