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#5276
<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows
#33834
<pyro> I remember when I was younger this chick wanted me to give her a hickey but i didn't know how.. so i went on google
#311374
<RIDDL3R> Does anyone know which page in the Bible it explains how to turn water into wine?
Comment: #4chan on Dalnet
#50706
<@pixeldust> man i got so much candy tonight
<@ash> awww, pixie still twick oh tweats!
<@pixeldust> stfu
<@pixeldust> what you do for all hallow's eve?
<@ash> scared little kids that came up to my porch.
<@X5-424> went to a costume party at a hotel
<@b0bby-d1g1tal> i shaved my pubes off and painted my sack up like a pumpkin
<@b0bby-d1g1tal> then jumped out of the closet bare assed when my girlfriend got home and said "trick or treat bitch!" and chased her around the apartment with my wang.
<@ash> o_O
<@X5-424> leave it to bobby to kill a conversation dead in its tracks.
Comment: #red-eclipse
#306389
<@Furah> my ex sent a text that was meant to make me think of her, but instead I thought of alcohol
#16431
<Danelope> "Nine people in total have had gene therapy at the Necker Hospital, and seven of them are doing well."
<Danelope> The other two transformed into hideous demon-beasts and began slaying the hospital staff.
<Danelope> And eating their brains.
#11271
<Sandie> http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/celebrity/wesleys-anal-ordeal <- Sci needs to see this
<Sandie> "As Wesley opened his mouth in agony Kor slid the gigantic head of
<Sandie> his Klingon cock into his soft boy-mouth. Wes's scream became a gurgle as
<Sandie> he began nursing the head in compliance with Kor's bellowing order to
<Sandie> please his warrior dick with his pussyboy mouth.
<c_thur> ...
* Tomko slits his wrists and welcomes the sweet red death
#9989
<Bearsy> hehehe... you dont really NEED pants.. they're just a nice to have
<rik0> i only have them for the pockets
#4372
<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis
#46207
<treb> the best girlfriend is always your feminine side, remember that :D
<Gorf|work> am i getting advice from a 14 year old?
<treb> 13, actually
Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
#23871
<@SJr> You know since bash has gone down, I have gotten a girlfriend, started eating right, and started actually trying in school, I have an essay do and I actually started working on it?
<@magtec> sjr, you know bash is back up right?
<@SJr> *sigh* there goes my future...
#51034
DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass
#29223
<zim> I can't look at the words "Windows XP" and not think that Microsoft are sticking their tongue out at us
#32720
<sahal> i hide my porn in .dll files
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#25250
<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas factory."
<Blixt> KEKE LA~ OFFICER!
#6646
<rewben> we are not perverts ;p
<akiron> speak for youself ;)
#13883
<Nall> I'm so confused everytime I come in here. Either stop changing your names, or like, start cybering with me, so I fucking remember you.
#28781
<Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
<Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at the end of the bed
<Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down onto the floor at 3am.
<Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
<Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
<Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it like the Borg of Star Trek do.
<Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".
#37489
<+swedegeek> MrDelayer, how come discussion always moves to centering around mail anatomy when you're around?
<MrDelayer> mail anatomy?
<MrDelayer> like
<MrDelayer> postal workers
<MrDelayer> "Hey baby, nice package"
#5490
<theForger> it's kind of odd how a lot of planets in star trek have spaceships and transporters, and yet they still live in huts and clay houses
#37046
(Deranged): Having my right hand as a girlfriend is the best relationship I've ever had.
(Deranged): It's always up for threesomes, it'll never cheat on me.
(Deranged): And best of all, I don't have to talk to it after sex, because I don't know sign language.
#6396
<Legend> When I think about you, I /ping myself.
#7689
<Phuser> Someone asked me if I knew what time it was today
<Phuser> I said, Yes, but not right now.
#74555
<micksam7> spling isn't back yet
<micksam7> he was suppose to be home today
<micksam7> hm
<micksam7> maybe he needs to be like.. lured or something
<micksam7> like in that pokemon game or whatever. you need to like, put something out to get them to come or something
* micksam7 thinks
* micksam7 ties some toast to a string
* micksam7 sets it on the floor and hides behind a couch 2 feet away
* spling joins #stats
* micksam7 has just caught a spling!