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#297796
<Xerol|Work> customer wants to buy an "external processor"
<Xerol|Work> i want to buy a "gun"
<Xerol|Work> and "shoot myself"
<Warchamp7> You don't carry external processors?
<Xerol|Work> not ones that go in the "USA Port"
#6849
<cmw> ok how about this one
<cmw> Dear Natalie,
<cmw> How's it going studying at Harvard? I bet it's hard. I am sorry my sweet but sometimes life is hard. I love you. You are so beautiful and smart my darling. God made you so perfect. Will you marry me? We could be so happy together, forever. We have so much in common, you are in Star Wars and I like Star Wars. Can't you see we were made for each other.
<cmw> Yours Always,
<cmw> Cody Crenshaw
<ShadowFang11> yea, thats good
#30301
<Neon[UK]> this machine was built to be kept on
<kickthepc> to install 98 you need to reboot several times
<Neon[UK]> :|
<Neon[UK]> maybe if i reboot REALLY FAST
#16012
-Stevie-O- from what I hear, the average WebTV user makes it look like the average AOLer belongs in MIT
#45542
<DarkArchon> You might be spending too much time on the internet when you find & play the shockwave games on the trojan condom website...
Comment: irc.archspace.org #archspace 6666
#46060
(+lab-rat) 22. What is the largest native carnivore in England?
(+lab-rat) Here's your 1st hint, the last character in the answer is: r
(+lab-rat) Here's your 2nd hint, badge_
(+sodiepop) badger
(mac23) badger
(alexC) badger
(+StiGs) badger
(TIMMY_) badger
(+Turbo) mushroom mushroom
(+lab-rat) Winner: Trainee alexC Answer: badger Time: 23.422 Streak: 1 Points: 5 WPM: 3 Rank: 37th
Comment: Gotta love trivia!
#14
<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS
#21265
<Jotarou> Man I masturbate in the shower so much, I'm surprised a baby hasn't crawled out of the bathdrain
#4276
<R0SC0E> i think [shaolin soccer] was about to be released same weekend as Resident Evil
<R0SC0E> but they pushed it back to not be in competition
<mightyflo> zombie soccer!
<mightyflo> you could put the shaolin soccer guys up against a bunch of zombies
<mightyflo> they could do like bullet kicks and blow their heads off and stuff
<nitrifik_> no, zombies against zombies
<nitrifik_> slowest soccer game ever
#13476
<[cr0wz]> my dildo hurts
<_SuPeR_Fly_> my arse hurts
<wisteria101> see a doc
<[cr0wz]> i wonder why
* FadeJade sees a connection
#300671
<DCoder> cute
<DCoder> my Amazon.co.uk recommendations consist of C++, Hacking, and Malware Forensics books
<DCoder> ...
<DCoder> and a Zapf Creations Barbie
<DCoder> wtf
#28300
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"
#30864
<FireEgl> *I* have guacamole flavored Doritos.
<FireEgl> They always make my poop green. =)
<FireEgl> I'm like my own Playdough Funfactory.. I get to pick what colors come out! =D
#33174
<HongXianShi> Is it a boy skeleton or a girl skeleton? :)
<Antimatter> how the hell can you tell?
<HongXianShi> Subtle differences in skull shape
<HongXianShi> And pelvic bones
<Kurt> you aren't a doctor, so you have no clue
<expohirma> hong: you're relying on the fact that it is a human
<expohirma> or that all humanoids follow roughly human anatomical structure
<HongXianShi> Most do, hence being called humanoids ;)
<expohirma> not necessarily bone structure
<expohirma> just shape.
<Kurt> halflings have an exoskeleton
<Kurt> that looks like skin
<Kurt> and a caramel centre
#266051
<PandaFister> pedo = feet or love of the ground
<OliveTower> America spells it pedophile
<@PandaFister> because their FUCKING STOOPID
<@PandaFister> do I have to go through the whole pedo/paedo explination
<@PandaFister> e.g. a pedometer counts how many footsteps you've made
<@PandaFister> and a paedometer counts how many children you've fucked
#37978
<Nam-Ereh-Won> <NEW-Fox_McCloud> I'm from a universe that parallels yours
<Liquid> A universe without periods.
<Liquid> PARADISE!
<|Cyrus|> For women...
#13481
<Floidy6k> everybody in america has an anal probe up the ass
<Mack_Salmon> not true!
<Mack_Salmon> I had mine removed!
#17115
<felix> we're gonna start a band called "rsync", right?
<felix> OH BABY YOUR FILES ARE CHANGING BUT NO
MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T KEEP UP, SO I'M REARRANGING AND
TRYING CVSUP, BUT IT'S JUST NO GOOD. SO I SIT DOWN AND THINK....
THEN YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME AND GIVE ME RSYNC
#147203
<Giichi> so I saw a jeep for sale with the decal in the front, Christian Offroad Association
<DragonJoeCool> what doesn't Jesus do?
<Giichi> gays
<DragonJoeCool> true enough
#31557
<CanOfSpam> I spent my lunchbreak at work stealing my neighbor's wife, kicking his ass, and getting her pregnant.
<CanOfSpam> The Sims is the way to be!
<CanOfSpam> Im gonna nap for 2 hours and think about whether to show up at work.
<CanOfSpam> bbl
<emil^> cos - have fun!
<Glock21> You'll be sitting at your computer after days of insomnia... you're work habits will go to hell, your personal relationships will suffer, you'll go broke... and as you're sitting there in the middle of the night with a full bladder you suddenly realize that your sim has with a great deal of your own personal effort...
<Glock21> ...has a great job, a great house full of great stuff, a great girlfriend, plenty of sleep, a better computer than you, and is happier, healthier, and made it to the bathroom just fine because you suffer for him.
Comment: EFNet #politics
#269
n e r d b 5: i smell a burning smell
n e r d b 5: maybe its my pc
n e r d b 5: oh wait, ewww, its the cat pooping
#311421
<CaptainJistuce> I am still waging a linguistic battle against that use of the term fixed. Surely an animal works as intended before the procedure, which renders a major subsystem inoperational. They are broken afterwards.
#103486
<Kcaj> Coworker goes "It semms like weed up here". I was like... "Maybe it is my cologne, here check this shit out, smell me", and they come over, I hold out my shirt, they take a huge whiff and go "Yeah, it is definitely your cologone".
<Kcaj> semms = smells
<Kcaj> sorry I'm high lol
#3318
<@Epyon[UOPG]> Giren's Greed is being remade on PS2
* @Epyon[UOPG] faints
*** Joins: Buster
<Nomadic_Dragon> What was it for originally?
<Buster> self-arousal
<Buster> im pretty sure.
#151396
<Garrett> I was speaking with a student the other day, he was all like, "One thing I like about being a student? I get a week vacation man! I'm sitting at home, playing video games, watching porn, sleeping in, while you, you my friend, you gotta go to work."
<Garrett> and I said, "sure. But while you're watching porn, playing games, and so on, I'm making $600."