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#20493
<HellFyre> AIM has about the functionality of a shaved poodle on fire.
<jsi> HellFyre: At least that can enrage the French.
#308081
<beeba> is this where i report issues?
<acous> you're nearly there beeba... in 26 minutes a short nordic man will enter, order a hamburger and leave without paying, follow him, but don't get too close. by the time he reaches the park he will have removed a pocket watch from his breast pocket.
<acous> then and only then, say to him, "dear lord, is that the time"
<acous> he will hand you a small red envelope with further instructions
#31494
<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
<Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen
#16990
TallyHoTheZebra: i love fire
TallyHoTheZebra: if i could have sex with it, i would
#3616
<azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my school ip
#307222
<pawz> the other day.. when i turned up in town to service this client? i actually turned up in the middle of hte night and i couldnt check into my hotel until morning. so before i left i dropped 5 tabs of lsd, and by the time i arrived i was absolutely tripping balls
<pawz> i went into the park and stacked all my bags up and put a stuffed pikachu on the top and sat there chatting on irc for a few hours
<pawz> then i walked to my old university, and wandered around seeing if my old keycard would give me access to anything
<pawz> and gave people really bizarre answers when people asked me who i was and what i was doing there
<pawz> "why are you sitting outisde the refectory with a laptop and tablet and a pickahu plushie ?" "pikachu and i are auditing your network"
Comment: #68kMLA on chat.freenode.net
#647
<Medieval> the chances of me spontaneously climaxing while thinking about that are increasing
#310173
<ais523> then running repeatedly until you get the right sequence of random numbers
<ais523> and just completely ignoring the input
<cpressey> some people live their entire lives this way, i reckon
#14083
<Entwife> I sometimes think we have one collective mind here that we just pass around occasionally
<Entwife> when we aren't using it as a coaster or something
#30648
<MikeH> mike@thor:/usr/local/subway > ./configure --prefix=/root/stomach --sandwich=sweet-onion-chicken-tariyaki --length=footlong --bread=italian-herbs-and-cheese --with-onions --with-lettuce --with-pickles --with-tomatos --with-jalapeno-peppers --with-banana-peppers --with-mustard --with-mayonnaise --with-sweet-onion-sauce
<MikeH> make
<MikeH> make install
Comment: Im...sooo...hungry...
#49574
scythen32: i've messed around with truly skinny chicks before
scythen32: it's just weird
scythen32: like instead of love handles
scythen32: they have notched ribs for superior grip
#86110
<Stueh> Hehe, in Aus the legal age is 18 and no one cares, just as long as you say you're over 18 :P
<Stueh> I walked into a store when I was 14 to buy smokes, and the guy looks at me and, instead of asking how old I was, he was like "What's your birthday?" and I gave the answer I'm used to "5th Febuary, 1989." Then just thought "FUCK!"
<Stueh> He then looked me up and down and goes: "You know, if you go outside and run around the block four times, you'll be four years older "
<Stueh> So I went out for 10 minutes, came back in, he asked me my birthday, I said 1985, and he sold to me :)
<Stueh> Welcome to Australia! :)
#7776
<u238|duhasst> right now if you put me in a round room and told me to piss in a corner.. my blader would explode
#214164
AbortedFetus has left irc.slashnet.org (Ping timeout)
<orbofwisdom> man that was a good burger
<Kitsune> O_o
<Kitsune> did you.. eat... AbortedFetus?
#2093
<dr_tril> i wanna be bruce lee
<aNuBiS-> i wanna fuck his tight chinese ass
<ChewToy> ok that's a visual i didn't need anubis
<ChewToy> what is it with you and homosexuals this morning?
<dr_tril> or what is it with him and homosexuals every morning
#42479
<Les> i hate life
<Les> i want to remove it
<borderlineerotica> it cant be that bad
<Les> from others
#242212
<&tgies> I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
<&tgies> Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
#306775
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#16776
<Pepsi> A Smith and Wesson beats four Aces.
<Tjousk> only if it's loaded
#303306
<ratty> It's really sad cycling past people who are drunk at 9:20 am. I mean, I can't have a beer for 8 more hours.
#10705
<Xellchiri> BFS, I have a message for you
<BloodFromStone> A message for me?
<BloodFromStone> From whom?
<Xellchiri> Darthie
<Xellchiri> "May you be cursed with the flatulence of a rabid camel."
<BloodFromStone> Xell: Hrmm... I find myself uninjured by her attacks. =P
* Xellchiri rolls 1d20 :: 8
<Xellchiri> yeah, she missed
#36012
--- CFC|Laptop has changed the topic to: idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle NETSPLIT NETSPLIT
* Elleo-lap has a sudden vision of idling badgers
#1827
(V_Audax) flip da flop da boing floygan
(d-_-b) v_audax has been possessed by the spirit of cosby~!?~@
#30462
<GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
<GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
<peasant> i call dibs on triangle
#154605
<@randi> seething. in. rage.
<@randi> i mean, seriously. who the fuck tries to connect to ssl via ssh?
<@randi> ssh must be the end all solution for connecting to *anything* that is encrypted
<@randi> i mean, my god.
<@randi> seriously.
<@randi> how the fuck did i ever have sex with him.
<@Verjigorm> Tab A, slot B
<@rm-fr> you had sex with someone who doesn't know the difference between ssh and ssl and who can't configure a FreeBSD workstation?
<@randi> YES
<@randi> i'm going to go home and scrub my vag until it bleeds.
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet