Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#38015
<Jaime> this asshole pops up on my msn and he's like
<Jaime> "I hate Indians...they never use smilies, just metaphors and shit"
<Jaime> and I was like...what?
<Jaime> and he's like I'm writing a book report and I have to find a smilie
<Jaime> and I go...why would a book have a smilie?
<Jaime> and then he goes...can you read? I said simile (which he did when I re-read it)
#26371
fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best"
#266270
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
#18880
<rdgzt> I went through my logs and looked for funny stuff.
<rdgzt> In fact, I grepped for "haha" with 10 lines of context before.
#18622
<InterPhantom> Man... I was gonna make a crack about some wierd venirial disease.... but that'd prolly be in poor taste... ;P
<InterPhantom> venereal? Good god... could they make a more complicated word???
<InterPhantom> venerial?
<InterPhantom> Oh screw it. Oh wait... nevermind... don't do that... it'll start this vicious cycle over again
#2728
<neutrl> i don't have any tables
<mAimZ> da wheels 'o steel...
<mAimZ> you should get some... And get all your favorite tunes on LP... It's more fun than 4 hookers and a jimmy hat!
<hypr> i highly doubt that
#25179
<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less}
#17217
<PuyoDead> gahaha, I'm watching some porn live cam, and the girl is just sitting there eating doughnuts
#6098
<#seattle/ThisGirl> SONOFABITCH
<#seattle/ThisGirl> i hate it when ppl ask me if im male or female
#266051
<PandaFister> pedo = feet or love of the ground
<OliveTower> America spells it pedophile
<@PandaFister> because their FUCKING STOOPID
<@PandaFister> do I have to go through the whole pedo/paedo explination
<@PandaFister> e.g. a pedometer counts how many footsteps you've made
<@PandaFister> and a paedometer counts how many children you've fucked
#7601
<Felix1> i just got 2070 on ski
<lud> I finished Minesweeper ... custom game, two mines I mean, out of 500 squares
#206039
<Kidsune> Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but i'm gonna go down on you...
<Kidsune> And you're gonna love it...
<Kidsune> But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it...
<Kidsune> Then i'm gonna come back up again and fuck you, big time...
<Kidsune> Lots of love,
<Kidsune> Fuel Prices
#296722
* bermejo (n=bermejo@151.Red-83-61-11.dynamicIP.rima-tde.net) has joined ##freebsd
<bermejo> hi all
<bermejo> how do you split hdd of 500GB in partition for mail/web server ¿?
<silverblade> Precision cutting with a junior hacksaw
<hiredman> I draw a line and toss the hard drive into the air
<hiredman> what lands west of the line is for the web, east for the mail
<silverblade> high powered lasers
<ecmuller> in all seriousness though
<ecmuller> ninjas
#9494
<normaliamnot> u ppl here about this building, i think it called, trade center, or big trade center or something?
<normaliamnot> it broken
#305330
<Hadley> PONY WANNA SEE MY DICK
<Pony> no, hadley. I am strictly in the vagina business
<Hadley> Pony: you should consider expanding your market! i have some brochures about the penis market, if you'd like
<Pony> why have more penis if you already have one yourself
<Pony> it's like buying a second iphone. it's pointless and not usefull
<Hadley> Pony: like the iphone, a penis lacks multitasking, which is where investing in multiples comes in handy
<Pony> then it's still overkill, hadley. the second one should be an ipad or ipod in that case
<Hadley> Pony: so... if i get the analogy correctly... you're only interested in a penis if it's twice as big as your current one?
<Pony> yes
<Hadley> THEN HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS FOR YOU
#43969
<sektie> my boyfriend, in mid thrust, stops and goes "oops" and gets a sheepish look on his face.
<sektie> NOT A GOOD APRIL FOOLS.
#31921
<Wallrod> i hate having my room right next to the bathroom
<Wallrod> i have to hear my dad take a shit
<Wallrod> EVEN DEATH METAL DOESNT COVER ALL THE FREQUENCIES MY DAD'S ASS BROADCASTS ON
#171592
<Jonis> fuckit
<Jonis> going out for a pack of fags
<stan> leaving efnet to find a pack of fags? seems counterproductive.
Comment: efnet #ampedout
#45418
<dil_dil> Seriously, I had mice as pets when I was a kid. Eventually, a LOT of mice. So I built a cage so I could separate the males and females. That's about when I learned you don't build a mouse cage out of particle board...
<dil_dil> After they chewed their way out of the cage, I'd hear my mother screaming in the middle of the night as they climbed up the curtains in her bedroom.
#4280
<O_6> here is my autobiography in 50 lines:
<O_6> wtf
<O_6> goddamn keyboard
<O_6> f;aowheif;oawuhe;faouw\hfe;oauwhfe!
<matts> interesting autobiography
#1208
<mike> how do you make a dead baby a submarine
<Ron> hmm i don't know mike
<Ron> how do you
<mike> you fill it with seamen
#301957
<SnowGryphon> At a local internet cafe, I saw the most curious sight - a young man running a browser in a virtual machine and posting on PS3-centric forums. I became aware of the fact that the virtual machine software was linking the host and the VM so that the VM could use the net. Thus, I was given the rare privilege of witnessing an actual troll under a (NAT) bridge.
#299720
<+anosou> You're like the best man around
<+anosou> If there was a god of some kind, he'd be proud to have made you
<+anosou> If internet was full of women (which it is not) they would sleep with you
<+anosou> If zircon says something is S-tier, you say it isn't
<+anosou> If you were black, the southeners would still like you
<+anosou> If you moved to Japan, you'd become tentacle pope of the world
Comment: #ocremix
#27875
<ShadowSkillz> damn i got this allergy in my eyes its killin me =[
<The_Ham|RT> :o
<The_Ham|RT> poke ito ut
<The_Ham|RT> out
<ShadowSkillz> demostration plz
<The_Ham|RT> o_O ---
<The_Ham|RT> o_O ---
<The_Ham|RT> o_O---
<The_Ham|RT> o_x---
#20457
<juri_> calc thread_saftey_dance
<algorithm> o/~ we can thread if we want to/ we can leaving blocking IO behind / but if your libs don't lock (and it seems they don't lock)
then they're no libs of mine. we can block if we want to/ setjmp()? longjmp()? never mind! / and we can act like select() is all
a bad dream / with a scheduler to hide behind o/~