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#67118
[thrukriz] guys do you know how to use MYSQL?
[samble] 'fraid so
[thrukriz] afraid of what
[samble] you asking me shit about it
#33713
<+x24[java]> damnit. i just cheesed my fresh from the drier pants
<@BalefireX> cheesed?
<+x24[java]> a macaroni escaped from the fork and left it's mark with cheese on my pants
<@BalefireX> ah
<@BalefireX> just checking it wasnt slang for defecation
Comment: #gideontech
#31763
<Rumpelteazer> have you ever drunk hand cream
<Rumpelteazer> I don't feel at all well
<Rumpelteazer> the original bottle broke, and all I had handy was my old coffee cup.
<Rumpelteazer> the bottle broke when I tripped over an old ps2 controller my husband had attatched to my computer for unknown reasons
<Rumpelteazer> and I returned to my desk with a big cup of coffee.
<Rumpelteazer> and I mixed the two cups up.
#24223
<rtype> u cnt hx me u hv no pwr
<rtype> nt evn th engn frm ur polo wl sav u
<[G]eM-TeC> the strange thingy is that i understand you
#233459
(phncs) what is the midwest good for
(phncs) other than giving stupid people political clout
(Iridium) lots of cows and no questions asked
#35249
<rocket> any idea what can cause really horrible disk performance in windows?
<gfjgfjgfj> windows
<Stonefish> windows?
<dooky> rocket: windows
<Igneous> •rocket• WINDOWS?
<Igneous> lmao
<dooky> lmfao!
Comment: #futuremark
#22349
<gilesw> so wtf is damn v-station
<gilesw> it was supposed to be out ages ago
<ToyLaNdeR> thats like a train station, but run by this guy named victor
#33863
<Backslash> You ATTEMPTED to commit suicide…?
<Backslash> Wow so every breathe you take is like a living testament to the fact that you can’t do anything right…
#4753
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
#56621
<robert> No one is talking in here anyways
<SVRCompHobbyist> so it's OK to flood, so long as no one else was talking?
<SVRCompHobbyist> that's bullshit
<SVRCompHobbyist> flooding is bad whether or not someone was talking
<robert> why?
<Kalypso> it puts thousands and thousands of people out of their homes =[
Comment: #wpi
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#10904
<StrScream> my pants are back up, after almost no downtime in the last 2 years.
#302077
<ssar> Fuck... saw the girl who lived across the street from me at this dinner party.
<ssar> I had always watched her through her window and shit... but man she just got even hotter.
<ssar> Of course the urge to approach her was strong, but I'm pretty sure a line that one should never use as an icebreaker is "Hey what's up? I used to stalk you."
#61997
<Vagrant> hey everyone
<Vagrant> I love you all
<Dylan> d'aww
<Vagrant> We may have our differences but in the end I know that you guys are friends for life
<Inkblot> I love you too,stranger?
<Goat> That really means a lot coming from you.
<hambone> thnx Vaggie :)
<Vagrant> fuck
<Vagrant> I was typing on the wrong line
<Vagrant> I wasn't talking to you bastards
#56475
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled
#296747
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers
#8906
<vidividividi> kristen dumped me
<greggyhot> oh NO!
<vidividividi> i cant believe it
<vidividividi> i JUST bought her a 300 dollar necklace!!!
<vidividividi> at least i can count on all of you for support
*** vidividividi has been kicked by krassproduction (get the fuck out of here, you cheap jerk)
#308922
<@i_c-Y> i had a nightmare yesterday that i bought 3 licenses of norton antivirus
#32827
<Allahkat> You know how they make like, "Totally 80's" cds? They should make Pity-Party cds. "Just Got Dumped"
<Allahkat> "No One Home For Christmas"
<bunnieWork> "I Eat Ramen With My Cats Every Night"
<Allahkat> HAHAHAHA
<Allahkat> "I Chat In IRC 24 Hours A Day"
<Allahkat> Oh...wait...
<bunnieWork> HAHAHa...ha.
* bunnieWork sobs
* Allahkat polishes her gun
#7301
<HA|MI-Edam> I read about this guy, and he was having sex with a girl, and his, you-know-what sorta like, spontaniously combusted
<EvilMonkey> ...
<DrWoody> Started on FIRE?
<MI-Edam> no, exploded
<MI-Edam> They say it was under so much pressure or something
<DrWoody> AHHHHHHHHH
<EvilMonkey> wt im never having sex!
<Suzie> your missing out
<EvilMonkey> missing out on having my mangina explode?
<EvilMonkey> no thanks
#17725
<prok> still living at home :/
<nug> living at home is cool and all, but it sucks to kick a bitch out in the morning and she walks past my parents on the way out
<p0ng_> fuck that, i'm loving with my dad till he moves
<prok> BEST TYPO EVER
#299439
<pgp> i had an out-of-your-mom's body experience, followed by an in-your-mom's body experience, and then repeated those things in a rapid cycle
#13151
[ @niffie ] I have no inhabitions right now
[ @aphr0 ] would you finger my asshole?
[ @niffie ] no
[ @aphr0 ] then you have inhibitions
#110372
<Beastage> notice how life and fail have same letters?
Comment: irc.neowin.net, #neowin
#29112
<Dekkon> i wonder what it takes to join the cia
<Ken-wr0k> suck a lot of dick
<Dekkon> then your mom must be way up there in the ranks