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#52819
<Kodan> god! why is it that 99.9% of every medicine out there HAS to come in cherry?
<Kodan> why the hell not banana, or orange?
<kodan> Cherries SUCK!
<Nick> not the virgin kind ;)
<Kodan> ...that's the most immature thing i've read all week
#10989
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse.
#4500
<vecna> Holy fucking christ, lord and savior, show us your tits, that's a lot of ZSNES ASM code
#40748
<NSA> I hate having sex...
-!- mode/#maddox [+l 94] by Q
<+amcrypt> Why?
<NSA> It's just not fun.
<+amcrypt> ^_________________^
<NSA> OH shit.
<NSA> Wrong window
<NSA> FUCK
<NSA> I thought this was #christian
<NSA> bash that and I will rip your face off
#296994
Kat: You should have clocked how long you can hold it.
A V: well
A V: thats at least 90 minutes
A V: i know it was 90 min because i had fucking leekspin playing on loop
Kat: How disappointing
A V: and it clocked 90 minutes.
A V: yes, we fucked to leekspin.
A V: for 90 minutes
A V: and apparently i did well, because the next day, leekspin was her ringtone
#81440
< ipspoon> so last night i had this weird dream
< ipspoon> that like my friends sister was mad coming on to me
< ipspoon> and like she said I could put it in the back
< ipspoon> so i went over there so to speak, and i was having issue getting it in. like I couldn't find the hole
< ipspoon> next, i did what seemed perfectly logical in the dream
< ipspoon> i reached down and pulled off her penis (?!). It was attached with a little suction cup at the balls end.
< ipspoon> anyhow the anus was on the bottom, a little bit behind the head
< ipspoon> so i pulled it apart with my fingers, put my dick in, and re-attached it to the girl
< ipspoon> then fucked her brains out.
<+\x90> ... what the FUCK
#52648
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof.
#16272
<destruct> 88 N Feb 07 k15176@slo.net ( 51) HOW DO YOUR EMPLOYEES SPEND THEIR DAY!!!!
<destruct> READING SPAM!!!!!
#213469
<Raws> rofl
<Raws> I was just answering some poor guy's question in #java on another network, while I was watching these dateline things
<Raws> And I was talking about the dateline stuff in another channel
<Raws> So in the other channel, we all decide to change our nicks
<Raws> In the middle of me answering his question, this guy just sees
<Raws> *** Raws is now known as onlinepenisguy_464
<Raws> He just left
#4705
*** Hiretsukan has left #verge
*** Hiretsukan has joined #verge
<andy> do the first half of that trick again.
#235969
< topgun17> ion: reop me
< topgun17> or else
-!- mode/#sdf [+o topgun17] by ion
< jakethom> or else what
<@topgun17> I never come back again
-!- mode/#sdf [-o topgun17] by ion
#32227
<gloone> i never lie
<gloone> to males
#26327
<DigDug> deth needs to get in touch with his inner child
<BlackDeth> i tried touching my inner child and he threatened to bring statuatory rape charges against me
#6754
<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today
<Wed> The screen
#10665
HolyViper7: it could be worse :P
Ebyan: It could be better
HolyViper7: everything could be better
Ebyan: everything could be worse
HolyViper7: not oprah
HolyViper7: she cant get any worse.
#12104
<icas0r> somsone do a stats on decoded
<icas0r> i think he a fed =[
<rightie> nah feds only have Netzero for their isp
<rightie> they cut back on funding
#53339
<BigFish> aaah fuck, I'm gonna look like a right prat for the college photos today :(
<ruster> why?
<BigFish> I've got a black eye and a bruise right on my chin
<ruster> wtf, how'd that happen!?
<BigFish> well, I was at the womens kickboxing centre in town, chatting up this girl
<ruster> hehe, the girls there are hot
<BigFish> yeah, but anyway I was talking to her and she said "I'm not some cheap whore", can't remember what I said to get that reaction :S
<BigFish> and I thought to myself "yeah, you're an expensive one"
<ruster> lol
<BigFish> turns out I was thinking aloud... O_x
#4382
<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing, and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing up.
#160532
<+allie> I always let my son stay home whenever he wanted to, so he didn't have to ever try to fake an illness.
<+allie> He loved school. It was always a big social event for him.
<+allie> Whenever I had to go somewhere to pick him up from something, all I ever had to do was look for where the big crowd was because he'd always be in the center of it.
<+wrong> selling drugs?
#30033
<Backslash> So a friend of mind comes over to my house and stays the night
<Backslash> Now there is a computer and t.v. in my room so naturally she spent most of the day in there and since I only have once chair in it she sat on my bed
<Backslash> Well at like 4am she fell asleep on it while I was on the computer and I didn’t have the heart to wake her up so I slept on the couch downstairs
<Backslash> Like a month later I’m over at her house with a bunch of her friends and since there was no where to sleep I slept on the couch again
<Backslash> The next morning during breakfast one of her friends says you look tired
<Backslash> and I was like yeah I didn’t sleep great I’m kinda used to my bed
<Backslash> then my friend goes yeah your bed is awesome!
<Backslash> I froze and glanced over at her parents who gave me the most evil look I have ever seen…
#952
(Mutiny) Atarax: you ate a americum disk from a smoke detector?
(Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
(Mutiny) Atarax: why?
(Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
(Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
(Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn't give me any special powers, but it didn't kill me either
(Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
(Atarax) "why is that fuck still alive"
#15970
*** Now talking in #clubsi.com
*** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man mount"'
*** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12
#17326
<[56]Firestorm_dude_slick> is there anyway to play a 350 mhz game on a 300 mhz processor?
#36221
<_Dim_> w0000t, just got an email with a picture taken by a mobilephone
<_Dim_> the fun part is, it's an image of the test im getting tomorrow :D
#48107
<@dma> root@laureate:/etc/ssh# cowsay -f sodomized `fortune`
<@dma> _________________________________________
<@dma> / When confronted by a difficult problem, \
<@dma> | you can solve it more easily by |
<@dma> | reducing it to the question, "How would |
<@dma> \ the Lone Ranger handle this?" /
<@dma> -----------------------------------------
<@dma> \ _
<@dma> \ (_)
<@dma> \ ^__^ / \
<@dma> \ (oo)\_____/_\ \
<@dma> (__)\ ) /
<@dma> ||----w ((
<@dma> || ||>>
<@dma> well that didn't come out like i wanted
Comment: #d&d on ZiRC