Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#8544
<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?
#1821
<kisama_> i've been quaking so much lately
<kisama_> that when i close my eyes
<kisama_> i see quad damage
<D1> I see naked men.
#300469
* bendertiger has quit IRC (Quit: )
* KaylaKitsune has quit IRC (Quit: Cut the chain of lies, I've been beating and beating and beating myself)
* Sypress has quit IRC (Quit: When two people dream the same dream, it-OMGWTFBBQ)
<zeta> The three styles of quit messages.
<zeta> The simple quit, The emo quit, and the lol quit.
#30669
<Smith> why the fuck do you name your pen0rs
<Chronic> lol
<Chronic> hey baby wanna come back to my place and play with doody
#44255
somebody124: so... wes and his parents are gonna be gone all weekend....
somebody124: he has an unsecured wirless network.....
somebody124: are you thinking what im thinking?
putdownthestick: we should steal his car!!!
#30648
<MikeH> mike@thor:/usr/local/subway > ./configure --prefix=/root/stomach --sandwich=sweet-onion-chicken-tariyaki --length=footlong --bread=italian-herbs-and-cheese --with-onions --with-lettuce --with-pickles --with-tomatos --with-jalapeno-peppers --with-banana-peppers --with-mustard --with-mayonnaise --with-sweet-onion-sauce
<MikeH> make
<MikeH> make install
Comment: Im...sooo...hungry...
#939
<|Chris> yeah weather bug is bloatware and has a lame gui with banner ads
<Guilty> It's the AOL of weather reporting
<|Chris> actually guilty, i think aol has it's own weather reporting
<|Chris> aol time warner can probably make their own fucking weather
<|Chris> bastards
#296048
* SaxxonPike beats you to death with quantum theory... maybe
#782
<MadHatter> I just got this spam:
<MadHatter> READY TO BREAK YOUR
<MadHatter> NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS??
<MadHatter> "I'm not gonna look at HARDCORE PORN anymore."
<MadHatter> "I won't GAMBLE ONLINE anymore."
<MadHatter> "I'm gonna JUST SAY NO."
#37115
(fleet) I once, accidentally, called my GF porky in bed. That didn't go down too well.
(soda) fleet are you serious! did you mean it? lol
(fleet) well...she did have the same kind of fat content as several buses full of obese people.
#2379
(rageboy) id tell you to put my box in the topic so i could sell shells but its not static ip and only 28.8 connection
(rageboy) and im in windows right now
#51577
<Theropissed> Hey tuqui
<Theropissed> I enlisted.
<Tuqui-tuqui> yes vash :D
<Tuqui-tuqui> schweet!
<Tuqui-tuqui> you have server IP?
<Theropissed> ...
<Theropissed> as in
<Theropissed> joined the army.
<Theropissed> ...
<Tuqui-tuqui> oh...
Comment: #cainslair, etg
#304896
<red_delicious> slenderbot, you're growing up so fast!
<SlenderBot> I'LL PREPARE A HUNDRED COFFINS.
#154996
<sungo> I love resumes.
<sungo> Folks, fucking proofread your resumes.
<sungo> This guy has been a web developer since Aug 2997
<cat-xeger> sungo - novel...
<drforr> I didn't know they will have had web in 2997...
<sungo> if we still have php in 2997, I'm setting off the nukes RIGHT NOW
#39055
<DreamDemon> i got an awesome Bon Jovi/Vanilla Ice remix
<DreamDemon> weird i know but its really good
<MeRCedEs> i love those mixes
<DreamDemon> Living on a prayer
<MeRCedEs> mashups
<ct> where's the puke icon when you NEED it?
#6954
<glasnost> i just talked to some girls on this hall.
<glasnost> they're like, female and stuff.
#11701
<Lt Hawkins> someone from 127.0.0.1 keeps trying to hack me!
<Podex> You should send them a virus to destroy their computer!!!!!!
#297802
<John> i would really appreciate it if you would stop IMing my girlfriend.
<DevXen> i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
#14442
<harb> I wanna sleep. Forever.
<Danelope> Yeah.
<Danelope> Where is cryogenics when you need it?
<Danelope> "Wake me up in 50 years. Everyone I know will be dead."
<harb> There's this CryoLife company here that was hiring a sysadmin.
<harb> But they didn't email me back.
<Danelope> Hahah.
<harb> I was hoping that'd be part of the benefits package...
<Danelope> <harb> I was grabbing the latest debian pkg when something hung.
<Danelope> <harb> And now all of the coolant systems are down. And the pods are starting to melt.
<Danelope> <harb> ...
<Danelope> <harb> Fux0r.
<harb> hahaha
<Danelope> * harb runs away.
#4460
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a pee-pee. They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET" BEFORE LEAVING. Flush toilet was in parentheses. So I assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#2339
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.
#40657
< kitt> i'm trying to install linux for the first time
< kitt> but i can't find the setup.exe, any help
#304546
<+wubbson> When I was 7 I wanted to be a paraplegic but then I realized professor X didn't get his powers from being in a wheelchair
#5027
<iban> uhoh
<iban> its 5am
<iban> about time for my morning wood
#31151
<ssx> Saddam's just been captured
<hoes> My dad! I cant find my dad! My god!