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#44206
[WhipSmart] how has humanity lasted this long..?
[Mordenkainen] because sharks can't walk
Comment: Quakenet #funchat
#39251
Searcher> Man, all my MacGyver'ing is going to come back and kill me. I just know it. Next to my bed, I have a chair stuck in the corner of the room. On either side of the corner, I have a two-by-four wedged. On top of the two-by-fours, I have a dowel rod duct-taped. Hanging from the dowel rods, just kind of hooked over the top, I have a fan, oscillating. Sitting on top the inverted fan's base, I have a speaker. One day, that speaker is going to fall on my head.
#22361
<yoda> wouldn't it be easier to go and read the docs on the site?
<rataxis> yoda: dear oh dear. 13 perfectly spelled and punctuated words, when 4 letters would do.
#3563
<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
<Slant> ANYTHING
<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.
#306822
<CrazyRussian> I just finished Leisure Suit Larry 1 (again)
<CrazyRussian> It's amazing how much easier this game is when you speak English
#7463
<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil overexcited
#11138
<t_SaBeR_t> Does your Army of Darkness have a dental plan?
#19541
<Samurai> She isn't forcing anyone! she haven't asked them of nothing½!
<enisoc> how the hell do you type a ½ symbol by accident??
#54081
<Rjx> the big bang doesn't explain a lot about the internet
<Rjx> internet?
<Rjx> universe
<Rjx> what the fuck
#11860
<Fozzie> why is it so hard to find a good windows font?
<Fozzie> bah
<Fozzie> what a craptastic os.
<dithi> you get what you pay for
<Fozzie> you mean the copies you buy are better?
#26264
* jitspoe feels fembot... fuzzy
* Fembot shaved
<jitspoe> not there you didn't
#5302
<@BitS> LordViper is serious about not playing multiplayer games, he even has sex by himself :/
#16698
*** marily-manson was kicked by Satan (amature)
#12089
<_luther_> Canada.. great place. They started a country and no one showed up.
#51058
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk
#303989
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point.
#30486
<[9mm]sircrap> 1shot whats your favorite level in cod
<boognish> level 10 cock of the infinite
<boognish> doh, sorry, wrong window
<boognish> =]
#16298
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health
#41105
<SilverHammy> I've only seen that in pornos
<SilverHammy> I mean, other people have seen that in pornos
#57445
<ozzybard> i had to get a new hdd today because the old one died on monday. Been so busy it has taken me this long to getting around to proving it
<lightguard> does it have porn on it yet?
<lightguard> i am of firm belief that all new hard drives should come with porn
<lightguard> it saves time, cause it's only going to end up on there later anyway
<ozzybard> that is probably why my old drive died... no porn
<lightguard> it has been conclusively proven that the life of the drive is directly related to the amount of porn on the drive
<lightguard> its like viagra for hardware :D
<Pyah-pyah> The more porn, the higher the chance of the drive crashing and consequently losing all that porn?
<lightguard> no, oddly enough.
<Pyah-pyah> That is odd
<lightguard> porn seems to have an effect on the stability of your system
<lightguard> for optimal running of windows XP, i recommend all Dell PC's be shipped with an additional 120gb drive filled with porn.
#7031
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> HATE
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> PAIN
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> LOATHING
<Somebob> Can I have some?
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> no. this is my own personal stock.
#8672
<Duck[STFUF]> you know ath, why did you change your name to avin...A, V, I and N are pretty much as farthest they can be from one another:<
<Jumper|TMC> BECAUSE IT'S HIS NAME
#25602
<LilGCube740-> im not an idiot i just dont like things that are too comlicated
#11393
<Dark_Brood> Next thing Mac will do is introduce the 1 button keyboard, you type by morsing the ASCII codes of the letter you want to write
#53284
<ShroomDuck> but the head we get here in ontario is fuckin horrible
<ShroomDuck> HEAT!
<ShroomDuck> I MEANT HEAT!