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#54993
< DMM> that reminds me of my favourite sorting algorithm
< DMM> rearrange the objects randomly using a quantum random number generator, then test to see if they are sorted. If not, destroy the universe.
< DMM> in linear time you will produce an ensemble of universes in which the objects are sorted
< zem> ooh
< zem> truly a universal sorting algorithm
#34036
<smithers> do what the chinese do
<CFC|Laptop> shoot stray animals and cook them?
Comment: irc.bordem.net - #whathappen
#1168
(snowburnt) teengirl: if you had pre in front of teen i would soooo talk to you
#5652
<JibbleWork> no amount of work would be able to get my clenched cheeks open
#42904
<BolognaMoFo> the only way I use warez is to ask where my pants are
<BolognaMoFo> warez my pants
#10659
<pplante> it doesnt seem to be getting sent to the client
<pplante> hmm what to do what to do
<omega> beat your head repeatedly with a steel post.
<pplante> tried that
<pplante> it didnt solve the problem though
<omega> do it harder, it will solve mine.
<pplante> die
#294682
<sniep> my servers are all named after computer parts so that users sound like retards asking for anything
<sniep> "i need full access to ram!"
<sniep> "why is megabytes broken?!?"
<sniep> "who rebooted hard drive??!??"
Comment: SomethingAwful
#32398
<reuben> `when you buy 55v capacitors out of the 55v capacitor bin
<reuben> always check to make sure they are all 55v capacitors
<reuben> you know, just in case you go to charge them all up and one is 15v and BLOWS THE FUCK UP
<reuben> and stinks your whole fucking room up
Comment: efnet/#lost via quotes.fuck.org
#17539
<Chronosla> RARs are the dingleberries of Satan, sent to torment me with mockery and derision.
#306526
[discussing an artist's depiction of sleep paralysis]
<Rena> also I get the demon on her chest, but why is there a horse peeking in?
<XkeeperLaptop> Freud?
<RedSnifit> It's a night mare.
#39695
<shingoki> Simple answer? Debian requires a brain the size of a planet to install. It hates all living things
<shingoki> You see when they created debian, the developers saw that it was so perfect, and so good, that it was an affront to God himself. Unable to destroy their beautiful creation, they instead vowed that it would never be installed by mortal man
<shingoki> And so they bound it forever inside an installer of such evil that no human could look upon it, yet alone use it
Comment: #blenderchat on freenode
#45698
<tamara> i can't decide if i'm hungry or tired.
<majcher> eat until you fall asleep
#32569
<`bare> mm this PCMCIA card smells soo good
<`bare> smells like fabric softener and cologne
<`bare> I can't fucking stop smelling it
<`bare> I am such a whore
<mef> insert into rectum
<rolloffle> lol
<`bare> No that would kill the good smell
<`bare> and plus it is shaped like a credit card
<`bare> doesn't fit well
<`bare> ergonomically like
<rolloffle> lol
#4380
<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.
<Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he was half-erect in his pants.
<Spork> Which he was.
#8205
<vas-assignment> i dare anyone to watch the excorcist and ay midnight and take a walk around the blok
<KINGofEXTREME> its not even scary man
<vas-assignment> bullshit
<vas-assignment> everyone tells me its scary
<KINGofEXTREME> the first hour is arabs digging in a desert
<KINGofEXTREME> that shit scared teh fuck out of me
#297561
<ProtoTom> WTF's a woofer?
<Jizzle> It's a special speaker reserved for making "woof" sounds in some songs
<Jizzle> WHO LET THE DOGS OUT for instance
<ProtoTom> seriously?
<MACROX> yeah...the runtime complexity of producing that sound was way to high
<MACROX> so they implemented it in harware
#32042
<Kurt> :P
<Kurt> when I die, that's all I want on my grave stone
<Kurt> :P
<gumby_jd> :/
<Helleshin> somehow I'm not surprised
<Kurt> and maybe "owned" really tiny in the corner
#17380
<SLC> there is a new mp3 addon in the defalt mIRC-releases!!
<SLC> if ya wan to hear a Backstreet Boys song then type /quit playing games with my heart
<SLC> some guy i just talked to said so!! he said it only worked with that song at first, to make it active!!
*** SLC (badass@pc248.cab60a.comtrade.ee) Quit (playing games with my heart)
#70213
<JamesF1> I was sat in a lecture today at Uni, and I saw drawn on the desk:
<JamesF1> "I graduate in 6 weeks, and I'm still immature enough to draw on desks"
<cmad> rofl!
Comment: The joys of Cardiff University...
#17946
<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a pretty tricky business
#29264
<Neverender> 0_o
<Neverender> why does my hand smell of urine?
<Cathode> You pissed on it?
<Neverender> ah, yes...
Comment: #pcgf on GamesNet
#14624
(WoHo): im as pure as a virgin :D
(Lachlann): take out the 2nd, 3rd and 4th word from woho's sentence and it's true
#300799
lola: I inherited my eyes from mom
diamant: and tits from daddy?
lola: fuck u
diamant: but indeed?
lola: YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?? MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE TITS AT ALL!!
diamant: that's what i'm talking about :)
lola has quit IRC. (Quit)
#78379
<+commodore_dude> BalefireX
<+commodore_dude> i dunno wtf happened
<+commodore_dude> but my mom heard some thing on the radio about how the elise is gonna be highly collectable in 10-15 years
<+commodore_dude> so now she's bugging my dad to get one
<@BalefireX_> you know, commodore_dude
<@BalefireX_> it kinda sounds like your parents are pretty cool
<+commodore_dude> har
<+commodore_dude> yeah
<+commodore_dude> they're awesome
<@BalefireX_> they must be so disappoined
<+commodore_dude> :D
Comment: #gideontech
#615
<splice> wow, irc really loses its luster when you have a girlfriend
<splice> be back much later