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#11996
<Mr_Poppinfresh> If I were to judge my personal character based solely on the people who don't like me, I'd be up for fucking sainthood.
<Mr_Poppinfresh> That says something about me, doesn't it anarch?
<LandSlide> Yeah Pop, it means the church is doomed :)
#47254
< Telal> "Sorry I came unglued earlier..."
< Telal> fuck that
< Akamu> Seriously
< Telal> she can stay on her side of the state
< Akamu> You know, you should turn gay.
< Akamu> Men don't do this shit in breakups
< Akamu> A fist fight and you can be freinds
< Telal> yeah, but then there's the buttsex
< Akamu> Well, everything has a downside
< Telal> haha
< Telal> I think that was the most objective discussion of homosexuality ever
Comment: in #moo on afternet
#68259
<mrk_mat> I am BRILLIANT
<mrk_mat> found the loophole I needed to get what I wanted done
<d4_teh_gr8> "it aint cheatin if she's your cousin"?
#1611
<tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a minimal octal instead of puging the cache
#220691
Aga: I just binned a condom
Aga: it had ran past its expiry date
Aga: ...somehow I make sure to always have one around in case somebody else might be in dire need of one
#304474
<@Fingers> soooooo
<@Fingers> anyone else familiar with the Xerox Phaser 8200/8400 printers?
<@Fingers> specifically the ink blocks they use?
<@Fingers> you know, the ones that are basically big blocks of colored wax, kind of like crayons?
<Genesys> neat
<@Fingers> now, I say "kind of like" because obviously, they ARE NOT crayons
<Genesys> aww
<@Fingers> however
<@Fingers> it appears that distinction was lost on one of my coworkers
<@Fingers> who decided that the best course of action when the yellow ink sticks ran low was NOT to order replacements
<@Fingers> but instead, to jam a shit-ton of yellow Crayolas into the yellow feed slot
<Genesys> you are kidding, right?
<@Fingers> no
<@Fingers> I am not
<@Fingers> at least she removed the paper wrapper first
<@Fingers> "well, they're both just colored wax, right?"
<@Fingers> sure
<@Fingers> and gasoline and diesel are just petroleum products, either should work fine
<@Fingers> I'm trying to remove the ink feed assembly to see if I can chisel this nasty crayon mess out of the printer
<@Fingers> FUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Comment: Fingers works in education. These people are teaching your children!
#22069
<moijk|mpr> Our sales guy have become a alcoholic, is that a bad sign?
<Jumper> depends, does he sell more, less or equal?
<moijk|mpr> well, he have yet to show up for work for the last week so I guess that ought to tell his current preformance.
<moijk|mpr> but he is 32, lives with his mother in the basement, has no girlfriend, hangs out in pubs where the teenagers hang out (18 limit) and drives his mothers car. i would have started drinking if i were him too :)
#24078
<whitcomb> i somehow get the feeling that listening to the cure and looking at porn is very, very wrong
#8102
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#53697
<Chris> They want everything they can't get in a man. For the most part, we only want someone to play with and have a little companionship with.
<Chris> I mean..I understand the compatiblity issue. You wouldn't put a G4 chip onto an AMD board...
<Chris> Then again, it's probably analogies like that which keep me pretty safe from girls.
#2015
<Digested> cool :)
<Digested> you have a gf that knows how to download mp3s
<madog> ya
<madog> and email
<qvr> That's nothing.. I had this goldfish....
#29814
<Vex> Anyway, I'm off todo some meditation
<NSG> how do you meditate, and stay so evil?
<Vex> I became a buddhist on the weekend. Got rid of my evil side
<Vex> It's all gone. I'm no longer...alll...that...evil!
* _Mist_ craves a rootserv force-nick-change command right now
<_Mist_> /msg rootserv chgnick Vex Evil
* Vex clears his conscience
-NickServ- Nickname evil has been dropped.
* Vex feels more enlightened
* Vex eats some chocolate cake
#240218
<MiracleBlue> I had the worst nightmare
<MiracleBlue> In my dream I was on the computer right
<MiracleBlue> And anyway, I was visiting a website and this pop up came up
<MiracleBlue> And installed malware on my machine
<MiracleBlue> And the porn king (you know that dude with the long hair and bald spot)
<MiracleBlue> His voice was coming from my computer
<MiracleBlue> Talking about porn
<MiracleBlue> I was like FUUUUCK
<MiracleBlue> And I immediately went to download.com and tried to download AVG
<Flawlessdave> That's not a nightmare. A nightmare would be if you were stuck with Norton
<MiracleBlue> Dear god
#123306
<Tenniru> I was scrolling in the high 500s and Comcast's organization skill is weird
<Tenniru> 503: porn
<Tenniru> 504: porn
<Tenniru> 505: Pink Floyd's "Dogs" on a constant loop
<Tenniru> 506: porn
<FireKing> alaoaaoal
<flamingspinach> lmao
<FireKing> what the hell kind of awesome channel is 505
<Tenniru> well at least it was one of their better songs
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
#29383
<Dekkon> i used to deliver pizza
<maff> i used to deliver pizza from the box to my mouth
Comment: #geekissues
#4748
<watchy_> i'm so fat
<watchy_> i forgot where my leg was
#64573
[b] "If you're ever interviewed for a programming job at a big company, you're
gonna get questions like this. At Yahoo! they asked me one about how to figure out which one of 1000 bottles of wine was poisoned, using less than 10 prisoners as 'test subjects'."
[b] I'd tell the prisoners that if they don't work it out on their own, I'll kill them all
[ctho] that's the answer that gets you hired for upper management
#38063
<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather
#27364
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> in my room
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> on my bed
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> they did loom
<sheeps> I had two chicks
<sheeps> give me head
<sheeps> ok, the last bit was a lie
<sheeps> and I have no fucking clue what loom means but yeah
#47730
(@Amnizu) SPECIAL
(@Amnizu) back me up
(@Special) tar cfz amnizu.tar.gz -C amnizu/ && mv amnizu.tar.gz /backups
Comment: irc.zirc.org #ZiRC
#302416
Vasir: What's tuberculosis?
Psi: A lung disease
Vasir: Ohh, I thought it was an std
Psi: lol, no, it's transferred by coughing, sneezing, stuff like that
Vasir: I thought its when your dick is clogged
Psi: ...
Vasir: ...
Vasir: Is there a disease fitting that description?
Psi: God, I hope not...
#39733
Jaeger2288: actually your right, i dont aim i just unzip and let gravity and mass do the rest
longlivemarneus: lmfao
Jaeger2288: sorta like those installed ironing boards, if you hit the button its gunna come out hard and fast and someone may get hurt
#30249
<redoz> it should be illegal to release games in the middle of midterms
#302032
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISH
Comment: My first day on IRC
#44867
NeM: i cant sleep man
NeM: its gay
aru: you're love sick
NeM: oh right, love is causing the immense pain in my throat when i swallow. genius.