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#310192
<coppro> elliott: actually, it's worse right now, I'm in the USA
<coppro> where the solution to counterfeiting problems is "add more ink"
<coppro> eventually all US bills will just be solid green
#73512
Retro: I have discovered how life works.
Retro: "Men: No shirt, no service"
Retro: "Women: No shirt, free drinks!"
#14582
<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl
#16789
<Daishi> i couldn't connect to irc, so i went out with my gf instead
#13401
(tarmac) FUCKFDUCKFUCKFUCUFKC
(tarmac) OMG
(tarmac) PAIN
(tarmac) my nipples are chaffed
(tarmac) from running
(tarmac) with a wet shirt
(tarmac) and
(tarmac) i sprayed colonge on
(tarmac) WOW
#61477
<ktek> yesterday some dumb teen on a bike heading toward my car shone a green laser in my eyes, laughing as he rides away
<ktek> so i did a u-turn and went after him
<ktek> he looks behind him as he hears a car coming, sees that it's me and starts booking it down the road
<ktek> i get behind him and match his speed, and he's freaking out screaming like a little girl
<ktek> i lightly hit the gas and hit his back tire, and he flipped off his bike and hits the shoulder pretty hard
<ktek> i stop, roll my window down, see he's okay and i laugh and take off.
<ktek> now that's a good day
#7286
( Comatose ) play dough is the food of kings
( Chino ) play dough is too salty
( Comatose ) but its not as crunchy as crayons
#5113
<reub> if i ever met you guys in real life i would never touch your rulers
#22279
<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a friend that was going through CS in college, so we were talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department now?"
#49997
<B> what westlife songs have I sent
<Pokeytax> what possible gain can I derive from telling you
<Mullenkamp> what is a question mart
<Mullenkamp> k.
<Mullenkamp> question mark.
<B> we are too poor to go to the question mart
<B> that is why we have no question marks
<Mullenkamp> yeah, that would explain it
#51634
<f1agrant> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident.
#31429
<CrzyViper> What's the McDeal at Mcdonalds today?
<Vulcan> McDeal?
<CrzyViper> yeah they have a special every day of the week... here in canada.. and it's wicked
<Lumpy|hereish> McMadCow Burger
#311252
<xyz> sadly I'm from russia so
<BogomilP> xyz: How open minded are you?
<xyz> are you going to link me some weird tentacle porn if I say yes?
<BogomilP> No
<BogomilP> Just getting a better picture of the world
<BogomilP> I dont like stereotypes so Im looking for good modern people to reference when trying to prove to someone what the world is changing even if most people in some specific countries refuse to
<Shiz> maybe not fall into the stereotypes in the first place
<Shiz> then there's nothing to disprove!
<BogomilP> Shiz: Im not saying that I fall into the stereotyped. Its just a nice way to say to some closed minded idiotic assholes that even if they thing their breed is not a dieing kind there are people in their country that still support modern open thinking
<BogomilP> Its nice....
<BogomilP> And that progress is being made despite their biggest efforts to stop it...
<xyz> was really hoping for some weird tentacle porn to be honest
#195581
<titaniumone> A customer came into Best Buy and very clearly asked me where the "Black CD's" were. I assumed he was just your average ignorant racist so I brought him to the rap section, at which point he freaked out and had me get a manager so he could get me fired for being racist.
#305949
<@Profane> my right hand aches
<@Profane> from using the touchpad for hours
<@Profane> >:(
<@Profane> stupid fiddly powerpoint
<@Riocaz> Yea "touchpad"...
<+goat> "powerpoint"
#2921
(Fungus): idler, define " life " please :)
(Idler): Fungus: Life is the thing that grows in my fridge
(Idler): Starting to get really big now
(Idler): Might have to kill it some day
(NX): did u try to eat it?
(Idler): NX: No, that's what I should have done a long time ago
#300892
<abiff> I don't like beer in cans
<abiff> That's why I drink it
#10288
* kaori hugs Corey as a friend.
<Surago> how else do you hug someone?
<kaori> There are
<kaori> different ways
<kaori> to hug people
<Surago> A very friendly hug consists of you hugging my legs while you suck my penis?
#32873
<Alvein> most of my internet knowledge comes from finding porn
#8735
<arfmcbarf> i'm gonna teach you a lesson you wont soon forget
<arfmcbarf> i.e., how to integrate ln x from 0 to infinity
<arfmcbarf> first you get the antiderivitive
<arfmcbarf> of ln(x)
<arfmcbarf> i.e., 1/x
<arfmcbarf> then i forget the rest
#9130
<FairLighT> you know something's wrong when you have dreams about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass
#900
<D1> why does cs give me that purple screen once I get out of one game and start a new one?
<D1> WHY WHY WHY
* |Chris away ..(autoaway).. (On/l)(Off/p)
<D1> don't hide behind your petty autoaways
#4724
* spockdude rustles smoothly and gingerly
<Wyatt> spockdude: Careful, don't exhaust your vocabulary
<furan> haha
#46368
<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20% off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway,
so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with
anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.
#61143
Teh Cranny: What if someone came up to you at random and said "I need pants"?
Sharp10390: I'd take off mine and give them to them so that i too could share the glory in asking for pants.