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#9611
<djglitch> my house is full of doctor's mask and water bottles
<djcrom> house party?
<djglitch> yea, hehe
#27125
* Quits: Bad_CRC (Quit: IRC, Where the men are men, The women are men, and the kids are FBI agents.)
#60728
(+Oleander) sometimes I go into gay bars just to turn men down
(+Oleander) to boost my self esteem
#42131
<Coll[laptop]> baldness is an advantage in war, get the right angle and you can bounce the sun into your opponents eyes
Comment: irc.netronet.com @ #netronet
#53419
<buzzcocks> hey guys im gonna go watch some tv and consult w/ my good friend about her boy problems
<buzzcocks> wow that made me sound gay
<sickhippie|wtf> buzzcocks, is there something you need to tell us?
<buzzcocks> hey
<sickhippie|wtf> i mean, you can trust us
<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare
* sickhippie|wtf changes topic to '<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare'
#2222
<Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were watching the discovery channel today at work where there were these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches mating age
<Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay on a balance beem to appease some god
<kunio> HAW
<Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis the size of the empire state building
<orestes--> gah
<dab[afk]> ugh
<Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to its bobbing
<Turing_> lol
<Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
<Turing_> I hate the discovery channel
#302849
<Thinpy> Well, my first day at work didn't go at all well.
<Thinpy> Even though I'm probably the only competent IT person there
<Thinpy> well, as you might know I've been unemployed and living in my own place for three months
<Thinpy> in that time i have adjusted to living in a... relaxed environment
<Thinpy> for example, i have been wearing mostly loose-fitting sweatpants
<Thinpy> so when I need to drain the ol' bladder
<Thinpy> i have perfected a move at home by which I yank 'em down and start peeing in one fluid (lol) motion
<Thinpy> today at work I needed to pee and went into the work toilets
<Thinpy> since I was alone in there I kinda instinctively used the move
<Thinpy> only to discover that work pants, held up by a belt, do not come off as easily as my sweatpants might
<Thinpy> and I urinated copiously into my pants.
#300527
{rammy} all i really know about electricity is white to bright, black to brass, and green to ground.
{Alejo} and two in the pink one in the stink
{rammy} that's sex alejo
{rammy} wrong subjet
{Alejo} uhhh its the shocker
#201343
[+CJ] i didnt know the pentagon was in the shape of a pentagon till i saw it on transformers movie
Comment: call him an idiot at irc.swiftirc.net #swiftkit
#35184
<Blindsight> I am so fucking pissed off at my roomate's dogs
<Blindsight> I walked out in the kitchen and one was rooting through the trash
<Blindsight> I said "cage", and normally they'll go in their cage cause they know their bad
<Blindsight> but the one fucking whore, ran in my room
<Blindsight> I went in my room and was like "CAGE" and it started pissing, I scared it so it pisses
<Blindsight> I was mega pissed
<Blindsight> fucked up the dog and threw him in the cage
<Blindsight> cleaned up the piss then I'm sitting here
<Blindsight> and I hear a pissing noise
<Blindsight> I look over and the other mother fucker is "marking his territory" over the other one's piss!!!
<Blindsight> so I fucked that one up and threw him in the cage
<Blindsight> jesus christ
Comment: #neoturbine on irc.neoturbine.net
#4216
<pingboy> COUNTER STRIKE CURED MY PORN ADDICTION
#49419
VinnysMafia: i usually find i can get rid of annoying people by holding up a ball and yelling "go long"
VinnysMafia: I dont know why it works
VinnysMafia: it just does
#114096
<Timmay> Jeez, my dog and cat were sleeping down by the couch
<Timmay> Dog lets out a hideous fart, cat wakes up, stares at dog, slaps him accross the snout with her paw, and walks off
<krm> Aaahahahahaha
<Timmay> Sometimes I think my cat has more control over this household than I do :(
#30269
<FraGMarE> why do all these diseases have acronym names nowadays, like AIDS and SARS and shit. why can't they just make a real name for them like "Faggot Monkey Fucker Disease" or "Gooking Cough"
#19612
<DarkSpork> gods, I need to stop sleeping
<DarkSpork> Seriously. Every time I've slept in the last two weeks, I just have these godawful vivid nightmares
<DarkSpork> Last night's actually involved rm -rf / as root. That's actually the best of about 12.
#1083
<thinkmad> vvhat is pengs real name
<timmo> chris
<timmo> is your w broken?
<thinkmad> no
#4457
<phubuh> WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THIS
<phubuh> I JUST DOWNLOADED SoF2 AND IT WAS BLACK&WHITE
<phubuh> OH I KNOW I'LL NAME IS SOF2 SO MORE PEOPLE DOWNLOAD FROM ME AND USE MY BANDWITH OR HEY WAIT A MINUTE
<Katana> I tried downloading Harry Potter and got Ancient Secrets of Asian Sex
#10010
* Shi-chan beats Tino down
<Shi-chan> DIE
<Tino> haha
* Shi-chan takes out a spoonn
<Shi-chan> DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS
<ilifin> there is no spoon
#54790
Trey: I want to play games like Half-Life 2 at full settings and shit, what card do I need?
Amarok: So what about HDD fluid? Do you have enough of that? Because you don't want it to seize up and die right?
Trey: oh shit, I'll grab some of that when I go get some more blinker fluid at Wal-mart tomorrow
Amarok: blinker fluid?
Amarok: what the fuck is blinker fluid?
Trey: what the fuck is HDD fluid?
Amarok: Its the fluid that makes the tiny little wheels turn so that your data can be read.
Trey: oh, I thought you were joking
Trey: You don't have to buy that shit do you, I've never even heard of it
Amarok: ...
Amarok: you tool
Trey: fuck it's not real is it
Trey: goddamn
#3045
*** beltic has joined #html
<beltic> hey folks..
<beltic> anyone know of a good php chan?
<myn> #php
<beltic> thanks.
*** beltic has left #html
#3532
<blazemore> indian, asian.. same difference, they both end with "ian"
#8080
<z_evil1> what would be the good of a 3m dong? apart from the fact that you could only use the tip of it, not even that if it was in proportion, it would be reeeeal easy to get damaged, you'd have lag problems with sensations along it's length, and it would make you pass out upon erection :P
<z_evil1> mind you, you might be able to hang yourself with a 3m dong
<z_evil1> imagine that for a front page headline
<Bug> tie it round.. get an erection.. it'll do all the work..
<z_evil1> "IRC addicted freak hangs self with genitals"
#33365
<@Darren> I just found spiderman goatse
#58125
DavidMM says, "Next question... do I want to devote the next half hour to writing a Wikipedia article on fruit peel just to satisfy my own sense of injustice that there isn't one?"
Matt_D [to DavidMM]: Are you a botanist or in some other way an expert on plant matter?
DavidMM [to Matt_D]: No, but I like eating things with fruit peel in them..
Matt_D [to DavidMM]: Then you are the perfect person to write the Wikipedia article on the subject.
#300852
<ranc0r> IT Rule: When Symantec buys a product, it goes to shit.