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#29050
<clay> yeah i'm not real up to snuff on the length
<clay> or girth
<clay> or functionality
<clay> but i can make sweet floppy sex for hours
#52958
<Junithorn> Well, I've come to the realization that America really needs to convert to metric..
<Junithorn> I was down in NY visiting a friend and we decide to drive back up to Canada
<Junithorn> So ok, driving along the highway in the US, 60 MPH whatever, 80 MPH... and then we cross the border and he sees the sign, but doesnt see the KMH... 120.
<Junithorn> I didn't even think his car went that fast
<
#17246
<[H]Mephisto_kur_srv_> nArKeD... How flexible is your morality?
<nArKeD> what morals?
<0dan0> that is the right answer
#5603
<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
#40138
<Coyote> "The U.S. motto, E pluribus unum, means "out of many, one." It first appeared in a Roman poem as part of a recipe for making a salad.
#318
<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.
#32455
<Bad_CRC> I went to the hospital today, and it's called "olmstead medical group" so the whole place had "OMG OMG OMG" all over it.
#29354
<clay> words with ae looks cool
<clay> they should change them all to that
<clay> masturbaetd
#33221
<dekkon> when im in the military, i wanna be the guy who blacks out all the topsecret info
#50837
<Samantha_Carter> is it possible that someone can be so handicapped in his eyesight that he wouldnt see anything with glasses?
<Samantha_Carter> he wouldnt even be able to recognize shapes or anything?
<wilkz> yes sam - its called being blind.
#19724
<jacs> I can't sleep with him and then see him leave in six days. too much. I may go to Toronto in the fall though..so..we'll see.
<sirgreg> that's too bad.
<jacs> but who knows...I could just kick him out of my car and fuck him on the transcanada.
<sirgreg> they lied. Romance isn't dead.
#11598
<kero> if you jizzed and there wasn't any gravity, u think there'd be a kickback?
<kero> if i was on mars, i'd def hide behind a crater and jerk off
<kero> just to say i did
<fzt> that'd kind suck to be lost in space cause you were viciously beating off
on the moon.
#300860
<spigwitmerdicks> so i had this cool dream where i was in the hospital in a body cast and could only communicate with pen & paper, which for some reason i drew a dick on a paper that i gave back to a nurse. a bunch of a nurses and doctors then gathered around it puzzled by the possible interpretations of what i wanted while i just laughed my ass off cause i just felt like drawing a fucking dick
#56878
<Turtles> I really wouldn't mind if an old lady took a dump on my chest.
<Lovespuds> ...
<Lovespuds> ...Dude.
<Turtles> Er.
<Turtles> That was the wrong window.
<Lovespuds> Turtles, there is no such thing as the right window for that.
#96424
* Oddlot_P3 goes to grab some sort of food.
<FuzzyPlushroom> That reminds me
<FuzzyPlushroom> In ninth grade, I got bored in science class and wrote "Is Penis a Food?" on the table
<FuzzyPlushroom> I drew a two-column chart under it, "Yes" and "No"
<Oddlot_P3> Any replys?
<FuzzyPlushroom> The majority of tickmarks were in the "Yes" column
<FuzzyPlushroom> Therefore, in conclusion, I'm forced to consider the possibility that you're a flaming faggot.
#237243
<Poromenos> Getting a bill passed is like getting a story on the reddit frontpage, only in the Senate you're trying to get as many people to game the system as possible
<knight666> So Digg is a more accurate representation of the U.S. Senate?
#1911
<D\TOX> DenverJeepGuy : well check out my picture and see if I look too old for you
<D\TOX> babyangelcakes1405 : damn ur hott!
<D\TOX> DenverJeepGuy : so do you like college guys like me?
<D\TOX> babyangelcakes1405 : yeah...
<D\TOX> this 14 year old says she can't fuck me
<D\TOX> 'cause she's grounded
<D\TOX> but in a month she can
#26310
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.
#51593
Florgenblorken: did i tell you my cousin ran away
Caracarn52: nope
Caracarn52: Go on.
Florgenblorken: hes like a drug addict and just bad news in general, and he hates his parents. so i hear from my dad last week he ran off with 1200$ and has been gone for about half a week. but heres the fucked up part. he asked me last time i saw him, "hey dude ive been thinking of running off think i should?" and me being an idiot says, "yeah man sure why not" since i thought he was joking
Florgenblorken: whoops
#50180
<DangerousCurves> man
<DangerousCurves> now i wanna go into a store
<DangerousCurves> and buy a pregnancy test
<DangerousCurves> then come back in 5 mins and buy some wire coathangers
#3604
(snpr^): 1337 = l33t = leet = elite = ghey
#60275
<Bjarni> XeryusTC: the reason for your project is failing is that you want to get a life and your progress is to make a homepage and get people from IRC to read it
#5017
<Pad-lock> Hey Shithead! You want a fuckin fight?!?! If so come to #teens4christ That is.. if your not a fuckin PUSSY!!!!
#290508
makkusu: THE RULES OF THE INTERNET CAN EAT A BAG OF DICKS
laughlax: Ah, Jason
laughlax: yes they can.
laughlax: rule 34, remember?
#6483
<dj_ak> i just popped a zit on my shoulder
<dj_ak> and it hit me in the eye
<dj_ak> then i licked my eye
<splifs> women must love you