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#7888
<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/
#31093
<bil`> everytime i go into my closet i have to stand on my bed
<KArmA-> I figured you just stayed in the closet all the time
#69532
<clifgriffin> Women idolize a level of beauty only achievable through Photoshop.
#101437
<Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat, I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a horny female in my entire life...cool.'
<Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
<Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever said.
<Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.
#49734
Davester: Woo I just won at Freecell
Davester: Now all I need to do is get laid
Davester: And it'll be the best year ever
#33026
<@Keiron> Yahoo search brings up 24,400,000 hits for "porn"
<@Keiron> google brings up 92,700,000 hits for "porn"
<@Arcturus> Google - 300% more Pornful.
Comment: #voices on darkmyst
#28804
<danamania> yay I fixed my laptops battery!
<danamania> it was so dead, nothing would charge it
<danamania> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
<gelfie> don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
<danamania> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.
#311601
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
#77492
<big_bob_9> man i just took the SAT
<big_bob_9> im so tired
<krakatau585> haha its really hard isnt it
<beano> thats what your mom said
<big_bob_9> its so long too
<beano> thats what your mom said
<krakatau585> but you still dont have enough time to finish haha
<beano> thats what your mom said
<krakatau585> dude stop before you go too far
<beano> thats what your mom said!
<big_bob_9> rofl
#230
<kisama> i'll have dsl too, by this week, brett
<kisama> cockface is hooking me up
<kisama> :)
<Guilty|> Thats really nice of your mom to do
#306002
thoriumchameleon: !seen goldfinch
Sploosh: goldfinch was last seen in #LFS-support at Fri Dec 24, 2010 [04:45] GMT saying 'guys i heard a scream from down the road but im shitting bricks what do i do'
#15769
<jor> NE SXE/F W/P N A/S/L PM ME PLZ IF U R D 1 2 C 4 A BJ KTHX
#51854
<Mark> oh yeah. so my roommate got me to sit down and play need for speed underground on the xbox. he thought it would be funny because i was drunk, so i would fuck up, and he would laugh at me. except i ended up doing better and beating a bunch of races i wasnt able to do sober.
<Mark> which means im a better driver when im drunk
<Mark> i just have to find a way to explain that to the police.
#31955
* Hyou-Chan[draw] (kyoshyu@Admin.Nightstar.Net) Quit (Quit: Every night, you come when I sleep; you touch me; you suck me; you enjoy it, and then leave me to suffer... Goddamn mosquito!)
#3039
<MXV> can't really tell when wife is PMSing and when she is just naturally psycho
#28374
<nForbes> ohh cool
<nForbes> i bet i've seen your hose
<nForbes> house*
#301022
<Fraxtil> ugh
<Fraxtil> a bunch of mormons came to my door
<taiyal> lol
<Fraxtil> and I decided to listen to them
<taiyal> you didn't convert did you
<Fraxtil> fucking 15 minutes later they're done and I have a Book of Mormon and some pamphlets
<Fraxtil> haha no
<taiyal> I have a Book of Mormon
<taiyal> got it for free off the internet
<NitroX72> they can actually drag on that long?
<Fraxtil> yes, nitro
<taiyal> i've read most of the first book
<taiyal> you know what's even better
<taiyal> on the page of the Mormon website where you can request a free book
<taiyal> you can check a box saying that you would like to have a representative come to your door and explain to you
<taiyal> so you can essentially beam mormons at people
#10726
<FuriousG> shan|bbl
<FuriousG> you there?
<FuriousG> guess not
<FuriousG> but, one day, you will be there, and then, then... you will be at my mercy, and i will not be benevolent
<FuriousG> *sigh*
<FuriousG> i need to get out more.
#19865
<strlen> vw buses rock.
<gibichung> i don't think the buses rock on their own
#7839
<rob`> I mean, who would have thought that blood congeals into a pudding? :9
#2929
<neck> btw... bought an ice cream maker today :)
<qu4ntum> dont you mean a donut maker ?
<Lord-Data> very easy to get those confused ..
<neck> oh hell yeah
<neck> oh crap... it was a donut maker
#31946
<Melissa> What in the world was I thinking when I became a mother?
<JohnFlux> Melissa: "oh god, yes yes yes" ?
#297796
<Xerol|Work> customer wants to buy an "external processor"
<Xerol|Work> i want to buy a "gun"
<Xerol|Work> and "shoot myself"
<Warchamp7> You don't carry external processors?
<Xerol|Work> not ones that go in the "USA Port"
#50258
Clint: Did you hear that the police station got broken in to?
Clint: The thieves stole all the toilets!
Mikey_B: Yeah, I heard that at the moment the policemen have nothing to go on.
#24456
<epix|work> i was just browsing my home netowrk and i went into my brothers computer
<epix|work> seeing what he has, like in kazaa and crap, and its a bunch of porn
<epix|work> should i rat him out? so he is grounded from his computer for like a week
<epix|work> and that way i can d/l porn faster