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#29029
<manda> you know, to get a degree, you have to think about something other than your dick for more than 5 seconds
<AchtunG`> i know but its hard
#7967
(CitizenC): Hey, here's a question for ya.. what if Jesus was gay?
(CitizenC): You know what? I bet he was.
(CitizenC): Walking around in that desert with his apostles forever?
(CitizenC): They didn't have porn back then, which left only two options:
(CitizenC): * Beat off behind a mountain somewhere to memories of Mary, or
(CitizenC): * Say "Yo! Deciples! Suck my cock! I'm the son of God!"
(CitizenC): Personally, I think that second one is much more likely.
#56644
hehehe8383: school was pretty fun for me cus of the teachers =P
hehehe8383: like i remember this one time in like 5th grade or something
hehehe8383: i got a bloody nose in my math class and i had on a white shirt to boot
hehehe8383: so i went to the nurse for like 10 min. while i was sittin in the nurses office, the period was over so my class left and another class came in
hehehe8383: but i still had my books there so i had to go back in
hehehe8383: so i walk into the classroom with blood stains on my shirt and holding a blood spotted tissue up to my nose
hehehe8383: so the teacher pointed at me and she goes "see what i do to kids who dont do their homework?"
hehehe8383: i swear to you, this kid next to me had a MORTIFIED look on his face as he started scribbling stuff down on some incomplete worksheet =P
#5876
<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"
#28415
[1:24am] <help> my server is down
[1:24am] <help> username root
[1:24am] <help> passowrd:
[1:25am] <help> sad3@swd
[1:25am] <help> ip address;
[1:25am] <+RS-BrianV> help: stop there
[1:25am] <help> 207.
[1:25am] <help> me?
#28303
<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now.
#25452
<Richie> What fanbois don't realise is that when they speak japanese they sound like the 12 year old girl they learnt it from
#52107
godtoe: What do you think of fat women?
Relient K 0587: Define "fat"
godtoe: ( . )
#950
(Amakusa) ALF and Catwoman snuff porn crossover
(Amakusa) I'm afraid that when I make stuff up like that, it really exists out there somewhere ;(
#303166
<indigo> some of my fish are not very smart.
<indigo> i have some that are small catfish (1-2") with a sucker mouth
<indigo> i startled some, and they jumped above the waterline and clung to the glass in the air.
#11888
<sparks> got the house to myself for the evening
<Robert> bbl
<Robert> hehe enjoy ;)
<sparks> guess I'll invite a bunch of friends over and have a party and play rap music
<sparks> by which I mean I'll order a pizza and nair my legs
#428
<VicViper> NerdSex #73: Make sure you select the option "Always on Top"
#75067
Dizzy: I went to McDonalds and got this.. Ranch BLT chicken thing...
Dizzy: Now I've got a McTummy Ache...
Dizzy: I think that should be #2 on the menu
Dizzy: cuz thats all you're doing for the hour after you eat it
#310640
<ChauffeR> what's the name of the mission that fucked up because they didn't use meters
<OyajiVyse> America?
#305505
* Now talking on #shakesoda
<Karai> I need to stop having very sexual dreams about my sister.
<LHoT10820> ...
<LHoT10820> What an awesome thing to walk in on.
<LHoT10820> Tell me more, Karai.
<Karai> rofl
<Karai> I had a dream last night
<Karai> that I found a new way to make music
<Karai> by using a glass soda bottle stuffed in her whowho to control airflow or some shit
<Karai> it was WEIRD AS FUCK
<Karai> I seriously woke up with the :| face
Comment: #shakesoda on Freenode
#38682
<Nikkou> Wait, is shit in that context a noun or a verb?
#37968
<Norgus> I bought cheapy headphones and they sound like some sailor stuck his dick in my ear.
#2847
*** mr_bill has changed the topic on channel #unix to Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids.
*** mr_bill has changed the topic on channel #unix to oops, wrong channel
#304607
The_Jack_of_Clubs: you need to upgrade to safari 5.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.3 cause it fixes 1 little issue that youll never notice, mostly cause you use firefox, also it needs to restart and to "optimize the hard drive" and while your at it, would you like to install the new version of itune+quicktime? its only 20gb and it has the ability to upgrade the firmware of the iphone that you dont have!
#300771
[Marcus] : So I'm filling out an injury report for one of our stunt men...
[Greta] : Oh no what happened?
[Marcus] : He busted his nose in a stunt no big deal it happens. But the answers for the questions on the forms...
[Marcus] : How did the employee injure himself: his head was getting pushed into a toilet.
[Marcus] : Would this be a common work place injury: yes
[Marcus] : Statement made by employee: it's ok john, next week I get to hit you with a car
#10983
<outlaws> that's so gay
<joyrekz> speaking of gay
<joyrekz> i watched the gay pride parade on tv just to see some lesbians, is that wrong of me?
<outlaws> nope
#310299
<JordiGH> I can't figure out what to name this module.
<JordiGH> misc.py it is, then
<JordiGH> Then I'll have etc.py, general.py, and other.py
<roryg_> wait until you have util.py, utils.py and utils2.py
<roryg_> "utils2.py: even more util"
Comment: Freenode #montrealpython
#93971
JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
JonTG> wait, shit
#1507
<nexxai> man, I love having hookups
<MTrez> found someone who works in an abnormally large dildo factory?
#20145
<Fortis> I'm only going to be able to fuck the "right girl"
<Fortis> I'm like
<Fortis> a romantic about it
<Fortis> but I say "fuck"
<Fortis> I'm all
<Fortis> "Yeah well I want to be in love before I crack the bitch's gash and pound her slush hole"