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#38339
Synlor: oh man i heard the most disgusting story ever
Synlor: okay this chick gave her boyfriend head right
Synlor: ya know
Synlor: but liek a week later there is an infection in her mouth
Synlor: so she went to the doctor to get it checked it out
butters: and?
Synlor: the doctor said it wasn't an std or anything, but it was eggs from maggots
butters: wow
Synlor: and he said the only way you could get that is if you had sex with dead people....
Synlor: her boyfriend works in a funeral home
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#13625
<Sumez> there's no way a girl could ever imagine the pain of being hurt in the testicles
<Mort-Hog> emma: The pain oozes up, and your ahems swell up to the size of pomigranits, your voice goes high and squeky, and your eye lids flicker.
<MrCoulomb> I thought that's what happened when you get possesed by mickey mouse...
#39676
<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders
#7558
<FlagshipX> damn... i don't want to take a shower... i want to sleep
<thine_cow|PHP|> Flag: then, sleep in the shower!
<FlagshipX> hmm
<thine_cow|PHP|> (i've done it... sure you're all wrinkly but damnnit, you're refreshed all over!)
#1141
[D1] wait, vinyl players are called turntables too?
#30527
(Spudman) Being the british people you are, do you ever say "rightio then chap, ta ta?"
(Intron|Away) being the american you are, do you regularly shoot people on your own team in games ?
#230486
<OOPz> 'who had flown from American to give evidence' - the independant
<OOPz> does nobody proof read any more?
<wiseman303> no
<wiseman303> they have spell cheque!
#42327
<Lanmut> what is a haiku?
<Lanmut> i have heard of them before...
<Lanmut> but never seen one
#4054
<conio> 99% of all americans SUCK
<poon> conio: i guess that leaves Monica Lewinsky in the remaining 1% that blows?
#28675
(@opp-noobs-) 27. A catholic minister is known as a?
(NoahB-r) pedophile
Comment: Submitted by Wheelman56
#1375
[Fustard] I just walked out into the living room today
[Fustard] and my mom just randomly went
[Fustard] 'the dog has been masturbating too much, ive never seen it that big'
#129
<cndz> what would jesus do>
<Josh> probably get crucified and die
#50250
<@Myke> Two radio antennae on a roof decided to get married
<@Myke> the ceremony wasn't much
<@Myke> but the reception was excellent.
#135637
Commander_598: Heath Ledger dead.
Kroko: ...what
Kroko: are you serious
Commander_598: Assuming CNN Headline News isn't just making things up.
Latis: No, he's dead.
Kroko: holy crap he is
Baconfish: have they finished making batman yet?
Kroko: yes
Kroko: I think
happydud: imdb lists Batman as in post-production
Baconfish: phew
Latis: awesome. We're safe guys.
#12053
<pele> cookies and milk is the shit
<pele> true thug snack
<sigma> i didnt know santa was a thug
<pele> you think he buys all those presents?
#51079
<[SD]Away> god i hate the my gf is an oper on a network...makes argueing impossible
Comment: random.sssinc2003.net #hosting
#48076
PatamonKid: but, while we hadn't been talking, I was starting to like someone else we knew
PatamonKid: found out last night she had liked me a lot at the same time
Guardian Angel: You must feel like you're in a hentai game D:
PatamonKid: actually, yes. That's EXACTLY how if feels. x_x
PatamonKid: except, you know, I won't actually get any at the end.
Guardian Angel: hahahahahahah
#38280
<Mech> wow 8th grade was so long ago
<Mech> so many memories.
* Mech represses them again.
#33987
<homerj> there were a lot of black people when we saw bad boys 2
<homerj> I remember when I was like 7 my mom talked about the colored lady down the street
<homerj> I kept looking for some chick that was like all colors of the rainbow
#35740
the_white2086: just thinking, 2 saddest thing I have seen for a while
the_white2086: 1) instructions on toothpicks
the_white2086: 2) warning many contain traces of nuts (on a bag of penuts)
phlipping: how do you fit instructions on a toothpick?
phlipping: they're pretty small
the_white2086: packet of toothpicks
phlipping: well, if you use small enough type, then "Put tooth here -->" would suffice
the_white2086: :))
the_white2086: seriously though
the_white2086: 1) moisten tip gently with tounge
the_white2086: 2) insert between teeth with flat edge next ot gum
the_white2086: 3) use with a gentle in/out rocking motion
phlipping: I don't know what's more sad. That there were instructions on a toothpick packet or that you remember them
#49674
<Vespucci> Ok, how many people with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Cody> Hmm.
<Cody> I can think of a couple of answers to that, but none are particularly funny...
<Vespucci> Wanna play WoW?
<Vespucci> Hmm. I seem to have failed in the delivery of that joke both in speech and print.
<Cody> I got it.
<Cody> And I was going to comment...
<Cody> But I had decided to google ADD jokes to see what punchlines existed for the joke.
<Vespucci> What were you going to comment?
<Vespucci> ahh
<Cody> And I got distracted by the page of ADD jokes.
<Vespucci> lol
<Summoner> lol
<Cody> I think this may be a sign of something. :-(
#310109
<shree> there was a hackerspace in london
<shree> it had IP video cams, that you could point at different stuff, through the website
<shree> I used to go on there
<shree> watch the people
<shree> especially at night - some of them slept there
<shree> they would know I was there because the camera moved
<shree> some of them would cover it with stuff
<shree> it made me feel less lonely though
<shree> I felt like, them covering the camera, is real interaction in a way
Comment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
#102982
<Crab> is it 2007 or 2008?
<Joshwang> 07
<Crab> k
<Crab> I AM IN TOUCH WITH REALITY
#7469
<gage> i drank a beer in the shower today
<christ> dude, you drank a beer in the shower?
<gage> i sho did
<gage> cold beer + hot shower = good
<christ> dude, this is what state OPs is in, we don't have time to drink a
beer like normal people anymore
#3577
<Corranfox> GF?
<metroid23> you'll get it eventually...
<Corranfox> guitar freaks
<blazemore> it's not like it'd stand for girl friend.. this IS #bemani after all