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#28453
<Lestat> Fuck these ping timeouts.
<Lestat> Fuck them right in the ear.
<Oolong> ear sex = safe sex
#26376
<pupazz_> What American Pie Has Taught Us : No need to date if your mother bakes pie.
#42219
<tJmarshal> heh so hes like "you interested in a best buy card?" and in all "no ive got one" and he all comes back with "oh yeah? whats the number? ill punch it in"
<northdeer> rofl you got pwned then hun
<tJmarshal> mom, dont ever use that term again. please.
Comment: www.tcts.ws, #teenchat, Undernet
#19710
SpinalArchitect: OMG WUT R U GAY?
cochese04: Naw, I just sleep with guys to remind myself of how much I hate it
#294673
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words
#61053
Kat: They should make a NetFlicks for books!
Cassandra: they do
Cassandra: its called the library
#4351
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.
#38330
<Logik> LMFAO
<Logik> this is great
<Logik> listen up guys
<Logik> one of the hits on my website..
<Logik> os: windows 2000
<Logik> browser: explorer 6
<Logik> referer: www.search4hardcore.com
<Logik> hostname: Â library2.sagu.edu
<Nitron> o_0
<Logik> sagu = southwestern assembly of god university
#10480
<Encapsulate> So
<Encapsulate> I was going to say you should name thechild the next word I
heard over the cube walls.
<Encapsulate> Unfortunatly, the next word I heard was "Auschwitz"
#15733
<FlashMan> nethack is installed
<Jon2> An IRC chick stands in your path. She wears a +5 ring of decreased mental stability.
* sQurl kicks jon2
<sQurl> I AM STABLE GOD DAMN YOU
<sQurl> DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU
<Jon2> The IRC chick attacks. She misses.
#245926
<azn_jesus> also, I think I won at oktobervfest
<azn_jesus> I'm not sure what I won but I have some chick's stockings on my pants
<azn_jesus> scratch that, I seem to be in her car
<azn_jesus> I think she's telling me we're going to my place
<azn_jesus> yup, at my place now
<azn_jesus> passing out now, brb
Comment: #bifemunix EFNet
#49442
<LOAF> So, I'm out back in the alley
<LOAF> I figure I'm alone, right
<LOAF> And it's completely dark
<LOAF> And I see a tiny round silhouette on the ground
<LOAF> Now, we've all been there: is it a coin or is it a splotch?
<LOAF> Do you bend over or don't you? What do you do? You have literally nanoseconds to figure it out.
<LOAF> But it was dark, damned dark, so the call was all the much harder.
<LOAF> And my brain gave the final instructions: coin, go for it, assume it is a coin.
<LOAF> And so I did.
<LOAF> And it was.
<LOAF> Which made me ever so pleased with myself
<LOAF> Which made me decide to do a little hop-and-spin and hold the coin up in the air
<LOAF> Which I did
<LOAF> And as I spun around and put the coin up in the air, there was a homeless guy digging through the dumpster, now staring at me.
<LOAF> And he clapped.
<LOAF> I offered him the coin, but he said I'd earned it.
#4328
<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?
#302416
Vasir: What's tuberculosis?
Psi: A lung disease
Vasir: Ohh, I thought it was an std
Psi: lol, no, it's transferred by coughing, sneezing, stuff like that
Vasir: I thought its when your dick is clogged
Psi: ...
Vasir: ...
Vasir: Is there a disease fitting that description?
Psi: God, I hope not...
#5784
<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.
#104113
<Opef> Bahh, screw you, free speech-to-text software.
<Opef> How the fuck does "hair straighteners" sound like "whore stranglers" anyway?
#261856
<Bobsentme> So, at work, HR decided to put up signs with some of the classic monsters (Frankenstein, The Mummy, Wolfman, etc) and slogans like "You'll get wrapped up in reading blah, blah, blah" and "Reading is electrifying" for halloween
<Bobsentme> Well, apparently, they also decided to put up, on the wall outside the cafeteria a whole timeline of GLBT contributions throughout history
<Bobsentme> GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered.
<Bobsentme> So, as I'm walking down the hall, I look over at the GLBT wall, not really paying a lot of attention, until I get to the end...
<Bobsentme> Where someone had placed one of the HR halloween signs, with the Boogeyman on it, that read "Have you checked YOUR closet lately?"
#7888
<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/
#13541
<MartinBr> LOOK AT MY IDLE!!!
<MartinBr> Uh.... d'oh!
#5942
<DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.
#13458
<psychicbug> I'm gonna find some third world country, and punch a store owner in the face
<psychicbug> he's gonna start swearing at me in some fucked up language
<psychicbug> and if I like any of the words I hear, I'll make it my new nick since this one sucks
#2168
<Miko> hey i don't remember them dropping food on NYC when they crashed into the WTC
#16237
<MadHack-> i net 4200
<MadHack-> whereas i gross 6,666.66
<MadHack-> give or take
<MadHack-> quite the beastly salary
<MadHack-> 666 666 :(
<MadHack-> well, .67 i guess, technically
* MadHack- saves his soul through rounding
#28526
<+nPHo> no.life = this is what you have if you are looking at this.
<smcn> haw i didn't look at it
#142213
<Orkie> it was pointed out to me earlier that i don't actually swallow a lot of the time when drinking anything :S
<Orkie> i'd never really noticed it before but even when i just have water i just tip the thing straight down my throat!
<Duo> Orkie: you'll make some man very happy one day.