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#41000
<Rogue> A few weeks ago my youngest came running out of the bedroom, using his underwear as a gun holdster, pulled out the gun, shot me with the little suction cup thing, then said "Gimme your money". Tell me that isn't a smart kid. It kills his victim before robbing them. Less of a struggle.
<frostyfx> wow you are a good father
Comment: #ug/irc.alternatenet.net
#306433
<Crowbar> grg: no it's not hemriaging, but it's not profitable.
<kyleman7> hemorrhaging
<grg> hemorrhoids
<spacey> just remember any word with 'rrh' in it is bad news.
<spacey> diarrhea, hemorrhaging, gonorrhea
<grg> rhinorrhagia
<grg> fancy word for nose bleed :D
<grg> Rhacophorus achantharrhena
<grg> a frog!
<spacey> frogs are bad news. Just ask the people at Jurassic Park
<grg> Collared Sparrowhawk (Accipiter cirrhocephalus)
<grg> lol... this one is the best
<grg> acephalorrhachia
<grg> "congenital absence of the head and spinal column"
<spacey> yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad news
#18506
[#HLM Gamesnet]
<+seph> ever wake up with a cat on your face?
<+seph> its kinda alarming
<+seph> you just woke up, not aware of anything, and you cant see
<+seph> and your mouth is filled with cat hair
<+seph> ewww
<@Timmy> nothing like waking up to a beautiful cute pussy in your face
#67077
<+Clariax> M_Tabak fears paper cutters
<+M_Tabak> I don't like paper cutters. I think it's their attitude. They're all about destruction and tearing things apart. That's not what I'm all about. I'm about togetherness. You know who has it right? Staplers. Staplers, man.
#3321
<Road> { private: long member; }
<Road> but for me, that would be a long long
<DAL9000> Road: you'd have to cast it to a char though.
<Road> DAL9000: Hmm, that would cause an overflow
<DAL9000> hah.
<DAL9000> no big deal, i hear you always prematurely core dump anyway
<Road> hahah, ouch
<DAL9000> I COUNTER YOUR GEEK COUNTER WITH AN EVEN GEEKIER COUNTER.
#3523
<JFalcon> sex is too much work... and the customers always complain.
#56011
<jose3030> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by eluding police during a chase.
#2082
<Brentai> Michael who?
<TonsOfFun-MasterToSmallGirls> J. Fox, Brent.
<Brentai> Oh, he's only mostly dead.
<Thom> Hutchence. An Australian rock star of little talent.
<Thom> Died having a wank.
<Brentai> Poor guy.
<Thom> Whilst hanging off've the back of a door by his tie.
<DigiGnome> His last words were "OH GOD! I'm COMING!" He never knew how right he was.
#68026
Error_404: heh, everyone in this building except me is so nice
Error_404: their wifi BSSID's are all like... "dad's computer" or "smith family" or the default names
Error_404: and then mine's FUCKYOUDONTTOUCHMYSHIT
#7392
<Dane> i picked ryk up one night when he was completely trashed
<Dane> and he was looking like spewing
<Dane> so i reminded him of my car spew rule
<Tippytoes> which is?
<Dane> "if you hurl you pay me $150 and you have to clean it up"
<KKKBitch> heh
<Dane> and he looked in his pocket
<Dane> and goes
<Dane> "I can cover that"
<Dane> "lets go get curry"
#55808
<SteelHard> how r u ?
* Gen|G^2 is now known as Gen|G^ZZZ
* Gen|G^ZZZ gives SteelHard an a,e,y and o before he goes
<SteelHard> what ?
<Gen|G^ZZZ> how can i put it nicely...
* Gen|G^ZZZ is now known as TheEnglishLanguage
<TheEnglishLanguage> OH GOD IM DYING
#32001
--> TimStarling (TimStarlin@dialup-152.50.194.203.acc02-dryb-mel.comindico.com.au) has joined #wikipedia
<TimStarling> hello
<silsor> re
<angelab> hi
<maximus_rex> hi tim
<Hephaestos> hi tim
<Jamesday> hi Tim
<FooBarBaz> hi Tim
<silsor> hi Tim
<FooBarBaz> ... now if we only had a punchline, this could be worthy of bash. :)
<silsor> ________
<silsor> < Hi Tim >
<silsor> --------
<silsor> \ ^__^
<silsor> \ (oo)\_______
<silsor> (__)\ )\/\
<silsor> ||----w |
<silsor> || ||
#7675
<@WoNkS> omg it came up already
<@motardo> your wang?
#6923
<piman> Lindz: Does Ricky Martin scare you too?
<piman> Based on the way he dances, I think he's Steve Ballmer's long lost twin...
#49596
<Erika> fuckdammit
<shminux> hi to you too, Erika
<Erika> Hi shminux.
* Erika stabs things.
<shminux> 'sup?
<Erika> Oh, just a torrent I really wanted just died on me.
<shminux> ah... could be worse
<Erika> True.
<shminux> hmm, that being huggles, I could have said something more comforting
<cmantito> damn right
<shminux> well, say something... she is crying her eyes out here, cmantito
<cmantito> the torrent is in a better place#
<cmantito> it's in binary heaven now
<cmantito> jumping from seeder to seeder with ample bandwidth
<cmantito> with all the trackers it could EVER want.
Comment: mWtNet, #huggles
#160337
<@Ushanka> So, guys. I was reading a book about steganography, but I've lost my place.
<@Ushanka> This is a really good story about antigravity. I can't put it down!
<Mizzle> I fucking love this book about bibliophilia.
<@Ushanka> I started reading the Wikipedia article on gauntlets but stopped when it got too heavy-handed for my tastes.
<@Ushanka> I was reading the racy memoirs of a Wellington debutante but it made me feel a little sheepish.
<@Jello> I got all wrapped up in a book about bondage.
<Mizzle> I wasn't very far into my text on psychological trauma when I had to stop. It hurt too much.
<@Ushanka> The whole nation is abuzz for the new apiculture guide!
Comment: #thedryeraseboard on espernet
#3244
*** rmah (rmah@24-168-58-10.nyc.rr.com) has joined #javascript
<rmah> greetings fellow humans
<JibberJim> Isn't that an unwarranted assumption rmah?
<rmah> no assumptions...I do not greet non-humans
<JibberJim> fair point.
#6416
<Jason> What's NRE?
<Scott> NRE - New Relationship Energy!
<Scott> It's just like cocaine, only more expensive.
#2931
<profuse> its rather good, this is the first of anything of his that ive listened to
<profuse> heh im talkinglike im british or some shit
<al-x> hey
<al-x> americans say "rather" too
<al-x> except they say "i'd rather have a big slow car that's flashy than a car that isn't flashy but runs better"
#19300
<no-> I love gamesnet and this joyous environment
<[gZ-r]oi> that assrammer makes me feel a little uncomfortable however
#28954
knockout: yo brian, i just bought a shit load of weed!
flyinbri: this is brians mother
knockout: oh...fuck, bye
#1931
<luciddrms> boy irc is like a common link to everything fucked up on the internet
#108807
<Stueh> Dear Penis,
<Stueh> I don't think I like you anymore.
<Stueh> You used to watch me shave, now all do is stare the the floor.
<Stueh> It used to be just you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine. You know, that's all we needed to get by.
<Stueh> But now it seems that things have changed, and I think that you're the one to blame.
<Stueh> Oh penis, I don't like you anymore.
* Penis blinks
<Penis> Dear Stueh, I don't think I like you anymore. 'Cause when you get to drinkin', you put me places I've never been before.
<Penis> Why can't we just get a grip on our mand to hand relationship? Come to terms with truly how we feel? If we put our heads together, we'd just stay home forever.
<Penis> Oh Stueh... I still like you... Let's work on it...
<Stueh> Dear penis, I think I like you after all.
<DamnedPixie> Man... that was touching
<Stueh> You're telling me...
#2201
<Guilty> I see, your ignorance expands far beyond ATI video cards
#31285
<hep> fo0 is a premature ejaculator?
<G3-Game> cock mizer?
<fo0bar> hep: only when I'm around you
<G3-Game> scrooge mccock?
<kingmob> ewww
<kingmob> that's pretty bad
<dmose> cocksocket
<kingmob> cause remember what scrooge used to do in his money?
<kingmob> like, roll around in it and swim in it and stuff
<kingmob> now i'm picturing...ecccchhh
<kingmob> just...ecchhhh
<willo> with his nephews
<aykroyd> ack! /clear, dammit!!
<kingmob> ecchhhh!
<fo0bar> willo: thank you for further tainting my view of childhood
<ogw-iii> oy
<willo> anytime.