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#8590
<mrempire> humm
<mrempire> -7% burning an iso here
<mathew2> now we know why you work for PC World.
#3581
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err .. inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse, I'll be eating it carefully monitored.
#25124
<maddox> You know what I hate? Programs that pretend like they're sentient beings. Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type "bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let you do that." Yeah? Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.
#62761
Xop: Hey, I'm smooth when I want to be.
Xop: Fuck, I just cut myself.
#6096
<#seattle/sisSoul> navy guys are fat ugly and squatty
<#seattle/yoplait> girls just like the title 'able seaman'
#50821
<Pashoshon> Hey, do you know when n00b hunting days are?
<Lukian> When?
<Pashoshon> Any day ending with 'y'.
<Lukian> Well, then forget about tomorrow.
<Pashoshon> At least we've got today! :P
#8309
<Xunil96> because i have a metric ass-ton of perl to write
<Dr_V> would a metric ass have 10 cheeks?
#60621
<Knightmare> Well that was obvious.
<Tuborg> ?
<Knightmare> Guy in a cubicle a couple feet away from me stands up and asks aloud if anyone has a Starcraft CD Key.
<Tuborg> Heh.
<Tuborg> I'm guessing he got a good talking to by your manager?
<Knightmare> The floor supervisor told him where to download a no-cd crack.
<Tuborg> Can I fax you my resume?
#919
<CanuckGod> I make my mustaches from eD's pubes
<HiroHiro> eD finally got pubes?
#76605
<@big_al> .
<Loki1> good point
#29436
<ryano> grape juice + vodka > red wine
#36156
<@ICY> ANY NEWS YOU FECKERS?
<@cepe> IM ANNOYED
<@cepe> ISP SI MUCH FAG
<@ICY> CLEARLEY
<@ICY> I HAVE SPENT ALL DAY ANSWERING EMAILS FROM PEOPLE WHO ONLY WRITE TECH SUPPORT QUESTIONS ABOUT PALMS LIKE THIS THE FUCKERS
<@cepe> 'NEAT'
<@ICY> I wish I could reply "Turn the fucking caps lock off you cock,you'r scum,the scum of the world,your giving me a headache and I dont really want to help you now"
<@ICY> cept I have to reply "Thank you for contacting PalmOne Technical Support..." etc
<@ICY> fs
#38958
<@TsN|Jake> would anyone be so kind as to call my phone and help me figure out where the hell it is?
<@Jedi|w> haha
<@TsN|Jake> I'm not kidding
#56727
<Whitetail> I wonder if the pope masturbates
<Haelo> WhiteTail: It's not called masturbation.
<Haelo> Whitetail: It's called 'self-blessing'
#11700
<astroboy> I asked a japanese exchange student what kind of american TV he likes in japan.
<astroboy> he said full house.
<astroboy> I fear japan.
#311122
<Kit> Is anyone around who has my nude pics who can forward them to someone?
#30393
<@kellyjo> old macdonald had a farm
<@SalvadorChicka> e i e i o
<@kellyjo> and on that farm there was a lobster
<@SalvadorChicka> e i e i o
<@kellyjo> with an <insert lobster noise> here
<@SalvadorChicka> haha
#55559
MrMoog_772: mr pibb is just a lower-quality version of dr pepper
Glowsun: of course it is... dude doesn't have his degree yet
#30598
<iczer> oh man, this quest to get my chocobo license sucks
<iczer> have to try to feed a chocobo every ingame day 6 times - and one day in ffxi is one hour in real life
<ChrisDKK> iczer, NERD!
* ChrisDKK goes back to playing FFTA
<iczer> but it will be worth it! i can then ride chocobos!
<ChrisDKK> iczer, I have I have to feed your mom for 6 days...
<iczer> what is the reward?
<iczer> ......... oh god.........
<ChrisDKK> haha
#8248
<EK> What if the war in Afghanistan was fought with midgets!
<Jei> With midgets as infantry, or as ammunition?
#1158
<maff> 84 of 127 emails...
<|Chris> god damn
<|Chris> aren't you popular
<maff> spamular
#250885
<Tomm> ... I am speechless.
<Tomm> I was randomly watching Youtube stuff when I saw a link to Never Gonna Give You Up
<Tomm> And I thought to myself... "Hey, that's a cool song, and I haven't heard it in a while"
<Tomm> So I clicked it
<Tomm> ...Chocolate Rain.
<Tomm> I JUST GOT FUCKING REVERSE RICKROLLED.
#39504
<THX> i love this one. i told my friend when he went to jury duty, no matter what the case was, tell them he couldnt serve cause the defendant committed the same crime against him.
<THX> he got assigned a rape case.
#35474
<+fleet> morning
<+ke1th> morning honey.
<+fleet> aww sweetie, its been ages since you said that
<+ke1th> for this convo to go on anymore.. we'd just sound really gay.
<+fleet> well, according to some other deviants, they're already under the impression I am gay
<+dxd> fleets not gay? :o
<+fleet> yes, unfortunately, I am as straight as a ruler
<+dxd> :<
<+ke1th> one of those plastic ones that bend?
<+fleet> all the way round baby
#74752
<Swisho> sometimes when i see handicapped people with their hands in a really awkward position
<Swisho> it helps to think of them like they were holding a guitar
<Swisho> rocking the fuck out