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#36328
<`Nick> my screen name is AlQaeda Nick
<`Nick> i just use it so my mom cant IM me from work
#21658
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?
#6569
<skullY_> <-- Feels really bright now
<barkode> did you get a new lamp?
#13065
<Rice_Boy> look at the sys requirements for interdev: www.free-trial-sex.com
<Rice_Boy> er... http://msdn.microsoft.com/vinterdev/prodinfo/sysreq.asp
<iheartsql> HAHAHAHAHA
<iheartsql> HAHAHAHAHA
<iheartsql> PRON HEAD
<Rice_Boy> my bad
<Rice_Boy> damn
#21767
<Evil1> Watching comedy Inc is like beating yourself in the genetals with a brick: It's really, REALLY good. When you STOP.
#28293
<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just like to play there and lick all that is avilable down under. Will u allow me under? i Know u want me under ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas....
#67390
<eieioh> i completely trashed my vocal cords this weekend while playing a few gigs with my band..i'm not supposed to talk
<eieioh> tonight i was at work and they put me on delivery instead of in the kitchen like i usually do
<eieioh> i made nine deliveries before 8, when we stop delivering..and all but two of the customers called to complain that i was rude and impolite because i didn't say anything
<eieioh> and my boss, whenever someone complains, wants the person who was complained about to apologize to the person complaining
<eieioh> but my boss wouldn't let me because of my voice. but finally i got tired of people calling..so i told him to let me take it
<eieioh> here's what i said to everyone.."sir/ma'am, i apologize for your dissatisfaction but i have esophagal cancer and this job is helping me pay my chemotherapy expenses."
<eieioh> my boss and i were laughing so hard, but it hurt so much to laugh i nearly puked.
<eieioh> one of them came in to give me a tip. :D
#2694
(drmatitis) ya, i've graduated from the rockstar mullet to the NASCAR mullet
#34422
<@Montana> Damn
<@Montana> I never knew it was so easy getting rid of annoying people...
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> hey
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> whereare you from
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> from bulgaria?
<@Montana> <Montana> I AM RUSSIA!
<@Montana> <Montana> OLD MAN! 53 YEARS OLD!
<@Montana> <Montana> CYBERSEX?
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> no thanks
<@Montana> <Montana> OK!!!!!!
<@Montana> <Montana> *drink vodka*
#50372
HardCoresHeep: I'm having a 3 way with Nina and Andrew.
Californian: mk
HardCoresHeep: ..
HardCoresHeep: ^Conversation
HardCoresHeep: a 3 way conversation
#4695
<zathras> This game of rhymes is eating at my brain, I beg of thee, sir, for the love of god, refrain!
<Deliphos> I cannot! In my blood it doth runneth! Hush thee now, lest I cap with my gunneth!
#60930
<Greenbox> the place i ordered chicken parmesan from forgot the chicken
<Greenbox> so instead of calling and complaining, like a normal person would
<Greenbox> I used asterisk and called them from the number of the department of health
<Greenbox> and told them a random screening of their food had just been conducted, and they failed miserably
<Greenbox> so they were ordered not to serve food until an inspection later today
<Ignite> ROFL
<Kevin> rofl
<Ignite> hahahahahhaha
<Kevin> <3 Greenbox
Comment: #controlthesystem on irc.xelix.net
#28316
<Destruya> We were in Ashland, VA, coming back from unloading my shit into a rented SUV coming back from school
<Destruya> And there's this van, California tags in this McDonalds we pull into
<Destruya> Ashland is only good for three things
<Destruya> Bathroom, food, gas
<Destruya> Nothing else
<Destruya> Perfect rest stop
<Destruya> Anyway, these stereotypical fuckin' Westies are in this Central VA bumfuck McDonalds asking for Cappucinos at 11:30 at night.
<Veen> heh, fucks.
<Destruya> Then, when the black lady at the counter recommends coffee, they ask where the nearest Starbucks is.
<Destruya> It's like, SHIT, people - get a fucking Coke and move on with life.
<Destruya> Caffeine is caffeine
#8024
<Antarius> Are you a dork if you can read digdug.cx/quotes and recognize people regularly?
#25157
<Aster> welcome to the cyber police network, because of your behavior and every one elses on this chat network, ffonline irc will be shut down in 24 hours, by your friendly neighbour hood hacker.
... (s) Server Notice -- Received KILL message for Aster from Spank Path: Spank (hack my balls)
#29666
<@kurteh> think i just downloaded a virus
<@kurteh> ;x
<@kurteh> need to check0r
<@kurteh> but i dont have virus scannor
<@kurteh> link me !
<@FrozenFood> www.goatse.cx/loopback.jpg
<@FrozenFood> omg, i typed that out..
<@FrozenFood> i know it off by heart
<@FrozenFood> :(
#1274
[kisama_] and no, amanda, my favorite monoply symbol is the cannon
[Amanda_] Because it symbolizes all the high powered ass pounding you do?
#188
<Acero> i'm going to try natural penis enlargement ok?
<Acero> if it works i'll let you guys know and we can be the channel with the biggest penises on efnet
<WwMrTwW> penis pump!? weights? implants!?
<Acero> it's some excercise you do with your hand
#5449
<oogie> I wonder would oral sex would feel like from one of those african women with the big plate in their lower lip
<oogie> you could have a little tray to rest your nuts on on her lower lip
#6759
<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but anyways..
#5579
<|argh|> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly.
#32812
<simonf> who the fuck buys a _slice_ of pizza
<Ng> simonf: you've never bought a slice of pizza?
<simonf> Ng: no
<simonf> Ng: only whole pizzas, as god intended
#229169
< BlueWeasel> man
< BlueWeasel> first hurricane ike
< BlueWeasel> now a report about Windows 7 Beta coming
< BlueWeasel> the disasters just don't stop
#6055
<Guyver3> you know what the best part of being me is?
<Guyver3> being me
* Guyver3 gleams with an unholy glow
<kingmob> now, see, that's the kind of attitude i like to hear
<kingmob> the world needs more arrogant bastards
<kingmob> i get lonely
#4861
<Merlin3> It was my grandmother's dying wish that I receive some dave matthews bootlegs... if you have any mp3ed (not from the 4 CDs) please msg me or just go and DCC it to me... thank you for your concern. with everyone's help, I think I will be able to make it through these difficult times.