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#16298
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health
#216997
<Shii> ethane, mcdonalds can be a fun and rewarding job
<Shii> to get fired from
<Cpl_Ethane> Shii: I worked there, over uhm
<Cpl_Ethane> 15 years ago
<Cpl_Ethane> and I got fired
<Shii> what for?
<Cpl_Ethane> shii: you know those paper burger king crowns that BK used to hand out? I showed up to work wearing one
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#14591
<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)
#235037
(@Iridium) I had a weird dream last night.
(@Iridium) similar to the email shit, a paparazzo managed to get high res, incontrovertible pictures of Sarah Palin on a farm fucking a horse.
(Lid) she was fucking the horse? as in she was wearing a strap on behind a mare?
(@Iridium) No, she was up under him.
(@Iridium ) I kinda figured normal people wouldn't be concerned with the details of that part.
#51220
Zorro: what do I do if someone wants to Cyber me but there are people around?
Null: Never ask that again.
#68259
<mrk_mat> I am BRILLIANT
<mrk_mat> found the loophole I needed to get what I wanted done
<d4_teh_gr8> "it aint cheatin if she's your cousin"?
#311340
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail
#306526
[discussing an artist's depiction of sleep paralysis]
<Rena> also I get the demon on her chest, but why is there a horse peeking in?
<XkeeperLaptop> Freud?
<RedSnifit> It's a night mare.
#41103
* Flippy_D is bored. And Tired. And sexually frustrated. And hungry.
<Pokehan> Play a game. Drink some coffee. Can't help you there. Eat.
Comment: #ags on irc.quakenet.org
#122527
Mistah_Kurtz: you think lawyers have like a numerical batting average
Mistah_Kurtz: for cases won vs lost
Mistah_Kurtz: so that other lawyers know about them
Mistah_Kurtz: they could make lawyer trading cards
Mistah_Kurtz: and it'd be worth a shitload of money if you got like a johnnie cochran law school card
#71
<strobe> damn, NeXT users are a weird bunch
<strobe> Did the NeXT cube come with free crack or something?
#54400
<hawk09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<hawk09>yeah.i sent them to her dad
#52935
During 2005 NYC MTA strike...
ZeK666: "Breaking news: Bush attempting to intervene, said he feels confident he can solve this problem because has managed similar situations in Railroad Tycoon."
#22078
<ElDuderino> I heard having sex with women made you gay
<Shai-Gar> is that why youve never tried it mark?
#32729
<Mayseth> And I'm going to start carrying a sock puppet around with me.
<Dweller> good god.. there is another one like me somehwere?
<Mayseth> Whenever I excuse myself I shall place it in my chair and tell them "This is Lefty the sock puppet.. he shall rule in my stead while I am otherwise detained"
#56905
<MrMiyagi> Do I seem gay to you?
<Jenna> no, vince..why?
<MrMiyagi> Well..I was watching pro wrestling and..I'm not talking like full fledged boner or nothin but..
#19458
<[RP]nanoTech> the study of physics will always be safer than biology, for while the hazards of physics drop off as 1/r^2, biological ones grow exponentially.
#25638
<Aximili> WHAT THE DAMN HELL WAS THAT AHHHHHH
<Nicklon> ·Aximili· => puberty
#302651
<ryan22> have you guys looked into getting a bug tracker. i recommend github or launchpad
<terinjokes> Bug #1 Unable to kick ryan22 [Status: Open] [Priority: Low]
<ryan22> heh
<BHSPitMonkey> Bug #1 status has changed: Assigned to Kaatje
* Kaatje has kicked ryan22 from #iphonelinux-dev (Kaatje)
<Kaatje> Bug #1 status has changed: Completed
#52991
<Maniaman> bah
<Maniaman> i forget how to spell maintenance
<Maniaman> wait nevermind
Comment: #gscript at irc.freenode.net
#48754
<treb> what do you do to a command to make it run in the background?
<@Celestina> scare it?
Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
#3181
<jip_> anyone know offhand how to make comments in lisp?
<Jumper> people still use lisp ?
<Liqd_Work> people started using lisp?
<MediArc> people can program?
<Jumper> ..people ?
<MediArc> ??
<drlion> there was light?
#8588
<baguette> and it's a pain in the ass
<baguette> guys, that is
<waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then....
#49988
<moo> I want to get a stuffed kitten doll, and then go to the sporting goods store and buy one of those walnut plaques they use to mount animal heads.
<tbird> ok
<moo> After cutting the stuffed kitten doll in half (front half and back half), I'll take the back have and attach it to the plaque.
<moo> I will hang this on the wall of my office.
<tbird> ok
<moo> When people ask me what the hell it is, I will answer, "That's a cat ass trophy. I figure if I can keep it here, the business will run more smoothly."
<moo> Then, after a month of answering this question, I will detach the half-kitten doll from the plaque and leave it laying on my desk.
<moo> When people ask me what the hell happened, I will answer, "Cat ass trophic failure."
<tbird> o_O
#27364
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> in my room
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> on my bed
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> they did loom
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> give me head
<sheeps> ok, the last bit was a lie
<sheeps> and I have no fucking clue what loom means but yeah