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#2836
<fuck> you
#307314
<amarainein> sudo -u bitch make sammich 2>/dev/null
<amarainein> that's how it's done
<robin> amarainein: Why do you want to become the bitch to make a sammich?
<amarainein> i was ordering her- oh, never mind
<amarainein> it's never funny if you have to explain it
<robin> sudo -u bitch is more like possessing her to make a demonic sammich as the walls drip with blood.
<robin> Lights flicker, and bitch suddenly finds herself making a sammich against her very will!
<robin> Yet charged to her filesystem and CPU quota!
<amarainein> exactly. and in /dev/null, noone can hear your screams
#3630
<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
#39624
<case_sens> Ive about decided that college for geeks is just about like a blind man in a movie
<case_sens> he hears all the good stuff is going on, but never gets to see any action
#31957
<kotetsu> i just put a suppository up my ass
<Ash> It's a unique feeling, ne? ^_^
<Ash> You shove them in partway, then they just get sucked up like an auto-loading CD drive.
#17414
<tytu> does anyone ever pull hisself?
<r0mulus> what?!
<tytu> when you pull your...you know
<r0mulus> hmm
<r0mulus> no
<r0mulus> i don't
<r0mulus> know what you mean
<tytu> you wrap your hand around your dick and then start to pull up and down
<r0mulus> umm... i think your in the wrong channel
#294694
<Englishbob> "We need to incorporate everything fun, great and functional about the 21st century"
<Englishbob> "This, my friends, is a USB rocket glitter lamp"
#11697
<RonZombie> \m/
<RonZombie> pretend thats a little fist making devil horns
<Aboshi> Then pretend it's cool
<RonZombie> HELLO BURN WARD
<RonZombie> MAJOR BURNAGE
#118241
<Ves> Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
<Ves> Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
Comment: #dirt - Timboss
#40809
* Now talking in #eggdrop
<@ChanServ> I am better than all of your eggdrops.
<NSA> WTF?
#16175
<KAboomy> I used to be afraid of bees
<KAboomy> now I'm just afraid of mayonaise
#305962
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
#295009
<airstrike> what do you reply to 'your kiss was still the best kiss i ever had'?
<airstrike> or most amazing, w/e
<MattTS> "Leave me alone dad..."
#31418
<away[bttf]> your out like muhammed ali in a game of jenga
#327
<persia> my favorite country song is "i fucked my horse on a sunday morning"
<migg> my fave country song is "Its midnight in montana, and i cant get my dick out of this cow"
*** You were kicked by sandk1ng (i like the song "i kicked my friend for makin fun of music i listen to")
#38015
<Jaime> this asshole pops up on my msn and he's like
<Jaime> "I hate Indians...they never use smilies, just metaphors and shit"
<Jaime> and I was like...what?
<Jaime> and he's like I'm writing a book report and I have to find a smilie
<Jaime> and I go...why would a book have a smilie?
<Jaime> and then he goes...can you read? I said simile (which he did when I re-read it)
#86063
* custardpringle was talking about how she regularly sleeps in the art building thursday nights because she works late thursdays and has art hw due first thing fridays
<Eiko> what do you sleep on?
<custardpringle> there is a lounge. with couches.
<custardpringle> I try not to think too hard about them.
* Eiko spent a week of freshman year in college sleepingin the Physical Therapy lab after doing something horrible.
<Eiko> so I know that feeling
<Ellie> Uh oh?
<Eiko> well, my freshman roommate was, uh, very amorous...
<Eiko> ...and I stopped enjoying having to find somewhere else to sleep other than my own bed on weekends...
<Eiko> ...an I was staff on the campus radio station...
<Eiko> so yeah, to save my life I slept in the PT lab for a week until my roommate stopped wanting to kill me for broadcasting twenty minutes of fucking.
<Eiko> I note it was not a live broadcast.
<Eiko> I taped it and played it on the air.
#56225
<+Pi> dhhhhh
* Pi is trying out dvorak again
<+elmar> the dvorak keyboard?
<+Pi> no, fucking the composers corpse.
#13267
<Mithrandir> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?12572
- did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<SirPrux> already read that
<SirPrux> it's not funny
<Mithrandir> did you try?
<SirPrux> Yeah
#10423
<nwinter> i think i could've made a better spreadsheet with graph paper
and a crayon.
<hep> hahaha
<nwinter> i had to put an audit i did into a spreadsheet because
apparently my boss doesn't like documents in the UNIVERSALLY READABLE
format known as ASCII.
<nwinter> he will soon receive my weekly status report as an attachment
named "micromanagement.txt"
#29837
<ikkenai> if i pull on a clitoris hard enough, will it eventually come out as a huge penis like in hentai
#56407
<thefwf> "Hello. I am very interested in this item and may be able to meet you in person to collect the hair, or possibly shave it off myself? How old are you? Thank you."
<thefwf> That's what I get for selling my chest hair on eBay
#538
<MadHatter> what you know about people and the way things work I could comfortably pass through the hole in my penis
#18733
ShidouK: That was about as funny as putting myself through a woodchipper.
Rann XXV: Depends on why you put yourself through the woodchipper.
#2812
<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses