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#8465
<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers all round the world can work on it for me
#62635
<Workdug> <woebeetle> russian food = alcohol,cigarettes,cabbage
<metric> i could live on that
<jmx> dont know about the cabbage
<Spidey> pass on the cabbage
Comment: #geekissues
#30111
<regwaur> <nwmann> i've been able to get my tongue to touch the tip of my cock before
<R0y> dude i used to be able to get my whole shaft into my throat
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3
<regwaur> ahahaa
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3" of my cock in my mouth
<regwaur> why even have a gf then r0y
<R0y> because she makes me feel whole and good
<enoggy> dude
<enoggy> people who constantly try to suck their own dick worry me
<regwaur> question is
<regwaur> if you could suck your dick, would you swallow?
<enoggy> hahah
<R0y> fuck ya
#68894
<sysv> omg i was so fucking stoned yesterday
<sysv> got off the wrong level on the lift at work today
<sysv> all the floors have the same layout, and the tech center is in the same place per each floor
<sysv> so i goes and gets off at some chinese engineering level in our building
<sysv> walk into the office, through the office, and sit down in my chair in the server room
<sysv> i'm like "My, this chair is so comfy!... When did we upgrade our servers to Quad Xeon's?"...
<sysv> and people are coming to me asking for help, so I'm helping and shit, doing my job...
<sysv> 4 hours into it, someone asks me if I'm Guy Yee's assistant... and I'm like "who the fuck is Guy Yee?"...
<sysv> things went downhill from there, once they realized (and i realized) I didn't work on that level
<sysv> but they were happy to pay me for my 4 hours of time, and send me on my way down the lift to my companies level... i was wonderin why everyone was so fucking nice to me
<sysv> -_-
#45404
<theProject> anyways, is it just me, or is badget badger one infinite loop?
<LoneGamer> badger badger?
<LoneGamer> it's always been an infinite loop
<theProject> MORONS
<LoneGamer> the badger badger soccer/football is an infinite loop with a counter
<theProject> bloody bleeping hell, someone linked me to it and told me "check out the ending, it's really funny"
<theProject> so i sat there for ten minutes
<LoneGamer> it's times like this i wish there were a rofl smilie
#2378
(rageboy) ok let me give you a hypothetical situation
(rageboy) and you tell me if you would be mad
(rageboy) you are having a house party..
(rageboy) and you come home.. everyone is still partying
(rageboy) and one of your friends is having sex on your bathroom sink
(rageboy) would you kick him outta your house?
(vrs) is he a good friend
(vrs) ?
(rageboy) yeah
(vrs) do you like the girl?
(rageboy) no no..
(rageboy) i was the one fucking
#7239
<fo0bar> fuck, how do I contact the IRS?
<egon> cheat on your taxes... they'll contact you.
#310484
<Phase4> "Reaching out to more and more gamers, Minecraft developers are planning to include subtitles for the convenience of people who have the inability to hear."
<Quora> "hisss"
<Quora> "ugh"
<Sanchal> "Clank"
<Phase4> "boom"
<Quora> "whack"
<Sanchal> "tinktinktink"
<Phase4> "mooo"
<Quora> "bawk"
<Kopachris> "zoop"
<Quora> "kodak film"
#32560
<@Hellfish> wow, we actually had a funny joke going till you RUINED IT with goatse
#29852
<phide> I've got the Village People on my cell to confuse people as to my sexual preferences.
#158063
<Craiggers> DG was making me watch Chimp Eden tonight and the dude was trying to catch bushmeat traders.
<Craiggers> It was fucking pathetic, he was standing there, being as White as my fucking bare ass with a camera crew, asking his Black friend to ask the bushmeat trader if he had any chimpanzee.
<Craiggers> The dude behind the counter was like "Uhhh, we do not sell chimpanzee because that is illegal and...uhh...wrong."
<Craiggers> Hell, I mean, why don't I go to downtown Indy with a fucking camera crew and ask to buy some crack.
<DeaconVerter> lol
<snex_lptp> maybe they figure a dumb knee-grow doesnt know what a camera is
<Craiggers> "Excuse me, my brother, I believe that I am whack for crack, and am interested in transacting with one who may be able to accommodate my business need."
#44549
ExiledFromLight: hahahaha
ExiledFromLight: omfg
Xenophoribic: What?
ExiledFromLight: i was showing my mom some shirts that i was looking at on jinx.com
ExiledFromLight: and she say Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night
ExiledFromLight: and of course jinx is a site for geeks/gamers
ExiledFromLight: and she wanted it, but in white. it only came in black
ExiledFromLight: so im like "geeks dont wear white, it stains too easily"
ExiledFromLight: so she looks at me and says "those stains show up on black too"
Xenophoribic: XD
Xenophoribic: Your mom owned you, man.. Congratulations
#58450
<Jamie_M> my first concussion was from a giant black guy hurling me across the room
<Jamie_M> note to you all: Dont play power rangers with giant black guys
#394
<blazemore> i hate when you're trying to own someone
<blazemore> and then you own yourself
#292
<skunko> dammit
<skunko> how do you get past the metallica ban on napster
<AlmtyBob> not liking crap music is a start
#307356
<@Shifteny> Ok, I just did something really stupid and I was glad nobody was over in this office today to see it
<@Shifteny> I have this really nice, very warm fleece pullover I keep in this office because it gets cold over here sometimes
<@Shifteny> it has a drawstring in the waist
<@Shifteny> well, I've been wearing it since lunch because I was cold
<@Shifteny> I started getting hot, so I decided to take it off
<@Shifteny> I didn't notice that I was sitting on the drawstring
<@Shifteny> so as I was trying to pull the garment over my head, the drawstring kept tightening around my waist
<@Shifteny> so I was stuck there for a minute trying to figure out why I couldn't get it off
<@Shifteny> flailing around, trying to pull my arms out so I could get un-stuck
<@Shifteny> it was like the fleece pullover equivalent of a Chinese finger trap
#28942
<@rzr_grl> wow.
<@rzr_grl> $1500 into the bank
<@rzr_grl> $1449.98 out of the bank
<@rzr_grl> in under 30 min
* rzr_grl sobs
<@jwz> hey, that's profit!
<@jwz> now you let the compound interest do its thing
#13424
<diranged> silly ghost bear
<diranged> where's no sense there's no feeling
<diranged> so pointing pistol at my head is rather useless
#35941
<pantherqs> y'know
<pantherqs> my chest-mounted expansion pack is starting to bother me, every few months out comes a bigger version
<pantherqs> time to lay off the fucking juice.
#7454
<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable
#226389
<Lenny> yeah i know wayt you saying ....i tey stay out of politics too it more depressess me to know there are so many idiots in the world ..... i think we need to start culling the human population
<AnimeMan> But you'd be the first to go
#305249
xxx: Is it just me or is Windos a misnomer?
Jef: ?
xxx: WinDOS
xxx: Win Disk Operating System
xxx: Whilst it isn't Win at all.
Jef: I thought it was windows.
xxx: What should we name your new operating system? Hmm, well, there is a window....
xxx: wait
xxx: Oh wow
xxx: There is a W there
xxx: That invalidates 3 years worth of thought
#307572
< nathan> GODDAMNIT
< nathan> my DB is being an anus to me
< tonyb486> ANUS DB?!
< tonyb486> with the anusdb, every user gets their own "anus," and are encouraged to say things like "just store it in my anus"
#297776
<DevXen> seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
#303746
<K-ain> i got fired from blizzard
<pub|k> late again?
<K-ain> they dont like their own language used against em
<K-ain> but they said it was because of "poor timekeeping"
<K-ain> i was constantly late
<K-ain> i guess i crossed the line when they rang me to tell me theyre waiting for me to show up for work
<K-ain> i was like, 3 hours late
<K-ain> i was like 'dont worry ill be there'
<K-ain> and they asked me when ill be there
<K-ain> and i just said 'in blizzard terms?.. soon'
<K-ain> they told me not to bother coming in :(