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#297793
<TrumpetSamurai> That's it? Tongue piercing? Psh. My "rebellious moment" in college overturned an authoritarian government in South America.
#295604
<archtech> An interesting experiment: cover your eyes fully so that no light leaks through. You'll always think you see some light leak through. Ask your friend to turn off the light, or do nothing. When he turns it off, you'll still see phantom leaking light.
<awormus> now I know the guy who is sitting next to me is on this channel because he's sitting here with his hands over his eyes
Comment: #phpc freenode
#57085
< Necr0s-> What makes a woman's nipples hard for days?
< withnail> superglue
< El^JonBen> death
< Kobi> botox
#303649
<Camille> I love my new job
<+ericc> where d'you work?
<Camille> it's a small coffee shop. doesn't pay much, but nearly everyone there is a gamer or irc'er.
<+ericc> nice
<Camille> yeah, we got busy around 1pm and it was loud cos of people chatting
<Camille> so one of the guys there shouted out "now I know how those marines feel when I hit them with a zerg rush"
<+ericc> hahaha awesome
<Camille> the manager heard him and frowned, I thought he was gonna yell at him for talking like that in front of customers
<Camille> and he just replied "man the bunkers and bring out the siege tanks!"
#32685
<ranicx> nooooooooooooo
<ranicx> yesssssss
<ranicx> ok keyboard still works
#24566
<Shock[JR]breakfast> basically i went to a kegger and drank 4000 kegs and got sloshed then i temporarily left the establishment and then i saw a schoolbus parked outside so i was like FUCK THIS IS TEAM FORTRESS REAL LIFE I AM AN ENGINEER -e- REPRESENT FUCK then i started taking off the bumper / mirrors / stop sign then i got arrested and they took my shoes / shirt and threw me in jail
<Shock[JR]breakfast> all i could do, while i was sitting in the cop car, was make fun of the laptop
#14944
<erkdrvn666> I will one day overthrow Microsoft, I am a better programmer than that faggot bill gates...
<shadowylight> really... THATS COOL...
<erkdrvn666> Hold on a sec, someones at door
<shadowylight> wutever
::: .signoff@8.53p> erkdrvn66(miyagi@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca);
<shadowylight> erik?!
<shadowylight> brb kalling erik
<weezelpunk> sure thing buddy
<shadowylight> weird his phone is disconnected......
#25265
<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you burn.
#5396
<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college students fail so much
#14524
<Taze> "LEGOLAS PANTS AS HE FILLS YOUR SHAKING LOVE TUNNEL WITH HIS LONG ELVEN ROD"
* Scibert blinks.
<Scibert> "Love tunnel?"
<arenotelicon> yes Sci.
<arenotelicon> this is why porn stories scare me.
<Scibert> Since when did the human body turn into an amusement park ride?
<arenotelicon> we're not sure.
<arenotelicon> sometime after porn was invented.
#15457
<na-dragon> Who would win in a fight? A Z-Fighter from dragon ball z, or a jedi master?
<jonblake> Well, thats a good question, there are alot of things that need to be factored in
<jonblake> Z fighters can fly, shoot big balls of energy, go really fast, and releport etc
<na-dragon> Yes but a jedi master can see all of that happen before he does it, and he has a light saber..
<jonblake> I guess this is one of those things in life we will never really know
<Vyse> GOD DAMNIT, Has either one of you ever even SEEN what a pussy looks like?
#301979
<RobTitan> The Chile earthquake was magnitude 8.8 which I think also makes a pretty good emoticon for "I'm in an earthquake."
#15176
[Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute of an erection
#52830
ryeenae: what's up with Vossoughi's wierd accent?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iranian
ryeenae: so, where is she from? Irania?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iran, dipshit
#28937
<Kitsa> there used to be one doc who would put apple juice in a urine collection cup
<Kitsa> and walk into the patient room
<Kitsa> take a big swig
<Kitsa> and say "tastes fine to me"
<Kitsa> I always wanted to secretly switch it out with real urine
<Kitsa> the spit-take on that one would be great
#308431
<+beefCake> hmm has someone got stuck down a drain :d
<+beefCake> there's been a confined space safety and rescue unit van outside for a bit
<+beefCake> some sort of tripod on the pavement further up
< Cheez> go out and say "what's that? timmy's fallen down the well?!"
< Cheez> then run back inside barking
< Phatteh> run over and say "i came as soon as lassie told me what happened!"
Comment: #multiplay@qnet
#2802
<[_pitch_]> florida is shaped like a big droopy dick for a reason...
#685
<[SkiTzO]> i think the dump i just took was alive.
#24238
'mouth: Channel Spike Lee and shit'll really hit the fan.
Mach5: Okay, in this scene, you're approached by a crackhead who's offering you a blowjob in exchange for money to buy a cheeseburger.
Mach5: And, action.
'mouth: I immediately run and go home to comfort my inner turmoil with a crack pipe.
Mach5: Cut. You're hopeless.
'mouth: Up yours. I'm an artist.
Mach5: Wait, I'll channel Paul Verhoeven.
Mach5: In this scene, you're approached by a crackhead, who is subsequently beatdown by a threesome of busty, lusty bisexuals, who proceed to offer you a blowjob in exchange for a cheeseburger.
'mouth: Are we digging for bash material or cybering at this point?
Mach5: I've lost track. A/S/L?
#297744
<nutkase> i need to schedule an eye exam
<nutkase> with a different doctor who wont cuss me out and tell me i need ritalin
<hateful> lol, did you jump when he was putting in the drops?
<nutkase> no
<nutkase> but when he was asking me which one was better number 1 or number 2 i was like how come there numbered and i only get 2 options
<nutkase> and then he was telling me to read the lines, and he had the radio on in the background and i was asking him to turn it up cause i liked that song
<nutkase> finally he said god damn it can you pay attention so we can get this over with and i responded with sorry i wasnt paying attention
<hateful> lol
<nutkase> and he proceeded to tell me i needed ritalin
#95752
<mongrethod> the highschool journalism website i run gets 50k hits monthly
<mongrethod> and I was really happy about that
<mongrethod> until I looked at our search keyphrase hits
<mongrethod> top category that wasn't "other"
<mongrethod> "Paly Boy"
<mongrethod> My school is named paly
<mongrethod> so I was thinking
<mongrethod> hmm thats odd
<mongrethod> then it hit me
<mongrethod> rearrange the a and the l
<mongrethod> I haven't had the heart to tell my staff
#6549
* Lemieux doesnt do the menage-a-trois thing
<Lemieux> at least... not if there's 2 women involved
<skidd> so you're a multiple input woman?
* Lemieux is not a porn star
<JayByrd> you don't have to be a porn star
<JayByrd> dirties across the land are getting it at both ends, as we speak
#25601
<^Tony_Soprano^> TommyT, we all knw that all girls on mirc are guys, all guys are guys, and little boys are FBI agents
#283
<GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
<GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big Dicks
<GreenJelly> IM SO IN
#56224
<mtrisk> damnit
<mtrisk> it was the wrong hole
<mtrisk> but it's still only half fixed
<mtrisk> wtf
<mtrisk> it only works when im touching it
<tpfusion> ...
<mtrisk> my _headphones_ damnit!