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#39984
(Nick): nobody believed about my abs, so I took a pic of it.. nobody thinks I have a nice sized penis.. so do I have to prove you wrong again?
(Deranged): Exactly how far does your camera zoom?
#32629
<bleak> oh god
<bleak> my girlfriend has either the worst or ebst timing ever
<somniloquy> just caught you whacking off?
<somniloquy> and offered to lend a hand?
<bleak> somniloquy: well, no, I was, and she called me JUST as I finished.
#32391
(+Gothic_CatGirl) Ewwy I have to do to the doctor today
#71698
<TMH_> does anyone else find that they are in a fuckton of channels
<TMH_> and they only actually care about two or three
<jmx> define a fuckton?
<Thuryn> ten times a buttload
<LPF> that's a metric fuckton
Comment: #geekissues
#15961
<ninth> creed is the cutting edge
<JtHM> just cuz they make you want to slit your wrists doesn't make them cutting edge
#2452
<|Z|e|N|> A nick name is like a wife. You get bored with it but cant really change it, and if anyone else nicks it then theyre dead
#27828
[5:36] :: truder- [test@intrud3rz.users.undernet.org] signed off.. [Quit: A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.]
#306347
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#4019
<drlion> squirrels have sexy tails
<drlion> like foxes
<[ric]> hmm.... define "sexy"
<[ric]> in fact, don't... I will leave it to my imagination.. :)
#31202
<^Fizban^> I had a friend in college that wrote perl poems all the time
<^Fizban^> Guy was nutz
<^Fizban^> our $life = \$love and $togetherness;
<^Fizban^> and: foreach my $sweet (@first) {
<^Fizban^> little: until ($we . $met) { last 'and' }
<^Fizban^> }
<^Fizban^> if ($now . $we) { goto marry; $we . $shall }
<^Fizban^> bless our $life, More;
<osmaker> that's kinda sadish
<^Fizban^> warn "behave";
<^Fizban^> if (ignored) {
<^Fizban^> select paddle;
<^Fizban^> listen (protests, pleading);
<^Fizban^> shift overknee;
<^Fizban^> until (bottom == red) {use paddle};
<^Fizban^> study;
<^Fizban^> require apology;
<^Fizban^> if (no) redo;
#14014
<Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
<GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
<Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
<Slerte> err
#22893
<Ch33ky> is this the internet?
#19478
* Straylight hate hate HATES Verizon ads
<+Straylight> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
<+Straylight> FUCK YOU THEN
#1861
<synthmesc> is it narcassitic to jack off to a picture of yourself?
<Digested> synthmesc: it seems to fit the definition
<synthmesc> :/
<Digested> synthmesc: is it a picture of yourself fucking someone else?
<synthmesc> it's a picture of me jacking of to a picture of myself
<Digested> INFINITE LOOP
#3186
(Sarojin) Haha nice, I got referred to the Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership by askjeeves.com, and the banner on the top said across it "WHY PAY RETAIL!?"
#68
<HomerJ> Microsoft could shit in a box, adn most people would buy it
#3239
<BuSteR> afk my eyes are bleeding from this intense conversation
#19417
<Rayne> what does /finger do anyway?
<ShadowZero> it pleasures
#70943
<landen> dioid the spark of knowledge gleams in every student. the duty of the teacher is to water it.
Comment: #math on efnet
#2538
<Bizzy> say Æ Ø Y
<DAL9000> Æ Ø Y
<DAL9000> easy to say
<DAL9000> f00
<DAL9000> ¸ß
<DAL9000> say that.
<Bizzy> ¸ß
<DAL9000> õ þ
<DAL9000> now that
<Bizzy> õ þ
<DAL9000> now say this:
<DAL9000> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е/\/\ߪ§§
<Bizzy> ß|ZZ¥ |§ ª е/\/\ߪ§§
<DAL9000> bahahaha
<Bizzy> what?
<Bizzy> damnit
#306043
Akensai: if there is a hell, im going to it.
Akensai: research paper due: april 11 - i wrote it 10 minutes ago
Akensai: and i wont lose any points.
Akensai: opened an image in notepad, renamed it to research-final.docx and submitted, knowing full well it would take him 2 weeks to grade
(7:22:21 AM) Akensai: so i get an email an hour ago "The doc you submitted is corrupt, can you email it to me real fast? Sorry about this."
Akensai: so i wrote it in about 45 minutes and sent it
Akensai: he read it, got an A
Akensai: most of it was bullshit and broken reference links that i purposely placed, fake URLS to highly prestigious colleges/etc, just broke links and made em look real
Akensai: not my fault is a source is MIA
Akensai: 3 pages of made up crap that i didnt research, turned in more than a week late, written in 45 minutes. 98% A
#7478
[Demon5] ;p
[far_call] what's that symbol supposed to mean? "I have a scar on my cheek and I'm a mouth breather"?
#3591
<Slant> ....
<FutabaAoi> i see your ... and raise you ..
<FutabaAoi> !
<Slant> four baby.
* Slant shoots FutabaAoi for cheating at the '.' table.
#30938
<Caffeine> i was dared to go buy lube
<Caffeine> so i went with my best friend/housemate and talked about double ended dildos while hugging her in the checkout line with ky in my hand
<Caffeine> the cashier asked me 'how was your day'
<Caffeine> i said 'it will be better once i get this hunny home'
<Caffeine> her jaw dropped
Comment: Caffeine is female.
#49278
<OrangeKitten> Why the fuck does a search for 'assless fursuit' bring up 'What should I wear for my job interview?'?