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#31195
<Sion> does sound see if it sounds well how is it positioned on the mp3
<Sion> haha
<Sion> wtf did i just type
#6176
<Hostile> when i woke up i found pictures of Salma Hayek, A turkish guy's
page and my flip flop in my scanner
#308772
<TheDancingLobster> yeah
<TheDancingLobster> i tend not to read code anyway
<TheDancingLobster> i just glare at it
#16780
<Slime> Whenever hot chicks come up to me I always end up, like, vomitting everywhere and somehow my pants fall down, and then someone has a black eye, and everything goes wrong
#3281
<ZeroZerv> I need condoms, but I dont want to go to a store to pick some up
<ZeroZerv> i'm timid
<aNuBiS-> ZeroZerv: timidly pull out
<Dildosaur> ZeroZerv: get some JB Weld, about a 1/4" ball, and shove it down your penile hole, wait for 3 hours
<ZeroZerv> wtf is that
<Dildosaur> that should do
<ZeroZerv> does that work?
#11485
<jre> I know how to end racism. It involves a lot of fucking.
<egg> 1st ANNUAL ORGY TO END RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
<Idiotsavant> Usher in the vaunted age of syphilis
#44914
<SeaQaeS> hey!
<SeaQaeS> you guys wanne hear something cool?
<SeaQaeS> I've got a telepatic connection with my PC...
<SeaQaeS> My computer is in my room
<SeaQaeS> when I go downstairs to lay on the coutch and watch some tele.. I often
<SeaQaeS> get the feeling I have to go upstairs again (after 15 in or 2 hours or something)
<SeaQaeS> And when I go look at my screen, someone is talking to me on MSN
<SeaQaeS> so my computer is telling me telepaticly that someone is talking to me
<SeaQaeS> nice of him isnt?
<SeaQaeS> its true
<SeaQaeS> hmm.. now its telling me that noone gives a shit
#28316
<Destruya> We were in Ashland, VA, coming back from unloading my shit into a rented SUV coming back from school
<Destruya> And there's this van, California tags in this McDonalds we pull into
<Destruya> Ashland is only good for three things
<Destruya> Bathroom, food, gas
<Destruya> Nothing else
<Destruya> Perfect rest stop
<Destruya> Anyway, these stereotypical fuckin' Westies are in this Central VA bumfuck McDonalds asking for Cappucinos at 11:30 at night.
<Veen> heh, fucks.
<Destruya> Then, when the black lady at the counter recommends coffee, they ask where the nearest Starbucks is.
<Destruya> It's like, SHIT, people - get a fucking Coke and move on with life.
<Destruya> Caffeine is caffeine
#11176
<IronCurtain> I can talk to two people on the internet at the same time
<Shoryu> DAMN D00D your l337
#297589
<ooops> WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DISNEY MOVIES AND MICHAEL JACKSON
<ooops> DISNEY MOVIES CAN STILL TOUCH KIDS
Comment: #themaxx on efnet
#49861
ec0 R 1: i just LOVE spending money
suburbia37: but hopefully you'll be making it back in spades
ec0 R 1: whatever that means... lol
suburbia37: right now i'm picturing people throwing shovels at you
#31313
* Joins: msft (swi@3155232f.22cbf9e3.client2.attbi.com)
* Gargoyle sets mode: +v msft
<+Mike> oh jeez. Microsoft is in here
<+Mike> y'all hide those corp copies of XP!
#10567
<Antifuse> christ it's hot out today too
<Bionic_6> yea
<Bionic_6> sweating like pedophile in a playground
#3835
<Rajio> my friend's such a bastard, he wouldn't let me get my quarter's worth with VF4, challenged me just for the sake of beating me :P then he did the same with tekken, but then i wipped paul out and owned his ass :P
<toNe> Rajio: paul? is that like a nickname for it?
#113837
Chelsea: ...why do I always check Yahoo's bulk folder when I know that almost nothing goes in there that I'd actually want?
William: dunno
Chelsea: I've been getting an unusual amount(read:two per day) of spam mail that doesn't get redirected there lately, though.
William: Well, the spammers change their tactics every so often
Chelsea: Yeah
Chelsea: Their "try to sell Viagra to a female" tactic hasn't changed, though :p
#11137
<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway
#305949
<@Profane> my right hand aches
<@Profane> from using the touchpad for hours
<@Profane> >:(
<@Profane> stupid fiddly powerpoint
<@Riocaz> Yea "touchpad"...
<+goat> "powerpoint"
#30559
<Pixistix> I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
<Pixistix> If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice
<Pixistix> Problem solved.
#301941
<ShadeS> r4v5: know much about turntables?
<r4v5> not *much*
<r4v5> i put an album on it and then move the arm over?
<r4v5> and jazz comes out?
<r4v5> but yeah, the main things i know are things like "if you take a 12" trance single and play it back at 33, it becomes a chillout single of longer length"
<myself248> bwaahahaha
<r4v5> you're laughing but it was pretty fucking amazing. Friend has crates full of techno; I was like "can I spin some?"
<r4v5> First one I grabbed was full of obnoxious high squeaks. switched to 33 and it was fat acid sounds.
#65051
<FireSlash> So, at my office they're deploying a bunch of new HP Color Laser printers. These things are hot. Double sided printing, fast, etc.
<FireSlash> Now, to set them up its pretty simple... Plug it in, call some guy and have him do all the internal setup via telnet, then pop the toner in and its ready to roll.
<FireSlash> So, aparrently the guy they tasked to do this is colorblind.
<FireSlash> I'm currently going around the office and it appears that he somehow managed to defeat odds and get EVERY TONER in the wrong order.
<FireSlash> But it gets better.
<FireSlash> They're keyed so you can't do this. He forced them into each slot so it takes two people and a lot of manhandling to get them out.
<FireSlash> Aparrently someone asked him about it and he was like "Yeah, those printers are stupid. Why do you need four grey toners?"
<FireSlash> >.<
#2701
<necrofile> i wonder what happens if u put your playlist in your playlist
<DigDug> OMG DON'T!!!!
<DigDug> THE UNIVERSE WILL COLLAPSE :D
#49782
<cobalt27x> florida is a giant phallic hurricane magnet
#27969
<@kingmob> yeah, it's definitely a three-cup-of-coffee day
<@kingmob> have to go the fucking laundromat
<@kingmob> or do i?
* kingmob searches desperately for even one more pair of boxers
#12433
<DarkPhan> humm... i want to find some software that will track eye movements on a webcam
<Spooky42> www.fbi.com/shareware
#8866
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know