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#25611
<sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
<Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
<iTM> wtf
<Ronwe> that' just pathetic
<sean> yes, many MANY times
<Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never to a barbie doll
<Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some decent porn to smack to
<Astro> lol
<iTM> Charsi's ass?
<Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
<Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
<Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash
#8457
<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)
#12200
<@jade> i wanna jenny jones makeover
<@skold> 1-800-96-jenny?
<@jade> NOT JENNY CRAIG
#56160
<ddrfreak> 58 points
<ddrfreak> 7 deaths
<ddrfreak> I AM A FUCKIN MACHINE!
<yeats> You killed 7 people during sex?
#300860
<spigwitmerdicks> so i had this cool dream where i was in the hospital in a body cast and could only communicate with pen & paper, which for some reason i drew a dick on a paper that i gave back to a nurse. a bunch of a nurses and doctors then gathered around it puzzled by the possible interpretations of what i wanted while i just laughed my ass off cause i just felt like drawing a fucking dick
#28303
<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now.
#18333
Larry: I'm to go eat. People get hungry sometimes.
Juan: I hope you put clothes on b4 you went
<30 mins later>
Larry: fuck
Larry: that's why they were looking at me funny
#28593
<Kaboon> hehehe\
<Kaboon> Just threw water over my keyboard
<Rocker> :)
* Rocker pees on keyboard
* Rocker has quit IRC
#307472
<Jessica_Lily> yeh i gave my mac a drink of cider
<Jessica_Lily> turned out not to like it
<Jessica_Lily> keyboard, hdd and trackpad stopped working
<moylan1> ironic that a mac can't handle apple juice?
#18884
·bdjuf· Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
·bdjuf· Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
·bdjuf· "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
#307252
HelgeSverre: ....
Lemmiwinks: You make some very good points
Lemmiwinks: .,.,, mine are all wonky
#33459
<PeteriD> Ah, yes, online insult wars
<PeteriD> It's all fun and games 'til someone's Christian mom finds the logs.
<PeteriD> >.<
Comment: DOH!
#48605
<Trinity_Quasar> Quick, give me your extended (a few sentences) views on teen pregnancy for my socio work it's due in tomorrow. :-/!
<LionsPhil> "I think teen pregancy is largely due to unpreparedness. Much like the kind of unpreparedness which sees one writing an essay the night before it is due and having to ask for help on the Internet."
#14190
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#2360
(Matt^^^) I got an A+ in home ec, cuz I helped marinate the teacher's fish, if you know what I mean
#1678
<SEoD> ooooh, my mac is gorgeous
<SEoD> it's so expensive and see-thru
<Xlord> sounds like some women I know
#308634
<Pryoidain> NTP Protocol helped me to isolate a plumbing problem in the apartment before the people on site could figure it out.
<asaph> ...what?
<Pryoidain> Well I get this call saying there's a leak in the apartment below me, they need permission to enter to navigate it and solve the problem, so i grant them it. Now I'm swamped, so when things calm down I do the logical thing
<Pryoidain> I checked ishi's NTP Pool Server monitoring page, and pulled up the CSV file to look at epoch times.
<Pryoidain> Last time the server pinged it was like 5 minutes before.
<Pryoidain> From this I knew that the leak could not be from the furnace/ac as that is in the server room (I know I know, but its the coldest room) and if water hit any of the routers or anything or the mains, UPS would have turned off the server.
<Pryoidain> Next I worked back. Can't be in any of the exterior walls, thats where the wires run and the socket for the Main router in the small bedroom is. Server goes through that router.
<Pryoidain> The modem is in the master bedroom, which shares a wall with the bathroom, so I was worried, but if it's still up then no shorts there or anything freaky going on, because, well, NTP responses are still sub millisecond.
<Pryoidain> And finally, It can't be in the kitchen, because for whatever dumbfuck reason the outlets in the kitchen and the server room are the same circuit, and the Garbage disposal outlet is UNDER the pipes and isn't a GFCI (yet) so it would have tripped the breaker killing the server, etc etc.
<Pryoidain> So its the bathroom, internal wall, on the sink or tub.
<Pryoidain> Get home, it was the bathroom sink, leak in the internal wall.
<asaph> ....
<Pryoidain> Yeah, i'm just kinda basking in this right now.
#13133
<OneiWilly> ah crap i accidently downloaded winzip again instead of winamp
#18842
<Ksilebo> Why is it I want to marry SlashChick more and more every day?
<skillio> because you dont actually know she's a man yet
#17086
<kethepoo> i remember the first time windows said "this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down", and i was worried that they found out about the porn i had looked at
#45815
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women.
#61191
<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
#28300
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"
#11924
<@tag> cant wait for zero state devices :)
<@tag> no wires, no external power
<@tag> just IS
<@Syfoon> tag, by then, we'll be 4ft high, grey, abducting stupid, fat hicks and shoving probes up their asses
#31531
<[J|F]> It's freaky when porn has good stereo sound, it feels like I forgot to turn off my speakers and everyone can hear.
<[J|F]> oh shit.