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#305947
<+wklyver> man, you ever get something to work, but you aren't quite sure how
<+Cuntism> i made my gf cum once
<+Cuntism> does that count
#302185
<Stewart> One of my mates is trying to quit nicotine lozenges... by smoking
#183648
<Colin> Am I the only one who doesn't find the "your mom" business funny, by the way?
<Colin> as a parody of poor insults it might have been funny
<Colin> three years ago
<Colin> but you have been doing it for literally years now :P
<Asimir> I've been doing your mom for literally years now
#311057
<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal
#51373
NES: you should do what I did and try to convince your boss to migrate their whole massive application from vb6 to .net
NES: tell them it'll be very easy
NES: and then leave the company
#29648
<Huzzler> chmod 777 kouha
<Huzzler> Now I can make you do stuff for me :-)
<Factotum> 777?!? You slut!
<Huzzler> Yeah!
<Huzzler> Execute him :-)
<Factotum> ./kouha
<kouha> Hi. I'm Kouha version 0.456 beta. Rape me.
#20905
<Dabz> truly.nice.ass.3.cd2.avi <- disney film about a really friendly donkey?
#141016
<Sephgara> I've always wondered something...
<Xan> What?
<Sephgara> If you stab a fat person, would you get fat on the knife when you pull if out?
<_Celador> Ah a question for the ages
#297299
< juliaNYC> a tanning bed is like a huge ezbake oven right?
#56019
<@Stupid> Children need to feel secure, so strap them down whenever possible.
#16359
<knox> i used to use zippers but my foreskin got stick in it
<knox> i went to velcro and had some pubic hair problems
<knox> now i just wear dresses
#25169
<EssKay> i don't want to have fucking poles in my underwear, man.
<Rjx> that joke went so far over your head it got hijacked and flown into a major landmark
#305454
<@Elleo> based on current estimates all IPv4 addresses will have been allocated by March
<@Elleo> afterwhich we'll find ourselves living in a dystopian future where motorcycle gangs roam the streets killing people for their IPs so their mobile phones can get on the internet
<@Elleo> someone should make a film out of that
<@Elleo> Mad WiMax
#38557
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions
#10724
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m
#302945
<trifarce> so any more brilliant ways of forever changing a relationship, eric?
<dd7> try saying "honk, honk" each time you grope her
<trifarce> hahahaha
<trifarce> did you do that?
<dd7> yes
<dd7> she calls me skeeter now
#34529
<Kenn> This one girl... she asked me what brand my PC was
<Kenn> when she saw it
<Kenn> and I'm like, it's custom, I built it
<Kenn> she didn't believe me
<Kenn> and when she finally did
<Kenn> She called me a computer geek
Comment: #geekissues
#13753
<Flirbnic> I have a time machine.
<Twilo> That's your fridge
<Flirbnic> Then explain how I can put perishable food items in there and take them out several days later STILL FRESH?
#304152
<konaya> Right, I'm having a slight dilemma here.
<nickp666> konaya: sup?
<konaya> If I take the lift, I'll probably timeout on IRC.
<konaya> But I'm too lazy to take the stairs.
<rekoil> is the lift faster than freefall konaya?
<konaya> rekoil, that would be funny but no
<rekoil> you could throw the laptop, take the lift and catch it
<rekoil> thus remaining connected!
[...]
<konaya> Hm. They've fixed the wlan coverage in the elevators.
<konaya> I see my letters of complaint finally paid off then.
Comment: #idroid-dev@irc.macos86.hu
#295261
<numaris> you pidantic bitch santa
<SantaBJ> pedantic.
#445
<ck2k> i tap her car's bumper
<ck2k> and she has this estimate
<ck2k> 200 bucks
<ck2k> fuck you
<ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your bitch ass
#44843
<scott> I didn't do it. I wasn't there. I never saw her!
<scott> And she didn't tell me how old she was!
#4801
<Amanda> Oh yeah, a thug did his commemorative speech on "P Diddy" today
<kisama_> fuck thugs
<kisama_> thugs will amount to shit later
<kisama_> there's a bunch of thugs here taking CISCO NETWORKING CERTIFICATION courses
<kisama_> they are all "YEAH MAN I'M GONNA MAKE 80K COMING RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL MAN!"
#19521
<winmutt> on the brighter side of things the waitress t the bar last nite gave me her phone number... might as well have read "this coupon is good for a free fuck"
#7850
<JoeCuervo> i miss my gfs vagina...
<psychicbug> me too
<JoeCuervo> shaddap