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#28339
<@Rjx> I just spent 3 minutes trying to find the wire to my headphones
<@Rjx> then I realised.....THEY ARE WIRELESS HEADPHONES
Comment: #geekissues
#304489
<+teratos> I am sick and dying
<+teratos> It was nice knowing you friends
<+}> teratos: what are you suffering from?
<+teratos> Pizza Hut Lunch Buffet
#1728
<Jeffwey> i will buy a camoflouged condom so u wont see me coming
#2104
<Tim_K> last time I jumped into a convertible.. I nearly got but-fucked by the gear shifter..
#308521
<Pryoidain> I saw the new (old) arp-ing joke post on qdb, and just for a split second of amusement, set every device on my network to have the same IP as my laptop.
<Pryoidain> Now in my head, the intended result was for my lil ultrabook to ask the router "Hey who am I? Here's my IP." and think it had suddenly become a sun box
<Pryoidain> "THE COMPUTER IS THE NETWORK, I AM ALL OF YOU"
<Pryoidain> In reality, I turned the next 57 minutes of my monday morning into a frantic scrabbling to get the network back functional before I had to leave for work, and ended up giving myself a migraine.
#16631
<jonathans> this fettucine is so thick i thought for a second i was eating noodles and semen
<jonathans> its not very salty, though
#53334
<aCiD2> hey, im using sdl with opengl
<aCiD2> and my program runs at about 2fps when the mouse is still and 60 when it moves
<aCiD2> any ideas why?
<aCiD2> ah nvm
<aCiD2> im being an idiot (drawing code is in sdl_pollevent loop o.O)
#70545
<Clipsy> There's a review on slashdot of a book called "Creating Web Pages with Ajax," and I was thinking
<Clipsy> I'd like to make a book called "Creating Web2.0 Content for Dummies"
<Clipsy> and then when someone opens the book
<Clipsy> a boxing glove on a spring comes out and punches them in the face
#32294
<Travisimo> I always thought Pooh and Piglet were always happy because they weren't wearing pants.
#2483
<jason> life is like a rental car, you fuck it up, and give it back.
#35233
<J3anyus> sweet jesus i need to get motivated to finish up this semester. there's only 3 weeks left and i just can't get the motivation to go to class or do homework or anything :(
<GeechyAFK> Con someone into giving you a blowjob for every passing grade you receive
<J3anyus> brb, calling mom
#10682
<Birk> Since you know, you get to choose a name when you are pope
<Birk> If I ever became pope I would choose the name Perri.
<Birk> So then people would call me pope perri, and they would be forced to laugh whenever saying my name.
#28633
<tinks> ah i still remember when i got busted for drink driving...
"i swear to drunk officer im not god"
#55852
<axiom> heh my sister's friend got molested by a gay guy he had to share a bed with on a band trip..hahah
<Socks> what's so funny about that?
<axiom> he's working to become a priest
#4326
<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high!
#8571
## baguette is away since Mon Sep 10 12:31:41 2001 -- fuck
<screampuff> gee, that's not a bad reason to be away...
#2213
<purem> my sk00l had an anthrax scare today
<purem> it ended up being some poor guys coke :(
<purem> he's prolly gonna get expelled :/
<purem> or at least kicked outta the faculty
<purem> and then executed
<Morris> haha
<Morris> They mistook some coccaine for anthrax?
<purem> yeah
<Morris> hehe
<Morris> Poor guy
<Morris> All he wanted, was to do his lines.
<purem> ya
<purem> it's bad enough that he lost his coke, but he had to go and quarintine like 600 people into that building for like 4 hours
<purem> heh
<Morris> :/
<purem> rough day
<Morris> Coke heads around the world now lable their coke with "Not Anthrax" stickers.
<purem> "COCAINE INSIDE"
#2339
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.
#307294
M4arin: brb
Rwa: again?
Rwa: you need to start telling me what you're ditching me for, i'm bored.
Rwa: or maybe, you're not afk at all. you're probably sitting there, in front of your computer, getting annoyed by the new-message-on-steam sound as you try to focus on whatever porn you're watching and jacking off to?
M4arin: fuck you
M4arin is now Offline.
#12889
<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll".
#68761
<Rayder> If you are interested in being part of a the Knowledge Bowl Team, please come to a short meeting at 2:15 on Wednesday, September 27th. What is Knowledge Bowl you might ask? Well, it is rather like Jeopardy except more fun and only for high school students. Come and find out whether it's for you.
<Rayder> but where is the meeting?
<Dr_Pressure> looks like knowlege bowl is not for you
#36680
<t|to> mmm pound of weed
<Dmi> mmmmm, sexy girl at work whose ass is rocking like a ship out there in the deep blue sea during a thunderstorm
<Dmi> my network admin just imed me. he's like "Yeah, man, she *does* have a great ass"
#7090
<CrashCat> I could never place a personal ad. I would live on p0rn and irc before I got that far. oh wait
#2546
<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi
#52648
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof.