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#29658
«@ Dilbert» the trouble with anal sex is that most men's penis's curve a little, so it cant go straight up
Comment: From #dcemu on cheatlist
#8970
* Rogue feeds CardO's ass a cracker so he'll stop talking outta it
#27192
<Cyric--> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway. I'm not about to divulge in any late night homo erotics with you bunch of lifeless retards. I bid you farewell.
<Cyric--> FUCK
<Cyric--> cat was sick on my bed
#308049
<@Rjx> you can talk a population into going to war or domestic surveillance
<@Rjx> but free healthcare and legalizing harmless plants
<@Rjx> not quite as easy
#7766
*** booger is now known as BROADCAST
* BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM ETG OPS: we all suck here tonight, so we are going to bounce chanserv a few times then disco ky-hub-1.etg.sucks.com and force a few netsplits on zaire-congo-hub-gw.etg.africa.org just because - vd whiz
#6176
<Hostile> when i woke up i found pictures of Salma Hayek, A turkish guy's
page and my flip flop in my scanner
#32531
<DimaV> http://bash.cx/?search=Gothic_CatGirl&order=quote_id&sort=asc&limit=25&approved=0
<Gothic_CatGirl> Holy crap
<Gothic_CatGirl> That's a lot
<DimaV> ur popular
<DimaV> ur like a porn star, only we get to talk to u
#8066
<ItaLiaNStaLLioN> hey i deleted internet explorer by accident and now i need a browser asap, could some1 send me it plz
#86110
<Stueh> Hehe, in Aus the legal age is 18 and no one cares, just as long as you say you're over 18 :P
<Stueh> I walked into a store when I was 14 to buy smokes, and the guy looks at me and, instead of asking how old I was, he was like "What's your birthday?" and I gave the answer I'm used to "5th Febuary, 1989." Then just thought "FUCK!"
<Stueh> He then looked me up and down and goes: "You know, if you go outside and run around the block four times, you'll be four years older "
<Stueh> So I went out for 10 minutes, came back in, he asked me my birthday, I said 1985, and he sold to me :)
<Stueh> Welcome to Australia! :)
#78379
<+commodore_dude> BalefireX
<+commodore_dude> i dunno wtf happened
<+commodore_dude> but my mom heard some thing on the radio about how the elise is gonna be highly collectable in 10-15 years
<+commodore_dude> so now she's bugging my dad to get one
<@BalefireX_> you know, commodore_dude
<@BalefireX_> it kinda sounds like your parents are pretty cool
<+commodore_dude> har
<+commodore_dude> yeah
<+commodore_dude> they're awesome
<@BalefireX_> they must be so disappoined
<+commodore_dude> :D
Comment: #gideontech
#7775
<n> the only thing that gets him away from eq is beer
<Doza> at least he hasn't totally sold out
<n> what we need is a helmet we can strap onto him... with tubes that go down his thoat... and you hook it up to the puter... and it dispenses beer every time he gets a frag
<n> then he'll play q3
#309870
<doublehappy> bomb scare at my work
<doublehappy> S U S P I C I O U S B R I E F C A S E
<doublehappy> we have to leave by the basement door now
<doublehappy> when we leave we have to go via the basement but the driveway goes right past the door where the suspicious briefcase is
<m[at]> as long as you dont taunt the briefcase you'll be fine
<doublehappy> it is an old brown briefcase with a sign saying "FREE"
#8668
<cryterion> hooker fucking is an art.
<cryterion> you have to be able to do it with one arm up
<cryterion> and shave her pubes
<cryterion> while doing your business through shaving cream.
#18532
<pure_arf> relapse you can fuck with most new tv infrared receivers
<pure_arf> with TI calculators
<pure_arf> i was just playing with one once, pressing random buttons and the TV suddenly turns on and starts flipping channels
<MonkeyT> arf are you sure you didnt confuse a ti graphing calculator with a remote control
#52938
< psysick> why do fat ppl get hired as security guards
< psysick> are they considered more attentive to television screens?
#9357
*** bad-_-girl has joined #devil
<[DeViL]Man> hi bad girl
<[DeViL]Man> just how bad are you?
<bad-_-girl> vey bad
<bad-_-girl> very bad
<[DeViL]Man> bad at spelling? or something else?
#58450
<Jamie_M> my first concussion was from a giant black guy hurling me across the room
<Jamie_M> note to you all: Dont play power rangers with giant black guys
#7369
<NaNaMagic> he is never too busy to answer our prayers
<qux> satan or god? you're confusing me now?
<NaNaMagic> he has extensions on his ears
<qux> like Mr Spock?
<NaNaMagic> yes jesus has ears for all
#28471
<darkjedi> xandy: well - to repent - go spank the monkey for a while...that should get those impure thoughts from out of your head
<XanderDaWatcher> i dont have a monkey to spank :/
<XanderDaWatcher> oh
#49724
<ihate_tuz> and where did you get this ridiculus idea that i hate you?
<_tuz> geee, i wonder.
#51244
<the_fonz> i've been dating this chick
<the_fonz> it's been my most stable relationship
<the_fonz> i thought it would last a while
<the_fonz> TURNS OUT SHE'S MY COUSIN
#32678
< ryeske> thats one thing i think lacks from bash.org actually, is that it doesnt show the server/channel
< blackbart> on bash.cx, people often stick the server/channel in the comment
< blackbart> bash.cx is better anyway, in fact, i'm officially deprecating bash.org
Comment: this didn't pass moderation at bash.org
#14638
<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?
#3061
<MadScribe> i WILL NEVER EVER live below someone again
<MadScribe> he is apparently redoing the fucking floor
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> for the last fucking hour
<MadScribe> geezus
<toNe> you sure he's not just fucking his wife?
#7259
<Jay> how do u spell nebour
<nc> neighbour
<nc> haha
<Jay> kthx
<Jay> how do u spell ritch
<nc> rich u moron
<DX> rofl
<Jay> well
<DX> u dum cunt jay
<Jay> so what if i cant spell
<Jay> i type it in spell check
<Jay> and im still so wrong it goes what the fuck no suggestions
<nc> MS never reckoned on Jay