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#48078
<Ginman> im against picketing, but i dont know how to show it
Comment: #wpi
#10879
ZangTT> the earth IS flat. it just stuffs its bra.
#14826
<^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
<^Matt^> :/
<Windogg> doh
<^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
<^Matt^> like this was the one
<^Matt^> :)
<Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the one" I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started sweating, and I got all weak
<Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers
#4231
(unchali) I was in gymnastics til I realized that fat chicks cause earthquakes
#954
(@Asimov) bah, i've got a life
(@Asimov) i just dont let it interfere with my irc :)
#307117
<Q-Stone> woot now I have 2.5 GB of space on Dropbox!
* BadMojo starts downloading Q-Stone's stuff from Dropbox. Man, nothing but horse porn.
<Q-Stone> Encrypted horse porn!
<BadMojo> If it was encrypted, how would I know what it is?
<Q-Stone> By the file name: horseporn12.enc
<Switchbreak> badmojo knows an encrypted horse when he sees one
<Switchbreak> just has to glance at the data
<Q-Stone> He can tell from the bits
<BadMojo> It's like the matrix.
<Q-Stone> He doesn't even see the code anymore, just Arabian, Clydesdale, Quarter
Comment: #gwj on quakenet
#4389
<Campster> "DOOM 3 WILL BE PRODUCED ON A BUDGET OF 439 DOLLARS AND A PACKET OF JUICY FRUIT"
#294943
<freyja> lmao a friend of mine sent me a link to a discussion on an icelandic forum for women
<freyja> this one is talking about her msn buddy, who said he just met Izzy Stradlin and Steven Adler (whoever they are), and wanted to show her on webcam the merchandise he got autographed and stuff
<edkletz> They were in Guns'N'Roses
<freyja> so she gets really excited, wants to see it, accepts the webcam, and there he sits naked with a huge boner and no souvenirs
<edkletz> "Surprise!"
<freyja> yeah surprise lol
<edkletz> Hey, wanna see my webcam?
<freyja> NO
#310122
<Aragan> ... okay, I have determined that is not lightning.
<Aragan> That is artillery.
<Theogrin> Sturm und drang? What're ya playing, Aragan?
<Aragan> Call of Duty: College Life Near an Army Base.
Comment: From #ragnarokwisdom, irc.esper.net
#294792
Xarian: My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...
#44056
(idler) bear with me
(QFoundation) want me to call animal control?
#421
<Andrigaar> there's a good rumor to start up again. "Jacking off till it blisters will form calluses and make if bigger in a few months."
#51593
Florgenblorken: did i tell you my cousin ran away
Caracarn52: nope
Caracarn52: Go on.
Florgenblorken: hes like a drug addict and just bad news in general, and he hates his parents. so i hear from my dad last week he ran off with 1200$ and has been gone for about half a week. but heres the fucked up part. he asked me last time i saw him, "hey dude ive been thinking of running off think i should?" and me being an idiot says, "yeah man sure why not" since i thought he was joking
Florgenblorken: whoops
#18220
<jesus_> my healing hands be drivin tha virgins wild.
#786
(Erich) i can run faster than a blood hound
(zp) Erich: all the free niggas can, thats why they're free
#2755
<Nick-spy> MY ROOSTER RAN AWAY! SOMEONE GRAB MY COCK!
#59293
<Trinexx> holy shit
<Trinexx> we just got robbed
<Trinexx> i didnt even notice
<Trinexx> rebecca came home, asked where her dad was, I said he went to the bank
<Trinexx> she went into our room
<Trinexx> came back
<Trinexx> "ok, where is all my jewelery, the xbox, the stereo, and the tv"
<Trinexx> we got robbed
<Trinexx> by the inlaws
#27356
<Fall> sif xhtml 1.0 trans
<Fall> sifn't xhtml 1.1
<nicko2K> sif xhtml :P~
<Fall> sifn't html 3.0 with <font>
<nicko2K> i want <div> to bare my children
<nicko2K> and <tr> can be my whipping boy
<Fall> "spread your legs, <div>, and I'll insert my <body> into your <frame>"
<Fall> oh god, that so doesn't conform :P
#34190
* rik decides not to reply to spam whose subject line is "discount vasectomy"
#6908
<Toen> OH NO! A steamroller comes barreling down on brentai! He must roll 1d20! Less than 6 escapes death!
<Toen> unless he wants to use up his luck charm and make it a 1d10!
<Brentai> I use my raping skill to rape the steamroller.
<Toen> your rape is ineffective against the cold, solid steel!
<Brentai> Well, crud.
<Brentai> 1d10
<Dildice> Brentai: 9
<Brentai> Er, 1d20.
<Brentai> 1d20
<Dildice> Brentai: 14
<Brentai> Crap, and crap.
<Toen> squish
<Brentai> Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller. It's a man's death.
#311366
* vens is now known as venz
<aciou> this is the internet equivalent of turning your cap backwards
#18717
<Twinge> Laziness + Apathy = me sleeping in my clothes.
#55591
Mattias: i still say i get a siren and tie it to my belly and get some deeeep pocket pants full of change. Then i walk past a hobo on the street and when he asks me for some spair change i am going to put the siren on and start throwing change at him yelling " YOU WON THE JACKPOT"
#55277
<@r0ger> i'm looking at the michigan sex offenders list
<@r0ger> and i already found 6 people i know
<@r0ger> 2 of them i work/worked with
<@ne0n> haha
<@shadow> LOL
<@shadow> nice
<@gHoTi> its cheatin to include yourself in people you have worked with ;)
<@shadow> rofl
Comment: #m1k3y
#8496
[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space