Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#4233
<JoeyB> what would be better of a car to modify, a honda accord, or a toyota
corrola
<Focus2001> oh man'
<pagan> which is better, dog poop or cat poop?
<pagan> ;p
<coug_> LOL
#50945
<Erika> WTF
<Erika> I JUST TOOK MY WATCH OFF...
<Erika> TO PUT IT ON MY DESK.
<Erika> EXCEPT I PUT MY SPOON ON MY DESK AND MY WATCH IN MY CUSTARD.
<Erika> FUCK
Comment: #snoopy on irc.double0.net
#6951
<glasnost> i didn't have a life.
<glasnost> i had a BBS.
#2556
<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and glasses, then it lets u on
#19617
<Rivorus> i feel stupid cuz i can never open the godam condoms
<Rivorus> and then when i get it on i feel even more dumb cuz I'm the only one in the room
#296807
<skint> i heard all Russians are poor and illiterate
<lennoxRU> almostly
#60819
<pinky> hmm
<pinky> if i give the ants enough time they'd clean the kitchen themselves
#29647
<suppamooh> your anus has its own gravitational field, which "strangely", only attracts cocks! that's a mistery for scentists......
<kovakalu> suppa: gravitational field?
<kovakalu> suppa: it's black hole, but not the kind found in astronomy
<kovakalu> suppa: it's more related to gastronomy.. or rather the after-effects
#1038
<[Duo]> man, you guys are so not 7334
#44718
<spongebill> it's a vicious circle... I have qdb open in my browser, can't stop reading random quotes, then I remember to turn back to IRC, see that somebody posted a link, it opens in a new tab, I look at it, close the tab and there I am, back at qdb
#27348
[21:19:59] <stillstudy> weird
[21:20:04] * stillstudy finds 2 leaves in his text book
[21:20:15] <stillstudy> mkae that 4
[21:20:16] <stillstudy> wtf
[21:20:20] <stillstudy> this book is reverting to being a tree
#52252
<gordonjcp> Tesco petrol pumps have a button to press if you want to pay at the pump
<gordonjcp> it's got a braille label
<gordonjcp> don't know what it says though
<gordonjcp> "Get the fuck off the road!" possibly
#56678
* Quietus is now known as BruceLee
<BruceLee> Now someone change to JackieChan so we can have a karate match.
<KamiKaziGames> ...k
* KamiKaziGames is now known as JackieChan
* JackieChan has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by BruceLee)))
<BruceLee> K/O
#311
<Raider^> Hey there, i got this new version of mirc, i should be in invisible mode, if anyone can see my sentance please reply.
#8853
<tom> did you hear about the magic tractor?
<tom> it went down the hill and turned into a field!!!
<ReAc> :/
<dave> did you hear about the magic tom?
<dave> he went down the hill and I stabbed him in the face
#311396
<graspee> fucking ipod shuffled onto guided meditation track and i fell asleep at the keyboard
#50372
HardCoresHeep: I'm having a 3 way with Nina and Andrew.
Californian: mk
HardCoresHeep: ..
HardCoresHeep: ^Conversation
HardCoresHeep: a 3 way conversation
#3616
<azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my school ip
#46079
<reddave1982> I got the 24-hr garage night shift blues
<Langly> what planet are you on that has 24 hour nights?
<microwiz> are there parts of earth that are dark for 24h? i know there are parts that are light for 24h
<FMalibu> well yes one implies the other
<FMalibu> probably antarctica or something is pretty much dark all day long by now?
* FMalibu imagines what kind of night shifts they have there...
<FMalibu> right, you'll be on pinguin duty...
<microwiz> PENGUIN GARAGE
<Langly> Terrapin Garage
<microwiz> insert "it looks like you blew a seal" joke here
#19725
<spritegoddess> I poked myself in the eye
<spritegoddess> while feeding myself cheetos.
<spritegoddess> I suck at life.
#73523
<Kai> the impetus to get out of bed and go for a piss is immense right now.
<Kai> oooh, a coke bottle....
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#14373
<Despot> I just had a dream about cheese and eating it
<Despot> the cheese had eyes and kept looking at me
<Despot> thats all go back to work
#18365
* gibb blinks
* jitspoe winks ;)
* gibb sinks :o
* jitspoe thinks
* Murdock stinks.
<Murdock> doh!
#1745
(nexxai) [poopfart]: can you fart and poo at the same time?
(poopfart) yes
(poopfart) i can
(poopfart) their called accidents