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#44901
[ Rjx ] either the chocolate in my pocket has melted, or this is something altogether more sinister
#301716
S: Cute coworker is cute
Mabbo: Don't you have a boyfriend?
S: I have a boyfriend, not a visual impairment
#61462
(@b) core, do you live in germany or austria
(+core) why do you ask?
(@b) I was wondering if my arm was rubber, how far it would need to stretch to punch you in the face
#9185
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
#43499
< ix> ive never seen a girl who was good at a first person shooter.
< ix> other games ive seen girls be good at, though.
< ix> like friggin sims 2.. my sister manages like 18 sims at once. :O
<@Volsus> like the Sims?
<@Volsus> haha
< ix> shes so good at it.
<@Volsus> how did I know
< ix> cause that's like the only game girls are good at
<@Volsus> My mom got a papercut while playing solitaire on the computer
<@Volsus> I was like wtf
Comment: #maddox
#33811
<motolov> she sure looks like a crazy gal
<motolov> crazy about mcdonalds
#16757
{Sexican} oh I heard some legends about a world where you could get a gf and stuff.
{[12Lurk} its a place where women put out
{SoCK} url?
#28524
<cSk|Sperry> There were 2 people on a boat: /hop and /quit. /hop got off, who's still on the boat?
* nipple_frog has quit IRC
#7831
<Oberon-> So does anyone have any projection on how cheap Pentium III
chips are going to get in the next few weeks?
<TeeCee> Cheep enough to be able to use them for floor tiles. :)
<Oberon-> TeeCee: Wow, cool thought! Massively parallel floor tiles -
a kitchen floor you can count on!
#63011
<mikeash> ok, look, if there's a specific problem that prompted you to come in here
<mikeash> then you should actually *ask about your specific problem*
<mikeash> asking us extreme generalities when you have a specific issue at hand just frustrates people
<mikeash> it's like going up to a construction site, asking all the workers there, "how do I build a house?" and then once they've given you a bunch of advice you reveal that your circular saw is broken and you're wondering how to fix it
#78388
<ed> customer: "i have a pentium 4-R CPU, is that a good CPU?"
<ed> me: 'sir, there's no such thing as a pentium 4-R.'
<ed> customer: "so you mean you don't know about the pentium 4-R."
<ed> me: 'i mean that the pentium 4-R does not exist.'
<ed> customer: "dude, don't try to belittle me, i know more than you. i have one, i know it exists, i just wanted to know if it was a good CPU or not."
<ed> me: 'sir, with all due respect, intel introducing a "pentium-4-r" should have made enough of a splash in the industry for me to notice.'
<ed> finally he gets me to pull out a CPU to show me
<ed> on the chip engraving, it says:
<ed> PENTIUM (R) 4
<ed> he goes: "SEE! PENTIUM 4 R!!!"
<ed> me: ....
#328
<Helpful-> [Akashra] I have a dream: 2199023255552 bytes free.
#43282
eTheRealPulse: you see, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck
laid_back: and masturbates like a horny chick that didn't get any on prom night because she got dumped
laid_back: then it might be my ex
Comment: #windows
#19236
<Yumblie> I'm modest too, that's what makes me so magnificent and stupendous and wonderful
#295687
<Panzerdraco> The only two parties that actually count for shit are Labor and Liberals. Labour is the equivalent of the US's Democratic party except more pro-firearm. Liberal is equivalent of the Republican party.
<CeeKay> hmmm...
<CeeKay> So, your toilets AND your congress flush opposite ways!
<CeeKay> X3
Comment: Panzer being Australian, CeeKay being American.
#7356
<zeitgeist> bobs car is now known as scomobile :)
<lsd> hehehe
<lsd> does that make bob 'scoman'?
<lsd> nananananananana
<lsd> SCOMAN!
<zeitgeist> lol
<lsd> quick scoman! into the scomobole!
<zeitgeist> holy floating point exception errors scoman!
#310650
<Orobas> Â oh. Builder. I did the bird math, I don't know if I told you
<Builder> Â You didn't. However, you seem amazingly eager to share your findings.
<Orobas> Â It gives you an idea of how good I am at math. Because the answer I got was between 80 and 3.8 billion pigeons per second
<Builder> Â It doesn't really give me an idea of how good you are at math.
<Orobas> Â I am content either way
#32121
<pigeon-mirk> if i was davey, my name would be katarina.
<pigeon-mirk> err, not davey
<pigeon-mirk> russian
#305335
-!- sycobuny[telnet] [~sycobuny@cloak.hsd1.md.comcast.net] has joined #malkier
< sycobuny[telnet]> hi
< sycobuny[telnet]> it turns out there are no irc clients installed on larry's machine
< sycobuny[telnet]> typing the raw IRC still works though!
#304729
ned: wifi on the acela is so fucking gay
ned: i cant load gmail
Rabbi-Work: wow ned
Rabbi-Work: maybe you could say it's "ineffective" or "disfunctional" instead of using gay as a pejorative
ned: wifi on the acela is so fucking dysfunctional
BONUS: im ineffective and disfunctional and take offense to people using ineffective and disfunctional as a pejorative
#8713
<arioch> Mario 69: Toadstool Gets Reamed
<fraggle> i'd love to give the princess a good bonin'
<aur__> sorry fraggle, but the princess is in another castle
#311057
<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal
#294629
<@isosceles> im at the pharmacy
<@isosceles> getting sleeping pills for my wife
<@isosceles> and then i realize: i need to get vaseline (for chapped skin/oil pastel) and baby wipes (for makeup removal)
<@isosceles> but then i stopped, after realizing how horrible that would look at the register
#30684
jwz: this mighty hunter is now going to go bring down a wild sandwich
#6962
<SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or gif?
<felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant