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#36393
<staniel> Cameron: I got my internet running faster now
<Cameron> good for you. my nose is running faster than my internet right now
Comment: #chemicalfusion/irc.freenode.net
#38412
< jordan_> A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for
Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender
between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an
unfortunate error in translation.
#6377
<glasnost> i remember how DOS had no command for recursive removes
<glasnost> until they added deltree
<Logan> glasnost: deltree
<glasnost> thanks logan.
#40638
<Whoahey> Yeah, y'know those headphones we sell where it blocks out all other sound but still lets you listen to music?
<ColonelPanic> Yeah
<Whoahey> Y'know how I always say that everyone always puts them on and their friend always says the same thing
<Whoahey> "Can you hear me?! You're a complete tool! <insert random insult> ...did you hear that?"
<ColonelPanic> Heh right.
<Whoahey> Some guy and his girlfriend came in and tried it
<Whoahey> Might I add, she was friggin' gorgeous
<Whoahey> He puts on the headphones, usual conversation ensues -- "Can you hear me?" ::dude shrugs::
<Whoahey> And I'm not even kidding, the girl yells out at the top of her lungs "I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU WITH MIKE!"
<ColonelPanic> holy shit lol
<Whoahey> The guy just laughs, shrugs and points to the headphones.
<Whoahey> I swear, everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and were like O_O
#30522
<BusyChild> i hate it when youre just flirting with a girl and you poke her on accident
#12347
<@skold> is this going to be a 'my penis is bigger than yours' conversation? cuz i have a ruler and a camera.
#297991
<nim> I remember having to rma classified harddrives when I was in the navy :P
<nim> it was like
<nim> nim> yeah, your hdd's broke
<nim> dell> ok ship them back
<nim> nim> can't, they are classified
<nim> dell> ?!?!
<nim> eventually dell agreed to let me keep the platters
<nim> and just ship them the case
<nim> and the motor
#31399
<@wangzang> HOLLY SHIST EARTHCQUAKE
<@wangzang> OMFG
<@wangzang> whoa
<@wangzang> holy fucks
<@wangzang> jeseu i'm not kididings
<@wangzang> jesus christ
<@wangzang> omg mog mgoomgmgo
< SteamedHams> it must be shaking the shit out of your keyboard
<@wangzang> omog
#10475
*** hep transubstantiated into SUPERMEGAHYPERKITTEN
*** SUPERMEGAHYPERKITTEN transubstantiated into SUPERMEGAPANTSLESSKITTEN
*** Starscream (eric@dis.gruntle.org) has joined channel #insub
<Starscream> hi.
<Starscream> i came in because hep has no pants.
#51244
<the_fonz> i've been dating this chick
<the_fonz> it's been my most stable relationship
<the_fonz> i thought it would last a while
<the_fonz> TURNS OUT SHE'S MY COUSIN
#1275
<iis> exploit me
#35298
<withnail> uhhhhh you know that lttle microchip on your credit card....if that kets all ketamine in the grooves of it is that gonna really matter?
Comment: #geekissues
#7066
<Ein|sk00l> Goddammit.
<Ein|sk00l> Is it too much to ask for ONE hot shower a week?
<Staberinde> Yes
<Staberinde> But then I live in California
<Staberinde> Where its too much to ask for electricity at least once a week
#297445
<tscmga?> hi, i am just trying to register a new account on ubuntu forum
<tscmga?> it ask me a question
<tscmga?> What color is an orange?
#47228
<pastoralist> ...Guess what
<Mr_Tabernacle_Choir> What.
<King_JT_the_First> what?
<Ruby> what?
<pastoralist> Guess
<King_JT_the_First> you're getting married?
<Ruby> you got a dog!
<ozy> you renamed France!
<King_JT_the_First> you're going to be a father?
<Mr_Tabernacle_Choir> You discovered how to make your nipples lactate chocolate milk?
<Ruby> you won the lottery!
<King_JT_the_First> you're signing up for voluntary sterilization?
<ozy> you're being taken to court for child custody rights by an 11-year-old?
<King_JT_the_First> you're actually naked right now?
<PM_Emirthatank> you got laid?
<pastoralist> Ok, enough
Comment: #almea irc.foreverchat.net
#295523
<Rocks_the_Keys> noooooooo red ring of death on my xbox
<Rocks_the_Keys> anyone know how to play .avi movies on a wii?
<Keevan> put a laptop on top of the wii
#34993
<SisterJessica> there is no tree or leaf worth crying about
<infinite_monkey> SisterJessica - Where do you think oxygen comes from?
<SisterJessica> infinite_monkey the air, thanks.
#296825
Oddlot: I guess I might have to re-install windows.
FuzzyPlushroom: Whose is it?
Oddlot: Joannas.
Oddlot: My cousins friends friend.
FuzzyPlushroom: she's paying you, then? :P
Oddlot: If she is, in weed.
Oddlot: Either that, or a bj, whichever works.
FuzzyPlushroom: Congratulations. You're officially a goddamn stoner.
Oddlot: Yeah.
Oddlot: I figured that much out.
#9978
adam_afe > I just got a nice email from the most beautiful woman in the world :~)
adam_afe >Laura!! :-)
Urthworm_afe > what does she say?
adam_afe > err..
adam_afe > "Fuck off and stop emailing me you stupid worthless gimp."
#301921
<dhar> you know how I started work at that Italian restaurant last week?
<Curris> yeah
<dhar> it's called Ristorante Tiberian and I never the Command & Conquer reference until I had this customer in
<dhar> he came in wearing a t-shirt with a red logo on it
<dhar> and when I served him he said "praise kane"
<dhar> I was so confused, I thought he was like some religious nut
<dhar> when I delivered his food I noticed the logo on his shirt was the NOD logo
<Curris> hahaha
<dhar> I almost dropped his plate cos I was laughing so much
#73997
<Detty> aww, my poor housemates have sore muscles from playing wii
<Detty> maybe if they'd ever USED THEM BEFORE, they'd be fine, like me
<Baconfish> Detty, why do i imagine you in real life as one of those folk that do nothing but sit and complain about everything else?
<Detty> i usually stand
#282392
<sereni> What the hell.
<sereni> It's not my fault the kid came up to my fucking window and stood there for 5 minutes before his parents did anything.
<sereni> Yeah, I have blinds for a reason, but you're a god damn parent for a reason.
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#70439
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES!
#41
<_Riddler_> i was in the grocery store today
<_Riddler_> and I got this boner
<_Riddler_> I dunno
<_Riddler_> Maybe it was the melons
<IceWizard> Riddler: YOU SAW THE CARROTS