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#36758
<ankleteeth> i cant believe people are still here...
<ankleteeth> what keeps you people amongst this crowd?
<FennecFoxen> eh? an old autojoin which I removed in February...
<FennecFoxen> then my system was reset to an image made in January.
<FennecFoxen> So.
<FennecFoxen> :)
#28453
<Lestat> Fuck these ping timeouts.
<Lestat> Fuck them right in the ear.
<Oolong> ear sex = safe sex
#307066
<Rose> Hot Topic is the ebaumsworld of clothing stores.
#279182
<flameblade> when it comes to ground speed, humans are the ultimate tortoise to nearly every other animal's hare
<celti> ...yeah.
<celti> I'd like to see you design a bicycle for a rabbit, though.
#10007
<rumorf> Any horny ladies from idia?
<micah> Where in the %@!@% is idai?
<dlphoto> It's where idiots are from.
#244195
BigPapaSmurf695: what the hell is a nosegay
az721: it's like a bouquet
BigPapaSmurf695: oh
BigPapaSmurf695: i figured they just put nose and gay together to make a silly name
BigPapaSmurf695: its like saying earhomo
BigPapaSmurf695: or eyefag
az721: ok, i think we should really try to get earhomo into the lexicon
#19617
<Rivorus> i feel stupid cuz i can never open the godam condoms
<Rivorus> and then when i get it on i feel even more dumb cuz I'm the only one in the room
#205994
Karl(10:34):hey, i'm after a little business advice. do you think it's ok to add the line "pay up you worthless mother*****" to the end of my statements to overdue clients?
Anika (10:47):Yes, that's standard business practice. I also add "All y'all niggaz be trippin if yuh try and play a playah, y'all end up dining on a bullet." That's actually legally binding.
#34055
<J3anyus> just cause i watch anime and listen to britney spears doesn't mean i want a big wang in my ass
#23733
<Peeps> You and me baby, we're like 13 and 37...
<Peeps> Together we're 1337!
#8391
<Anarchos> my penis is 6.5" long, so my long distance relationship must be no more than 5" away.
#21974
<create> <nikki> can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is
<joedirt> isnt that a french pastry?
#42758
< jnc> use someone else's underwear
< jnc> i mean
< jnc> bandwidth
Comment: #freematrix on irc.freenode.net
#1598
<k-rad-bob> omg
<k-rad-bob> I just realized
<k-rad-bob> I have a fully working penis in my pants
<k-rad-bob> brb
#300825
<@stoner> well, hillbillies say they aren't indifferent towards education
<@stoner> but that's probably just because they don't know what either of those words mean :P
#28887
<fred> i say, you shoot three people, because they won't make you apple pie, and all of a sudden you are a "murderer". what is the world coming to?
<fred> and then when the police have the audacity to come to "talk" they don't bring any pie with them. rude.
<fred> i hope you all realise my one phone call was wasted on this dial up connection.
#60111
<nach> I wonder in what weird cult the first person to shout "Holy Shit" was in.
<Dandylion> He was a Shitite
#65042
<stu14> Does Australia float around or is it stuck there
<Tom65789> Are you serious?
Comment: irc.gg-center.net
#317
<Megumi> hahaha ASL nate :P
<NtG> yourage + 1/if you = female { me = male } else { me = female }/surrey
#302208
<erin> Dammit, Windows! I KNOW the program is not responding. That's why I'm trying to close it.
#32479
<janedidit> when i was 17 i was babysitting all day for my aunt who had a two year old kid who was just a completely fucking spoiled brat
<janedidit> i was trying to get him to go to bed, after a 30 minute struggle with him, and i was sitting on the rocking chair watching the simpsons
<janedidit> when the fucking asswipe BIT MY ANKLE
<PickeL> LOL
<janedidit> and i screamed "YOU LITTLE BRAT I'M GOING TO KICK YOU LIKE A FOOTBALL" then my aunt walked through the door and was screaming at me saying "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?!"
<janedidit> i replied, "your little turd just bit my god damn ankle!" and she shoved me out the door and was like "i'll call you when you grow up!!"
<janedidit> then a week later i called her and said, "okay i haven't grown up yet but i'd still like my pay."
<janedidit> i've got a $45 check in my pocket and a little scrap of paper that says "i've never gotten along with my sister, but now i've got a reason not to talk to her anymore, thanks."
Comment: janedidit was babysitting for her aunt
#7359
* stormo is potentially cosplaying at manifest this year
<DannyS> stormo: you'll still lose all respect
<DannyS> i mean, it's like voluntarily going out in front of traffic and ramming a set of computer speakers up your arse
<DannyS> except the latter gets you more friends and respect
#53214
<withnail> effexor sounds like a hacker drug
#3433
<kolby> Allow me to be serious. Kolby serious? Yea right. Well I'm kinda drunk and feel like getting a few things off my chest. See I'm not even supposed to be alive right now. When my mom was giving birth there was a big problem. I was suffocating and I almost died.
<Wes> how were you suffocating?
<kolby> See what happend is that my dick was wrapped around my neck 8 times.
#29187
<niteshade> it's called ucontrol
<niteshade> I'm just chatting with one of the people that did a bit on it
<niteshade> will tell him
<snax> what does it do, kill caps lock?
<titikaka> it lets you reassign keys
<snax> cool
<snax> fast?
<titikaka> yes, it's fast
<niteshade> snax: does lots of other things
<niteshade> had this thing that lets you type with a one hand.... until the lawyers for a commerical patent made them stop it
<danamania> masturbating has been patented?