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#7855
<octo> no matter what anyone tells you, or how much you think it would be a good idea, never ever put aftershave on your balls
<HeXeDeCiMaL> OMG 0 ...
<Angelhair> curiosity will get you every time
<Ninja_Bill> as far as i know curiosity didnt make a cat put aftershave on its nuts
#64
<Ash> Win2k! ^_^
*** Ash Quit (Read error: 73 (Connection reset by peer))
#305896
<LowBatteryLife> Vengines.
<LowBatteryLife> A car that runs on anger.
#1026
(TheGamer) people are so broke here [THE UNITED KINGDOM] - because many brits are unskilled, as you can leave school with a standing at 16. Many people live in housing equivalent to Manitoba Housing (gov't assisted housing)
(TheGamer) however.. you as a Canadian would not be entitled to any benefits.. except free birth control pills
(tiko) I'd get free birth control pills?!?!
(tiko) DAMMIT!
(tiko) SOLD!
#27266
<mtek> mailin-01.mx.aol.com. 299 IN A 152.163.224.26
<mtek> mailin-01.mx.aol.com. 299 IN A 64.12.136.57
<bCc> wtf
<mtek> could try one of them O_o
<bCc> DONT HURT OURMEXICAN AOL SERVERS
<spear_> telnet 64.12.136.89 110
<spear_> not working
<mtek> mx doesnt mean mexican
<mtek> :/
<demetry> lmao
<bCc> oh.
<mtek> idiot
<mtek> lol
<demetry> mail exchange
* bCc goes back to my corner
#1390
<hypr> MY MOM WONT LET M,E WEAR HEADPHONES CAUSE SHE THINKS THEY WILL GIVE ME CANCER OR A BRAIN TUMOR
<hypr> she like sneaks up behind me and takes them off and says she will break them if she sees em on me again
<hypr> :(
<[cut]> <schwtzngr> IT'S NOT A TUMOR!
#871
<AlmtyBob> I think there are more christians than bullets
<AlmtyBob> sucks
#8743
<Linguica> heh
<Quasar`> bone thugs called the street they lived on the Double Glock because its East 99th
<Linguica> has anyone noticed that quasar almost never talks about bone thugsFUCK
#2908
<DEMI1999> ed's hit an all time high of un-understandability
<DEMI1999> <eDz0ph_gb> d0f eye ,ent n0am
#6812
(user1) whio'
(user1) is awke?!?2
(user1) aggha
(user1) aned to think i oepratd a motr vejcal
#28491
* Keeshi slaps Dark around with a large spiked dildo.
<Keeshi> :P
<Darklyte> wtf
<Darklyte> why the hell do you have a spiked dildo?
<Keeshi> Trouts are no fun.
#307592
<flotwig> non-computer people ask what you like to do
<flotwig> just say "oh, i'm in the php scene"
<flotwig> they'll think you're doing drugs or some shit
<arpad> "poor guy, he can't even spell pcp"
#217199
<BlackMage> ...What the hell.
<BlackMage> I went to use the phone... and it shouts at me that it has incorrect network settings.
<BlackMage> What the fuck, liar.
<BlackMage> Now it's saying that I'm a new user. :(
<BlackMage> I don't want this phone anymore.
Comment: irc.xevium.net
#3194
<dot> one sex
<dot> eek
<dot> sec
<dot> damn that typo
<Alexander> sure
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...
#1723
<k-rad-bob> i made an avi of me jacking off
<k-rad-bob> then i jacked off while watching it
* linKnee is afk: PUKING
#160337
<@Ushanka> So, guys. I was reading a book about steganography, but I've lost my place.
<@Ushanka> This is a really good story about antigravity. I can't put it down!
<Mizzle> I fucking love this book about bibliophilia.
<@Ushanka> I started reading the Wikipedia article on gauntlets but stopped when it got too heavy-handed for my tastes.
<@Ushanka> I was reading the racy memoirs of a Wellington debutante but it made me feel a little sheepish.
<@Jello> I got all wrapped up in a book about bondage.
<Mizzle> I wasn't very far into my text on psychological trauma when I had to stop. It hurt too much.
<@Ushanka> The whole nation is abuzz for the new apiculture guide!
Comment: #thedryeraseboard on espernet
#300871
<Error1355>: Cows can feel pain, emotions, depression, etc just the same as us, so why do we have the right not to be hurt and incarcerated and they don't? What makes us so special? If it is our ability to *think* then babies and mentally handicapped adults should have no rights either. Why the discrepancy?
<or_something>: well im going to start eating retarded babies to make that person feel better
#307039
<scoff> Look, the watermelon was being microwaved to defrost it, and I don't know how my pants fell down when I tripped but those pictures are my intellectual property
#6211
<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees
#300960
Also, I came up with the best Metal band name ever
Are you ready?
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
That’s it! Parenthesis, seeking female keyboardist, exclamation point, end-parenthesis. That way, every flyer for your show, you’d make whatever band was above you on the flyer seem like total posers.: Imagine the following on a telephone pole near you:
**************************
12/06 at The Pound, all ages:
BIOHAZARD
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
DISCONFORMITY
************************
or:
***********************
12/19 at CBGBs:
SLAYER
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
NILE
DEATHCOOCH DEBACLE
SOCIOPATHIC REMRANT
***********************
#4886
<chris--> now i have to tell the coach that i can't play because my wrist hurts
<chris--> and he asks me how i injuried it
<chris--> and i say swinging a bat
<chris--> and it sounds stupid.
<chris--> it has 'masturbation injury' written all over it
#311370
<Helix_Mouse> breadsticks are delicious
<Helix_Mouse> I want a breadstick
<MilesGates> >:C
<MilesGates> Whats the magic word?
<Helix_Mouse> accio breadstick
#54419
<Malekh> Farts make me sad
<ridger> do you believe that all your happy is escaping?
#43508
<sEcretz> What happened was i was watchin porn on my PC and i blacked out. My mum found me unconcious on the floor with my dick out and porn on the screen. She hasnt spoken to me since.
#36900
<rhyno> okay
<rhyno> I must be losing my mind
<rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station
<rhyno> because I can't find my car keys
<rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago
<DaemonX> pj station?
<rhyno> yeah
<rhyno> gas station
<rhyno> but the thing was
<rhyno> I was going there to get gas
<DaemonX> without your car?
<rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys
<rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk"
<rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I going here for.."
<rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!"
<rhyno> then walked back
<DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that