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#53323
<beezlebub>hey, anyone know a good way to get blood out of car seat fabric?
<mooT>o.0
<BUST2>...
<ninWed>...
<beezlebub>nm, wrong chan.
<mooT>WHAT CHAN IS THAT OK IN!
#3154
<spazzer> !quote *_bas*
<festis> <_Bas> stop fucking quoting me
#17244
<Muppet> *arf arf*
<damnyoure> *slap slap*
<Muppet> *bite bite*
<damnyoure> *bang bang*
<Muppet> *die die*
<damnyoure> *bury bury*
<Muppet> *rot rot*
#223
<[azn]> i am valid victorian
#44843
<scott> I didn't do it. I wasn't there. I never saw her!
<scott> And she didn't tell me how old she was!
#4848
<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK
#55838
<altoid> so this ~20 year old walks up with his mom to the register
<altoid> and she's paying with a check
<altoid> so our cashier asks her for ID to verify
<altoid> and he says (jokingly): "why do you have to be such a bitch?"
<altoid> (to the cashier)
<altoid> and his mom turns to him, and says with a concerned tone:
<altoid> "you're gonna have a lot of success with the ladies"
<altoid> the guy: "..."
<altoid> the cashier couldn't even be mad at him for calling her a bitch
<altoid> i think if my mom told me that, i'd have to go kill myself within 5 mins
Comment: the Gap
#1713
<odinnn> i used to be scared i would turn into a mexican if i ate too much
mexican food
#55138
<MadeInAustralia> 95% of emos are homosexual
<Pen_Pen> And the rest are female.
#307868
<Greed> You guys wanna hear something fucked?
<olleman> we're on the internet, after all
koala_bot waits for it
<Greed> The previous owner of my cell phone number died in a car crash involving a drunk driver.
<Greed> His mom, who has dementia, calls me 10-14 times per week and leaves messages asking when 'Thomas' is going to come home and stop dallying around with his friends
<Greed> Or when he's going to come vistit her
<Greed> Or asking Thomas what's for dinner
<Greed> Or pleading with him to call her more
<olleman> dude.
<Greed> And if I pick up the number and explain to her that I'm not Thomas
<Suppa_Spic> :3
<Greed> She'll argue and cry and plead with me to stop messing with her
<Greed> And this happens on almost a daily basis
<Greed> Sometimes she'll call me at 2AM and ask me where I am
<Greed> Why I'm not at home eating cornbread
<olleman> that is heart breaking
<Suppa_Spic> Greed: tell her her son is dead
<Greed> And when I pick up the phone now and again and tell her that she has the wrong number, that Thomas isn't even part of this world anymore
<Greed> She gets angry and even more sad and yells at me to stop playing sick games with her
<Greed> And because of the Dementia, she doesn't remember each encounter the next day
<Greed> Every day is just a replay of the day before he died for her
<WordpressNoob> wait
<WordpressNoob> your number is tied to your phone not a SIM?
<WordpressNoob> get off CDMA man
<Greed> Google Voice.
<Greed> Actually no, the number she calls is the phone's
<chiper> I'd have gotten a new number a long time ago
<Greed> Nobody else knows that number but she and I
<Greed> I mean
<Greed> I can't do that
<Greed> I don't know what it would do to her if every time she called him (Once or twice a day), she got a dead line
#52660
<@Log> Ugh...
<@Log> Don't ever jump into a car like they do in the Dukes Of Hazzard.
<@Log> Unless of course you WANT to get sodomised by the gear shift. :(
#60255
< larsivi> heh, I talked to this sysadmin once who wondered where all the printers in his network came from ... it turned out his search script started at 10.226.0.69, and ended at .68, making him search the whole internet for unsecured printers ...
< larsivi> the search had taken 21 days ...
Comment: #d @ freenode
#5727
<BloodAngel> I was just trying to find something in my pants pocket- but I didn't know what.
<BloodAngel> [don't start, don't _even_ start!]
<BloodAngel> And then I realized what I was looking for...
<BloodAngel> And proved I'm dumb. :)
<BloodAngel> 'cuz I was trying to find the 2-Litre of Mountain Dew that I set down.
#5885
<splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
<splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
<purenergy> ya
<purenergy> u can do that now
<purenergy> use ur imagination
<splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl in a bar
<splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her spatch
<splurge> wiggle it around
<splurge> vibrate
<splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
<splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a seat beside you
<splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny
#3756
<Ad0> I met my gf (which is here as we speak) over IRC
<Wyatt> Ad0: Are you both IRCing side-by-side?
<Ad0> almost
<Ad0> she is in the kitchen with the laptop
#79646
(Volte) people in japan want to look like americans
(Volte) nerds in america want to look japanese
(Volte) they should just switch places and they would be all set
(Nudger) japanese people really really like foreigners
(Nudger) they just hate the idea of foreigners being anywhere near them
(Nudger) im going to set up a zoo
(Nudger) nerds can come and watch anime for free and japanese people can interact with them from a safe distanc
#39251
Searcher> Man, all my MacGyver'ing is going to come back and kill me. I just know it. Next to my bed, I have a chair stuck in the corner of the room. On either side of the corner, I have a two-by-four wedged. On top of the two-by-fours, I have a dowel rod duct-taped. Hanging from the dowel rods, just kind of hooked over the top, I have a fan, oscillating. Sitting on top the inverted fan's base, I have a speaker. One day, that speaker is going to fall on my head.
#252356
xexyz: I don't think there are NATO specs for Nerf ammunition
#217
<Amanda`> while(every_girl_except_me == idiot)
<Amanda`> cout << "INFINITE LOOP OF H8" << endl;
#29945
<Al> you left a burning bag of dogshit on the doorstep of my heart
#295392
< beoba> i d8ed a guy who couldnt get work study because harvard was giving more money than federal rules allowed
< Sub-Zero> you know, it took me a few seconds to understand d8ed.
< Divine> it's some kind of g8alk
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#7952
<ZangTT> it's like a massive 300 story zombie john maynard keynes is wandering through california, tearing down buildings and breathing fire.
#70213
<JamesF1> I was sat in a lecture today at Uni, and I saw drawn on the desk:
<JamesF1> "I graduate in 6 weeks, and I'm still immature enough to draw on desks"
<cmad> rofl!
Comment: The joys of Cardiff University...
#303898
<AndrewBC> My favorite password is "incorrect"
<AndrewBC> that way when I get it wrong, they remind me
<AndrewBC> "Your password is incorrect"
#295367
< r3in> wow
< r3in> so i totally forgot that i was 21
< r3in> I guess i missed a year somewhere