Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#6485
<blazemore> DJing with vinyl is like people still making soap from their own pig fat
#1356
<McGrue> You need messageboards?
<Sharkey> Certainly not 'need'. Probably not even want. I just occasionally have this nagging implacable emptiness that I think a message board might fill.
<Sharkey> Maybe I just need cock.
#1637
<_Delirium> "Perl is awk with skin cancer. And it's ugly too." -my cs professor
#47254
< Telal> "Sorry I came unglued earlier..."
< Telal> fuck that
< Akamu> Seriously
< Telal> she can stay on her side of the state
< Akamu> You know, you should turn gay.
< Akamu> Men don't do this shit in breakups
< Akamu> A fist fight and you can be freinds
< Telal> yeah, but then there's the buttsex
< Akamu> Well, everything has a downside
< Telal> haha
< Telal> I think that was the most objective discussion of homosexuality ever
Comment: in #moo on afternet
#23513
<Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
<Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex I'll get"
<Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I remember how that happened"
#297776
<DevXen> seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
#3602
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa
#5454
«+ Ryutaro » has anyone ever dreamt that they were food that was being eaten?
«+ Ryutaro » I cant find anyone else thats had a dream
«+ Ryutaro » I was mashed potatoes once
«+ Ryutaro » I felt like little bits of me were being swallowed and stuff, it was weird
«+ Ryutaro » then a week later I was jello
«+ Ryutaro » but nobody ate me
«+ Ryutaro » I just stood around jiggling
«+ Ryutaro » this was when I did drugs, lol
#21559
<EnergyWasp> or its your dumbass self's fault.
<EnergyWasp> having a white background, i cant say it surprises me
<Kill_Me> what color is yours EnergyWasp?
<Paralysis> blacker than Michael Jackson, KM
<Paralysis> er, shit
#306764
<@carlsson> Today is the birthday of the IBM PC and the Berlin wall!
<@carlsson> I wonder which one has caused most grief and suffering.
#115245
<riker> hey, do you know what the shortest sentence in english is?
<hazer> No.
<riker> thanks
#34227
<NatashaD> Up until this last generation my family refused to breed outside of the german heretage. Then my dad told his mom to get bent and married an Irish woman.
<NatashaD> The Germans won't speak to us, and the Irish won't speak to the Germans, so everyone pretty much leaves us alone.
<NatashaD> I'm not sure what the problem is but because they're all stupid I don't mind not having to talk to them.
<Chris23m{ab}> lol VERY nice
<NatashaD> Except that none of them sent me graduation presents, those ungrateful bastards.
#294943
<freyja> lmao a friend of mine sent me a link to a discussion on an icelandic forum for women
<freyja> this one is talking about her msn buddy, who said he just met Izzy Stradlin and Steven Adler (whoever they are), and wanted to show her on webcam the merchandise he got autographed and stuff
<edkletz> They were in Guns'N'Roses
<freyja> so she gets really excited, wants to see it, accepts the webcam, and there he sits naked with a huge boner and no souvenirs
<edkletz> "Surprise!"
<freyja> yeah surprise lol
<edkletz> Hey, wanna see my webcam?
<freyja> NO
#29258
<DrFaustus> yes...we've all had our mother's cunt tightly wrapped around our head...
<atarax> except me, I was a c-section. :)
<DrFaustus> you were to lazy to even be born eh?
#54442
<Dread> UR R R0nG j00 n3wbz! T4ht iz n0t m4thz, t4ht r t3h SUXX0Rz!1!! ZOMG URL4ME GET4LI3FLRN2PlYkTHXBYE1!1!
<Dread> ouch
<Dread> I think I sprained my brain trying to read that
<ct> you are wrong you new users of this system. That of which you speak is not related to mathematics, rather, it is something quite unacceptable. I swear to the Lord above that you are substandard in your abilities. Please, find a hobby which will distract you as you learn its intricacies. Thank you for your time and consideration, I bid you adieu.
<ct> translation is just one of the services I provide
#54903
<taste.it> mh... if one of us had to die right now and you could decide if it was you or me, who would you choose?
<wiesel> that's hard... well, i'd say i'd let you die... people are egoistic, that's the way it is
<taste.it> and you think you could live with that decision?
<wiesel> better than with the other one.
#8888
<tirloni> drolp, I was going to get a XP1900+, then a bill suddenly got in my table. Then I moved to a XP1500. Another bill, Duron. By the end of the month Iwas looking at the prices of a p133mmx
<aq> pharcyde: are you running a window manager?
<tirloni> now I'm happy with my calculator
#12244
<Olpainless|ChoresNCrap> D3ad - once when jehovahs came here, i told em we were from church of satan
<D3adlode> and what happened?
<Olpainless> They just went. Quickly
#306822
<CrazyRussian> I just finished Leisure Suit Larry 1 (again)
<CrazyRussian> It's amazing how much easier this game is when you speak English
#301332
SoccerGirl114: Today, I was having sex with this guy at a party when out of no where he yells at the top of his lungs, "mortal kombat!".
SoccerGirl114: His friends yelled back, "finish her!"
#36911
<euro-au> one of the vax's at work is on the filthiest (size wise) pair of ups's I've ever seen.
<euro-au> small microvax
<euro-au> runs some chem analysis and machine control software and isn't admined
<euro-au> scares me
<euro-au> they like pointing to the fact that it's not been rebooted since 1996, but also dislike being reminded that noone knows the sys passwd.
#53240
<DaFool> i just bought a chip for my car from ebay...i fucking bought like 5 things off the guy and he was supposed to send the chip but jus sent a cd
<LinuxFox> how much did it cost?
<DaFool> it was only 20 bucks with shipping but still wtf he made like 500 bucks off me already
<LinuxFox> people dont understand EBAY ...you send money for a item..and if they dont send it all ebay can do is close down their store or their account and you can leave a negative remark lol NO CONSEQUENSES!
<DaFool> well the only thing i dont get is that on the cd all it is is a video of a guy laughing holding a 20 up close :/
<DaFool> who the fuck would buy that?
<Lemmiwinks> you seriously dont see where this is going?
#35581
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> I'm not too happy with my Spanish teacher
<Mayseth> What'd he do?
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> She gave us some book about a kid who gets a magic ring and whenever he sees a painting, he goes back in time to that place where the picture was taken or painted
<Mayseth> How..gay..
<AiMeE[Away]> that sounds like a stupid book
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> So I asked her "Does he ever look at picture of Hiroshima or Nagasaki around 1945?"
#26368
<ecco> HELLO MICROSOFT WORD SPELLCHECK
<ecco> spellcheck results for 'adn': amputate, arthritis, antidisestablishmentarianism, samurai, tissue, jetpack, George Orwell
#304853
<Brend> "I have created a revolutionary AI from first principles! Also, can anyone tell me how to draw coloured dots on the screen?"