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#9347
[02:18:04] s7ank: i want to be one of those guys that types
"s/j&jd//.^$ueu*///djsls/sm."
and it's a perl script that turns dog crap into gold.
#48072
<krysta_trose> O_o Wait...there were actually 12 year olds calling the N64 old school? I need to whap them with a 99 cent copy of Mario
#18398
<jitspoe> my hard drive is clicking
<jitspoe> it's the one that fell on my foot and freaked me out :)
<jitspoe> all of a sudden something somewhat large and warm landed on my foot
<jitspoe> ... and i had my pants on
#25129
<ignatz> If you piss off enough people, it's hard to tell the difference between a distributed denial of service attack and public opinion.
#7527
<raelee> I wont take it in the ass until I am married.
#5473
<ExCon> ihave one wish b4 i goto army rho :)
<ExCon> op for 1 day :D
<[SuN]> im not that soft :P
<ExCon> what if i die and never come back ?;D
<[SuN]> ill make a bot called ExCon and give it ops
<ExCon> oh..i feel honored
<ExCon> :D
<[SuN]> ;)
#58806
<~knuck> Faptime.
<~knuck> I came. (20mins 15secs)
<~knuck> knuck's fap count for 2006: 137 times. Last came 41secs ago. Total faptime: 2days 3hrs 17mins 53secs. Average faptime: 22mins 28secs. 1.199546 faps/day.
<Zem> sometimes I hate my capacity for visual speculation
#785
(|Chris) bang her and change your phone number
#62635
<Workdug> <woebeetle> russian food = alcohol,cigarettes,cabbage
<metric> i could live on that
<jmx> dont know about the cabbage
<Spidey> pass on the cabbage
Comment: #geekissues
#59017
<mackattack> why do church organizations have telemarketers? I feel bad hangin up on them like I am sinning or something
<mackattack> the worst part is they usually call when I am watching porn
#210939
< Lapkawitz> and you can tell she's really japanese becase her genitals produce a forcefield that pixelates the air around them
#83745
<InkyGhost> So, I work for a college, managing one of their labs. The college had problems with people abusing the printers, so they switched to a "pay-per-page" system.
<InkyGhost> Our printer, however, is free and unmetered, but for Computer Science stuff only.
<InkyGhost> We've turned a blind eye to people printing off reports and whatnot, but lately someone's been abusing it. So, we're locking down the printer a little more.
<InkyGhost> What broke the camels back was some student repeatedly printing out this 30 page excerpt called "The History of Judaism" 4-5 times a day for 2 days.
<Morigann> So, when the students complain, you'll just tell them to blame the jews?
<InkyGhost> If it would not get me so incredibly fired, that would be the notice on the printer.
#523
jaylane0910: oh gross
e l i t e m r p: ?
jaylane0910: my cmoputer science teacher corrupted the word g-string for me
e l i t e m r p: heh
jaylane0910: she said she was writing her own string lib
jaylane0910: her name is Gioviana or something
jaylane0910: and she caled it GString
jaylane0910: and shes ugly
jaylane0910: and damn
#42253
<+turkey> all i do these days is stick my penis in my vcr, hoping that it'll give birth to a dvd player.
Comment: #maddox
#31880
<splice> he makes me laugh, i have no problem with him
<splice> and he pisses people off, i can respect that
#33905
<RandomSpork> I saw Dawn of the Dead yesterday
<RandomSpork> ha ha ha
<RandomSpork> about halfway through the movei
<RandomSpork> the theater starts to get this really BAD smell
<@MrMog> oo?
<RandomSpork> and there's this annoying drip drip dripping sound
<@MrMog> oo???
<RandomSpork> turns out there was a bunch of 7 years olds in the upper seats with large cokes
<@MrMog> ..
<@MrMog> that story sucked
<RandomSpork> but it was TRUE
<@MrMog> I thought there was a dead body or something
<@MrMog> jeez
<RandomSpork> it wasn't coke that was dripping
<@MrMog> ...
<@MrMog> eww
Comment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
#1280
<disgrunt> New "Britney"'s born in the US every year: 1,483.
<disgrunt> New "Dick Tease"'s born in the US every year: 3.
<disgrunt> That's the funniest shit I've ever seen.
<disgrunt> How would you like to be named Dick Tease?
<fade_> haha
<fade_> well, britney sure is a dick tease
<cout> disgrunt: I'd go by "Richard"
#295466
<dragongame> Welcome back, Peasant McDohl, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 6, Dex: 4, Con: 6, Int: 6, Wis: 4, Cha: 3.
<dragongame> Fight a Giant!
<McDohl> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 1. A dragon eats you.
#27459
<spazzer> last chick I screwed she hurt for a day afterwards
<spazzer> i got the nickname "the hammer" at work now from that
<spicrx7> hahaha
<spicrx7> spazzer works at a day care center
<spazzer> eww
<spazzer> you pedophile
<spicrx7> i'm not the one bangin 10yo's so hard they hurt for a day afterward
<spazzer> 35 year olds you mean
<spicrx7> yeah in dog years maybe
#10213
<Blaxthos> any fat bitches with inner beauty wanna chat ?
#30939
<RageAgainstTheAmish> brb making smores
<RageAgainstTheAmish> FUCK MY OVEN IS ON FIRE BRB
<RageAgainstTheAmish> HOLY FUCK MY KITCHEN IS ON FIRE
<RageAgainstTheAmish> OMFG
<RageAgainstTheAmish> BRB AFK
<RageAgainstTheAmish> OH MY GOD DUDE IM CALLING 911 BRB
<ducky[kC]> lmfao
<ducky[kC]> poor joe
*RageAgainstTheAmish Quit (Connection reset by peer)
#19123
<bec> whats the temperature up there in canada?
<Jonathan`> it's about 34 celcius right now
<bec> Really? Here we go by degrees its 87 here
<Jonathan`> Holy fuck lol! you americans
#232500
IndigoNocturna: When the guy sat next to me on the bus, it reminded me that for most of my life, I thought that all older men had the same smell... and then I realized that the smell is booze.
#30403
<Cyrack> told my girlfriend that MS could get all her personal letters... now she unplugs the network before starting Office... :-(
#2596
<jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.