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#310368
<hep> would anyone like to sign up for our trolling ghostwriting service?
<hep> for the busy professional who still wants to troll
<hep> you just give us your nick
<hep> and we troll as you
#47782
(TurboDttL) A mate of mine said that he could send files to me faster than ANYONE on the planet (he has something insanely fast)
(TurboDttL) So I said "bring it on"
(TurboDttL) "allright then!" says he
(TurboDttL) I said "I BET you that I can get 100 gig to you faster than you can send it to me!"
(TurboDttL) He started sending stuff over the net
(TurboDttL) I took a 200 gig drive out of my machine and drove to his house.
(TurboDttL) Never underestimate the bandwidth of a car load of mass storage.
(Broxi) hahah cheater
#88600
<tmonk> i always got confused when i was younger and saw magazines
<tmonk> where canadians have different prices
<tmonk> i questioned my father. "if we give equal rights to black people why not canadians too?"
#45988
<sEcretz> my friends who are "sleeping" now in the house screwed me
<sEcretz> they dont know i have a keylogger on
<sEcretz> and i can read that they went and signed on my email
<sEcretz> then on my msn and were like "I fuckn 0wn you biatches" and im like omg.... thats my sister!
<sEcretz> now while they are sleeping. i signed on thier email. sent messages to services@secret.gov and it was like "Im an arabian terrorist. i will bomb the internet! i have coded a /etc/bomb that will deactive in /uptime seconds! bewarn. this is the last message"
<sEcretz> that will teach them not to log on my laptop :(
<icenix> hey, doesnt that log your ip?
<sEcretz> fuck.
#27207
* jdat sees some weed grow out of whiskers's ears
<whiskers> mmmm, weed
<whiskers> that'd be leet
<whiskers> but dangerous
<whiskers> people would wait for me in dark alleys to beat me up and shave my ears
#286
<Infe> what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
<HomerJ> blows up
<Andrigaar> Don't they explode?
<Andrigaar> I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking battery acid.
<Infe> i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for 'rechargeables' and ---
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#10822
<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation, those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4 years...
#1487
<`TiGgEr`> fuck u need a dvd drive to rip dvd's thats what the program says
<`TiGgEr`> alls ya want is to put a rented dvd in to ripp it and watch it later but no u need the fuckn dvd drive
#23510
<woodss> omg
<woodss> one of our sales team sent a request for proposal to a school yesterday... he got a reply today, with all of the spelling and grammar corrections made for him.. LMAO
<Carlo> Hahaha
<woodss> there was a big red ring around one paragraph...!!
<Carlo> That's great
<woodss> I guess we didn't get the work... lol
<Carlo> Heh, one would think not
<lech> suprised you even got a response at all...
#209693
<shidobu> oh god, I feel like I'm in elementary school
<shidobu> the building management just informed us that there's going to be a firedrill on friday morning
<shidobu> and in exchange for our cooperation, there will be icecream waiting outside the building
<rumblerob> if all your coworkers have perfect attendance do they get a pizza party?
<shidobu> I can only hope
#28804
<danamania> yay I fixed my laptops battery!
<danamania> it was so dead, nothing would charge it
<danamania> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
<gelfie> don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
<danamania> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.
#305600
<liarmoose> I'm just mad 'cause I know it's irrational to get revenge by throwing up on the cat.
Comment: #lfs:1 otherworlders.org
#97516
<CTho> i really think NOAA should have called "National Weather Service" "Atmospheric Research Center" instead.
<CTho> then, you could get your weather forecasts from NOAA's ARC
#181037
<IMP`> hey guys i got a question, who remembers which way you twist a ball mouse's bottom thing so that the ball comes out?
<IMP`> is it the direction of the arrow, or opposite the arrow?
#311166
swift110 | Sup y'all
<-- | Nothing_Much (Nothing_Muc@user/Nothing-Much/x-98833468) has quit (Connection closed)
BungusMcFungus | ^
#54895
<HotStud> what i want is for you to stop screwing with my head and start screwing with my dick!
<ingenue> Okay, box it up and mail it USPS, and my girlfriend and I will give it a try.
<ingenue> Oh, wait, what size battery does it take? 'Cos I think my AA are all dead.
<HotStud> ...
<HotStud> goddam lezbo
<HotStud> you just haven't had the right man, then youd learn that there are some things a chick just can't do
<ingenue> You know, that could work for you, too...
#9057
The-ill-man- *beat kicks in* yo yo you know i be somkein some grass, tappin some ass, while rippin on bowls, and hittin on hoes
-cyanide- ur smoking weed while fucking girls while smoking weed while trying to pick up girls.. nice rap..
#4216
<pingboy> COUNTER STRIKE CURED MY PORN ADDICTION
#307532
<hegemonicon> Is there a rule34 equivalent to science fiction: "If an idea exist someone has written a sci-fi story about it"?
<dontmindme> wouldn't rule 34 contain such rule?
<hegemonicon> Ah so sort of like "What if a spaceship found a planet made of solid gold? Oh, someone wrote a story about that, also there's fucking".
<dontmindme> exactly
#223767
<Scrumps> Hm... how do you log a user out remotely?
<ShinCS> sniper rifle
#25195
<@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor and dont share any files on any p2p networks
<@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3 just like you dont want to wait an hour to upload it so lets cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place
#2171
(Reverend_) i thought i had to shit really bad
(Reverend_) but then i just farted like 3 times, and now i'm all cool
(Reverend_) but my ass is kinda wet and sticky
(Reverend_) any hot chicks, msg me, and we'll talk about it
(Reverend_) share your feelings
#29152
<luqin> senior year
<luqin> my roomate is on a job interview for sam adams
<luqin> he's on a ridealong with a sales guy
<luqin> they start talking about music
<luqin> sales guy goes
<luqin> "gwen stefani is pretty hot"
<luqin> my roomate is trying to be professional
<luqin> says "yeah she's pretty attractive"
<MadHack-> heh
<luqin> 30 seconds of silence
<luqin> sales guy goes
<luqin> "I'd eat her ass"
<dave__> HAHAHAHAHA
<MadHack-> ahahahahaha
<erobbins> HAHAHAHAHA
<russur> HAHAHAHAHA
<dave__> fuck i just spit out my lemonade
#311121
<atom_bomb> my girlfriend has been pressuring me to write a book about about my engineering methodology
<atom_bomb> (after i told her how much money the agile software alliance makes)
<atom_bomb> my methodology is essentially a longwinded justification of procrastination
<atom_bomb> it just happens to be scrum-compatible and highly effective
#302899
<Pryoidain> What are you trying to hide?
<asaph> Nothing that needs encryption, I just want it to be tricky to find.
<Pryoidain> got a separate /tmp partion?
<asaph> of course.
<Pryoidain> unmount it then copy shit to /tmp. It will actually copy it to the /tmp directory on the ROOT filesystem. then when you remount /tmp, the directory becomes a pointer, pointing to the real one, but without removing any of your files in the physical directory on the root system.
<Pryoidain> No one will ever find them unless /tmp fails to mount, or they're looking for it. even if they're looking for it, they'll see them in /tmp and assume their garbage, that is if you name them right.
<asaph> ...that's fucking genius.
<Pryoidain> I know, I've been hiding my porn under the /boot directory for about 3 years now.