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#119039
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far
#24153
<Cael> i like how microsoft word automatically capitalizes 'microsoft'
<FDavid> oh yeah
<thestripedone> heh.
<thestripedone> see if they do it with macintosh
<Cael> haha
<Cael> macintosh isn't a word apparently
<Cael> rofl
#37005
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven
#7751
<X3M`Dodo> |TazHoliO| : If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?
#53151
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.
<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.
<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.
<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.
<k2xl> the output:
<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "
<k2xl> mindblowing eh?
<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.
Comment: true story, i fixed the code and am running it again
#10989
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse.
#16109
<Heinz89> just got my butt wiped FINALLY
<Heinz89> hmmm
<Heinz89> that didn't come out right :P
#3439
<dodge> i tell ya
<dodge> youre sitting here one minuite, the next thing you know youve just woken up and theres ya laptop under yer pillow...
<Lord-Data> nope.. just you ...
#18465
<jitspoe> friends, heh! Social interaction! Heh, a game programmer craves not these things!
#37565
(@greeneking) I started my job today...
(@greeneking) It's so easy, lol
(@greeneking) 8 hour shifts
(@greeneking) and all i do is get books off shelves and put them onto boxes
(@greeneking) the most fun part is pushing a box down one of them roller belt thingys
(@greeneking) i should shit in one
Comment: genuine typo....
#116163
<sly> being a sex addict is a bad thing?
<hohum> only for ugly people
#304157
<dogel> my mother said to me last night after i asked her to sign something
<dogel> "you know how to forge my signature, do it yourself"
#4200
*** Quits: Disco[d2] (k-lined: u stole my girlfriend! (edison))
#181037
<IMP`> hey guys i got a question, who remembers which way you twist a ball mouse's bottom thing so that the ball comes out?
<IMP`> is it the direction of the arrow, or opposite the arrow?
#16417
* nSu`bNr`t has joined #asp
<nSu`bNr`t> is that a channel for active server page ?
<Karyon> no
<Karyon> its the Asp, Snake and Serpent discussion group
<Karyon> We're snaketrainers
<Karyon> you interested in becoming one?
<ZondrZout> Karyon! I just tought my snake a new trick!!
<Karyon> really?
<ZondrZout> Yeah, I tought it how to find an entrance
<Karyon> You dont have a snake, idiath
<ZondrZout> I don't?
<Karyon> no
<Karyon> thas your dick
<ZondrZout> Dick, go search for an entrance on Karyon!
#14623
(_3TS|ZaW): ahh yes...i recall when i first lit my nuts ablaze...it was in chemistry...it said "light the burner." and when i was lighting it, my pants slipped off and my penis flopped over the bunson burner...darndest thing...
#301376
<slashproc> Oh, I was thinking AOL 9.1
<slashproc> ever run into anyone actually using it?
<argosy> Yes. Then I backed up and ran over them again.
Comment: #css on Efnet
#1976
<__NoBoDy_> comp is slow as fuck right now freezin up a bit
<__NoBoDy_> heh
<__NoBoDy_> but im a gangsta and just dont give a fuck
<BC|HyDRO> jeah, real gangstas just let their comps run slow
#3763
<[ric]> as the old joke goes, commodore is so bad a marketing, if they bought KFC they would rename it "warm dead bird"
#15467
<rogue> I like how matt took the time to tell us he was vomiting
<rogue> it's that kind of detail that really makes this channel work, I think
#296656
<@HyperHacker> lol wut
<@HyperHacker> I was just about to fap
<@HyperHacker> and then a song came on
<@HyperHacker> "Grip - Every Little Thing"
<@HyperHacker> D:
#307592
<flotwig> non-computer people ask what you like to do
<flotwig> just say "oh, i'm in the php scene"
<flotwig> they'll think you're doing drugs or some shit
<arpad> "poor guy, he can't even spell pcp"
#302305
<Havoc> Fax: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kilpqiM_To
<Symphony> [YouTube]: Title: US Pole Dance Finals 2009 Championship Highlights | By: lastdon6585 (uploaded on October 19, 2009) | Duration: 2mins 54secs | Views: 2,689 | Rating: 5.0 (5 ratings)
<Havoc> Clicketh
<Fax> seen it
<Fax> is that one where the chick falls off?
<Havoc> I'm offended nobody informed me of such an event.
<Havoc> No lol
<Fax> maybe that's the blooper tape
<Fax> one chick climbs all the way up to the top of the pole
<Fax> then does the upside-down spread eagle thing
<Fax> and slips
<Havoc> Ouch
<Fax> she, like, dislocated her shoulder
<Fax> it was about as painful to watch as those videos of idiot skateboarders sterilizing themselves by repeatedly mashing their nutsacks into bannisters
<Fax> that is to say, wince-inducing but still lol-worthy
<Havoc> Darwin's theory at its finest.
#311199
<the_map> I'm a bit upset that bash.org doesn't have anything like, "Ursula sets mode -v Ariel"
#1057
(MoLaUstEr) They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.