Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#8472
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"
#70439
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES!
#11395
<dine-sa> no it won't MoP, amusment park jobs actually suck
<dine-sa> I had a friend who worked at six flags all summer.
<SA-MoP> dine had a friend! *dies* :D
<SA-Metathrom> Hehe
<dine-sa> :P it was before I had a modem
<SA-MoP> lol ok
#8289
<Vegeta> I would go through anything for you
<Vegeta> Lets start with your bank account
#61349
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...
Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
#4140
<uneasier> [ric], a student has to make money.. the pay was good and it wasnt nearly as degrading as you would think
<[ric]> uneasier: I realise, but think how the chickens felt?
<uneasier> they were heavily drugged
<[ric]> I am sure there is some bad joke in this about chickens eating seed, but let's just leave it at that
#31301
<+Biggs`> eek
<+Biggs`> according to kWeather, it's raining
* +Biggs` looks outside
<+Biggs`> IT DOES NOT LIE!!
#37489
<+swedegeek> MrDelayer, how come discussion always moves to centering around mail anatomy when you're around?
<MrDelayer> mail anatomy?
<MrDelayer> like
<MrDelayer> postal workers
<MrDelayer> "Hey baby, nice package"
#37004
<t-f-i> that's my pic..
<T|gz> damn your skinny
<t-f-i> yeah, i call it the IRC diet, eat snack food all day, never eating a big meal, and masturbate... a lot...
#987
<|Chris> i want the nVidia's Secret catalog
<|Chris> with pictures of rendered games
#34159
<Rjx> so I'm sitting with some friends in college
<Rjx> and drinking some soup
<Rjx> and I say "hey, this soup is thicker than a norwegian"
<Rjx> and I look up
<Rjx> and there's this girl glaring at me
<Rjx> and I think "wait a minute"
<Rjx> so I say
<Rjx> "er du norsk?"
<Rjx> her: ja
<Rjx> oops....
#29231
(ally^): thats if you dont mind dancing with a preg chick
(@ascian): they weeble and they wobble but they don't fall down.
#59329
<psychup2034> i was watching judge judy two weeks ago
<psychup2034> fucking dad and daughter when to court
<psychup2034> because of a broken headlight on a car
<psychup2034> the dad blamed the daughter
<psychup2034> but the daughter said she thinks someone came with something and knocked the headlights in
<psychup2034> judge judy was like do you have any proof
<psychup2034> and the daughter said "we live in a black neighborhood"
<psychup2034> never laughed so hard at court tv
#10339
<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on their shelves.
<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the actual testicles.
#20078
<Silversong> Anybody ever wonder what would happen if we were suddenly flung into a weird dimension and we were all physically in a room together?
<Brentai> I'd have to pull my pants up real quick, most likely.
#31859
«TrueBlue» Talking to your sister or another female relative of the same intelligence would result in both of you staring at a box of Orange Juice because it said "Concentrate".
#3105
<NinjaRyu> I remember in sex ed in the 10th grade someone actually asked whether the "pull-out" method was effective birth control
#36485
<everwicked> i can imagine the scene
<everwicked> let the goatse man be named Bob and his wife Alice
<everwicked> Bob: Alice, what are we doing tonight? do you feel like going out?
<everwicked> Alice: I am kind of tired you know, why dont we just chill over here tonight
<everwicked> Alice: maybe just take a few pictures and stuff
<everwicked> Bob: or I could put a baseball up my ass
<everwicked> Alice: that sounds lovely, let's do that.
<everwicked> Bob: OK
<everwicked> i dont want to imagine whats would come next
<everwicked> you may see the story's (happy) ending at goat.cx
#215584
<blu> so today i went outside because we had new stairs and etc, long story
<blu> so i go outside theres this girl on the street
<blu> so i go see her and tell her "i got molested by a mango when i was young what should i do"
<blu> SO NOW SHE PULLS A BRICK OUT OF HER PURSE
<blu> i start running
<blu> SHE FUCKING THREW IT AT ME
<blu> and now she just saw where i live
<@MokN> good luck with that
<blu> ok so i just went to give her the brick
<blu> she went
<blu> "WHAT THE FUCK ITS YOU AGAIN"
<blu> i said "hi here's your brick"
#18965
<Pseudonym> I love how all through GTA3 there's an anti-drug theme
<Pseudonym> You spend half or more of your missions stopping people from pushing SPANK
#18916
<ungod> stormo was talking about sex leigh :(
<lsd> ewww
<lsd> wrong!
-:- SignOff ungod: #lgl (error)
<Fryboy> see how wrong it was!
<Fryboy> it made ungod quit!
<lsd> error: wrongness overflow
#243326
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse
#36303
<`Riku> my god
<`Riku> someone actually has a licence plate in Finland that says "GOA-753"
#22291
<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE than weed
#477
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein