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#3649
<PapaWo|f> any girls care to chat with 17/m/Van/Lamer/zits for days/hideously overweight/naked right at this moment spanking off to animal porn? msg me

#3934
<maff> I've got a riot breaking out in my pants
<D1> need some backup?
<D1> I mean...
<D1> ok, that was really gay.
<maff> I don't get down like that d1
<D1> I apologize.
<Guilty> Why dont you just join the cast of Oz and get it over with D1

#19808
<phunqe> I may have a problem
<xav> define "may" :P
<phunqe> Well... I'm painting chairs in my appartment, and 30 minutes ago or something I painted them with this transparent overcoat laque thing.
<phunqe> I think I just sat down on one of them without any clothes.
<xav> Why don't you just stand up then? And let's not talk about that no clothes thingie again ok?
<phunqe> I have a very hairy ass.
<xav> FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN... IT'S DRYING!!!!!
<phunqe> Ok, I'll try...
...
<phunqe> I'm stuck :(
<xav> shit happens :P
<phunqe> I sure hope not now...

#1723
<k-rad-bob> i made an avi of me jacking off
<k-rad-bob> then i jacked off while watching it
* linKnee is afk: PUKING

#4525
<drlion> i think all the spam broke my god damn mailbox
<drlion> porn is fucking up the internet
<drlion> and we can do nothing but watch
<RabYak> heh...nice choice of words :)
<drlion> thanks, and i don't mean idiomatically

#19236
<Yumblie> I'm modest too, that's what makes me so magnificent and stupendous and wonderful

#311121
<atom_bomb> my girlfriend has been pressuring me to write a book about about my engineering methodology
<atom_bomb> (after i told her how much money the agile software alliance makes)
<atom_bomb> my methodology is essentially a longwinded justification of procrastination
<atom_bomb> it just happens to be scrum-compatible and highly effective

#297245
<MulleDK19> How would I do arctan without a calc?
<HiLander> first, dim the lights
<engimo> put on some barry manilow
<HiLander> pour two glasses of red wine
<engimo> light some candles maybe
<HiLander> and then.. wait for the magic to begin
<engimo> yeh
Comment: #math on freenode

#300623
< Dark-Fx> 2 printers 1 CUPS?
< myself> aaaaagh
* myself stabs Dark-Fx

#51335
<GenericLoser> A kid got detention today in French class.
<GenericLoser> He made a white flag for his project on French art.

#158063
<Craiggers> DG was making me watch Chimp Eden tonight and the dude was trying to catch bushmeat traders.
<Craiggers> It was fucking pathetic, he was standing there, being as White as my fucking bare ass with a camera crew, asking his Black friend to ask the bushmeat trader if he had any chimpanzee.
<Craiggers> The dude behind the counter was like "Uhhh, we do not sell chimpanzee because that is illegal and...uhh...wrong."
<Craiggers> Hell, I mean, why don't I go to downtown Indy with a fucking camera crew and ask to buy some crack.
<DeaconVerter> lol
<snex_lptp> maybe they figure a dumb knee-grow doesnt know what a camera is
<Craiggers> "Excuse me, my brother, I believe that I am whack for crack, and am interested in transacting with one who may be able to accommodate my business need."

#1800
<Matt-H> Leeches cure everything.
<JDigital> What about an allergy to leeches?
<Fry> What about loss of blood ?
<Matt-H> 'cept that, you witty bastard, you.
<JDigital> Or a fear of leeches.
<JDigital> Or lag.

#6706
<boomer> mount rushmore, contrary to popular opinion, did not grow that way

#1963
::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190)
~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ...
::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving

#4860
<cheerio> i like computers better than chicks cuz they will willingly accept my 3.5" floppy

#294950
<@swight> A black hole "is not a hole in the usual sense," says Amy Barger of the University of Hawaii Institute for Astronomy.
<@Rjx_> haha
<@swight> Thanks Amy Barger!
<@swight> she means you can't have sex with it
Comment: #geekissues

#306481
<rorski> You know how Ctrl-a-d detaches a screen session? I just accidently ran that in Outlook... which selected everything in my Inbox and deleted it.

#298803
<jatboy0> hello
<segin> uhh, hi?
<jatboy0> what is use of grep
<segin> Have you read the grep manual?
<jatboy0> yes
<segin> Do you understand English?
<jatboy0> yes
<segin> Then what is the problem?

#2339
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.

#56763
<Nero> ZXLink, I learned something today
<Nero> When someone asks you "you know what's retarded?"
<Nero> The correct response is "What?"
<Nero> Not "Kids with Down syndrome"

#25353
<Elfin> Hey, it happens. I don't want you to feel that you have to apologise for anything. This is #ecchi-attack, open to all kinds of people.
<Sak> EXCEPT THE BI-CURIOUS
<Elfin> YEAH. And faggots.
<Elfin> And black people.
<Elfin> And Muslims.
<Sak> And Asians.
<Elfin> And Pakistani's.
<Sak> And Native Americans.
<Elfin> Apart from them, everyone else is okay.
<Sak> Ahem.
<Sak> FORGETTING THE JEWS ARE WE???

#234700
<#xXRederickXx#> I love having all my neighbors on wireless Internet.
<#xXRederickXx#> this way when I'm downloadin pron all I need to do is switch to the McNallys network and I
<#xXRederickXx#> 1.) get pron from a faster uncorrupted source,
<#XxRederickXx#> 2.) get the satisfaction of having their asshole son sent off to military school for having impure thoughts.

#73450
<Buck> the MPAA site has an interesting anti piracy blitz going on for Christmas
<Buck> they say that they're protecting users from buying pirated copies of films
<Buck> then they go on to say that you can recognize pirated films by the fact that they're a lot cheaper, out before or while films are still in theatres, are region free and contain no DRM
<Buck> if I wouldn't have pirated before.. the MPAA sure has convinced me to do it now

#18957
<Randomman> I would'nt be late for work so often if only my cock would go off on fuckin time for once.
*** Randomman has quit IRC (Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.)

#28523
* Now talking in #freebsd
[dna`]: what's the difference between 4.8 and 5.0 in general?
<aaron-> .2

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