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#300986
<@luke-jr_> what is the world coming to? Debian stable has a newer version of Perl than Gentoo testing.
#62079
<relsqui> my cat just lay down with her chin on my wrist. that's very very fuzzy.
* nova20 applauds relsqui for her perfect conjugation of the verb "to lie"
* nova20 gives relsqui a commondation on behalf of the Chief of the Grammar Police
...
<relsqui> and I just noticed you misspelled "commendation," which is hilarious only because of the context.
<nova20> well, it's the Grammar police, not the spelling polise.
<nova20> oh man
* nova20 facepalms
<nova20> that's "police"
#8775
<GC> i bought new disposable razors
<GC> they have two blades each
<GC> i am astounded
<xen`> my mach 3 has 3 blades
<GC> and it costs more
<xen`> meh, it works good
<xen`> i can shave my asshair and my face and not have to go through 5 razors
#31996
<Sean> What some people don't seem to realize is that not everybody spends every waking moment surfing the world wide web. Some of us read email before going out and checking out favorite web pages, web comics included.
<Sean> Some of these same people may have email readers that can read upwards of 100 lines at a time, so blocktext spoiler warnings are not always effective.
<Jacob> Dude, if you can display 100 lines at a time in your email client... you're probably a geek who spends every waking moment surfing the World Wide Web.
#1975
<c-rock> Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock n roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.
#33289
<WorkDug> OMG
<WorkDug> mcdonald's is phasing out supersize phrise!!
<WorkDug> jesus .. did i really just type "phrise"?
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#14249
<andjusticeforall> I've figured it out. If you ever get mugged by someone, just say, "Take it easy man, all I got is a $16 bill", then knee him in the nuts when he tries to figure out what the fuck you just said.
#296944
(FormerlyHumane) then answer me this: why is the acid in Alien so much stronger than Aliens?
(Squint) Dilution
(FormerlyHumane) also the size of the planet changes
(Squint) With more aliens, the acid had to be watered down to fill all of their bodies.
(FormerlyHumane) makes sense
(Squint) But in the first movie, there was only the one, so the acid was more concentrated.
(FormerlyHumane) but how did the planet get bigger?
(Squint) Zoom, man. Zoom.
(FormerlyHumane) I don't know if I buy that
(Squint) You know how when you look through binoculars, small things look bigger?
(FormerlyHumane) I guess so
(Squint) Boom.
(Squint) I'm going to bed.
#61230
scanty@SPARC: wtf am i bleeding for, i totally did not cut myself todayt
mmadia: scanty@SPARC , i'm surprised your parents never told you this ....
#68734
<Stux> my girlfriend sent me a video
<Stux> it was of me
<Stux> wearing her skirt, top and a bra with padding
<Stux> and...until it panned up, i looked like a girl :(
<Rjx> email it ;x
<Stux> wap doesnt work
<Rjx> you know what else doesn't work?
<Rjx> your masculinity
#75576
<@ALGORYTHM> make your own wikipedia entry then you too can be right
#3352
<dr\gonzo> i'd rather cut off my own penis than run linux
<dr\gonzo> running linux screams I fuck ugly chicks
#17977
<MixieArmadillo> hahaha
<Mnementh4> if you tell me, I will have to commit sepuku
<MixieArmadillo> is that anything like oragami?
<Mnementh4> more messy, but the concept is basically the same
#6949
<dh> man irc is a waste of time...i should go play quake or something...
#306924
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide?
#29475
* Clef is watching The Mask with Jim Carrey
<Gothic> :O
<Gothic> Jim Carrey's at your house!?
#304406
<atari2600a> anyone else ever stare at that last supper painting
<atari2600a> & think to themselves what jesus was thinking
* atari2600a are now known as jesus
* jesus looks to the left, right
<jesus> you know there's FOUR SIDES to this table right?
<nwongfeiying> What?
<nwongfeiying> Lies.
<jesus> we all don't have to be scrunched together like this
<jesus> Judas what the fuck are you doing
<jesus> pass the rolls you asshole
<jesus> GOD DAMNIT the sun's burning the back of my fucking head!
<Armandtanzarian> i think the dinner is the least of your concerns
<Armandtanzarian> there are idiots in texas burning abortion clinics
<jesus> brb, Romans
#300820
Dave: what's the site
Dave: that if someone asks about something
Dave: it types in the subject into google for you
Dave: showing you how to do it
... Time passes ...
Dave: who would have ever thought that it's called
Dave: let me google that for you
#7745
<miche> I can juggle 2 balls at once! :)
#361
<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac
#53028
<fr_gment> better !pout !cry
<fr_gment> better watchout
<fr_gment> lpr why
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole >town
<fr_gment> cat /etc/passwd >list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<fr_gment> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole > town
<fr_gment> who | grep sleeping
<fr_gment> who | grep awake
<fr_gment> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<fr_gment> for (goodness sake) {
<fr_gment> be good
<fr_gment> }
#19206
<@Corosion> smartass =P
<BBtB> Yes... yes it is
<BBtB> The penis is none to dumb either
<BBtB> in fact all my body parts would be catorgized as "above average" or better
#111110
<wishes-> i always worry when my banks captcha has 4 letters/digits
<wishes-> and they're 'pray'
#10862
<Danelope> This contract doesn't involve sodomy, does it?
<harb> actually
<harb> damnit
#7264
<Tigrrr> I cook food in my oven.
<Tigrrr> i like food.
<edoc> I gas puppies in mine
<Tigrrr> mmmmmm puppies