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#14408
<brak> hey bro, heard you were...cooking
<Time> fire engines gave it away?
#39844
<+Demanther> your fired
<@Alien> you're
<@Jimstang> hahahaha the forener is correcting the American on english
<@Alien> foreigner
Comment: Jimstang's the American too :)
#58023
<ahanix1989> I'm two people short of a threesome :(
#56001
< wernicus> everyone on irc is male until proven otherwise
#297660
<ambulance> so I have an amusing trojan that opens a command prompt ever 12 hours and links me to 'macho man' on youtube
<ambulance> I think I'll keep it
#34358
* NeoMatrix goes outside to hump an oak tree
<Shavnir> Thanks for the bash quote Neo
<NeoMatrix> Sure thing, anytime.
<Cally> thats only a 11 year old oak neo, thats statutory tree rape
<NeoMatrix> The younger, the better.
<NeoMatrix> It hurts like hell when I hit a knot... :/
#6951
<glasnost> i didn't have a life.
<glasnost> i had a BBS.
#5320
<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders
#56166
<Darien> I love my job
<Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
<Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
<Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
<Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'
#27226
<Dilbert> i've got an idea that would help artists from having their music pirated
<Dilbert> instead of naming all their
<Dilbert> songs
<Dilbert> just give them a number
<Dilbert> like 1, 2, 3 so on
<Dilbert> and if everyone does that
<Dilbert> nobody online will be able to find the songs they are looking for
<Dilbert> or something
<Dilbert> i dont know
<Dilbert> forget i said anything
#82688
Robin: goats eat their placentas
Pan Man 120: i actually could have lived without knowing that
Robin: so do some people
Pan Man 120: efuckingw
Pan Man 120: heres an idea robin
Pan Man 120: why dont we talk about kittens
Robin: cats have barbed dicks
#29108
<BlueFlash> We need to get Mike a girlfriend whose name doesn't end in .jpg
#32703
<Rjx> <Rjx> hi new graphics card, I'll just put you in
<Rjx> <gfxcard> HAHA BITCH NOW I CAN CORRUPT YOUR REGISTRY AND MAKE YOUR COMPUTER REFUSE TO BOOT
Comment: #geekissues
#210939
< Lapkawitz> and you can tell she's really japanese becase her genitals produce a forcefield that pixelates the air around them
#24907
<Nimitz> if a tree falls on a lumberjack, and there's no-one else there, does he make a sound?
<will> "Oof."
#33388
<+Frosty_theoz> if being a nerd was a religion, bash would be a cathederal
#7056
<Dracleath> You know, its disturbing how much the frosting for dominos cinnamon sticks looks like semen
#73760
<+psych0sys> as long as your farts dont smell like vasoline youre golden
<@Spirilis> what if they do?
<+psych0sys> means jk0s been watching you sleep
#37639
<ASM57> wtf
<ASM57> I called a store and asked if they had CoolerMaster Aero 7 Lite
<ASM57> and the guy is like "thats a microphone right?"
<Bog> lol
<Bog> everyone knows it's a sound card
#1916
-PDC:#windowsnt- MCSE = Must Consult Someone Experienced
(L0ki) MCSE=Mindsweeper Consultant and Solitare Expert
(nexxai) MCSE = Must Consult (with) Someone Else
#37688
<Naked> I like my Motorola phone because it has a rocketship function. On a full charge I can make it to the moon.
<Naked> Top that north. :P
<mrk> mines so small it makes good for foreplay
<mrk> phone ¬_¬
Comment: #futuremark
#73869
<GuyBridge> My mom wont let me get the wii because she thinks I might use the controller as a vibrator or something
<GuyBridge> >_<
#50013
<HomoAnalPenis> and than what?
<HomoAnalPenis> still dont work
<Cactus> what
<Cactus> Oh ya, you have to put the if outside the loop after it adds +2
<HomoAnalPenis> so do i leave the stop() inside still?
<Cactus> no, take that out
<Cactus> no wait
<HomoAnalPenis> why? but if stop() isnt called then it keeps repeating
<Cactus> oh ya you're right
<Cactus> grr dude, your name is really distracting me
*** HomoAnalPenis is now known as AnalPenis
#31968
<anticalaf> calaf: u should read a book called "Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the rich teach their kids and middle/low don't"
<Lucent> yeah, they teach them, "HERE'S A BUNCH OF MONEY!"
#11203
<GenOberst> I had to mule kick out, and grab his foot to reverse it
<GenOberst> bent his big toe outwards away from the foot...
<Tac0> oh nothing compared to my day, I flew an F-16 across the DMZ for kicks, resuerected Bruce Lee then killed him again with my bare hand (one tied behind my back), then after that i proceeded to sleep with 20 supermodels at the same time, and to top it off i bitch-slapped the pope