Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#8545
[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better than getting pregnant...
#1605
<tgpretend> MICROSOFT BRAIN DRAIN CONTINUES. Fourteen-year
<tgpretend> vet. Paul Maritz resigns.
<tgpretend> how can he be an m$ veterna if he's only 14?
#197703
<withnail> well, i suppose that whatever happened, at least i'll always have my memories
<withnail> and by memories i mean naked photos of her
#300408
<TJNII> Man, this grandstream phone sure ARPs a lot. It is like a confused old man on my network. "Who am I? Who are you? Who are all these people?" Every 15 minutes.
#16188
<wof> does anyone really use emacs?
<Pills> my wife used to
<wof> really?
<wof> what'd she do?
<Pills> she... edited files? :)
#25223
<briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy. My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
<sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest
#54555
<your2ndgirl> dont keep your cans of compressed air next to the can of wd-40
<your2ndgirl> just a word of warning
* your2ndgirl goes out to buy a new keyboard
#305982
<Grievre> I just realized this was the best way to describe it
<Grievre> San francisco looks like a city designed by dr seuss
<Grievre> all the hills
<Grievre> houses are all pastel colors and different shapes
<Grievre> everyone wears weird outfits all the time
Comment: #furaffinity on #furnet
#1422
*** mindpulp has quit IRC (internet relay lobotomy)
#300892
<abiff> I don't like beer in cans
<abiff> That's why I drink it
#214880
<~SHAGGSTaRR> "Whats the best thing about fucking a transvestite?
<~SHAGGSTaRR> Reaching around and thinking it's gone all the way through."
Comment: timboss #dirt
#22001
* Cold_Lich wanders off to see if there's any of that garlic sausage I noticed a few weeks ago left...
<lord_skyman> sausage == pwn
<lord_skyman> hmmm i think i have a sweet ass sausage pic
<lord_skyman> let me go get it
<Cold_Lich> ...
<Cold_Lich> Ohhhh
<Cold_Lich> I SO interpreted that statement badly
#311568
<@Rjx> the bigger question is why I am so fixated on personality disorders
<@digdug_> maybe you have pdfpd
<@digdug_> personality disorder fixation personality disorder
<@Dom`> pdfpd.pdf
<@Dom`> the document for pdfpd
#56603
<evilAdmin> I feel like a dolt
<evilAdmin> sitting in a meeting with da b0ss
<evilAdmin> I screwed up a IT expendature report... Put down Win 2003 Enterprise when we needed standard just from downloadin' it off BT as a habbit. It stuck another $3000 on the report by accident.
<evilAdmin> B0ss asked me about it. My first reaction, I kid you not, was this little hand-twitch thing that would have otherwise been CTRL-Z.
<evilAdmin> The b0ss caught it. He said "Did you just press Undo?", and I said "Yeah, now I need to enter the infinite money cheat". He just stared at me.
<evilAdmin> Then him and his 4 goons all started laughing at me :(. My job sux
#36313
<@root66> i used to be high on life
<@root66> then i developed a tolerance
<@root66> before I knew it
<@root66> instead of seizing the day
<@root66> i was seizing 3, 4 days
<@root66> even a week
<@root66> just to cop the same buzz
Comment: #maddox on WhatNET, while discussing LSA
#48605
<Trinity_Quasar> Quick, give me your extended (a few sentences) views on teen pregnancy for my socio work it's due in tomorrow. :-/!
<LionsPhil> "I think teen pregancy is largely due to unpreparedness. Much like the kind of unpreparedness which sees one writing an essay the night before it is due and having to ask for help on the Internet."
#19550
<count^> i set my double click speed to really slow
<count^> so that
<count^> i can click once now..
<count^> go out, have a cig
<count^> go for a walk
<count^> take a nap
<count^> then come back and click again
<count^> i like to be ready for anything
#26422
<Fidel-> 1 kid sacrificed, in order to make 1 million gamers laugh
<Fidel-> i think its a fair trade
#40638
<Whoahey> Yeah, y'know those headphones we sell where it blocks out all other sound but still lets you listen to music?
<ColonelPanic> Yeah
<Whoahey> Y'know how I always say that everyone always puts them on and their friend always says the same thing
<Whoahey> "Can you hear me?! You're a complete tool! <insert random insult> ...did you hear that?"
<ColonelPanic> Heh right.
<Whoahey> Some guy and his girlfriend came in and tried it
<Whoahey> Might I add, she was friggin' gorgeous
<Whoahey> He puts on the headphones, usual conversation ensues -- "Can you hear me?" ::dude shrugs::
<Whoahey> And I'm not even kidding, the girl yells out at the top of her lungs "I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU WITH MIKE!"
<ColonelPanic> holy shit lol
<Whoahey> The guy just laughs, shrugs and points to the headphones.
<Whoahey> I swear, everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and were like O_O
#14318
Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..)
#26315
<@PookaZzZz> elimidate??
<@PookaZzZz> is that the terminator in spanish?
#298437
<paul> just remember
<paul> in linux, hostname -s does a shortened hostname
<paul> in solaris, hostname -s set's the machine's hostname to -s
<paul> imagine my confusion when my solaris box kept getting its hostname changed to -s everyday
<paul> before I realized i had a script that was supposed to use the machine's hostname as part of a tar file
#72713
<InsomniA> Heh... My Prof in Theorem proving class threw out some kid...
<InsomniA> He was talking about his friends telling him to have sex with some chick.
<InsomniA> And the Prof's like "If I asked you to have sex with me, would you!?"
<InsomniA> At which point the kid starts screaming "REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM!!!"
#33454
<mouse> I think my pulse has stopped.
* mouse reboots
#9349
<[DeViL]WaRzO> chufty decode this plz
<[DeViL]WaRzO> cerom: (11:22 PM) I know but talking with who speak's English as a motherlanguage.
<[DeViL]Chufty> it means "add me to your ignore list"