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#3389
<Ad0> anyone got monsters inc?
<Ad0> my gf wants to see it
<Idler> Ad0: No, but I got a monster in my pants
<Idler> and I bet your girlfriend wants to see that
#1345
<Orm-Riva> I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
<Illandir> ...
<Orm-Riva> Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you.
#300960
Also, I came up with the best Metal band name ever
Are you ready?
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
That’s it! Parenthesis, seeking female keyboardist, exclamation point, end-parenthesis. That way, every flyer for your show, you’d make whatever band was above you on the flyer seem like total posers.: Imagine the following on a telephone pole near you:
**************************
12/06 at The Pound, all ages:
BIOHAZARD
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
DISCONFORMITY
************************
or:
***********************
12/19 at CBGBs:
SLAYER
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
NILE
DEATHCOOCH DEBACLE
SOCIOPATHIC REMRANT
***********************
#301336
<allesklar> So I went to the bar. Asked for a drink Haitian style. The bartender looked at my funny, I said Shaken, not Stirred
#14833
--> guest (~SportsCar@166.111.6.93) has joined #lgl
* guest ´ó½Ð£º¾ÈÃü°¡£¡ ¾ÈÃü°¡£¡
<khalek> you seem to be a little mixed up
<khalek> this is not #perl
#18280
[dozer] if i say what i wanted to say i'd probably get quoted/laughed at so i'm not going to
#3089
<[ric]> are you going to start wearing clothes after the court case?
#61053
Kat: They should make a NetFlicks for books!
Cassandra: they do
Cassandra: its called the library
#16744
<Joelz> im gonna savet hgis log so I can prove im drunk
#142884
<Elliotd123> How many members of a certain demographic does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Elliotd123> A finite number. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.
#30929
<MeatLamp> they lie when they say that crack gets u addicted once - it took me 5 or 6 times to get addicted to the stuff
<garry> same with sniffing underwear
#307675
<kokoretsi>downloaded a 1925 film and spent 5 minutes looking for subs. I then realise it's a silent film :|
#7609
<xorg> If I say "Eject" and you say "What?", you'll be talking to yourself.
#8356
<Nev|Away> When did I pick on you, you ugly little horrible turd?
<Nev|Away> Give me your lunch money.
#14100
<mommiebear44> so max....how long have you stopped smoking for?
<|non_smoking_max|> let me see ....... about 1 hour 30 min ...
#7877
<craving> I had a great dream last night. I was a servant of Satan, and in return for my services he had given me this enormouse house on the side of a mountain. It had a big balcony and a great bookshelf. I was a little nervous, though, because He had eaten my predecessor alive.
#6006
<Kaje> my friend at camp brought his psx and gathered us all into his room to watch him beat it
#1585
<vortex502> 3+5
<vortex502> oops
<vortex502> thought i had the calculator prog. open
#43604
<Rob-iwiwc> imagine if the pope got up now
<Rob-iwiwc> think that might cause an increase in catholics?
<@HPZ> Rob-iwiwc: that's a damned good idea. They should've planned it that way.
<@HPZ> What a brilliant recruitment strategy.
<sprawl_gnome> worked for Jesus
Comment: #fark
#299352
Psi: and when we went down to the place where they serve food, i noticed 1 guy who i am willing to call a friend standing in the corner, as if he was hiding, when i was getting some coke from a table near wherehe was, i asked him what was up, he told me 'trust me, youd wanna stand here too, oh and dont eat any of the food' then he asked me if i wanted a shot of bourbon in my coke, so i just assumed he was drunk at the moment, and went and sat down near my dad. then this old dude sits down beside me, i look at him and he just very creepily smiled back, so i went and stood by my friend. that was when i noticed you could see into the kitchen from where he was standing. and THAT was when i noticed they were not only reusing disposable plates and food people didnt eat. the kitchen staff was going as far as to pick the shit out of a garbage bin to re use it.
Psi: i decided to take that shot of bourbon he offered.
#6870
Brucha: I've heard a Kirk/Spock/Scotty slash done similarily. It haunts my nightmares, I don't need a wrestling equivalent added. :) "The Vulcan emotion is strong and powerful...I, I can't contain it all..." "You get that thing away from him!"
Jim Smith: So, Kirk and Spock had an orgy and didn't invite Bones? I mean, who's gonna give you more gay sex satisfaction? A Scotsman? Or a guy named "Bones"?
Brucha: Something like that... Scotty stumbles upon them, tries to break it up, and then falls to the passion...
Jim Smith: He's such a slut...
TangleToy: *wipes off screen* I swear. Why I bother trying to drink anything while in here is beyond me.
#44022
<%Sim> they've called here
<%Sim> and said "Where are you?"
<%Sim> well, my brother has
<%Sim> I'm like
<%Sim> Where do you fucking thing I am? You called the house in which we live.
<%Sim> I'm in fucking africa
<%Sim> on safari
<%Sim> gtg elephant
#299002
Riomerc: The only problem with it is that it's an eco-smart community
Riomerc: And anything with the words "Ecological", "Green" or "Environmentalist" and any combination and permutation therein, plus the word "Smart" "Intelligent" or "Friendly" and any comination or permutation therein makes me want to extract my eyes from their orbits with a rusted spork, rape them, and then stick my dick in an oven and slam the door on it until it either burns to a crisp, gets so much damage that it falls off or I black out from pain.
PaperStrike: D:
Riomerc: And, of course, it would be a low-star-rated oven, so I could put a dent in their bullshit whilst I'm mutiliating myself.
#53511
<LagIsNewYear> spencers is where i shop for my gfs gifts
<LagIsNewYear> no where else in teh mall had a place for dildos but spencers did, so i wanted to check if they had any right and i look it up online and call em up
<LagIsNewYear> and i ask if they have any dildos or whatever and there is a woman who goes...uhhh no we do NOT carry those..
<LagIsNewYear> so i angerily went into the mall and checked myself and spencers ended up having it
<LagIsNewYear> and hten i realised i called a differnt spencers...one for kids clothing
#21746
<spectre> fear, frank is one of power rangers.
<spectre> the pink one.
<Frank> spec shut up. I used to be red but my mum washed it at a too high temperature and it faded :(