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#34733
* Now talking in #Christian
<Cyk> How is a painting of jesus better than the real jesus?
<Kraynor> beats me
<Cyk> you only need one nail to hang the picture
<Aer> your going to burn in hell
#8576
<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again...
#309533
<nedbat> [Tritium]: you youngsters and your kidding...
<nedbat> get off my lawn!
<[Tritium]> But im not done mowing it....did you forget you paid me to do that?
<[Tritium]> is this even your house?
#28757
<mef> stupid roommate.. unplugged the router
<xcp> was there a fistfight
<mef> almost
#1948
<JDigital> Straight up, yo!
<Kayma> ...
<JDigital> What? Can't a guy talk about anal sex on IRC any more?
#35070
<splice> this conversation is like teaching retards to do calculus
#23701
Jakefeb3: if i brought a cat in my backback and let it out during finals do you think i would get in trouble
AvatarOfSolusek: which finals?
Jakefeb3: math
AvatarOfSolusek: ...probably not
AvatarOfSolusek: Mrs. J woulnd't care much
Jakefeb3: well if a cat bums outa my backpack dont be suprized
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
AvatarOfSolusek: ok
Jakefeb3: and if fireworks shoot out of its mouth after it comes outa my backpack..... dont be suprized of that either
#25220
<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> shit
#11004
<blue-elf> IRC Weather: Partly laggy with an 80% chance of netsplits.Expect some afternoon smurf attacks coupled with windbags from the east.
#1331
<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.
#35217
* Tetra takes a boy
<Tetra> bow
<Tetra> damnit
<Tetra> bad bad mistype
* Tetra goes away to cry
#25011
[noddingGeek] lowkey: Yeah shes bringing a different friend this time...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: that's good. you can use the same moves again.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: I don't have any moves...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: damn. come up with some quick.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: ...I talked about my pcmcia ethernet card...
[noddingGeek] They didn't seem to care for it...
[jimmiejaz] were you passionate about it?
[noddingGeek] Yeah I was like "I CAN'T FIND MY MOTHERFUCKING ETHERNET CARD!"
[noddingGeek] Really pissed off like that..
[jimmiejaz] perfect.
[noddingGeek] Then they told me to get off the computer...
[jimmiejaz] and you said you were trying?
[noddingGeek] jimmiejaz: yeah thats exactly what I said....
#14572
<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow
#304297
<+mu> also, stupid fucking british dating system
<+mu> it's 10/10/10
<+mu> not 10/10/10
<+mu> geeze
<+mu> !
Comment: Posted 10/10/10
#301609
<redcurl> i have successfully creeped myself out to the point i can't sleep
<redcurl> i was reading an article about stange things, like the bermuda triangle and they mentioned shadow people
<redcurl> you ever see something out of the corner of your eye? like a person or something but it's not there when you turn to look? or it walks through a wall or something?
<TMH> only when i'm baked as hell
<redcurl> we used to have that really bad at my old house- there was a long hallway all the rooms were off and if you were at the kitchen table you'd see someone walk from room to room without anyone else there.
<redcurl> i hadn't thought about it in years.
<redcurl> so now i'm all creeped out
<TMH> shadow people coming to get youuuuuuu
<redcurl> SHUT UP
<TMH> actually no really have you thought about them
<TMH> if they hide a lot maybe they just want to be left alone
<TMH> and if they can walk through physical objects then surely they can't actually touch physical objects
<TMH> how do they live? how do they eat? do they reproduce?
<redcurl> shush
<TMH> MAYBE THEY REPRODUCE BY SLEEPING WITH US
<redcurl> i don't want to think about it. i'll get more creeped out.
<TMH> oh god oh god oh god
<TMH> ever had a really good sex dream?
<TMH> SHADOW PEOPLE
<redcurl> STEVE WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN
<redcurl> WAAAAAH
#50646
Julius: dude so my sis knows a girl right
Julius: an this girl
Julius: used mayo as a sexual lube one night
Julius: so
Julius: next couple of days
Julius: she gets unexplained orgasms
Julius: so she goes to the doctor
Julius: and
Julius: boom
Julius: maggots
Julius: a la vagina
Comment: ... out of KY? Check the fridge...
#2870
* FiShYmAn kills Noddy
* FiShYmAn sells the film to ld saying its olsen twins for $50
[Noddy ] rfol
[Noddy ] he'd get off on it either way
#25625
* Xian just heard a loud bang out side
<Xian> OMG
<Xian> THe pizza boy hit our car!
<Valv|tuba> WHAT?
<Boko> Is the pizza okay!?!?
#4004
<Tony> a hand job..10 dollars, a blowjob..25 dollars, full sex..50 dollars, a long lasting relationship..priceless. There are some things money can buy, for everything else, theres blackmail.
#781
<D1> mp3[01 - s~1] [1m47s/1.23mb/96kbps]
<D1> arg
<D1> i need one of those mp3 name thingies
#39481
<fino> uh.. my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner today
<fino> i think that means "clean your flat, there are god damn dust bunnies everywhere"
<oLol> nah she prolly wants you to use it for masturbation purposes
#5423
(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh.. ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!
#34059
<SilverTallest> ABSTINENCE! NOBODY'S DOING IT!
Comment: irc.starfusion.org
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#296915
<_Pooky> Watch out for the 700cal sandwichs tho.
<lion42> _Pooky, I'm on a 4000 calorie diet. I can have all the sandwiches I damn well want. :P
<Uncertain> that's no diet, that's a monster
<_Pooky> No shit...why are you on a 4k diet?
<_Pooky> Weight training or something?
<lion42> Pancreatic insufficiency. Because I don't dump out enough enzymes, I don't absorb calories or.. anything at all, really, as well as other people do.
<lion42> 4000 is my normal, average, maintaining my weight diet.
<_Pooky> Ok, that makes sense then.
<_Pooky> That's got to make for messy bowel movements.
<lion42> Yes, my shits are festive.