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#17901
<StalkerofurSoul> I only sexually harass midgets
<Bartolimis> I only sexually harrass hot chicks
<Spazz> I only sexually harrass the elderly.
#40269
E/a: thanks for getting back to me sara
E/a: *tip hat*
sara: hahahah hats are so pre-internet
#3500
<bdi> if you lookin' for sympathy, you better look between R and T in the fucking dictionary
#367
<brojek> The A-Team? it goes like this: they have a "job", get into trouble, get cornered, in that corner they build a tank and then escape :)
<toitle> the best bit was when they made the tank out of left overs from a broken vacuum cleaner
#2681
*** CSGpunk (CSGpunk@dialup-67.25.73.97.Dial1.Raleigh1.Level3.net) has joined #winprog
<CSGpunk> anyone live in raleigh, nc and know where i can get drugs
#9928
<SlemJack> diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
#5701
<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it?
#18140
<heffster> next thing on my to do list is to lose my virginity
<heffster> i'll probably have to fork out money for that too
#56663
<@cristipengraffe> Exchange we just had:
<@cristipengraffe> Cristi: "I am at the mercy of my cookie whims"
<@cristipengraffe> Jeph: "Well, I am at the mercy of my occasional booze whims"
<@cristipengraffe> Cristi: "Well, my whims do not effect my liver function"
<@cristipengraffe> Jeph: "Well, MY whims don't effect the size of my butt"
<@cristipengraffe> Cristi and Jeph: "Touche"
Comment: #qc
#4356
<teu> I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal
#20182
<+timovgod> I had a penis transplant but my hand rejected it
#1097
[D1] You know, I started the slammer routine.
[D1] when everyone was playing for pogs
[D1] I put down my slammer
[D1] and it started a huge trend
[D1] then EVERYONE played for slammers
[Guilty] You put it on the pile?
[D1] yeah
[Guilty] Thats just stupid
[D1] I was a high roller.
(McMoo) are you guys discussing pog tactics?
[D1] yes
#8713
<arioch> Mario 69: Toadstool Gets Reamed
<fraggle> i'd love to give the princess a good bonin'
<aur__> sorry fraggle, but the princess is in another castle
#50352
* Nivasi won't discuss her heydays of the funky mushrooms (not even from 30 yrs ago its sacred thing
<miyako> yeah, I got into mushrooms for a while
<miyako> someone gets you to try a portabella, then you think "maybe a morel" next thing you know your letting bums on the street do blow out of your ass crack to get a fix for your shitakes
#310368
<hep> would anyone like to sign up for our trolling ghostwriting service?
<hep> for the busy professional who still wants to troll
<hep> you just give us your nick
<hep> and we troll as you
#38342
<n3ur0tich> he called me at 2 in the morning. i thought he was calling to see if i was okay. how strangly considerate, i thought. how nice.
<n3ur0tich> he called to ask if i stole his cheese. five pounds of cheese. yes, i sighed, i stole five pounds of cheese from your apartment. right. because i really needed five fucking pounds of cheese. oh, and i'm fine, thanks.
<n3ur0tich> he called again at 3.
<n3ur0tich> "are you sure you didn't take the cheese?"
#311061
<KateLibby> and no, im not iliterate, my parents were married
#1655
<JD> I, or one of my teammates, shall cause you to become electroencephalographically challenged.
Mr Brown> ill kill you
<JD> No, I like the way I say it better
#122388
<X-Istence> Oh that was just epic. I two girls one cupped my entire family
<lordoden> lmfao
<lordoden> oh god
<lordoden> thats horrible
<X-Istence> The TV is run over DSL right
<ALT_HACK> wow
<X-Istence> so whenever the TV is on (DVR type system, TVoIP)
<X-Istence> the download speeds drop to practically 0
<X-Istence> So I intercepted teh packets, and ran an MPEG 4 stream of 2 girls 1 cup to the DVR
Comment: #nerdgy irc.freenode.net
#3360
<kolby> i dont think the number of times ive jacked off to britney spears can be calculated
<kolby> it never gets old
<kolby> i think that's what love is
#145685
lbreeves2: its official
lbreeves2: I have spent far too much time on the internets
lbreeves2: I was just typing my paper and was trying to type "Jewish laws"
lbreeves2: It came out "Jewish Lawls"
lbreeves2: so I backspaced it... and typed the same fucking thing again
#32663
<HiddenGenius83> wtf!?
<HiddenGenius83> have you ever seen a midget smile?
<HiddenGenius83> it looks like they're snarling
<HiddenGenius83> I swear to God
<StorDuff> you're watching that show on fox arent you
<HiddenGenius83> I turned the TV on, and BOOM! A midget smiling! Like fucking goatse for TV
#56801
<LabMonkey> damnit
<LabMonkey> there went my afternoon
<LabMonkey> THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE, KARMA
<KArmA> its what I do
<KArmA> try and be a better person
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#16771
{ExDeath} If I had a baby like Shiv, I'd shove it back in and put stitches in my wife's vagina ;(
#37282
<Dest> tate: If useless facts got you women, I'd be beating them off with shotguns
<Fenris> instead of beating himself off with a mitten