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#47058
<morton> I have a hampster named Bukkake
<jeeves> umm... we were talking about routers
<morton> I know, I just had to get that out there in the open
#294673
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words
#34215
<Khel> you know what rocks, when you have a headache, and you start up icq, and that FUCKING FOGHORN blares in your face
<Khel> Honestly though, what sort of retard makes a program that starts up by blaring a foghorn at you
<DeePer> the foghorn is a sign of like, bon voyuage isn't it?
<Khel> the foghorn is a sign of a big boat sailing through fog
#74613
<catinabox> i can't help being annoying
-- rmuser has kicked catinabox from #albinoblacksheep (I can)
Comment: irc.lcirc.net #albinoblacksheep
#8719
<AndrewB> Lonely..
<Linguica> aww
<AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
<AndrewB> Er, wrong window.
#863
<rob`> where does an irish family go for vacation?
<rob`> to a different bar
#914
<Fustard> fuck
<Fustard> now im bored.
<Fustard> oh well
<Fustard> at least i have a cock and the internet.
<Fustard> ill do something with that.
#33108
<Phaedrus> note to self, dont use the aliases page in mIRC as a note pad
#304398
seand: _^_ what are your computer specs
_^_: kinda good
_^_: i guess
seand: i wanted numbers, but okay
Comment: #projects@irc.strictfp.com
#312
<Tux> gimme a P, gimme an A, gimme a N, gimme an I, gimme a T, gimme an E, gimme an S! Whats that spell?
<Tux> PANTIES!
<Tux> er
<Tux> not really
<Tux> but it was close!
#55750
<xbf> argh addiction to manga is killing me
<Fibbles> thats darwin at work
#28309
<Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you lookin' for a good time"
<Boogieman> and she said "yes"
<Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
<Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
<Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say
#53289
<Cinsu> I'd love to see a warning on something where the background is flashing black and white and the text is flashing blue and red and it says "WARNING: If you are prone to epileptic seizures..."
#9645
<reflexive> WHAT'S COOL ABOUT THIS JOB
<reflexive> IS THAT I GET ALL THE COFFEE I WANT.
<reflexive> ehehehehhehehe.
<|reptile|> coffee blackens your teeth, taints your breath, and thrashes your nerves.
<reflexive> ...where's the downside?
#301836
<@PZT> "I want you to taste these," she panted as she unbuttoned her blouse, revealing two full-grown California grizzly bears. I was on the ground before it even clicked. I glanced upwards and wove my head to the left as a set of 2" claws plunged downward at me. They grazed the side of my face. It stung like hell. One of them was sitting on my left arm; I couldn't move. I felt around for the coat hanger she'd thrown to the floor just minutes ago. A careless move for an agent, I thought to myself. I twisted it around my wrist, forming a crude hook, and jabbed at the one on top of me. It rolled over, uttering primal groans of agony as blood dripped from its eyes. I slashed blindly to my left. I didn't break the fur, but it was enough. The second bear shifted its weight, and I was able to pry my arm free. Still half-naked, I grabbed the padlocked Armani suitcase and I stumbled out the motel room door.
<Scizor300> What the hell?
* Stoney is now known as Stonaway
<@PZT> I swore silently to myself as I dashed toward the dimly lit lobby. She'd been one of them all along. An agent. The Movement had warned me not to let down my cover, even for a minute. Why hadn't I listened? A prostitute, in the beat-down slums of Madrid? What was I thinking? Her name... Bertha. Bear-tha. She'd been dangling it in front of my face the entire night, but I had been too horny to listen. Or care, for that matter.
<+Mach> What the fuck?
<@PZT> I burst out the front door and ran down the street towards a departing bus. I didn't care where it was going; no human can outrun a hungry grizzly bear on foot. I heard screams behind me, followed by roars and a horrible gnashing sound. I stuck my good arm between the closing doors, pried them open and stepped on board. I threw a few coins at the flabbergasted bus driver and made my way to a seat, ignoring the similarly confused faces around me. It didn't matter to me; the honey was safe. That was all that mattered nowadays.
Comment: #armonte's_channel on irc.esper.net
#47135
< zeon> typing drunk is hard
< feenyx> it's just five letters
#961
<berzerker> my girlfriend is lucky because i enjoy giving oral sex
<Ash> She likes to watch, eh, berzo?
#29694
<Bifrost> BROWN NOTE > *
<triple6> POO JAM!
<DJ-Pyro> I always pick the best times to maximize this window
#8555
<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though: "Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.
#5276
<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows
#6576
<NMO> Instuructions to format: rip out hard drive, tie to back of car, drive on shit road, harddrive gone
#7831
<Oberon-> So does anyone have any projection on how cheap Pentium III
chips are going to get in the next few weeks?
<TeeCee> Cheep enough to be able to use them for floor tiles. :)
<Oberon-> TeeCee: Wow, cool thought! Massively parallel floor tiles -
a kitchen floor you can count on!
#7426
<glasnost> i was pasting it for everyone else -[
<glasnost> err
<glasnost> =]
<glasnost> fucking sad cyclops instead of happy 2-eyes
#17123
Vrex989: know wonder you failed english
#115317
<Zemyla> Did I tell you about what my friend Joe did in auto shop?
<Zemyla> He was working with an arc welder, and the welder tip got stuck to the metal.
<Zemyla> He knew this was a bad thing, so he grabs a hammer and hits the metal to get the tip off.
<Zemyla> Then when he pulls back, lightning arcs from the metal to the hammer.
<Zemyla> The teacher notices this, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
<Zemyla> And Joe bellows, "I AM THOR!", brandishes the hammer, and shocks the fuck out of the guy next to him.
Comment: #cmc on Nightstar