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#311479
<CapnBeeb> cripes
<CapnBeeb> my dad is asking how to disable an adblocker
<CapnBeeb> on a fucking XP machine
<CapnBeeb> YOU DON'T
<CapnBeeb> EVER
#38517
jason: blood sister?
BarbeDarkView: half
BarbeDarkView: we have different dads
BarbeDarkView: we all do
jason: how many of yous there?
BarbeDarkView: my two older sisters share a dad
BarbeDarkView: I have my own dad
BarbeDarkView: my lil bro has his own dad
BarbeDarkView: and my lil sis has her own dad
jason: what's wrong with your mom
Comment: MSN chat
#1659
<ix> man that offer for cash perked you right up
<vermifuge> i didnt even get to the most appealing part
<vermifuge> there will be a bucket of fried chicken here for your consumption
<goatb0y> well that fucking settles it
<goatb0y> any collared greens by chance?
<vermifuge> dude there could be
#59559
<@kingrayray> i just vacuum sealed 1lb of tobacco into a brick
<@kingrayray> hahahaha
<@kingrayray> i want to kill someone with it
<@kingrayray> and then be like TOBACCO KILLS
#306002
thoriumchameleon: !seen goldfinch
Sploosh: goldfinch was last seen in #LFS-support at Fri Dec 24, 2010 [04:45] GMT saying 'guys i heard a scream from down the road but im shitting bricks what do i do'
#16365
<sacarna> i think willingly putting your child in a porno comes under the catergory of unfit parent
#60531
<froglars> How do you fellows organise your game collections?
<@Terror> alphabetically
<&Joomla> well
<&Joomla> i have categories
<&Joomla> one is 'games i am currently playing'
<&Joomla> those are located inside their respective game systems
<&Joomla> the other category is 'all my other games'
<&Joomla> those are placed haphazardly in a big pile beside my tv
#309372
<Killswitch> 1. Go to 3 random YouTube videos
<Killswitch> 2. Write "I'm pretty sure this is trance, not house."
<Killswitch> 3. Wait for a war to start.
<_tca> oh hey look another american trying to start wars for no reason
#18874
<mikerosoft666>: CILF, car i'd like to fuck.
<ciduli>: yeah , right up the muffler, hehe.
<mikerosoft666>: well i was thinkin put it in the intake so it sucks on it.
<ciduli>: ewww, you sick fuck >:-0, youve actually thought about this!!!!
#10767
<angie> yea, finally finished moving all my stuff in today.
<guyen> can't be that bad, she's pretty hot. i could tap dat azz all day
<guyen> godamn i need a picture of her so i can at least jerk off to it
<angie> isn't she in your class, just stare at her with your photographic memory.
<guyen> believe me i do, she's got an azzzzzzz
<angie> she's also right behind me.
<guyen> are you serious?
<angie> yea. she says you're pretty cute too. says you should have the balls to ask her out though.
<guyen> um, will you go out with me?
<angie> she says yes. pick her up tomm 7:30 after her evening class, she wants to see kate and leopold or whatever.
<guyen> are you kidding me? holy shit! im calling your house now
<angie> no i'm just fucking with you.
<guyen> your're a bitch you know that
<angie> i know.
#41188
<Shadda> So, Like
<Shadda> I'm watching this thing on PBS last night
<Shadda> about this guy who used to be on the bomb squad
<Shadda> Got his arms blown off from the elbow and down
<Shadda> both arms
<Shadda> and they're saying, 10 years later, a radical new procedure is possible
<Shadda> a double arm transplant
<Shadda> Then they get all serious
<Shadda> and the narator goes
<Shadda> "The only catch...the arms must come from a dead person."
<Shadda> like, wtf
<Shadda> Where else would they come from?
<rworks> I volunteer!
<Shadda> "Sorry, sir. It seems you've been taking your arms for granted. Excessive masturbation and constant ass picking. We feel that this man, who has served his country, deserves them more."
<Shadda> *Chink!*
#51643
<ryan`> god i fucking rule
<ryan`> my brother stole money from me
<ryan`> so i mixed elmers glue with a bit of water
<ryan`> then i spread some over my sisters little hand puppets
<ryan`> and threw it half way under his bed
<ryan`> now hes grounded all next week for "jacking off with her hand puppets"
#1032
(Curb) don't worry no trees were harmed in the search for my glasses, toes were stubbed and lives were lost...but all tress are fine
#295382
<Fualkner> You know, Carry on Wayward Son is one huge innuendo.
<Fualkner> "Carry on wayward son / there'll be peace when you are done"
<Fualkner> "Carry on, nothing equals the splendor"
<Fualkner> Kansas is apparently made up of chronic masturbators
<Pingly> Stop.
<Pingly> STOP.
<jabbers> You just fucking ruined that song for me.
#37924
<Dudicon> Man, I cut my throat shaving today, right on the trachea. It's felt weird all day.
<Spack> CUT DEEPER
#34668
<Rjx> now I'm off taking zoloft, I'm supposed to go for a 'colon cleansing'
<Rjx> I don't know how that works
<Rjx> but I know I don't want it
#1590
<Camo> wiz
<Camo> have you ever gotten something taken away from you by the principal in middle school?
<Wizkid`> yes, my virginity
#290508
makkusu: THE RULES OF THE INTERNET CAN EAT A BAG OF DICKS
laughlax: Ah, Jason
laughlax: yes they can.
laughlax: rule 34, remember?
#297012
ambulance: on my dryer machine the ignition knob is an oven knob for some reason
ambulance: I turn it to 'broil' to start my dryer
#308051
<@keen> mm... xml
<Ceseuron> XML? XXXML is more like it...
<@keen> cryengine uses it for most of the item definitions
<Thalagyrt> XXXML?
<Thalagyrt> get real, it's more like <initialism type="abbreviation"><initial position="0" value="X" longvalue="eXtensible"/><initial position="1" value="M" longvalue="Markup"/><initial position="2" value="L" longvalue="Language"/></initialism>
#295402
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck
#249263
<Paine> "Cuntcannon" is a fun word.
<Paine> I just invented it.
<Paine> it's a verb.
<Paine> "She cuntcannoned that pingpong ball across the room"
<fireweasel> i think a cannon implies an ignition source. it's more like a pussypult.
#80426
Zipper: wtf
Zipper: i'm too fuckin tired to be legally allowed to be awake
Zipper: i just pressed Windows+L to logoff
Zipper: and upon seeing the logon screen
Zipper: i typed my password to log back in.
Zipper: why?
Zipper: i have no fucking clue...
#295261
<numaris> you pidantic bitch santa
<SantaBJ> pedantic.
#310229
< wushin> your art is very good
< bagzie> I hate it more and more each day
< wushin> that just means you're an artist