Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#302077
<ssar> Fuck... saw the girl who lived across the street from me at this dinner party.
<ssar> I had always watched her through her window and shit... but man she just got even hotter.
<ssar> Of course the urge to approach her was strong, but I'm pretty sure a line that one should never use as an icebreaker is "Hey what's up? I used to stalk you."
#7134
<Grant|BnW> Have you seen what happens if you give the mariners a sheep?
<CrashCat> lots of uses
<Grant|BnW> "A sheep. Lovely! Sheep have many uses, and the voyage is long."
<CrashCat> try giving them a woman
<Grant|BnW> What do they say?
<Grant|BnW> I'm trying to be nice now, so I don't want to if they'll rape or eat her.
<Grant|BnW> I wouldn't put anything past fucking accordian players.
#12254
<Art`> I don't want to work with people, I'm not a big people person
<Saccy> I thought you wanted to be a surgeon?
<Art`> Well they're under general anaesthetic, I don't have to talk to them.
#3341
<MicroChip> ok, so who's gonna win the superbowl?
<Chucker-away> the Yankees
<bishop> the sox
<MicroChip> you guys are so female
#310173
<ais523> then running repeatedly until you get the right sequence of random numbers
<ais523> and just completely ignoring the input
<cpressey> some people live their entire lives this way, i reckon
#27353
<Jezzy> gimme all you lovin
<Jezzy> all your hugs and kisses too
* iMav|Movie gives Jezzy some lovin.
<Jezzy> eep!
* Jezzy gives iMav his lovin back.
<Jezzy> can I get a refund?
<Jezzy> I think its defective.
<Ghaleon> Ouch.
<iMav|Movie> I can give you a certificate for other iMav products.
<Jezzy> No, im pretty sure you've tainted them all.
#33197
<Celeste> hey walra, fucking me, to a man, is what a big bucket of fried chicken is to you
<walra> oooooh
#134635
[xexyz] --- sdf.lonestar.org ping statistics ---
[xexyz] 2 packets transmitted, 32 packets received, 0% packet loss
[nooper] lol
[nooper] damn
[xexyz] that's what is commonly referred to as "Voodoo Networking"
#8928
<grey`> how much do cheek clenches help ass shape?
<grey`> i need to firm up my ass
<grey`> like i'm always clenching to tunes in winamp, i'd like to think its effective
#200370
Cynic: it looks like a flashlight but on the inside instead of batteries and a lightbulb, there's a synthetic vagina!
Elven: ...
Dexi: they also have anus and mouth
Dexi: not just va-
Dexi: i mean... i have no idea what types of orifices they offer!
#45519
<Aero`> i have created food
<Aero`> without injury
<Aero`> hooray
#306057
Cynic: I watched the movie The Prestige today
Cynic: that was really good
FotG: trying to remember what that one is
Cynic: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: yeah actors names.... don't really mean much to me
Cynic: Wolverine and Batman
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: Don't think I've seen any movie like that...
#2632
<spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on my asshole
#40003
<NotOneOfUs> http://moeboard.net/wldpdlakstp/20040921-0904-086.jpg WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS OH I KNOW
<CardboardArmor> Oh FUCK YOU NOOU
<CardboardArmor> I just failed Organic Chemistry.
<CardboardArmor> I could totally have used this anime girl's ass as a study guide.
<CardboardArmor> Wait, Br2? That isn't organic chem.
<CardboardArmor> This is regular chem.
<CardboardArmor> Never mind.
<CardboardArmor> Lots of carbon ring structures, though.
<CardboardArmor> Oh, and puffy labia. But I'm totally trying to figure out the equations on her ass.
<CardboardArmor> I'm a Chemistry fag.
<NotOneOfUs> heheh
<CardboardArmor> I'm sure some of those are unbalanced.
<CardboardArmor> Okay. On the top of her ass is Calculus. The bottom ass is chem.
<CardboardArmor> And her proofs suck.
<CardboardArmor> Totally not getting any dick if you can't balance equations and calculate derivatives correctly.
Comment: Oh the wonders of Moe.
#297256
<Mr_Nobu> So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...
#30643
<SDS91> she's 80 pounds, it would be like having sex with a child
<MaTriX-> omg, tell her to put on a little weight
<MaTriX-> u'll be fucking bones
<MaTriX-> :p
<SDS91> no thanks
<SDS91> I have no problem fucking children
#10758
Gr8Hamster: what's the thing I type to see the commands the ftp can do?
Jeff: ?
Gr8Hamster: there was a thing I thought that you could do that would show the commands you could do with something.....
Jeff: ?
Gr8Hamster: nevermind
Jeff: dude, it's a question mark.... type a question mark :-D
Gr8Hamster: oh.. OH! :(
#24380
<DocUK> whats a dropship
<supernorn2000> a ship that drops things, preferably passengers
<supernorn2000> But in Halo it drops vehicles
<Skumby> usually it drops them gently too
<Skumby> Otherwise it'll be called a bomber
#7963
<Vhata> #linux is one of those...
<Vhata> things
<Vhata> what do you call a project that is no longer being maintained?
<Nimnod> a failure.
<Vhata> heh
#36335
<finn> so I was searching tattoos on google, and there was a hot girl with a tattoo.
<finn> so I searched girl
<finn> and there was a hot girl in a tub
<finn> you can immagine the rest :(
#37978
<Nam-Ereh-Won> <NEW-Fox_McCloud> I'm from a universe that parallels yours
<Liquid> A universe without periods.
<Liquid> PARADISE!
<|Cyrus|> For women...
#24775
<@Dr_J> I'm a tarded CSer - short and stout
<@Dr_J> From my arse comes all the shit that I spout.
<@Dr_J> When I get all steamed up, hear me shout!
<@Dr_J> He's cheating, kick him out.
* Dr_J bows
#309840
<Swob> there's a species of pea which has peapods that are 6 feet long
<RD> I wouldn't use that as a pickup line
#297086
< leth> gnufs: but that is already perfect, why would you need to change it?
< gnufs> leth: free software is not about perfection but satisfying your ego by modifying stuff for no reason
Comment: #gnewsense on Freenode
#7745
<miche> I can juggle 2 balls at once! :)