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#29452
<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me. I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend, fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits". My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",
#103855
<italy> i listen to a fuckton of orbital last night
<spook> orbital is like listening to a computer that won't boot
<italy> who dislikes orbital lol
<spook> beeeep beep beep beep!
<spook> is my videocard busted or is it orbital?
#47009
<noisypop> meh what am I gonna do for 2 hours
<raw3> jack me off
<noisypop> then what for the remaining 1 hour and 59 minutes?
#298889
<fahadsadah> "Free delivery on orders over £25 when collecting in store" < asda.co.uk
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#1693
<Eibii> I'm crossdressing for the next con, thank ye gods. Fewer chunky Star Trek fanboys in bad latex following me around and asking me to dinner, at least. THe joy of sexual alienation...
#302356
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY
#1735
(Dark_Fear) women and malls gotogether like warez and t3 connectiosn :)
#6731
<mynx> hahaha i had a construction worker holler at me today
<Wurzle> he said "YOU FUCKING HOMO GET AWAY FROM MY BUIDING SITE!"
#300302
<enkei> this is why computer simulations exist
<enkei> no sane person would stick his dick in a wind tunnel
#33274
(jesus`) All your sins are belong to me.
#30749
[06:45] <Newfiebul> ok.. i'll stay connected, and could you PM me when you get home?
[06:47] <[GizMo2]> yeah
[06:47] <Newfiebul> ok thanks
* Quits: Newfiebul
[06:48] <DaCaptn> thats an awesome job of staying connected
#79
<SYch0> [^_^
<blazemore> cellphones will give you cancer
#27949
<willo> so
<willo> this morning
<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road.
<willo> I didn't let him by
<willo> I get to work
<ogw-iii> that sounds painful
<willo> and it turns out to be the guy in the next cube
<willo> I'm trying to determine an appropriate beratement.
<willo> stoning?
<ogw-iii> "<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road."
<willo> you put that in bash.org and I'll hurt you.
*** willo is now known as HULK
<HULK> PUNY HUMAN!
<ogw-iii> how's about bash.cx?
#8665
<iggypop> if i dont get on tomorrow, i'm probably burnt up
<iggypop> i took the battery out of my smoke alarm for my digicam
#6138
--> osx_newb has joined #cprogramming
<osx_newb> helo?
<Vulpyne> 250 Vulpyne
#14444
<tokage> im a pathetic fanboy when it comes to king
<tokage> I'd read tampon labels if someone told me he wrote them
#42280
<Arundor> I'm starting to regret taking a philosophy course. It's getting very irritating that I can't strangle the authors of some of the more idiotic philisophical arguments I've had to read.
#11934
<jaydogg14!#devart> is anyone here from europe and hate americans, please msg me for this damn homework i gotta do
#34157
<@skape> wonder what a cisco movie would be about
<@trew> "self protecting networks"
<@skape> THE ROUTER STRIKES BACK
<@skape> RETURN OF THE FDDI
<@trew> haha
<@skape> come on trew
<@skape> you think up one!
<@trew> BACK TO THE ROUTER!
<@trew> HONEY I SHRUNK THE IDS
#42127
< lysol> this one girl I'm friends with in irc left me this comment "his bad-boy reputation as a slashdot troll combined with incredible compassion towards cute fuzzy animals would probably set off some maternal urge to propagate his genes in me if i had such a thing but instead i just want to blow him until i cry semen"
#37843
<TrafficCone> Me: "So would you sleep with me for a milion bucks?"
<TrafficCone> Her: "I guess. Thats a lota money."
<TrafficCone> Me: "How about 50 bucks?"
<TrafficCone> Her: "What do you think I am, a filthy whore?"
<TrafficCone> Me: "Well we know what you are, now we're just negotiating the price."
<TrafficCone> Earned me a slap, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, and I stand by that decision.
#25181
slurpee: got p2p?
Arcane: p2p?
Arcane: are you asking me for drugs?
#310743
<l0de> Notice to IT staff. As of today administrators are strictly forbidden from assigning passwords which are not randomly generated. Assigning users passwords which contain obfuscated political statements (example NRA43V3R! , 084^^4=L|Z4RD ) will be grounds for disciplinary action.
<l0de> so there's another thing I ruined for everyone
...
<l0de> for like 6 months straight I assigned every user the password: "password187!
<l0de> and everyone was logging into everyone else's accounts and creating havoc
<l0de> it was gr88
#19290
<justin3> I want a a pet rock shaped as the pope