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#9326
<Scythe> caps lock is not your friend.
<Scythe> In fact, it is your mortal enemy and it made very disparaging remarks about your mother.
#85719
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
#4162
<Rhelik> our conversation about having to recompile PHP is the equivilant too
<Rhelik> lex:"my car won't start" rhelic:"it needs a new starter" lex:"so how do i fix it?" rhelic:"get a new starter" lex:"does that mean i have to get one?" rhelic:"are you an idiot?"
<Rhelik> lex: stop bitching and just fix it, you sound like a bad girlfriend
<lex> i am a girl
#146404
<Cosmo> Fox is pro war and anti good tv shows
#22756
<LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
<exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
<DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
<LarsC> yeah. i fuck you, and you don't even know I was there.
<Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem.
#29717
<AlmtyBob> I'm going to have the girl I made out with come to my office on her lunch break
<AlmtyBob> and have some "fun at work"
<AlmtyBob> *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
<IceWizard> ... you two are going to link up GBAs?
<IceWizard> and play Tetris?
<AlmtyBob> N0!
<AlmtyBob> ADVANCE WARS PLS
#3439
<dodge> i tell ya
<dodge> youre sitting here one minuite, the next thing you know youve just woken up and theres ya laptop under yer pillow...
<Lord-Data> nope.. just you ...
#29220
<BD|Aweh> just like i pay £1m for every condom i use due to the size of it <The_Package> micro technology is mega expensive innit BD|Aweh :P
#4084
<nightfal:#java> damn, this quotedb gets funnier as a function of sleep loss
#34147
<MrMiyagi> the older you get, the better you get
<tharaka> not if youre a banana
#297753
<Seth> We were out fishing one time, and I was like, "So what would you do if I was dating your daughter?"
<Seth> And he goes, "I'd kill you."
<Seth> Straight faced, too. ;(
<Seth> And then he pulls out a knife, still straight faced.
<Seth> And then goes, "Just kidding man. She already told me."
<Seth> I damn near shit myself. ;<
#4248
<Dark_un> monitors so dark
<Dark_un> cant watch rush hour 2
<Dark_un> can barely see chris tucker
#54288
<Nero> Hey, C, have I by any chance told you my story about the Amish buggy?
<Gwendolyne> No.
<Nero> Once upon a time, me and a bunch of friends are headed to my friend's house about an hour away. We get off the highway, and because we're in Bumfuck, PA, we end up, behind, of all things, an Amish buggy.
<Nero> So we're behind this stupid-ass Amish buggy for several miles, and it's going at like, 10 MPH or some shit.
<Nero> And then it makes a turn into a store.
<Nero> Guess what store.
<Gwendolyne> Walmart?
<Nero> No.
<Nero> Advance Auto Parts.
#591
<gb> I'M BREAKING OUT THE DoS
<gb> THERE GOEZ ED
<gb> BYE BYE
<hypr> DONT DOS ME"
<hypr> FUCKERKGHJIJGEG
<blazemore> hypr: quick, go buy dsl!
#303922
<Nyvelion> Check this out, I finally made a cool script that bans anyone who mentions loli around here.
=-= Mode #amarriner.com +b Nyvelion!*jm@c-160-110.hsd1.fl.comcast.net by Nyvelion
=-= Nyvelion was booted from #amarriner.com by Nyvelion (Auto-Ban. No Stupid loli talk here.)
#22596
<Amora_Bunny> Dragon is my pet bitch
<Dr4g0n> nope
<Dr4g0n> yep
#4509
<CoMBo> haha, dude i can kill u
<CoMBo> with my bear hands
<refujee> you're a bear?
<refujee> or did you just get bear hands grafted onto your body?
#15485
<SmugLynnPlums> with all this quote shit going on, everyone on IRC is going to witty as fuck or make an ass out of themself doing so.
#74927
<@hybrid> this commercial said "PeoplePC is your best choice for dial up and find out why JD Power & Associates Ranked Us Best Customer Service Among Dial-Up Service Users"
<@hybrid> and i thought... isnt that like an award for "Happiest Wife in Abusive Relationship?"
Comment: #imagi-nation freenode
#16802
<NobleKale> old friend emails me with 'I have two special consideration exams next week. what do I study for them?'
<NobleKale> my reply: 'RTFM'
#19478
* Straylight hate hate HATES Verizon ads
<+Straylight> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
<+Straylight> FUCK YOU THEN
#5501
<maff> word to your mother.
<maff> especially on mothers day.
#295415
<~Vespa> I had a lesbian (a very intoxicated one) come onto me once
<~toto> They wanted a drink dear
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they bought me the drink
<~toto> They'd spiked it and wanted your wallet then.
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they thought I was female
Comment: #dirt
#35718
< Hossmann> school now
< Hossmann> later
-!- Hossmann is now known as Hossmann[zZzZ]
#2721
<MiddleSF2> wow 80 people eh? I thought irc would be closed on x-mas eve ^_^