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#25628
* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on holidays, not knowing there was no school
#49282
<TrogL> Found a new use for a chainsaw. Daughter's boyfriend wouldn't wake up. Ran the chainsaw outside his window. He bolted out of bed yelling "I didn't do it! I didn't do it!" He was still twitching three hours later
<Phoon> ROFLMAO
<Phoon> that's why nothing will beat a 12 gauge shotgun for home defense
<Phoon> Even a cat burglar with ice water in his veins will shit himself at the sound of a 12-gauge being pumped
<Phoon> you don't even need to fire it
<Phoon> hell, you don't even need the gun... just the cocking mechanism and a bottle of carpet cleaner to get rid of the shit stain
#14405
<Thrawn> i want to die and go to a place where i can screw tons of chicks.
<Thrawn> actually
<Thrawn> fuck dying
<Thrawn> i just wan tto go to a place where i can screw tons of chicks.
#307605
<%Klima> Well
<%Klima> Holland seems like a weird country
<%Klima> I've been there once
<%Klima> To Amsterdam
<%Klima> and we slept on a boatel, a boat that is a hotel
<%Klima> That's weird
<%Klima> And people live in shipping containers turned into apartments
<%Klima> that's weird
<%Klima> We tried to take a boat to Amsterdam, and a small car with 3 wheels comes on it, with a DJ blasting techno music all the time
<%Klima> A live DJ, on the back of a small car
<%Klima> blasting techno music on a public boat, with a thousand people on it
<%Klima> and no one complained, they liked the music
<%Klima> the dj was half naked
<%Klima> that was weird
<%Klima> So we get to the red light district, and this was at around 10 o' clock in the morning, and it just STANK
<%Klima> Man
<%Klima> that smell was horrid
<%Klima> It just smelled of semen and poo
<%Klima> so that was weird
<%Klima> We get to a small street where on one side, there are window hookers
<%Klima> on the other side
<%Klima> there's a fucking KINDERGARDEN
<%Klima> Amsterdam is just the weirdest place I've ever been
#29781
<Alien> is porn like coffee? revolting in the beginning, but people get used to it?
<OrcaW> hahah
<OrcaW> not usually, no. For most it's more like chocolate.
[21:09] <Alien> strange
<Alien> can i say 'porn' whenever i mean 'chocolate' and be accepted then?
<lnp-work> yeah :
<Alien> ok
#309850
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat
#56337
<Mal> I may have made a fatal error in my personal development.
<Wad_Shooter> What'dya mean?
<Mal> OK, so a couple of years ago I graduate, get ready to go to university.
<Mal> And I'm a nice guy and everything, but I'm a bit quiet. Shy, you know?
<Wad_Shooter> Yeah...
<Mal> So I decide to become more of a quick speaker. The kind of guy who's got a good one-liner for any situation. Pretty easy stuff - I started by using a few characters from books, sort of borrowing their mannerisms, and it eventually stuck. I started becoming more talkative, and more outwardly funny.
<Mal> Basically I was just coming out and saying the shit that was going through my head anyway.
<Mal> Problem was, at around the same time I started reading these fucking quote sites - Bash, QDB, you know.
<Wad_Shooter> OK...
<Mal> So I'm still coming out with funny stuff that's going through my head - but now it's like 99% 'your mum' jokes.
<Wad_Shooter> LOL, smooth
<Mal> Shut up, your mum takes it in the arse.
#308006
<dr2chase> As I said to someone else, back when the Lite-Brite Mooninites panicked the Boston Police, the first rule of making a bomb, is to not make it look like a bomb.
<dr2chase> That's why IEDs get buried, stuffed into dead dogs, what have you. Around here, if you wanted to hide a bomb in plain sight, you'd stick it in a crumpled Dunkin Donuts bag.
<anony> Isn't a Dunkin Donuts bag the first place a cop would look?
#64
<Ash> Win2k! ^_^
*** Ash Quit (Read error: 73 (Connection reset by peer))
#30404
Tridao: i got 100%
Tridao: :D
Xeero: On what?
Tridao: the iq test
Xeero: ...
Tridao: 100% of what/
Xeero: Did it give you a number?
Xeero: That says
Xeero: 'Your IQ is ___"
Tridao: 100%...:(
Xeero: Okay, your IQ is not high.
#34750
<Theogony> e and his community service
<Theogony> he needs to be buying me lunch right now. i've gone 9.5 days without insulting him regarding a certain physical characteristic
<Theogony> i told him my idea of community service is to leave torrent files open after i've downloaded them
<KArmA-> hehehe
<KArmA-> you're a credit to the species
Comment: #couch on EFnet
#307357
<&Zera> Oh jesus.. I need to turn off the network share monitor on zerver/glasnftp. *ring ring* "Hey, me (mom's bf) and your mom's gonna watch a movie on the big screen up here. What's the logon password for the server again?". *20 minutes later and checking share activity* "Amateur.Anal.Attempts.15.xxx.dvdrip"
<&Zera> :(
<&Zera> I did not need to know this
#70455
[krazy]: i was lost in school today
[krazy]: i couldnt find my class
[krazy]: and guess what the room # was
[dizzy]: ?
[krazy]: 404
#29585
<+Ron> ( E@3 )
<+Ron> / /U \ \
<+Lance> o_o
<+Lance> What is that?
<Dirt[secluded]> O_O
<+Ron> Goatse
Comment: :-D
#1206
<cooey> brb going to efnet under the proxy sawgrass.massopac.navy.mil and telling people to join the millitary
#299911
< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> .....not what I meant.
#305699
<Erik> Alright.
<Erik> I'm writing a script that checks my instant messenger logs every couple entries.
<Erik> And if the ratio of Youtube links to actual messages exceeds 20%, it tells me I can't be friends with that person anymore.
#50229
(NES) I'm thinkg we should buy the condoms in bulk from costco
(Emmers) I won't need any *grins*
(NES) you're good at pulling out?
(Emmers) I'm a girl.
(NES) wtf
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#1048
<DooD> <31hp 102m 60mv> You start fighting A mouse.
<DooD> A mouse ducks to the ground, narrowly avoiding your strike!
<DooD> A mouse skillfully dodges your assault.
<DooD> A mouse is in excellent condition.
<DooD> <31hp 102m 60mv>
<DooD> A mouse strikes you with terminal brutality!
<DooD> You are stunned, but will probably recover.
<DooD> wtf was that
<timmo> well
<timmo> a mouse whooped your ass
#69904
<randi> did you kill this perl coder?
<sbahra> randi, I've gotten into many arguments with him. :-)
<sbahra> He's far too much of a celebrity in this scene to really "win". He did write *a lot* of code. :-)
<sbahra> Not necessarily good code, but a lot of code.
<randi> you know, sucking a lot of dick doesn't make you a porn star. it just makes you a slut.
#27973
<zztzed> I'm trying Audiogalaxy's Rhapsody thing. I'm expecting it to suck, so I won't be disappointed when I find out it actually does. But heh, they ask for your age and country and gender and shit.
<ZhayTee> zztzed: How are you going to send the shit to them?
<zztzed> ZhayTee: Very carefully.
<ZhayTee> I'd expect so. Else the mailman is going to get a surprise.
#37376
<Nesta> The maker doesn't need it,
<Nesta> The buyer doesn't use it,
<Nesta> The user uses it without knowing.
<Nesta> What is it?
<el draco> damn i know this
<el draco> the grave thing
<el draco> i dont know how to say in english
<el draco> the box you wear when you die
#57047
<Mel>People make misstakes daniel, ive made plenty misstakes but i try not to make the smae misstake three times
<Mel> same*
#28829
<Wisdom> For once it would be nice to see a well-adjusted main character.
<Wisdom> Sort of like Professor Xavier. But a werewolf. And not crippled.
<Wisdom> The psychic part would be cool, though.
<Wisdom> A psychic werewolf
<Wisdom> With a shotgun!
<Wisdom> Now that has the makings of the BEST GAME EVER.
*** Wisdom was kicked by Silversong (It's for your own good.)