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#8483
<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock
<Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl
<tm> she's crying on her keyboard now
#169868
<+Tim__> `hey al, tell me all about your day` > /dev/null
#51174
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away
#39754
<timmo> i hate people who im me on aim, and expect me to keep the conversation going
<Rjx> do what I do
<Rjx> say 'brb'
<Rjx> and then don't return
<timmo> you stole that from me
<Rjx> brb
#7426
<glasnost> i was pasting it for everyone else -[
<glasnost> err
<glasnost> =]
<glasnost> fucking sad cyclops instead of happy 2-eyes
#15450
<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit
#75576
<@ALGORYTHM> make your own wikipedia entry then you too can be right
#67318
<Anitox> IE doesnt support appendChild does it?
<StyleZed> my girlfriends womb does apparently.
<StyleZed> i've managed to append 2 so far.
<Biomech> ive managed to inheritChild myself :P
#3038
<Javi> irc is like a cigarette
<Javi> you know it's bad for you
<Javi> but you just can't stop
#108496
Dexi: dude
Dexi: i feel stupid
Dexi: my friend put down "C" for every answer on the ACT...
Dexi: and scored higher than me
#111707
<Russa> but english is the dumbiest and easyest language to understand ever
#54219
<sijmen> I've seriously got a serious problem, and you're the only ones who can help me out.
<sijmen> Tomorrow there's a presentation for school (somewhat important) and I don't have a suit!
<Kimani> Suit * newSuit = new Suit( SuitType.Black );
<sijmen> Kimani, that throws a MoneyShortageException..
Comment: #gamedev on Afternet
#16613
<Sku||Fuck> her favorite author is irvine welsh and her favorite band is dying fetus.
<Sku||Fuck> i don't know. typically i'm drawn to the type of person that easily accepts the subject matter in that sort of music.
<rdgzt> The subject matter being DEATHSATANDISMEMBERMENTNIHILISMDESTROYKILLEVERYONEDARKNESSENTROPYDEATHEMPTINESS!!!!! you mean?
<rdgzt> And perhaps some violent fucking.
<Sku||Fuck> dude you listed death twice
<rdgzt> Well, there seems to be a lot of it.
#42283
If English was good enough for Jesus Christ,
it's good enough for us.
- Miriam Ferguson, Governor of Texas
Comment: only in the USA...
#55808
<SteelHard> how r u ?
* Gen|G^2 is now known as Gen|G^ZZZ
* Gen|G^ZZZ gives SteelHard an a,e,y and o before he goes
<SteelHard> what ?
<Gen|G^ZZZ> how can i put it nicely...
* Gen|G^ZZZ is now known as TheEnglishLanguage
<TheEnglishLanguage> OH GOD IM DYING
#311241
<technoid> All of the shirts say "slimmer fit". Are there any "unix admin" sized ones?
#1522
<w3nis> people with down syndrome are all "Hey check us out we have an extra chromosome, weeee, wipe our ass"
#30631
<Lippizanr> i'd be a lesbian if i didn't like penises so much.
#1750
~ Deft I suck cock! msg me for price list
(Deft) uhm ignore that
#302974
<Sculptor> i learnt binary numbers at the age of 7
<Sculptor> 2nd grade math
<Sculptor> commie countries always had great math courses
<CStubing> commie countries couldn't afford any more digits
Comment: EFnet#c++
#32827
<Allahkat> You know how they make like, "Totally 80's" cds? They should make Pity-Party cds. "Just Got Dumped"
<Allahkat> "No One Home For Christmas"
<bunnieWork> "I Eat Ramen With My Cats Every Night"
<Allahkat> HAHAHAHA
<Allahkat> "I Chat In IRC 24 Hours A Day"
<Allahkat> Oh...wait...
<bunnieWork> HAHAHa...ha.
* bunnieWork sobs
* Allahkat polishes her gun
#30517
<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for a server so he finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?"
#16866
<MartinBlank> I knew a guy who dressed up for Halloween as a giant penis with ferns growing around the base, and said he was dressed as a dickweed.
#1415
<Th3Virus> watch southpark wednesday
<Th3Virus> they are gonna say "shit" on TV
<Th3Virus> no bleeps
<Spacenett> which one is it
<Spacenett> heh
<Spacenett> they do it all the time on paper view
<Th3Virus> paper view
#41154
<BoomBaBa> Meanie, sorry but I am not a fat 16 year old whose diet consists of pizza and hot pockets
<BluMeanie> I hate pizza
<BluMeanie> and we don't have hot pockets in canada
<mkart64> BluMeanie: why didn't you deny the fat part first
<BluMeanie> mkart, cause the food caught my attention