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#16138
<Shea-> it makes me giggle like a giddy asian schoolgirl on a rainbow brite pony
<Shea-> mmmm pony.
#309987
<agocs_work> It's like the US's war debt to france
<agocs_work> "Nope, we don't owe _you_, we owe the old French monarchy!"
<agocs_work> sux2bu4revolting
<r4v5> if you liked it then you shoulda kept a king on it
#62999
<pr3d4t0r> loke__: I long for the days when Mexico had electoral fraud, Russia lacked freedom, and the US was a beacon of hope instead of the other way around.
#56801
<LabMonkey> damnit
<LabMonkey> there went my afternoon
<LabMonkey> THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE, KARMA
<KArmA> its what I do
<KArmA> try and be a better person
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#306605
<@Matthew> had a weird dream last night, some doctors told me that my spine was fucked
<@Matthew> first they were very helpful promising to get it fixed, then they found out i didn't have private health insurance
< ulber> the american dream
#8094
<Perforator\zzz> my grandma was going thru my room today for some ungodly reason and found some of my gf's clothes she "accidently" left here.
<Perforator\zzz> i'm all, "i like to wear black panties, DAMNIT"
#29052
<czechreck> Hey.. I was totally shit faced, I could have impreagnated my dog and not known untill I got an ugly litter
#3465
<f9|war3beta> These Mint Skittles taste like shit.
<Brentai> MINT SKITTLES?
<JDigital> f9: Tell me about it. Over here, we call the green ones "Excre-mint".
<JDigital> Alternatively known as "New car smell" flavour.
#14237
<Armiatge> When I was 5
<Armiatge> I got a penny stuck in my nose
<Armiatge> Man.... good times...good times..
#40323
02:45:47 [dbcalo] UK DOCTORS have discovered a form of hypochondria which is developed by surfing the web and misdiagnosing your own illnesses, according to a new study.
03:32:21 [Rn] i'm at a loss for words
03:32:22 * Rn googles
03:33:11 [Rn] oh my god i have Motor Neuron Disease
#17168
<Fishfood> HAHAH
<Fishfood> BT ARGUING WITH AOL
<Fishfood> ITS LIKE BLIND FIGHTING THE BLIND!
<Funk> WITH THE RETARDED COMMENTATING
#20517
<SteamedHams> jesus christ, it's not like insulting zirc is blasphemy for gods sake
<SteamedHams> fucking hell
<SteamedHams> moses cunt
<SteamedHams> apostle gayrape
#6353
<Eurotik> MSN is fucked up
<Eurotik> I can't even get on IE
#30453
<@JFeeple> I love this commercial.... KFC's "healthy" pitch
<@JFeeple> bad enough when Subway does it, but at least that one is more or less true if you get the right sandwich *and* if you put on the right condiments *and* if you don't wreck it by getting chips
<@Orca> And don't get a drink
<@Orca> (or get a diet drink)
<@Orca> a large softdrink is loaded with calories
<@JFeeple> unsweetened ice tea is fine
<@JFeeple> but fried chicken? yeah, sure, it's better than a whopper. There is a term for that.. it's "damning with faint praise"
<@Orca> "Fried chicken - it's better than getting run over by a truck!"
#297184
<roxylucy> omg did i tell you what embarrassing thing happened to me the other day?
<hedgab> not that i know of
<roxylucy> ok. well, i was visiting my friend in the hospital
<hedgab> yeah
<roxylucy> and so i was leaving
<roxylucy> but in the next room, i noticed a man covered in machinery, shivering.
<roxylucy> and i thought that was sad, so i pulled the blanket up for him
<roxylucy> and, with his breathing mask on, says, "can you see if my testicles are black"
<hedgab> omg really?
<roxylucy> i tried to decline, but he looked so frail and desperate
<roxylucy> so i checked to make sure no one was looking
<roxylucy> and i looked at it and it was just fine
<hedgab> haha ok
<roxylucy> so i was like, "nope, none of it is black"
<roxylucy> and he takes off his mask and says, "can you see if my test results are back"
#42655
<Geoff> I caught my son downloading a file called 'hot redhead takes it up the ass and loves it'
<Geoff> I was appalled
<Geoff> She was blonde and was giving hand jobs :(
#45135
JonathanThompson: I made the statement several years ago that it was only a short time before Intel branched into heating/cooling for revenue, as a side-effect of their processors. Imagine: they could hook up 100 x86 processors under the floorboards of a home, and all you'd need is to run some computationally intensive software to heat the house and compute something: the cycles could be sold to some purpose, like routing the net...
#142667
<Turra> the 5th element is awesome
<Kar> Boron?
Comment: #TGi
#101437
<Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat, I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a horny female in my entire life...cool.'
<Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
<Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever said.
<Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.
#61358
< withnail> i read a true story in a book today, cracked me up. these guys are on a picket line for striking dock workers or something, and they have a snowman there with a toy cops helmet on and a frown made of stones there. anyway, a senior police officer in his range rover drives past and calls over some of the policemen supervising the picket asking about the snowman and saying he wanted it gone (what a dick) the other police said "well we feel a bit silly kicking down their snowman" so the top brass guy goes "fine! i'll do it myself!" and drives into the snowman......what he didn't know was
< withnail> that it was built over a concrete bollard. wrecked seven shades of shit out of his car
#43098
* Beska changes topic to 'next one to change the topic is gya'
* Beska changes topic to 'next one to change the topic is gay'
#39681
<utopian> I can see something like this in #jesus
<utopian> RTFB
<utopian> Read The Fucking Bible
Comment: #geekissues acronym game
#76
<MTrez> ok, about 1 million of my potential children just got introduced to some downy tissue, so im gonna sleep now, im tired
#60940
<@Rjx> i still wonder why vegetarians aren't more pissed at animals
<@Rjx> i mean your average lion eats far more meat in a day than i do
#5500
<Hahn> Zara, have you ever killed anyone with a crowbar during a soccer riot?
<Zaratustra> Didn't have the chance.
<Hahn> That sounds like an excuse to me.