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#1625
<TasmBoy> does anyone have the source code to windows?
#237419
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
#295812
<@toastydea> dear lord, i have to have "the talk" with my mom
<@toastydea> about why we can't be friends on facebook
#7479
<rlorenzon> ...and that's when i knew she was the one
<wolfnip> how did you know that?
<rlorenzon> because...i lost all my friends.
#653
<metio> is there a pirated site that ahs the newest version of linux
#3887
<KNG_SNK> ok i was at work today
<KNG_SNK> and two ppl were missing...
<KNG_SNK> and this guy's office was locked
<KNG_SNK> but i knew there was someone in there... VERY quiet too
<KNG_SNK> so me and some buds went over to the next building
<KNG_SNK> to try to peek in
<KNG_SNK> and man... they were goin at it
<KNG_SNK> but we could clearly see humping action
#319
<Garr|ncha> metallica is a terrible mix of heavy metal and country
#52991
<Maniaman> bah
<Maniaman> i forget how to spell maintenance
<Maniaman> wait nevermind
Comment: #gscript at irc.freenode.net
#18
<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
#1309
~ TwinWork is craving chinese
(TwinWork) any asian girls in here?
#38259
<Benbread> What 'version' of linux do you intend to use?
<RyanF> The Latest
#295261
<numaris> you pidantic bitch santa
<SantaBJ> pedantic.
#50883
<skreid> so i was trick or treating right
<GODLY> arent u a little old for that?
<skreid> fuck no
<skreid> anyway
<skreid> so i went as a present this year, just a bigass bow and some curled ribbons, and i go up to this door
<skreid> and a 75 year old woman and her husband open the door, and the woman goes "what are you?"
<skreid> i go "a present", and she gives me candy. just as i start to walk away, she goes
<skreid> "who would want that??"
<skreid> and some little kid behind me just goes "OHHHH! BURN!"
#77336
<zap> What's worse iggy?
<iggy> what?
<zap> Giving your boss the system documentation, all 800 pages of swedish-chef York-desh-born Bork Bork Bork and visio diagrams of many chefs interconnected with kitchen utilities and wiring with various details
<zap> (ie, IP: BORK.BORK.BORK.BORK, System Name: Borka_de_Borka!)
<zap> or finding out that, with the help of the manual, he restored approximately /40GB/ of data spanning 3 DLT tapes (in a very unfriendly autoloader), to the proper locations, with the proper permissions, having never done this before?
<iggy> wtf
<zap> Thats what I thought.
<zap> Even more interestingly, he hasn't commented on the booklet or asked me about it. He did, however, let a bork slip as he was leaving for lunch today after asking some dumb questions about licensing.
<iggy> ...
#16194
<Read^Tired>: u just like sucking ur own dick
<Rayor>: is it that obvious?
#73370
madskz: i' tried ass fuck
takefive: Ahaha
takefive: wait, why?
madskz: what??
madskz: oh shit
madskz: *i'm tired as fuck
#19467
Lotach: earlier today at work, I took some confectionary sugar and laid it out in a thin line, then left a straw next to it and walked away
#35633
<FreeRobo> guys my mom just told me the internet isnt working and to fix it and then she yelled at me for something unrelated she really doesnt know how to make people even bother 2 help!
<mef> and then you turned to irc for emotional support
<FreeRobo> yes
<mef> faggot
#40976
<@allio> What she expected was a photo from a customer service representative to make sure her camera phone was working. What she got was a series of close-ups his genitals.
<@allio> is it just me, or would that make a great movie tagline?
#34621
* StoneCold Cringes
<StoneCold> I have reached a new level off geekendom. I was talking on the phone to someone and I said cringe out loud.
#39251
Searcher> Man, all my MacGyver'ing is going to come back and kill me. I just know it. Next to my bed, I have a chair stuck in the corner of the room. On either side of the corner, I have a two-by-four wedged. On top of the two-by-fours, I have a dowel rod duct-taped. Hanging from the dowel rods, just kind of hooked over the top, I have a fan, oscillating. Sitting on top the inverted fan's base, I have a speaker. One day, that speaker is going to fall on my head.
#9976
Nikki_afe > Russian biscuits are nice :)
Snaar_afe > Nikki: hm, i can't remember anything special about them
Snaar_afe > Nikki: i'm not sure if there is such thing as russian buscuits :-)
Snaar_afe > maybe it's just a rebranded dry dogfood :-,
oPless_afe > "russian biscuits" = potatos
#4281
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
#101889
<Rjx> i think the internet makes smart people smarter and stupid people louder
<rm-fr> SHUT UP!!!
#5667
<Hendrix> Is it a bad thing when you wank so much cum nothing but air?