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#160946
<@Blode> do you like the sonnets?
<Shakespears_sisters> whats that lol
#297802
<John> i would really appreciate it if you would stop IMing my girlfriend.
<DevXen> i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
#26324
<tito> they should have a band called Stool
<tito> and their promotional people could be called "Stool Pushers"
#305736
<Keyla> we had a fun customer today who came in with a very detailed handwritten list of components for a computer he wanted us to build for him
<Keyla> core i5 or i7, 6-8 GB of ram (or maybe 12), 2 hard drives (he specifically requested no raid)
<Keyla> for word processing
<_habnabit> Maybe he wanted to use OOo
#52916
<Scythe-> so
<Scythe-> i got sick of my compyboxen crashing
<Scythe-> due to (i suspect) an overheating video card
<Scythe-> so i pulled it off, pulled the heat sink off, scraped off the stock heat conductive goo and put on some propper stuff
<Scythe-> so now i'm waiting to see if it's going to crash
[19:04:33] <Scythe-> or explode into flame
[19:07:33] * Scythe- (~hahaha@Scythe-.engineer.gamesurge) has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<ari> I'd say explode.
<ari> That was what, 3 minutes?
Comment: Kaboom
#7278
( Loony-Stud) pretty ass?
( Lev ) possibly....everytime i check i get dizzy from turning and fall down
#16428
<WeaselBoy> livejournal is nothing but thousands of people all saying "Does this make my ass look big?" at the same time
#303515
&Akensai: i just brutally slaughtered some russian asshat
&Akensai: called me an elephant penis in russian
&Akensai: so i let him know i could understand russian
&Akensai: by calling him 2 week old moldy dick juice
&Akensai: now we're friends.
#4644
<Byn> What's the difference between cows and the guys on this floor?
<Byn> The cows don't jack off in our showers.
#299949
Joe: Tommy's room is right next to mine and the walls are really thin
Joe: Every time I hear him start yelling at his friends over Xbox Live when I am trying to sleep
Joe: I release the IP address on our router
#5793
<]SpIkE[> HELP ME!!! my 120 chipset monitor 17 inch with Gforce 4 doesn't support the internet!
#3995
<Donitz> Sleep! From Blamco! Its kinda like dying - but without the commitment!
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#28686
<Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or football game shown on TV at a bar?
<CrustyNutz> You can do it put your ass into it!
<TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up line..
<xTrinityLuvx> yeah just be yourself
<speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
<speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
<Evil_Couch> zap her with a fucking tazer and then drag her back to your place
<Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food ration in half.
#4825
*** Toramo has joined #---------
<Toramo> It's a full house tonight!!!
<Illuvatar> Can I be uncle Joey?
#303402
LG: My bro left his phone at my house last night
LG: so... I just tried to call him to tell him
LG: I tried to call his cell with mine. when his was in MY OTHER HAND
BadSpoon: did you answer?
LG: no.
LG: I'm pretty retarded.
LG: But I have a little dignity.
#35635
<Jason_> ./me stabs r0sie to death
<Jason_> FUCKING .
<-- jimmiejaz has kicked Jason_ from #to2600 ((here's a tampon, take care of your period))
#339
<locust> Hey phil how do I get rid of my ip number
#18162
Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> : taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!!
PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that on my front website
#197234
<wito> I like my variables like I like my women
<Polytope> bound?
<thermoplyae> greek?
<Szego> hairy?
<Quadrescence> infinitely differentiable?
<acetoline> free?
<Aldaron> complex?
#34873
<everest> the iraqis captured 4 italians, 2 americans, and a korean
<everest> they're setting up for an offensive joke.
<everest> tomorrow they'll force the hostages to walk into a bar
Comment: #geekissues
#56328
<CarbonCpy> I used to have Raggedy Anne & Andy on tape. It's not gay for me to admit that, is it?
<Og|Oggilby> no
<Og|Oggilby> I used to have it
<egg> 2 gays don't make a straight
Comment: #gbs-tv
#57593
<Steck> Oft, your not welcome here
<Oft> bullshit
<Oft> they all want me here
<Carcer> Steck, you have no right to say whether or not he's welcome here
<Steck> Really?
<Steck> Why not?
<Carcer> Because this isn't your channel, you douchebag?
<Steck> How about, this is my IRC network
Steck is ~Steck@netadmin.neverwinterconnections.com * Steck
<Carcer> Yeah.
<Carcer> That would be a good reason for him not to be welcome here.
<Oft> I could take you with one hand
<Steck> Still want to argue Carcer?
<Carcer> Ugh, I need to start reading hostmasks.
#20239
* [GSF]Kiru flatlines during a hallucinatory sequence in space where he drinks lots of tea and discusses politics with a talking orange and a plank of wood
#30269
<FraGMarE> why do all these diseases have acronym names nowadays, like AIDS and SARS and shit. why can't they just make a real name for them like "Faggot Monkey Fucker Disease" or "Gooking Cough"