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#304593
<Zypur> I'm trying to sell a brand new blackberry storm2
<Zypur> It's stolen from verizon
<Failure> That's not a phrase you'd usually include when trying to sell something
#33865
<Megasaxon> haha
<Megasaxon> americans amuse me
<Megasaxon> they're so dump
<Megasaxon> er
<Megasaxon> :(
<Bendit> hahahahahaha
#310732
<camel> > Do you have a full-time job? > No > We're sorry, you do not qualify for this survey.
<camel> Why the fuck would I be doing a $2 30 minute survey
<camel> if I had a full time job
#27951
<fr30n> so you married
<fr30n> a pregnant woman?? man.. that's like putting gas in a car you've
<fr30n> already wrecked.. what's wrong with you.
#38918
<Chexee> if you flip the q horizontally
<Chexee> its the d
<Chexee> and if the mirror the d
<Chexee> its the b
<Mousey> lol
<Chexee> lol
<Chexee> qdb
<Chexee> wow
<Raimaru> lol
<Chexee> im such a loser.
<StickMutilator> uh huh....
<StickMutilator> I'm gonna qdb that
#3407
<timmo> and it involves a girl named bertha
<timmo> WHO WOULD SUBJECT THEIR DAUGHTER TO THE HORRORS OF THAT NAME
<timmo> 'this is my daughter bertha, she eats villages'
#183939
<&ScaryLptp> on my blackberry I have a turret voice from Portal that says "preparing to dispense product" when I get email for one account. I just stepped up to a urinal beside 2 people and had it go off and I couldn't stop laughing. surprised I didn't piss all over myself.
<&ScaryLptp> unzip, "preparing to dispense product"
Comment: #shsc
#53901
<galisus> I think I realized I'd never touch Linux again when I was like.. "Holy shit I never have to deal with X11 EVER again.."
<galisus> It was like my first blowjob all over again.
<galisus> Good times.
#1609
<chris`> ever notice how the mini pizza pringles cans dont have a lot of pizza
stuff on them but the normal sized ones do?
<Prae> to make an observation like that
<Prae> you must weigh at least 500lbs
#16839
<Tocool> Im so bored
<Tocool> I can predict my day
<Tocool> I woke up at 12:30, will sit around on computer till about 4, head to work, come back at 10:30, sit on computer till 2, go to bed
<Shaddix> pretty good
<Tocool> This isnt the normal course of action, just recent turn of events have left me with very lil to do
<Shaddix> oh
<Shaddix> impotentcy?
#56643
<b0b> fucking hell dude
<b0b> i hate when the salsa in the jar gets low
<b0b> and I try to get it out with a chip and it gets all of my fingers
<b0b> and i just end up crying myself to sleep with my fingers covered in salsa
#3658
* auslandr pokes lint in the eye
<EigenLint> no poking.
* auslandr stabs lint in the eye
<auslandr> better?
#79
<SYch0> [^_^
<blazemore> cellphones will give you cancer
#81660
<Trinexx[4fk]> Vista makes me feel like a kid again. Not being able to do anything, having to get permission to talk to anybody, not being able to play any of the "cool" games, etc
#14374
<@jaffy> how the fuck does my moniter get so dirty, its like some cunt eats his meals off it while im asleep
#308726
<steveio>this dude at work is an insufferable asshole
<steveio>and he asked me to look at his code because it wasn't working right. But he had that air of "I couldn't find it, so I don't think you will either, but I know my boss will ask if anyone else looked at it, so here." Such an asshole
<steveio>anyhow, found the problem right away, simple fix. But I then added this lovely gem:
<steveio>#define sizeof( rand(
<steveio>he uses sizeof in for loops everywhere >:)
#53482
<@FireAngel> So, are we meeting tonight?
<%g4ngst4> yeah ;]
<%g4ngst4> i'll give you somethin all your ex bfs didn't.. ;]
<@FireAngel> A STD?
#8003
<Jon-> tom
<Jon-> imagine if your ISP pulled cable
<Jon-> what would you do?
<mewse> quit irc?
<mewse> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<mewse> hah.
#1032
(Curb) don't worry no trees were harmed in the search for my glasses, toes were stubbed and lives were lost...but all tress are fine
#32922
<@Plas> I get head easily
<@Plas> it annoys me
<@Plas> ..*headaches
#50168
<Montag> "Ubuntu" is an ancient African word, meaning "I can't configure Slackware".
Comment: Thats what Ubuntu means...
#56967
<Psyfive> I call my penis Dick Cheney
<Psyfive> yesterday it shot someone in the face
#6824
<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
#53824
< withnail> thats another thing, in video games you always have to shoot bosses in the head or the one giant eye or something. i know this wouldn't work in transformers, but just once i'd like to see a game where the commander radios in the information for you to fight the giant monster and it comes through " well sir we've studied him deeply and it would appear his weak spot is right in his testicles, so shoot there repeatedly"
< withnail> i mean just once
#19228
<OveRKiLL> iom tyoping w ith myi dick rihgt now.