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#27932
<Razor_EQ> god damn I just embarresed myself with a girtl I lik
<Razor_EQ> like
<Razor_EQ> look at this shit
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: im glad i didnt ask for one now
<Razor_EQ> dazed_n_confused_1983: i have cokes and dr peppers tea
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: cool dr pepper
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: but I dont drink cocks anymore
#308362
<Pryoidain> Finally developed a working method for discovering if it's going to be a good day or a bad day.
<asaph> Do tell?
<Pryoidain> So I sleep RIGHT NEXT to my phone. Like it's two inches from my face if shit blows up at 3AM because waking me requires an atomic attack.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, first thing I do every morning, even before glasses, is grab it, hit the screen button, and see if there are any alerts.
<asaph> right.
<Pryoidain> My background now has 2+2=? on it. If at any point between the first pressing of the screen button and managing to reach the pot of coffee i think "22" then I immediately go the fuck back to bed.
#299049
<Xagor> mexico legalized drugs for personal use
<Xagor> time for them to be on the receiving end of illegal immigration =P
#56032
<Ian> is it weird for a 15 year old girl to have homemade porn of her boyfriend cumming on her laptop
<daniel> Probably
<daniel> I mean. I guess there could be a laptop fetish out there.
<daniel> oh
<daniel> wait
<heather> :)
<daniel> I completely parsed that wrong
<Ian> yeah the porn is on her laptop
<heather> I was gonna say, why would you do that to a laptop
<daniel> I know, but that's how I read it
<daniel> and I was thinking "Well, I guess someone out there jerks off on laptops"
<Unosuke> laptops are warm >>;
* Unosuke gets a point for makeing everyone feel uncomfortable
<zmeiat_joro> soooo...
<zmeiat_joro> the guy doesn't really cum on her laptop?
<Unosuke> poor laptop
Comment: #qc
#27286
(@Moondo) music question..was it simon or art garfunkle that released a son about their son in the last ear?
(@Spacebarbob) that's one sick combination of typos...
#65016
<DogTheBootyHunter> dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitsonofabitch
<DogTheBootyHunter> I just missed the season finales of two of my shows...
<DogTheBootyHunter> lost track of time
<muttonduck> i watched northern exposure religiously, never missed an episode, even when joel left the series. i was watching the FINAL episode with five mins to go when my 3 yr old daughter fellover in the hallway and banged her head. By the time I got back to the TV the show was finished.
<muttonduck> Now my son is my favourite child.
#305263
<Metafoxi> basically little things like "smoke bong in this town" "give beggar 1 bullet"
<Metafoxi> that last one had me puzzled
<Metafoxi> until i figured out you had to literally give him a bullet, not shoot him with it
#5971
<Pseudonym> I got my mom addicted to GTA3 by accident ><
#39804
* plugged sets topic in #php to 'why do programmers confuse christmas and halloween? because oct 31 = dec 25'
Comment: Efnet #php
#33944
[Marc^]: hahahahaha
[Marc^]: been moaning that i dont have a desk and have to type on my lap
[Marc^]: got a massive desk this morning
[Marc^]: and just realised
[Marc^]: i'm sitting here with the keyboard on my lap :/
Comment: #tekheads
#391
<Zer0sKewl> Haha, I just nuked someone for my first time, Am I elite now?
#31273
Heywire22: OMG CLOSE YOUR PANTS IF YOUR GONNA DO THAT ON WEBCAM
Heywire22: Fuck
Heywire22: Wrong fucking window
Heywire22: Shit shit shit
Frusciante 36: jesus
Frusciante 36: who you talking to?!
#1224
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> from age 0-4 was like, playskool toys
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 5-13 was nintendo and sega
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 14-present IRC
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> that was my life in a nutshell
<LkAway1> * blazemore is now known as SonGohanX
#24122
<whitcomb> hello alistair
<TAKid75> Explain this Alistair thing to me.
<whitcomb> i called you alistair
<whitcomb> the end.
#127287
wateronsand: ls
wateronsand: oops, you're not an ssh terminal :)
nichiyume: someday
#55138
<MadeInAustralia> 95% of emos are homosexual
<Pen_Pen> And the rest are female.
#18806
churchonmondays: whatcha up to?
MissMandieMay: not much
MissMandieMay: talking
MissMandieMay: with da peps
churchonmondays: don't you mean peeps?
MissMandieMay: no
MissMandieMay: people is spelled with one e
churchonmondays: OMG take that back before i call you a dumbass
#306475
[about Stony Brook "SB Guardian"]
<tonyb> "With this feature users can set a time that coincides with the time they expect to travel from one location on campus to another. If the caller arrives safely and deactivates their timer, the University Police Department will never receive notification that a timer was ever set. " ahahaha
[...]
<fahadsadah> What happens when your phone battery runs out?
<tonyb> Well, the police come of course
<nathan> and arrest you for battery?
#33818
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
#48300
<tumnus> i just set my clock the easiest way ever
<tumnus> i waited until it was midnight then i plugged it in and left it
#6134
<lsd> my win2k box is being a bitch
<HrdwrBoB> that's the default setting
<HrdwrBoB> you have to edit the registry
#35377
<Freefall> http://www.strategypage.com/dls/articles/2004418.asp <-- the definition of oxymoron. Replacing the engines on NUCLEAR missle in order to make them more 'environmently friendly'.
#20230
<kingmob> i wonder how bad the irritating dork contingent at the matrix is gonna be
<kingmob> and i wonder to what extent i am one
<kingmob> i suppose the best i can hope for is no sysadmins dressed as trinity
#30135
*** Cushla (cushla@Cushla.users.undernet.org) Quit (Quit: Trent Reznor is GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
<Cpt_Giz> hmmm
<Cpt_Giz> she spelt my name wrong again
#25452
<Richie> What fanbois don't realise is that when they speak japanese they sound like the 12 year old girl they learnt it from