Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#57445
<ozzybard> i had to get a new hdd today because the old one died on monday. Been so busy it has taken me this long to getting around to proving it
<lightguard> does it have porn on it yet?
<lightguard> i am of firm belief that all new hard drives should come with porn
<lightguard> it saves time, cause it's only going to end up on there later anyway
<ozzybard> that is probably why my old drive died... no porn
<lightguard> it has been conclusively proven that the life of the drive is directly related to the amount of porn on the drive
<lightguard> its like viagra for hardware :D
<Pyah-pyah> The more porn, the higher the chance of the drive crashing and consequently losing all that porn?
<lightguard> no, oddly enough.
<Pyah-pyah> That is odd
<lightguard> porn seems to have an effect on the stability of your system
<lightguard> for optimal running of windows XP, i recommend all Dell PC's be shipped with an additional 120gb drive filled with porn.
#8244
<`Trivia`> kq1.169. Swans are the only birds with?
<`Trivia`> 1st Hint: ******* Question Value : 4 Points
*** Joins: StupidFsh
<oregvphf> attitude
<JtHMx> Penises
<oregvphf> ;)
<`Trivia`> YES, JtHMx!!! got the answer -> Penises <- in 11.697 secs, and gets 4 Points
<`Trivia`> JtHMx has won 2 in a row!! Total Points this WEEK: 10 & this MONTH: 10
<JtHMx> what?!?!
<oregvphf> HAHAHA
<JtHMx> I WAS FUCKING JOKING
<JtHMx> TAKE THE POINTS OFF ME
* oregvphf falls over
#47217
<zeedo> youd think that there would be some sort of rescue process for submarines
<zeedo> but it looks like the process is "call lots of people who have subs and then we'll all get here and do stuff"
<zeedo> which is a decent plan for a party, not so good for rescuing trapped submariners
#301808
<Flack> hey guys whats the link to that website that goes through a little animation telling you to google things
#33887
<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out
#309169
<snacky> oh. FUCK you krut
<snacky> you are the worst person in the world
<snacky> I look forward to viciously murdering you to death a whole lot.
<snacky> hmm, that sentence is kind of unclear. I will clarify.
<snacky> I will viciously murder you to death a lot, and I also look forward to it.
<snacky> it's not that I "look forward a lot" to viciously murdering you to death
<krut> you look forward to murdering alot
<snacky> the death certificate will list the proximate cause of death as "vicious murder, a lot"
<snacky> although if the coroner isn't careful, he might not notice the signs of murder. in this case, he will identify the cause as "severe acute death"
<ShyJoe> which becomes chronic death after about a week
#251320
Zac2: "Scientists Find Gene That Makes You Good at Halo Also Makes You a Premature Ejaculator"
Jed_Reality: New Macbooks announced.
#34787
<W_J_F> where can i get a wav - mp3 converter?
<@eggburt> google lame
<W_J_F> where can i download google egg?
#8906
<vidividividi> kristen dumped me
<greggyhot> oh NO!
<vidividividi> i cant believe it
<vidividividi> i JUST bought her a 300 dollar necklace!!!
<vidividividi> at least i can count on all of you for support
*** vidividividi has been kicked by krassproduction (get the fuck out of here, you cheap jerk)
#310054
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome
#47839
<Pentavite> how does master chief manage to respawn in five seconds?
<goldfish> it took jesus three days
#15706
<PetrDoubt> Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS away from us forgot
to tell us.
#301115
<Indogutsu> Oh, funny thing I saw at Publix a week or two ago. You know those magazines in the checkout line?
<Indogutsu> One of them was a women's magazine with two rather contradictory headlines on the cover: "Party like Paula Deen this Christmas!" and "Lose 20 pounds by the New Year!"
#11397
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
#26293
<timmo> i fucking hate
<timmo> when i answer the phone
<timmo> and it gos like this
<timmo> me: hello?
<timmo> person: hello?
<timmo> me: ... <click>
<timmo> well i hate everything besides the last line
#61068
Ryan: Whats a good lie to fill some hours in? I have a day with nothing. lol
Andrew: uh.. something with orcs?
Ryan: lol, that would be telling the truth.
Andrew: thats sad
Ryan: I was playing WoW
#309588
< Dan39> does anyone else get annoyed by stuff that seems too highly abstracted... :|
< _habnabit> Dan39, like your question?
Comment: #python
#12343
<McMoo> i think there's a vacuum cleaner thief in the neighborshood
<McMoo> i wake up to a knocking on the door
<McMoo> some aZn woman is there
<McMoo> 'hi, i live down in 114. do you by any chance have a vacuum i could borrow?'
<McMoo> i'm not even sure there is a 114 in our building
<McMoo> and she's been vacuuming for a while now.
#14664
<Dejocko> I lose 50 IQ points when i talk to girls, no fair
<GIJosh> you had 50?
#8896
<StoneTear> damn i'm hot
<StoneTear> i smell like barbequed eliteness
#40097
* Myke is listening to:
<Myke> Case Fan - 3402 RPM
<Myke> Ontario Hydro - Singing the Transformer Blues in B-flat
<Myke> Dying Monitor - The 12KHz Capacitor Dance
<Myke> Stereo Amp - Ground Lift Fault (The Buzz)
<Myke> Fast Skuzzy and the Array - Synchronized Whine
Comment: #SPORKS - Myke needs a new stereo
#114349
<curgoth> We are the canadian borg
<curgoth> please wait to be assimilated
<curgoth> resistance would be impolite
<curgoth> pour l'assimilation en francais, presse sur "2"
#295402
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck
#49809
LittleBunny32: the girl you showed me on okcupid.com has the six things she could never do without as: Sex, love, music, movies, dildo, water and air
RenaissanceGamer: i never did like people on this that took it THAT literatly
RenaissanceGamer: because food would have to be up there too
LittleBunny32: haha I'd put like oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, phosphorus, sodium, potassium
RenaissanceGamer: i have always been partial to those six myself
Comment: My friend says, "You forgot nitrogen! You'd be totally FUCKED!"
#881
<|scar> Girlfriend pregnant error, [A]bort, [M]arry, [I]gnore ?