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#9336
<Undertow-TOoL> You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is
#228
<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard
#304456
< Thaff> my trimmer says "Household use ONLY" on it
< Thaff> does that mean it is illegal to shave farm animals
< draco> not if theyre in your house
< Thaff> touche sir
#29539
<+{R3D}Hurricane> Fly Delta. Cause everyone else is bankrupt.
#34801
<asshat> heres my impression of jacky chan
<asshat> -__-
<asshat> heres my impression of someone with big eyes
<asshat> 0_0
<asshat> heres my impression of an emoticon with deep mommy issues
<asshat> :-|
<ocean2> here's my impression of you if you keep doing this
<ocean2> x_x
<asshat> *_*
#27597
<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.
#55507
<S> fnuh?
<S> a fly just flew into my monitor
<S> then instantly collapsed on my desk
<Markus> hehe
<Markus> maybe it has no depth perception and thought your background was real
<S> except you can't see my background for the masses of windows open
<S> besides that, it's just plain dark cyan
<Markus> could make a joke about flies flying into windows but that's too corny
#172
[@kode54] /quote:96 <smcn> uNF = universal noise of fucking
[@kode54] one of my few smcn quotes (I need more!)
[@smcn] ok i will say something funny
[@smcn] i'm having trouble breathing
[@smcn] and my dick is on fire
[@smcn] is this normal?
#44921
<tinou> i need find a root pass over ssh protocol
<tinou> to get access on my school network
<@Phlip> There's a couple of ways to get the root pass
<@Phlip> (1) Have someone who knows it tell it to you
<@Phlip> Ok, I lied, there's only one way
Comment: # on FreeNode
#31827
<niteshade> awww this is shit.
<niteshade> my router's stuck in a routing loop
<Sendai> power cycle
<niteshade> i mean at UPS
<Sendai> Your router runs UPS?
<niteshade> no I mean I ordered it and it's come through oregon, into seattle, back to oregon and into seattle again. I just checked and it's back in oregon. UPS is looping!
<Sendai> lol
<beer> lol. that doesn't bode well
<niteshade> no shit. I ordered it to replace a crappy dlink that kept fucking with my network
<beer> dlink r good
<niteshade> nup this one was going into routing loops
<niteshade> am I in the twilight zone?
#4305
<D\TOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr?
<D\TOX> I'm in the wrong line of work...
<Xyrem> D\TOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen
<Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle
<D\TOX> and in your pocket
<D\TOX> and in your mouth
<D\TOX> and in people's drinks
#305699
<Erik> Alright.
<Erik> I'm writing a script that checks my instant messenger logs every couple entries.
<Erik> And if the ratio of Youtube links to actual messages exceeds 20%, it tells me I can't be friends with that person anymore.
#49808
rej3cter13: To all those applying to college, PLEASE do not write ANYTHING like the following in your college essay! As fun as they are to read...
rej3cter13: "The boat glided across the lake as gracefully and smoothly as a bowling ball wouldn't."
rej3cter13: "...and he realized he loved her. Every time he heard her voice he thought he heard bells, like the sound of a dump truck backing up."
rej3cter13: "She was as tall as a 6 foot 3 inch tree."
rej3cter13: I believe I made my point.
#7292
<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away :)
#8924
<un2> should i just settle for a bmw?
<Gen`Aku> settle settle?!?!?1
<Gen`Aku> don't use the word settle and bmw in the same sentance
<Gen`Aku> unless it's about the dust settling
<Gen`Aku> BITCH
#4631
<ic0n0> i love the midwest
<NecroMort> ilke gurls with big fat titties.
<ic0n0> what does that have to do with the midwest?
<polar> you have something against titties?
#304893
<Grif> guys since when did Hello Kitty have a boyfriend
<Unknonymous> Grif, since when do straight men pay attention to Hello Kitty.
<Dritz> Unknonymous: since it's on a cute girl's underwear, is when
#131223
<pvck> on most websites, "happy serfing!" would be an amusing typo
<pvck> but when the site is obviously russian, it takes on a whole new meaning
#6357
<UrMomsUnt> U cant ban me .. I'm telnet irc
<paisley> Alrighty.
#57593
<Steck> Oft, your not welcome here
<Oft> bullshit
<Oft> they all want me here
<Carcer> Steck, you have no right to say whether or not he's welcome here
<Steck> Really?
<Steck> Why not?
<Carcer> Because this isn't your channel, you douchebag?
<Steck> How about, this is my IRC network
Steck is ~Steck@netadmin.neverwinterconnections.com * Steck
<Carcer> Yeah.
<Carcer> That would be a good reason for him not to be welcome here.
<Oft> I could take you with one hand
<Steck> Still want to argue Carcer?
<Carcer> Ugh, I need to start reading hostmasks.
#11839
<cyxxwirc> Soui's ass is able to compile C
<cyxxwirc> that is pretty godly
<rogueWRC> not when he core dumps
#28492
* Sharkey changes topic to 'PORN HERE'
* Sharkey sets mode: -s
<Roger> ...this won't end good.
#28301
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!"
#35977
<pasi> do people there usually eat the college/uni or at home?
<FJ> i don't usually try to eat my college.
<FJ> its a huge building, i expect it'd damage my teeth, too
#41472
<nightjade> I actually had a constant 6.66KBPS download once. It never changed, I was scared shitless.