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#20395
<@PHiZ> "If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family."
<@Riyan|Work> "one eyed mutant children welcome here"
#57074
<hello> my dad was at the mayo clinic and they did some test where they had to put a tube down his throat and they cut him and he started to bleed internally and almost died
<hello> worst clinic ever
<egg> that's why you don't let condiments perform surgery.
#9347
[02:18:04] s7ank: i want to be one of those guys that types
"s/j&jd//.^$ueu*///djsls/sm."
and it's a perl script that turns dog crap into gold.
#56737
dansSUCHaniceguy: Dude, you ever do something and you just know it's wrong?
dansSUCHaniceguy: The whole time you're telling yourself, This is WRONG
dansSUCHaniceguy: Just going through with it, doubt and guilt eating away at you but you do it anyway
gravybythepint: dammit did you fuck kyle's girlfriend
dansSUCHaniceguy: Get your mind out of the gutter
dansSUCHaniceguy: I drank the last of the orange juice
#5303
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"
#15450
<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit
#8241
<Spellweav> how much of your time to you spend hoing?
<Freaksh0> you mean fucking or pimping other chicks ?
<Spellweav> no..chicks in general
<Spellweav> how much in vitro time for your experimental probe
<Spellweav> on the whole
#10475
*** hep transubstantiated into SUPERMEGAHYPERKITTEN
*** SUPERMEGAHYPERKITTEN transubstantiated into SUPERMEGAPANTSLESSKITTEN
*** Starscream (eric@dis.gruntle.org) has joined channel #insub
<Starscream> hi.
<Starscream> i came in because hep has no pants.
#27250
<ircleuser> Get a FREE! TV for just 99.99 dollars 8& 4GTA: VICE CITY 8& 4THE HULK
<oollee> How is $99 dollars free?
#14750
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your friends that you're dead
#2694
(drmatitis) ya, i've graduated from the rockstar mullet to the NASCAR mullet
#308884
<ss23> my nose is getting really sore, I think its from eating really spicy stuff with a cold
<ShaggyTwoDope> random rule of life
<ShaggyTwoDope> better your nose then your butt
<cksdayoff> Shaggy, did u learn that rule in prison
#13588
<ChanPerv> #rpgfan-teensex000!!! is a restricted channel and may not be viewed by minors or residents of Alaska. If you are over 18, please type /msg ChanPerv <your credit-card number>
#13655
<MrCoulomb> ok, i'm taking out the 3 of spades, and reinsert it into a random point
<MrCoulomb> and i assure you, it is random
<MrCoulomb> I'm now shuffling the cards
<MrCoulomb> and it's a real shuffle too
<MrCoulomb> Now.. I cut the deck.
<MrCoulomb> and there is your card
<MrCoulomb> the 3 of spades
<MrCoulomb> found instantly within a randomly shuffled deck
<Mort-Hog> How did you do that?..
#29318
<Odat> I remember that time I told the hair chick to cut about an inch off the back
<Odat> but what she heard was "cut all my hair as short as you possibly can"
<Odat> bad acoustics, I guess
<NakedKitty> wow.... yeah... that seems to happen a lot
<NakedKitty> or... her inch was a lot bigger than yours
<Odat> impossible
<Odat> men have the largest notion of an inch
#34579
<joe> http://joe.neoturbine.net:8000/packages < an incomplete log of everything i hav compiled and installed over the yrs
<DimaV> ^ ---- proof that u need to get out to RL more often
#28926
<noxic> jon is a power house
<clay> of weakness
#1082
<MadHatter> I'm getting pretty sick of black and white
<MadHatter> there's just too much to manage
<MadHatter> it's probably a really good game for people who don't already have jobs
<blazemore> maybe i should play then
#79646
(Volte) people in japan want to look like americans
(Volte) nerds in america want to look japanese
(Volte) they should just switch places and they would be all set
(Nudger) japanese people really really like foreigners
(Nudger) they just hate the idea of foreigners being anywhere near them
(Nudger) im going to set up a zoo
(Nudger) nerds can come and watch anime for free and japanese people can interact with them from a safe distanc
#463
"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly,
flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to
intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."
The Chicago Times review of After Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.
#36221
<_Dim_> w0000t, just got an email with a picture taken by a mobilephone
<_Dim_> the fun part is, it's an image of the test im getting tomorrow :D
#4643
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSSS; got it working
<Const> Your penis?
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSS!
#32391
(+Gothic_CatGirl) Ewwy I have to do to the doctor today
#29949
<kare> The next Microsoft OS will have a new anti piracy feature: it will come in an arcade cabinet, you need to insert coins to boot it or start a program
#296053
<Takuja> how to get field from some row of sql qury?
<Takuja> if query got 10 row, how to get fiels from row[3] exampl
<MaximusBrood> You must invert the polarity first.
<Takuja> mi eanglish is bad. whai is polarity?
<MaximusBrood> It must be inverted.
<Takuja> whith nexrow() ?
<MaximusBrood> No, I'm just fucking around with you.
<Takuja> fucking - this is a function ?