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#281474
<Loser> what will happen when I tell my parents I'm bi>
<GaidinBDJ> You mother looks at your father and says "You owe me $100"
Comment: #fark
#16977
<Uzzie> i'm sueing herbal essences
<Uzzie> i didn't get orgasms
#2805
<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to borrow a dvd. She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of Baron Munchausen." She goes "I just saw goonies. Which is better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?" "Yes." *hands her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line
#3998
<Donitz> Do you like waffles?! Do you like Nazi propaganda?! Then do we have the restaraunt for you!
#8605
<Primal[Djedi]> rent: am i in rnd1...my wife wants to know NOW
<tiepilot> I told you Primal, you should fuck the wife inbetween rounds
#138
<BlackDeth> ITS SLOW AS A 30 FOOT SHIT COMING OUT OF AN ANT''S ASSHOLE
#10725
urban13eatnik : I wonder. is there a feeling when you see a woman in porno and you're sure that she's someone you know?
BeHeMoTh101 : yes
urban13eatnik : what is it?
BeHeMoTh101 : it's called IKNOWDATBITCH
#30408
<Elfer> uh oh
<Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
<Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on
#10660
<MEEPY> COULD SOMEBODY HELP ME!? I WANT TO PLAY DOOM2 OVER NETSCAPE, BUT CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. I LOAD THE IDSOFTWARE SITE IN NETSCAPE , THEN START DOOM2 AND JOIN A MAP BUT I NEVER SEE ANY PLAYERS? IS IT JUST THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE MONSTERS? IF THAT'S THE CASE, I THINK I'M REALLY GOOD!!
#300986
<@luke-jr_> what is the world coming to? Debian stable has a newer version of Perl than Gentoo testing.
#310864
<Raven> Is it still Passover?
<Kyol> Is Jesus still dead?
<Morwen> No Kyol, thats what Easter was all about.
<Kyol> Ah. So let me see. He gets nailed to a tree on Good Friday, spends a few days in a cave, comes out on Easter.. Then what?
<hockwork> if he sees his shadow, its another 6 weeks of winter
#8101
<Paeyl> why did i just have a sudden image of a penis with tentacles at the tip
<alayna> cthulhuitis
<Paeyl> is there an antibiotic for that?
<Paeyl> "doc, i have a problem." "what?" "it's my.. penis.. it .. " "yes?" "it can.. write its own name."
<geo> That's not a problem, son...that's a potential career.
#20560
Mr Markus White: So what are you doing online, criminal.
FerrusSoldad: Pirating mp3s.
Mr Markus White: One of those Napster frauds huh
FerrusSoldad: IRC.
Mr Markus White: Isn't that a hacker program
#12041
<tarmac> HWO THE RUCK DO I GET THE STUPID ASS FUCKIN PAPER CLIP
<tarmac> TO GO AWAY
#29260
<Livewireo> AOL owns winamp?
<jestuh> yeah few years back they sold out
<Livewireo> ;[
<Livewireo> i feel so dirty...using AIM, using Winamp...oh, and having an AOL account
#27188
<kaYcee> my ass hurts from this chair..i needa get a new chair
<airliner> you put chairs in ya ass?
#57267
<evilAdmin> Oy! Maybe my job does rock.
<evilAdmin> Da Fluke network tester (a $6000 Gameboy wannabe) was broken today since someone took the lithium batteries out of it and neglected to put them back in the case.
<evilAdmin> We had to test out the connection between floors 2&4, going through floor 3 in the process.
<evilAdmin> so I tell da b0ss that the Network tester is dead... And I need to generate network traffic so I can see the stats on the switches and routers, make sure no packets are being killed prematurely.
<evilAdmin> So he sayz "How much is that tester worth?", I say "6K". He says "Great!".
<evilAdmin> he picks up his office phone, hits the global annoucement button, and says "Floors Two, Three, and Four, our IT Admin requires that you generate network traffic for equipment testing. Grab Half Life off my network share, I'll host". He hangs up and says "Happy?", I say "that works".
<evilAdmin> The rest of the afternoon was dedicated to a rather large Half Life MP game on Crossfire :).
#1350
<Sharkey> Man, I'm getting flashbacks from Renegade. Apparently when I was a kid I was so bored I made up little songs to go with the damned music and now it's all coming back to me.
<Sharkey> Nothing remarkable, though. Mostly just little ditties about killing myself.
#32449
<oz> jesus christ... the guy who built my computer from scratch is a fugitive and is wanted in ohio...
<oz> and he gets sent to the county jail the day before my 9600xt craps out on me :|
#38325
<Jase> hey, its cal ripkin with the osbornes! LOLOLOLOL
<El-Grande> what exactly does that acronym stand for, jase
<Maurs> that's somebody laughing out loud in a cave
#45450
<Ahanix> You know what girls love?
<Ahanix> (your cock is not an answer)
<EmoAddict15> small penis?
<EmoAddict15> lol
<Ahanix> i said your cock is not an answer!
Comment: iexbeta
#294923
Anemia says: *sigh* as soon as I changed my status on facebook back to single... all the ads changed into "dating site" or "how to get back together with your ex" >:(
#1784
<D1> on call for help, they ask this guy for the type of modem he has, so he tries to be a bigshot and says, "YEAH, I HAVE AN INDUSTRY STANDARD ARCHITECHTURE MODEM, I THINK IT'S PCI."
#102
<Moot> wanna hizack AOL?
<Chrix> i already did, i made it a horrible isp
#16293
<Calrathan> omg, the despair is making me use gotos!
<Calrathan> goto cliff
<Calrathan> :cliff
<Calrathan> jmp 0xFFFFFFFF