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#301149
<+endemDan> i need to find a new job, where customers are not so retarded
<@Gusterbuster> Someone call you and say 'Can you hear me now?'
<+endemDan> no i have had that happen before, but this is even worse
<+endemDan> a customer calls in support from their cell and says she cant find the function she wants to take a pic with
<+endemDan> so i get her phone model blah blah blah, then ask what exactly shes trying to do
<+endemDan> she says 'i see pictures of people where they are holding their phone and are in the picture themselves, how do i take a picture of myself and my phone if the camera does not come off the phone'
<+endemDan> she continues with 'also how are they getting a picture of themselves from the front if i can see the flash?, like the camera is facing away from them during the picture. how do i do that?'
<+endemDan> i couldnt even respond or laugh, i was just in complete awe that someone was actually serious about this question
<+endemDan> then i asked her if she has ever looked at herself in the mirror, and freaks out thinking i just called her ugly or some shit and demands to speak to my manager
<+endemDan> so i put her on hold, get him over and tell him the story and he doesnt believe me and gets on the phone and has her repeat everything she said and then asks her about the complaint against me
<+endemDan> he asks her the same exact thing (it has been about 10 minutes since the call started) and then, then she finally gets it and understands that taking a picture in a mirror is how the people do it
<+endemDan> i dont understand how people like that function in life
<@Gusterbuster> Yea. However you get to sit on your ass all day and answer a phone
Comment: endemDan works at verizon
#781
<D1> mp3[01 - s~1] [1m47s/1.23mb/96kbps]
<D1> arg
<D1> i need one of those mp3 name thingies
#87845
<Fravec> Can i see you on the webcam?
<Jamie> no. I got to do my hair and stuff
<Fravec> you dont have to
<Jamie> I dooo :)
<Fravec> I wont look at your face anywayz
#32542
<vsync> anyone have phone# for ogw-iii ?
<ogw-iii> yeah I think I might
#33060
* penut has joined #unbound
* ChanServ sets mode: +o penut
<Recon> wb penut
* Mayseth licks penut
* Dweller refrains from calling mayseth a nutlicker
<Recon> LOL
<Mayseth> I!
<Mayseth> HATE!
<Mayseth> YOU!
#12861
<Jammer> Bad things happen in threes, don't they?
<Fake_Plastic_Tree> like Hanson.
#30616
<phr0work> using linux is like using windows, except every time you try to do something like install a program or a driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in and kicks you in the side of the head
#3403
* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /
#5072
<jonathans> i wonder if all women think like that
<reubenf> not all women think
#50466
<Shifter> fucking stupid bitch cunt whore skank peice of shit driver
<Shifter> some stupid bitch somes down my street, not realizing its a dead end
<Shifter> shes driving a fucking ford earth destroyer 2007
<Shifter> she goes to make a 3 point turn, realizes she cant without going over the curb
<Shifter> she just decides to drive up on my fucking yard and tear up my fucking grass
<Shifter> when she saw me on the front porch smoking a cig, she gave me one of those bitchy shrugs, and drove off.
<Shifter> god damnit i hate people.
#2168
<Miko> hey i don't remember them dropping food on NYC when they crashed into the WTC
#33277
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet
Comment: #fark
#38623
<Nyschashi-Seikun> i ate at black anus, there meat is so shitty
<Nyschashi-Seikun> *angus
Comment: #stickcat@ irc.stickserv.net
#1659
<ix> man that offer for cash perked you right up
<vermifuge> i didnt even get to the most appealing part
<vermifuge> there will be a bucket of fried chicken here for your consumption
<goatb0y> well that fucking settles it
<goatb0y> any collared greens by chance?
<vermifuge> dude there could be
#305335
-!- sycobuny[telnet] [~sycobuny@cloak.hsd1.md.comcast.net] has joined #malkier
< sycobuny[telnet]> hi
< sycobuny[telnet]> it turns out there are no irc clients installed on larry's machine
< sycobuny[telnet]> typing the raw IRC still works though!
#6259
<KaMeN> I just realized the only reason I would go to narcotics anonymous would be to get hookups for drugs
#92959
<matt> i had chinese food last night
<matt> it wasn't that good
<matt> so then i go to the bathroom this morning
<matt> and, after a less-than-pleasant experience
<matt> the toilet overflows when i flush.
<matt> so, my first thought is "oh SHIT"
<matt> then my second thought is "heh, yeah, shit, like literally too"
<matt> but then my third thought:
<matt> java.lang.ToiletOverflowError;
<matt> yeah
<matt> i hated myself too
#30500
<freefour> i once had naughty-businesses so much with her that i made her faint. now THAT is 1337.
<plasmo> i alt tabbed for a sec
<freefour> heh
<plasmo> haha, wtf, that IS leet
<freefour> it was scary
<freefour> seriously
<freefour> it wasn't 1337 at all
<plasmo> did you get a momentary sensation of necrophilia?
<freefour> yes!
<plasmo> did you keep going? or did you stop and slap her?
#28824
<Thom> I'm British. In history classes over here to study world war two someone holds up a picture of Churchill and we masturbate in silence for forty minutes.
#6056
<Guyver3> koolaid time
<Guyver3> what today
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi lemonade
<Guyver3> mountain berry blast
<Guyver3> or blood of the preacher's daughter?
<kingmob> the blood one. definitely.
#301998
<Sohcahtoa> Why are you so obsessed with the size of my penis?
<Sohcahtoa> Do you really want to know how big it is? Fine I'll tell you.
* Quits: Sohcahtoa (Excess Flood)
#300741
<adimarco> it amuses me that, even when eating treats, cats just instinctively know to rapidly shake their head back and forth a few times to make sure the spine is broken.
<zinger> i do the same with donuts
#11606
<DeathRay> My car can fly thanks to the power of lies!
#7630
<XxChesterxX> who here uses a dildough
<Solidus> only when i'm making some dilbread
#7461
<Poltergeist21>I want to fuck the olsen twins right in the ass!!
<Poltergeist21>Dude, my balls goin smack smack smack against their teen asses..yum yum!1
<Charlesowns>Dude, i said that ten years ago!