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#25144
<Ebony> Did anyone else realize that the media-dubbed "The War Against Terrorism" comes out as "TWAT"?
#4209
<slacker> drunken sex is cool because your mind wanders
<slacker> you think about shit like...mountains
#32497
<@Mike> ahah!
<@Zero> ?
<@Mike> the source for microsoft windows!
<@Mike> 10 * BEGIN
<@Mike> 100 GOSUB 7000 ; * Load stuff
<@Mike> 110 GOSUB 900 ; * Show windows logo
<@Mike> 120 GOSUB 20000 ; * Prompt for operator login
<@Mike> 130 GOSUB 32000 ; * Fill half of memory with DLL's
<@Mike> 140 GOSUB 16000 ; * Time waster loop
#9336
<Undertow-TOoL> You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is
#23965
([CoP]Torn) We got a war tonight but no admin yet can someone admin us ~ CoP vs DeF Div 3
([CoP]Torn) We got a war tonight but no admin yet can someone admin us ~ CoP vs DeF in Division 3
([CoP]Torn) We got a war tonight but no admin yet can someone admin us ~ CoP vs DeF in Division 3
(@zapp) stfu kthx
(@zapp) dont spam
([CoP]Torn) who's kthx ?
#163702
<Dexi> is it bad that I kinda maybe sorta have a little crush on this cute adorable funny goth chick with upwards of 37 piercings?
<Tiel> ...
<Dexi> a new one every week
<Tiel> and what attracts you to her?
<Tiel> did you swallow a magnet?
#23245
<mAJ0RD> im so glad i spent $0 on office xp
#6871
Abyss: i deeply resent the use of the term 'purity' in any context with 'The Brothers Drunk.' :)
Phil: Oh I dunno. The purity of the alcohol is an important concept...
Dex: Yup, anything filtered through that many kidneys is going to have to be pure.
#44065
<sirveaux> so here is my take on just one aspect of intarweb politics: AOLers
<sirveaux> (AOLer) The other day, a I and a chum of mine were in the middle of an intellectual debate pertaining to the German spelling reform of 1996 and its ramifications when--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg dude r u liek an AOHELLER?/
<sirveaux> (AOLer) Why, yes I am, and--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg lolollol
<sirveaux> AOLer was kicked by nonAOLer (leik omg aohel si 4 faggerts)
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) rofflekopter
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) lest go fap to screnns of linix
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) well lemme grab sum lube, wud u
#30523
<Supachikn> square and sony are based in japan
<Supachikn> and heaps of other game devs
<Supachikn> and anime
<Supachikn> and hot chicks
<Supachikn> and rally cars
<Supachikn> and nice motorcycles
<Demigoat> and all night whale-meat buffets!
#64565
<@psych0sys> i told my old boss once i wanted to fuck a pregnant bitch so i could say i had a threesome
<@psych0sys> she freaked out
<@psych0sys> what a fucking bitch
#36142
<timmo> my friend and i were driving someplace one day
<timmo> and we were driving his womans car
<timmo> he got a nose bleed and i was looking through the glovebox
<timmo> for tissues
<timmo> the only thing i saw was a tampon
<timmo> he shoved it in his nose
<timmo> the thing they dont tell you is
<timmo> when a tampon soaks up blood
<timmo> it expands
<timmo> so after like 5mins
<timmo> hes trying to pull it out
<timmo> and its not coming out
<timmo> eventually he got it out
<timmo> and threw it on the sidewalk of the mall
<timmo> :x
#52944
<Charlie> Lets play a game
<Charlie> you put an ^ and say what you think about the person above you then put a v for who you think the next person will be
<jakle> how do you get a down arrow?
<Genga> ...
#44920
<jvarner> heh. Tennis commentator at the olympics:
<jvarner> "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... oh my god, what have I just said?"
<nougatmachine> w00t
<jvarner> another fun one:
<jvarner> "Julian Dicks is everywhere - It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
<nougatmachine> haha
* nougatmachine loves this extremely highbrow humor
* jvarner gives nougatmachine a melvin.
#56737
dansSUCHaniceguy: Dude, you ever do something and you just know it's wrong?
dansSUCHaniceguy: The whole time you're telling yourself, This is WRONG
dansSUCHaniceguy: Just going through with it, doubt and guilt eating away at you but you do it anyway
gravybythepint: dammit did you fuck kyle's girlfriend
dansSUCHaniceguy: Get your mind out of the gutter
dansSUCHaniceguy: I drank the last of the orange juice
#32785
<MKendora> I get concerned when what I see on TV enters my dreams.
<MKendora> since that happens fairly often...
<MKendora> and since all I watch is Law & Order : Special Victims Unit...
<MKendora> I get all kinds of sex crimes in my dreams :/
#18376
* Protocol stabs Scythe in the knee with a rusty bent screwdriver *crunch"
* Scythe takes off the kneepads....heh didnt plan on that huh bitch?
<jitspoe> I won't ask why you were wearing kneepads to begin with...
#16188
<wof> does anyone really use emacs?
<Pills> my wife used to
<wof> really?
<wof> what'd she do?
<Pills> she... edited files? :)
#30631
<Lippizanr> i'd be a lesbian if i didn't like penises so much.
#23226
<Sephy> this booger is colored weird
<Sephy> and it won't leave my finger
<Sephy> now it's on the q key
<Sephy> qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
<Sephy> die booger die
#22694
<YT> o_0
* YT rubs eye
<YT> o_O
<YT> there we go
#29045
<StillAway> omg i got spam saying 'someone at work likes you'. they really dont target this shit well do they, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB
#15840
<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.
#10869
<Stuckie> I had to sit through the Sound of Music for TWO FRIGGIN weeks.. bloody school shows... probably why I've cracked... lol
<Stuckie> The hiiiiiills are aliiiiiive with the sound of **BANG!!** DIE YOU BASTARDS!!! **BANG!!**
#19983
<@Son_Gohan> you are lame, and pwnz is such a fucking gay word
<@Son_Gohan> its even worse then w00t
<Zeph> woot pwnz