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#27263
Feixeno356: blah blah can swim well blah blah blah, accuracy is good blah blah blah blah me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me :takes a breath: me me me me me oh me me me me I jack off to a picture of myself, me me me me me me me.
Dr SpaZZo: What the fuck?
Dr SpaZZo: You can swim?
#53174
<nsasch> I don't do sports. I fly.
<lucas> i do that too
<nsasch> airplanes?
<lucas> LSD
Comment: irc.vaccus.com / #main
#30148
seanpark37: whats that bash.cx thing?
Jabba2442: its a site dedicated to funny/stupid chatlogs
seanpark37: oh
Jabba2442: no relation to goatse
seanpark37: lol
seanpark37: thats what i was afraid of
#110372
<Beastage> notice how life and fail have same letters?
Comment: irc.neowin.net, #neowin
#224012
<psypete> ok, so i have a question
<psypete> fellow geohashers
<psypete> is there any prize or accomplishment for geohashing in a hurricane?
<joannac|reallyAsleep> a darwin award
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#3111
(Brodie) If I go see a doctor and tell him I can't maintain an erection, will he give me Viagra?
(Brodie) I need viagra for my paln
(Samadhi) He may check you though
(Samadhi) Like give you a HJ to make sure you're telling the truth
(Brodie) Sweet
(Brodie) This is win win
#26426
<Epi> God, whats that word where a chick is sorrounded by like 50 guys?
<Kharnifex> bukkake
<ArcaneMagik> Epi: engineering degree?
<Kharnifex> otherwise it's lekemba
<[L]o[L]> its the number one source of protein for women under 20 in japan
<bobbles> 1 chick for 50 guys
<bobbles> its a LAN
#10846
<Saccy> My password is alpha numeric.
<Strife> Well mine's a mixture of numbers AND letters.
#16543
<Pest> i was talking to a gurl at school
<Pest> her name was nicole
<Koen> heh :)
<Pest> she was like how are you doing today
<Pest> i went
<Pest> well im alright..but id be better if someone named nicole was slobbing my knob
<Koen> rofl
<Koen> :(
<Pest> she smacked me
<Pest> :/
#20987
[21:13] (@KOLDSTARE): I was informed this is a rich part of town
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): wore my leather jacket to dinner and I got stared at
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): its not like I ripped it off a cow and stuck a zipper on it
#11630
<bumjock> man I need a hobby
<bumjock> legal this time
<bumjock> none of that "registering as a sex offender" hobbies
<bumjock> Its kind of freaky every time I move to a new town every knows what I look like and who I am before I get there
#7005
<Rikhei> I am *not* a pricktease
<K`shandra> oh - you follow through. Okay. ;-)
#37606
<iSsuEs> god.. fucking email spammers
<iSsuEs> i block html images
<iSsuEs> they send ascii art
#32732
<slygirl> Ogg is such a weird name... next thing you know, people will be ripping their music in poo format.
* hen-neko-zzz starts working on the format right away
* slygirl imagines RIAA officials denouncing the sharing of ".poo" files.
<carpboy> it would be awesome
<carpboy> to listen to poo
<hen-neko-zzz> man, burn me a cd of poos
<ChibiShin> hehe
<Fireye> Mmm, poo
<slygirl> "Hi, I'm one of those kids that was persecuted for downloading .poo off the internet. Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm STILL gonna download .poo off the internet."
<BoogiepopLain> And when you share .poo files, popular slang would be "Slinging .poo"
<SaturnPrince> That must be some crappy stuff
Comment: EsperNet #AnimeDVD
#117
<CrazyDe> some dude on ebay is threatening to sue me for copyright infringement
<Guilty> Did you claim to be the Real Slim Shady?
#1667
(iSONEWS) [iSONEWS] Update in DivX: My Life *CLASSIC* released by MEDiAMANiACS (49 files, 08/12/2001) www.isonews.com/r/?155D256CD=
(`Thunder) whoa
(`Thunder) they released my life
(`Thunder) how did they tape all that?!
(madman`) no way!! stop lying! it's MY LIFE!!
(runner-) either way its gonna be boring
#295012
<hitmonchee> someone was talking about mice the other day and they mentioned that they hibernate
<hitmonchee> and I thought "how the fuck can an animal hibernate"
<hitmonchee> then I realised that they didn't mean saving the RAM to disk and shutting down
#306654
<myself> white castle has toroidal chicken
<myself> Cheerios for breakfast, chicken rings and a bagel for lunch
<myself> pineapple and calamari for dinner, donut for dessert
<myself> a well-rounded diet
#64256
(+wolrah) I need to get a job building fire extinguishers.
(+wolrah) I just realized the greatest way to say "I quit"
(+wolrah) Fill them with gasoline
#306411
-*- StoneCypher just found out that one of his favorite and one of his least favorite pieces of software are basically made by the same guy :(
<StoneCypher> PrinceXML and Opera.
<StoneCypher> i mean seriously, it's like finding out that hitler also saved eight million people from an asteroid
#216997
<Shii> ethane, mcdonalds can be a fun and rewarding job
<Shii> to get fired from
<Cpl_Ethane> Shii: I worked there, over uhm
<Cpl_Ethane> 15 years ago
<Cpl_Ethane> and I got fired
<Shii> what for?
<Cpl_Ethane> shii: you know those paper burger king crowns that BK used to hand out? I showed up to work wearing one
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#8074
<Q-Ball> Average Ejaculatory Speed
<Q-Ball> 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr).
<Q-Ball> you could kill a small mammal with that
#311632
<Danika> hmph, Twitter thought one of my tweets was considered "suicidal" or something
<StriderHLC> The hellsite strikes again
<Danika> yeah I said something like "I wish my parents never had me"
<StriderHLC> "We suspect you may be suicidal. We are locking your account to remove you from your support network as a courtesy."
#45553
<DosBubba> Growth in confusing graphs on the Internet, 1989-2005:
<DosBubba> =====75
<DosBubba> ========80
<DosBubba> ===========80
<DosBubba> ========75
Comment: #main @ irc.dosbubba.com