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#14524
<Taze> "LEGOLAS PANTS AS HE FILLS YOUR SHAKING LOVE TUNNEL WITH HIS LONG ELVEN ROD"
* Scibert blinks.
<Scibert> "Love tunnel?"
<arenotelicon> yes Sci.
<arenotelicon> this is why porn stories scare me.
<Scibert> Since when did the human body turn into an amusement park ride?
<arenotelicon> we're not sure.
<arenotelicon> sometime after porn was invented.
#49854
<circusbred> my first time was horrible
<MK|AmericanRetard> lol
<Athlete> my first time was with a bitch of a tease and now i wish i hadn't
<circusbred> i wouldn't wish that on the 'right girl'
<MK|AmericanRetard> ROFL
<Athlete> cus we fucked for like 15 mintues and just as it were getting good
<Athlete> she stopped and started laughing
<MK|AmericanRetard> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<circusbred> ohhh
<Athlete> fuckin bitch
#27889
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned.
#307472
<Jessica_Lily> yeh i gave my mac a drink of cider
<Jessica_Lily> turned out not to like it
<Jessica_Lily> keyboard, hdd and trackpad stopped working
<moylan1> ironic that a mac can't handle apple juice?
#8065
<biatch> who the hell are you gnostic
<gnostic> i am your god damn nemesis
<gnostic> any other questions?
<Madeleine> what are you wearing?
#305243
cmca: so i've been playing starcraft a lot late at night and i think its starting to infiltrate my real life
cmca: me, emi, kyle, and paul were coming back from lunch and we got to the door that requires a key card. and we all just stood there, everyone waiting for someone else to swipe theirs
cmca: and my first thought was "shit, i missed the minerals when i set the rally point for the drones"
rnovel: HAHAHAHAH
cmca: and then i shook myself and swiped my card...
#18511
<d3m|silence`sleepyweepy> he is just an asshole and feels he needs to use derogatory names to get his way
#294656
<drac> I was in a public restroom today and the box that contains the toilet paper rolls has a side that can't be seen until you're sitting down
<drac> so I wrote "I pissed all over the toilet seat" on there
#59695
<StupidStupor> I just got back from the hospital, getting a cast put on my kid's arm.
<MoFoCowKing> Damn.
<StupidStupor> I was teaching him to ride his bike without his training wheels, but when I let go, he fell off the bike.
<StupidStupor> So I broke the little bastard's arm.
#7591
<JtHMx> not overly keen on a film that makes #warez-nz fanboys cry
<billa> you need to respect.
<billa> to scared youll break down
<JtHMx> no, too scared I'll waste a couple of hours of my life
<JtHMx> says the man on irc at 1am
#9100
* Ryo curses his swiss-cheese memory
* Grue curses his fondue memory. It's all melty and stuff. o_o;
#36088
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) on a warez bot
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) they had full version of winrar
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) as winrar.rar
(&Axel) hahahahahaha
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) like wtf
(@mrWoot) lol
(@mrWoot) winrar.rar
#856
<Gussy> Does anyone here know much about exercise?
<fs`> is that an emu?
#17172
* C|3avag3 has quit IRC (Quit: Wh0 Am |? U sure u wanna know? If somebody told u i was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied! This is my gift! It is my curse! Who am |? |'m Spider-Man!!!)
<Seaker> And lamest quit message of the day goes to C|3avag3
* Att|tude^ has quit IRC (Quit: I can't go on, I know not what to do, My heart is worn, I feel as If I'm through, Please believe in me. 'Cause what I need is for you.... To believe in me.)
<Seaker> Woah, tough competition today ... I think today we'll have to call it a draw.
* Love-snack has quit IRC (Quit: Quit playing games with my heart cause baby you're breaking my heart , I LOVE YOU FOREVER XXX)
<Seaker> *DING DING* WE HAVE A WINNER!!
#12431
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
#297160
< MYOB> Borders' website just died entirely on me in the middle of a satisfaction survey
< expensivelesbian> ha ha
< expensivelesbian> "how would you rate our website?"
< expensivelesbian> on a scale of 1 to 404
Comment: freenode
#6206
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Welcome to ftp.idsoftware.com
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Connection from 12.246.148.57 logged
<kadafi:#916> You are user 201 of 200 available connections.
<kadafi:#916> IM USER 201 BEYOTCH
#12008
<@RuebiaYat> GoodScrat: has God spoken to you lately?
<@GoodScrat> I don't talk to myself
#34712
<@Joe> OMG - forgot the wife
<@Joe> my clock never changed
<@Joe> brb
Comment: Daylight savings time.
#33457
<Ethel> Actually, if we're talking about Spam, I kept a tin of Spam all the way through university. For my 21st birthday, a group of friends and I ceremonially openned it in the EE&E common room and had Spam, ketchup and white bread sandwiches
<Matt> and then puked your little guts up?
<Ethel> The only thing we'd forgotten was a knife to cut the Spam, so we used a protractor instead.
<Matt> Ethel: hardcore engineers
<Ethel> This adventure was reprised at my wedding reception
<Clive> Ethel: You fed people spam at your wedding reception?
<Ethel> Clive: no, I nipped to the loo after the starter and returned to discover that my cutlery had been replaced with a geometry set and that I was being served Spam, white bread and Tesco Value ketchup.
<Ethel> I was touched
<Clive> You were touched while still in the loo, or when you got back to the main room?
<Clive> Surely it's against the norms of etiquette to touch the groom at a wedding?
<Ethel> Clive: now that would be telling
#8349
<Hito> This girl at school asked me a really wierd question today.
<Hito> "What's the best ecperience you've ever had while masturbating? Explain why. After, tell me what the worst experience you've had masturbating is, and explain why."
<Jin|Cool> I got that once as an essay question on my SAT.
<Jin|Cool> Mostly why I got a 1200.
#302973
Suzuran: Was was the name of that one site where people copypaste bullshit and show it to other people?
nly: oh I think you mean The Internet
Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
#5370
<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better than old ones.
#12317
<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Lan> a little to the left
#34503
<TallestRed> WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH! WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!
<BlasterDRP> british toothpaste company?