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#83969
<Karg> I had a buddy once who thought it'd be real cool to huff glue.
<Karg> He was standing like in the middle of our group and he's like "hey guys, check this shit!"
<Karg> So he gets this glue.
<Karg> On the first huff he squeezes the bottle and ends up gluing his nose shut.
<Karg> Funniest hospital visit ever.
#2391
<maff> you're such a sarcastabitch brett
<timmo`> if by sarcastic you mean sexy, then yes.
#15825
<Moogboy> That Quotes page is retarted
<Moogboy> Do you know how much of them are most likely completely fake?
<WeslyC> I hear ya man
<WeslyC> This is one of 'em.
<Moogboy> O_o
#306044
<@CiTay> haha... watching Science.Ch.Moon.Machines.5of6.Space.Suit... in the space suit, they had this "pee bag" with a condom-like hose leading to it. initially they had three sizes for the condom-like part, small, medium and large. but all astronauts ordered the large part, no matter the real need. so they renamed it to large, gigantic and humongous.
#302273
< unrealun1verse> i sometimes wonder if theres some disease that makes you want to do your mum jokes all the time
< fbstj> whatever it is, he probably caught it off your mum :P
#46012
<turtlecrap> yeah soon the whole of irc will be flooder by shit dribbling
<Pen_Pen> turtlecrap must be lagged badly.
<Pen_Pen> Like six years.
#11177
<Gav3in> I've been in Taipei though, and holy shit does it have a big chinatown
#40269
E/a: thanks for getting back to me sara
E/a: *tip hat*
sara: hahahah hats are so pre-internet
#60134
star: if some girl sent you a text (assume that your a boy) and it said
star: "i feel like the cat who ate all the cream"
star: bearing in mind she just had a date
star: what would you think she meant?
Sophi x: i have no idea
star: well let me tell you what i sent back
star: "full of cream? i take it the date went well"
star: now she's calling me a perv :(
#11642
<Temujin> aight
<Hydrac7> it suprised me that Temujin would use "Aight"
<Hydrac7> Temujin using "aight" has crushed my will to live.
<Temujin> I live in Indiana, I have to fit in somehow.
<Temujin> I can't fake being retarded, so saying "a'ight" has to suffice.
#140596
<LoveLight> it would be cool if a woman gave birth and pushed so hard that the baby fired out of her cooter at incredible speeds, then the umbilical cord acted like a bungee cord and the baby went right back in
<AppleBoy> o_O
<AppleBoy> where the hell did that idea come from?
<LoveLight> idk
<LoveLight> an intoxicated mind
Comment: From ##physics on Freenode
#33692
<BasSCadeT> man my cat pissed on my bed the other day (this is gross) and i rolled over into it face first
#133
<Bobby20> I had this really weird dream once that I dropped my penis in the shower and I couldn't get it to go back on
#223818
< kupo> i like watching the protester videos
< kupo> but their tactics suck
< kupo> I could finally put all my years of useless turn based strategy games to use
#7432
<Orz> How old are you jennjenn?
<Orz> 12 right?
<jennjenn> 12??
<Orz> Yeah, comes after 13.
<Orz> Idiot.
#49278
<OrangeKitten> Why the fuck does a search for 'assless fursuit' bring up 'What should I wear for my job interview?'?
#146404
<Cosmo> Fox is pro war and anti good tv shows
#50435
Panther: Play Civ4 until my eyes bleed.
Panther: Then wash them out and play some more.
Xeno: ...
Xeno: =( damn all I'm gonna do is have tons of sex eat pizza and watch anime..
Panther: X.x
Panther: You win.
Xeno: ::bow::
#30749
[06:45] <Newfiebul> ok.. i'll stay connected, and could you PM me when you get home?
[06:47] <[GizMo2]> yeah
[06:47] <Newfiebul> ok thanks
* Quits: Newfiebul
[06:48] <DaCaptn> thats an awesome job of staying connected
#51619
eefstr_12: theres no fresh water where I am, we have them delivered
sze_mai: here's what you do
sze_mai: feed a couple of monkeys salt and follow them
sze_mai: you'll find a water source for sure
eefstr_12: one question, where do I get monkeys
sze_mai: dunno, I'm an expert in water, not monkeys.
#11504
<Kurt> Who would win in a fight, Batman or Jesus?
<jre> Batman
<egg> Batman
<jre> Does Jesus have a Christ-mobile or a utility belt? NO.
#31131
<juice> HEY DOES ANYONE WANT some HIGH quality pens? pens that wont fail you ever? Go to the pen island, at www.penisland.com today!
#299439
<pgp> i had an out-of-your-mom's body experience, followed by an in-your-mom's body experience, and then repeated those things in a rapid cycle
#137186
< stiv2k> so, i have to write a term paper on a 'controversial text'... any ideas? just spit them out
<JimmyDee_> satanic verses
< stiv2k> ahah
< spb> the holy bible
< stiv2k> that would be surely interesting
< fred> Novell's agreement with microsoft ¬_¬
Comment: #defocus on freenode
#8961
[T-Doo|art] when you think about evil, what pops up?
[Rosewood] Daikatana