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#29305
<ath> you're too BITTAR
<X-Ultron> haha
<X-Ultron> tell that to all the nutcases that i encounter on the streets of harrisburg
<X-Ultron> the other day, i was out getting lunch
<X-Ultron> and i saw a black impala ss
<X-Ultron> so i was admiring it
<X-Ultron> and as i turned around
<X-Ultron> this bum walks up to me with his fist extended
<X-Ultron> "yoooo!!! it's been a long time! you can see that I shaved mine off [he was referring to my goatee]"
<X-Ultron> then i'm just standing there with a blank look on my face
<X-Ultron> and this dude does this weird handshake thing
<X-Ultron> then whispers "i'm a fisherman" and walks away
<Supachikn> hahahah
<Supachikn> oh my god
<X-Ultron> first thing i did was check to make sure i still had my wallet and keys :B
Comment: #hydrogenaudio on freenode
#3563
<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
<Slant> ANYTHING
<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.
#30084
<@MiMiC> I am the king of all men
<@MiMiC> I just gave this girl an orgasm on the phone
<@Catgirl[BTEG]> "An" orgasm? Weak.
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet
#12889
<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll".
#2355
<sparkly> so i have to do this project in my class where we have to make up a store and create a logo and shit
<sparkly> and my name of the store is gonna be called "less than three"
<sparkly> and the packaging is gonna have a big <3 on it
#5314
<McMoo> i think i dislocated my esophagus
<josho-> fix it with everclear
#34553
<_Zippo^_> http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page//0,4057,9149147%5E13762,00.html
<_Zippo^_> "She lit it and correctly breathed the smoke in without any adult help," the woman said.
<_Zippo^_> The girl also smokes cigarettes.
<_Zippo^_> :/
<everest> hahaha
<everest> that's so wicked
<everest> it's like some fucked up version of Look Whos Talking
* tharaka (Tharaka@c210-49-185-160.werrb1.vic.optusnet.com.au) has left #geekissues
<_Zippo^_> Look Who's Toking
<everest> HAHA
#52767
anotherpadawan42: I just upgraded my web hosting and now have 408 megs of free space
QreepyBORIS: Ooooh
anotherpadawan42: Dude I nearly jacked off looking at the free space pie graph.
#49727
<Neo> simps....
<Neo> can you setup PHP-Nuke?
<Neo> or post-PHP?
<simps> wtf is PHP
<Neo> ok. that answers that
#44206
[WhipSmart] how has humanity lasted this long..?
[Mordenkainen] because sharks can't walk
Comment: Quakenet #funchat
#2580
<salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL
#2991
<Lord-Data> chmod 777 is the kinda thing i do on my own personal box when i cant be fucked figureing out what the perm's SHOULD be
<Lord-Data> which is, sadly, most of the time
#52838
<Kyle> ah yes, I remember my first time..she was lying on the bed and I was holding my coat and saying out loud "hmm I cant decide whether or not I'm going to do this with my coat on or off.." and shes looking at me like "wtf" and I start putting it on and I continue talking "and right now its looking like..coat"
#20364
<@daleth> so it really did lead to "..." :)
<@lovelace> Yep.
<jbroomeLUG> is that morse code for humping? :)
#310208
<kmc> yes Windows 98 installer, please perform a bad blocks scan of your virtual emulated hard drive
<kmc> you have no idea how completely I control your so-called reality
#2021
<darkaeon> now how much money do you make now?
<darkaeon> I know it can't be much since you're on irc
<darkaeon> eheh
<MadHatter> you fear my fucking lego skills right
<MadHatter> dude dark
<MadHatter> I'm not even on irc
<MadHatter> I programmed some legos to get on irc for me
#20172
<freddieandthestarfish> if homosexuallity is a disease, can i call into work gay??
<mal_s> u homo
#60704
Blackstrat04: i have a headache though, thats pretty cool
dbounce09: that sucks
dbounce09: have some excedrin w/ a beer... that should do it
Blackstrat04: im at work
Blackstrat04: i dont have any excedrin
#30933
<jp-minip[hw]> pm me with romantic christmas gift ideas for ur girlfriend, dont pm me unless u have one ty ;) [/amsg]
<jp-minip[hw]> omg fking fags forget it, goatse.cx cookies are NOT romantic
#31900
<LuminuS> everything you like = gay
<SniperGuy> i like you LuminuS
Comment: irc.mikernet.org
#6889
<_Tenchi_> jwzrd-: are you a pole smoker too ?
<jwzrd-> _Tenchi_: why, you want your pole smoked ?
#8743
<Linguica> heh
<Quasar`> bone thugs called the street they lived on the Double Glock because its East 99th
<Linguica> has anyone noticed that quasar almost never talks about bone thugsFUCK
#27207
* jdat sees some weed grow out of whiskers's ears
<whiskers> mmmm, weed
<whiskers> that'd be leet
<whiskers> but dangerous
<whiskers> people would wait for me in dark alleys to beat me up and shave my ears
#7072
<Staberinde> What I'm wondering is why the ACLU isn't bringing lawsuits against these schools that suspend kids for drawings or writings. I mean if that's not depriving someone of their freedom of speech I don't know what is.
<Joe_> Because the Supreme Court ruled that the constitution doesn't extend to schools.
<Staberinde> That means my old high school can secede from the union then, right?
<Joe_> It could work..
#15071
<cardinal> huh, a friend of mine pissed in his girlfriend's typewriter
<cardinal> under similar circumstances
<alayna> :blink:
<cardinal> drunk, needing to pee, didn't want to turn on the light, found
<cardinal> the "bathroom" door, found the "toilet", opened the lid,
<cardinal> pissed, couldn't find the flusher, went back to bed
<cardinal> discovered the next morning he'd opened the wrong door, and
<cardinal> found the typewriter, not the toilet, which explains the lack
<cardinal> of flush lever
<Deke> and the *ding* when he finished
<cardinal> all I could say when he told me the story was "Good thing it
<cardinal> wasn't a Selectric"