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#3618
<establish> 16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like guys who are short, overweight, not good looking, and who are really into computers and video games/plus I have genital warts
#311421
<CaptainJistuce> I am still waging a linguistic battle against that use of the term fixed. Surely an animal works as intended before the procedure, which renders a major subsystem inoperational. They are broken afterwards.
#56782
boudi24: what do u use to protect ur computer from all kinds of viruses and adwares and spywares and pop ups...
boudi24: ?
metsoc30: common sense mostly
boudi24: what's that ?
boudi24: is it a program ?
#35590
<assbear> anyone want a hug?
<crsh> not from someone named assbear
#109
<Jigsaw> a DVD and a CD are the same thing when they're blank aren't they?
<Jarvik8> cds are made of pikachu skins
#2330
[13:18] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) has joined #phear
[13:18] <BombScare> woo...lets see how long my cable lasts today
[13:22] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) Quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[13:23] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) has joined #phear
[13:23] <LPC> new record
[13:23] <LPC> 4 minutes
#15566
Leftist i like songs where they count or spell things, to fill space.
Eeyore so you're a big fan of sesame street songs, leftist?
#28869
<ThenaROX> can anyone think of a kool quit message that isnt already taken?
<-- ThenaROX has quit (Killed (*.worldirc.org (i got killed by Errtu)))
Comment: #tavern / worldirc
#917
e l i t e m r p: afk, working on my invention
n e r d b 5: invention.....uhm, whats it do?
e l i t e m r p: converts piss into drinking water
e l i t e m r p: so far, still tastes yucky
#297184
<roxylucy> omg did i tell you what embarrassing thing happened to me the other day?
<hedgab> not that i know of
<roxylucy> ok. well, i was visiting my friend in the hospital
<hedgab> yeah
<roxylucy> and so i was leaving
<roxylucy> but in the next room, i noticed a man covered in machinery, shivering.
<roxylucy> and i thought that was sad, so i pulled the blanket up for him
<roxylucy> and, with his breathing mask on, says, "can you see if my testicles are black"
<hedgab> omg really?
<roxylucy> i tried to decline, but he looked so frail and desperate
<roxylucy> so i checked to make sure no one was looking
<roxylucy> and i looked at it and it was just fine
<hedgab> haha ok
<roxylucy> so i was like, "nope, none of it is black"
<roxylucy> and he takes off his mask and says, "can you see if my test results are back"
#40669
<Mookeh> Pf, I'm taking head from a guy who duct taped himself to a ceiling trying to replace a light bulb
<jez> wtf
<Oranz> WTF
<Mookeh> OMG, worst typo ever! I meant HEAT!
#296866
<Pryoidain> I just spazzed on some poor telemarketer, and then orchestrated it to my advantage
<Pryoidain> I picked up my cell phone
<Pryoidain> he said something about vacuumes
<Pryoidain> and I just made this series of loud noises
<Pryoidain> then held the phone away from my face, and yelled in my normal voice
<Pryoidain> "JESUS HE'S GOT THE PHONE!"
<Pryoidain> then dropped it and fumbled it a few times
<Pryoidain> then picked it up, and very calmly said
<Pryoidain> "Nathanial Private Mental Services, How may I help you?"
<Pryoidain> I heard a click, and that's the last I think I'll ever hear from them
#305711
* fantasyprone (fantasypro@hide-3089BE47.static.tpgi.com.au) Quit (Ping timeout)
* Apathy runs off to sleep
<Apathy> also tell fantasyprone i said "saw that coming!"
<snark> future fantasyprone says to tell you she saw your mom coming last night
<snark> I have a time machine
<snark> and will pass on your message to avoid a paradox
* fantasyprone (fantasypro@hide-3089BE47.static.tpgi.com.au) has joined #elitists
<snark> fantasyprone: Apathy said to tell you he saw that coming
<fantasyprone> if you see Apathy again, you can tell him I saw his mom coming
<snark> Will do.
* snark hops in a time machine and jumps back a couple of minutes
* snark emerges from the time machine again.
<snark> All done.
<fantasyprone> thanks
#5396
<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college students fail so much
#33834
<pyro> I remember when I was younger this chick wanted me to give her a hickey but i didn't know how.. so i went on google
#58053
<+Dodgepot> holy shit..
<+Dodgepot> I have a daughter
<+Dodgepot> bbs
#44352
<jeriko> you know that community center down the street here in town?
<mattz> yes
<jeriko> they just started up a new small organization called People Helping Underpriverlaged Kids
<jeriko> i'm thinking of joining the lovely people at PHUK myself.
<mattz> lmao
#32197
<Davey_Rootbeer> that's my favorite one
<rainyday> you could always draw a piccy of the person and stab that with a spork
<Davey_Rootbeer> won't work, he'll suck his own blood and grow stronger
<Davey_Rootbeer> we need to put a stake through it's heart
<Davey_Rootbeer> or a steak
<Davey_Rootbeer> so he'll die from calories
<Davey_Rootbeer> or mad cow
#5927
<@wickedsun> I dont know the difference between games and reality anymore
<@wickedsun> I jsut used a shotgun on my mother and she's not respawning
#301451
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird
#16387
<@MousePad> Mainframes never forget ;)
#35966
<Murray-Mint> I'm up for Fuedalism
<Murray-Mint> as long as I can be the Lord
<Flirbnic> No way. Me!
<Mort-Hog> In two lines, we've summed up the fundemental problem of feudalism.
#239784
Jimmy: People like to write on the wall above the urinals ...
Jimmy: So whenever the school has their big monthly tour, they paint over it.
Jimmy: ... the morning after the tour: "FIRST!"
#7951
<sommerfeld> perl: what you get when you take a couple features from every known language and toss them in a blender.
<sommerfeld> with 20g of crack and a dab of lsd
<perry> sommerfeld: the LSD is purely for flavor.
#18842
<Ksilebo> Why is it I want to marry SlashChick more and more every day?
<skillio> because you dont actually know she's a man yet