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#265040
(floorislava) i'm going to start sleeping on the floor
(FlyingMariachi) but the floor is lava
(floorislava) OH SHIT
#2793
* FlipMeign is HELLA STRAIGHT
* CaliSean is STRAIGHTER
<soupking> straight? so's spaghetti till u heat it up.
#28817
* +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double
* +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut
* +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire
* +politik corrupts ramoth's heap
* +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory
* +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack
* +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins to operate on nil pointers
* +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room
* +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block
* +politik cuts off ramoth's private member
* +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class
* +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate derived classes!
* +politik is out of ideas
* +politik :: ~politik();
* +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace!
<+ramoth4> I win!
* +ramoth4 beat C++.
<+ramoth4> The last guy was hard.
Comment: -- #flipcode @ irc.enterthegame.com
#302146
ec> I thought you were bringing your lazy butt to work today
kj> yeah i changed my mind
ec> what are we going to do with all this "Welcome Back!" cake
kj> depends whether you want to keep the stripper inside alive or not
#14374
<@jaffy> how the fuck does my moniter get so dirty, its like some cunt eats his meals off it while im asleep
#1482
::: .signoff@7.55p> jadel (jadel@h24-70-154-3.wp.shawcable.net); User abortion with 5 coathooks
#3456
<jstepka-w> she said to me 'we need a few months off'
<Flav> "a few months? sweet, that'll let me run through the bitches on my TODO list"
#52744
<Nanuq> Steakk: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy, B: A pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: A large properly formatted data file?"
<Steakk> Nanuq: depends...whats in the data file?
#46201
Imperialism32: You know what I just noticed
Imperialism32: Nothing ever fucking happens in South America
Imperialism32: Seriously
Imperialism32: when was the last time you heard about ANYTHING from there?
Imperialism32: I usually forget it exists until I play Risk
#295912
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired. One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines. Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it. Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone. Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games. There's something in there called "Purring Kitten". It makes the phone vibrate continuously. Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now...
#160532
<+allie> I always let my son stay home whenever he wanted to, so he didn't have to ever try to fake an illness.
<+allie> He loved school. It was always a big social event for him.
<+allie> Whenever I had to go somewhere to pick him up from something, all I ever had to do was look for where the big crowd was because he'd always be in the center of it.
<+wrong> selling drugs?
#1471
<isocat> feasting meant a lot more when people were hungrier, i guess
#10380
<@cloudchild> if i wanted to drink the blood from a horned creature, i would've went after bob dole
<@DarkDread> I just thought those were really large ears.
<@cloudchild> nope horns. and he hides his tail well...but you can see his hoofed feet if the camera angle is right
<@cloudchild> "I'm bob dole! i kill virgins and drink the blood of the pope!"
<@DarkDread> what's so bad about that?
<@cloudchild> nothin.
#29696
<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud
#24382
<Zone-MR> Nope, but my gayfever is killing me
<Zone-MR> OMFG, Damn. Why did the QUERTY designer have to place the 'G' next to the 'H' :'(
#60850
<[Lawnhorn]> man, that sucked
<[Lawnhorn]> got a knock on my door
<[Lawnhorn]> and two of my flatmates were there
<[Lawnhorn]> holding, on a plate, the pie I put in the oven at 12:40pm
<[Lawnhorn]> it could now be described as "ethnic"
#9101
<Hiryuu> "War, the musical!"
<Ten> "With Sean Connery as Iraq!"
#7994
< BigBadGangsta> I swear, I need to write a book called "Stupid shit for stupid fucks"
<@mewse> by a retard, for retards
#36918
<GLC> I saw this banner... with a chick saying "do you want to meet me?"
<GLC> and there was a "yes" button and a "no" button
<GLC> I clicked "no"
<GLC> and it took me to an IQ test website
<GLC> wtf
#16886
<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do
#281910
<Gregabyte_> huh... apparently the mayor of Birmingham has been arrested for corruption
<Gregabyte_> and the city is on the edge of bankruptcy
* brimstone turns on the bat sign
<I-MOD> nice....
<MrWorld> Yeah, Alabama Batman is great. The Bat-truck really hauls ass
<Gregabyte_> his arch nemeses include the Possum, Literacy Man, and the Dentist
<MrWorld> And don't forget Alabama Joker
<MrWorld> he may be just a pig in a bunch of clown makeup, but he's still a formidable opponnent
#32301
<ig3l|Guel> If Osama B. isn't in Afghanistan, and if he isn't dead, we believe he is in another country" - US army General
#33992
<Calmino> my father purchased a mule
<leah^-^> heh
<Jagfire> this is me caring: asdfgh123
<Jagfire> this is me not caring: zxcvbn321
<Jagfire> and this is me right now: zxcvbn321
#32944
<JustAGirl> did i miss something here?
<KArmA-> were you sleeping?
<KArmA-> is your ass sore?
<JustAGirl> no on both counts
ð LabMonkey hides the vacuum hose
<KArmA-> then no
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#2796
(pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it