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#310795
<PFY> We should have a tattoo like the scarlet letter
<PFY> "I deployed on a friday"
<PFY> that way you knew what you were getting into at interviews
#38603
<Sohcahtoa> So my girlfriend and I were at the store to get some stuff and we see a friend of ours.
<Sohcahtoa> He calls out "Hey! Its Bianca and DJ! Or is it DJ and Bianca?"
<Sohcahtoa> And trying to be all witty, I say "It's DJ and Bianca!" I always come first!"
<Sohcahtoa> And my girlfriend says "Yes...you DO always come first..."
#40181
<DEATH> i have a bloody 16:10 screen now
<DEATH> the way some games look could compete with goatse in terms of stretchiness
#15716
* dpk looks through older messages from af.mil
<dpk> From: TinkerARSMail <TinkerARSMail@tinker.af.mil>
<dpk> Subject: Help Desk Ticket Open Notice
<dpk> Ticket Number TER000000000033, has been "Opened" for problem: OPERATOR
<dpk> ERROR..USER IS MORON...///ABC by the Help Desk.
<dpk> yeah, i checked the headers.. definitely from af.mil
#302797
<Sabriel> I think I'll shower and game a bit
<Sabriel> before working on hw
<KamikaziNinja> thanks for showing up out of no where to tell us
<KamikaziNinja> :P
<Sabriel> haha
<KamikaziNinja> HEY GUYS I THINK IM GOING TO IDLE TODAY. PROBABLY NOT GONNA TALK MUCH. JUST LETTIN YOU KNOW
<Sabriel> haha
<mike> I AM A WOMAN IN A ROOM FULL OF MEN AND I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT BEING NAKED WHILST WATER RUSHES OVER MY BODY
<Ignite> mike: half of the channel is gay
<mike> AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES
<Ignite> :D
<mike> Ignite, well, I guess you can speculate on what conditioner she uses.
<mike> :P
Comment: #80h on irc.80h.org
#12158
<Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
<BlakHawc> A simple one: be run over, feet first, by a very slow-moving steamroller.
<Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes pop out?
<BlakHawc> Jarp: Well, only if you're a toon. Otherwise, you're pretty much fucked.
#116801
<@Foxhill> apparently when you piss in the sink, good etiquette says you're sposed to lift the plates up first
#36225
* NWC_Omega gets bored and wonders if he should attempt to make idle chit chat with the few girls on his buddy lists
<@STompy> do 'em !
<@STompy> ask for a blowjob
<+NWC_Omega> ....!!!!
<@STompy> :/
<+NWC_Omega> oi
<+NWC_Omega> after I said that, they all logged off, creepy :-S
#452
<ck3k> blaze has a job, it's called "leech off parents"
#38316
Miyomei2: I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee.
Miyomei2: And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing.
Miyomei2: I've never felt more manly than in that moment.
#8007
<quacky> if you get carpal tunnel from giving handjobs, can you still get L&I from work?
<Captain_Tenille> Depends if it's job related, I guess.
<Buggy> hmmm... if the handjobs are for managers, maybe
<geekie> technically...you just have to give the handjob at work.
<geekie> and then management is responisble for said handjob
<Buggy> well, it's not really in my job description.. but maybe it's in yours
<geekie> no..if the accident occurs in the workplace, they are liable.
<Buggy> right, so if it's an accidental handjob...
<quacky> that's what I'm talking about.
<Buggy> or an accident occurs while doing the handjob
<quacky> only we're talking about handjob-related injuries
<geekie> right.
#3200
<_ry0suke_> My dad has no nuts
<Deathwinter> Really?
<_ry0suke_> OOPS, I meant my cat
#21265
<Jotarou> Man I masturbate in the shower so much, I'm surprised a baby hasn't crawled out of the bathdrain
#309840
<Swob> there's a species of pea which has peapods that are 6 feet long
<RD> I wouldn't use that as a pickup line
#143212
<AllAgesDave> There are two seniors in here reading a copy of A Catcher in the Rye, and debating the meaning of the word "illiterate."
<AllAgesDave> One is saying it means "literature" and the other says it means "insane".
<Dre> :-[
<AllAgesDave> They just decided upon "language." Fuck my generation.
#58699
MadSkz: i was arguing with my dad last night
MadSkz: and i called him a terrorist (hes muslim)
padawan: lol..what did he do then
MadSkz: threaten me with a box cutter
#92466
<@Davey_Rootbeer> what the FUCK
<@Davey_Rootbeer> i am flipping through channels
<@Davey_Rootbeer> and pokemon is on
<@Davey_Rootbeer> and team rocket is running away from something
<@Davey_Rootbeer> and jessie is saying "next time wwe get a pokemon to defend us in court, it better be a nosepass"
<@Davey_Rootbeer> which is a pokemon that is a giant nose
#3474
<@Catgirl> The three stages of Catgirl hating: #1) "FUCK YOU I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG" #2) "FUCK YOU I BET YOU'RE NOT A GIRL" #3) "FUCK YOU" *ban* PM: "I'd like to fuck you."
#33839
<motolov> i actually have shat in a urinal once
<motolov> when i was 10 we went to germany and the toilets you had to pay for at a rest stop, but the urinals were free of charge, i could not wait to go back to the car for deutchmarks
#10725
urban13eatnik : I wonder. is there a feeling when you see a woman in porno and you're sure that she's someone you know?
BeHeMoTh101 : yes
urban13eatnik : what is it?
BeHeMoTh101 : it's called IKNOWDATBITCH
#29634
[Asking for pictures.]
<Yosh^Yosh> you have to gain my trust for that :P
<Factotum> Fair enough, Yosh.
<Yosh^Yosh> ah, almost XD
<Yosh^Yosh> but i don't like the thought of you underssing me with your eyes :P
<CraiDt> How do we gain your trust Yoshiewoshieboshie
<CraiDt> And we don't do that with our eyes, we have photoshop for that
#28866
<blue09> Eldritch, did you buy the game, or, *cough*
* Eldritch coughs
<blue09> how large? *cough*
<blue09> i mean.. how many.. micro.. bullions.. in your.. (i)soup..
<Eldritch> 166mb *cough*
<blue09> *cough* can i try some of your *cough* (i)soup? *cough*
<blue09> i need it for my *cough* cold *cough*
<Eldritch> sure
<Eldritch> wait for me to set up my soup server *cough*
<blue09> *cough*
<Eldritch> or would you rather dcc?
<Eldritch> er.. I mean instant soup
#34159
<Rjx> so I'm sitting with some friends in college
<Rjx> and drinking some soup
<Rjx> and I say "hey, this soup is thicker than a norwegian"
<Rjx> and I look up
<Rjx> and there's this girl glaring at me
<Rjx> and I think "wait a minute"
<Rjx> so I say
<Rjx> "er du norsk?"
<Rjx> her: ja
<Rjx> oops....
#6363
<JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...
<JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious in his sight.
#526
<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes