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#304895
< jMCg> With something's not right I meant: I just measured my temperature, and although I feel hot, it says 34.
< jMCg> I think I should try that again.
< jMCg> Much better results: 35.8
< jMCg> Lets see what it says when I put it in m
< apanek-work> ...
< jMCg> y tea.
#8259
<akumapan> yous ound like poopoo
<andy> You type like poop.
<andy> and your mother was suspicious that it took her nine whole months to take a crap, so she named it just in case.
#39011
<Shadow> 1337 translates not to leet, as many people suspect, but actually to retarded.
#56641
mjl69> 98.5% of dna is considered to be junk dna with no known purpose. maybe it's xml tags.
#11304
<IsoFlash> i dumped my girlfriend because she is fucking dumb
<AciDBatH> woah sweet
<AciDBatH> i dumped mine cuz she had a penis
#232968
<Trinexx> I had a hard drive that was rattling like hell once. Me, being stupid with hardware at the time, unscrewed it and booted the computer
<Trinexx> the drive lept out of the drive bay and bounced around in the case.
<Trinexx> Needless to say, I ended up replacing more than just the hard drive -_-
#48046
<cmullet01> i am amazed at how many weird porn sites i get when searching for 'cambridge harvard "desk fan"'
#302228
<@heels> i wanna be a hooker
<Doomstalk> heels: You're already a whore in your own way
<Cuzza> heels: you're already a whore
<Cuzza> ^5 Doomstalk
<Doomstalk> ^5 Cuzza
<Cuzza> ...
<Cuzza> GET OUT OF MY HEAD
<Doomstalk> GET OUT OF MY HEAD CHARLES
<Cuzza> WHAT THE FUCK MAN
#3026
<kisama> you know what's hilarious
<kisama> leaving your fly unbuttoned
<kisama> then walking around all furtive
<DooD> ...
<kisama> hhahaha
<kisama> i did that today
<kisama> you'd think ppl would notice
<kisama> but i was in art all day
<kisama> with my zipper down
<kisama> and a long shirt
<DooD> they'd have to look at your wang area =P
<kisama> are they afraid of sensory overload or what?
#28940
<Jay> the only annoying thing about Perl is there's always at least 10 ways to do the same thing =)
<Ashley> and half of those make absolutely no sense when you come back to the code 30 minutes later
#14973
<Nija> hahaha i met some girl off the internet once too
<Nija> boy, was she pissed
#269
n e r d b 5: i smell a burning smell
n e r d b 5: maybe its my pc
n e r d b 5: oh wait, ewww, its the cat pooping
#302178
<Ironholds> "Lady Almeria Braddock felt insulted by Mrs Elphinstone and challenged her to a duel in London's Hyde Park after their genteel conversation turned to the subject of Lady Almeria's true age. The ladies first exchanged pistol shots in which Lady Almeria's hat was damaged. They then continued with swords until Mrs. Elphinstone received a wound to her arm and agreed to write Lady Almeria an apology."
<Dragonfly6-7> "Please excuse the handwriting, as my arm was mutilated when some cow slashed at it with a sword."
#424
<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window.
#61349
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...
Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
#36319
<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work
<MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0.
#300665
<Curtain> Oh man, Tiger Woods got in a car accident, apparently.
<Rimiru> That's not good D:
<Rimiru> oh oh wait wait
<Rimiru> Curtain, after hearing that, you might deduce...
* Rimiru shades
<Rimiru> That he wasn't a very good driver.
<Rimiru> YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH
<Kevin> rofl
<Curtain> I'm not talking to you anymore.
#29301
<Dilbert|AFK> my homopage is www.fark.com
<Dilbert|AFK> ...
<Dilbert|AFK> and thats my homepage too
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#297004
John: i need something perverted to say to my gf
John: i'm just not perverted and dont know anything about that stuff
Ethan: say "I want you inside of me."
John: okay
#75584
xTedHeadx: My family must be like the worst Jews in history.
xTedHeadx: We celebrated Hanukkah by going out for lobster.
#16536
<MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with a credit card out on the town. You can do anything.
#303788
< the_wench2> Aikar: I removed --spider, but now I get files :(
< d3x> the_wench2, did you mean flies?
#299603
<cxreg> i'm going to go in to work tomorrow, and tell them that i'm going to fix bugs homeopathically
<cxreg> by inserting a syntax error once every 700 billion lines of code
#20502
<Riku> One time, there was an American, an Irishmen (I think), and a Polish guy who just robbed a bank and were hiding out in a barn.
<Riku> But then they heard the cops come, so the american hid behind a cow, the irish guy hid behind a pig, and the polish guy hid behind a sack of potatoes
<Riku> So when the cops came in, they shined the flashlight on the cow
<Riku> so the american guy went "moooo"
<Riku> then they shined it on the pig, and the irish guy when "oink oink"
<Riku> Then, they shined it on the sack of potatoes
<Riku> And the polish guy went, "Potato"
#5508
<[ric]> fucking dicks
<[ric]> we have a huge flat screen LCD display in out presentation room
<[ric]> it's worth about £10,000
<[ric]> and now it has "It is safe to switch off your computer" burn into the screen
<roded> hehe
<nakkew> LOL
<Object> hehe
<nakkew> thank god it wasnt a pr0n site burnt into the screen
<nakkew> wouldnt look good for customers