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#297824
< RichiH> my newest addition the the list of things You Don't Do Using Your Laptop As Workbench:
< RichiH> clean your multi-tool with lighter fluid
< RichiH> in related news, lighter fluid turns the black plastic of a thinkpad x31 white-ish
#1701
<Camo> tress, how do I make a program that makes the cd spin really fast and does't stop and if you open the cdrom drive, the cd flies out and cuts your throat?
#28717
<B_Goodin> Self deprecation is always amusing
<B_Goodin> :-/
<B_Goodin> and so is farting
<Mark> especially when you light them
<B_Goodin> KABOOM!
<-- eric has quit (Ping timeout)
<Mark> You blew Eric off the channel!
#16589
<azrael69> <----retarded
<madman`> true---^
<FlipMo> azrael69: pics plz
#8343
Valvados (~Draco@12.21.190.1957) is now known as Valv|Nekkid
<Valv|Nekkid> My roommate is giving me the strangest look.
#305502
<inetknght> uhhh, oops
<inetknght> i was fucking around with ipv6 settings on my work's server and accidentally disabled ipv4 on it
<inetknght> ...without ipv4, i have zero method of remoting in to fix that so that the point-of-sale systems still function
<inetknght> suppose i still have remote access to another machine on the network... any idea how to remote in through link-local ipv6 to re-enable that shit so i dont get a call tomorrow morning?
* ~Genesis2001 prepares coffee for inetknght
<~Genesis2001> you'll need it :v
#306314
<OctopusRainbows>today i exposed myself for jello shots
<OctopusRainbows>just got back from gay weekend at the beach
<ME-tan>fabulous
<OctopusRainbows>there were "shots 4 hooters" and "shots 4 cocks" signs. i took advantage of both. the guys with the shots for cock sign were very very confused
<ME-tan>bwahahaha
<OctopusRainbows>poor gay guys. they did not want to see girlcock XD
<Ling>wat
<OctopusRainbows>haha exactly
Comment: Transgender support channel...
#34730
<SubLimeR> thank god for neighbors
<SubLimeR> i was watching tv a few hours earlier and i fell asleep
<SubLimeR> the kids came home from school and i had the door locked
<SubLimeR> and i didn't hear it because i'm a really heavy sleeper, and i wake up and i yell "OMG WHERE ARE THE KIDS?!"
<SubLimeR> so i call next door to ask if they've seen them and my buddy's wife says, "yeah dipshit you locked your god damn kids out"
Comment: ah the simple joys of parenting
#114234
<RadGoosed> I read "capslock" as a "cockslap" what does that say about me as a human being
#5522
<lerk> yeah, fat girls are fun sometimes
<lerk> especially doggie style
<fate-> slap em and ride the waves
#304300
<DayNine> Fractal alligators.
<DayNine> Like a normal alligator, but instead of arms, there are more alligators.
#2773
<michael-> Complaint : Seller won auction but did not send payment
<michael-> Response by mike@soupernova.com - son was killed in a car crash, extremely insensitive and impatient seller
#49442
<LOAF> So, I'm out back in the alley
<LOAF> I figure I'm alone, right
<LOAF> And it's completely dark
<LOAF> And I see a tiny round silhouette on the ground
<LOAF> Now, we've all been there: is it a coin or is it a splotch?
<LOAF> Do you bend over or don't you? What do you do? You have literally nanoseconds to figure it out.
<LOAF> But it was dark, damned dark, so the call was all the much harder.
<LOAF> And my brain gave the final instructions: coin, go for it, assume it is a coin.
<LOAF> And so I did.
<LOAF> And it was.
<LOAF> Which made me ever so pleased with myself
<LOAF> Which made me decide to do a little hop-and-spin and hold the coin up in the air
<LOAF> Which I did
<LOAF> And as I spun around and put the coin up in the air, there was a homeless guy digging through the dumpster, now staring at me.
<LOAF> And he clapped.
<LOAF> I offered him the coin, but he said I'd earned it.
#51901
<Canadian> so then
<Canadian> parts guy was like
<Canadian> cdn you want to see a naked pic of my wife
<Canadian> and I was like sure if you want to see my home made scat porn
<Canadian> and thats how the rcmp came to my house and put me in jail
<hydrok> canadian
<hydrok> i have one question for you
<Canadian> i had beer for breakfast
<hydrok> ok answered
#7840
ð Zibblsnrt simply wants food (there's /none/ in the house ATM) .. ponders
making a pizza run or something
<rob`> zib; isn't halifax still under a few meters ice?
<Zibblsnrt> rob: And?
<Zibblsnrt> :)
<rob`> is there a tunnel network or something?
<Zibblsnrt> rob: No, we simply float atop it because we're just that suave
#29913
< Diluted> Could someone please explain to me what a unix admin is without being sarcastic?
#52076
<@SenReading> omg
<@SenReading> customer just called me over
<@SenReading> shes trying to look at her bank statement
<@SenReading> and there pops up about 3 fucking windows of porn
<@SenReading> which means my net nanny is fucked up
<@SenReading> my god
<@SenReading> i hope she has a sense of humour
<@SenReading> or a lesbian fetish :S
Comment: #sonata_arctica Austnet
#43
<Dr_DOS> Tupac Shakur sounds like a Protoss name.
#92689
<Therrol> I just send something to robyn that I did not mean to
<Allison> well depending on what it is it may not matter
<Allison> or it really could result in a mess..
<Therrol> I told her I was going to kill her and have sex with her eyesockets
<Allison> every time that goes through my head it just gets worse
#308591
<peacetwin> i'm going to start an official political organization for masculine gay men
<Wooshey_> The Republican Party?
Comment: #gaymers @ irc.rizon.net
#58122
<suprpupy> haha, mom's at the store. I just get through telling her we have nothing in the house and she starts down the list "do you have this? do you have this?".
<suprpupy> mom. we have nothing in the house.
<CPng|N> "we don't eat"
<suprpupy> heh, we don't cook is more accurate
<suprpupy> or at least, not what mom likes to cook.
<ReNtZ> I read that as "or at least not what mom likes cock"
<suprpupy> ReNtZ: normally I'd laugh. but since this is my mom I'm horrified at the mental image.
<Eigenstat> Do you ever wonder if your husband has thought about fucking your mom, so he'll know what you're like in 30 years?
* suprpupy tries to claw her mental eyes out
Comment: EFnet, #ampedout
#1552
<ckx> when i worked at the sub shop
<ckx> whenever a fat person would get a sub and a regular pepsi
<ckx> i'd be like "umm wouldn't you rather have a diet pepsi?"
<ckx> and they'd get all offended
<skmt> haha
<ckx> but they'd still get the diet pepsi instead
#171657
< evitable> i always rather liked badminton
< evitable> except for the time i hit a shuttlecock into a tree
< evitable> then lost a racket trying to get it out
< evitable> lost a rake tryin to get the racket
< evitable> and lost a fucking 2x4 trying to get anything
< evitable> then ruined my pants with sap
#41188
<Shadda> So, Like
<Shadda> I'm watching this thing on PBS last night
<Shadda> about this guy who used to be on the bomb squad
<Shadda> Got his arms blown off from the elbow and down
<Shadda> both arms
<Shadda> and they're saying, 10 years later, a radical new procedure is possible
<Shadda> a double arm transplant
<Shadda> Then they get all serious
<Shadda> and the narator goes
<Shadda> "The only catch...the arms must come from a dead person."
<Shadda> like, wtf
<Shadda> Where else would they come from?
<rworks> I volunteer!
<Shadda> "Sorry, sir. It seems you've been taking your arms for granted. Excessive masturbation and constant ass picking. We feel that this man, who has served his country, deserves them more."
<Shadda> *Chink!*
#15870
<dabblerblue> i hate pants that are only comfortable when you're standing :(
<nzc> so takem off
<dabblerblue> i can't, i'm about to go out
<dabblerblue> i put them on so i could leave without being arrested
<dabblerblue> i hate that