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#299404
<RadRac> what is wrong with my life!
<RadRac> My boyfriend found my bra in the bag he brought to football practice
<RadRac> and the coach of the varsity is now wearing it as a hat
#49354
<BriBroder> Wang International Inc. Recalls Wooden Christmas Toys Due To Choking Hazard
#39944
<Teromen> ekmf: irc taught me the correct use of : and made my ged score higher :D
#37081
<Sebbe> When I was 19 I somehow wound up dating a 23-year-old (which was awesome at the time). She had a one-year-old daughter, but the fact that I was nailing an older woman 4 or 5 times a week overshadowed any problems I had with dating someone with a kid.
<Sebbe> One night we were going at it pretty heavy when her daughter discovered how to get over the baby gate. We never heard her sneak down the hall and into the bedroom. We also never heard her go into her mothers nightstand and pull out an 8 inch red rubber dildo. I look over and see this girl standing there with smile on her face and the dildo raised high over her head. Realizing what was about to happen I started to say something, but it was too late...
<Sebbe> *THWACK*
<Sebbe> She brought it down hard on my face, me barely comprehending what the hell was going on. I managed to get it away from her and her mother took her back to her room, but the mood was long dead. The relationship didn't last too long after that
#53253
<Hoolibear:> What woman do you know that can shake her tits, ass, and cock at you all at once?
#16438
<^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
<^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
<^bat-sai> when i was 13
<^bat-sai> i was mocked
<^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were there to play baseball on the snes
#8496
[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
#303421
<boikpark> The guy was found dead in his apartment with his penis in a jar of peanut butter, apparently.
<Sohcahtoa> Well it sounds like that guy...
* Sohcahtoa puts on his sunglasses
<Sohcahtoa> ...was fucking nuts.
<Sohcahtoa> YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH
#45431
<Aven> A simple Google search of "My Unit" is good for many laughs.
<Aven> "What do I do if I cannot find my unit?"
<Aven> "My unit broke twice in a year!"
<Aven> "My unit is deploying."
<Aven> "Why is my unit "louder" than an identical model in a friend’s house?"
<Aven> "My unit is making a humming noise. Could it be the compressor?"
<Aven> "My unit is working fine; do I really need to stop using it?"
<Aven> "I suspect that my unit became overheated and now will not run."
<Aven> "Will my unit work in bad weather?"
<Aven> "This is not the exterior of my unit, but it is part of the same development."
<Aven> "What happens if I designate my Unit as public/private?"
#300258
< fahadsadah> Something tells me exec("echo C code goes here | gcc"); isn't a good Java practise.
#53484
<Paco> I got my friend kicked off X-Box Live because I made a 69 Camaro SS with a Swastika on the hood (How was I to know SS stood for Supersport and not Schutzstaffel?) and I'd just join races with predominately French guys and go the wrong way on the track and wreck them
<Paco> Well, I tried to play nice
<Paco> I didn't make the Nazi Death Car until some French dude called me a faggot
<Paco> I had to unplug the headseat while I was driving the wrong way down the track, 7 angry French guys all screaming at the same time is too much
#261519
<greenocide> Had to give report over censorship today.
<greenocide> So I put in a pr0n vid and they made me turn it off.
#10688
<_astrOdz> you know if you shoplift , you dont pay tax
#303649
<Camille> I love my new job
<+ericc> where d'you work?
<Camille> it's a small coffee shop. doesn't pay much, but nearly everyone there is a gamer or irc'er.
<+ericc> nice
<Camille> yeah, we got busy around 1pm and it was loud cos of people chatting
<Camille> so one of the guys there shouted out "now I know how those marines feel when I hit them with a zerg rush"
<+ericc> hahaha awesome
<Camille> the manager heard him and frowned, I thought he was gonna yell at him for talking like that in front of customers
<Camille> and he just replied "man the bunkers and bring out the siege tanks!"
#16251
<aba> i was just in detroit
<jasn> congratulations.
<aba> some black man next to me in his car kept flicking his nose
<aba> i rolled down my window and told him i dont have any cocaine
#32959
<Vinny> Too tight?? You can land a f***ing jumbo jet in there.
#81271
<Syntacs> I just cut my finger with a disposable tupperware container.
<Syntacs> If I'm ever the victim of a home invasion, I guess I'll know what to defend myself with.
<RedBeard> mini velociraptors?
<Syntacs> Right, but failing that, the disposable plastic containers I keep them in.
#7967
(CitizenC): Hey, here's a question for ya.. what if Jesus was gay?
(CitizenC): You know what? I bet he was.
(CitizenC): Walking around in that desert with his apostles forever?
(CitizenC): They didn't have porn back then, which left only two options:
(CitizenC): * Beat off behind a mountain somewhere to memories of Mary, or
(CitizenC): * Say "Yo! Deciples! Suck my cock! I'm the son of God!"
(CitizenC): Personally, I think that second one is much more likely.
#304616
Kitsu: Why would the localization.ltx contain calls to xml files that don't exist?
DekuLink: The xml files probably gave it a fake file path at the party last night.
#8886
<Ven> Fuck
<Ven> This is a long shot, but
<Ven> has anyone seen the pinout for the 4-player connector for the CPS2 arcade system?
<Ven> Oh fuck!
<Ven> I bet it's in my D&D Mystara manual
#297296
helf2: sup
iKitsune: got a handjob from a midget in boaz today
helf2: wait, what
iKitsune: I got a handjob
iKitsune: from a midget
iKitsune: in Boaz
iKitsune: today.
helf2: yeah, thats what i thought you said
iKitsune: Do I need to post pictures?
helf2: no, I'm good.
#302081
Codi: You could always buy a RealDoll. Fuck her when you're horny, she just lays there and doesn't bitch about how you never put the seat down or take out the garbage, and you can just shove her in the closet when you're not stickin' it in her pooper.
Jason: wtf
Jason: I always put the seat down
#49412
Day changed to 09 Oct 2005
<@Pi> eh
Day changed to 10 Oct 2005
<@Pi> hi
Day changed to 11 Oct 2005
<@Pi> hi
Day changed to 12 Oct 2005
<@Pi> HI
Day changed to 13 Oct 2005
<@Pi> HI
Day changed to 14 Oct 2005
<@Pi> HI
Comment: We're very idle.
#53269
<TMH> and now I will try a new combination!
<TMH> pringles
<TMH> and garlic and herb dip
* TMH steps forwards into a new frontier!
<TMH> OH MY GOD IT TASTES AWFUL
<@Jude> A new frontier of disgust?
<TMH> it's like eating solid semen
<@Jude> ... Ew.
<TMH> ... not that I have ever eaten solid semen
<@Jude> I was going to ask
<TMH> hm, I'm actually developing a taste for it
<TMH> oh my god I am developing a taste for what I just described as solid semen
<TMH> I AM CONFUSED
#87607
<+r4v5> so i just learned that hank aaron was black
<+aydiosmio> was?
<+aydiosmio> he's still alive
<+r4v5> i just learned that hank aaron is alive