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#159049
<Jeremy> I remember the first time one of my friends got stoned....it was fucking great. he thought he wasn't feeling it, and we were playing tekken tag. He's sitting there cussing because his remote's not working, then we look over and his right hand isn't on the controller, it's in the bag of popcorn.
<Jeremy> He was twitching his hand IN THE BAG like he was trying to hit buttons
<pariah> LMFAO.
<pariah> That is awesome.
<Jeremy> He ended up winning the match because I fell out of my chair laughing at him and couldn't stop

#74537
(@STARSBarry) tbh i saw funniest thing ever
(@STARSBarry) there was a black dude as santa in fenicks
(@STARSBarry) and the kid was
(@STARSBarry) "your not the real santa your black"
(@Steepmas) poor Santa :(
(@STARSBarry) and he said "i am?"
(@STARSBarry) he said it was off the soot in the chimneys
Comment: Best Santa Excuse ever ! in Newcastle

#2467
<FaceDown8> if i wanted any lip from you i'd undo my zipper

#40712
[GTF] I don't know what's worse; that I dreamed about putting my ex-girlfriend in a woodchipper, or that I woke up with an erection.

#926
(|Chris) i've blown enough snot out of my nose today to make a fucking bukkake film

#141669
(@Gunrun) Pringles are clever
(@Gunrun) they're like... self regulating
(@Gunrun) if you can't fit your hand into the tube to get more
(@Gunrun) then you probably shouldn't be getting more anyway

#139721
<justin> shipped mah package
<justin> if you know what I mean
<jake> Shipping must have been cheap
<jake> if you know what I mean

#301489
<Anoria> but the replacement parts are coming out of a $3 camera from ebay, so maybe something weird happened to this particular screen. there were no polarizers in either of the parts cameras.
<Bunsen> Man, this is why we need mantis shrimp vision.
<Anoria> I'm simply dying to know what you mean by that.
<Bunsen> Mantis shrimp have freakishly detailed perception of light.
<Bunsen> Like several more pigments than us, plus sensitivity to horizontal, vertical, and circular polarization.
<Anoria> yikes.
<peer> what does a shrimp need with that kind of vision?
<Bunsen> Hell if I know.  Ask one.
<Anoria> I know there are beetles whose carapaces circularly polarize light, but I somehow doubt they share habitat
* Anoria reassembles the camera with both polarizers in place so they don't get lost in case someone eventually figures out what to do with them
<Anoria> or not polarizers. gratings. whatever.
<Bunsen> Oh my, I had forgotten that mantis shrimp are also capable of snapping their claws hard enough to cause cavitation and sonoluminescence.
<Anoria> wtf they're physics shrimp
<Bunsen> Exactly.
<Bunsen> Put 'em in heavy water, and I'm pretty sure they'll discover fusion.
<c0nsumer> why have you not done this yet?
<Bunsen> Because I, for one, do *not* welcome our new fusion-powered optics-researching crustacean overlords.
Comment: I'm going to start a band called Physics Shrimp.

#10972
Lara: I wonder if something scary will happen if I rotate my Everglide 180 degrees
*** Joins: Twitch (none@12-218-101-151.client.mchsi.com)
Lara: |\O_o/|
* Lara rotates it back

#294792
Xarian: My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...

#9172
<coldacid> someone poured cleaner into the toilet bowl
<coldacid> now when i piss
<coldacid> i get the smell of cleaner instead of urine
<nover> damn that has to suck
<coldacid> and the normal pee-bubbles look like cleaner bubbles
<keerus> things must be rough for ou coldacid
<coldacid> yes
<coldacid> next thing you know, i'll be bathed and wearing fresh clothing

#288
<enex> MadHatter: eat shit!
<MadHatter> what
<MadHatter> fuck you
<enex> oh
<enex> hi
<MadHatter> yeah hey
<enex> what's up
<MadHatter> nothing man

#28804
<danamania> yay I fixed my laptops battery!
<danamania> it was so dead, nothing would charge it
<danamania> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
<gelfie> don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
<danamania> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.

#103222
<TheRothschild> I can imagine a woman going to a female prostitute. "ohh yess. Listen to me. Ohhh. Listen more! Liusten more! oooohhh. Empathize!!!!!!!!"

#8610
<Xmit> And I wont be on irc ever again
<coaxial> Why not?!
<Xmit> Because it is a waste of time
<Xmit> I am declaring that I will never waste time like this again
<coaxial> but we lub u
<Xmit> I hate you you stupid bitch

#8732
<LordBlink> i once made out with a picture of the sorceress
<LordBlink> does that make me lame?

#246896
<@ben> i've annoyed finance by putting 'sysadmin food' instead of 'Domino's Pizza' on my expenses form

#311619
<@Wilber> Activity on gimpissues: Shortcut Ovelapping <https://gitlab.gnome.org/GNOME/gimp/issues/2183>
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: GNOME: Impossible to get infos for GNOME/gimp issue 2183: 404: 404 Not found
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last minute; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last 60 seconds; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<ankh> haha
Comment: #gimp

#301275
<esteele> Anyone know what  kw['title'].setdefault('')  might do?
<optilude> esteele: crash if 'title' is not in kw?
<esteele> Well, it crashes when it is too. Unless title shouldn't be a string.
<esteele> Ah, I think it should be kw.setdefault('title','')
<davisagli> esteele: right
<esteele> Which shows how many times that method has ever been called.
<davisagli> heh. what method?
<esteele> Products.PlonePAS.plugins.group.GroupManager.updateGroup
<esteele> From 02/24/05
<esteele> Wow.
<esteele> This is what archaeology feels like, I'll bet.

#54654
<hax> my boss just told a client his domain was "taken by korean cyber pirates"
<hax> we were on speaker phone with a client
<hax> and i toally lost it
<hax> then my boss yelled at me for laughing
<hax> and i told him "listen, if you're going to tell me korean cyber pirates pillaged his domain, i'm going to laugh"
<hax> "and try not to do it while i'm drinking a coke next time"

#23106
<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you had cousins as hot as mine."

#15438
<teddyg> any1 here like fred dursts lyrics
<teddyg> i can really connect w/ him when i read/listen to his lyrics
<brakums> are you 12?

#279749
<the_silent_ech0> i wish the ravioli would respawn

#14442
<harb> I wanna sleep. Forever.
<Danelope> Yeah.
<Danelope> Where is cryogenics when you need it?
<Danelope> "Wake me up in 50 years. Everyone I know will be dead."
<harb> There's this CryoLife company here that was hiring a sysadmin.
<harb> But they didn't email me back.
<Danelope> Hahah.
<harb> I was hoping that'd be part of the benefits package...
<Danelope> <harb> I was grabbing the latest debian pkg when something hung.
<Danelope> <harb> And now all of the coolant systems are down. And the pods are starting to melt.
<Danelope> <harb> ...
<Danelope> <harb> Fux0r.
<harb> hahaha
<Danelope> * harb runs away.

#3934
<maff> I've got a riot breaking out in my pants
<D1> need some backup?
<D1> I mean...
<D1> ok, that was really gay.
<maff> I don't get down like that d1
<D1> I apologize.
<Guilty> Why dont you just join the cast of Oz and get it over with D1

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