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#294696
<Catdaemon`> what does * do
<Ortzinator> everything
#32208
<cayde> It's getting harder to get a summer job these days
<tam> cayde: maybe cos it is winter?
#4275
<someone> anybody who would by Celine Dions music deserves to have their computer crash ;)~
#32294
<Travisimo> I always thought Pooh and Piglet were always happy because they weren't wearing pants.
#37651
Raiko: Doom 3 is just "Kill the bastards"
CGT: haha nothing wrong with that
Raiko: But you don't know why they are bastards
Raiko: Is it species racism?
Raiko: or is it something they did
CGT: I suppose so
Raiko: what did they do?
Raiko: jealousy of the huge penises?
CGT: most likely
Raiko: Yes
Raiko: Gotta be it
Raiko: They have giant penises and the marines want them
Raiko: Thats the only way they'll feel better about themselves
Raiko: Anything to justify I suppose
#4482
<CabbagePatchKid> I AM THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF FEAR
<andy> Who knew evil would be so chubby.
<CabbagePatchKid> You can change my diaper too. JUST LIKE A REAL BABY.
<CabbagePatchKid> YES WRITHE IN TERROR, MEAGER HUMANS.
#33333
<mindstorms> so, you up for writing "definitely not a bomb" on your luggage and running around with a bag of sugar screaming "oh no anthrax!?" and wearing an outfit that consists of nothing but metal, just for some more fun in the metal detectors.
#41951
<influxsys> my girlfriend is usually really panicy. Like something is going to go wrong, or she won't be able to do something in a certain time. Everything seems to worry her. So i sometimes like to watch her sleep, you know. she looks so peaceful, happy, relaxed. it's rather nice.
<influxsys> then i tea bag her
#20162
<`FrEaK> that chick was hot... he prolly had a huge boner
<g0dsmack> only you would care if another man had a huge boner.
#21800
»»»» Now talking in #Counter-Strike.net.
<FirebirdX> Counterstrike is for newbs
« iNothing » yep
<FirebirdX> Only people with small weiners play it
« iNothing » yep
<FirebirdX> Only people who enjoy having gay sex while in fox suits play it
« iNothing » yep
<FirebirdX> Only people who say 'yep' play it
« iNothing » maybe
<FirebirdX> blast! foiled again!
#12227
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain
#59677
(regarding a text ad saying "Quantum Mechanics & You: How You Can Master Quantum Time To Gain Extreme Wealth And Success")
drw: I wonder if there's a way I could use quantum mechanics to pass the test in quantum mechanics
drw: other than learning it
zee: there probably is
zee: but you won't know about it until you learn quantum mechanics
zee: so you're kinda pwned
drw: well
drw: perhaps after learning it I could use quantum mechanics to travel to the past and tell myself how to do it without learning quantum mechanics
drw: thus closing the loop
drw: ok
drw: I'll just sit here and wait for my future self to arrive
drw: it kinda solved itself
#19634
«°º°» Joins -- Guest9232023 [ Guest@DynastyNet-9315.dial.bright.net ]
<Guest9232023> hi
<X13> Hey.
<X13> :)
<Guest9232023> help me onto irc
<Guest9232023> how do i get on irc
<X13> You're on IRC.
<Guest9232023> o
#306718
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
#50718
<Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
<Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked.
<Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine.
<Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn".
<Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever.
#60271
<Ted> Ooh ooh! My cache has my credit card number it. Now I don't have to pull out my wallet. Thank you, Internet
<RayTracer> Now is that a bug or a feature?
<Ted> There's no privacy on the net anyway, so it defaults to a feature
#5694
<Luke> spammers probably love receiving spam. "Grow your penis 150% overnight? Why didn't we think of that one!"
* delYsid has mortage, opportunity and penis in his score file.
<delYsid> thats pretty effective against spam
<Luke> aren't you worried about missing opportunities to mortgage your penis?
#296747
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#300391
<dessin> I got a spam email about a week back that slipped through my filter
<dessin> usually they don't get through, I get maybe one or two every year
<dessin> so I open up the headers and it turns out there's a yahoo account as the reply-to
<dessin> figured it's a long shot but I emailed it saying "stop sending me spam, asshole"
<dessin> turns out this guy is a complete dumbass and actually put his real email in the reply to - emails me back saying "fuck you, I'll spam who I want" and asking how I got his email and shit
<iggi> lol
<dessin> so I checked the headers again and found the IP that the email was sent from
<dessin> did a geoip lookup and got a pretty specific location in london, and found the local exhange from google maps
<dessin> and it was kinda out of the way in london so the exchange maybe covered 600 houses or so
<dessin> so I print off like 1000 leaflets saying "there is a spammer in your area, if you have any information please forward it to the police" and stuff
<dessin> took a train to london, two bus changes to the area
<iggi> wtf hahaha
<dessin> went round and posted the leaflets through every house in the area
<dessin> anyway this morning I get an email from the guy asking how I found his house and begging me not to tell the police
<iggi> ROFL HAHAHAHAHA!!
<iggi> massive overkill man
<dessin> I fucking hate spam :P
#61358
< withnail> i read a true story in a book today, cracked me up. these guys are on a picket line for striking dock workers or something, and they have a snowman there with a toy cops helmet on and a frown made of stones there. anyway, a senior police officer in his range rover drives past and calls over some of the policemen supervising the picket asking about the snowman and saying he wanted it gone (what a dick) the other police said "well we feel a bit silly kicking down their snowman" so the top brass guy goes "fine! i'll do it myself!" and drives into the snowman......what he didn't know was
< withnail> that it was built over a concrete bollard. wrecked seven shades of shit out of his car
#16396
<sev0> remember in school?
<sev0> remember the kids upside down stuffed into the garbage can?
<sev0> 20 years later, ircops.
<sev0> do the math
#5419
<MisterQ> I found a way you can call people for free while on the internet
<shilantra> oh really
<Republica> It's called "Your Neighbor's Phone"
#7758
<FifthColumn> best place to pick up chicks is at the orphanage. those 18 year olds get sent out on their own with no place to go, usually
<mogismog> they're usually crazy, too, fifth
<mogismog> makes for a good time in bed
#46427
watchcorytwostep: hey do you know the harry potter spoiler?
DvngMnky: Nope, sorry.
watchcorytwostep: no thats good. im not talking to anyone who does. my friend warned me, i've managed to avoid it for 4 days now.
DvngMnky: SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE
watchcorytwostep signed off at 11:59:36 PM.
#39055
<DreamDemon> i got an awesome Bon Jovi/Vanilla Ice remix
<DreamDemon> weird i know but its really good
<MeRCedEs> i love those mixes
<DreamDemon> Living on a prayer
<MeRCedEs> mashups
<ct> where's the puke icon when you NEED it?