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#70718
<ZoFreX> I'm actually considering fucking some fat chick I know
<ZoFreX> just cos she's up for it
<TheRandom> ZoFreX if you do
<TheRandom> i wont talk to you again
<ZoFreX> awesome.
<Ecom> hell for that, even I would do her
<FireFalcon> I'd fuck a fat chick if TR would commit suicide.
<FireFalcon> Hell, I'd fuck Zo if TR kills himself.
<ZoFreX> special 2 for 1 deal, I'd kill myself too
#21378
<RocketFodder> that is the worst porn ever
<RocketFodder> that said, i'll..uh...bbl...
#306588
<@Malice> I found my friend Crista crying in the bathroom at work today.
<@Malice> I asked her what was wrong and she told me one of the new guys told her that he bets she sucks in bed.
<@Malice> Then she told me she was crying because she felt like a whore because it festered in her mind so long she wants to sleep with him just to prove him wrong.
<+ark0n> i think i just found my new pickup line
#16802
<NobleKale> old friend emails me with 'I have two special consideration exams next week. what do I study for them?'
<NobleKale> my reply: 'RTFM'
#311245
<nacht> I sold body armor in a rite aid parking lot yesterday.
<Naraka> I love everything about that.
<nacht> Ohio ftw
<nacht> Are you a felon? No? Here buy this AK and 2000 rounds out of my trunk.
#15593
? jimmy/#hadm ----- jimmy's work productivity rating as of 2:21PM --------
? jimmy/#hadm 0% | --------------------------- | 100%
? jimmy/#hadm *- 0.01% (checked email)
#173329
<Trinexx> There. I have allocated two weeks' worth of vacation time, starting on September 7th.
<Apollo> September 7th? You're going on vacation the DAY that Spore comes out? wtf dude
<Trinexx> Exactly.
<Apollo> oh
<Apollo> OH!
<Apollo> Fuck, I gotta do the same D:
#120241
<@wormwood> you also put things in your butt
<@strtok> i don't put things in my butt
<@strtok> people put their things in my butt
<@strtok> big difference
Comment: #down efnet
#8218
<DotSPF> just got myself a shitload more lesbo porn
<killck> good?
<DotSPF> damn they have so much more fun when we're not around
#301226
<crschmidt> twitter is terrible
<crschmidt> but i use it as well
<crschmidt> i, in fact, twitterd from the altar, when I got married
<crschmidt> and 6 phones in the audience went off
#12065
*** Mank_Sleep is now known as Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO
*** Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO is now known as Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT
*** Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT is now known as Mank_PORNO
#33036
<@brassica> hehe my penis slowly rolling off my desk and when it falls off its going to hit my cat
<@brassica> err pen is
#33738
<interface|work> I need a marriageautopilot.exe program with an /unattend switch
<[G4]CowBook> marriage.exe /q/y
<[G4]CowBook> heh
<interface|work> lol
<[G4]CowBook> or in unix:
<[G4]CowBook> ./marriage > /dev/null 2>&1
<interface|work> rofl
<[G4]CowBook> i'd just set up a cron job for it actually
<[G4]CowBook> :P
<interface|work> to run daily?
<]CkB[Janus> lol
<[G4]CowBook> doesn't matter to me, as long as it's redirected to /dev/null
<[G4]CowBook> it can run every minute as far as i care
Comment: #ckb, irc.gamesurge.net
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#14441
*** Meeko has joined #Animorphs
<Meeko> ennnik!
<Meeko> I've been pantsed while commando!
<Meeko> "What an interesting turn of events." "THEY'RE FLESH COLORED UNDERWEAR." "God, I wish."
<Meeko> So now I'm holed up inside for the rest of today, nurturing my wounded pride.
#6876
<Spectra> hrm. Optus are going to start charging me >= $10 more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay more for your service".
#35233
<J3anyus> sweet jesus i need to get motivated to finish up this semester. there's only 3 weeks left and i just can't get the motivation to go to class or do homework or anything :(
<GeechyAFK> Con someone into giving you a blowjob for every passing grade you receive
<J3anyus> brb, calling mom
#2053
<Gwar> u might as well be holding your penis if you're using a joystick in quake
#14331
[Lyme] My granpa is seriously nuts. When my parents went to visit him for his 60th anniversary thingie, he wore 1 dangly woman's earing and a gilligan hat.
#33217
<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"
<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.
<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
<ctone> ...
<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.
#33640
<tharaka> u know whats stupid about phones
<tharaka> they are on low batt right
<tharaka> and yet what do they do?
<tharaka> make a nose, which uses up more battery
<tharaka> and flash lights
<tharaka> and use up more battery
<tharaka> its almost like microsoft windows popups.. "LOOK AT ME!!!!, LOOK AT ME!!!"
Comment: tharaka's phone battery was dying
#303993
<Octopussy> i need to do something about this irc font
<&Shark> make it comic sans
<Octopussy> it looks all weirdy without fixed width
<Octopussy> yes, i should try comic sans first
<Octopussy> now everyone looks like an idiot
<Octopussy> i'll keep comic sans for a while
#27958
<Gravity->: www.realdoll.com (NWS) i mean.. these guys put WAY to much scientific work into this.. i'm fooled just by squinting a bit.
<Magus`>: I've always wondered... if someone bought a realdoll...then happened to get a real girlfriend... how the hell would they explain that?
<Dire_Wolf>: Explain what... explain the realdoll to the girlfriend, or explain how they managed to get a girlfriend?
<Magus`>: ...i guess either
#16237
<MadHack-> i net 4200
<MadHack-> whereas i gross 6,666.66
<MadHack-> give or take
<MadHack-> quite the beastly salary
<MadHack-> 666 666 :(
<MadHack-> well, .67 i guess, technically
* MadHack- saves his soul through rounding
#31562
<wildboar> http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/spirit.html
<Wish> no colour pictures? :(
<wildboar> they can't be in color or you would realize this is actually somewhere in Nevada