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#50774
<@philb> I have a new task at work, I have to improve traffic to the website by not changing anything or advertising
<@philb> I've decided to use chanting
<@philb> I'll tail -f the logs of the webservers on a giant projector screen in an abandoned church
<@philb> and chant a lot.
#532
<kisama> i've spent my last 5 new year's on either irc or aol
#300152
<Oddlot> Also FuzzyPlushroom: Another good day at driving.
<Oddlot> We hunted down my instructors ex
#17828
<standby> i'm moving to my own office tomorrow
<standby> i feel so cool
<standby> i'll be able to mastrubate while i work
<standby> well i allready do but it will be easier
#63281
<+syc> a lady having problems burning dvd's
<infralite> infra`: die
<+syc> in her cd-rw
<+syc> she said she keeps putting them in, and it keeps asking for more
<stutter_> syc: do you do support for non-clients of yours?
<+Two9A> huhu
<+syc> i guess nero says 'please insert a disc with enough space blah blah blah'
<+syc> so she she kept putting one after another into the drive
<+syc> until the door wouldn't open anymore
#47
* EtherMan slashes MadHatter with the jagged edge of a PS2 polygon
#140944
<Dav Lister> Zedo, a half blind five year old african orphan,has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only 1 leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.
<Arctanis> Thats sad Dav
<Dav Lister> give a small donation of two pounds and we'll send you the video. it's fucking hilarious
#10890
<gldnmean> I always thought "The sound of one hand clapping" would be good zen masturbation slang
#29879
<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh
#16188
<wof> does anyone really use emacs?
<Pills> my wife used to
<wof> really?
<wof> what'd she do?
<Pills> she... edited files? :)
#16652
<DmDragon> all my cars are haunted
<DmDragon> i had one car where the glove compartment would keep opening at random times
<DmDragon> so it opened once and i just finally said "fuck you stay open" well the car stalled out the radio turned on and off and the flashlights started flashing while the windshield wipers started
<DmDragon> so i slowly reached over and closed it.. then the car just went back to normal
#55899
<fLy> hahaha
<fLy> <fLy> dw ive been crying mysql to sleep over this for some time :p
<fLy> I just wrote mysql
<fLy> instead of mysql
<fLy> fuck
<fLy> myself
<fLy> this is getting sad
#11620
<Astroboy> Im going to murder the next girl I ever hear make some comment about being over weight.
<Astroboy> Unless the girl is like 500 pounds.
<Trinity> I am so over weight.
<Astroboy> Trinity way to be a absurdly difficult distance away for me to murder you.
#17900
<Shadowline> kinda quite in here lately ? What seems to be the problem ?
<PovRayMan> fap fap fap
#302359
<st0rmb0x> I had an ass cannon moment
<Ka1enov> LOL
<st0rmb0x> You know when you're on the shitter and you just fart but you don't realise you shat 12 feet of shit in half a second
<Ka1enov> yeah man
<Ka1enov> and then when you wipe
<Ka1enov> theres nothing
<Ka1enov> youre are like what the fuck
<st0rmb0x> lol, yeah man, these things are deadly, what if you were to shit down a balcony, i bet you'd be able to break car windshields
<st0rmb0x> Or snipe someone with a turd
<Ka1enov> and walk away with no evidence
<st0rmb0x> The police are like, what the fuck, there's shit everywhere and that guy has a hole in the head
<Ka1enov> and your ass is clean!
#4644
<Byn> What's the difference between cows and the guys on this floor?
<Byn> The cows don't jack off in our showers.
#36920
(Nick): Remember that one time, when Razer put his name as `, and I didn't know it was him? lol
(Razer): Nick
(Razer): That was yesterday..
(Syntax[Sleep]{BTW_usuq}): Hahahaha
(Nick): ummm..
(Nick): <_<
(Nick): >_>
(Deranged): Stop smoking crack
#9575
<Parc[Cleaning]> I'm starting to worry about my memory :-(
<Parc[Cleaning]> I was walking along, and it struck me that I had to go to the bathroom. So I went to the place, unzipped my pants, and then realized I was standing in front of the trashcan o_O
#7630
<XxChesterxX> who here uses a dildough
<Solidus> only when i'm making some dilbread
#32918
<splice> i think its funny that it takes more syllables to say "hello" in japanese than to describe female fart porn
#13386
<J-Zilla> ma$e became a preacher
<DarkSerge> wtf does he preach
<d> you idiot ds
<d> "I'M A PLUMBER"
<d> ds: "WHAT DO U PLUMB?"
#68026
Error_404: heh, everyone in this building except me is so nice
Error_404: their wifi BSSID's are all like... "dad's computer" or "smith family" or the default names
Error_404: and then mine's FUCKYOUDONTTOUCHMYSHIT
#9209
<Disco`Stu> fat girls need loving too
<kodos> someone has to take one for the team
<kodos> i vote its luke
<lukeiyo-e> damn you fuckers
<lukeiyo-e> alright.. someone pass me a torch
#33713
<+x24[java]> damnit. i just cheesed my fresh from the drier pants
<@BalefireX> cheesed?
<+x24[java]> a macaroni escaped from the fork and left it's mark with cheese on my pants
<@BalefireX> ah
<@BalefireX> just checking it wasnt slang for defecation
Comment: #gideontech
#223678
<CtrlAltDestroy> 'Sup CMK
<@CMK> ^ That direction.
<@CMK> <_<
<CtrlAltDestroy> Not if I turn my monitor
<CtrlAltDestroy> LIKE THIS!!!