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#301829
< shortcircuit> So here's a fun joke to play on your Star Trek loving friends. Ask them what the name of Star Trek V was, but don't let them look it up online.
< shortcircuit> Most people I've asked get it wrong; they give the name for Star Trek VI instead.
< SilentAgony> attack of the clones
< Mattijle> empire strikes back?
#29731
<Breej> Hey.
<Jaayy> Breej do you molest little boys?
<Breej> no.
<Jaayy> SICK FUCKING PERVERTED FUCK!
<Jaayy> oh.
<Jaayy> You said no. My bad.
#50471
so far gone fia: i fell asleep today in class
so far gone fia: it was so nice
scythen32: they don't kill you for that sort of thing at your school?
so far gone fia: well, we were watching a movie
so far gone fia: on buddhism
so far gone fia: i was "meditating"
#756
<folly> and anyone who tells you you can is a moron.
<folly> (or a windows admin, which amounts to much the same thing)
#147631
<KleverOneR> Hey carol...
<KleverOneR> How was the sex? 1 to 10
<Carousel> Which time??
<KleverOneR> Add them all together, then find the average
<Carousel> Hold on
|<-- Carousel has left dalnet (Ping timeout)
<Dayvid> Division by zero is a bitch amiright?
<KleverOneR>...
#20480
<asshat> went for lunch at the hardrock with a friend
<+mcfly> hardrock... is that the resturaunt where they serve you naked?
<asshat> went to the bathroom, was taking a piss, sneezed, and peed one the dude next to me's shoes
<asshat> sneakers
<asshat> Mark cuban wears Pony sneakers
<+mcfly> wait
<+mcfly> wait
<+mcfly> you peed
<+mcfly> on mark cuban?
<asshat> sprinkled his shoes
<asshat> from splashback from urinal
<+mcfly> BWAHAHAHAAH
<asshat> theres only 2 urinals in ahardrock cafe
<asshat> with a little divider
<+mcfly> thats cause they can't afford another
<+mcfly> but still
<+mcfly> BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<asshat> I apologized
<asshat> and i didnt realize who he was
<morningbell> did he call you a cunt
<asshat> no
<asshat> he laughed
<asshat> then left the bathroom and he sat and read the paper
<asshat> i told the bartender what happend, he laughed his ass off then he told me who that waas
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#19338
PeaceKeeperKate> woah PKD your popular
PKDainichi> Yep. Well, if by "popular", you mean "easy". ;)
#4419
<EnochRoot> #include pestilence.h
#15464
<Nozomu> ted: and no one has ever crashed a movie theater into the pentagon
<rogue> noz: they might. we should be careful.
#303193
<Yuyu> Im pretty handy at FAPS games though
<Yuyu> ...........
<Yuyu> FPS
#307893
<normalboy>rofl
<normalboy>re: hollow spy coins
<normalboy>Start the day thinking you had exact change to pay for breakfast; end the day realizing you paid with two dollars, three cents and six hits of acid.
Comment: #wtfux
#51574
bryan1835: using php5 with xml is like beating a midget in a footrace.
bryan1835: it's so freaking easy, it's not even funny.
bryan1835: okay, it's a little funny.
#23983
< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine
#57183
<Hyp3rHax0r> aw man
<Hyp3rHax0r> I just set up a new Dell at the library
<mikeonthecompute> k?
<Hyp3rHax0r> while I was removing the various AOL toolbars, Norton popped up to tell me it had created access rules for RealPlayer.
<Hyp3rHax0r> I had to take a shower after I was done.
#9589
<CMR> We're having a solar eclipse!
<RJR> Oo! Where?
#18447
<wishy> i saw gi jane and she was rockin the one armed push ups
<wishy> so i wanna do them
<Zimbu> "When I grow up, I want to be like GI Jane!"
#32811
< Mr-Bond> os[Windows XP Professional (5.1 - 2600)] uptime[2days 2hrs 7mins 10secs] cpu[1-AMD , 1999MHz, 256KB (42% Load)] mem[Usage: 443/512MB (86.52%) [|||||||||-]] gfx[RADEON 7200 SERIES ] screen[1024x768 32bit 100Hz]
< Mr-Bond> hate the way that yoke says 1999MHz
< Mr-Bond> its a 2 gig godanmit!
< acous> :)
< acous> it's for tax purposes
< acous> 2 gigs are more expensive to tax
< acous> :)
< Mr-Bond> you serious?
#38809
e l i t e m r p: The Recursive Drinking Game is the best! Whenever you take a shot, you have to take another shot!
#52841
< orange9> gentoo?
< ScooterTi> bless you
#33218
<ducklord> in earlier days, people took pride in combat and such
<ducklord> I take pride in not clicking bizarre porn
#4159
<Teratogen> what is the difference between PMS and PWS?
<Rhelik> Teratogen: one is a curse on men sent by god, the other is a curse on men sent by microsoft
#34140
<@FarkStatsBot> think you need to reboot
<star_angel> i did that already
<star_angel> so bot
<@FarkStatsBot> did you restart the computer?
<star_angel> yeah
<@FarkStatsBot> still didn't fix it?
<star_angel> and when i did then knux was lordcrank
<@FarkStatsBot> you might have a virus
<star_angel> no i have a school pc i cant get viruses... but thanks
#51058
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk
#307804
<@timmo> i have found that smartphones have kept me from drunk texting ugly girls
<@timmo> due to their face popping up in every text