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#54703
MofattP: bleh, I'm fighting a sinus infection. My snot looks like a fruit loops commercial
MofattP: Green Mucus!
MofattP: Yellow Chunks!
MofattP: Red Streaks!
MofattP: Follow your nose!
MofattP: If it had marshmellow suprises, I could market my snot as a breakfast cereal.
#68954
<MrZodiac> oh man
<MrZodiac> this is so awkward
<MrZodiac> This girl who I boink now and again is in an open relationship with a dude I knew in college
<MrZodiac> This past weekend she and I made merry, and I threw ropey jets of jism all over her and some of the furnature we were making merry on
<MrZodiac> And I used a towel to clean her and the furnature off
<MrZodiac> So the guy sends me a myspace IM today asking me which towel I used
<MrZodiac> ugh
<MrZodiac> I feel weird
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#36221
<_Dim_> w0000t, just got an email with a picture taken by a mobilephone
<_Dim_> the fun part is, it's an image of the test im getting tomorrow :D
#70993
<@TheWickerMan> God damn, this one halloween last year. Some kid came up to our house.
<@TheWickerMan> Now this is the kind of kid who's constantly cursing, throwing fits about nothing, hitting his parents/siblings, complaning about everything, and just acts like an all-around douchebag.
<@TheWickerMan> I gave the kid like 3 fun sized M&Ms and he just yells to me, "NO FAG I WANTED THE TWIX INSTEAD YOU DUMBASS."
<@TheWickerMan> I replied back with "I'm sure your mother didn't want you either, but we can't all have our ways now can we?."
#37601
<Deedux> speaking of food, I don't get it
<Deedux> when I was eating like a fat ass, my dumps were all normal and, for the most part, pleasant
<KArmA-> that's not what your tummy says
<Deedux> but now that I've been exercising and eating salads and what not, my ass is like celine dion
<Deedux> indiscriminantly spewing excrement
Comment: #couch on EFnet
#308510
<JCDenton> Am I the only one who seems to spend more time fixing stupid trivial errors when programming than real issues?
<nathan28> JCDenton: lolwut
<nathan28> that is programming
#42576
<+vacuumo> I get nickalerted when people say anything containing 'vac'
<+Svip> I like vacpie.
<+Moto> I vacuumed my house today
<Goodfella> ass vac
<+Moto> Hey, have any of your steam accounts got vac'd yet?
<+EmSixTeen> Shake n' Vac
<&Segosa> vaca = cow in spanish.
<+Steven> packer vac
<+Rotten> i wanna go on vacation soon \:
<Goodfella> I got vac shit
<+Svip> You just had to say it, vacuumo?
#29400
<oreo> If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
#7123
<Grant> Hey, you know what the biggest problem with all current MMOGs is?
<Mako> insufficient boobage
<Grant> That too.
#695
<Def|CS> Porn has a neat psychological sidebit...it's like, these people are giving up their dignity so you have something to look at to entertain yourself. It's power :O
#29029
<manda> you know, to get a degree, you have to think about something other than your dick for more than 5 seconds
<AchtunG`> i know but its hard
#3888
<nitrifik_> wtf? that's blazemore? he looks 12!
<P2E> maybe that's why he has so much porn
#50443
(elus) oh one bum was taking money in exchange for verbal abuse
(elus) my friend gave him 1 dollar and bitched him out
(BlackDeth) you can bitch out bums for free
(BlackDeth) he got ripped off
#32438
<Bringa> Anal Probe Day!
<Bringa> Oh no wait that was yesterday.
<DarkGod> ....
<Bringa> DarkGod: Do you have a highlight on anal probe?
<Bringa> Or just on anal?
<Bringa> :P
Comment: An inopportune time to end a long idle period
#76126
<nuculeron> ugh
<nuculeron> my moron friend got this new system in his car
<nuculeron> with this huge ass woofer
<nuculeron> and his plate popped off from the rattling
<nuculeron> right in front of a cop
#34090
<Drathian> does anyone know how to recover a lost sex drive.........
<PsyMar> yeah,try reformatting
Comment: #zebeth dreamIRC
#60729
<c-rOCK> you cant give blood if youve had buttsex with a man since 1976 though doesnt that disqualify you
<Catcher> haha
<Catcher> giving or receiving?
<jestuh> busted.
<Catcher> DAMN
#24947
-Skandranon- Sorry for this services thing. Some 13-year old never-get-a-date is flooding us again. Perhaps once he realizes there are two types of people (boy people, and girl people) he'll find something else to do. [global message, all replies will be fed to some animal]
#40051
<Drift3r> !acronym gnu
<Bynarr> Result for "gnu": Gnu's Not Unix
<El-Fish> !acronym MS
<Bynarr> Result for "MS": Combination of Miss and Mrs. (title of address for women)
<Drift3r> !acronym php
<Bynarr> Result for "php": PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor (HTML-embedded scripting language)
<@w00t> !acronym arse
<Bynarr> Result for "arse": Americans for a Responsible Sanitary Experience in the Outdoors
Comment: irc.netronet.com
#299673
<@jen> help my mom get a demonoid account? damn thing wont let me give her an invite since were same ip :-(
<+Ailieron> Why don't you just let your mom use your account?
<~Fax> then her mom will know that Jen's been dl-ing yaoi again
<@jen> the last time i downloaded yaoi was when mom forced me to find brokeback mountain
#765
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun
#35182
<@Joker4ever> They had a really wierd special on today at Silver City today...
<@Joker4ever> Use the washroom and get 2 free admission
<%Ark> Offer expires when the theatre staff wise up
#57613
<Troglodyte> Dude everyone gets crushes on me until they get to know me
<Troglodyte> I'm so good at faking being awesome at first but then I lose it after a while
<Troglodyte> It's like hula-hooping
<Troglodyte> You can only keep it going for so long before your hips get tired
#33813
<motolov> why arent the fat girls honest at least
<motolov> like, hobbies: eating, stuffing my face until my colon hurts
<motolov> etc.
#57319
* ozy is now known as ozy[suicide]
<ozy[suicide]> BRB
<Spack> Ozy must be a Buddhist
Comment: #almea on freedomirc