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#307590
<&Asestorian> you can only romance companions of the opposite gender
<&Entity> that's gay :(
#54336
«+ LassUlike » CTRL + ALT + D1337
#25228
<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF
#303622
Mike: "now that you all are awake. are there anyone who can help with my problem? I have compressed my important files with md5sum. how do I decompress them ?"
#35410
* Kio has quit IRC (Quit: )
* TRR has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
* Aquazzz has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
* RiotingNerd has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
* flatface has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
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#18309
<Ferncraft3> !plist
-ChanServ- #warcraft3 peons:
-ChanServ- None.
<Ferncraft3> this is a warcraft channel and we don't have peons?
#62602
< nippleboy> you really got that "cool chat girl that doesn't get hung-up on the same stupid crap as everyone else" down pat!
< nippleboy> <--- impressed!
< heathyr> it goes straight along with hardly paying attention
#2310
<CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..
<CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience... soon......
<CYBORG> i need brave partener....
<CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........
#39992
[f] Jism [jism@roach.infested.w-wasteland.com] has joined #linux
[f] mode/#linux [+o Jism] by X2
(Ark): Jis! just in time to test my new perl bot
(@Jism): k
(Ark): say hello to NIGGABOT
(@Jism): err hello NiggaBOT
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: hello is SUP G'DAWG
(@Jism): dude wtf
(Ark): cool or what?
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: cool is MAN THIS SHIT IS TIGHT!
(@Jism): Ark, i am going to stab you if you don't shut this fucking thing off
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: stab is POP A CAP IN YO ASS
(@Jism): fuck this i'm outta here
(@Jism): bye
(@NiggaBOT): Wording Incorrect: bye is CHECK YOU LATER HOMIE
#302761
< sklnd> i was an intern at jpmc for two years
< sklnd> i lost like 50 million dollars one day in intra-bank funds
< sklnd> by fucking up a ftp upload
Comment: #cobol
#7239
<fo0bar> fuck, how do I contact the IRS?
<egon> cheat on your taxes... they'll contact you.
#138416
<Lena> My mama taught me how to dance
<Lena> said if you can shake your ass right, guys will know what you're like in bed
<Lena> my mom is such a whore
<Lena> especially when she said all casually "Mija...have you ever had sex on a piano?" her voice is really thick with a spanish accent and I'm like "MAMA NO!" she goes "Good, dont, cause it's noisy"
<Lena> I just looked at her in disbelief
<Lena> and THEN!
<Lena> one time she says "Mija, I dont want you sleeping with every tom dick and harry, maybe every tom and dick but not ever harry"
#215897
<kris> damn 1337, now everyone's numberplate is talking to me
#29421
<_Ben> 2 kids. 7 and 8 for around 3 hours after school
<SeraphicMirth> those are good ages
<Frank> for cooking!
<Frank> i mean babysitting
#104063
<T_ConX> It sucks being a spelling Nazi on Facebook.
<Phoz> Why?
<T_ConX> Well, normally when you see someone pound out garbage like 'ya well thaz jyst ur opinun so yo momma!', I simply assume it's being produced by some 12 year old simian on a sugar high.
<T_ConX> However, on Facebook, every poorly writen comment is attached to a persons real name, and the School Network they belong to.
<Phoz> Oh...
<T_ConX> So as a result, I see 'Kate Smith (Harvard)' attached to the comment 'y cant u just acept jeesus in2 ur hert?'.
<Phoz> Ha!
<T_ConX> I'm not lying!
<T_ConX> I have actually seen Ivy League students with the English skills of a second grader.
<T_ConX> There is some hope however.
<Phoz> How?
<T_ConX> You know how companies are using Facebook and mySpace to do cheap background checks on job candidates.
<Phoz> Yes
<Phoz> Oh... I see...
<T_ConX> Kate Smith - Recruitment Status: Rejected
<T_ConX> Reason for rejection: Poor English skills displayed on Facebook.
#26426
<Epi> God, whats that word where a chick is sorrounded by like 50 guys?
<Kharnifex> bukkake
<ArcaneMagik> Epi: engineering degree?
<Kharnifex> otherwise it's lekemba
<[L]o[L]> its the number one source of protein for women under 20 in japan
<bobbles> 1 chick for 50 guys
<bobbles> its a LAN
#3413
[DigDug] wow, i was so dehydrated this morning...
[DigDug] i took a piss and it looked like there was an egg yolk coming out of my penis
#4198
<RevQuixo> i want a mario game where you do actual plumbing
<RevQuixo> oh, did i mention i was gay?
#22468
--> The_Ents (~trees@the.darkforrest.net) has joined #Isengard
<-- Saruman has quit (Excess Flood)
#49568
<DJ-Mike> ATTETNION
<DJ-Mike> DJ MIKE
<DJ-Mike> WILL BE ON
<TempestxJuggalo> a dick
<DJ-Mike> IN A MATTER OF MINUTES
#186395
<kleis> err, is there any good reason to ban about half of germany from #math?
<HiLander> WWII
#85719
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
#304051
<@Recnilgiarc> In about 5% of patients, it can instead cause inadvertent orgasms when yawning.
<@Recnilgiarc> this shit is going to be awesome
#1082
<MadHatter> I'm getting pretty sick of black and white
<MadHatter> there's just too much to manage
<MadHatter> it's probably a really good game for people who don't already have jobs
<blazemore> maybe i should play then
#305954
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed