Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#13443
<[d]-kCmCg-> at least your computer didnt lock up like a nervous virgin on prom night....
#5309
<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays
#6151
<demalavor> do you want larger firmer breasts?
<IceBurner> No, I prefer my broad, flat manboobs
#159049
<Jeremy> I remember the first time one of my friends got stoned....it was fucking great. he thought he wasn't feeling it, and we were playing tekken tag. He's sitting there cussing because his remote's not working, then we look over and his right hand isn't on the controller, it's in the bag of popcorn.
<Jeremy> He was twitching his hand IN THE BAG like he was trying to hit buttons
<pariah> LMFAO.
<pariah> That is awesome.
<Jeremy> He ended up winning the match because I fell out of my chair laughing at him and couldn't stop
#27597
<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.
#2381
<Spyre-> the beers just sit there, silently staring, and mocking the mistakes my animal mind makes sometimes
#50738
<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
<seelet> wtf
<HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking weed, and fucking chicks
<seelet> :(
#44073
<CaT> Is there A way I can put video files on my computer and then use my computer as a server. Also, if I can, is there a way to limit the total files sent?
<|darc|> No, you need a SUPER SERVER CHIP. They cost BILLIONS.
<FETUS> Don't tell him that darc. Cat you could get away with just a regular server chip and that will only cost a few million.
#297567
<jgw> huh apparently "blackberry" means any phone with a physical keyboard and now this dumb fucking end user, who i graciously agreed to help with their personal phone is now pissed because i recommended a piece of third party software for the blackberry to connect to our calendaring server, and it does not work with their "blackberry" aka a Palm Fucking Centro
<jgw> i need to document this incident and point people requesting favors to it with a firm "no!"
<jgw> facepalm
<RangerRick> jgw: don't you mean, faceblackberry?
#37835
<Bikke> Whoah, I'm in better shape than I'd expected.
<Bikke> 3 miles plus 6-700 vertical feet in like 20 mins
<GauHelldragon> that is a very impressive jump :o
#8487
<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure
<cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
#2469
<conceited> i cant sleep till i know im using up half of the neighborhood bandwidth
#9961
<CWO_LEADER_XPUNK> He wants to be klined, I dont wanna know if thats a sexual thing or what
#3810
<Scofco> i used to have wet dreams about carmen sandiego
#31324
<Vorbis> hentai games are sooooo boring
<Portable591> They aren't even games.
<Portable591> It's like getting yourself off with an interactive powerpoint presentation.
Comment: #raspberryheaven at mircx
#90649
<X> i want like
<X> a vagina for a week
<%Growly> Me too
<%Growly> Not on me
<%Growly> but access to one
<X> i'd want one on me
<X> just to see how it feels
<X> (AND USE IT TO STORE COINS AND VARIOUS ITEMS)
<%Growly> I'd call you creepy if I hadn't had that thought myself
#40923
< lux> my toilet is dying
< lux> my poop is too much for it
<@wwmrtww> mouth to mouth!
Comment: #ramen
#118822
cycon365: autistic kids rock
cycon365: we're all afraid of him shooting us, so we take that into account and just try to talk and joke with him
cycon365: he talked with us and our teacher and kept making "your mom" jokes
kyo212: lawl
cycon365: we got tired of him talking in general so we tried to curb his "mom" jokes
cycon365: so we were like, "dude, you shouldn't make fun of people's moms, my mom could be dead"
cycon365: and the kid goes, "no she's not", so i look at him and go, "oh yeah, how do you know"
cycon365: and he quickly replies, "cuz she was awesome in bed last night"
kyo212: gawd, you got pwned by an autistic kid
#33453
<Hamhocks> if taking a huge shit is anything like playing chess, consider me the next garry kasparov
#16369
<esokitty> FUCKING A
<kitten> fuck a B it has more holes
#41056
<@Hatman> Well that was fun
<@Hatman> At dinner, we usually watch tv, and as usual I am mesmerised by it..
<@Hatman> Well, I was trying to scoop some sauce out of a bowl with my knife...actually that was after I was trying to eat my food with two knifes, wondering why the fuck it wasn't working without realising..
<@Hatman> Anyways, I'm trying to scoop some sauce out of this bowl while watching tv...
<@Hatman> So my Dad goes 'Constantin, why don't you just use that spoon in front of you'...
<@Hatman> ..just when he said that a ad for Matrix, which is going to be shown tomorrow, came on, and I just said "there is no spoon"
<@Hatman> ..and he get's all pissed of and goes "what the fuck are you talking you moron, it's right in front of you"
<@Hatman> ..I'm done.
#141669
(@Gunrun) Pringles are clever
(@Gunrun) they're like... self regulating
(@Gunrun) if you can't fit your hand into the tube to get more
(@Gunrun) then you probably shouldn't be getting more anyway
#5942
<DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.
#17390
<@Afterglow> what's the point of irc anyway
<@Afterglow> everyone idles
< destruct> the "point" is that if you take the third word spoken on the second tuesday of every month of the the third person down in each channel you visit on irc, they will form a description of the path to the lost city of atlantis
#7221
*** mrBlond changes topic to "The QuakeFEST is....."
*** fern changes topic to "The QuakeFEST was yesterday !!"
<mrBlond> wow I must be REALLY lagged then