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#229
<iMike> i remember every time i closed my eyes
<iMike> id see your penis
<iMike> it was great
<iMike> i mean disgusting.
#300358
<Fax> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapeseed
<Fax> because if you write nutrition information labels for a living you need to get your kicks from somewhere
<Fax> I'd totally do stuff like "Polyethylene Monosodium Carbonate (Vitamin A, Vitamin B4, Vitamin lol this doesn't even exist I just made it up...but let's see you eat it NOW. Man I can't believe you're even still reading this. Go outside.)"
<lolfighter> Vitamin lol DOES exist.
<lolfighter> It was an experimental food additive developed in the very late 70s.
<lolfighter> By the early 80s a few human experiments had been made.
<lolfighter> My mother was strapped for cash, so she participated.
<lolfighter> She didn't know she was pregnant at the time.
<lolfighter> I was the result.
<lolfighter> The records were sealed after that and all research abandoned.
#202999
<@carbine> I need to find a new outlet for my emotions.
< pi> like a vagina?
<@carbine> And apparently it won't be the internet.
#304896
<red_delicious> slenderbot, you're growing up so fast!
<SlenderBot> I'LL PREPARE A HUNDRED COFFINS.
#53924
<triavox> :( i just missed an oppurtunity for being laid and got slapped in the face instead. anyone want to hear about it so they can humiliate me with their laughter?
<mj_> hahahah triavox
<SuperJuan> hell yeah
<triavox> this chick from my old high school came to my door at 8:30 asking if she could borrow a bar of soap(btw she lives like two BUILDINGS down from me so im thinking 'wtf is she doing all the way over here asking to borrow a bar of soap??"). so im like "uh yeah sure one second, wait out here".
<triavox> so i get the soap and give it to her, she goes "thanks" and just stands there. im like standing there.. my mind is blank. so im like "ok." and close the door. ten seconds later she knocks again and gives me back the soap and shouts "GET A CLUE DUDE!" so im says "what the hell you talkin about?" and she just laughs and walks away. only NOW do i get it, and i feel like breaking something.
#310968
<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back
#43091
(@Hidden_Hunter): My teacher was telling me that we had to write a creative story
(@Hidden_Hunter): few questions later she gets to me
(@Hidden_Hunter): and I ask if it can be an erotic story (jkingly)
(@Hidden_Hunter): she said that it needed to be creative
(@Hidden_Hunter): so i said what if it has banannas and spacegirls in it
(@Hidden_Hunter): she said it also needed suspense
(@Hidden_Hunter): i said no problem
(@Hidden_Hunter): the suspense is where the bananna went
Comment: #osbetaarchive
#16008
<eX|chika|afk> BTW how was Singapore ?
<eX|chika|afk> get any cool shit while u were over there, like HIV or Herpies ?
#2269
<kisama_> sequenced aantoehr dj snow taracck
<kisama_> TRIZACK WILL BE UPLOADED IN 1:10
<Amanda`> ...but no one will listen to it in a million years
#2394
<McMoo> but then last year the sermon like a week before christmas was like 'CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT PRESENTS - OUR ONE TRUE PRESENT IS JESUS CHRIST!!!'
<McMoo> my dad didn't even get my mom anything
<McMoo> she was pissed.
#7143
<DanSTC> Delusion, will you have my baby?
<Delusion> Dan: Yes, if it's cooked well.
#20470
<Optimus> i've said it before and i'll say it again
<Optimus> rogue is easily the hottest in x-men 2
<Pyr0Maniac> Yeah... but you wouldn't be able to have sex
<Pyr0Maniac> You'd get the life force sucked out of you
<Optimus> they need to invent some kind of full-body condom
<Pyr0Maniac> Man, it's called saran wrap.
#159113
< orgthingy> wait a minute, domains expire?
#62589
< zeleftikam> i had a fuckin weird ass dream last night.. suddenly i realised i could wikipedia two things at once and that was somehow amazing, then i appeared in a dance club and this dj at a table had two record turntables except they were circular lcd screens and each had a wikipedia page, and as he scratched the screens back and forth different wikipedia pages flipped on them
< zeleftikam> and he was reading them
< zeleftikam> because he was Lord Nikon from Hackers
Comment: #null (irc.nullirc.net)
#224117
<Scopes13mtg> Anybody know a good place to buy Russian singles online?
<Scopes13mtg> edit: To clarify, I am looking for Magic cards.
#311316
<Helix_Mouse> I want a website full of examples of retarded, nonsensical c++ code that runs and you have to guess what the output is
<Pi> that's called "stack overflow"
#11263
<CABAL> you're the fat one
<CABAL> like hell gravity would let you jump
#190804
<Chaos> I'm filing a complaint against you on xbl
<Yukupo> ;___;?
<Chaos> for tampering
<Yukupo> with what?!
<Chaos> my heart!
* Yukupo walks away
#5699
<Thrash|Zzz> YAY HARRY POTTER ON DVD
<Khross{killme}> O_O
<Khross{killme}> I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY
<Khross{killme}> Oh wait I'm heterosexual.
#37909
ben: Because she's sexy, and beautiful, and smart, and clever
ben: She was a cheerleader too, dude.
ben: Mmmm... mini skirt.
LivingTerrain: Mmmm... toms managed to build a rather nice system (Athlon Xp 2600+, Radeon 9600 XT, 512mb of DDR400, 2x80gb) for less than $1000
Comment: AOL IM session
#34916
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing
<Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
<tack> or rape them
<Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
<tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
#302643
sunny_mousey: you are on your way to alcohol poisoning town.
SudoJones: do hety have laoiqikcer store ther
Comment: #inportb on freenode
#310342
< cbreak> if the C++ committee was lead by Microsoft's Excel team... auto would be called car in the english version of C++.
#33546
<@Jon|AWAY> don't download porn from stile..
<@Jon|AWAY> I thought I had a stripper video..
<@Jon|AWAY> it's a man in drag with a sparkler up his ass.
#37086
<Vaevictus> now... what to play whilest my torrents finish up
<Vaevictus> hmmm
<Vaevictus> maybe i should play "make supper".
<Vaevictus> hmmm
<Vaevictus> i usually lose that game