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#56166
<Darien> I love my job
<Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
<Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
<Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
<Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'
#304203
<@JC>Haha this is awesome.
<@JC>Im in sydney airport sitting next to all these really clueless people - i realised (yes i fucking realised how bored i was at
the same time) that new firmware had come out for my modem - so i telnetted in and upgraded it - and while i was at it i noticed my voip dialplan was all wrong too so i fixed that up - basically i was winning command prompt big time.
<@JC>This being an aiport and a "console" looking dodgy as fuck got some girl running to the security guard thinking i am like sending airport infrastructure results back to the KGB or some shit. Basically i was like zero cool to this chick - which is pretty cool.
<@JC>He comes over to me and grabs my shoulder and asks what i was doing i said i was "hacking the gibson"
<@JC>AND THE MOTHERFUCKER CONFISCATED MY GODDAMN LAPTOP - HE HAD TO HAVE AN IT "EXPERT" LOOK AT MY LAPTOP WHICH DELAYED MY FLIGHT UNDER A "SECURITY RISK" i swear to god - they are just getting bored - like all this money
going toward airport security and they bag a dude for telnetting his modem - when that lady next to me was probably smuggling crack inbetween her butt cheeks.
<@JC>So moral of this story - telnetting can sometimes get you nearly arrested.
#16251
<aba> i was just in detroit
<jasn> congratulations.
<aba> some black man next to me in his car kept flicking his nose
<aba> i rolled down my window and told him i dont have any cocaine
#1545
<peng> Guilty and I never had dealings
<Guilty> Remember that time you were lonely and couldnt find any new Brittney porn
<peng> which time
<Guilty> And I hadnt gotten a haircut in a while so my golden locks were flowing
<Guilty> And I happen to have a tight red jumpsuit...
<Guilty> And well, you know
#30277
<J3anyus> lk's tiny asian penis could never penetrate anything though
<J3anyus> an inch can't do much, buddy!
<LkAway1> Width > length
<J3anyus> LkAway1: if you only have an inch of length, width is worthless
<nylint> Lk has a dick like a tuna can
#16607
<`Tenshi> ass munch.
<ibutsu> yes, I do on occaision
#25173
<CrdStang> Oh dear
<CrdStang> Oh fuck dear no
<CrdStang> My stupid ass dad just drove the ride-on lawn mower here from his place 3/4 of a mile away
#48739
<VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
<VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
<VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
<VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
<MaXilla> hahaha
<MaXilla> NICE
<VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
#38557
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions
#27944
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes..
<tmoenk> People have said that i have an infinite supply of patience.
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes spent infinity in just four days.
#50516
<Merturk_NB> lets see how these new speakers work
<sidewinder> by vibration, just like the old ones
<Merturk_NB> work good
<sidewinder> that's nice
#121898
<+twk3V`Hucky[hbfs]> I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy.
#308969
<Hyptosis> Urine used to have tons of uses that are now replaced with science
#8209
<Kyuss> how big should disk 1 of neverwinter be?
<JtHM> |<----------------------------->|
<JtHM> (not to scale)
#18436
* oddjob throws a rubix cube at jitspoe
<jitspoe> ow
* jitspoe looks puzzled
#52718
<HypnoGenX> I know about as much about mobile phones as I do about girls.
<HypnoGenX> They're both noisy and frightening, yet they make me want to touch them.
#33003
<perro-ness> see.... i enjoy being able to go to class, fall asleep, and still do better than everyone else
#18870
<Peptis> i'll catch you guys later. i'll be gone until the 28th
<Peptis> gotta go home and pack
<Twinge> noooooooooooooooo
<Peptis> you going to miss me?
<Peptis> is that what the no was for?
*** Peptis has quit IRC (Vacation!)
<Twinge> no, I just dropped my bread buuter side down...
#53534
Anony-X>so its dark right
Anony-X>and theres something wet on my shirt
Anony-X>my imediate thought is gravy left from tea
Anony-X>so i lick it
Anony-X>turns out i sneezed earlier...
Anony-X>=[
Anony-X>this is the worst new years ever.
#15766
[markel(markel@i.got.shelled.at.shellyeah.org)] do you think if you walked down the street wearing a #unixhelp shirt, someone would eventually kick your ass?
#5874
<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's performance accordingly
#23013
<Gazuga> WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PICKLE AND AN ATLAR BOY?
<YenenuNF> I DON'T KNOW
<Gazuga> CATHOLIC PRIESTS DON'T FORCE PICKLES TO PERFORM ORAL SEX ON THEM
<Gazuga> AHAHAHAHAHA
<YenenuNF> AHAHAHAHAH
<gopus> that was dumb.
<gopus> that's like saying "Why did the chicken and not the pickle cross the street?"
<gopus> and then saying
<gopus> "because the pickle doesn't have feet"
<Gazuga> ahahahah gopus good one
#112136
<Thalagyrt> i've just brought it up in the admin board, i'll give it a few days for people to discuss
<Sam> Cool.
<Thalagyrt> then i'll let you know and you can decide if you want to help out or not :p
<Sam> thanks.
<Thalagyrt> there will be an initiation ceremony involving a goat, three frogs, a crooked wooden stick, and a condom
<Sam> I'm not a fan of condoms.
<Sam> I'll go without.
<Sam> The rest is fine.
<Thalagyrt> okay.
#154662
<tgies> my mom stopped saying that we should shoot all illegal immigrants because she saw a video on the news of a guy jumping a fence and then making the signum crucis
<tgies> that's pretty fucking funny
<tgies> they all deserve to die until such time as we have conclusive mom-reviewed evidence that some of them are catholic
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
#53351
<Sp3cial> heard coming from my brother's room (he has a freind over, they're plsying soul calibur 2)
<Sp3cial> "Why are you using Taki? she su- oooh, bouncy!"