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#333
<TknoMncr> defunkt: if there's 1 thing I can't stand...
<TknoMncr> it's someone thinkin they're cool bringing a kid onto irc
<TknoMncr> I swear
<TknoMncr> if I find someone doing it
<TknoMncr> I will get em reported for child abuse
#25111
<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..
#15766
[markel(markel@i.got.shelled.at.shellyeah.org)] do you think if you walked down the street wearing a #unixhelp shirt, someone would eventually kick your ass?
#3969
<blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend and started talking to us
<blazemore> and asking which bands we like
<blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't heard of any of them
<blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"
<blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"
<ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them
<ScumDog> as a universal message of love
<ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word
#2955
<trccccc> I was going down on this one girl once.... and her clit was the size of my pinkie... I was all DAMN and exscused myself and went back down to the party
#179
<BlackDeth> hatter doesn't like cocaine
<BlackDeth> he just likes the way it smells!
#31891
<Derfud> what?
<Derfud> Goatse is dead!?
<Derfud> nooooooooooooooo
<LongHairedHippy> yes
<LongHairedHippy> i cried
<Derfud> the internet's favourite dialated anus is gone...
Comment: # desertcombat on gamesnet. RIP goatse
#14456
<cix> they're outside aren't they?
<s> what is "outside"?
<cix> it's that place they show on "Discover"
<cix> I think it's near Montana.
#31498
paranormal_angela: Who the fuck wrote this script.
docsigma2000: A sick sick person.
docsigma2000: Matt?
paranormal_angela: Nah, he doesnt know how to right.
paranormal_angela: *write
docsigma2000: *giggle*
paranormal_angela: nor do I, appearently.
#48610
<Balumstorm> I wonder if I can get this code in the kernel
<daveb> DCC it to me
<Balumstorm> daveb: okay
<daveb> oh, this is some nice code, it should be accepted
<Balumstorm> Yeah, I found it in some old OS
<daveb> really?
<Balumstorm> Yeah, SCO or something like that
<daveb> ..... :( god I hope youre joking...
#300584
Matthew: It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook. We have 11 friends in common. I need new friends.
#3734
<tomg> old, ancient, shouldn't be used, replaced with something better
<[ric]> yeh, like the excuses I get when I am dumped
#1508
<MegaWorld> Anyone awake?
<hypr> shutup im trying to sleep
#10972
Lara: I wonder if something scary will happen if I rotate my Everglide 180 degrees
*** Joins: Twitch (none@12-218-101-151.client.mchsi.com)
Lara: |\O_o/|
* Lara rotates it back
#15451
<Kolar> For the record, I want to get a copy of that one video of JFK getting shot, so I can dub in the Unreal Tournament 'HEADSHOT!' sound clip.
<Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald is on a KILLING SPREE.
<Domarcet> So what does that make the film of Ruby shooting Oswald?
<Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald's Killing Spree has been ended by Jack_Ruby.
<Kolar> Jack_Ruby was looking good until he died of cancer in prison!
<Kolar> And then the chat window could come up and say "JFKennedy: OMG camper fagz"
#1805
(treaz0n4) msn sent me a 4 page report on how to report spammers
#79449
<Kwahraw> we thought it was funny to use the pay phones to dial the tampax tampon hotline....
<Kwahraw> and ask random, annoying questions
<Kwahraw> so, once i call up, and, in my best 'girl' voice, I say "ever since I began using your product, my period's been green..."
<Kitten> what the ..
<Kwahraw> she replies "young man, if you have a period at all, you need to see a doctor"
Comment: irc.austirc.org #austirc
#267960
<palomer> I invented a new programming language
<palomer> now I'm wondering what to do with it
<palomer> ho hum
<Axle> what's it good for?
<palomer> programming:P
<Raevel> you're already ahead of a lot of the others
#308984
<tali> They call you TheWatcher? I can guess what you do :P
<TheWatcher> Yep, I listen.
#15920
<+kmad> whats the best way to get vaseline off your dick
<@BigJesus> sand paper
<+royceda59> lol
<+kmad> fuck you, not fallign for that again
#54161
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU
#7444
<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.
#120241
<@wormwood> you also put things in your butt
<@strtok> i don't put things in my butt
<@strtok> people put their things in my butt
<@strtok> big difference
Comment: #down efnet
#306718
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
#51899
* WC` has to get really good at GT4 by monday
<ScrubEXE> Whys that
<rsltne> HE HAS BEEN CHALLENGED BY THE GODS.
<WC`> fastest lap time in the university = next term's tuition paid
<Tinsle> o_o