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#18386
<Nate`> i am a l33t script0r
<DaveMan|l33t> you do realize that autorejoin is a checkbox in mirc, right?
<Nate`> its is
<Nate`> damnit all
#4789
<DrWoody> Look I'm writing a letter!
<DrWoody> Dear Internet Explorer:
<DrWoody> I HATE YOU! DIE!!
#37922
(Chexee) DING DONG
(Jazzi) who's there?
(Jazzi) oh wait... that's knock knock.
#176538
Exolent: I'll be back in like 15 minutes, i need to fake going to sleep so i can come back and stay up.
(the next morning)
Exolent: Sorry i didn't come back last night. i fell asleep trying to fake fall asleep.
#41867
<(dank)> so I was hanging at the bar last night, and I see what is possibly the ugliest man I've ever seen sitting close to me
<(dank)> and he's got his hand over his drink, looking around at everyone really suspiciously
<(dank)> I walk over and ask "what the hell are you doing?"
<(dank)> and he says: "someone might slip one o' those date rape drugs into my drink"
#53901
<galisus> I think I realized I'd never touch Linux again when I was like.. "Holy shit I never have to deal with X11 EVER again.."
<galisus> It was like my first blowjob all over again.
<galisus> Good times.
#60255
< larsivi> heh, I talked to this sysadmin once who wondered where all the printers in his network came from ... it turned out his search script started at 10.226.0.69, and ended at .68, making him search the whole internet for unsecured printers ...
< larsivi> the search had taken 21 days ...
Comment: #d @ freenode
#25609
<Drago> hey random, ya want to test something for me?
<random> if its long, tubular, made out of plastic and gently vibrates..... then no. But if its some code.. ok
#300724
<Shey>Hey John,some confused lady called the helpdesk that they've closed the nursery two hours ago or so,and if you are gonna pick up your daughter...
<John>Holy shit!
-!- John has quit
-!- Michael has quit
-!- Nobody has quit
-!- MoneyMaschine has quit
-!- Server has quit
-!- fightbot has quit
-!- Nobody has joined #techsupper
<Nobody>Shey,send us some network guys, John tripped over the switch cable and pulled the socket from the wall.
#24427
<Pornosaur> I remember a girl showing me her boobs in kindergarten
<aeonite> Um
<aeonite> girls in kindergarten don't have boobs.
<Pornosaur> yeah tell me about it
#242611
<@danhm> I like lasagna but hate making it
<@danhm> it's like the antithesis of a baby
#8101
<Paeyl> why did i just have a sudden image of a penis with tentacles at the tip
<alayna> cthulhuitis
<Paeyl> is there an antibiotic for that?
<Paeyl> "doc, i have a problem." "what?" "it's my.. penis.. it .. " "yes?" "it can.. write its own name."
<geo> That's not a problem, son...that's a potential career.
#37289
(Eagle): I just watched a cock fight
(Deranged): You and your boyfriend at it again?
#5462
<Sinner_> i know someone who fucked a turkey once
<gjvc> i wake up early
<gjvc> check my email
<Murex> i dont see how i could actually fit my average cock into a chicken
<Sinner_> he was mad at his family
<gjvc> and see this shit
<Sinner_> and he fucked the thanksgiving turkey
<lazydog> bhahah
<gjvc> ahahahaha
<Murex> hahhahaa
<gjvc> lord
#4758
<Navaash> SHIT-FUCKING ASSLICKING ELECTROPLATED BLACK JESUS CHRIST ON AN ELECTRIC MOPED
<mightyflo> times 7.6
<FlipTopBox> squared
<FlipTopBox> with a cherry on top.
<mightyflo> plus alpha!
<FlipTopBox> for matching service
#32691
<@winterstick> ok, about time to go to school
<@winterstick> learn about social problems! oh boy!
<+BalefireX> man
<+BalefireX> you hang out in IRC
<+BalefireX> you know ALL ABOUT social problems
Comment: #gideontech
#8074
<Q-Ball> Average Ejaculatory Speed
<Q-Ball> 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr).
<Q-Ball> you could kill a small mammal with that
#56801
<LabMonkey> damnit
<LabMonkey> there went my afternoon
<LabMonkey> THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE, KARMA
<KArmA> its what I do
<KArmA> try and be a better person
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#68398
TrogL> the person handing out official photo id will not give you your official photo id unless you have your official photo id
TrogL> 3 people are trying to get her to see the catch-22 and she's not getting it
[...]
TrogL> the lady with the ID's gave up and is now handing them out at random
TrogL> she's not even checking to make sure the picture matches
TrogL> apparently I'm a skanky blonde
TrogL> the guy next door's picture shows him bleeding profusely from a head wound
TrogL> gotta love low-bid contractors
#300818
<Crispy`> my friend is making my other friend's girlfriend rage on facebook by arguing with her about how Twilight is the dumbest shit ever
<Crispy`> so I created Twilight for Men.
<Crispy`> government scientist fused DNA with Hayden P. and Mila Kunis to create the hottest woman ever with big titties and a nice ass, and she's all over my dick but it turns out she's a pirate and I'm like "omg but I want to be a pirate" and she's all naked near me and shit and I'm like "you're the most perfect thing ever" ... See Moreand she's like "I know, now fuck me"
<Crispy`> and then all the sudden it turns out the government actually made someone else who was fused from the DNA of Kristen Bell and Elisha Cuthbert and she shows up and is like "what the fuck but I want your dick more." and I'm like "D:"
<Crispy`> and then the Kristen and Elisha fusion is like "OH AND IM A NINJA SHITYEAH" and I'm like "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NINJAS VS PIRATE" and then this was my face when they were fighting a war near me " :O "
<Crispy`> with none of them wearing shirts oh and they all have super nice tits and are not fat at all and are the most perfect looking women ever and then they all want my dick so bad it's hard for me to choose and also whether I want to be a Ninja or Pirate it's a very tough decision.
#38519
<Hawker91587> Yeh she was so drunk it was awesome.
<MontyGommo> Dont you have morals?
<Hawker91587> Ya see, i view morals as hurdles which u must jump over in order to win gold!
#13600
<Mort-Hog> How do u spell Encylop(a)edia?
<Flirbnic> Insyklepudier
#32455
<Bad_CRC> I went to the hospital today, and it's called "olmstead medical group" so the whole place had "OMG OMG OMG" all over it.
#23879
Ubie> I'll worry about policies when I get my own intern
#1049
(s|urpee) haha yuh me hakz0r the university gibson
(s|urpee) one day
(s|urpee) I was like hakz0ring it and stuff
(s|urpee) and I was like emailing support@cc and shit
(s|urpee) and then he emailed me back and told me to notify the lab guy that the comp next to me needed rebooting