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#31938
<@X_Raided|> anglish is the one subject where i dont ave 2 think
<@X_Raided|> i got an A there
<@X_Raided|> *english
#2812
<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses
#19338
PeaceKeeperKate> woah PKD your popular
PKDainichi> Yep. Well, if by "popular", you mean "easy". ;)
#302246
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> ...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
#145960
Reiver: How fast are the taps?
Mango: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
Mango: about that fast
#24947
-Skandranon- Sorry for this services thing. Some 13-year old never-get-a-date is flooding us again. Perhaps once he realizes there are two types of people (boy people, and girl people) he'll find something else to do. [global message, all replies will be fed to some animal]
#65605
<Burningmace> I had a customer in hysterics today at work
<+KPR> how come?
<Burningmace> Well, we sell lots of things that have different types, so sometimes you can buy assorted packs
<Burningmace> He was buying some flavoured condoms... assorted ones, so the computer automatically prepends "Assorted" to the start of it
<Burningmace> So I put it through and hand him the reciept and he checks it and starts laughing
<+KPR> huh?
<Burningmace> I took a look at the reciept, and because the line didn't fit on the paper, it'd truncated the first word.
<Burningmace> So he'd bought some Ass Flavoured Condoms.
Comment: It's a laugh a minute at Lidl
#13483
<DjLizard> click HERE for free Chocobo porn.
<DET> all I got was channel info
<DjLizard> :D
<DjLizard> well, click here for free channel info.
#26296
«Narc|LAG»: Yaleman rebooted the ricetek server today. 291 days of uptime gone :o
«Cav»: is that like losing a family member?
#299993
<Dingo> I hate snipers <.<
<Starcraftmazter> I don't see any snip-
#14019
<ion-> at least she has correctly proportioned genetalia
<ion-> within two standard deviations from the mean
#30031
<KyleYankan> im not fat
<KyleYankan> :-(
<KyleYankan> I'm big boner.
<KyleYankan> uh....
<KyleYankan> typo.
Comment: heh..
#25606
<Drugdown> Everyone makes mistakes.
<Fleebis> Especially you.
#2546
<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi
#16248
(jbk) I think i'm going to get some alcohol this weekend seeing as i'm done with building robots
(jbk) and that calls for a celebration :)
(_none) jbk: youre probably the only person that has ever said that sentence
#4718
<tormy> hey when u burn games in discjuggler, under the advance tab... should the block be 2048?
<DCBastard> leave the advanced tab alone
<DCBastard> if you were advanced you'd know how to use it
#13629
<Flirbnic> The American dream is to move to Canada.
#55144
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!"
#54036
<+lax> i feel like an asshole
<+lax> at lunch we couldnt decide if this person was a girl or boy
<+lax> i said it was a girl
<+lax> and so we all chipped in a dollar
<+lax> and someone went over and asked
<+lax> and she started crying
#8149
<Vertinox> >< jesus you eleetists
<Vertinox> i curse joe and anarch to die of prostate cancer at the age of 64
<Vertinox> you just remember that
<Soulflame> hehe
<Soulflame> DIE
<Exile> why not make it next year? curse them to die at age 14
*** Exile was kicked by Joe_ (I'm 17, jAckass.)
#13254
<Arno> i got kicked off a cray at school for running "pine"
#7969
<Ron`> My wife doesn't get paid for 2 years
<HeroShot> What is she, a whore?
<Ron`> Actually, one night I came home and I found 200 dollars on my dresser...
<Phrak|t> Damn... she left $400 on mine
#21072
<eva> hey when will i be able to buy the matrix phone
<eva> cause i am definetly buying that
<Potrod> What's the matrix phone?
<NuttO> It's an ugly piece of shit made by Samsung
<Potrod> What does it look like?
<NuttO> Imagine a brick, now keep imagining a brick and call it a phone.
<eva> whatever dudes, youll all be green with jealousy from all that matrix code running down your face while i clik it open and ask my mom to borrow the car
#14249
<andjusticeforall> I've figured it out. If you ever get mugged by someone, just say, "Take it easy man, all I got is a $16 bill", then knee him in the nuts when he tries to figure out what the fuck you just said.
#32495
<VariQuiz> fuckers
* VariQuiz is now known as Varitek
<somniloquy> arsemunch
<dionysian> dicklick
<Varitek> cuntbreaths
<dionysian> testicularwaste
<somniloquy> goatrimmer
<Varitek> fucknuggets
<dionysian> analclenches
<somniloquy> wankstaves
<arch-w0kr> kakwheels
<dionysian> pubiczirconia
<Varitek> chuffchuggers
<somniloquy> jizzguzzlingbitchwhores
<arch-w0kr> chodegobblers
<Varitek> jismlickers
<Varitek> I must admit, I like 'pubiczirconia'
<dionysian> Varitek, you would like pubiczirconia