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#37896
<TrafficCone> So I'm talking to my friend the day after I nailed his older sister in the bathroom ofthe local movie theater
<TrafficCone> and he starts going off about some time i made a total ass of my self in front of some girl i liked in high school when i was drunk
<FKNPWNED> Go on...
<TrafficCone> and there's a freaking platoon of people i don't want to hear this shit around, so i pipe up and say,
<TrafficCone> "Hey dude, your sister likes it when I slap her in the face with my Dick"
<TrafficCone> The next thing I know, I'm in the emergency room. The bastard knocked me out with a chair leg.
Comment: 0wn3d
#297398
<VyseTheQuick> i dropped my combo a lot
<VyseTheQuick> and i don't have control over OD
<RonJon1> wat
<SiftHeads> premature activation?
<VyseTheQuick> sadly yes
<SiftHeads> don't worry, it happens to everyone sooner or later.
<SiftHeads> someday you'll learn to control your activation
<pksage> You, too, can achieve Unison Bonus.
<@ApplesAtWork> I get a feeling this conversation isn't really about Rock Band
Comment: #Rockband
#15454
[Shinji] my pants are pretty disturbed too!
[Shinji] then again, you'd be pretty disturbed if you spent your life this close to my crotch.
#21421
[^Ryan^]: welcome to the real world she said to me
[Epi]: Possible second line to ^Ryan^'s poem "as she took of her pants and turned into a he"
#7693
<Phuser> fuck me.
<FadeJade> Why
<Phuser> i have no good reason
#61997
<Vagrant> hey everyone
<Vagrant> I love you all
<Dylan> d'aww
<Vagrant> We may have our differences but in the end I know that you guys are friends for life
<Inkblot> I love you too,stranger?
<Goat> That really means a lot coming from you.
<hambone> thnx Vaggie :)
<Vagrant> fuck
<Vagrant> I was typing on the wrong line
<Vagrant> I wasn't talking to you bastards
#30648
<MikeH> mike@thor:/usr/local/subway > ./configure --prefix=/root/stomach --sandwich=sweet-onion-chicken-tariyaki --length=footlong --bread=italian-herbs-and-cheese --with-onions --with-lettuce --with-pickles --with-tomatos --with-jalapeno-peppers --with-banana-peppers --with-mustard --with-mayonnaise --with-sweet-onion-sauce
<MikeH> make
<MikeH> make install
Comment: Im...sooo...hungry...
#51533
<val1s> anyone know any hassidik jewish porn websites i can redirect my old companies website to?
#58434
Xeno: So I bought a 8lbs watermelon... Cut it in half and had half of it the other night and went 'Shit I'll never eat 4 fucking pounds of watermelon ever again."
Xeno: ...well I forgot and now I'm in the same pain.
#53240
<DaFool> i just bought a chip for my car from ebay...i fucking bought like 5 things off the guy and he was supposed to send the chip but jus sent a cd
<LinuxFox> how much did it cost?
<DaFool> it was only 20 bucks with shipping but still wtf he made like 500 bucks off me already
<LinuxFox> people dont understand EBAY ...you send money for a item..and if they dont send it all ebay can do is close down their store or their account and you can leave a negative remark lol NO CONSEQUENSES!
<DaFool> well the only thing i dont get is that on the cd all it is is a video of a guy laughing holding a 20 up close :/
<DaFool> who the fuck would buy that?
<Lemmiwinks> you seriously dont see where this is going?
#1859
<C0chise> i think if you say "dogshit eating," then saying "dumb" is pretty much redundant
#1794
<Semi> What good is a car with no dildos?
#55623
<PsychoBoy> 21f with a 20% chance of snow tonight
<PsychoBoy> 30% chance tomorrow, 60% tomorrow night
<PsychoBoy> so.... snow
<PsychoBoy> and cold
<Nickface> heh, I saw 21f and I thought "who the hell is he trying to fool?"
#19958
<Kid_Vid2> I WOULD BUY NEVERWINTER NIGHTS BUT IF MY COMPUTER EVEN CATCHES SIGHT OF MORE THAN TWELVE POLYGONS IT STARTS WEEPING AND CAUSES AN ELECTRICAL SHORT WITH ITS TEARS
#42786
<ToxicNed> Went to pick up the double pack of GTA3 and GTA:VC, and some woman was going to buy GTA:SA for her 7 year old. She asks me if it's appropriate for kids, so I pointed out the M rating on it. She still appeared to not get it, so I explained that there's strong language, violence, drug trafficing, gang warfare, and sex with prostitutes in the game.
<ToxicNed> So she looks at her son and says "I don't know if I should get this for you..." but held onto it anyway. As she's walking towards the front of the store, I hear the kid say "But I won't fuck any hookers, Mom."
Comment: #offtopic
#6418
<suchness> my ear wax is pure black!?!?!?!?!
<suchness> WTF
#303649
<Camille> I love my new job
<+ericc> where d'you work?
<Camille> it's a small coffee shop. doesn't pay much, but nearly everyone there is a gamer or irc'er.
<+ericc> nice
<Camille> yeah, we got busy around 1pm and it was loud cos of people chatting
<Camille> so one of the guys there shouted out "now I know how those marines feel when I hit them with a zerg rush"
<+ericc> hahaha awesome
<Camille> the manager heard him and frowned, I thought he was gonna yell at him for talking like that in front of customers
<Camille> and he just replied "man the bunkers and bring out the siege tanks!"
#56616
<GenericLoser> I have a great commercial idea for Visa.
<GenericLoser> Have a really attractive girl stuff Visa cards down her shirt and pants.
<GenericLoser> "Visa: It's everywhere you want to be."
#34158
<Clutch> Anyone else notice that 'strap on' spelt backwards is 'no parts'?
Comment: #gaming - gaming.windfyre.net - Feel thy spiff fool
#17392
<Danelope> I'm trying to set a password, and they're telling me it's invalid.
<Danelope> Because it can be "derived from another word".
<harb> Yeah.
<harb> It's just calling to passwd, I bet.
<Danelope> They're forcing you to use randomized passwords.
<Danelope> That's fucking retarded. Especially for an FTP-only account.
<harb> Heh.
<Danelope> "Duhhh. You're creating an FTP-only account with its home limited to a single non-primary folder on the Web server! Let's give you shit about a password!"
<Danelope> "Duhhh! There's absolutely no way this information can be used to compromise the system! But we'll still harass you here!"
<homeslice> Make it "Dr3amh0stsu|<s5hit"
<Danelope> "Sorry, that password can be derived from 'dreamhostsucksshit', which is a common password."
#15753
<Xney> how goes the job search?
<Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
<Xney> oh you haven't started?
<Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
<Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
<fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business between posting
the ad and my email to them
#55385
<Andross> I just downloaded some perfectly legal software
<Andross> and they pakced it into segmented zips... containing segmented rars
Comment: #qc
#8359
<Tantalus|RO> No one can resist hot monkey sex
<Tovart> Except hot monkey females with a headache.
#37983
[steven] where were you
[Mediator] first time I played doom it gave me a 3 hour seazure
[Mediator] I've been in the hospitle
#45328
<qviri> Sorry, I guess I'm not 1335 enough.