Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#44863
<+Sprunk> I think the world should be run by a panel of scientists and kindergarten teachers
<+Sprunk> scientists know all the facts and kindergarten teachers know how to treat everyone fairly
#35201
<Rjx> A wise man once told me that my main flaw was that I cared too much about other people's feelings
<Rjx> ironically, I told him to fuck off
Comment: #emulation64
#307812
<ninja_warrior666> can anyone tell me how to create sodium metal?
<ninja_warrior666> or nitrocellulose?
<Schroedingers_hat> Well, it all starts with an infinitely hot singularity...
<ninja_warrior666> ...
<Schroedingers_hat> But you've gotta create some nothing first.
<Schroedingers_hat> Well, not first
<Schroedingers_hat> because you haven't created time yet.
<Schroedingers_hat> Well not yet
<Schroedingers_hat> but you get what I mean
#297312
<@FlopSter> sometimes i wonder what type of product research one does when manufacturing love dolls
#11615
::: Join: (Lehmann-work) (Lehmann@ACAFF7C7.ipt.aol.com)
<Hydrac7> Cause I love gay cock.
<Lehmann-work> That's about what I expect the first line to be when I enter #gr
#309669
<sloth> I've had vendors try and hire prostitutes for me before
<sloth> "oh, this is jennifer in sales, she'll take you out for the night" 5 hours later and a few round of drinks I realize she knew nothing about the product she was supposedly selling and hardly anything about the guy who was her boss
<sloth> I still gave her benefit of the doubt until she wanted to come up to my room
<sloth> email industry is so shady
#70479
<%spock1104> what am i, a girl?
* spock1104 looks down
<%spock1104> i don't see a vagina
<+Toba|BSD> your boobs are in the way
Comment: #wpi
#38950
<TheCommiser> my PC now has 2 UV cathodes in it
<TheCommiser> and
<TheCommiser> an on off switch for said cathodes on the front
* TheCommiser (BEST@mpx-39DBDABE.cosh.broadband.ntl.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* TheCommiser (BEST@mpx-39DBDABE.cosh.broadband.ntl.com) has joined #groan
* Chanserv sets mode: +o TheCommiser
<TheCommiser> that wasnt the cathode switch
#53573
<Ric> *points a gun* spill the beans!
<Ric> or i'll shot!
<SilentAngel> Ric
<SilentAngel> If you're gonna be threatening, at least spell it right
* SilentAngel giggles
<Elbee23> :D
<Ric> *shit
<Ric> *shoot
<Elbee23> "Or I'll get shot!"
<SilentAngel> HAHAHA
<SilentAngel> Third times the charm, hm? :D
#48908
<@hydro|> fuck drinking
<@hydro|> imho
<@sxh> word, fuck drinking
<@hydro|> people get uppity when i say that
<@hydro|> because they think i'm trying to say getting stoned makes me better
<@hydro|> and i am saying that
#16768
<QiCK> Don't I just look ravishing in my father's dress.
#297001
<chris> so a friend of mine had his senior prom on friday
<chris> and someone wanted to pay tribute to a kid that went to that school and died in a car accident
<chris> so he went to the DJ and asked to have a song dedicated to the kid
<chris> guess it was loud in the place because the DJ called the dead kid up to the DJ booth
<chris> ...the room went silent
#58208
<Corwinoid> BTW Brain, no I haven't
<WifiBrain> no you havent what?
<Corwinoid> I'm replying to the last thing you said to me
<Corwinoid> a week or so ago
<WifiBrain> i dont remember it
<Corwinoid> That I'd lost my title as the master of delayed response :P
#52268
<Sc0rian> i keep putting my fucking boxers on back to front
<Sc0rian> wtf is wrong with me
<RotoSequence> I think you want to let the cock in from the backside
#303707
<@michael`> she dated around, but then she started dating a guy i think she dug quite a bit
<@michael`> but around 22-23, schizophrenia onset
<@michael`> and he ended his life
<@Rjx> did he try to get treatment?
<@michael`> no
<@michael`> he thought people were tricking him
<@michael`> that nothing was actually wrong
<@michael`> and that his paranoia was rational
<@Rjx> well
<@Rjx> if he'd been admitted to a hospital where they watched him 24/7 and force-fed him drugs that made him fat and stupid
<@Rjx> he would've seen how wrong his paranoia was
Comment: #geekissues
#6197
<barkode:#916> i'm a fan of real time irc.
<barkode:#916> not this playing-chess-via-postal-mail-to-uzbekistan irc strategy kubla has
#1470
<isocat> onion headlines make me laugh out loud, even if i have my cock in my hand
#3452
<Blackmail> I should get a realdoll
<Blackmail> imagine me applying for a loan for that from my bank "yeah, I need a love doll"
<tobdude> LOL
<zerox> I'm sure you could get a realdoll on ebay for half the price
<Blackmail> ew, a used one
<Blackmail> and not made the way I want it either
<zerox> is this the one you want Blackmail
<zerox> http://www.realdoll.com/maledoll1.html
<aNuBiS-> hahah
<Blackmail> I want a she-he-doll
<tobdude> thats so wrong
<CanOfSpam> We're long overdue for an Oprah doll
<Blackmail> UPS won't take anything that heavy
<CanOfSpam> oh
#311440
< hydrocat> Hello, I need some insight on asyncio's run_forever()
< o11c> hydrocat: if it is correctly named, it is a limited solution for the halting problem
#10223
<luminosity> No wait... I can do better than that. they should develop a
neural connection so I can sit here and not even have to move.
<martinb> sure. Can it write this requirements spec I'm working on, too?
<luminosity> Why the hell not?
<luminosity> While it's at it it can do my homework so I can concentrate on
fun stuff.
<martinb> so get working on it!
<martinb> no, wait, recusion
<martinb> damn
#12004
<maff> AMERICA'S ARMY
<maff> defend freedom. online. with some 13 year olds.
#18346
*** Joins: YourNick (YourNick@149.99.97.000)
<YourNick> anyone here know where i can download games for kids to play
<Xama> no idea
<Dave|sleep> try www.goatse.cx
<Dave|sleep> they have a wide variety of childrens' games
<Harbish> stop doing that to people!
<YourNick> why are you so evil
<YourNick> my kids were standing right here when that page opened
<YourNick> are you happy
<YourNick> asshole
<Dave|sleep> Incredibly.
<Dave|sleep> you mean "gaping asshole", right?
*** Parts: YourNick (YourNick@149.99.97.000)
<Josh> LOL!
<Dave|sleep> I AM WIN!
<Harbish> comedy
#45937
<+optix> oh shit.
<+optix> the boss's boss's boss just walked in.
<+optix> heh.
<+optix> that was slick.
<+optix> good thing i minimised snes9x
<+abortion> what are you 'supposed' to be doing?
<+optix> i'm not sure.
<+optix> heh.
<+optix> but not getting my harvest moon character laid.
#311434
<truck> DDT was stopped by police once "why are you here"
<truck> he showed his phone playing ingress
<truck> "I am a network technician, I am scanning this area for wireless problems"
<truck> "ok then"
<truck> police drive off
#22314
(splinter) stupid vending machine...
(splinter) my first chocolate got stuck, so i figured i'd buy a second one so it would push it out
(splinter) only the second got stuck too
(@Lethy) "owned!"
(splinter) third time lucky and now i have 3 blocks of chocolate >:(