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#6892
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN
#668
<homerj> I wish I had a detachable penis
<homerj> then when I went out as a woman, I wouldn't have to tape it up
#292
<skunko> dammit
<skunko> how do you get past the metallica ban on napster
<AlmtyBob> not liking crap music is a start
#1212
<g> <FedAg455> hey wanna meet with me for some sex? im 13/f/canada, wanna meet in usa in front of brooklyn police department?
<g> <cooey> how do i know you are 14 D:
#40755
<Crispy> New Studies show that an American's attention span is
#1711
<Zorglub> will php work on old browsers?
#48240
* shaine burps.
<Siege> ah great, now it smells like dick in here.
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us
#5614
<quatoria> you shat on your daughter? disgusting pervert.
<Plaid> No, you freak. I puked on her.
#50332
<BlackDeth> flipping through the channels i stumbled on that religion channel
<BlackDeth> and the guy is saying how now with mpeg4 digital compression they can broadcast several versions of their show simultaneously
<BlackDeth> then he went on to say how its gods plan and how mpeg came to us from god to spread his word
<BlackDeth> that was the best shit ive ever seen
#16509
<yesyouam> marijuana and unix permissions don't mix
#3944
(seiki) &google inflatable+goat
(fnet) Google (inflatable+goat): http://www.vacationbibleschool.com/v_newfeatures.html
#164080
<Stueh> Well I think the turning point in our relationship was when I said something weird (as a joke) and kinda freaked her out
<DamnedPixie> and that was?
<Stueh> Well we were having sex
<Stueh> And I wanted to say something for a laugh
<Stueh> So I was like "I wish I were you right now."
#43842
<Lacey> int *y; for (int i = 0; i < 1000; i++) { y = &y; }
<Lacey> Someone handed that to me and asked: "Why doesn't it work"
<Lacey> I stared at it and finally asked "What do you think it is supposed to even do?!?!"
<dfryer> what did they want it to *do*?
<Lacey> They thought it was a linked list...
Comment: #planeshift
#11238
<Drew```> I really dont appriciate my sister saying "oh, close your eyes andrew, I already took off my pants outside"
#51854
<Mark> oh yeah. so my roommate got me to sit down and play need for speed underground on the xbox. he thought it would be funny because i was drunk, so i would fuck up, and he would laugh at me. except i ended up doing better and beating a bunch of races i wasnt able to do sober.
<Mark> which means im a better driver when im drunk
<Mark> i just have to find a way to explain that to the police.
#92689
<Therrol> I just send something to robyn that I did not mean to
<Allison> well depending on what it is it may not matter
<Allison> or it really could result in a mess..
<Therrol> I told her I was going to kill her and have sex with her eyesockets
<Allison> every time that goes through my head it just gets worse
#17298
<xenothrope> WHO IS THE MOST TALENTED PRON STAR?!?!
<hoho> ron jeremy
<[H]Lasuuco> me
<[H]Lasuuco> i can wack off on command
<xenothrope> peter north owns jeremy
<hoho> nah
<isajeep> ummm
<[H]Lasuuco> lol
<isajeep> im not prepared to argue the better parts of male porn stars
<NickBlasta> dont lie jeep
<hoho> jeep, im going by the fact that the guy is fat, ugly, and old but still gets laid every day.
<isajeep> I said im not prepared...I don't have my slides ready
<xenothrope> lmao jeep
<isajeep> hoho thats because he(like me) has mastered his body
<NickBlasta> ROFL
<isajeep> wait
<hoho> so you're fat and ugly like him?
<isajeep> that might sund wrong
<isajeep> *sound
#29572
<[SoC]_Runaway> ( " ) FUCK U TERRORIST
<PwOBeH> ROFL
<Terrorist> WHY?
<PwOBeH> Someone woke up the wrong side of the WTC today didn't they
#14301
<McMoo> i need to start making a list of crap i need to buy for my new place
<timmo> 1) food
<var-> 3 gallons vaseline, subscriptoin to hustler, 100 cases of ramen
<timmo> hah
<kisama> heh
<kisama> vaseline isn't even that great
<kisama> fuck that pussy shit
<kisama> you need astroglide
<kisama> and a set of japanese wack mittens
<kisama> let me link you
<kisama> http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://images.jlist.com/c2/jr6992.jpg&x=573&y=500
<kisama> One of the tools used by soap girls is a rubber "magical mitten" which works with soap as lubricant for a great feel. This is a super soft rubber sheet that is held in the hand and used to clean anything you might want to clean.
<var-> haha
<timmo> you scare me snow
<kisama> just trying to ensure a soapland experience in the privacy of your own home.
#296750
Zerox: are you black
Eris: yes
Zerox: tell me the truth
Eris: I took a quiz online
Eris: it told me I'm black
#304158
<welandB> God dammit.
<welandB> I went to the Renaissance Festival and hit it off with a girl so I tore off a piece of paper from the map and wrote down my number for her.
<welandB> So my friend tears off more pieces and writes down "Call Nate for gay sucking and fucking" with my phone number.
<welandB> And starts handing them out.
<welandB> So I take them away from him and stuff them in my pocket.
<welandB> My cat just dragged one right to my mom.
<welandB> We just had a sit-down talk where I had to clarify that I am not soliciting sex from strange men.
#33067
· · ChanMode : Sexy sets mode [ +o ] mi||i0n
[ @mi||i0n ] (&) join synced in 3 minutes and 43.281 seconds.
! @mi||i0n claps
[ @mi||i0n ] a new record
[ @mi||i0n ] :(
[ @\user\bin ] lovely
[ @\user\bin ] thats some serious AOL pwnage
#304514
<@nukespoon> okay so a bit of a crisis
<@nukespoon> the project folder for this program is called "cuntbollocks"
<@nukespoon> i have to upload this in 15 minutes
<@nukespoon> and i don't know how to rename it without fucking shit up
#39865
<@fez> .dice -1
<@Q> fez: A 2139451499 shows on the -1-sided die.
Comment: #maddox on irc.whatnet.org
#310954
<mischa> i was just yelling at oracle world people on the street
<mischa> told them oracle is trash and to get a real DB
<mischa> you heard of postgres? it’s dope, free, scales like a motherfucker, open source and YOU DONT HAVE TO SUCK LARRY ELLISON’S COCK
<mischa> sup bro? you use oracle? it’s no good dude, get a real database
<mischa> one guy seemed really angry i was bothering him, he said he actually works at oracle, looked really grim