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#38259
<Benbread> What 'version' of linux do you intend to use?
<RyanF> The Latest
#120253
<sloth> i had to wear a USB cable for a belt today because my last pair of shorts broke
Comment: #down efnet
#310167
<TheGreatSparky> Well over the last 100 years we have made such insane medical and technological advancements. I mean, we have X-Rays and ultra sounds, we can replace hearts and reattach limbs, and we can even perform operations on the human brain. How is it that with all that in mind, shoving a finger up a somebody's asshole is STILL the best method to check a prostate?
#42632
<BlackDeth> lazy is: ssh'ing into the desktop 5 feet away, starting up vnc, vnc'ing to it and changing the song rather than getting off the couch
Comment: #ramen
#85791
dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.
#7801
(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car
#304297
<+mu> also, stupid fucking british dating system
<+mu> it's 10/10/10
<+mu> not 10/10/10
<+mu> geeze
<+mu> !
Comment: Posted 10/10/10
#44423
<AI> do you know how to get legal free music?
<AI> call a random helpdesk
<AI> you'll get free music for at least 20 minutes
#34157
<@skape> wonder what a cisco movie would be about
<@trew> "self protecting networks"
<@skape> THE ROUTER STRIKES BACK
<@skape> RETURN OF THE FDDI
<@trew> haha
<@skape> come on trew
<@skape> you think up one!
<@trew> BACK TO THE ROUTER!
<@trew> HONEY I SHRUNK THE IDS
#3237
<Tisha> dialup boy!
<supreemball> at least i dont have problems :)
*** supreemball has quit IRC (Quit: Connection reset by peer)
#31905
<FlintDB> OMG EW
<FlintDB> I just saw my brothers dick )=
<Rampage> And we needed to know this?
<icy_1> what, he turned the light on?
<Krhl> is it bigger than yours?
<CoB> thats a neat trick
<CoB> he must have one of those ass cameras
<FlintDB> god
<FlintDB> my brothers cock is HUGE
<Blue_Sky> wtf
<Rampage> .....yea
*** Ironballs changed topic to [23:33] <FlintDB> im a man fan <FlintDB> my brothers cock is HUGE
<FlintDB> fucking shit
<FlintDB> whole topic is gonna be me posting gay shit
<Ironballs> its not like we're making quotes up
<FlintDB> yer pulling them out of someones ass!
<icy_1> pulling them out of your ass, along with your brothers cock
#52748
<jesterlo1> So back in the day of the modem, when porn was limited to pictures only, I used to go to lots of thumbnail galleries and save the pictures to a folder that I would use a slideshow on afterwards.
<jesterlo1> The great thing about a slideshow is that pressing any key makes it disappear, good for the uninvited guest, know what I mean?
<jesterlo1> Well it turned out that uninvited guest was my father and I was in the middle of a "session" so I quickly press escape and ask him whats up.
<jesterlo1> He looks at me, looks at the screen, I look at the screen, say, "uhhhhhhhhhh", then he mutters something about if there was any email for him and leaves quickly.
<jesterlo1> FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER HAS "SET AS BACKGROUND" NEXT TO "SAVE IMAGE"
<jesterlo1> And said pic was a huge cock spraying all over this girls face.
<jesterlo1> But because of the dimensions of the pic, all you could see was a huge cock spraying as my background.
<jesterlo1> And that my friends, is why I use Firefox.
#297725
<CShadowRun> windows keeps telling me i might be a victim of software counterfeiting :(
<CShadowRun> i don't think of myself as a victim, more of a benificiary
#2908
<DEMI1999> ed's hit an all time high of un-understandability
<DEMI1999> <eDz0ph_gb> d0f eye ,ent n0am
#6308
<GRAYwolf> Because, you KNOW suburban Massachusetts is a key terrorist target.
<GRAYwolf> We've got... Uhm... A bowling alley, out in Cambridge?
<The_Freakazoid> in that case, they'll drop anthrax into your tornadoes.
<GRAY|Myth3> Because if I don't play Myth 3 to completion...then the terrorists...they've already won.
<The_Freakazoid> Yeah, I recently downloaded DW 1-4, because if I die, I want to die having played some great NES games.
#294521
<&qqhax> guys guys
<&qqhax> this is fucking epic right now
<&qqhax> so, my comcast cable box wasn't working
<&qqhax> so i went into the diagnostic menu to play with the frequencies
<&qqhax> and found the menu that lets you enable the dvr even thought i'm not paying for it
<&qqhax> so anyway
<&qqhax> i enable the dvr and reboot the box
<&qqhax> then go to the dvr menu
<&qqhax> comcast gave me a used box
<&qqhax> that has 120gb
<&qqhax> 64% of it is ppv porn.
#303354
<Jilt> what language do gnomes speak o_O
<Jilt> gnomish?
<Captain_Zeros> it gave me common and elvis
<Jilt> you speak in elvis?
<sney> uh-huh, thankyouverymuch
#54037
<Happy_Dot> So my dad and I were reading readers digest, and there was this ad for some apocalypse book. It said "The end is near! Dont delay! This book will tell you everything you need to know! Hurry!" Then, at the bottom of the page, it says : please allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery.
#20062
(note! i know the last one i sent you guys was just a copy of what you already had but this one is halarious)
<draito5> 35
<35man> yeah?
<draito5> last night i she dumped me
<draito5> SHE DUMPED ME MAN!!
<35man> Who? Claire?!
<draito5> yea
<35man> Hey listen, I'm really sorry about that, how you holding up?
<draito5> not good bro i nearly killed myself
<35man> awww come on, it can't be that bad.
<draito5> no seriously!!! i was sitting in the bathroom and i
took my razorblade and i was just shaving when i thought, whats the use
and then i seriously started thinking about it
<35man> wow. holy shit. did you end up doin it?
#32485
<SemenExit> WTFWTF
<SemenExit> I HAVE LOADS OF VIRUSES
<SemenExit> I had NONE 2 days ago
<Maglev> SemenExit: How many times do you use Kazaa a minute?
#14666
[02:17:43] • +wysiwyg sings "your no good for me i dont need nobody, dont need no one thats no good for me"
[+wysiwyg] and if ne1 points out it should be "you're" ill kill em
[@Miz] i'll
+wysiwyg slaps Mr Pedantic with a flacid kipper
[Sarcho] flaccid?
[+wysiwyg] oh fuck off
#1422
*** mindpulp has quit IRC (internet relay lobotomy)
#14303
HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.
#53580
<%DjdeepVibe> do you have "invisible" background?
<%DjdeepVibe> hard to read on black :P
<&Druadan> You should use less cuky colour schemes
<&Druadan> sucky, even
<%DjdeepVibe> i use console-style :)
<%DjdeepVibe> green on black
<%DjdeepVibe> it´s cool, and better for my eyes :)
<&Druadan> That's called the "I wish I was in the Matrix" colour scheme
#54900
<XenoDemon> So it is 3am, and I am sleeping
<XenoDemon> Some girl comes into my dorm room (Door isin't locked, room mate is still on computer)
<XenoDemon> She mumbles something to my room mate who had no idea who she was
<XenoDemon> Sits on my bed, then lays down in my bed (I am still in it), takes my blanket, and starts to go to sleep, then knocks her head against mine.
<XenoDemon> I go "Who the hell are you? What's your name?" "Aisha" "Where do you live?" "Ogg" (Another dorm)
<XenoDemon> "you're in the wrong dorm" "what? no I'm not" "Well um I need to use this bed, go back to Ogg ok?" "Haha... Ok... bye" and then she leaves
<XenoDemon> I know it is easy to get random drunk girls into bed, but that was just ridiculus.