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#6453
<O_6> my helpful nature gets me into many a snag
<MadMan37> so does your weakness for pic-a-nic baskets
#8359
<Tantalus|RO> No one can resist hot monkey sex
<Tovart> Except hot monkey females with a headache.
#51285
<Retro> THE MIRACLE OF CELL DIVISION
<Retro> o
<Retro> 0
<Retro> 8
<Retro> oo
#10862
<Danelope> This contract doesn't involve sodomy, does it?
<harb> actually
<harb> damnit
#118709
<ChuckD> i see Tab in movies alot
<ChuckD> i demand an explination
<ChuckD> i dont see tab anywhere
<Towwb> Tab went to the same place as No Fear and sneakers with lights in them
<Towwb> MC Hammer's there too, not being touched
#29463
<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET ADDRESS
#44145
<Maurs> Got my first detention ever today :(
<Maurs> You know I go to a catholic school...
<Maurs> well we were discussing that new pope
<Maurs> Long story short, catholics don't like you goosestepping through the halls yelling "ICH BIN DER POPEN"
#80041
[xexyz] Help me dave. I have a 17 year old girl chasing me.
[davek] Congrats, xex
[xexyz] :p Need a little more help than that
[xexyz] Wait.. 17 is legal here in Texas..
<xexyz goes AFK>
#886
<osx> I programmed my sidewinder for IRC combat.
<osx> A for Awp, B for Ban, and C for Kick.
<osx> So watch out..
#31969
<edisk> wtf
<edisk> webmd says not to use topical salicylic acid on unborn babies
<edisk> Now, how you're gonna wipe down a fetus with an oxy pad I don't know
Comment: irc.nerdtopia.org #lobby
#32121
<pigeon-mirk> if i was davey, my name would be katarina.
<pigeon-mirk> err, not davey
<pigeon-mirk> russian
#25659
<tito> my boss has the lisp thing going on
<tito> but nobody is sure if he's gay or not :|
<hardlined> lithps are cool.
<hardlined> they thound thuper.
<DaggerIRC> grab his ass, ull figure it out by his facial reaction
<DaggerIRC> or erectile..
<hardlined> Mental note, learn from Dagger's mistakes.
#64565
<@psych0sys> i told my old boss once i wanted to fuck a pregnant bitch so i could say i had a threesome
<@psych0sys> she freaked out
<@psych0sys> what a fucking bitch
#10084
<X> come cover the desk so i can pizza, darrell :)
<Zero> I need to wait for the landlord's dwarves to arrive and forge a new thermostat
#55095
<mroach> if you use the Hebrew locale, do progress bars go right to left?
#297426
<Errdoth> Guess what I have that you don't.
<ichai> virginity?
<Errdoth> :(
#6803
<drdink> what are c31487-a and cc31487-a?
<drwiii> they are numbers, accompanied by letters and dashes.
#33982
<J_B_007> if it wernt for bash, id be able to wrok.
<J_B_007> *work
<Neon[UK]> did bash cripple you in some industrial accident?
Comment: #geekissues
#56644
hehehe8383: school was pretty fun for me cus of the teachers =P
hehehe8383: like i remember this one time in like 5th grade or something
hehehe8383: i got a bloody nose in my math class and i had on a white shirt to boot
hehehe8383: so i went to the nurse for like 10 min. while i was sittin in the nurses office, the period was over so my class left and another class came in
hehehe8383: but i still had my books there so i had to go back in
hehehe8383: so i walk into the classroom with blood stains on my shirt and holding a blood spotted tissue up to my nose
hehehe8383: so the teacher pointed at me and she goes "see what i do to kids who dont do their homework?"
hehehe8383: i swear to you, this kid next to me had a MORTIFIED look on his face as he started scribbling stuff down on some incomplete worksheet =P
#14826
<^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
<^Matt^> :/
<Windogg> doh
<^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
<^Matt^> like this was the one
<^Matt^> :)
<Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the one" I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started sweating, and I got all weak
<Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers
#303989
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point.
#52723
<Ripzone> What do women & condoms have in common?
<Ripzone> They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
<Yomama> i dont get it ???
<Ripzone> ...
<Yomama> is it because of aids?
#3557
<mightyflo> and "what technologies do you like working with best?"
<mightyflo> that's an odd question
<redbatszu> dusteating nanobots?
<mightyflo> i should hook those up to the x10 remote
<mightyflo> i could clean the house from my chair
#32959
<Vinny> Too tight?? You can land a f***ing jumbo jet in there.
#13745
<Bone Man> anyone know how to setup a streming thingie for a webcam
<RonWeasley> www.surveyorcorp.com get webcam32 and go crazy
<InsomniFox> bone- have you got a bible handy?
<Mort-Hog> Yes. The Bible tells you how to set up your webcam.