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#1377
<TheFlux2k> i just teleport everywhere
<TheFlux2k> walking is for faggots
#13110
<OreoTZA> ./ignore #k-rad
<OreoTZA> whoa, i wonder if you can actually do that
<OreoTZA> holdon, I'm gonna try
<OreoTZA> ok, hello?
<OreoTZA> HELLo????
<OreoTZA> anyone seen this?
<OreoTZA> LOL!!!!!! IT FUCKING WORKED
<OreoTZA> holy shit
<Dawgyman> josh
<OreoTZA> SHIT I SEE DAWG, it didn't work
#8217
<noskill> I was banned from my junior highs network for having every printer in the school print 5000 pages of "FEED ME PAPER!" simultaneously
#54900
<XenoDemon> So it is 3am, and I am sleeping
<XenoDemon> Some girl comes into my dorm room (Door isin't locked, room mate is still on computer)
<XenoDemon> She mumbles something to my room mate who had no idea who she was
<XenoDemon> Sits on my bed, then lays down in my bed (I am still in it), takes my blanket, and starts to go to sleep, then knocks her head against mine.
<XenoDemon> I go "Who the hell are you? What's your name?" "Aisha" "Where do you live?" "Ogg" (Another dorm)
<XenoDemon> "you're in the wrong dorm" "what? no I'm not" "Well um I need to use this bed, go back to Ogg ok?" "Haha... Ok... bye" and then she leaves
<XenoDemon> I know it is easy to get random drunk girls into bed, but that was just ridiculus.
#4123
<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home
#2172
<refugee> man
<refugee> you cant cancel an AOL subscription online
<dwai> try to do it over the phone
<refugee> and they want your screenname when you cancel
<refugee> so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is SIZZLINGCROTCH"
#29504
<splice> davis took a swing at arnold's accent, said the governor should be able to pronounce "california" correctly.. guess he forgot about the population completely
#60285
<Bozbozboz> I have chickens
<Bozbozboz> they're cute and fluffy
<Bozbozboz> ickle baby yellow ones
<Diggeh> you mean nuggets?
<Bozbozboz> nuggets are not chicken, fool
<Diggeh> a baby chicken is a nugget
<Garg> Since when?
<Diggeh> i'm sure it is. if a baby chicken isn't a nugget wtf is it?
<lottie_pants> i think it's 'chick'
<Bozbozboz> I thought it was a chick
<Diggeh> then whats a chicken nugget? :/
<Garg> A small nibble made from processed chicken bits?
<Diggeh> ohhh
<Diggeh> fs
<Diggeh> DON'T JUDGE ME
Comment: He really thought nuggets were baby chickens
#37814
mkjbOO7: i need to set up an FTP
mkjbOO7: for pictures or chmod shit
Muerlio: kooz i think you may have surpassed my friend asking "whats faster tcp/ip or ftp"
#311601
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
#39676
<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders
#201
<iMike> the bible should be rewritten to more common language
<DigDug> yeah, like c++ or perl
<D1> in comic book form
#33113
<goatasaur> she is attractive
<goatasaur> but she has more issues than tv guide
Comment: #fark on Irvingnet
#10737
<kas> did you getta message from Mike last night?
<kas> he msged you on aim
<SDMF> he msged me?
<kas> i put in big bold letters
<kas> JOHN ITS MIKE LETS CYBER NOW
<kas> and yur roommate answered
<kas> and was like who's this
<kas> and ize like
<kas> Johns cyber boyfriend, Mike
<kas> is he there?
<kas> i wanna cyber sooo bad
<kas> yur roommate blocked me or signed off
#5584
<Villager> haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'?
<Alexander> i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive'
#19236
<Yumblie> I'm modest too, that's what makes me so magnificent and stupendous and wonderful
#94997
<nightwolf> What are your thoughts on chivalry? Do you hold the door open for women?
<nightwolf> Or do you rush through and let it close in her face?
<worrydream> I rush through and lock the door behind me. If she's able to climb through the window, she's a keeper.
<nightwolf> Do you open the window for her?
<worrydream> Yes. But it's the second-story window.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her a ladder?
<worrydream> No. I expect her to lash together a ladder out of rope and wood.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her rope?
<worrydream> No. I expect her to weave a rope out of natural available materials.
<worrydream> Grasses and vines and stuff.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her those materials?
<worrydream> I leave her seeds.
#1259
<Spike-Man> #myass is pretty cool.
<Spike-Man> Who wants to come in #myass?
#68626
<toor> MandaCakes: what does yom kippur taste like
<toor> is it sweet
<toor> :/
<MandaCakes> er.. yom kippur is a holiday
<MandaCakes> the holiest day of the year
<toor> no way!
<toor> i just got thru text messaging this hot jewish girl that i want to eat her yom kippur
<toor> GOSH
<toor> i always screw everything up.
<toor> >:(
#11348
<@Ryu> I remember when I was watching a porn on a tape I received from my friend, and I start wacking off to the lesbians on the TV... Then all of a sudden right when I was about to cum, the tape stopped and it was TeleTubbies on the TV instead. I cummed, and I cried.... i'm not joking.
#39802
<jo> fiendish....
<jo> u have never been a pain in my ass
<jo> just so ya know
<Telnus> cuz his weenie's too small to be a pain
* Telnus rimshot!
<jo> how do u know?
<Telnus> THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER
#66161
Metalcore: see, the lack of emotion i could ALMOST deal with.
Metalcore: if you know, she would ever talk to me.
Metalcore: it's like squeezing water from a rock.
Metalcore: but not just any rock.
Metalcore: like, a rock that exists in a universe that lacks the hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
#22393
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
#3677
<w3nis> I remember discussing bong tactics with a friend and drawing out plans and then we realized we had drew a pelican
#4791
<Aaron> +v
*** Crappy sets mode: +v Aaron
<Aaron> typing +v made crappy put me on +v automatically?
<Crappy> maybe, try typing +b :)
<Aaron> +b
*** Crappy sets mode: +b *!*@m57-mp1-cvx1a.bre.ntl.com