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#32463
<@kisama> WHAT'S UP FAGETS
<rabiator> WHATS UP BICTH
* rabiator was kicked by kisama (ONLY I GET TO BE AN ASSHOLE, BICTH")
#5028
<myles> i jus wanna go to court and b on the plantiff side for once
#295242
<range> duck. Someone stole my d key and replaced it with d.
#17172
* C|3avag3 has quit IRC (Quit: Wh0 Am |? U sure u wanna know? If somebody told u i was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied! This is my gift! It is my curse! Who am |? |'m Spider-Man!!!)
<Seaker> And lamest quit message of the day goes to C|3avag3
* Att|tude^ has quit IRC (Quit: I can't go on, I know not what to do, My heart is worn, I feel as If I'm through, Please believe in me. 'Cause what I need is for you.... To believe in me.)
<Seaker> Woah, tough competition today ... I think today we'll have to call it a draw.
* Love-snack has quit IRC (Quit: Quit playing games with my heart cause baby you're breaking my heart , I LOVE YOU FOREVER XXX)
<Seaker> *DING DING* WE HAVE A WINNER!!
#301428
<DobyMick> god, inglorious bastards is such a sick movie!
<DobyMick> so what if the "good" guys are jewish and the "bad" guys are nazis, its still violence and murder!
<DobyMick> i mean, how would people feel if someone made a movie where the positions were reversed?
<Fulup>They already did. It's called a documentary.
#13541
<MartinBr> LOOK AT MY IDLE!!!
<MartinBr> Uh.... d'oh!
#48027
<Alman> lmao okay so i was at work today and i was running some backstock when I came across this product called "Zatarain's New Orleans Style Dirty Rice"
<Alman> I didn't think much of it until I looked at the directions:
<Alman> "just add water"
#1522
<w3nis> people with down syndrome are all "Hey check us out we have an extra chromosome, weeee, wipe our ass"
#40492
<bda> I need a job where I can get laid in the line of duty.
<beady> teacher?
<claws03> grade school?
Comment: #geekissues
#29306
[23:37:20] <Conjurer> ps1 was great
[23:37:27] <J3anyus> for me to poop on
[23:37:27] <Conjurer> for me to poop on
[23:37:31] <J3anyus> good god
[23:37:33] <J3anyus> that's scary.
#41975
<CXI> shit, I was great at minesweeper
<CXI> I should've been in nam
Comment: #geekissues
#33238
[ @Puddlejumper ] if I sleep, I have no excuse for screwing up at work tomorro
#303788
< the_wench2> Aikar: I removed --spider, but now I get files :(
< d3x> the_wench2, did you mean flies?
#1663
<goltrpoat> 'britney spears' is an anagram for 'presbyterians.'
#6759
<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but anyways..
#161990
<redeyes>The thing about porn is that a) there is a lot of it and b) it isn't going to go away or stop. Do you really need to store a lot of it for archival purposes?
<TTC>It's kinda like getting horny for a girl you used to fuck, and being able to have her nake in front of you instantaneously. And when you're done, she goes the fuck away.
<TTC>Except you never really fucked her and you're probably a serial killer.
#15973
<Fanboy> c00l, 1 l1k3 wr17ing like th1s
<Fanboy> cool.
<PrincessLeia2> heh... fanboy is so 1337
<Fanboy> 1337, what does that mean?
#13295
<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here
#171576
<CrazyJames> I know how not to cook lobster
<CrazyJames> me mother worked for the gas company
<CrazyJames> on a helphone back in the seventies
<CrazyJames> giving out reciepes
<CrazyJames> booking appointments etc
<CrazyJames> someone called her asking how to get the lobsters to stop tapping on the glass of the oven door
#31285
<hep> fo0 is a premature ejaculator?
<G3-Game> cock mizer?
<fo0bar> hep: only when I'm around you
<G3-Game> scrooge mccock?
<kingmob> ewww
<kingmob> that's pretty bad
<dmose> cocksocket
<kingmob> cause remember what scrooge used to do in his money?
<kingmob> like, roll around in it and swim in it and stuff
<kingmob> now i'm picturing...ecccchhh
<kingmob> just...ecchhhh
<willo> with his nephews
<aykroyd> ack! /clear, dammit!!
<kingmob> ecchhhh!
<fo0bar> willo: thank you for further tainting my view of childhood
<ogw-iii> oy
<willo> anytime.
#107607
<TLC> My friend went in for an op on his hand, and they sent him for a shower and to put these paper pants and a gown on.
<TLC> Wondering what that piece of string on the pants was as he struggled to get them on, suddenly a nurse burst in
<TLC> trying to hide his modesty he realised that that bit of string he thought was either on the pants or the gown was the emergency pull cord
#14622
<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume: Domestic Goddess <- Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house
#57655
<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck
#8310
<kat-write> disturb me and suffer castration
<Doppelganger> that almost sounded interesting till I remembered what that meant
#2048
<Birdzii> i've got this fucked rash all over my body
<Morbii> heh
* Slander takes a step back from birdsigh
<Birdzii> heh
<Birdzii> sore throat + rash
<Morbii maybe you're allergic to masturbation
<Morbii> jkjk ;P
<Birdzii> I would have been dead long ago then