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#7086
<JanetBabe> love is the answer
<Weather> What was the question?
<DulRiff> what is 6 times 9?
<JanetBabe> how many angels can fuck on the head of a pin?
#3326
<skmt> DigDug, if you install a beaded seat cover, the value of your car will skyrocket
<SD_Washu> nah
<SD_Washu> all you have to do
<SD_Washu> is keep a big ol brick of heroin in the trunk
#30559
<Pixistix> I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
<Pixistix> If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice
<Pixistix> Problem solved.
#16997
<Whooey> females jeans pockets are TINY
<Whooey> TTIIIIIIIIIINY
<Natasha> yes, they are
<amit> Whooey: females have a big flesh pocket to compensate
#1905
<Fustard> oh good god
<Fustard> i was just thinking of something to myself
<Fustard> and out loud i said
<Fustard> 'laugh out loud'
<Fustard> instead of actually laughing.
#57699
< plasmadis> Woman successfully smuggles gun into prison by hiding it in the one place only a woman can hide an object. Is found out after gun fires when she tries to sit down
< plasmadis> pwned
#18506
[#HLM Gamesnet]
<+seph> ever wake up with a cat on your face?
<+seph> its kinda alarming
<+seph> you just woke up, not aware of anything, and you cant see
<+seph> and your mouth is filled with cat hair
<+seph> ewww
<@Timmy> nothing like waking up to a beautiful cute pussy in your face
#36883
mistercow43: but I thought I'd tell you how insane I am
mistercow43: i find a hot dog in the fridge
mistercow43: I think
mistercow43: "ok, I'll have a cheese dog"
mistercow43: I look
mistercow43: no cheese, except parmesan
mistercow43: no hotdog buns
mistercow43: in fact
mistercow43: no bread except for pita and tortilla
mistercow43: so naturally
mistercow43: I fried an egg
mistercow43: put it on the hot dog
mistercow43: put some italian pasta sauce on it
mistercow43: and some parmesan cheese
mistercow43: and nuked it for 30 seconds
Narso310: LOL
Narso310: was it good?
mistercow43: yes
mistercow43: yes it was
#10067
<Eye_Candy> you're lucky I retain video game knowledge like Oprah retains water
#2820
[Lord-Data] hell, woudlnt mind a girlfriend
[Duckarse] ditto
[incorrect] there's always ebay
#7607
<_p> my lack of morals has absolutely nothing to do with my loins.
<_p> it just so happens that many immoral acts that are genuinely worth doing involve my dick.
#11224
<k0reany0> hey it's been long time since I've talked to you.
<Xilokumsh0t> let's meet up and have a beer sometime
<k0reany0> sure. btw how is your wife nancy doing?
<Xilokumsh0t> her name is suzy
<k0reany0> who cares!
#41103
* Flippy_D is bored. And Tired. And sexually frustrated. And hungry.
<Pokehan> Play a game. Drink some coffee. Can't help you there. Eat.
Comment: #ags on irc.quakenet.org
#4644
<Byn> What's the difference between cows and the guys on this floor?
<Byn> The cows don't jack off in our showers.
#28321
<Fat-Burrick> icq is a sentient being that wants to take over the world by pissing me off
#4449
<the_hydra> I got a hemorroid once and used Preparation H's little "anal applicator" and didn't think it was really worth it. I think they just included that as a joke.
#20052
<Pozzi> My comments will be well structured, mature and on topic at all times.
<Pozzi> Now fuck you all!
#238
[thinkmad] does anyone know a good car audio site
(McMoo) www.40plus50plus.com
[thinkmad] you fucking bastard moo
[kisama] mcmoo: i have member logins to that site
#69719
<BlackCat22> North Korea wise men discover Nuclear Fission.
<BlackCat22> What would you like to research next?
<BlackCat22> >Miniturization (85 turns)
<BlackCat22> >Refrigeration (67 turns)
<BlackCat22> >The Radio (45 turns)
<BlackCat22> >Crop Rotation (8 turns)
<BlackCat22> >Literacy (1 turn)
#2436
<erhan> how are you yourself?
<mcarp> erhan: other than being pussyless, dumb, tired, broke and addicted to nicotine....im FINE
#39441
<RadMhetoric> Bittorrent is the best thing ever.
<RedParatroopa> Is that a Pokemon?
Comment: studio64.yi.org, #tmk
#14130
* fuzzy-lumpkinz was kicked by Soul|Reaver (Soul|Reaver)
<eX|remix-> soul why u ban fuzzy?
<eX|remix-> he has a hot sister
#68626
<toor> MandaCakes: what does yom kippur taste like
<toor> is it sweet
<toor> :/
<MandaCakes> er.. yom kippur is a holiday
<MandaCakes> the holiest day of the year
<toor> no way!
<toor> i just got thru text messaging this hot jewish girl that i want to eat her yom kippur
<toor> GOSH
<toor> i always screw everything up.
<toor> >:(
#225719
scaramouche: My inhibitions are the only thing keeping me from fucking everything that walks erect.
scaramouche: ... >_<
scaramouche: I don't know how to salvage that sentence.
WildTang3nt: That is so fucking epic, I can't even make a witty remark about it.
WildTang3nt: Instead I shall stare in reverence for several moments
scaramouche: Yes, kneel before me, mortal.
WildTang3nt: I'll kneel before you... :) so I can eat you out ;)
scaramouche: I knew that was coming.
scaramouche: GAH/
scaramouche: FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GAG ME.
WildTang3nt: with... what? ;)
scaramouche: AAAAAAAH WHY CAN'T I STOP
scaramouche: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
#83969
<Karg> I had a buddy once who thought it'd be real cool to huff glue.
<Karg> He was standing like in the middle of our group and he's like "hey guys, check this shit!"
<Karg> So he gets this glue.
<Karg> On the first huff he squeezes the bottle and ends up gluing his nose shut.
<Karg> Funniest hospital visit ever.