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#14886
<karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell script.
<Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.
#8112
<Palindrome80> (oh. my. god. josh just showed me pornographic harry potter fan fiction.)
<thedreya> (I REFUSE to read the porno harry potter fanfic. I stick to gay A-team fanfic)
#294895
<&mezzanine> Congratulations
<&mezzanine> The document located at <whitehouse.gov> was successfully checked as XHTML 1.0 Transitional.
<&mezzanine> oh my
<&mezzanine> change has indeed come
#31923
<Lailoken> On Cinemax tonight they're showing Shrek from 11:00 to 12:30 and then Best Sex Ever from 12:30 to 1:00.
<Lailoken> Somewhere in America parents leave their child to go to a dinner party, "Here honey, you just watch Shrek and we'll be home some time after midnight."
#6889
<_Tenchi_> jwzrd-: are you a pole smoker too ?
<jwzrd-> _Tenchi_: why, you want your pole smoked ?
#299883
ftmysally: I can not send email at all
ctnpinciotti: Go into your account settings and set your imap one to default.
ftmysally: my imap account is my default
ctnpinciotti: What happens when you try to send?
ftmysally: nothing unless I press send and receive
ctnpinciotti: So what happens when you do that...
ftmysally: it sends
ctnpinciotti: so...
ftmysally: never mind
#46442
<%PortoRob> okay, this is a good story
<%PortoRob> the pastors daughter and i fooled around
<%PortoRob> and it involved carrots
<%PortoRob> in her
<%PortoRob> when we were done, we put the carrots back in the fridge
<%spock1104> LOL
<%PortoRob> and her mom put them in stew that night
<%spock1104> oh man
<%spock1104> that's awesome
<%PortoRob> so we're at the table, eating, and KJ and are trying not to laugh as her mother, sister, two brothers, and father eat carrots that were only hours before firmly embedded into her vagina
Comment: #WPI
#34600
<homerj_> DDR modes are like EASY, NORMAL, AZN
#26288
<TuxMan> beh you know what happened...
<terminus> what?
<TuxMan> i whacked off while watching the linux kernel compile...
<TuxMan> i mean... uh...
<terminus> o_O
#4899
<l0wkey> if i see something so fucking cute, like another rugrats movie or babe movie, im going on a spree
<sabbat> a killing spree i hope
<l0wkey> i was thinking along the lines of shopping spree, but suggestion noted
#7991
<someone>: how good does txt compress?
<overmind>: rather good, they often can be compressed to 10% of their original volume
<someone>: no, i meant which one compresses better doc-files or txt, because I want to export my icq-history and in word it has 600 pages, so which one should i take?
<overmind>: take word and set the font size to 1, so you get the best compression
#297849
<mistah_j> If you watch porn in reverse it's about a guy who vacuums jizz of a woman's face and then takes his Pizza back to work
#3659
<Mazroth> A girl waved to me once before making out with her boyfriend, does that count as scoring?
#33711
<Neon[UK]> i'm starting a successful online business
<Neon[UK]> and im 17
<Neon[UK]> so fuck you all
<Neon[UK]> apart from rjx
<Rjx> heh
<Rjx> you can't _start_ a succesful business
<Rjx> you get that status after a few years
#29877
<rezza> wow this 2.6 linux kernel is a big improvement on the 2.4 series... i can do all sorts of crap at the same time with no slowdown...
<mojomonkee> while you're compiling programs and updating dependencies at blazing speeds
<mojomonkee> i'm actually doing things
#301482
<Emerald> During the hurricane of 1955 that hit Connecticut, my grandfather's neighbors were on vacation. Afterward, he sent them the following telegram, in its entirety: "What do you want me to do with your roof?"
#36558
<Rjx> when a friend of mine wrote me a birthday card, she wrote "happy birthday!!1111"
<Rjx> with the ones actually included
Comment: #geekissues
#20844
<A-C> This is great...
<A-C> MS Spellchecker just told me to hyphenate mother-fucker.
#45574
<alex323> so i was like "hey mom what day was i born on"
<alex323> and she was like "march 23"
<alex323> and im like "thats my birth day how weird"
<saracen> what the hell do you think a _birth_day is?
<alex323> ooooh
#42576
<+vacuumo> I get nickalerted when people say anything containing 'vac'
<+Svip> I like vacpie.
<+Moto> I vacuumed my house today
<Goodfella> ass vac
<+Moto> Hey, have any of your steam accounts got vac'd yet?
<+EmSixTeen> Shake n' Vac
<&Segosa> vaca = cow in spanish.
<+Steven> packer vac
<+Rotten> i wanna go on vacation soon \:
<Goodfella> I got vac shit
<+Svip> You just had to say it, vacuumo?
#44913
<phrog> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full.
#34053
<+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
<+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
<+ApEtc> Remove it
<+llamaInAbox> the eye?
<+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complaining
Comment: #distributed on Hashmark
#8721
<pritch> yeah well i do an english writing degree
<Linguica> do have
#46503
<L0rdG0h4n> SOMEBODY JUST SHOT A GUN RIGHT THROUGH MY BACKYARD FENCE
<Radar> Obviously they MISSED.
#236280
<Upthorn> The place I lived on the outskirts of baltimore had good sound insulation
<superjupi> I'd give two ovaries and most of a kitten to have good sound insulation
<BagOfMagicFood> If I type this many letters then it lines up good sound insulation