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#33711
<Neon[UK]> i'm starting a successful online business
<Neon[UK]> and im 17
<Neon[UK]> so fuck you all
<Neon[UK]> apart from rjx
<Rjx> heh
<Rjx> you can't _start_ a succesful business
<Rjx> you get that status after a few years
#303792
<emFox> Kali ma!
* emFox rips Novu's still-beating heart out of his chest and lowers his body into a flame pit.
<emFox> Bali Mangthi Kali Ma!
<Novu_Ferret> This is how I know he loves me
#304897
<+Henry> i'm fine with girls
<+Henry> they just don't like me tbh
<%primality> that's normal, Henry
<%primality> girls generally dislike most people
<%primality> you have to get past their firewall of hormones and rage
<%primality> iptables -P GIRLS DENY
<%primality> that's their config
<sudokun> lol
<%primality> you have to invoke iptables -A GIRLS -p relationships --sgender male -j ACCEPT
<sudokun> primality, that'd make girls whores
<sudokun> since there's no source identifier, they'd accept all males
<%primality> bah
<%primality> iptables -A GIRLS -p relationships --sgender male --sname Henry -j ACCEPT
<%primality> ^ fixed
<+Henry> this is why I should never ask for relationship advice in #linux
<+Henry> but on the other hand, I feel like I understand girls a little better now O_o
#28806
<tuls> i'll never tell
<LaLaLand> slut
<LaLaLand> you're name is slut spelled backwards
* LaLaLand is soo fucking slow
<tuls> you are name is slut spelled backwards
#8083
<DilleMMa> im off to maccas now
<DilleMMa> any requests?:)
<Nelyx> some motivation with a side order of dignity
<DilleMMa> and a large compassion
<Nelyx> and no, i would not like fries with that
<DilleMMa> i should get myself a "medium why do i even bother"
<DilleMMa> toodles
<Nelyx> they stopped serving those last year
#7848
Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war! o/`
Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level. %)
Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war!
E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that currently houses my conscious and those physical manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!
%
#53079
<Mace> ROFL
<Mace> Best day EVER at work
<Mace> Because of the sheer amount of people that send stuff during the holidays (I work at a UPS Store)
<Mace> The owner of the store I work at set the answering machine to say that we were too busy to give out estimates, track packages, etc.
<Mace> And he said to call the UPS 1-800 number (1-800-742-5877)
<Mace> But he was tired, and said 1-800-4877
<Mace> Normally a wrong number isn't a problem, right? Just a different business
<Mace> Later in the afternoon we get a call from UPS
<Mace> Turns out, 1-800-742-4877 is a sex hot line
<Mace> Some people got more than they bargained for with holiday shipping...
#265546
<+arinder> evening
<&Frell> Afternoon
<+Highfarm> well hello there children...
<+arinder> i have Popsicles in my basement
<+Highfarm> is that another way of saying you´re taking it in the ass ? :D
<+arinder> wow i never thought it that way :D
<+arinder> :(
#306481
<rorski> You know how Ctrl-a-d detaches a screen session? I just accidently ran that in Outlook... which selected everything in my Inbox and deleted it.
#9178
<lovemebaybee'> hey guys asl?
<rafeil> she just wants to be loved, look at her screen name
<helminthes> so stick it to her.. a sharp knife that is
#16281
<Jugernaut> CLICK CLICK BOOM
<Jugernaut> today is pop metal day
<kaleido> haha
<kaleido> i like to refer to it as 'aluminum music'
<kaleido> since its not as strong as metal
<kaleido> and it will eventually fold up and be thrown out
#55298
<ChibiDazzy|SH> Time to finally finish Sonic Herpes.
<ChibiDazzy|SH> ...
<ChibiDazzy|SH> . . . . .
<ChibiDazzy|SH> dude
<Zero7> ...
<Zero7> XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
* Zero7 falls out of chair
<ChibiDazzy|SH> thats awesome.
<Zero7> GREATEST. TYPO. EVER.
<Proth> XDDDD
<CtrlAltDestroy> Sonic Herpes? That was so totally intentional.
<ChibiDazzy|SH> O and P are right by each other
<ChibiDazzy|SH> its an easy mistake
<CtrlAltDestroy> Oh.
#15476
<RyanRony> [Mpeg Player | 15-green day - good riddance (time of your life)
(live st paul mn 06-17-01)-svcd-ryanrony-apv.m2p | Size:58.1mb]
<hyp3r> i would like a regular vcd of that one =)
RyanRony> are u 56k
<hyp3r> yeah =)
<RyanRony> eek, heh
<RyanRony> if people fxp to 56k does it still go fast
<hyp3r> no
<RyanRony> oh
#23834
<Antioch-WTF> Incidentally, am I the only one that craves hentai featuring a single-mother two-daughter lesbian incest family?
#68976
<iV> close call tonight
<iV> on my way home from work, and this guy comes out of this alley in front of me, then runs towards me and shoves me down on the ground
<iV> he has a pistol in his hand and says "why'd you do it? tell me why i shouldn't fucking kill you right now!"
<iV> then he stops, looks at me and starts laughing...
<iV> he helps me up and he's like "haha sorry man i thought you were this other dude...whew glad i noticed the difference."
<iV> and he goes back into the alley
<iV> seriously..wtf
#299916
< Stormscape> If you watch the movie Jaws in reverse it's about a shark who throws people up until they have to open a beach
#20246
<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant
#15557
<ismell> drove like 2.5 hrs
<travolta> 15 year olds can drive?
<ismell> permit
<MattDC> shit smelly, where do you live
<ismell> colorado
<travolta> they let kids do anything in colorado, like have guns and trench coats
#25317
<RobertRence> Okay, since I've apparently got my definitions screwed up, define a hacker for me.
<Straylight> Hackers are people who dress in fruity colors and say things like "HACK THE PLANET" and hang around with Matthew Lillard and stuff
#309123
<KsM> Estrellas you're more attractive than a cat
<KsM> I mean that in the best way possible
<Estrellas> that's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me
#381
<^0_o^> i'm a girl's dream!
<^0_o^> if only i had a chance to prove myself...
<DooD> a paper bag will give u many chances
<DooD> if they cant see the face, they cant use the mace
#40003
<NotOneOfUs> http://moeboard.net/wldpdlakstp/20040921-0904-086.jpg WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS OH I KNOW
<CardboardArmor> Oh FUCK YOU NOOU
<CardboardArmor> I just failed Organic Chemistry.
<CardboardArmor> I could totally have used this anime girl's ass as a study guide.
<CardboardArmor> Wait, Br2? That isn't organic chem.
<CardboardArmor> This is regular chem.
<CardboardArmor> Never mind.
<CardboardArmor> Lots of carbon ring structures, though.
<CardboardArmor> Oh, and puffy labia. But I'm totally trying to figure out the equations on her ass.
<CardboardArmor> I'm a Chemistry fag.
<NotOneOfUs> heheh
<CardboardArmor> I'm sure some of those are unbalanced.
<CardboardArmor> Okay. On the top of her ass is Calculus. The bottom ass is chem.
<CardboardArmor> And her proofs suck.
<CardboardArmor> Totally not getting any dick if you can't balance equations and calculate derivatives correctly.
Comment: Oh the wonders of Moe.
#283502
< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
< Laura> It was lost in a move.
< Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis in a jar.
< Laura> This makes me feel better.
#8100
<meta> blegh
<meta> the internet is bad
<meta> bad bad bad
<meta> I tried to talk to a woman
<meta> but she sent me nude pics instead
<meta> I didn't want them
<meta> but I took them out of courtesy
#2812
<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses