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#50149
<Jason> And... the test is finished.
<Tristal> What was the test, "Can I drink this fifth of Jack Daniels in under 3 minutes?"
<Tristal> Because I noticed you cramming really hard before the exam
#63878
<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
<tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
<tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
<tydel> kind of a conversation ender
#5420
<Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios shirt on.
<Psifire> And something occured to me.
<Vykuzich> pants?
#2479
<Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days
#311245
<nacht> I sold body armor in a rite aid parking lot yesterday.
<Naraka> I love everything about that.
<nacht> Ohio ftw
<nacht> Are you a felon? No? Here buy this AK and 2000 rounds out of my trunk.
#310474
<TheHackOps> I thought i was paranoid because I encrypt all my business emails
<TheHackOps> Get a letter from ISP asking why i am doing it
<TheHackOps> So yep
<TheHackOps> Some desert island is looking pretty good guys
Comment: irc.freenode.net ##security
#39108
* Uziel calls in the goats to feed on their corpses. =D
arcane: mmmm goats
* Vukk shoots the goats and has a feast
Uziel: DAMN YOU GOAT SLAUGHTERING SON OF A BITCH.
Uziel: I will summon forth the corpses of your female ancestors and chain you to their bones.
Uziel: forcing you to drink goat blood by the gallon from their rotten not-really-existent cunts
Uziel: while I scatter the ashes of the goats you have killed
Uziel: over your naked, helpless body, as it's whipped, lashed, and beaten bloody
Uziel: sending the pain of those goats you have disgraced, down your spine.
* Orionis slaps Vukk around with Windows Me
* Orionis threatens Uziel with the Windows ME
* Uziel bows
Uziel: Hails to thee who makes the true definition of pain abundant in our knowledge. =X
arcane: hail!
#20238
*** {OK}oOShogoOo has joined #dransik
<{OK}oOShogoOo> :))))))))))))))))
<Gets> Why the long face?
#11074
<Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond.
#5028
<myles> i jus wanna go to court and b on the plantiff side for once
#227397
newts: This VIP branch is complaining that it's network connections seem to be down ATM.
newts: We failed them to the backup systems which are also not responding.
newts: We failed them to the tertiary systems (they're VIP).
newts: Suddenly it's mentioned that they're in the middle of a hurricane.
newts: Huh.
newts: Wonder if that could be the problem.
#304938
< Bob_work> This page blocked. Please enter the name of a seedless fruit to continue.
< OWA> Bob
< Bob_work> HEY!
#1273
<Fakester> hmm, I wonder if Wal-Mart would ask for ID on a return...
<Fakester> that could be a problem
<Tortri> if they do, well... tell them you forgot it, take the DC back home
<Tortri> then you'll be stuck with a new dc
<Fakester> Tortri: I'm currently unemployed, I don't have $100 to waste like that.
<Tsengie> sell it to some stupid kid for 119
<Tsengie> tell him it's a ps2
#44392
Darika Senokah: HEY WILL
Darika Senokah: GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS :D
KUSWIL: MAY 7TH!? D:
Darika Senokah: xD
Darika Senokah: Yes but
Darika Senokah: It is also
Darika Senokah: NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY :D
KUSWIL: ...
KUSWIL: Interesting. :o Just before Mother's Day.
KUSWIL: Think about that for a minu- NO ON SECOND THOUGHT DON'T. XD;;;
Darika Senokah: XDDDDD!!!
Darika Senokah: Omg, you are a HORRIBLE person.
KUSWIL: You're just realizing this? :D
Comment: May 7th is National Masturbation Day!
#143
<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up?
#37835
<Bikke> Whoah, I'm in better shape than I'd expected.
<Bikke> 3 miles plus 6-700 vertical feet in like 20 mins
<GauHelldragon> that is a very impressive jump :o
#295612
<%bassist> 2 days ago i answered a telemarketer pretending i was a telemarketer selling them stuff
#3403
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#24993
<secracy> what would be the correct way to be able to have !! in my php script ?
<sZombie> secracy: what?
<secracy> my two exclimation marks arent showing up on my form
<sZombie> secracy: you need to do a double-back-flip-exclamation-mark-escape
#55082
<fizzer> and we had to put condoms on the boys bananas
<fizzer> and there were too many girls in my class, so it was me and another girl with Luke
<fizzer> and he was mighty embarrassed
<koshua> Were the guys given half a nectarine and told to find the clitoris?
Comment: Sex Ed, Ozzie style
#45533
<@D1-> so I got to walmart to get some fish oil supplements
<@D1-> and I see this dude who looks 10 times nerdier than me picking up a box of condoms right next to me
<@D1-> and man did that not feel right. ;[
Comment: #geekissues
#39783
<Pryo> yeah right
<Pryo> its 3 feet tall'
<Pryo> QUICK
<Pryo> HOW DO I CANCEL WINDOWS SHUTTING DOWN
* Pryo (~Pryo@Pyro.users.WhatNET.Org) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
Comment: #maddox on irc.whatnet.org
#62737
<@D1> I'm reading stephen hawking's website and I can't help to do it in that robot voice
#8294
<tytyt> the--kav if you were not a man I'd hug you
<deepcut> but as it is, he's too afraid of his own latent homosexuality to dare
<tytyt> there are support group for that
<deepcut> tytyt: I was referring to you
#296743
<dd7> kid's a genius
<dd7> the paper on his desk had a beautiful drawing of some fucked up temple with trees growing out of it and shit
<dd7> turned it over and saw a page full of sql diagrams