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#3227
<memo> rgiorew09u34290
<Squizzle> Memo speaks ancient Decepticon!
#37550
<dooky> oh and get a bucket of paint and slop it all over her car
<MSIGuy> Yeah.
<Stonefish> dooky: Glue it on the hood, like a Mack Truck bulldog
<Inept> Crazy glue the dildo onto her hood where the hood ornament should be.
<dooky> gluing the dildo do the windshield was a good idea
Comment: who needs keys when you have a dildo and epoxy
#301667
<Knoeki> My penis runs Linux.
<Knoeki> It has a high uptime, works well under load, but when load gets too high, it dumps it's core and reboots :_D
* iamalion formats Knoeki's penis and installs windows 95
<iamalion> not anymore BUHAHAHA
<Knoeki> iamalion: yeah, but now you can play more games with it ;_)
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
#3283
<JibberJim> Your bios doesn't like your 5 1/4" drive roded?
<roded> vmware doesn't actaully
<Jumper_> yeah, downgrade to the 8" again
* Jumper_ had a dual 8" drive - rocked
<JibberJim> 8" is a downgrade? - man you must be liked by the ladies.
#57847
(Goat25) what is the volume of a pizza of radius z and thickness a ?
(Goat25) answer: pi z z a
#49861
ec0 R 1: i just LOVE spending money
suburbia37: but hopefully you'll be making it back in spades
ec0 R 1: whatever that means... lol
suburbia37: right now i'm picturing people throwing shovels at you
#25094
<ljl> Linux Barbie - comes with a Tux keychain, a set of Distro on CDs, a set of linux stickers for the computer, and be dressed in a linuxy t-shirt and jeans
* val wants Linux Barbie to have recorded messages
<ljl> "lets build a custom kernel"
<val> "Compiling is easy!"
<jennyw> Of course, Linux Barbie would be programmable. But you'd have to figure out how to connect to her over a serial connection without X.
<jennyw> Then there'd be skipper, her little script kiddie sister ...
<ljl> skipper: "I 0wn3d dads Windoze box, and I can print his checks"
#36675
<fatlilbug> If my second cousin is totally hot, is it alright so long as we use protection?
<ZekeMcN> fatlilbug: you're from arkansas, aren't you?
<fatlilbug> kentucky :/
#54654
<hax> my boss just told a client his domain was "taken by korean cyber pirates"
<hax> we were on speaker phone with a client
<hax> and i toally lost it
<hax> then my boss yelled at me for laughing
<hax> and i told him "listen, if you're going to tell me korean cyber pirates pillaged his domain, i'm going to laugh"
<hax> "and try not to do it while i'm drinking a coke next time"
#38342
<n3ur0tich> he called me at 2 in the morning. i thought he was calling to see if i was okay. how strangly considerate, i thought. how nice.
<n3ur0tich> he called to ask if i stole his cheese. five pounds of cheese. yes, i sighed, i stole five pounds of cheese from your apartment. right. because i really needed five fucking pounds of cheese. oh, and i'm fine, thanks.
<n3ur0tich> he called again at 3.
<n3ur0tich> "are you sure you didn't take the cheese?"
#19521
<winmutt> on the brighter side of things the waitress t the bar last nite gave me her phone number... might as well have read "this coupon is good for a free fuck"
#309382
<Zor> what kind of resource would it make sense to find underwater
<gmcabrita> water
#310634
<Zyradyl> So I've started working on an AI just as a side project. I want to re-hone my Common Lisp knowledge. It has been years.
<cjk> what kind of ai
<Zyradyl> conversational, might do more as time permits
<asaph> You do realize, back when you were a dude, and pry, you had a strong stance against conversational AI?
<Zyradyl> Don't worry, I put a noose around my neck whenever I start hacking at it, just in the event that something goes horribly wrong or I realize I'm a fucking moron.
<Lutmus> Zyra: Sounds like you're already an experienced neural network programmer.
#21702
<|_0gre_|> what does one do with 40 gigs?
<Wetzel> Bend over and I'll show you.
#5856
<charon> <danybear:#bearcave> danybear is a six one, 210 lb, hairy leatherbear in Toronto, 50 years old, 6 uncut
<charon> whatever you do, don't join #bearcave asking for warez
<FishBulb_> charon: uncut means 0-day you tard
#62902
<+chels> real human porn weirds me out, i dont wana see other people doin it
Comment: #wpi
#3453
<Jumper> which one are you reading ?
<snot> security experts ( news.com.com )
<Jumper> ah, news.com that redirects to news.com.com for unfatomable reasons
<Jumper> I guess they weren't commy enough
<Jumper> haw haw, get it ?? RED BASTARDS
<snot> they where news.com.com.com before the .com bust, guess they just playing it safe
<Jumper> yeah, they must've hyped down now
#227362
<TheCheat> I'm pissed off! I'm hungry, bored, my gf's knocked up, and bitchy, i'm smoking my last cig, i'm out of wee, my d key doesn't work all the time and my internet sucks cus i have to use a cell phone to get on line, that locks up when ever it feels like it!
<@carnt> TheCheat: Hi! It looks like you're blogging on IRC. Would you like to: [Add Comments] [e-Mail this to a Friend] [Digg This!] [Submit to Slashdot] [Add to del.icio.us] [Commit suicide because nobody cares]
#34871
* MoTT sets mode: +v system
<+system> whats up with my leet + thingy
<@MoTT> people with +v are marked for sacrifice
<+system> :(
<+system> shat
#60728
(+Oleander) sometimes I go into gay bars just to turn men down
(+Oleander) to boost my self esteem
#45328
<qviri> Sorry, I guess I'm not 1335 enough.
#309107
<@Oliphaunt> I've been put off the Kindle by richard stallman and other horror stories about amazon fuckery
<@Lorkki> I like the expression "richard stallman and other horror stories"
#1732
<nailhead> Ya, How come there's albinos in all races but theres no ppl that are
the opposeite? like "alblackos" or sumpin?
#311143
<devilmaydry> play pso2 while working
<~Drakkar> ncan't
<~Drakkar> -m
<~Drakkar> +m
<~Drakkar> -n
<~Drakkar> writing
<InfiniteOregano> i like that you made sure to add the m that you took away even though there was no m to begin with
<InfiniteOregano> you can't have negative ms floating about
<InfiniteOregano> breaking reality
#28892
<@demalavor> I finally got to try krispy kreme
<@demalavor> <3
<@demalavor> the lady there scared me though
<@demalavor> I walked in and she jumped out from the corner and was like "FREE SAMPLE YAAAAA!!"