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#61115
<^DX^> all day in class I thought I was sitting next to a gay asian kid
<^DX^> so I didn't want to look at him
<^DX^> then I finally looked and it was just a petite cute white girl
Comment: #SEO EFnet
#9099
<UTF-Xanieth> damnit
<UTF-Xanieth> im gonna have to lube up this space bar
<UTF-Low_on_Life> :o
<UTF-Xanieth> EmptyStare, you got some of that astrolube your bro uses?
#9130
<FairLighT> you know something's wrong when you have dreams about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass
#25137
<Dawai> i feel like fucking my gf in the ass real hard
<Dawai> the only problem is she dumped me some time ago
#10015
<RageATM> im allergic to porn it makes my dick swell
#167250
<an0n> If I ever find out someone has an inflatable love doll, I'm going to steal it and leave a note like "i've tried to make it work, Steve, but all you care about is yourself. What about MY needs? You treat me like a piece of meat, just here to fuck and cast aside. You've really let me down... :,("
#52272
-koroaway : So ...
-koroaway : a tanker truck full of beer crashed into a bus full of kids on their way to play hockey. In a snowstorm
-koroaway : does it get any more Canadian than that?
#25317
<RobertRence> Okay, since I've apparently got my definitions screwed up, define a hacker for me.
<Straylight> Hackers are people who dress in fruity colors and say things like "HACK THE PLANET" and hang around with Matthew Lillard and stuff
#50703
<Gravier> speaking of jerri
<Gravier> I made quite the faux pas with her therapist the other day
<Gravier> I usually don't talk like this
<Gravier> but we were schmoozing a little bit
<Gravier> doing guy talk
<Gravier> you know
<Gravier> brought up that jerri is a very sexual person
<Gravier> she's hot, you know, stuff like that
<Gravier> well I noticed he had a new receptionist
<Gravier> very pretty girl
<Gravier> and I said so
<Gravier> well, my exact words were, "She's got a hot little body herself."
<croiduire> not PC?
<Gravier> well
<Gravier> his exact words back were "She's my daughter."
#8081
<Nelyx> DilleMMa: thomas edison went through 3000 experiments before he perfected the light bulb
<DilleMMa> wow
<DilleMMa> another geek prevails
<Nelyx> show me someone successful who ISNT a geek
<DilleMMa> britney spears?
<DilleMMa> christina agerlia
<DilleMMa> mandy moore
<Nelyx> whore <> successful
#16438
<^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
<^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
<^bat-sai> when i was 13
<^bat-sai> i was mocked
<^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were there to play baseball on the snes
#3473
<Guilty> Oh shit who is watching the Olympics
<Guilty> Gay mans dream
<Guilty> In the ice skating relay thing
<Guilty> The guy going next sticks his ass out and the guy before him (skating up behind him) grabs the guy and grinds into his ass and then pushes
#295827
<paul> my mom was suspected of child abuse by my pediatrician as a kid
<paul> she swore up and down i wasn't being abused
<paul> the doctor was sceptical
<paul> they went out into the waiting room where I was
<paul> mom was like "paul, come here!"
<paul> I get up, look at her instead of where I was going, and run full tilt into a pole
<paul> doctor's like "sorry maam, you had to see this from my position"
#66954
* eml pokes suve in the eye
<@suve> :O
<@eml> No, you mean .O
#16175
<KAboomy> I used to be afraid of bees
<KAboomy> now I'm just afraid of mayonaise
#226601
<ktea> I'm not wasting waffles on my vagina
<@d_e> waffles and vagina in the same sentence.
<@d_e> that. is. greatness.
<@d_e> two of my favorite things.
<@d_e> add some bacon.
<@rm-fr> two great tastes, together at last
Comment: #bifemunix on Efnet
#7156
<vas> my dad recons i dont look up porn
<vas> cuase i tell him it would come up on the bill if i do so
#7359
* stormo is potentially cosplaying at manifest this year
<DannyS> stormo: you'll still lose all respect
<DannyS> i mean, it's like voluntarily going out in front of traffic and ramming a set of computer speakers up your arse
<DannyS> except the latter gets you more friends and respect
#309107
<@Oliphaunt> I've been put off the Kindle by richard stallman and other horror stories about amazon fuckery
<@Lorkki> I like the expression "richard stallman and other horror stories"
#16512
<KagoniKnight>: You know how sometimes a dog humps your leg?
<Pong-Chan>: .....
<KagoniKnight>: Well, sometimes, why not hump back and show who's boss!!
#84297
<stac> ...
<stac> wtf
<stac> i just called a mate in the office
<stac> he picks up and informs me that he is in the toilet taking a crap
<stac> i tell him i'll call later
<stac> and he says "no no, we can talk. it will be a longer session"
Comment: mWtNet/#sporks
#45867
<nV`StOkE> If /quit and /connect are swimming in the ocean, and /connect gets eaten by a shark, who's left?
<ToiletDuck-pwny-> /quit is
<nV`StOkE> wtf.
* nV`StOkE has quit IRC (Quit: is)
Comment: #pubmasters
#302145
< incluye> Oh my fucking are you serious
< incluye> Today's the day for Lesson 4.04 in Modern World Studies in my online course.
< incluye> GUESS WHAT ERROR I GET WHEN I GO TO IT
#39488
sissyduck420: thank god the iraqi girl was there today
sissyduck420: that douchebag alden changed my phone into arabic
#27907
<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1 week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?