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#33286
<monkeydog> do burn victims get a discount when they go to get cremated?
#6738
<Trog> I pity the english
* Yarn smacks trog
<Trog> they go to all the trouble inventing all these sports.. and then they turn out to SUCK ASS at them
#190804
<Chaos> I'm filing a complaint against you on xbl
<Yukupo> ;___;?
<Chaos> for tampering
<Yukupo> with what?!
<Chaos> my heart!
* Yukupo walks away
#93970
Tire Aramaki > how tough is a 3/10?
Na'Axin > on a scale from 1 to 10?
Na'Axin > I'd say 3
#44241
Dan> So here are two pyros comparing burn stories.. is this like the proverbial whipping out of the cocks, except for pyros?
*time lapse*
Jace> in chemistry class we were using bunsen burners, i took out a penny and decided to melt it
Dan> SWEET ASS
Jace> it was very sweet until i decided to cool it down in a beaker of what i thought was water
Dan> ..oh fuck
Jace> i mean the penny was melted...and i dumped it into a beaker of HCl
Dan> OH FUCK AND A HALF.
Jace> not only did it make a loud enough noise cooling itself down and getting everyones attention, but because of the heat change, and the fact that it was HCl, the beaker broke, spilling HCl, now hot because of the penny, all over. So it started eating away the table and floor and my lab coat.
Dan> Somehow I think your cock is bigger than mine.
Comment: Ooh, fire.
#305287
Suzuran: So my boss was talking about that 9 year old girl who got shot with the congresscritter
Suzuran: Talking about how she was young and innocent and looking at a career in politics "Totally innocent, she just wanted to know how American politics worked!"
Suzuran: And I said "Well, now she knows!"
Suzuran: and now he's mad at me.
Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
#10464
<Mand> If I had to be an x-men, i'd be Gambit.
<Ithaqua> I thought you WERE an ex-man.
#301414
<@GaidinBDJ> Wanna feel old? Just think, if they remade Back to the Future now, they would be travelling back to 1980.
#309350
<Proview_> freshman year of college, i'm like... oh, yeah, im going to try and be leet and install gentoo. try loading it frmo a flash drive, 20 minutes later, my HDD was erased, my external 2 TB drive was erased, AND THE FLASH DRIVE gentoo came on was erased
<Proview_> i had to email all of my professors and tell them "i tried installing gentoo and now i have nothing left. my work will be late"
<Proview_> my comp sci professors just responded with "understandable"
#64238
FFXFD: hmm, CNN has something on "the female brain"
LousyWork: is the article a ton of words that dont really say anything?
FFXFD: where every sentence contradicts the sentence before that
LousyWork: parked too close to other articles
LousyWork: halfway through it says "you arent even reading me are you"
#34174
<Guyp> my mom wont let me go to the gym
<Guyp> she thinks i'll look at girls and my mind will be sinning ;[
<Guyp> so i think i'll ask her if a gay gym is ok :>
#6492
<Bobo> Hobo-Niff, will you be my partner in dance dance strangulation?
#34302
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> It's like a book report from Hell
<Mayseth> Sounds like alot of writing, I'll get you started.
<Mayseth> Page 1: It was short, and boring. Losing interest to read book.
<Mayseth> page 2: Still boring. I fell asleep. Will continue in the morning.
<Mayseth> Page 2.5: God this book sucks.
<Mayseth> Page 3: I downloaded the rest of this report off the internet. Enjoy.
#4285
<mightyflo> TP-PS2 667 Remote Control: Infrared Transmitter for PS/PS2
<mightyflo> "Put your gamepad away and watch DVDs with a wireless remote, just like the pros use! Yeah, pro DVD watchers, that's right."
<SukiPotato4> Yeah, I have my bachelors in law, but my masters in DVD watching
#297777
<jimmiejaz> Doctors in Singapore say the virus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is present in the tears of patients with the disease.
<syberghost> Cry me a fever.
#28800
<gixxerca> Read Romans 1:26-32 to learn more about same sex relationships.
<DNAspark99> ummmm, no. fuck that. go out an be GAY yourself, if you REALLY want to learn more about same-sex relationships.
<gixxerca> Please spare 2 minutes of reading to learn the truth?
<DNAspark99> "truth" found in the bible?
#43711
<jwh> My ex gf once told me that girls don't poop
<jwh> I told her she was full of shit.
#116110
<ednos> root, help!
<ednos> the only language available is British English!
<root> ?
<ednos> I don't speak that!
<root> lol
<root> you'll survive
<root> it doesn't prevent you typing your posts in american
<ednos> I won't know which button submits
<ednos> is it "prevaricate about the bush" or "spot o' milk"?
Comment: #taskforceranger on irc.gamesurge.net
#2157
[16:18] <novocain> shit its 4:20
[16:19] *** THC_420 (VR66@24.102.63.76) has joined #winprog
#305241
<@Zardoz> so I left my blackberry in mun's car on wednesday only retrieved it now.
<@Zardoz> 16 missed calls! wow! I'm popular!
<@Zardoz> turns out they were all me trying to find my phone.
<@Zardoz> sigh.
#1263
<Toll> well lets see. moses was supposed to have lived some 800 years... and had a number of wives... could it be that he died at 75 but looked 800 after haveing lived with more then one
<CBA> Those were dog years.
#68399
TrogL> overnight the janitors turned off the master DO NOT TURN OFF THIS SWITCH switch
TrogL> they routinely ignore the DO NOT ENTER OR WE WILL CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF THE COUNTRY sign
TrogL> one of these nights I'm just gonna stay in the server room overnight with my favourite axe
TrogL> I want them so terrified of even LOOKING at the server room they'll emigrate first
TrogL> I'm finding less and less polite ways of saying 'WHAT PART OF STAY THE FUCK OUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND'
TrogL> apparently 'DANGER, DO NOT ENTER' doesn't cut it
#6697
<Tre`> I've got to find away to earn some dough
<bishoptl> sell some sperm. that's legal in the States, isn't it?
<bishoptl> or plasma - that should free up some $$$
<SHD> he's too young for selling sperm
<Tre`> I need *a bunch*
<bishoptl> sell your friends' sperm
<Tre`> that's just disgusting
<bishoptl> how badly do you want NWN
<bishoptl> I'm not saying you have to go milk them yourself
<bishoptl> just pass around the tupperware container
#155550
<TEHd> walkin home last night from the bars, reasonably wasted, stumbling everywhere, etc.
<TEHd> cop pulls up alongside me and charlie
<TEHd> says "You boys been drinking tonight?" in a pissed off, you're getting a ticket voice
<TEHd> charlie stares directly in his eyes, waves his hand in front of him and says "these are not the drunks you are looking for, move along"
<TEHd> cop laughs his ass off and drives away
#4790
<DAL9000> my pseudogirlfriend's preacher was like, all over her
<DAL9000> and she's not very liked at her church
<DAL9000> cuz they think she's seducing him
<trep> pseudogirlfriend, haha
<DAL9000> yes
<DAL9000> that's a fancy word for stalking interest.