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#253988
<Fox> oh yeah, mr little brother got in trouble at his college today, it was pretty funny
<Fox> the first day of a huge lab class and the teacher was trying to introduce himself and be friendly with everyone, and asked "Are there any stories you'd like me to tell about myself?"
<Fox> and my brother wasn't paying attention and half asleep so he said out loud what he was thinking at the time, what he meant to say to himself as a joke
<Fox> "Tell us about the first time you masturbated"
<Fox> he said the teacher turned bleach white, and the girls in the class turned red, the rest were laughing
#17771
<suffocate> i wanna know if thewre are any Visual Basic packets
<suffocate> under linux
<suffocate> ???
#57180
<taxman> Okay, I seriously don't know how this could happen.
<taxman> I woke up this morning and went into the bathroom to piss
<taxman> One of my nostrils is really itchy and so I grab a piece of toilet paper and blow my nose
<taxman> When I look at it, there's a fucking EARWIG amidst a sea of snot
<Rintin> rofl
<taxman> So I shout in surprise, "Holy fuck! How in the hell did that get up there?!"
<taxman> I drop it in the toilet, flush it and open the bathroom door, and my mom and wife are standing there, staring at me with their mouths half open.
<Rintin> holy shit lmao
<taxman> They haven't stopped making fun of me about it. So I'm here. :/
#1240
<gb> drugs make music better
<gb> you ignorant fuck
#34916
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing
<Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
<tack> or rape them
<Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
<tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
#295368
<anon1> You come across a girl in the forest, both her legs are broken and she says that she has just been raped, What do you do??
<brotha> unzip and get ready for round 2?
<Henaby> Check my compass, i MUST be walking in circles.
#8226
(@T-56): anyone up for some drunken baseball fun next weekend?
(+de-v1): baseball?
(+de-v1): k before i just THOUGHT you were gay
(+de-v1): now i know for sure
(+de-v1): :P
(@T-56): steph: ok, scratch baseball, how about water polo
(+de-v1): you just want to be in a pool with 20 guys in speedos are trying to grab balls
#49732
TennisJump: i can't believe you said 1337
TennisJump: at camp in a conversation
TennisJump: even worse
TennisJump: I was the only one laughing
Fazfly: yea, your pathetic
#93
<Mootar> what was god thinking when he made my ass sweat?
#29448
<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.
#13401
(tarmac) FUCKFDUCKFUCKFUCUFKC
(tarmac) OMG
(tarmac) PAIN
(tarmac) my nipples are chaffed
(tarmac) from running
(tarmac) with a wet shirt
(tarmac) and
(tarmac) i sprayed colonge on
(tarmac) WOW
#15467
<rogue> I like how matt took the time to tell us he was vomiting
<rogue> it's that kind of detail that really makes this channel work, I think
#5786
<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret passage
#6239
<BBKSleep> I got busy on thursday, it reminded me of why I don't get busy.
#7454
<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable
#5971
<Pseudonym> I got my mom addicted to GTA3 by accident ><
#4447
<Idioteq> shit.. the zombie processes have gone chaotic on my pull parity
<happy> flip the bits, STAT
<Yoinkster> you should also vi the slackware
<thirtyseven|IGOTHEADTODAY> I get the idea that you guys might be making this shit up.
#16
<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.
#6721
<PUTZINGoff> Does a kid wake up one day and say Mommy/Daddy I want to grow up to be a PROCTOLOGIST!!!!!
#4416
<ltbs> SomeGirl: you have Pantera. It's a weird strain of Anthrax. You should also watch out for Sepultura, Megadeth, and Black Sabbath
#2535
<gloone> seriously, i can watch porn for like 500 hours straight and still not get bored..
<gloone> without jax0ring or anything..
<gloone> there's something wrong with me :|
#39284
<mkat> o.o
<mkat> wtf
<mkat> I'm wireless
<mkat> XD
<mkat> I am teh wirelessseeee!
<mkat> as in
<mkat> NO WIRES
<mkat> XD
<mkat> Boy these orinoco cards kick some ass
<mkat> I'm all the way across the street
* mkat has quit IRC (Read error: Operation timed out)
#3341
<MicroChip> ok, so who's gonna win the superbowl?
<Chucker-away> the Yankees
<bishop> the sox
<MicroChip> you guys are so female
#4174
<PapiChu1o> i only like DreamWeaver because it takes away the pain of staring at text
<S5474> I use a text based editor because it takes the pain away of pointing and clicking ;)
#48107
<@dma> root@laureate:/etc/ssh# cowsay -f sodomized `fortune`
<@dma> _________________________________________
<@dma> / When confronted by a difficult problem, \
<@dma> | you can solve it more easily by |
<@dma> | reducing it to the question, "How would |
<@dma> \ the Lone Ranger handle this?" /
<@dma> -----------------------------------------
<@dma> \ _
<@dma> \ (_)
<@dma> \ ^__^ / \
<@dma> \ (oo)\_____/_\ \
<@dma> (__)\ ) /
<@dma> ||----w ((
<@dma> || ||>>
<@dma> well that didn't come out like i wanted
Comment: #d&d on ZiRC