Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#108807
<Stueh> Dear Penis,
<Stueh> I don't think I like you anymore.
<Stueh> You used to watch me shave, now all do is stare the the floor.
<Stueh> It used to be just you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine. You know, that's all we needed to get by.
<Stueh> But now it seems that things have changed, and I think that you're the one to blame.
<Stueh> Oh penis, I don't like you anymore.
* Penis blinks
<Penis> Dear Stueh, I don't think I like you anymore. 'Cause when you get to drinkin', you put me places I've never been before.
<Penis> Why can't we just get a grip on our mand to hand relationship? Come to terms with truly how we feel? If we put our heads together, we'd just stay home forever.
<Penis> Oh Stueh... I still like you... Let's work on it...
<Stueh> Dear penis, I think I like you after all.
<DamnedPixie> Man... that was touching
<Stueh> You're telling me...
#44521
<Flayra> Canada seems to have grants, the U.S. seems to have infomercials about grants.
#32058
<bobelina> bunny porn
<ZestyO> speaking of porn
<ZestyO> I need to download this video
<ZestyO> ...
<ZestyO> you didn't just hear that
Comment: #MxO
#16698
*** marily-manson was kicked by Satan (amature)
#7848
Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war! o/`
Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level. %)
Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war!
E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that currently houses my conscious and those physical manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!
%
#786
(Erich) i can run faster than a blood hound
(zp) Erich: all the free niggas can, thats why they're free
#1713
<odinnn> i used to be scared i would turn into a mexican if i ate too much
mexican food
#4061
(@Jumper): I've been to LegoLand
(@Jumper): I've actually been drunk in LegoLand !
(@Jumper): We had a huge company party in the Lego Castle
(+offwYtE): drink out of lego cups
([ric]): lagerland... sure that wasn't where you were Jumper?
#49452
<Goose> if you could only renice a person's inner crazy
<deblin> lol
<deblin> dude it's a woman, impossible =O
<Goose> lol
<Goose> single tasking system
<Yock> deblin: is there an entry in pf.conf for the cross country move? Maybe you can lower its priority too
<Yock> nice -19 `pidof wife`
<shray> bahaha
#34147
<MrMiyagi> the older you get, the better you get
<tharaka> not if youre a banana
#3502
<Butters> this girl I'm talking to on AIM just tried out her new "pink panther"
<chowda> Butters: I'm sure "she" did :)
#62402
Spfamg24BIG: Can you get blind from looking at pictures of solar eclipses?
#77336
<zap> What's worse iggy?
<iggy> what?
<zap> Giving your boss the system documentation, all 800 pages of swedish-chef York-desh-born Bork Bork Bork and visio diagrams of many chefs interconnected with kitchen utilities and wiring with various details
<zap> (ie, IP: BORK.BORK.BORK.BORK, System Name: Borka_de_Borka!)
<zap> or finding out that, with the help of the manual, he restored approximately /40GB/ of data spanning 3 DLT tapes (in a very unfriendly autoloader), to the proper locations, with the proper permissions, having never done this before?
<iggy> wtf
<zap> Thats what I thought.
<zap> Even more interestingly, he hasn't commented on the booklet or asked me about it. He did, however, let a bork slip as he was leaving for lunch today after asking some dumb questions about licensing.
<iggy> ...
#16524
<[0FXTCJ|U> are you excited now?!?!?!
<[0FX|nw> yeah
<[0FXTCJ|U> do you have an erection?!
<[0FX|nw> no
<[0FX|nw> hmm
<[0FX|nw> ¨cant say this in english
<[0FX|nw> i tooked my hand on my cock and drew forwards and backwards
<[0FX|nw> what do u call it?
<[0FXTCJ|U> jacking off?
<[0FX|nw> oh
<[0FX|nw> in sweden we call it runka
#29512
<AragornEstel> last time i was at a lapdance place i spent 700+ USD
<AragornEstel> XD
<Kiwi-chan> WHAT???
<CraiDt> ROFLMAO
<Kiwi-chan> XD
<Kashi> 700? holy sheite!
<Kiwi-chan> holy shit
<Factotum> But it was a classy place.
<kouha> roflmao
<Kiwi-chan> O_O u don't say...
<AragornEstel> well, not me alone... but me and my brother plus some business connection ^-^
<Factotum> The guys there were really hot, he said.
#154074
<newnicknamehere> how do I fix it?
<luvlg15> type
<DJPerks> type /nick Phail4Lyfe
<hopefulsemblance> type "/phailatlife"
<cheddarcheese> lol
* newnicknamehere is now known as Phail4lyfe
<hopefulsemblance> there ya go
* Phail4lyfe is now known as Phailatlife
<hopefulsemblance> perfect
<Phailatlife> it doesnt say Samual
<maddemp> niiiice
#647
<Medieval> the chances of me spontaneously climaxing while thinking about that are increasing
#36334
<Rjx> perl code is incredibly hard to read
<Moot> Rjx: only if its written well
#300379
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: These faults are known as dip slips.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: The dip slip has a slot, called the dip slip keyhole.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: The hanging wall is thrust upwards into the keyhole in the reverse dip slip fault.
<Asaph> That last one is NOT real.
<Pryo[Geo110]> it is, and I swear to god, this is the best class in the history of classes.
<Pryo[Geo110]> A 90 year old man just said "Dip Slip" over 50 times in under 5 minutes, in a completely legitimate scientific lecture. My life is complete.
#3902
<+Tre> how do I get girls to have sex with me?
<+sp00n> show them software you have written..woman go wild for that kind of stuff
<+Tre> for real? how should i show them? do I carry my laptop around and show random woman??
#16248
(jbk) I think i'm going to get some alcohol this weekend seeing as i'm done with building robots
(jbk) and that calls for a celebration :)
(_none) jbk: youre probably the only person that has ever said that sentence
#11074
<Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond.
#296807
<skint> i heard all Russians are poor and illiterate
<lennoxRU> almostly
#29818
<Optima|Kraft> http://edition.cnn.com/2003/TECH/ptech/10/01/g3.health.reut/index.html
<Parak> great
<Parak> soon we're all going to be mutants
<Optima|Kraft> tru
<Matrim> However, cognitive functions such as memory and response times were boosted by both 3G signals and the current signals, the study found. It said people became more alert when they were exposed to both.
<Matrim> fuckin' sweet
<Matrim> i guess this explains japan
<Parak> However, reproductive functions such as erection and ejaculation times were boosted by both hentai and the anime signals, the study found. It said people became more horny when they were exposed to both.
<Parak> i guess this explains japan
<Parak> :/
#27200
<ecchi-oni-misha132> i watched legally blonde 1 in the hospital
<Frostbiteh2o> heh
<Frostbiteh2o> how was it?
<ecchi-oni-misha132> found it mildly amusing with the help of opiats