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#19677
<[EFU]psyk0mantis^gK> BLINK BLOWS MEN COCKS
<+TlMMAH> as opposed to women cocks?
#7356
<zeitgeist> bobs car is now known as scomobile :)
<lsd> hehehe
<lsd> does that make bob 'scoman'?
<lsd> nananananananana
<lsd> SCOMAN!
<zeitgeist> lol
<lsd> quick scoman! into the scomobole!
<zeitgeist> holy floating point exception errors scoman!
#35016
<zaney> how tall is arnald
<zaney> from t2
<zaney> i cant spell his last name
<HomerJ> zaney : can't spell his first name either
#149797
<PSOAddict> ugh. I even have all of the requisite social skills to be liked, according to wikipedia.
Comment: #xkcd
#62544
<bizzy> hep which wacom tablet should i get
<bizzy> alternately do you have one to give me
<hep> the biggest one
<acidjazz> hep waddya use it for?
<hep> everything
<bizzy> ok so its like dildo shopping
<bizzy> now i got it
Comment: #bantown
#14781
<throwback> you mean to say that someone overreacted on irc?
<throwback> when the fuck does that happen?
#15618
<Icaby> i think im like 5'1 260 <Paul_Bunyan> Cool, a human sphere
#42057
<Celestar> I almost got trapped yesterday
<Celestar> in a fucking car park
<Celestar> I was just paying, and suddenly the only gate began to close
<Celestar> so I ran up and found a photo sensor
<Celestar> luckily I always have duct tape in my bag
<Celestar> so I patched the light barrier with duct tape
<Celestar> to get my car
<GeniusDex> lol good work Celestar :P
#307731
<Amadiro> RumpledElf, according to that definition, my markov-chain based chatbot spouting random phrases combined from previous messages it recollects from its database is probably more sentient than most actual human IRC users.
<Amadiro> aib, it usually ended up pretty much just spouting out sentences it heard previously to other people at a later point. Additionally I ran some simple regexpes over the output.
<Amadiro> That caused some hilarious conversations like the bot arguing with some guy whether it's "slipknot" or "slipgnot" (replaced all k's with g's)
<Amadiro> aib, we also fed it the bible, all 7 harry potter books, various pornographic novels and Karl Marx' "Das Kapital" later on, with brilliant results.
<aib> add a Hitler biography and you've got an Internet discussion generator
Comment: ##programming@irc.freenode.net
#53053
<Morton> Joke time.
<Morton> What has legs but can't walk?
<sid> A statue?
<@onix> a table
<Morton> A CRIPPLE!
#32744
<@tadashi-> i remember everytime chinese new year rolled on by
<@tadashi-> the teacher would make us do a parade through the school
<@tadashi-> and i'd fucking lead it cuz i was the only azn in my class
<@tadashi-> i was like wtf
#16858
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo
#794
<ckx> part of the problem with christains
<ckx> is they're so gullible
<DigDug> ckx: isn't that why they're christians in the first place?
<ckx> heh good point
#17390
<@Afterglow> what's the point of irc anyway
<@Afterglow> everyone idles
< destruct> the "point" is that if you take the third word spoken on the second tuesday of every month of the the third person down in each channel you visit on irc, they will form a description of the path to the lost city of atlantis
#2681
*** CSGpunk (CSGpunk@dialup-67.25.73.97.Dial1.Raleigh1.Level3.net) has joined #winprog
<CSGpunk> anyone live in raleigh, nc and know where i can get drugs
#37991
<VooDoo-chan> im sitting at home watching TV with my girlfriend, Amanda, last night... her daughter is sitting on the floor in front of us eating Jell-O... she asks me "Sean, what is Jell-O?" i look over at Amanda and she looks at me waiting for me to answer her daughter... i turn back to Tesley and tell her "Well, honey, Jell-O is made from Crushed Unicorns"...
<VooDoo-chan> whole lot of crying happened after that
#300634
<dmi> Wanted: HOWTO migrate Lasagne from Bowl to Plate using Knife and Fork.
<eoan> dmi: Spatula lasagneMover = new Spatula("knife", "fork");
<dmi> eoan: Good idea, but it throws a SurfaceAreaRangeException ("Available surface area too small")
<dmi> I can force it through, but it then throws all sorts of warnings about violation of structural integrity
<dmi> :(
#28953
<kare> The next Microsoft OS will have a new anti piracy feature: it will come in an arcade cabinet and you'll need to insert coins to boot it or start a program
#68207
jingoisticbsnis: e^x is walking along and 42 goes running by screaming, "There's a differential operator at the end of the street! If he catches me, I'll be nothing!" So e^x goes up to the operator and says, "I'm e^x. You can't do anything to me!" And the operator says, "Hi, I'm d/dy."
#855
<EFX> does the cum in an australian girls throat go down counter clockwise?
#20081
<Charlums> i was on tour with the biggest touring act in the world for 2 years kids
<Fitzy> on tour huh?
<Charlums> lord of the dance
<Charlums> i was in lord of the dance
<Lernal> hahaha
<Lernal> oh god
<Fitzy> are you THE lord of the dance?
#20987
[21:13] (@KOLDSTARE): I was informed this is a rich part of town
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): wore my leather jacket to dinner and I got stared at
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): its not like I ripped it off a cow and stuck a zipper on it
#52518
<nox>I was sitting on the bus on my way to school and couldn’t help pausing my iPod for this one:
<nox>Black man #1: Yo! Whut the fuck are you lookin’ at?!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Would it hurt for you to speak respectably to others?
<nox>Black man #1: Nigga whut? Are you black? You looks black, but dat must just be black paint on yo skin!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Nevermind. I appologize. I’m sorry.
<nox>Black man #1: You sorry?! Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to yo momma!!! Call her up right now! Say sorry dat you lost yo real color!
Comment: .derekilicious @ wordpress
#29634
[Asking for pictures.]
<Yosh^Yosh> you have to gain my trust for that :P
<Factotum> Fair enough, Yosh.
<Yosh^Yosh> ah, almost XD
<Yosh^Yosh> but i don't like the thought of you underssing me with your eyes :P
<CraiDt> How do we gain your trust Yoshiewoshieboshie
<CraiDt> And we don't do that with our eyes, we have photoshop for that
#7421
<WargasM> i like chocolate
<WargasM> it makes me think of boobies
<WargasM> i wonder if you could make a woman lactate chocolate milk, if the DNA was just right