Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#178576
<+sev> pegasus
<+sev> wake yo ass up
<@pegasus_> ?
<@pegasus_> i'm awake
<+sev> IRC dance competition
<+sev> go.
<@pegasus_> <o> \o/ <o/ \o>
<+sev> __o__ -_o__ --o__ _-o-_ __o-- __o_- __o__ }o{
<+sev> that's a wave followed by a goatse.
<@pegasus_> you win.
<+sev> yay!
#6791
<Kelly> i know a guy who was so facinated w/ tits he take two condoms, fills them w/ water, ties them together, slings them over his shoulders and wears them in a bra
<crazym> Kelly: you need to get out less.
<Kelly> heh!
#303479
<Tom> Guys, I just pulled the best prank ever, took 2 months to do the whole thing.
<Matt> ... Go on?
<Charlie> what was it?
*** Joins: Craig
<Craig> Fuck guys, James died.
<Matt> What the fuck?! How?
<Craig> Noone knows, a midget found him dead in his bathroom apparently.
<Craig> He is up there on the suspect list.
*** Quits: Tom (Ermm.. sleep)
<Craig> That'll teach the prick to hide midgets in my bathroom.
*Craig is now known as James
#63631
<chief> What other city does uk have apart from england
#7463
<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil overexcited
#33895
<Ristora> brant: you know gullibles not in the dictionary
<Ristora> it;s crazy :|
<Brant> Ristora: what the crap are you talking about?
<Brant> Ristora: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gullible
<Ristora> hhahhahh
<Brant> HAHAHAHHAHA
<Brant> OMG
<Brant> FUCK YOU
Comment: I got owned :(
#29166
<BoZmAn20> Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste in men
<BoZmAn20> wait
<BoZmAn20> Shit.
#302675
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead
#298561
<james> I wonder how many people are familiar with the term bukkake
<pegmeloN> :P
<pegmeloN> ... wow, that was about the worst possible choice of smiley for that response
#3223
<[prefix]> hahahah
<[prefix]> I just read the funniest shit
<[prefix]> this guy's sister got her laptop stolen, so her brother broke into it and replaced the dialup phone number for the ISP to his phone #
<[prefix]> when the person dialed it up he had their name on the caller ID went over to their house, took it back, and kicked their ass
#48575
<VVelox_w> hey all
<VVelox_w> why would a memory address ever be negative?
<Heero> because it's depressed
<Heero> I mean, who isn't now a days
Comment: #freebsd on ECNet
#70439
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES!
#49620
<Jmax> <@Jmax> lettuce.
<Jmax> <+cheeba> yo momma is like lettuce, 25 cents a head
<cythrawll> Your Mom is so fat, if she was a c variable, her initialization would look like this: yourMom = (TFAT*) malloc(sizeof(YOUR_MOM)); //Stack Overflow
<JugglingWolves> lmao
#33984
<Wooben> Girls are all afraid of me too :(
<Wooben> I did go out with this one girl
<Wooben> but she was really scary
<Wooben> I decided i was scared
<Wooben> So she called me and i told her she was really ugly
<Wooben> so that was the end of that
#16175
<KAboomy> I used to be afraid of bees
<KAboomy> now I'm just afraid of mayonaise
#42134
<Ebola> spankmeistress: My tongue hurts, I bit it today :(
<spankmeistress> *sigh*
* spankmeistress licks it better
<Ebola> :)
<Darksun> Hmm
<Darksun> My penis hurts...
<TimTim> ...
<Darksun> What, it's worth a try
Comment: #uplink on irc.uplinkcorp.net
#305243
cmca: so i've been playing starcraft a lot late at night and i think its starting to infiltrate my real life
cmca: me, emi, kyle, and paul were coming back from lunch and we got to the door that requires a key card. and we all just stood there, everyone waiting for someone else to swipe theirs
cmca: and my first thought was "shit, i missed the minerals when i set the rally point for the drones"
rnovel: HAHAHAHAH
cmca: and then i shook myself and swiped my card...
#10882
<jorm> i want to get laid. look out, world.
#192
<Quan> they speak "texican"
#24572
<ShadowRage> I woke up this morning and thought I was a carrot :(
#40995
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION"
#3557
<mightyflo> and "what technologies do you like working with best?"
<mightyflo> that's an odd question
<redbatszu> dusteating nanobots?
<mightyflo> i should hook those up to the x10 remote
<mightyflo> i could clean the house from my chair
#105985
<Dio> Was it Jimi Hendrix who said "if I make a mistake, I just keep repeating it, then it's not a mistake any more"?
<Karg> Might well have been Bill Gates.
#300671
<DCoder> cute
<DCoder> my Amazon.co.uk recommendations consist of C++, Hacking, and Malware Forensics books
<DCoder> ...
<DCoder> and a Zapf Creations Barbie
<DCoder> wtf
#6885
<rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
<rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
<rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
<rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
<rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
<rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal passage
<rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL