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#37727
<Kurt> you know, if I look up my quotes on qdb.us I appear to be a racist, sexist anti-semite
<Kurt> however, this is not painting the full picture
<StealthNinjaGirl> you also eat small cute kittens?
<Kurt> I would
<Kurt> but we don't have any
<StealthNinjaGirl> ate them all, already?
<Kurt> yeah
<Kurt> they were a bit stringy
Comment: #maddox on WhatNET
#49925
< RyuKojiro> if it is a vertical asymptote at 25 then he needs to cook them longer to unburn them ;)
< kernel_dan> its a vertical asymptote from the left (i.e. at time is infinitessimally less than 25)
< kernel_dan> for time greater than 25, it is undefined
< RyuKojiro> Oh, okay ;)
< kernel_dan> by now, his cookies would be really burnt
< RyuKojiro> indefinitely burnt ;)
< kernel_dan> quick! the freezer
< RyuKojiro> Wait, then it would be a 3 dimentional plot of this asymptote
< RyuKojiro> temperature, cook time, and burnt-ness :P
< RyuKojiro> then it would decrease on the z making it just a cold, yet indefinitely burnt cookie
< kernel_dan> and what if burnt-ness where a complex number?
< RyuKojiro> Then he could risk having imaginarily burnt cookies!
< kernel_dan> but they would still really be burnt
Comment: #math
#298387
<@Venkman> anyone here got experience of an intel atom CPU under general usage conditions?
<efum> you are in luck sir
<@Venkman> what's normal Windows usage like compared to a Core 2?
<efum> i merely meant sir that you are currently in #advice, the most powerful advisory medium on the internet
<@Venkman> you suck
<efum> i know
#176177
< pixie> Heh, looking at what things contain iron, its quite weird that I lack iron
< pixie> I eat plenty of things that contain it
< ari> So you eat plenty of iron but are anaemic? Why, that's ironic.
Comment: ##pink
#4013
<Joshua> how's the recording going?
<Joshua> or the whole band thing i guess... haven't heard much as of late...
<Lexx> like a dead paraplegic snail, nailed to a dead paraplegic badger that has been cemented into the foundations of a building
<Joshua> umm... was the snail dead before it was nailed to the badger?
<Lexx> they were both stillborn
<Lexx> as were their parents
<Alamias> Sounds like my sex life
<Joshua> wow...
#8483
<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock
<Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl
<tm> she's crying on her keyboard now
#10339
<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on their shelves.
<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the actual testicles.
#197703
<withnail> well, i suppose that whatever happened, at least i'll always have my memories
<withnail> and by memories i mean naked photos of her
#297753
<Seth> We were out fishing one time, and I was like, "So what would you do if I was dating your daughter?"
<Seth> And he goes, "I'd kill you."
<Seth> Straight faced, too. ;(
<Seth> And then he pulls out a knife, still straight faced.
<Seth> And then goes, "Just kidding man. She already told me."
<Seth> I damn near shit myself. ;<
#35898
daito+> it's bad
daito+> when a girl calls me
daito+> and i don't pick it up
daito+> cause i don't feel like having sex today
Sephiroso> is she ugly
white_0men> nah
daito+> no she is hot.
white_0men> wtf
daito+> and i've slept with her
white_0men> don't feel like having sex
daito+> i just don't feel like doing much
daito+> there is this discovery channel show on the bermuda triangle on at 9
daito+> and i wanna drink coffee and watch that
#278
*** Joins: SLiPMaTT` (slippy@I.get.my.STDs.from.the.girls.at.geishagarden.com)
#4745
<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes
#30306
<dedhed> Living within your means is totally where it's at
<Grifter> and by "within your means" you mean "with my parents" right?
#3649
<PapaWo|f> any girls care to chat with 17/m/Van/Lamer/zits for days/hideously overweight/naked right at this moment spanking off to animal porn? msg me
#56416
<DietPop> ahahha my neighbor is a dumbass
<DietPop> a couple weeks ago he was getting ready to bbq and i was outside walking my dog, and i saw him putting lighter fluid on it
<DietPop> i'm looking at him and i say "doug i think you're using too much lighter fluid on that grill"
<DietPop> he's like "well the charcoal is moist from the rain last month so i need more fluid on it"
<DietPop> i could have told him that it'd probably do fine, but instead i said "yeah, you're probably right"
<DietPop> i think he finished off the bottle, strikes a match..
<DietPop> the next thing i see is a good sized fireball which singes most of the hair on his head
<DietPop> he freaks out and knocks over the grill...spills out on the lawn and the lawn catches on fire
<DietPop> i'm laughing so hard i could barely run over there and hose him and the lawn down
<DietPop> best day ever
<DietPop> to top it off, yesterday he brought home a new propane grill
#10646
<hybridy2k> how do i give ppl ops with a certain level
<@netwerk> rephrase your question in english before i find an axe and murder your parents
#34139
<Valeria> This is my computer. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My computer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life.
<Valeria> Without me my computer is useless. Without my computer, I am useless. I must use my computer well. I must K-Line faster than my enemy who is trying to K-Line me.
<Valeria> I must pwn him before he pwns me. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My computer and myself are defenders of my server. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy ... but Microsoft. Amen.
#8093
<Hazim> APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY CARD
<LR|seksiwidow-> why the hell not?
<Hazim> i dunno.. they thought i wouldn't return them on time?
#8248
<EK> What if the war in Afghanistan was fought with midgets!
<Jei> With midgets as infantry, or as ammunition?
#34029
<Imiut> I'm so addicted I actually read the pending quotes too. >.<
<Luna> imiut, i do that too...
<Imiut> Omg do you? Let's get married!
Comment: #mxo
#242212
<&tgies> I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
<&tgies> Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
#26265
<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop.
<Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL... there was something appealing about their creed to "never leave their buddy's behind"
#277
<Hatter> Sometimes hypr, I can hear the gears in your head grind to a halt
<hypr> haha
#20162
<`FrEaK> that chick was hot... he prolly had a huge boner
<g0dsmack> only you would care if another man had a huge boner.
#21765
<mom> !eightball clean your room
<NuckleBot> Don't count on it, mom.