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#50388
<Slater_> I HATE sticky keys!
<Slater_> I specifically remember being just about to take that perfect headshot in Counter-Strike, tapping the shift-key to sneak a bit forward for a clean view. ...and then...
<Slater_> "Hello! We think you must be severely handicapped, since you just pressed the shift key. We will now close your game and teach you a bit about using your computer with no hands. Love thy Windows experience!"
#21139
·xplosif· sif im lesbian
·xplosif· i just got my dick sucked!
•TwisTz• by a chick?
·xplosif· no a guy
#50239
<Shinji> Man, if I had more money and less dignity, I'd go to an animecon with a fake tentacle up my ass. Just for the looks.
#311370
<Helix_Mouse> breadsticks are delicious
<Helix_Mouse> I want a breadstick
<MilesGates> >:C
<MilesGates> Whats the magic word?
<Helix_Mouse> accio breadstick
#310412
* xobs is in China now, going back to Singapore tomorrow.
<@xobs> i forgot my keyboard in Singapore. The one i got here in Shenzhen iss a special kind of awful. IIt seems to olke to repeat keys randomly. Makese logging in and putting in passwords a bit of a challenge.
<@xobs> Actually one of the thinigs I'll have to oworrk on that's kinid of challenginig is wwhat to do on fiirst boot
<@xobs> Moost distroos set upu pthiingns like username, passworrd, timemzone,, etc.. durinig seteup. WWe'll havev to odo that on first boot.
<@xobs> ...this is a areally, rreally bad keybooard.
Comment: #kosagi on OFTC
#21554
Motorbreath151: I love
TheOffspring326: what?
Motorbreath151: oh sorry
Motorbreath151: forgot to finnish my sentence
Motorbreath151: I-KIRJAIN lempiä ilakoida televisio kisat
Motorbreath151: there we go
TheOffspring326: what the fuck
Motorbreath151: i finnished it
Motorbreath151: stupid
Motorbreath151: finnish is a language
#308836
<aydiosmio> I don't anticipate the world moving away from keyboards any time soon for the sake of productivity
<nydel> aydiosmio: i think the world will split into people who use touch-screens & people who have shit to do
Comment: #2600 on irc.2600.net
#14638
<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?
#66600
Orb: HA YES
Orb: ASIANS IN AMERICA HAVE HIGHEST LIFE EXPECTANCIES
Orb: SUCK IT WHITIES
#30095
<RuKK> my left nut itches
<Feragho> you know i just realised
<Feragho> my left testicle is bigger than my right one
<RuKK> yeah
<RuKK> mine are a little different too
<Feragho> amazing things you realise whilst scratching your nuts
<RuKK> yep
Comment: #serioustraders @ dal.net
#304215
<Juliet|Awesome> going to "bed" so I can "read" a "book", maybe "learn" a little more "esperanto"
* Juliet|Awesome is now known as Juliet|pr0n
* Juliet|pr0n is now known as Juliet|Zzzzzzzzz
<PovAddict> o_O
<Juliet|Zzzzzzzzz> stupid dvorak
Comment: freenode #stackoverflow
#297256
<Mr_Nobu> So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...
#59753
<Calamarain> Idiot. Someone told me that Schindler's list was a "box of tissues film"
<Calamarain> What a load of crap
<Calamarain> I only jerked off once.
#11223
<Jubei301> I want a director's cut version of the matrix where the red and blue pills are suppositories...
#23672
* Spades has quit IRC (Remote host closed the connection)
* Spades has joined #nekobox
<Spades> and that was the power button..... x.x
#23622
* +Soul-Reaver continues his evil nocturnal deeds
<+Cyrrex> wackin it again, eh SR?
#20994
<Andris> See you later, masturbators.
<TheKid> After a while, pedophile.
#35740
the_white2086: just thinking, 2 saddest thing I have seen for a while
the_white2086: 1) instructions on toothpicks
the_white2086: 2) warning many contain traces of nuts (on a bag of penuts)
phlipping: how do you fit instructions on a toothpick?
phlipping: they're pretty small
the_white2086: packet of toothpicks
phlipping: well, if you use small enough type, then "Put tooth here -->" would suffice
the_white2086: :))
the_white2086: seriously though
the_white2086: 1) moisten tip gently with tounge
the_white2086: 2) insert between teeth with flat edge next ot gum
the_white2086: 3) use with a gentle in/out rocking motion
phlipping: I don't know what's more sad. That there were instructions on a toothpick packet or that you remember them
#283592
<Errdoth-AFK> lul
* Errdoth-AFK forces himself to turn the monitor off
<ichai> hey errdoth
<Errdoth-AFK> ?
<ichai> made you type again
<Errdoth-AFK> fuck you
#56732
<Throgan> Oh, speaking of Monty Python, I think Terry Gilliam is doing some thing on PBS about the number 1.
<cookiemonster> Leave it to Monty Python to make an entire show about piss.
#171657
< evitable> i always rather liked badminton
< evitable> except for the time i hit a shuttlecock into a tree
< evitable> then lost a racket trying to get it out
< evitable> lost a rake tryin to get the racket
< evitable> and lost a fucking 2x4 trying to get anything
< evitable> then ruined my pants with sap
#4238
<Scofco> i want to stick it up my butt
<Scofco> not my 'chocolate starfish'
<fcastle> lol same diffrence u doosh bag :)
<Scofco> i don't even have a chocolate starfish
<Scofco> i hate seafood
#33829
<FHCI_SS> I work as a tech support and someone called yesterday with the following conversation taking place
<FHCI_SS> Customer: "Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my laptop. It's under warranty."
<FHCI_SS> Me: "What seems to be the trouble with it?"
<FHCI_SS> Customer: "My wife got mad and threw it in the pool."
#32629
<bleak> oh god
<bleak> my girlfriend has either the worst or ebst timing ever
<somniloquy> just caught you whacking off?
<somniloquy> and offered to lend a hand?
<bleak> somniloquy: well, no, I was, and she called me JUST as I finished.
#51034
DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass