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#307608
* Lawrence yawns.  "Napping then poker tonight."
<runrunner> fap poker
<Fritz> Fapoker
<&Ashilstraza|Raveness> how does one play fap poker?
<runrunner> kind of like strip poker
<Fritz> If you have a good hand, you win

#29631
(joe) what do or did you do wedsday dil?
(@Dilandou) i dressed in drag and hung around in bars.
(@Dilandou) why?
? Joins: joe-y (joe@dialup-171.75.103.181.Dial1.Cincinnati1.Level3.net)
(joe-y) stupid dialup ...what was ur answer?
(@Dilandou) i did some php coding. why?

#4077
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah

#31141
<IceWizard> time to call aol!
<IceWizard> cuz eye yam bored and their reps are fun to talk to
<J3anyus> IceWizard: hawhaw
<IceWizard> im serious!
<IceWizard> call them and say you heard about aol and want to sign up but dont know where to find a disc
<IceWizard> tell them they should make them easier to find

#8470
<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.

#40138
<Coyote> "The U.S. motto, E pluribus unum, means "out of many, one." It first appeared in a Roman poem as part of a recipe for making a salad.

#6363
<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...
<JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.

#10028
*** wolex has joined #lockergnome
|wolex| hi
|wolex| Anyone active at this time?
* nobody is
|wolex| thanks
|wolex| but I need some help
* nobody can help you
|wolex| thanks again
* nobody wants to help you
|wolex| have a great day then
|wolex| oh thats better
|wolex| and why is that
|wolex| oh. nobody is a name!!!
|nobody| hahaha

#1833
<fileface> can someone help me with my IDENTIFY, i forgot my pass
<fileface> any opers alive?
<cd> me
<cd> type: /quit i am gay
<fileface> Y?
<cd> cos it will fix your password
<cd> it will set it to 'iamanidiot'
»»  quits fileface (Thug4life@c47s127h6.upc.chello.no) (Quit: i am gay «~{Polaris IRC}~» v2.04)

#10925
<meiscoole:#pc> my ethernet card isn't lighting up and displaying physical
connection.  Any one have any idea why?
<munky:#pc> broke ethernet cable
<meiscoole:#pc> what is an ethernet cable?

#44127
<ThreeWork> man I love the theoretical situations we propose around here
<ThreeWork> my boss proposes "You're coming into the parking lot and your
brakes fail. The AR lady (who's REALLY bitchy and pissed me
off my second day here) and the facilities lady (who's so
fucking mean she literally can't keep a facilities handyman
here more than 3 months) are crossing the parking lot. Which
one do you hit?"
<ThreeWork> So I think for a moment, then respond "I handbrake slide and
hit both of them."

#30979
<@Huntress> couldn't avoid laundry any longer, ran out of undies
<+Kaelic> what? how?
<+Kaelic> all you need are like 6 pair to last a few months...
<@Huntress> HUH
<@Summoner> TMI Kaelic TMI!
* +Raven puts on his gas filters and scientifically pokes Kaelic with a probe
<+Kaelic> don't worry, I'm not wearing any right now

#34140
<@FarkStatsBot> think you need to reboot
<star_angel> i did that already
<star_angel> so bot
<@FarkStatsBot> did you restart the computer?
<star_angel> yeah
<@FarkStatsBot> still didn't fix it?
<star_angel> and when i did then knux was lordcrank
<@FarkStatsBot> you might have a virus
<star_angel> no i have a school pc i cant get viruses... but thanks

#264828
<HalfNote5> You guys do realize that if McCain wins, watching him try to lead the country is going to be an equivalent exercise in frustration to watching your great-grandfather trying to set the VCR clock.

#55755
<GenericLoser> I know someone who wears the Apple-white earbud headphones, but doesn't actually have an iPod, nor any MP3 player, or even a CD player.  He just puts the other end in his pocket and everyone assumes he does.

#3969
<blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend and started talking to us
<blazemore> and asking which bands we like
<blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't heard of any of them
<blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"
<blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"
<ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them
<ScumDog> as a universal message of love
<ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word

#13148
[aphr0] do hospitals let you keep the umbilical cord?
[aphr0] I'ma have my kid's cord made into a die
[aphr0] tie
[aphr0] or freeze it and tan it and make it into a cane
[aphr0] give it to my kid when he learns to walk so he can walk around and pimp bitches with his umbilical cord

#57392
<LabMonkey> for that matter, the unhappiness of *any* animal is never cute
<sektie> except java coders.
<LabMonkey> While members of the animal kingdom, insects do not qualify as “animals” in my book.
Comment: #bifemunix

#311246
<MoikeLap> the E7450 was never designed with datacenter work in mind
<MoikeLap> apparently they can't withstand the rigors of being jammed under a 4U Sun server and used as a lever to line up rack-mount earholes

#64573
[b] "If you're ever interviewed for a programming job at a big company, you're
gonna get questions like this. At Yahoo! they asked me one about how to figure out which one of 1000 bottles of wine was poisoned, using less than 10 prisoners as 'test subjects'."
[b] I'd tell the prisoners that if they don't work it out on their own, I'll kill them all
[ctho] that's the answer that gets you hired for upper management

#5275
<zymurgy> #define NULL NULL /* because I can dammit! */

#294934
<mixster> This is the Internet - telling stupid people not to do stupid things is like telling a deaf person to listen closely

#2966
<FMJaguar> good, we don't have time for elitists here
* FMJaguar > all of you

#10739
* Spoon casts Wall of Silence
*** Spoon sets mode: +m
<Goku> why?
<Spoon> Because exo went insane
<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
* Sentinel checks..
*** Sentinel sets mode: -m
<exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!
*** Sentinel sets mode: +m

#56410
<PRoger> i recently purchased a broken dell laptop. the screen was broke. so i ordered a new one. i know how to fix that, but on my quest to hide the fact that i have a dell product (i despise dell), i decided to paint it, and maybe drill a hole for an acrylic window. nobody has them in laptops.
<PRoger> well, i took it all apart painted it...all that fun stuff. now its mostly back together and it works. but only off the battery, not wall power.
<PRoger> my desktop also decided to die as well.  so i have 1.75hours of battery/computer time left.
<PRoger> aw man I just noticed my battery has dead cells.  it just went from 56% to 0% dammit!!
*** Quit: PRoger (Ping Timeout: 54 Seconds)
<snorlax> ouch.  I was actually going to stop idling and try to help him until I saw that his laptop battery was the only source of power.

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