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#2300
<Monkie> I am NEVER getting involed with a girl that has a communications problem again
<Monkie> =|
<matts> she didn't know how to use her cell phone?
<Vern> lol
<notlosman> lol
<notlosman> hahahhaah
<Monkie> actaully
<Monkie> yes
<Monkie> =|
#57077
<Dyno> Lesbian porn IS boring. Do I want to watch a hamburger eat another hamburger? No. I want to eat that fucking hamburger. Both of them.
#32764
<jwz> I am not making this up:
<jwz> "Dear Sir,
<jwz> My name is SAMUEL JACKSON . I am the Family private
<jwz> Secretary/legal adviser to the former President of Liberia
<jwz> Charles Taylor before he was forced out of power and sent on exile in
<jwz> Nigeria."
<jwz> nowhere in this spam do the words "bad mother fucker" appear
<jeriko> a fake!
#12746
<ArtyMorty> we kill all the jehovah's witnesses once and for all, either we get some
peace and quiet or we get hit by lightning from a clear sky
#47379
[ @Aller ] everytime you want ops, you write /msg botname op your_password
[ @ekkIe ] how am i suppose to remember the password
[ @Aller ] uhm, lol
[ @Aller ] you use a password that's easy (for you) to remember
[ @ekkIe ] can i write it in the topic?
#300060
<@g3nocide> I must warm my wrists up for some counter strike source
<@g3nocide> back in 30 seconds
<ne0n> he means he's gonna masturbate.
#304006
Danny: Have you heard Microsoft's new Windows line?
Danny: "Windows. life without walls."
Danny: Damn right. All kinds of shit can just walk into your house whenever it damn well pleases.
#29223
<zim> I can't look at the words "Windows XP" and not think that Microsoft are sticking their tongue out at us
#5715
* NovaScorp just taped his old 15" monitor connected to his server sideways on a chair so he can IRC while in bed =-D
#301779
<Indogutsu> According to an "On This Day in America" calendar hanging on the wall in my office, Robert Fulton (the inventor of the steamboat) appeared before a House committee on February 14th, 1810 to explain the uses of torpedoes.
<Indogutsu> So to all of you who, for whatever reason, can't find love and feel left out and bitter on Valentine's Day, you can instead use this day to remember Robert Fulton and his contributions to undersea warfare.
#21221
<AndrewLB> Hmm, my entire art class is going to think I'm gay, considering this is the second shirtless guy painting I've done for this art unit...
#29179
<Lepper> I would like to be able to order groceries online using mIRC. And phone my neighbor and call her a bitch.
<Lepper> with mIRC scripting, anything is possible!
<CptnJustc> Can mIRC scripting make a boulder too heavy for it to lift?
#20195
<merk> never make a comment to your friend that a mentally challenged person in a wheelchair is getting more action than him
#5259
<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
#26380
(Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...
(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show...
(Anon) and bill them in that order
(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans...
(Anon) No no
(Anon) I just want the ticket stub
(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool
#297567
<jgw> huh apparently "blackberry" means any phone with a physical keyboard and now this dumb fucking end user, who i graciously agreed to help with their personal phone is now pissed because i recommended a piece of third party software for the blackberry to connect to our calendaring server, and it does not work with their "blackberry" aka a Palm Fucking Centro
<jgw> i need to document this incident and point people requesting favors to it with a firm "no!"
<jgw> facepalm
<RangerRick> jgw: don't you mean, faceblackberry?
#298741
* Damian likes girls that drink beer and code and are really guys
#13567
<SarahS> You can remove testicles?
<Phenom6996> Yep
<Phenom6996> and breasts
<Phenom6996> It requires special tools
<ajplus1> yeah....a knife
#27930
(@ian) my neighbor must have been like 5 or 6 yrs old
(@ian) and i was in like 4th grade
(@ian) so my friend (who lives on the other side of this kid)
(@ian) we drank some cokes
(@ian) and we were bored
(@ian) so we went out in the woods and pissed inside one of the cans
(@ian) and between both of us we like filled it up
(@ian) so then we were like hey justin.... this pop is warm i don't want it
(@ian) OK LEFT M3 HAFT IT PWEEZE!
(@ian) THIF TAFTE LAIK PISS KTHX
(@ian) *drinks some more*
(@ian) GROSS
(@ian) throws it down
(@ian) YOU GUYS SUCK
(@ian) *leaves*
(@ian) then his mom got all pissed off
(@ian) now that i think about it
(@ian) it's bad enough to drink a pop can that 2 other people's dicks have been on
(@ian) despite the fact that he drank half a coke can of piss
#15753
<Xney> how goes the job search?
<Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
<Xney> oh you haven't started?
<Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
<Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
<fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business between posting
the ad and my email to them
#39837
<dev0> Is there any better voice-canceling implementation than the usual channel-substraction thing?
<DEATH> try screaming along with inverted polarity
#1125
<`Tag> you have a lot of anger from efnet in you
<`Tag> and it shows
#1850
<Shiznaught> what better kinston or micron ram
<devGOD> i like kingston
<devGOD> did you know kingston's founder is an ex-football player
<`michael> that really makes their ram better too
#50144
<No> I'm in a class teaching PERL. We're supposed to be looking up information about it. Someone say something vaguely related to it so I can justify being on here.
<Elantios> PERL sucks
<No> That'll do.
#7868
<damnyoure> i want rock house by paula abdul :/
<Spoof> i want head by robbie williams