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#103633
Bahamut: so my dog is annoying my dad
Bahamut: and he just threatened to grill him
Bahamut: and my dog ran away
Comment: my family is viet
#34503
<TallestRed> WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH! WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!
<BlasterDRP> british toothpaste company?
#6562
<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.
#301829
< shortcircuit> So here's a fun joke to play on your Star Trek loving friends. Ask them what the name of Star Trek V was, but don't let them look it up online.
< shortcircuit> Most people I've asked get it wrong; they give the name for Star Trek VI instead.
< SilentAgony> attack of the clones
< Mattijle> empire strikes back?
#4319
<josho> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
#138941
<Siege> oh dear lord
<Siege> i might have fucked up bad
<Siege> i was taking this test in my anthropology class and the question asked about the last common ancestor between chimpanzees and humans
<Siege> im pretty sure i accidentally wrote something like "although they share many similarities, the humans and chinese branched off into different species ages ago"
<Siege> instead of chimpanzees
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
#38636
<MAD> "Linux turns 13 today"
<bassgoon> dude, lets try to coerce it in to meeting us so we can have sex with it
<MAD> agreed
<MAD> you get sloppy seconds though
#37705
<@Petah> btw, drug tests are the most degrading things on the face of the earth
<@Petah> pissing on demand into a plastic cup is by far the worst thing I've had to do in a doctor's office. it trumps "turn and cough" by a mile
<@Petah> especially when you come out and hand the nurse a cup full of piss and she comments on the volume
<@Petah> FUCK YOU BITCH I HAD A LOT OF WATER!
#62737
<@D1> I'm reading stephen hawking's website and I can't help to do it in that robot voice
#56171
<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger
#11115
<@brosie > you know what sucks
<@brosie > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie > and you get gangrene
<@brosie > in your nuts
#7956
<dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
<dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
<dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
<heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to dance.
<heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
<heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.
#31162
<nomad> then my comp teacher said, "someone sterilized a mouse, the ball is missing"
#10262
<MoonFog> Accept my send!!
<spark-> are you behind a firewall?
<MoonFog> Yes. but i can send
<spark-> Please consult your network administrator
<MoonFog> I am, and i know it works
<spark-> Please insult your network administrator
#29677
<MASTERrg> Japan ain't all that special.
<pluggydug> they got school girls!!
<pluggydug> that in itself is special enough for me!!
#278831
<laffy> i wanna get stoned
<assembler> go to iran then
#29844
<Doody> Man.
<Doody> It's sad.
<Doody> When a person doesn't know what GOATSE is.
<Wolfy2779> what's goatse?
#53829
<Kedrot> man, i think i'm catching teh ghey
<hey> sadly noticing early symptoms wont help
Comment: #geekissues EfNET
#140596
<LoveLight> it would be cool if a woman gave birth and pushed so hard that the baby fired out of her cooter at incredible speeds, then the umbilical cord acted like a bungee cord and the baby went right back in
<AppleBoy> o_O
<AppleBoy> where the hell did that idea come from?
<LoveLight> idk
<LoveLight> an intoxicated mind
Comment: From ##physics on Freenode
#38174
<+nemnock> yo imagine if electric cars could harness the power of lightning
<+nemnock> they would be faster than gasoline cars
<@Justinian> ...
<@SonicVIBE> nemnock
<@m0rn> hehe
<@SonicVIBE> shut your face.
<@Justinian> seriously
<+nemnock> hahaa
<+nemnock> lightning would be like a shot of nos
<@Justinian> that's in contention for the dumbest thing ever said in here
Comment: Par for the course folks.
#38130
<@depressed> After years of being lonely, somebody finally asked me to go out with her to the cinema.
<@depressed> Too bad she's my sister.
#29572
<[SoC]_Runaway> ( " ) FUCK U TERRORIST
<PwOBeH> ROFL
<Terrorist> WHY?
<PwOBeH> Someone woke up the wrong side of the WTC today didn't they
#76942
<Foxhill[away]> vista was released yesterday
<Foxhill[away]> 6 security updates released today
<Foxhill[away]> go go microsoft
<eranu> i thought its whole selling point was it was 'more secure' than xp
<Foxhill[away]> vista may be the most secure after Windows ME
<Foxhill[away]> cus no-one used that either
<Foxhill[away]> ME didn't actually spend enough time between crashes for a virus infection to kick in
#17058
<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo
#310406
<@pronto> Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book.
<@pronto> The future is stupid.