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#8236
<Reaver_Reload> theres over 500 retards at my college
<Reaver_Reload> its like david vs goliath, except golaith is a retard
<Folken> So you kill retards with rocks?
<Reaver_Reload> Yes.
<Reaver_Reload> Yes we do.
#53253
<Hoolibear:> What woman do you know that can shake her tits, ass, and cock at you all at once?
#2940
<T_hibiki_> you catch your lady in bed with another man what do you do ?
<sparatik> tell him she has an STD
#9478
<Gothmog> bastard, foiled by my own stupidity
<Gothmog> again
#42758
< jnc> use someone else's underwear
< jnc> i mean
< jnc> bandwidth
Comment: #freematrix on irc.freenode.net
#81484
<Trinexx> I've come to the conclusion that my spare computer sucks ass.
<Trinexx> I tried to install Xubuntu on it, and it gave me an OOM error.
<Panoz> xubuntu?
<|BAD| hack attack> wtf is a OOM error?
<Trinexx> oh right, I forgot that you're all idiots. Nevermind.
#1575
<CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under the misdirection that i care
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the misdirection that you care.
<CoN> oh thanks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
<CoN> ... thats weird
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
*** CoN has quit IRC
#3556
<IceHeartX> we had geekporn.com like, years ago
<IceHeartX> we gave it up 'cause we didn't actually have any hot geeks
#32754
* Quits: t0t0 (Quit: Sometimes I dream about being caried off by a big giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?)
Comment: Yes, it does
#19390
<Mysterious> hmmmm
<Mysterious> midnight
* Mysterious turns into a pumpkin :\
#12027
<Dreadnaut> i used to write poems about suicide and shit
<KrON> i did poems about cheese and stuff
#62175
<evilAdmin> omg... PDF rules.
<evilAdmin> since everyone figured out the whole blacked out text thing (which is perfectly recoverable)...
<evilAdmin> all of the office is busy putting in hidden quotes and messages at the end of work documents as thick black lines, including upper management and admin (even the CEO is busy quoting 'Gates).
<evilAdmin> Then, coworkers play with the new hires- claiming you can only read it once you print it off. Most of them fall for it, I even saw one guy saying it was a "Magic Eye" sort of thing where the black stripe dissapears and the letters pop out.
<evilAdmin> much to my dismay, his buddy was sitting there cross-eyed with the paper 8cm away from his face.
<evilAdmin> >:)
#69682
<nobd> i was just playing hide and go seek with my fish
<nobd> he won
<rolib> You? Outsmarted by a fish? I couldn't imagine.
#10957
<Kateryne> brb
<Kateryne> back
<Malcavious> front
<Kateryne> side
<Malcavious> middle
<Malcavious> other side =P
<Zarakinthish> bottom
<Zarakinthish> top
<Malcavious> no i wanna be on top
<Zarakinthish> Of who exactly?
<Kateryne> ....dude....
<Kateryne> ew.
#6139
Clayton: man, i am so tired..but my bed is full of dog puke.
#17874
insectouch: oh, i hought the whole cancer thing was just something you made up so you didnt have to go out with me tonight
#11304
<IsoFlash> i dumped my girlfriend because she is fucking dumb
<AciDBatH> woah sweet
<AciDBatH> i dumped mine cuz she had a penis
#17939
<Neo_Rockman> ummm... if it's friday the 7th, does this mean that in 7 more days it will be friday the 13th?
<Neo_Rockman> wait..
#34871
* MoTT sets mode: +v system
<+system> whats up with my leet + thingy
<@MoTT> people with +v are marked for sacrifice
<+system> :(
<+system> shat
#116110
<ednos> root, help!
<ednos> the only language available is British English!
<root> ?
<ednos> I don't speak that!
<root> lol
<root> you'll survive
<root> it doesn't prevent you typing your posts in american
<ednos> I won't know which button submits
<ednos> is it "prevaricate about the bush" or "spot o' milk"?
Comment: #taskforceranger on irc.gamesurge.net
#301051
<Corey> Why is everyone in It's a Wonderful Life so stupid?
<Corey> Main character: Oh, I lost some money, got angry at my family and got hit by a guy. I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
<Corey> Clarence: I can show you how life was if you never existed.
<Corey> Main character: Why does nobody recognize me?!
<Corey> Clarence: Because in this reality, you don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: My wife and mother don't know me!
<Corey> Clarence: You.... don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: Why's the town have a different name?!
<Corey> Clarence: YOU. DON'T. EXIST.
<Corey> Main character: Where did my kids go?!
<Corey> Clarence: Fuck it, jump off the bridge, I don't care.
#1379
<studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
<studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
<studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century
#1385
(chronic1) i wouldn't like a virgin....i think they deserve a professional fuck the first time so they are not dissappointed....i could go down...but i am not the best fuck
...
(chronic1) if masterbation made you good, i'd be the best
#319
<Garr|ncha> metallica is a terrible mix of heavy metal and country
#8102
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)