Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#2566
<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE
#6781
<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I", "myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.
#20502
<Riku> One time, there was an American, an Irishmen (I think), and a Polish guy who just robbed a bank and were hiding out in a barn.
<Riku> But then they heard the cops come, so the american hid behind a cow, the irish guy hid behind a pig, and the polish guy hid behind a sack of potatoes
<Riku> So when the cops came in, they shined the flashlight on the cow
<Riku> so the american guy went "moooo"
<Riku> then they shined it on the pig, and the irish guy when "oink oink"
<Riku> Then, they shined it on the sack of potatoes
<Riku> And the polish guy went, "Potato"
#16833
<grier> you think you're so god damn floorless
<grier> so superior
<XfitzyX> do you mean flawless?
<girer> oh fucken leave me alone
* grier has quit IRC (Exit: i am so alone in this empty world)
#52830
ryeenae: what's up with Vossoughi's wierd accent?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iranian
ryeenae: so, where is she from? Irania?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iran, dipshit
#1302
<|Chris> okay...here's one
<|Chris> what's the worst crime you've ever commited?
<Guilty> I once taped a Golden Girls episode with only implyed oral permission and not expressed written permission
#21391
<Waffles111> does "nihon ni sukimashita" bean "I have arrived in Japan"?
<Waffles111> oh, nevermind
<Waffles111> it was "tsukimashita"
<Cap`nRatboy> it means "jesus, theres tentacles in holes i didnt even know i had."
#15624
<rtwh0> why are you upset?
<sugadon> who the hell says i was god damn upset? huh?
<rtwh0> umm never mind
<sugadon> i hate people who spread god damn rumors, muther fucker , god damn
#31336
<everwicked> bleeeehhh
<everwicked> I just got this pr0n and it get so fucking gay
<everwicked> there's two chicks, one with strap on
<everwicked> they fuck each other
<everwicked> then a guy pops in and fucks the one with the strap on
* Parts: Geeck
<everwicked> and then she goes "it's my turn now"
<everwicked> ewww
<everwicked> I even scared Geeck off
<wildboar> so she strap-ons the dude?
<everwicked> yah man
<everwicked> disgusting
<wildboar> shoulda just left it with the 2 chix
<everwicked> YES!
<everwicked> definitely
<everwicked> im scared to watch the rest now
<wildboar> yeah watch the doorbell ring and there's a huge german shepard there
<wildboar> and the chick is all omgyes now its ur turn!!
<everwicked> ^_^
#14076
<Jester-> *rapes Eevee a lot*
<Red_Sky> It's not rape if he enjoys it.
<Jester-> .... he?
#50190
(+Mafi) A friend of mine, earlier, kept nudging me, making my computer run slow
(+Mafi) (Over MSN)
(+Mafi) So I said "Do that one more time, and I'll kill you."
(+Mafi) She did it once more
(+Mafi) I waited 'til she was playing World of Warcraft
(+Mafi) And nudged her, spammed her, and sent voice clips
(+Mafi) ...I killed her ENTIRE GROUP
Comment: #otf_games on irc.gamesurge.net
#56361
AMPlifier47: I have so little room left on my computer
AMPlifier47: I tried to save a 200-character .txt file
AMPlifier47: and I did not have enough free space
AMPlifier47: I just deleted an empty folder to make room for it.
#25142
<phats> damnit, now that I'm checking my mail pretty often I'm not getting any
<phats> heh
<phats> mail that is
#309463
<Rays0re> i caught myself a beetle
<Rays0re> he's in my hand
<Rays0re> what should i name him?
<Deepy> If you got a tight grip, name him Beetlejuice
#55352
<tom> can we make a hoax on blitzed.org
<grifferz> maybe you could announce my death in a news item
<tom> I wouldn't want to let people down
<tom> when they find it isn't true
#531
<Fustard> i should take a picture of my penis like orion, and give it away as a present
<w3nis> maybe you shouldnt
<DigDug> yeah, maybe you shouldn't
<Fustard> yeah maybe i shouldnt
#4809
*** Now talking in #bible
<Synial> Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a realistic image of the full Jesus! Is he hung like his dad? FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!
#307358
<Roxsie> hey sebas, what do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
<@Sebas> A shit magician.
#31330
<Jim_McNeat> Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just trust me on that one" mode?
#55159
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement
#37257
<ProdigySim> We should have had him bring a TV back from Japan
<ProdigySim> so we could pirate Japanese TV shows!
<Juggerneko> Did you have the stupid for supper, or was it just an appetizer?
#29110
<Bruce> You know the mile high club?
<Sheila> what about it?
<Bruce> Can you join it on your own?
<Sheila> you sad, sad little man
#33898
<tito> the first rule of fap club is we do not talk about fap club
#67390
<eieioh> i completely trashed my vocal cords this weekend while playing a few gigs with my band..i'm not supposed to talk
<eieioh> tonight i was at work and they put me on delivery instead of in the kitchen like i usually do
<eieioh> i made nine deliveries before 8, when we stop delivering..and all but two of the customers called to complain that i was rude and impolite because i didn't say anything
<eieioh> and my boss, whenever someone complains, wants the person who was complained about to apologize to the person complaining
<eieioh> but my boss wouldn't let me because of my voice. but finally i got tired of people calling..so i told him to let me take it
<eieioh> here's what i said to everyone.."sir/ma'am, i apologize for your dissatisfaction but i have esophagal cancer and this job is helping me pay my chemotherapy expenses."
<eieioh> my boss and i were laughing so hard, but it hurt so much to laugh i nearly puked.
<eieioh> one of them came in to give me a tip. :D
#62635
<Workdug> <woebeetle> russian food = alcohol,cigarettes,cabbage
<metric> i could live on that
<jmx> dont know about the cabbage
<Spidey> pass on the cabbage
Comment: #geekissues