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#10361
<AsylumXKP> And it hard to hit on the German chicks thanks to the thick language barrier.
<Erdrick> just pull it out and point to it
#27903
<KiTTyKaT`> What state is Alabama in?
#29955
* _Ben changes topic to 'The Late night Channel. No fun or freedom here. We'll kill you if we find you enjoying your self in here'
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#31160
<kiad> wow
<kiad> my favourite professor just got a horrible rating
<kingmob> well, you can't take hotornot too seriously
#28892
<@demalavor> I finally got to try krispy kreme
<@demalavor> <3
<@demalavor> the lady there scared me though
<@demalavor> I walked in and she jumped out from the corner and was like "FREE SAMPLE YAAAAA!!"
#34068
<IceWizard> hmmm
<IceWizard> i cant figure out this..
<IceWizard> im supposed to set my clocks back 1 hour
<IceWizard> so how can I make my vcr start flashing 11:00 instead of 12:00?
#33543
<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a seinor in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, 2 Super 8 video cassettes and 1 Roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks.
#68143
<nul1o> this pedo sees a kid hanging around near the edge of the cliff crying
<nul1o> so he looks areound and cant see anyone else round
<nul1o> so he goes up and asks the kid whatsup
<nul1o> and hes like, my dog just died, and on the way to the funeral we were in a car crash
<nul1o> and my parents drove off the cliff, I just manged to escape
<nul1o> and the pedos like its not your lucky day is it
<Biomech> so did you help him?
#15037
<su-Septik`wrk> when the world trade center bombing occurred, the reporters said they could not retrieve the black box. my friend, who was stoned at the time, said "goddamn, ppl must be desperate for a playstation 2"
#11727
<Aboshi> Women. I drive 'em crazy.
<Trinity> crazy = away
#448
<Acero> man, i got a cramp in my leg when i was wacking off last night
<Acero> i need to stretch or something
#32976
<AdamBishop> I also pronounce "lieutenant" the British way, as we're supposed to, but most people don't...
<kingturtle2> is lieutenant pronounced al-OOOOOOO-MIN-eee-um?
#23380
<Arrgh> hmmm... i need to write my own matrix code
<Harrison> Yes, Arrgh!
<Harrison> Then you can subjugate the entire human population!
<Harrison> Except for a small number of upstarts who'll wind up totally ruining your plans.
<Harrison> One of them will be a terrible actor.
<Arrgh> naw, that has a scale thats much too big
<Arrgh> i'll have to just subjugate all of you gys
<Harrison> Can I be the bad actor?
<Arrgh> i dunno, you need to audition!
<Harrison> Ok ok ok. How's this...
<Harrison> "Whoa."
<Arrgh> you're hired!
#20009
<DrWatson> MISSING: 1 motivation. Last seen the night before the last exam. Small and unimpressive. Likes to wander. Answers to the name of 'Keith'. Please email DrWatson.
#51392
<f0rked> it has that awful droning NEH NEH NEH alarm clock sound.. and sometimes I don't wake up, I just dream about trying to shut it off. My latest dream today was: I was in a school with a bunch of people, and everyone could hear this loud alarm and we were all crowded in the hallway running around trying to figure out how to shut it off. Eventually I figured out I was emitting it and executed a regular expression with my watch like s/#alarm#// to shut it ...
<f0rked> ... off. Once I knew it was me, I turned it back on, gathered up a bunch of people, then got ahead of them and showed them as I turned it off. My point was to tell people to learn regular expressions.
<f0rked> it was fucked up.
#53187
<Irennicus> Long story short
<Irennicus> Steph and I were having sex
<Irennicus> And as I start to shoot
<Irennicus> I screamed PROTON CANNON
#88
<Infe> but if i ever hit a deer with my car i'll be damned if i don't try to finish it off, i'll need the food after all my money is fixing the car#@$#@
#2396
(`zero) ,__ FISH RULE AT DICKSUCKING
(`zero) | `'. / BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE
(`zero) __ |`-._/_.:---`-.._ / TO STOP TO BREATHE
(`zero) \='. _/..--'`__ `'-._
(`zero) \- '-.--"` === / o `',
(`zero) )= ( .--_ | _.' (HURF DUH GILLS)
(`zero) /_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-.
(`zero) /_.' `\`'-._ '-= \ _.'
(`zero) jgs ) _.-'`'-.. _..-'`
(`zero) /_.' `/";';`|
(`zero) \` .'/
#8881
<fo0bar> man, do you know HOW FUCKING LONG a 15ft kvm cable is?
<synec> 15ft?
#160946
<@Blode> do you like the sonnets?
<Shakespears_sisters> whats that lol
#27801
<jwz> I met a guy who was a freshman at berkeley who had just arrived from india, and he said, "I can't take the beggars here seriously. they have legs."
#8294
<tytyt> the--kav if you were not a man I'd hug you
<deepcut> but as it is, he's too afraid of his own latent homosexuality to dare
<tytyt> there are support group for that
<deepcut> tytyt: I was referring to you
#1890
<Defcon> Heh. I was getting a hair cut the other day with my usual barber, who's this 60 year old vietnam veteran type guy, really uptight and what not. Anyway, he had this TV with the news on, and suddenly they started talking about police who sodomized some hispanic guy with a broom stick. That caused a lot of tension in the barber shop.
<Defcon> "Yeah, so, how about that sodomy? Probably doesn't feel too good." "Nope. Can't imagine it does."
#29536
(Zero-Dai): lol.. IRC sex gods
(Zero-Dai): what an oxymoron
Comment: #hyperactive austnet.org
#6369
<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs
<Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce