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#1784
<D1> on call for help, they ask this guy for the type of modem he has, so he tries to be a bigshot and says, "YEAH, I HAVE AN INDUSTRY STANDARD ARCHITECHTURE MODEM, I THINK IT'S PCI."
#32631
<issuez> yea except i did everyone
<issuez> when i meant to do one
#152432
<+Guillotine> If anybody wants to participate in the greatest April fools of all time, I need a .wav of the rickroll song and .tga version of every .5 second interval in the video
<+Guillotine> (I think you can see where I'm going with this)
<@Iriel> Hell?
<+Guillotine> Probably
#30539
<stu> if i could sell feet odour, i'd be rich
<jonathans> and alone
Comment: #lost
#11625
<GodofDeath> Do you people think that racism is funny or something?
<GodofDeath> You are so dense because you are naive to what it's like to have racism effect you.
<\slick> I'm aware of it when a black person assume I have it good because I'm white, and that nothing bad happens to me because I'm white. WHITE PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
<Alice> How dare you say I don't know what it's like to be a victim of racism, I was walking down the street yesterday when a blackie bumped into me. I had to run home instantly and wash. Don't fucking talk to me about being a victim.
#14190
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#67390
<eieioh> i completely trashed my vocal cords this weekend while playing a few gigs with my band..i'm not supposed to talk
<eieioh> tonight i was at work and they put me on delivery instead of in the kitchen like i usually do
<eieioh> i made nine deliveries before 8, when we stop delivering..and all but two of the customers called to complain that i was rude and impolite because i didn't say anything
<eieioh> and my boss, whenever someone complains, wants the person who was complained about to apologize to the person complaining
<eieioh> but my boss wouldn't let me because of my voice. but finally i got tired of people calling..so i told him to let me take it
<eieioh> here's what i said to everyone.."sir/ma'am, i apologize for your dissatisfaction but i have esophagal cancer and this job is helping me pay my chemotherapy expenses."
<eieioh> my boss and i were laughing so hard, but it hurt so much to laugh i nearly puked.
<eieioh> one of them came in to give me a tip. :D
#33034
(@[iNw]Tessai) <- virgin :(
(@[iNw]ForK) sif
(@[iNw]ForK) how old are you?
(@[iNw]Tessai) 19
(@[iNw]ForK) wow, I didnt think they made 19 year old virgins anymore
#189
<chernobyl> flash isn't going down. flash is putting java out of business
<chernobyl> how long has XML been around, and no one's moving to it
#16702
<azrael69> wtf did i really start typing Oasis lyrics AGAIN?! i gotta cut back on the intoxicants
#5259
<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
#296679
<@impossible> my buds and i share dedicated server hosting
<@impossible> so we all paypal our one friend for the monthly payment
<@impossible> so for the last four months it's been paypal messages like, "less teeth, more attentino to the balls"
<@impossible> and he got an email today saying his account has been permanently closed for adult services, which is a violation of paypal usage
#109865
-:- easymac [easymac@xxxxx] has joined #epilepsy
<easymac> EVERYONE TYPE THIS
<easymac> /timer 0 0 //color background $rand(0,15)
<easymac> it's really cool
#1306
(nexxai) holy fuck...I was just reading a ton of IRC quotes, then got up, and it was like I entered a new dimension
(nexxai) reality.....it's weirder than you think.
#14093
<Shandz> i just got an electric shock off the phone
<Quicksilver> static or live?
<Shandz> I dunno, think live
<Shandz> cos when i stuck my hand in again it shocked me again
*** Shandz is now known as Shandz|phone
#16566
<jenn> BUKKAKE!
<DogBoy> ouch
<Asmodean> bukkake? isn't that the japanese rope tying fetish?
<DogBoy> no
<prefect> you're so young and innocent, asmodean
<DogBoy> lol
<Asmodean> young.. maybe.. innocent.. no :)
<DogBoy> hmm
<DogBoy> I can't even spell that
<DogBoy> I'm gonna ask my mom what it means
<Asmodean> bukkake?
<Asmodean> oh my
<Asmodean> hitting "i am feeling lucky" in google for bukkake was umm.. *sooo* not work friendly
#33754
<phoxxy> i was on the phone with a company for my business that was in Tennesee. the guy was trying to tell me information over the phone. i aksed if they had a website and he goes "Well, I didn't offer to give you our website information because I didn't think you had internet in Indiana."
* phoxxy was like WTF!?
* phoxxy has a T1 in her home mother fucker
<Puchu> indiana has no internet
<GorgeousOrifice> Indiana's all backwards and shit
<phoxxy> when I told the guy I had a T1 at home, he goes "Is that like dial-up?"
Comment: logged on #fark
#16727
wil1184: <azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my school ip
wil1184: explain that to me
Eyes of Prisms: no clue
wil1184: fucking geeks
#294698
<@Rjx_> the hairiest guy I know is turkish
<@Rjx_> he shaved his stomach one day and found out he had a six-pack
<@Rjx_> and was really happy
#43241
<Serene> comprehensive sentences plz gizlice and stop yelling
<Nismorack> She was already on my PM. But I put her on ignore.
<Freezerburn> she?
<Freezerburn> it has a gender?
<Nismorack> I stereo type a lot.
<Nismorack> And since this one came of as being annoying and whining. I clasified it as a woman.
#17361
(@Thwark): if masturbating improved penis growth, not only would we all *know*, but it would have entire library wings dedicated to the study.
#5888
<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"
#32934
<splice> i'll be taking out my agression on you poor souls for the rest of the day
<Hatter> aggression
<wild`> owned
<splice> if wild is allowed to fuck a camel i am allowed one typo a year
#17483
<JustNoodle> be right back
<JustNoodle> it's time for my daily sacrifice of a virgin
<meatwad_> you're committing suicide?!
#44205
<EvilPasta> "<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter"
<EvilPasta> Bah, i got frreakin fired for eating a cheeseburger i stole