Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#41907
<influxsys> yea, gf is all pissed coz i insulted some fatties today
<n3cro> heh
<influxsys> it's ok though. i got my just deserts
<influxsys> we had just left the cinema and we were walking infront of these two huge fat bastards and could hear them talking
<influxsys> one goes to the other. "by gosh it sure is hot today"
<influxsys> i slyly said not thinking they could hear me "that's because you're a fucking fatty"
<influxsys> they totally heard me. one picked me up and squeezed the shit out of me while the other belted into my front organs, as i was quivering on the ground in pain the fattest one ran back and stole my fucking popcorn
#60520
<@Rjx> talking about buying gas in the liter is for pussies
<@Rjx> in the US they measure gas in how many middle eastern countries will need invading
<@Rjx> HEY YEAH PUT A ONE QUARTER IRAQ IN THAT THERE TANK
#122028
[Katami] I was little and my dads friends dog always tried to hump me and he told me to stroke the red rocket to make him stop
[Katami] and I did
[Katami] Then they all laughed at me for ages
[Katami] v.v
[Katami] I'm from alabama
[Katami] Further more, it was a lie
[Katami] That dog would not leave me alone for shit after that
#34305
<Slew> I tried to calculate how many times better firefox was than IE, but my calculator broke
Comment: #ZFGC @ metal.shellux.net
#72748
<insaneidiot> so i have to write a paper for english about why Launcelot likes to run around killing people
<MC> He was beat as a child
<Tar> it's because he yearns desperately for approval
<HunterX11> its the name
<HunterX11> if you name a girl candi, she'll be a stripper
<HunterX11> if you name a boy jeeves, he'll be a butler
<HunterX11> if you name a guy launcelot, he's gonna fucking lance people
Comment: irc.bungie.org #hbo
#43442
<DarkStatix>: Wat are you seen?
<farsideofbryan>: What?
<DarkStatix>: Rigth now wat are you seen in youre mind?
<farsideofbryan>: Very bad english.
<Kotjze>: Took the words right out of my mouth :|
#7463
<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil overexcited
#12227
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain
#53570
reverend: so, I was fired..
reverend: A few weeks ago, I was on qdb and read about this guy getting "assless fursuits" on a Google search.
reverend: .. so I was curious..
reverend: And a week later, my supervisor came up and told me my computer was being monitored at the time, and had a screen capture of a big picture which showed my browser window - "Google Results for 'Assless Fursuits' "
reverend: seems they have standards about this kind of thing.
#7935
(CubsWoo): Hehe... all this talk about failed abortions
(CubsWoo): is making me hungry
#304862
<FuegoFish> Natural Weapon basically has the following options: imitating an Arcane spell, or being a built-in Martial weapon
<FuegoFish> which means that yes you could have gunhands if you wanted
<FuegoFish> or a crossbow for a dick
Comment: #partyhard, irc.synirc.net
#7273
( CraNDaWG ) i just watched like 6 ddr videos and i must say
( CraNDaWG ) that is the _gayest_ bullshit i have ever seen
( Lev ) you know, real men who rustle cows and weld stuff prolly think us playing computer games and giggling at each others gayness on irc is the _gayest_ bullshit
#34579
<joe> http://joe.neoturbine.net:8000/packages < an incomplete log of everything i hav compiled and installed over the yrs
<DimaV> ^ ---- proof that u need to get out to RL more often
#7883
<djrm> Q what is the penalty for exceeding your space quota?
<Alaric> death by pineapple
<djrm> ooo err
#27791
<Dragonaut> ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun dildoman is cumming!
<Krizzz989> remember earlier when you were asking how many beers is to much?
#10510
<quatoria> it was high-larious
<Acheron> wait...you mean you were high at the time and thought it was
funny?
<hep> high "at the time?"
<hep> this implies a state of non-highness at some point
<hep> :>
#8502
<Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat with your friends online!
<Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social misfits
#4585
<[ric]> personally I prefer a nice big vibro up the ass while typing two handed
<gaymale> your coworkers get suspicious if you type good one hand in front of them
<[ric]> yeh.. luckily I have the door wired up to the vibro, that way the motor cuts out as they enter the room
#31264
<KingEdgar0> Woke up 30 minutes later with my left hand on my dick and my right hand on the mouse
#151403
<Bob_work> Well, that was a disturbing message on the AS400
<Bob_work> "System Operator not found."
<Bob_work> I'M RIGHT HERE!!!
<Bob_work> LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!!!
<GeekSoldier> haha.
<GeekSoldier> you've got an existentialist mainframe.
Comment: #If it starts singing "Still Alive", I'm outta here.
#897
<two-c00l> i met eminem yesterday
<rick^MD> eminem is gay, and i hate gays
<two-c00l> eminem is not gay!
<rick^MD> yes he is
<two-c00l> prove it
<rick^MD> ok... i had anal sex with him last week
<two-c00l> um i thought you said you hate gays?
<rick^MD> oh umm... i was just making sure he was gay so i could prove it to you
#36334
<Rjx> perl code is incredibly hard to read
<Moot> Rjx: only if its written well
#40269
E/a: thanks for getting back to me sara
E/a: *tip hat*
sara: hahahah hats are so pre-internet
#17086
<kethepoo> i remember the first time windows said "this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down", and i was worried that they found out about the porn i had looked at
#11169
<klerck> I've been wearing my immortality bracelet for a month, and I haven't died yet