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#15713
<{Mantis}> we had an interesting conversation once while we were both doing
nitrous balloons...
<{Mantis}> pure...pharamsuetical grade nitrous I might add
<{Mantis}> we were in the middle of this awesome conversation and then we both
looked up and here walking up to us....was this naked woman who was painted
from head to toe as a cheetah...
<{Mantis}> with wiskers and all...I thought I was hallucinating...and then she
walked up to me...and reached out and said...."can I have some of your
ballooon"
<{Mantis}> I was so startled I let it go......and it went zinnning around,....
<{Mantis}> she went damn.........now I'll have to blow and another one...
#52518
<nox>I was sitting on the bus on my way to school and couldn’t help pausing my iPod for this one:
<nox>Black man #1: Yo! Whut the fuck are you lookin’ at?!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Would it hurt for you to speak respectably to others?
<nox>Black man #1: Nigga whut? Are you black? You looks black, but dat must just be black paint on yo skin!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Nevermind. I appologize. I’m sorry.
<nox>Black man #1: You sorry?! Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to yo momma!!! Call her up right now! Say sorry dat you lost yo real color!
Comment: .derekilicious @ wordpress
#301607
<Mabbo> So, last night I discovered that my flatmate is functionally retarded
<Mabbo> Matt asked "Wait, which one is actually a star, the sun or the moon?"
<Mabbo> Keeping in mind, this is a guy who is in uni to become a primary school teacher.
<stiglet> Was he drunk?
<Mabbo> Stone sobre.
<Mabbo> Ben and I laughed, thinking he was joking
<Mabbo> he just stared back at us. "Seriously, I know one of them is, but which one?"
<Happysuggs> ...
<Happysuggs> SPECIAL
<Mabbo> I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps the standards to get into Uni of Edinburgh aren't what they were made out to be.
#16682
*** UndErX has joined #help
<UndErX> sup lamer newbies
<UndErX> answer this if u r not newbiez:
<FiEsTy-> well, ask
<UndErX> no newbie lamer
<UndErX> lamerz
<FiEsTy-> hey please dont type /quit fiesty- because it makes me quit IRC.. please
*** Quits: UndErX (Quit: fiesty-)
#954
(@Asimov) bah, i've got a life
(@Asimov) i just dont let it interfere with my irc :)
#35800
TheAntiCrust: WTF is an installshield??? To defend me vs. the install dragon?
#50180
<DangerousCurves> man
<DangerousCurves> now i wanna go into a store
<DangerousCurves> and buy a pregnancy test
<DangerousCurves> then come back in 5 mins and buy some wire coathangers
#171
[+Vile] (smcn): just because you dress like them doesnt mean you are
[!smcn] m/sg Vile would you like to touch my breasts
[!smcn] oops
#34176
<Rjx> what
<Rjx> ian curtis killed himself?
<timmo> rjx: yeah, a long ass time ago
<Rjx> I only found out kurt cobain died like 2 years ago
<timmo> ...
<timmo> youre not up on the news
<Rjx> no, I'm not
Comment: #GeekIssues EFNet (March 2004)
#24269
<The_Roach> Where's Gatts when you need him?
<Winter> dead?
<The_Roach> Not possible.
<The_Roach> That's where we need him.
<The_Roach> PARADOX!
#20790
<Epi> anyone gots photoshop7 cd key, my net browsering skills are only lvl 36, i need lvl 40 so search for one
* JesterX gives Epi Scroll of googling +5
<JesterX> use it wisely
#5276
<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows
#30514
<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.
#19477
(+Normandy) apparantly, and i was told this on good terms, that girls refer to other "physically challenged" girls as "sparkly"
(+Normandy) when lads would simply say "ugly as fuck"
#299580
<Pryoidain> Alright, my QDB script is complete!
<asaph> QDB Script?
<Pryoidain> Yeah, see I got tired of the weird thing they use where 1 positive vote and 1 negative vote cancel out to give 0 votes in the numerator of your quote rating...
<Pryoidain> So I devised a formula. Positive Votes = Numerator + [(Denominator - Numerator)/2]
<Pryoidain> I then made a script that searches for my nick on QDB, gathers the various quote levels, runs the above formula, and then tells me how much people love me!
<cjk> Interesting. I may want a copy.
<Pryoidain> Execute Nao!
*five minutes pass*
<Pryoidain> Hm. It must have failed.
<Pryoidain> Either that or -pi people enjoy my quotes.
<asaph> The latter option seems more plausible.
<Pryoidain> Fuck off.
#14217
<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself
#27459
<spazzer> last chick I screwed she hurt for a day afterwards
<spazzer> i got the nickname "the hammer" at work now from that
<spicrx7> hahaha
<spicrx7> spazzer works at a day care center
<spazzer> eww
<spazzer> you pedophile
<spicrx7> i'm not the one bangin 10yo's so hard they hurt for a day afterward
<spazzer> 35 year olds you mean
<spicrx7> yeah in dog years maybe
#3078
*** Now talking in #catholic
<shervin> where can I download "Catholic School Girls Gone Wild VII" and "Guide to Successfully Raping Nun's 2002 Edition"?
#50946
<Thuryn> i figure, carry the machine gun for business, and the rapier for pleasure
<Thuryn> but don't forget the dagger in both cases, for close quarters. and perhaps a 9mm ;)
<biform_3> i don't think we can be friends
<Thuryn> :(
#7825
*** Now talking in #physics
<Lud> "To enable the plasmatic vortex in the neighbouring regions of an oscillating singularity, we would of course have to override the eternal protonic fields surrounding the various quantized eddies"
<TrixyDLuX> oh - of course
#2199
<|Chris> i was stuck behind some car today and the license plate read "dick 404." my first thought was "oh shit...this guy must be impotent as all hell if his dick is missing."
#11718
<SpecOps> my dad went to a Microsoft convention...he got a bunch of software for XP..Office XP, he also won a recliner, which was cool
<hmne> my dad went to a microsoft convention as well..all he got was a 200 dollar fine and a sore ass
#11230
<David> topic lock off ?
<David> how
<David> ?
<DJ-Pyro> /msg chanserv help
<SSJ4xVegeta> how do i group my nicks 2gether
<DJ-Pyro> /msg nickserv help
<DJ-Pyro> you'll notice a pattern
#307246
<Eevee1> Suppose in management terms, you'd call it the Seagull.
<Eevee1> Fly in, squawk loudly, shit everywhere, and leave.
#119961
<Squirrel^^> hey hey
<Robin> what's shakin'?
<Squirrel^^> ur mum
<Robin> possibly
<Robin> thanks to the parkinsons disease and all
<Robin> :/