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#297663
<~mooodi> you know how some people are wearing one white glove as a tribute to MJ?
<~mooodi> we should all grow billy mayes beards
#7355
<whyerhead> hrm. I couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a fist full of pardons
#56642
@[BONFIRE] just got the best question ever
@[BONFIRE] by some n00b
@[BONFIRE] whos trying to install an old printer
@[BONFIRE] like 15 yo
@[BONFIRE] he doesnt know why it wont work
@[BONFIRE] it keep poping up with "new hardware found"
@[BONFIRE] and he clicks cancel
@[BONFIRE] cause its not new
@[BONFIRE] >_<
#19199
<Phantom> I heard the funniest thing on DBZ today
<Phantom> "Having these balls makes me feel something approaching joy, I think. I want to caress them." --Frieza
#2016
(pedxing) it takes twenty-five muscles to frown, and only twelve to punch some wiseass in the mouth.
#336
<nullgod> I'm not quite sure who slack is for, it's harder then REdHat, so it's not for newbies, it's less secure then FreeBSD so it's not for experts, and it's not pretty so it's not for desktops.
<DigDug> slack is for linux zealots :-D
#57117
<@robert> if my grade suffers because of you, i swear to god, i will send you lots of hot porn and then toss something nasty in the middle
Comment: #wpi
#57801
<pram_handle> Google Ad:
<pram_handle> ESSAY PROOFREADERS: Our Expert Service Let's (sic) you kick back while we read!
#102982
<Crab> is it 2007 or 2008?
<Joshwang> 07
<Crab> k
<Crab> I AM IN TOUCH WITH REALITY
#1063
(nexxai) looking at porn with your dad's girlfriend in the room is weird
#265040
(floorislava) i'm going to start sleeping on the floor
(FlyingMariachi) but the floor is lava
(floorislava) OH SHIT
#37705
<@Petah> btw, drug tests are the most degrading things on the face of the earth
<@Petah> pissing on demand into a plastic cup is by far the worst thing I've had to do in a doctor's office. it trumps "turn and cough" by a mile
<@Petah> especially when you come out and hand the nurse a cup full of piss and she comments on the volume
<@Petah> FUCK YOU BITCH I HAD A LOT OF WATER!
#304840
<Flickerdart> I went to an art show that my friend had a thing at
<Flickerdart> And there was a shark made of d10s
<Flickerdart> Which was like, fuck yeah
<Fax> that's awesome
<lolfighter> Why d10s!
<lolfighter> Why not pick a platonic solid!
<Flickerdart> Maybe they tessellate better than d20s?
<lolfighter> Maybe.
<lolfighter> And maybe d6s are too mundane.
<Fax> because platonic shapes
<Fax> !shades
<Fax> are for squares
<Rhona_d`Cannith> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
#595
[%proto] Master inorder to be a successful technician, one must learn proper english and grammar
[@master-] tfu
#28937
<Kitsa> there used to be one doc who would put apple juice in a urine collection cup
<Kitsa> and walk into the patient room
<Kitsa> take a big swig
<Kitsa> and say "tastes fine to me"
<Kitsa> I always wanted to secretly switch it out with real urine
<Kitsa> the spit-take on that one would be great
#65016
<DogTheBootyHunter> dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitsonofabitch
<DogTheBootyHunter> I just missed the season finales of two of my shows...
<DogTheBootyHunter> lost track of time
<muttonduck> i watched northern exposure religiously, never missed an episode, even when joel left the series. i was watching the FINAL episode with five mins to go when my 3 yr old daughter fellover in the hallway and banged her head. By the time I got back to the TV the show was finished.
<muttonduck> Now my son is my favourite child.
#3230
<NtG> you know theres one thing I love about the internet
<NtG> theres such a multitude of repulsive fat ugly chick pictures
#115098
<Lars44> ...
<Borealis> What's that, all the punctuation that you forgot to put in earlier?
Comment: irc.waypasteleven.com, #n
#54649
Leonard G: Welcome to HP Total Care. My name is Leonard. How may I assist you today?
some body: hi, how do you turn a computer on?
Leonard G: Please press the power button on the front panel of the system tower.
some body: is that the button marked power?
Leonard G: Yes, the big button in the front panel of the system tower.
some body: oh, I see a small socket
some body: what the hell, I just got electrocuted
Leonard G: I apologize for that.
#27658
[GrasMan] when i heard that holly jones' murderer was a software developer for MDS i though 'Hey, that means a job opening'
#3846
<d1cer> omfg
<d1cer> i just shit the bigest shit in the world
<d1cer> :/
<d1cer> it was like a fucking legg
<LivinDead> lol
<LivinDead> how big was it?
<d1cer> umm
<d1cer> k
<d1cer> hold on leme get my ruler
#11042
(@MpTaNk) today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
#29880
<timovgod> I was in a rape awarness class once, well... my picture was.
#15319
<Hack4Kix> There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
<Hack4Kix> "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
<Hack4Kix> "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
<Hack4Kix> "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "N, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
<Shao> g-eh
#302305
<Havoc> Fax: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kilpqiM_To
<Symphony> [YouTube]: Title: US Pole Dance Finals 2009 Championship Highlights | By: lastdon6585 (uploaded on October 19, 2009) | Duration: 2mins 54secs | Views: 2,689 | Rating: 5.0 (5 ratings)
<Havoc> Clicketh
<Fax> seen it
<Fax> is that one where the chick falls off?
<Havoc> I'm offended nobody informed me of such an event.
<Havoc> No lol
<Fax> maybe that's the blooper tape
<Fax> one chick climbs all the way up to the top of the pole
<Fax> then does the upside-down spread eagle thing
<Fax> and slips
<Havoc> Ouch
<Fax> she, like, dislocated her shoulder
<Fax> it was about as painful to watch as those videos of idiot skateboarders sterilizing themselves by repeatedly mashing their nutsacks into bannisters
<Fax> that is to say, wince-inducing but still lol-worthy
<Havoc> Darwin's theory at its finest.