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#14103
<xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
<phunqe> oh? :/
<xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex, but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
<phunqe> Ah, no ping reply?
#302911
<+psypete> sometimes i want to poop
<+psypete> but then i try to go and i can't
<+psypete> and i feel like i've let myself down
<+ashi> It is natural to become attached to something you carry inside you for an extended period of time.
<+ashi> Feeling it grow ... and move.
<+ashi> Still, you have to let go when the time comes.
<+rowboat> thats some shitty advice
#296660
[@Aetos]: so the point of this channel is A) talk to people of similiar interest, B) Make fun of Aetos
#1243
<jinkusu> nd-: you're not lagged
<jinkusu> i'm just typing with one hand
<nd-> ok, 'nuff said
<nd-> enjoy
<[dom]> is the other one hugging mr. wonderful?
<jinkusu> yup
#30648
<MikeH> mike@thor:/usr/local/subway > ./configure --prefix=/root/stomach --sandwich=sweet-onion-chicken-tariyaki --length=footlong --bread=italian-herbs-and-cheese --with-onions --with-lettuce --with-pickles --with-tomatos --with-jalapeno-peppers --with-banana-peppers --with-mustard --with-mayonnaise --with-sweet-onion-sauce
<MikeH> make
<MikeH> make install
Comment: Im...sooo...hungry...
#50220
<Foicite> Nothing brightens your day like Japanese girls gasping and moaning as they laud your sexual prowess.
#53240
<DaFool> i just bought a chip for my car from ebay...i fucking bought like 5 things off the guy and he was supposed to send the chip but jus sent a cd
<LinuxFox> how much did it cost?
<DaFool> it was only 20 bucks with shipping but still wtf he made like 500 bucks off me already
<LinuxFox> people dont understand EBAY ...you send money for a item..and if they dont send it all ebay can do is close down their store or their account and you can leave a negative remark lol NO CONSEQUENSES!
<DaFool> well the only thing i dont get is that on the cd all it is is a video of a guy laughing holding a 20 up close :/
<DaFool> who the fuck would buy that?
<Lemmiwinks> you seriously dont see where this is going?
#309837
<refnum> kish: last time I slept with this girl she put her dogs in the middle of the bed
<refnum> like wtf
<refnum> it was like a clear separation
<ogz> HAHA
<ogz> DOGBLOCKED
#12017
<TheHobo> Has anyone ever downloaded a 24kb program that tries to send your hard drive to a japanese company?
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#5164
<TcShBoY> where is the /etc/passwd located?
#30415
<MeLearnin> Why does _Bunny always tell people he is going to bed?
* MeLearnin brb taking a shit....
#16285
* KnacK is busy studying for his urine test
* Fembot notes Knack failed his last test -- he kept peeking @ the guy beside him.
#48107
<@dma> root@laureate:/etc/ssh# cowsay -f sodomized `fortune`
<@dma> _________________________________________
<@dma> / When confronted by a difficult problem, \
<@dma> | you can solve it more easily by |
<@dma> | reducing it to the question, "How would |
<@dma> \ the Lone Ranger handle this?" /
<@dma> -----------------------------------------
<@dma> \ _
<@dma> \ (_)
<@dma> \ ^__^ / \
<@dma> \ (oo)\_____/_\ \
<@dma> (__)\ ) /
<@dma> ||----w ((
<@dma> || ||>>
<@dma> well that didn't come out like i wanted
Comment: #d&d on ZiRC
#1280
<disgrunt> New "Britney"'s born in the US every year: 1,483.
<disgrunt> New "Dick Tease"'s born in the US every year: 3.
<disgrunt> That's the funniest shit I've ever seen.
<disgrunt> How would you like to be named Dick Tease?
<fade_> haha
<fade_> well, britney sure is a dick tease
<cout> disgrunt: I'd go by "Richard"
#308634
<Pryoidain> NTP Protocol helped me to isolate a plumbing problem in the apartment before the people on site could figure it out.
<asaph> ...what?
<Pryoidain> Well I get this call saying there's a leak in the apartment below me, they need permission to enter to navigate it and solve the problem, so i grant them it. Now I'm swamped, so when things calm down I do the logical thing
<Pryoidain> I checked ishi's NTP Pool Server monitoring page, and pulled up the CSV file to look at epoch times.
<Pryoidain> Last time the server pinged it was like 5 minutes before.
<Pryoidain> From this I knew that the leak could not be from the furnace/ac as that is in the server room (I know I know, but its the coldest room) and if water hit any of the routers or anything or the mains, UPS would have turned off the server.
<Pryoidain> Next I worked back. Can't be in any of the exterior walls, thats where the wires run and the socket for the Main router in the small bedroom is. Server goes through that router.
<Pryoidain> The modem is in the master bedroom, which shares a wall with the bathroom, so I was worried, but if it's still up then no shorts there or anything freaky going on, because, well, NTP responses are still sub millisecond.
<Pryoidain> And finally, It can't be in the kitchen, because for whatever dumbfuck reason the outlets in the kitchen and the server room are the same circuit, and the Garbage disposal outlet is UNDER the pipes and isn't a GFCI (yet) so it would have tripped the breaker killing the server, etc etc.
<Pryoidain> So its the bathroom, internal wall, on the sink or tub.
<Pryoidain> Get home, it was the bathroom sink, leak in the internal wall.
<asaph> ....
<Pryoidain> Yeah, i'm just kinda basking in this right now.
#16283
<jitspoe> when I was little I had a wet dream... dreamed I was taking a pee in the toilet only to wake up and find out it wasn't the toilet I took the pee in...
<Pluto[BHG]> haha thats not a wet dream
<jitspoe> sure it is
<jitspoe> I was all wet :)
#8474
[03:01]<monkey1> at least im not on IRC at 3 AM!
#47292
<sleepwlkr> Oh gosh, I met a really annoying Yankee bitch a moment ago at Rautatientori Square. She and her family were looking for a restaurant where they could get decent meat. First I thought I'd guide them to a good eating place, but that stupid cow complained about everything all the time and specified what the restaurant SHOULDN'T be like, so I told the whole family the way to a gay bar and said "Only the best for the lady".
<sleepwlkr> I just had to go to a pub opposite the gay bar for a beer and see their faces when they come out
<sleepwlkr> Well the bitch was yelling at her husband whose face had turned red with anger. Their kids seemed to be just laughing at the incident :-)
<sleepwlkr> Now I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't bring my camera with me.
Comment: Translated from Finnish to English.
#302711
Mike: this morning i had speech class, there was a talent show for extra credit
Mike: at the end the teacher got up and said he'd like to show us one of his talents
Mike: asked for a couple of volunteers
Mike: "i used to practice ju jitsu..."
Mike: he then proceeded to put a student in a choke hold
#76047
<@flamingspinach> what in the actual fuck
<@flamingspinach> is going on behind me
<@flamingspinach> on my roommate's bed
<@flamingspinach> he seems to be whispering randomly and moving around
<@flamingspinach> and one of his feet is significantly smaller than the other
<@flamingspinach> lol looks like I haven't been paying much attention to the world outside IRC
Comment: #machogang on popn.cjb.net:4400
#28942
<@rzr_grl> wow.
<@rzr_grl> $1500 into the bank
<@rzr_grl> $1449.98 out of the bank
<@rzr_grl> in under 30 min
* rzr_grl sobs
<@jwz> hey, that's profit!
<@jwz> now you let the compound interest do its thing
#49837
<ShoeUnited> Damn this is a slow ass connection.
<ShoeUnited> You know it's bad when you have to decide between downloading 1's and 0's.
#3403
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#21148
<StmChser> anyone here know any good gay pron sites?
<StmChser> er
<StmChser> pay
<StmChser> shi
<StmChser> t