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#61832
<hohum> so I've been working on this now for the last several hours
<hohum> all because of stupidity
<hohum> this is going to be so rewarding when I'm done
<hohum> and by rewarding, I mean anticlimatic :(
#881
<|scar> Girlfriend pregnant error, [A]bort, [M]arry, [I]gnore ?
#5740
<evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...
<Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?
<evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality
<evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
<evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."
<evenpar123> It was horrible...
<evenpar123> ugh
#155550
<TEHd> walkin home last night from the bars, reasonably wasted, stumbling everywhere, etc.
<TEHd> cop pulls up alongside me and charlie
<TEHd> says "You boys been drinking tonight?" in a pissed off, you're getting a ticket voice
<TEHd> charlie stares directly in his eyes, waves his hand in front of him and says "these are not the drunks you are looking for, move along"
<TEHd> cop laughs his ass off and drives away
#3937
<Nall> type /nick newname to fix your name
*** amit is now known as newname
#8260
<JBB> I'm looking for a laptop that I can just use on the net. Something below $300.
<BondOO7> You'd have better luck shoving your cock into a telephone jack for the internet.
#3369
<C00k0> I used to think ircops were cybercops that would run around like leet hackers in movies and storm your house if you did something bad
<hex86> and were you sad when you found out they actually do very little?
<C00k0> I was quite happy ^_^
#1758
<< Now chatting in #finalfight
>>Quit! imaginari " Leaving "
>>Quit! MightyQuinn " Ping timeout "
>>Quit! Thom " Ping timeout "
[Nyphur] ARGH! I'm killing people by being here!
#345
(@X2-down) this is mark eg, he hugged me and creamed in my ear
(@X2-down) er screamed
#37256
<pushead> nothing freaks out the girlfriend like graphic threats of sexual torture and murder
<painiac> does she read them, too?
<pushead> she read the latest one
<painiac> hahahaha
<painiac> that makes it all worthwhile
<painiac> what did she say?
<pushead> 'babe, some guy here says he'll kill you and rape your corpse' 'is it painiac?' 'yes' 'then it's funny. laugh with me' 'your friends are stupid and crazy'
#36307
<Popeye> my brother was talking to one of his friends
<Popeye> and he told them I used linux
<Popeye> and the guy asked if linux was a club drug
#1906
(|Chris) CNN (Las Vegas, NV) New York has NOT been bombed. David Copperfield has come forward and stated that, "It was all just mirrors. I'm sorry that it got out of hand. This was just a publicity stunt that went horribly wrong."
#18827
<FrostyGunna> i took a 0 second dump
<Fozzie|TeamUSA> me too
<Fozzie|TeamUSA> one time i had to poo real bad, sat down, and sneezed
<Fozzie|TeamUSA> and it just like... rocketed out.
<Fozzie|TeamUSA> like fast like speed
<FrostyGunna> i got splash back
<Fozzie|TeamUSA> dude, it was like orbital reentry
<Fozzie|TeamUSA> you have nothing on me
#197639
<Flibberdy> what are the requirements in the US for a place to be classed as a city?
<Kefga_X> crime
<nsh> organised prositution
<NQM> They use the Giger scale.
#104883
<Ashrael> My MP3 of MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This' has been locked out by the RIAA Piracy Blocker Thing.
<Ashrael> The sense of irony is unbearable.
#45946
<sharpi> i got attacked by a group of seagulls on the ferry home today :(
<Bill> ha what happened
<sharpi> i was out on the deck and i noticed these kids were feeding french fries to the seagulls and thought that i'd give it a try
<sharpi> so i go buy some fries and i go out and start feeding them
<sharpi> having a good time until the seagulls that didn't get any got mad or something and started trying to swoop in for my fries so i cover them up and the next thing i know i'm getting shit on by them
<sharpi> it's hard to explain to your wife just how you could manage to come home covered in shit
#25124
<maddox> You know what I hate? Programs that pretend like they're sentient beings. Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type "bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let you do that." Yeah? Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.
#48657
<elrond2> 24 hour fitness is open 24 hours a day
<emitmai> at 3am they have a sign that says 'run around the block'
<emitmai> behind their closed gates
#42142
<Jet_Solo> Did I miss anything interesting?
<Asiina> God was in here
<Asiina> everyone in here got a "get into heaven free" card
<Asiina> he told us that everyone else was screwed
<Asiina> then he left
<Asiina> it was pretty sweet
#120835
<smxsy> 'i have forwarded this to the management team' = 'i have already deleted your email whilst wiping the tears of sadistic laughter from my eyes. thank you for contacting comcast customer support'
#53347
Phaze: When I was signing the paper for my driving permit
Phaze: I couldn't remember whether " or ' was feet
Phaze: So uh
Phaze: I'm 6 inches tall now
Phaze: :(
#5786
<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret passage
#14
<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS
#28417
<Overmynd> Man i wish i had get access to my gf's hotmail so i could read her sissy e-mails
<Zergy> Heh, yeah.
<Dipsy> Huh?, what's the adress..ill hack it for you.
<Zergy> lol, should i or you ban the newb?
<Overmynd> No wait lets see what he got;), heres the adress: sarahgurl_85@hotmail.com
<Dipsy> Ok ill private msg you the password, one second
<Zeargy> haha, this is pathetic
<Dipsy> There you go
<Overmynd> k, lets see...
<Overmynd> omfg!, its working.
<Dipsy> Now are you gonna read the "sissy" mails or be a good boy and respect your gf? >:)
<Overmynd> ?, oh shit...
<Overmynd> Hi sarah T_T..
<Zergy> rofl
#7972
<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?! it'll take you all day to download that bagel!