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#298435
<misterx> :\
<misterx> <little sister> do you do anything besides download star trek?
<misterx> wtf kinda image does she have of me
#29156
<icorislicoris> does anyone else have this problem where if you open your mouth too wide while you yawn your jaw unhinges and gets stuck?
<icorislicoris> it's really painful :(
<octothorpe> no, but can i fuck your mouth?
#4376
<Petr> I was at work and I drove by a group of Amish people in an electric cart full of computer equipment. I've never been given such an evil eye by so many people at once before.
#302263
hulasikali.wala: k time to try flashing the zaurus
ressedue: arent you supposed to be on a honeymoon? :p
#7845
.... I love the way Microsoft follows standards. In much the same manner
that fish follow migrating caribou.
-- Paul Tomblin, alt.sysadmin.recovery
#30631
<Lippizanr> i'd be a lesbian if i didn't like penises so much.
#59559
<@kingrayray> i just vacuum sealed 1lb of tobacco into a brick
<@kingrayray> hahahaha
<@kingrayray> i want to kill someone with it
<@kingrayray> and then be like TOBACCO KILLS
#4696
<DML> Heh... my sister just IM'd me. My sister is cool and shit. I wish I could be eclectic, funky, and well-adjusted
<Drusilla> we do too, Dan.
<tieboy> well, 0 out of 3 ain't bad
#6794
<shawn> refurbished is when something is defective and the manufacturer finds it to be a simple repair and then resells them to cheap bastards like myself
#15721
<dpk> hehe.. looking for domain names. i wrote a program which reads
www.news.com and www.zdnet.com and similar crap sites and puts together
random consonant/vowel combinations based on it.
<dpk> it's pretty lame ;)
<Xney> dpk has too much free time
<dpk> eeigoua.com avail
<dpk> eeigoua.net avail
<dpk> eeigouanet.com avail
<dpk> get it while its hot
#33839
<motolov> i actually have shat in a urinal once
<motolov> when i was 10 we went to germany and the toilets you had to pay for at a rest stop, but the urinals were free of charge, i could not wait to go back to the car for deutchmarks
#4424
<amoeba> it's a little known fact that the binary releases aren't actually compiled by anyone, they just mysteriously appear on the FTP site packaged and ready for release.. it's postulated that the Devil himself uses Mozilla, and in return for using it he takes care of the insane build requirements
#32794
<mek> I was cutting open a gingko biloba gel cap
<mek> and it exploded
<mek> got some up my nose
<Rykan> HAHAHA
<Rykan> I mean, oh sorry to hear that
Comment: #MxO
#53147
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so...do you think i can get in trouble for this scheme:
<Fool|NO-HTTP> i can cancel pick 3 and pick 4 tickets
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and if i sell a $2 ticket there is a chance to instantly win $10
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so i can buy a bunch, and cancel all the non instant winners
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and make $8 per
<s4f3_m0d3> say hello to federal prison for me
<Fool|NO-HTTP> not federal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> it is a state lottery
<s4f3_m0d3> so state prison then
<Fool|NO-HTTP> if i messed with multistate lottery i may get federal issues
<Fool|NO-HTTP> but i fail to see what is illegal about it
<Fool|NO-HTTP> they just left a HUGE loophole
<Fool|NO-HTTP> buying tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> canceling tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> afk, cops are here
<s4f3_m0d3> afk for the next five to ten?
#33414
<TehFattyLove> Oh dear god..
<TehFattyLove> NOOO!
<TehFattyLove> Fucking eh
<infinitevalence> ??
<infinitevalence> you ok
<TehFattyLove> A fly was flying around.. It was on the other side of the room and was coming at me
<TehFattyLove> I saw it.. like in slow mo.. then it like hit my face.. so naturaly I tried to get away..
<TehFattyLove> but was sitting down.. so instead of dodging it..
<TehFattyLove> I flippe backwards out of my chair.. and crashed my head on the ground
<TehFattyLove> When I got up I felt somethign wet on my head and I was like "FUCK!" thinking I busted my head open..
<TehFattyLove> But I reach back tehre and the fucker was crushed in my hair
<TehFattyLove> It was awesome.
#7476
* rax humps Arwen`
<Arwen`> rax: down boy!
* rax humps lower
#3864
<ScumDog> I think the coathangers might have something to do with all those, ahem, "random" miscarriages
<shin_k> scum : THAT'S JUST STRAWBERRY JAM ON THE COAT HANGER, REALLY!
#300849
<MunInFull> So I've got an mp3 of Biggie's Mesmerize as my ringtone? I was at a bodega buying tamales this morning, it went off, and this little cholo thug just started dancing in line, told me to keep that bitch waiting because this was a good song. Afterwards, we fistbumped. I felt ethnic.
#56157
(+tfg) I wonder how far my punto could tow a caravan
(gez) nowhere without being illegal, otherwise anywhere downhill
(+tfg) how would it be illegal?
(gez) your licence wont cover it
(+tfg) wrong
(+tfg) as long as it's under 3 tonne I'm sorted
(gez) you sure?
(+tfg) I can drive a car + trailer up to a combined mass of 3500KG
(gez) who the fuck tows anything over 3 tons?
(Jani) aeroplanes weigh over 3 tonnes
(gez) true
(gez) i must remember not to tow mine to school tomorrow
(Jani) gonna fly it instead?
#18236
<Sniperwolf> Im intending to whip you with meh cat5 if you dont shut up!
#1967
<JDigital> It's official: Nostradamus was a stoner.
<JDigital> His name wasn't even Nostradamus. It was Michel du Nostredame
<JDigital> Nostradamus was just his IRC nick
#3974
[OutLore ] horray! my crossover cable worked! putting ends on is easy....
[madwoota ] if you have a crimper :P
[OutLore ] took me 45 for the first one, 5 for the second.. :)
[madwoota ] cat5 ends take < 10 seconds
[OpsuPup ] but you're l33t woota
[OpsuPup ] how could OutLore possibly hope to compete with you?
[madwoota ] i know, it's tough, but someone has to be this good
#38474
<seph429> i have to hide IRC from my mom
<seph429> but my weed and alcohol is sitting on my desk
<seph429> WTF?
#29104
<wfg> at one place I worked, someone had an "rm -fr" in a build script for their software development team...the makefile was set up wrong so that it would start in / and do the rm -fr...and it traversed /net, which was the automounter directory.
<wfg> Blew away 40 servers before the build guy thought to wonder why his make was taking six hours.
#29906
<ZyKl0n> my uncle died on saturday
<ZyKl0n> :(
<ZyKl0n> I don't understand it... he was 43
<ZyKl0n> I hope I don't die when I'm 43
<j0sh> sux to be himi
<j0sh> did he die on the toilet
<j0sh> ?
<ZyKl0n> no... dropped dead walking up a driveway to an auction
<ZyKl0n> just keeled over
<j0sh> ROFL
<j0sh> did u take pics
<j0tun> OMG
<j0tun> what kinda question is that?