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#56454
* Boche slaps wanks around a bit with a large trout
<Boche> how do i change weapon? someone?
#4233
<JoeyB> what would be better of a car to modify, a honda accord, or a toyota
corrola
<Focus2001> oh man'
<pagan> which is better, dog poop or cat poop?
<pagan> ;p
<coug_> LOL
#3352
<dr\gonzo> i'd rather cut off my own penis than run linux
<dr\gonzo> running linux screams I fuck ugly chicks
#113791
<druggy> i heard something about the us army having some solvers of battlefield problems which behave like rts bots
<longshock> so they stockpile resources then do wave after wave of tank rushes?
#25475
<D4NG3R0U5> when a girl says 'blow me' what the fuck does she mean
<Ravenouse1> basically, she's telling you to suck her cock
#298199
<@swight> cottage cheese is basically curds and whey isn't it?
<@Rjx> I think it's just the curds part
< dunn> i dont eat anything that rhymes with turd
<@Rjx> pretty sure you've eaten a bird
#34217
<kinzillah> pie.
<jej> cocks.
<kinzillah> now THAT'S some word association right there
#30972
<Snipah> I found an awesome hentai site.
<Snipah> free movies
<Snipah> pictures
<Snipah> games
<knightmare> pervert
2 minutes later...
<knightmare> link?
#117877
<WeirdAl> !seen peterv
<firebot> peterv was last seen 2 weeks, 6 days, 15 hours, 2 minutes and 31 seconds ago, saying '* peterv looks for a place to hide' in #developers
<Wolf> guess he found one.
Comment: irc.mozilla.org #developers
#4421
<moira> yoinkster is like the humpback of notre dame cathedral, except no humpback, and it's the ogg vorbis cathedral, and he keeps ringing the bells yelling unintelligible things about how ogg owns your mom
#16524
<[0FXTCJ|U> are you excited now?!?!?!
<[0FX|nw> yeah
<[0FXTCJ|U> do you have an erection?!
<[0FX|nw> no
<[0FX|nw> hmm
<[0FX|nw> ¨cant say this in english
<[0FX|nw> i tooked my hand on my cock and drew forwards and backwards
<[0FX|nw> what do u call it?
<[0FXTCJ|U> jacking off?
<[0FX|nw> oh
<[0FX|nw> in sweden we call it runka
#37005
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven
#50848
< jiteo> I remember calling my ISP asking about getting a static IP
< jiteo> poor guy on the other end was so happy to have someone with brains to
talk to
< jiteo> and actually get asked a question that makes sense
< jiteo> on that day I brought warm fuzzies in his life
< jiteo> I will forever be proud
< KrakensDen> :)
< KrakensDen> did you get one?
< jiteo> no
#33098
<Bubbaprog> somebody told me simon cowel reminds them so much of me
<Bubbaprog> and i said why, because i am sophisticated and attractive
<Bubbaprog> and they said no
<Bubbaprog> because you're an asshole
#35117
<Zappa_> friday afternoons prove the theory of relativity
#45485
<synth> ONE DAY ILL HAVE SEX RAAB
<Raab> if you take x, its really hard not to
<Raab> or just slip her a roofie
<synth> i slipped off a roof once
Comment: #dt on irc.zirc.org - Come visit ^_^
#309905
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "No One Cares. At All CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on
#3852
<Hendrix> Its fun to go out in the cold weather and watch smokers pass out becuse they dont know when they're done exhaling
#14583
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming
#43442
<DarkStatix>: Wat are you seen?
<farsideofbryan>: What?
<DarkStatix>: Rigth now wat are you seen in youre mind?
<farsideofbryan>: Very bad english.
<Kotjze>: Took the words right out of my mouth :|
#5420
<Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios shirt on.
<Psifire> And something occured to me.
<Vykuzich> pants?
#9596
<@PikaChan> the four greatest numbers in existance: 13, 69, 666, 1337
<@PikaChan> man, it'd be cool to have the phone number 1-337-666-1369
<%ragna> pika, you thought long and hard about that didnt you?
<@PikaChan> yes i did
#28890
<PRoWoRK> i like my vagina!
<[Piratez]> o.o
<PRoWoRK> ...sorry...
<[Piratez]> pro, this is the part where u type 'wrong chan'
#55277
<@r0ger> i'm looking at the michigan sex offenders list
<@r0ger> and i already found 6 people i know
<@r0ger> 2 of them i work/worked with
<@ne0n> haha
<@shadow> LOL
<@shadow> nice
<@gHoTi> its cheatin to include yourself in people you have worked with ;)
<@shadow> rofl
Comment: #m1k3y
#22727
<Powerslave> haha love this ticket pushed to me from our help desk: "modem making squeeking sound when connecting, needs replaced"