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#18312
<jp__> will somebody PLEASE HELP ME GET GNOME INSTALLED?!?!
<KDEGAWD> is it black and white gnome
<KDEGAWD> or color gnome
<jp__> i should have KNOWN YOU GUYS WOULD GIVE ME THE RUN AROUND
<jp__> every single time i call tech support or get on here.... same thing
#36142
<timmo> my friend and i were driving someplace one day
<timmo> and we were driving his womans car
<timmo> he got a nose bleed and i was looking through the glovebox
<timmo> for tissues
<timmo> the only thing i saw was a tampon
<timmo> he shoved it in his nose
<timmo> the thing they dont tell you is
<timmo> when a tampon soaks up blood
<timmo> it expands
<timmo> so after like 5mins
<timmo> hes trying to pull it out
<timmo> and its not coming out
<timmo> eventually he got it out
<timmo> and threw it on the sidewalk of the mall
<timmo> :x
#296944
(FormerlyHumane) then answer me this: why is the acid in Alien so much stronger than Aliens?
(Squint) Dilution
(FormerlyHumane) also the size of the planet changes
(Squint) With more aliens, the acid had to be watered down to fill all of their bodies.
(FormerlyHumane) makes sense
(Squint) But in the first movie, there was only the one, so the acid was more concentrated.
(FormerlyHumane) but how did the planet get bigger?
(Squint) Zoom, man. Zoom.
(FormerlyHumane) I don't know if I buy that
(Squint) You know how when you look through binoculars, small things look bigger?
(FormerlyHumane) I guess so
(Squint) Boom.
(Squint) I'm going to bed.
#36219
<@Xial> Command line interface terminal. :o
<@Xial> Women are COMPUTERS!!!!
* @Xial has scary realization
<+Nulike> :O
<@Xial> Seriously!
<@Xial> Why do you think we have so much control over them when we use the Command line interface terminal properly?
<+Nulike> Enlighten us!
<@Xial> Because it's powerful. A well interfaced CLIT is a happy CLIT, and a happy CLIT means we are treated well, in return. XD
<+Nulike> O_O
<@Xial> Makes sense? :3
<@Xial> Plus,
<+Nulike> Worst of all, it does.
<@Xial> some women tell us what to do when we're using it, sorta like pressing the help key
<@Xial> "Ooooh, slooooooowwwww..." for example
<@Xial> If you get a "Stop Teasing, and FUCK ME NOW!", you've likely done it right XD
<+Nulike> @.@;
Comment: #voices / DarkMyst; Xial's apparently had too much sugar and caffeine.
#294895
<&mezzanine> Congratulations
<&mezzanine> The document located at <whitehouse.gov> was successfully checked as XHTML 1.0 Transitional.
<&mezzanine> oh my
<&mezzanine> change has indeed come
#64358
<absinth> omg ! my father finished call of duty!
<misiek> so what?
<absinth> nothing but during the last-but-one mission he asked me whether one can change Colt to another gun..
Comment: note: Translated from Polish
#17244
<Muppet> *arf arf*
<damnyoure> *slap slap*
<Muppet> *bite bite*
<damnyoure> *bang bang*
<Muppet> *die die*
<damnyoure> *bury bury*
<Muppet> *rot rot*
#30298
<Ultimos> what's a fuckin troll?
<Ultimos> lol
<binkzz> url what is an internet troll
<migas> - "what is an internet troll": http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll
<Ultimos> migas has saveth me.
<binkzz> migas always takes the credit ;[
#310266
<Garf> anyone here know something about chickens?
<Garf> can they, like, get impregnated and lay new eggs while they're breeding existing ones?
<Garf> it is vitally important I know because I'm having a discussion about the evolutionary advantages of the platypus
Comment: #foobar2000
#7119
<Philly_B> <--------->
<Philly_B> hmm...
<Philly_B> the set of all real numbers
(*michael) The set of all real numbers, now only $99.99! Order now and get a complimentary imaginary number commemorative plate free with your order.
#14530
*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't
#102712
[linux] hey i have a question
[helf] ok
[linux] i recently installed ubuntu on my laptop
[linux] and it works very good
[linux] the only problem is that i can not boot into windows anymore
[helf] uhoh
#9474
<Undine> So he dumped her, "Nothing about sex should remind you of a cauliflower"
#45437
<Drew> next to that one i found funny is the barcode reader at Regal (movie theater)
<Drew> it had a warning
<Drew> do not look into laser
<Drew> it had it in braille too
Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
#54161
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU
#8059
<Electroly> kurros has a l33t ass projector, I saw a picture of it just once
and I've been drooling ever since
<T-ball> nice...
<T-ball> I don't have room for a projector... :/
<Brazilian> I have a monkey who draws on my wall really fast
#8962
* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff
#15665
SomeNick: if you tell a girl to never call you again and that she annoys you.... haven't spoke to her in over a month and she's msg'd you a few times on aim but you didn't reply... do you think calling her and telling her it was all a big joke is believable?
#295489
<workthrick> I just got laid
<workthrick> off
#25137
<Dawai> i feel like fucking my gf in the ass real hard
<Dawai> the only problem is she dumped me some time ago
#34129
--> MrPoush (~matt@dsl.76.171.networkiowa.com) has joined #jibble
<Monty> But what does MrPoush have to do with the price of fish?
<MrPoush> everything, Monty
<Monty> *horrified*
Comment: Monty is a phrase-bot.
#24584
<Ryan[Away]> wtf
<Ryan[Away]> our washing line is made out of cat 5
<The_Defiance> RAH
<The_Defiance> Your washing line is the leetest i know
#8307
<Saber> ow damnit
<Saber> HA
<Saber> That'll teach you
<Saber> damn gummy bears
<c_thur> Saber: i can relate...i think
#13481
<Floidy6k> everybody in america has an anal probe up the ass
<Mack_Salmon> not true!
<Mack_Salmon> I had mine removed!
#11095
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album
<chrissyb0> i can see it now
<chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a
webpage with any font