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#9915
<Jag> I think I'm going to print out the Kama Sutra and label it "TFM" so I can leave it laying around work.
<Jag> Not really, but it would be terribly amusing
<ender> Jag: ROFL!
* ender ponders what the lotus position has to do with X tunneling, but honestly, after reading TFM for a couple minutes, all of a sudden I don't really care about X tunneling....
<Jag> Ahh, here's the section on tunnels... oh my.....
#4253
<FarginBoard> I tried to get AIDS once, but even those people wouldn't do it with me
#10848
<Art`> Howabout you hold your racquet like your cock?
<Saccy> You mean double-handed?
#49737
<Yrederemnul> heh, I just noticed
<Yrederemnul> M T W T F S S
<Yrederemnul> there's a 'what the fuck' in the middle of the week
#68734
<Stux> my girlfriend sent me a video
<Stux> it was of me
<Stux> wearing her skirt, top and a bra with padding
<Stux> and...until it panned up, i looked like a girl :(
<Rjx> email it ;x
<Stux> wap doesnt work
<Rjx> you know what else doesn't work?
<Rjx> your masculinity
#30091
<+Killgunner> Alb is my personal hero
<@Albatross[BTEG]> Your hero is going to go eat spaghetti and get laid
<@Albatross[BTEG]> Later
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet
#32998
<Cowboy> HI GUYS
<Cowboy> OOOPS I HAVE CAPS LOCK ON
<Cowboy> WAIT I HAVE CAPS LOCK DISABLED ON THIS MACHINE
<Cowboy> OH OOPS I"M HOLDING DOWN SHIFT
Comment: #CkB
#301013
<@pheedbaQ> proffalken: bust is unimportant, so long as they have a vagina.
< FearTheBeaker> I disagree.
< FearTheBeaker> You have to stare at teh bust more often than the vag.
<@pheedbaQ> I thinkyou mean "get to" not "have to"
< proffalken> or "compelled to by forces beyond your control"
<@pheedbaQ> And be that as it may, I can stare at women's breasts all day. But at the end of the day, I'm geting into
far fewer vaginas than breasts I'm staring at. Hell, by definition I'm getting no more than half as many
vag's as breasts I'm looking at.
<@pheedbaQ> Therefore, the breast is a relatively abundant resource, while the vag is a scarce and precious commodity.
< proffalken> like diamonds vs. uranium
<@pheedbaQ> Exactly
< FearTheBeaker> eh, sometimes you get depleted uranium.
< proffalken> better than cubic zirconium
< FearTheBeaker> that sounds painful.
<@pheedbaQ> diamonds are nice to look at, but when it comes right down to it, it's just a bunch of carbon that has
been crushed together. While uranium is harder to find, self-depletes, and it's dangerous to handle both
the source of the uranium, and the uranium itself.
<@pheedbaQ> Just like vagina.
< FearTheBeaker> in that case, use protection.
#19072
<dsif0r> that lil clip dude
<dsif0r> that microsoft uses
<dsif0r> he rules.
<quish> ...
<quish> no he doesnt
<quish> he's annoying as hell
<dsif0r> yes he does
<dsif0r> he always cares about my feelings
<dsif0r> people just treat him like shit
<dsif0r> and hes only there to help.
#23510
<woodss> omg
<woodss> one of our sales team sent a request for proposal to a school yesterday... he got a reply today, with all of the spelling and grammar corrections made for him.. LMAO
<Carlo> Hahaha
<woodss> there was a big red ring around one paragraph...!!
<Carlo> That's great
<woodss> I guess we didn't get the work... lol
<Carlo> Heh, one would think not
<lech> suprised you even got a response at all...
#310212
<Bike> When I imagine x86 I imagine a Swiss Family Robinson style treehouse, with parts continually bursting into flame underneath as they build higher and higher on the broken remnants of what they slapped together last week.
#269623
<jed> god DAMNIT what did i DO WITH IT
<jed> i packed a bowl, right here
<metallic> jed: how high are you?
<jed> i'm not
<jed> that's why i'm LOOKING FOR THE GOD DAMNED WEED
#55762
<Hayden> i met a huge redneck at school today
<Hayden> apparently a cow on his grandpas farm was giving birth
<Hayden> and the calf wouldnt come out
<Hayden> so the wrapped chains around its legs
<Hayden> and pulled it out by driving the truck
<Hayden> and broke the cows hips
<Hayden> and then shot it
<Hayden> and they named the calf jesus
<Hayden> how fucked up is that
Comment: #machogang on otherside
#59277
<simmy> Jack Bauer?
<simmy> (from 24)
<Simpleguy> Jack is a badass character. He can do anything
<|{evin> I think MacGuyver could take him
<|{evin> All he'd need is like.. some twine.. a toothbrush.. a glass of water.. and a tampon
<Simpleguy> You really need a rocket launcher to take down Jack?
#613
<truss1> it's an e10k man
<madog-> yes adduser scottx
<madog-> i dont care i just wanna run a bot from it
#2188
<AlmtyBob> god my ball-sweat smells good
<AlmtyBob> too bad I have a cold 8(
<AlmtyBob> can hardly smell it
<skmt> yeah.
<skmt> ball sweat has a weird smell.
<SD-Washu> mine fucking stinks
<AlmtyBob> it's like coffee though
<AlmtyBob> doesn't taste as good as it smells
<mdl> AlmtyBob: dude
<mdl> you taste your nutsaq sweat?
<skmt> you only need to sniff your hand after you beat it, fool.
<AlmtyBob> lets just say it's a good thing my cum smells bad
#49374
<ndonegan> arghh!! Touched a metal shelfing unit here, and a fellow walking past the office actually came in cause he saw the flash from the static shock and my body in close proximity :/
<hostyle> so you flashed some guy walking by your office?
<ndonegan> hostyle: you have a very interesting way of seeing things
Comment: seen on #linux on irc.linux,ie
#25373
(Amanda`) I think random orgasms would get old after a while
#8993
<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!
#56956
<kylie> wanking over me...... that crosses the line
<zBird> hasn't like, every guy in here done that already?
#54696
<joe`> I got overpaid $150 two weeks ago, i decided not to say anything
<joe`> now last week they UNDERPAID me $150, so I went to my manager to tell him to put it right and he comes out with "you didn't tell us when we overpaid you, did you"?
<joe`> I told him "I'll tolerate one mistake, but not two!"
#6921
<Satrina> and no, that's my friend Marissa The Nympho Elf :P
<Satrina> we put the Ho in Nympho
#2041
<Mr_Durden> no wonder superman's ship is powered by the only thing that can kill him
<Mr_Durden> it was designed by a canadian
#8919
* zebra does the menstrual blood dance
<Slvrchair> zebra: your dances scare me.
<zebra> You should see them in person.
<zebra> It could be worse.
<zebra> I could give you the menstrual blood lapdance :P
<Slvrchair> ew, no :P
#1018
(SpAc3d) i hate when [movie groups] release shitty quality stuff like TS and Cam's
(SpAc3d) its a fuckin waste of space
(mistical) like Hannibal *upsidedown cam* *real* *subtitled* *in japanesse*