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#4322
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.
#67276
* DreadPirate pictures the airline handing Mango a parachute and pointing her towards the door
Mango: DP: OI THERE! I'm very much male!
DreadPirate: oops :)
Mango: >.<
PinkFreud: at least I'm not the only one who makes that mistake. :P
DreadPirate: heh - glad to know I'm not alone as well
Mango: Hmm.
Mango: When you thought of me as a girl, was I pretty?
#294485
<%First_Mate_Drak> I once had a girl get so sloshed that she hit on me.
<%First_Mate_Drak> And by 'hit on me'.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I mean 'picked up a chair and tried to hit me because she thought I was a pinata.'
<%First_Mate_Drak> That was a weird halloween.
<%First_Mate_Drak> In her defense.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I was dressed as a pinata. >.>
#1844
<c-rOCK> that was sad though when I said "MAN WHAT IF D1 REALLY DID LOOK LIKE THAT" and hes like "Thats my real picture"
<c-rOCK> i felt pretty bad after that
#7888
<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/
#54846
<redrum> the last urmom joke I told blew up in my face
<redrum> turned out the guys mom was dead
<redrum> he told me to get my dick out of the urn
#303802
<Pryoidain> Meh, nothing interesting, just another day of me being a complete asshole to unsuspecting citizens
<Pryoidain> A legitimate, honest to god, door to door vacuum salesman came up at the best time.
<Pryoidain> I was vacuuming the rug behing the front door, and he comes up and knocks on it, so I check the peephole
<Pryoidain> It's pretty obvious what you're selling when you're holding a vacuum in one hand.
<Pryoidain> anyways we have one of those canister vacuums where the head pops off so you can attach shit to it for like sucking the fur off your dog or something more productive
<Pryoidain> I pop the head off, and open the door up just enough to where he can see me, but not the vacuum head in my hand.
<Pryoidain> I let him do his little speech, then asked to see his "Papers" to which he produced a sales paper.
<Pryoidain> He went to hand me the paper, I clicked on the vacuum, sucked it clean out of his hand, and slammed the door in his face.
<Pryoidain> Now, I could only experience the look of confusion through the peephole, but he stood out there confused for a good 3-4 minutes before deciding against knocking.
<Pryoidain> He had a few false starts, but never followed through. I think he was worried about what might happen next.
#236
<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia
#29048
[00:01] <chewy> </christmas>
[00:02] <berger> haha
Comment: December 26th
#232500
IndigoNocturna: When the guy sat next to me on the bus, it reminded me that for most of my life, I thought that all older men had the same smell... and then I realized that the smell is booze.
#11206
<fm> they say if you do the same thing over and over again .. you'll get sick of it. I've been cutting school for more days then I can count and I'm not sick of it yet
#193949
<Zachary> someone gave me an engraved rock for my birthday with ZACHERY on it
<Zachary> I mean first off you just gave me a fucking rock for my birthday
<Zachary> and then my name is on it and it's misspelled
<Zachary> of course maybe that was just the name of the rock
#7177
<Tyson> kegs rule
<Tyson> im gonna marry one
<Mousey> ill have an affair with it
#50344
<che> there's a programmer's union?
<Wintermute> yes
<Wintermute> Local 100100101110101010010
#32105
<linnaford> i went fishing
<linnaford> how exciting is that?
<linnaford> with my 3 year old neice and my sister who decided not to wear a bra
<tlozoot> whoooah
<tlozoot> she's trying to get pregnant again?
#16896
<Linguica> yeah if i was a girl i bet i would give good head
#295976
<Lamia> my husband just said to me, "If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk, right now!"
<Lamia> I need a snappy comeback to that.
<DarkDread> tell him, "If your name was homework, I'd be ignoring you to play video games."
#20187
<aggiepm> OMG Kill me. I just tried to move my curser off my screen onto my desk to look at a paper document on my desk
#47217
<zeedo> youd think that there would be some sort of rescue process for submarines
<zeedo> but it looks like the process is "call lots of people who have subs and then we'll all get here and do stuff"
<zeedo> which is a decent plan for a party, not so good for rescuing trapped submariners
#3794
<kalani> Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed into a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves...Here's Tom with the weather.
#41041
* +Rabbitoh pokes and feels his index finger sink into kc's leg
<+kc8501> oooooh Rabbitoh!
<+Rabbitoh> :D
<+kc8501> HEY that's not my leg!
<+Rabbitoh> that's not my finger
#23971
<sloop> i downloaded matrix reloaded off kazaa
<sloop> i got 1gb of dutch porn
<sloop> bonus
#309761
<@b0lt> why is the OS X trackpad scrolling speed setting hidden in the accessibility settings panel
<tuple> because if the apple way isnt right for you, you must be handicapped
#51074
* wiskic10_4[work] (wiskic10_4@3D6FCCD7.1FA7CA99.E878EC9B.IP) has joined #lobby
<wiskic10_4[work]> you'll never guess where I am...
<wiskic10_4[work]> oh.
<wiskic10_4[work]> damn.
<wiskic10_4[work]> stupid auto-nick...
Comment: #lobby on Unerror
#73997
<Detty> aww, my poor housemates have sore muscles from playing wii
<Detty> maybe if they'd ever USED THEM BEFORE, they'd be fine, like me
<Baconfish> Detty, why do i imagine you in real life as one of those folk that do nothing but sit and complain about everything else?
<Detty> i usually stand