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#48657
<elrond2> 24 hour fitness is open 24 hours a day
<emitmai> at 3am they have a sign that says 'run around the block'
<emitmai> behind their closed gates
#31925
<Shloom> OMG
<Shloom> FUCK
<Shloom> I just showed this girl my wang on my webcam
<Shloom> But not only did I hear her giggle
<Shloom> but 2 other girls and a man
<Shloom> D:!
<Shloom> FUCK
#58208
<Corwinoid> BTW Brain, no I haven't
<WifiBrain> no you havent what?
<Corwinoid> I'm replying to the last thing you said to me
<Corwinoid> a week or so ago
<WifiBrain> i dont remember it
<Corwinoid> That I'd lost my title as the master of delayed response :P
#15603
*** treker has joined #ircop
<treker> what is this channel for?
<_zenon> sex channel treker
<treker> AH, I see...
<treker> well then by all means, go ahead, have fun...i'll just go run some errands.
#19970
<|King`Fisherman|> i was feeding my snake, its been a week
<|King`Fisherman|> i was fuckin with it taunting it and teasing it
<Shiv_TXS> is that a metaphor?
#297507
[+Rickmasta] What would you say is the main chinese religion?
[~knoeki] Rickmasta: opression?
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
#69717
<Djinna> i think i'm gonna make fleshy put out tonight.
<miscca> hahahah
<miscca> make him put out?
<miscca> you have not been married long enough for that missy :)
<Djinna> i'm gonna tie him to the bed and sit on his face until he makes me smile
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#21554
Motorbreath151: I love
TheOffspring326: what?
Motorbreath151: oh sorry
Motorbreath151: forgot to finnish my sentence
Motorbreath151: I-KIRJAIN lempiä ilakoida televisio kisat
Motorbreath151: there we go
TheOffspring326: what the fuck
Motorbreath151: i finnished it
Motorbreath151: stupid
Motorbreath151: finnish is a language
#309636
<@Jano> Last time I ordered pizza the delivery chick got stuck in the elevator for an hour.
<@Jano> And when she got out she told me she didn't have my pizza.
<@Jano> It was great.
<@Lorkki> did she eat it
<@Jano> No. She just didn't have it. She had the wrong stuff.
<@Jano> They hadn't even made it.
#83178
Rs Conqueror: dude
Xenocidaltendncy: hey whatup
Rs Conqueror: "sum up your sex life using star wars quotes"
Xenocidaltendncy: ...
Rs Conqueror: "you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short"
Xenocidaltendncy: young fool... only now, at the end, do you understand
Rs Conqueror: "how're we doing kid?" "same as always.." "that bad huh?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "if money is all you want, then that's what you'll get"
Rs Conqueror: "Ten thousand?? We could buy our own ship for that!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "these aren't the droids you're looking for"
Rs Conqueror: "I don't care what you smell, just get in there you big lug!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "going in at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
Rs Conqueror: "No luke... I am your father"
Xenocidaltendncy: "and now, princess, we will discuss the location of your rebel base" *thwrum thwruuum thwruuuuum*
Rs Conqueror: "judge me by my size do you?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Yeah, but this time I've got the money"
Rs Conqueror: She may not look like much, but "she's got it where it counts, kid."
Rs Conqueror: "I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
Xenocidaltendncy: "I've got a feeling I'm never going to see her again"
Rs Conqueror: "and I thought these things smelled bad... on the outsde"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it"
Rs Conqueror: "You're not actually going INTO an asteroid field...!!!"
Rs Conqueror: "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"
#11042
(@MpTaNk) today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
#61194
<code> i'm not wearing any pants.
<mittens> I've been drinking for almost seven straight hours!
<Syntacs> The last two lines are a recipe for disaster.
#34146
<Valek> Life sucks, I hope I get drunk this weekend.
<WzL> life sucks
<WzL> and it don't even swallow
<Valek> Yeah but if your lucky you find a girl who does, then life doesn't suck anymore.
<WzL> But if yer unlucky she lives in another country
<Valek> And if your really unlucky shes a guy.
<Valek> And if your really fucked
<Valek> She has a bigger penis then you
#1487
<`TiGgEr`> fuck u need a dvd drive to rip dvd's thats what the program says
<`TiGgEr`> alls ya want is to put a rented dvd in to ripp it and watch it later but no u need the fuckn dvd drive
#11222
e l i t e m r p (11:56:26 PM): 80 dagrees 95% humidity
Tom McFarlin 4 (11:56:50 PM): yesterday it was 90 deg and 90humidity here
Tom McFarlin 4 (11:56:53 PM): so i can relate
e l i t e m r p (11:57:47 PM): yeah but im wearing a 300 pound suit of lard
#12055
<fecolalia> i try and be humble
<fecolalia> but I KNOW MORE THAN YOU
<fecolalia> SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP
#16708
<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf
#11923
<Rann-chan> 0123.
<Rann-chan> Er, sorry. ^^;
<Reddjango> at least we know you can count to 3 ^_^
<Gary> And like a C programmer, too. :)
<Rann-chan> Of course I can. That's the number of guys a girl can take without using her hands, right? n.n
#60519
<dekkon> i just got gas for $2.58
<Rjx> he bought mexican food
Comment: #geekissues
#305289
<dr_jkl> I HAVE A THREE DAY WEEKEND AND A SOLDERING IRON.
<dr_jkl> i am going to have so much fun. :D
#50821
<Pashoshon> Hey, do you know when n00b hunting days are?
<Lukian> When?
<Pashoshon> Any day ending with 'y'.
<Lukian> Well, then forget about tomorrow.
<Pashoshon> At least we've got today! :P
#19485
<stu> i literally just had good sex
<stu> my cock is still wet
<clay> and to the internet you go
#62507
xTedHeadx: GNAAAAHHH CAT ON BACK
xTedHeadx: CATS ARE SHARP
#54703
MofattP: bleh, I'm fighting a sinus infection. My snot looks like a fruit loops commercial
MofattP: Green Mucus!
MofattP: Yellow Chunks!
MofattP: Red Streaks!
MofattP: Follow your nose!
MofattP: If it had marshmellow suprises, I could market my snot as a breakfast cereal.
#17373
<LoRdZephyR> i cant swim
<roboman20> i thought only people with down syndrome couldnt swim
<LoRdZephyR> WELL YOUR WRONG WHORE
* roboman20 hands zeph a chromosome