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#285772
Betty!: he's engaged?!?!?
Erik: haha i dont know how serious that is
Erik: its facebook, not real life
Erik: i mean if that was true then i'd suddenly have a lot more lesbian friends
#20062
(note! i know the last one i sent you guys was just a copy of what you already had but this one is halarious)
<draito5> 35
<35man> yeah?
<draito5> last night i she dumped me
<draito5> SHE DUMPED ME MAN!!
<35man> Who? Claire?!
<draito5> yea
<35man> Hey listen, I'm really sorry about that, how you holding up?
<draito5> not good bro i nearly killed myself
<35man> awww come on, it can't be that bad.
<draito5> no seriously!!! i was sitting in the bathroom and i
took my razorblade and i was just shaving when i thought, whats the use
and then i seriously started thinking about it
<35man> wow. holy shit. did you end up doin it?
#30177
<@Wumpus> ctrl-f1 drzlebnt=
<@Wumpus> ctrl-f1 setlength? even
<+Raven> drzlebnt?
<+Raven> yes, ctrl-f1 is context help in Borland environments
<@Wumpus> drzlebnt = there's a pizza between me and the keyboard :)
#4175
<METHODZsz> WinME is a app you put on someone elses computer to play a joke on them into thinkin their computer is fucked
#50729
thewhathewhat: I understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why cant paper do this to people? Why arents sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper cant beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When i play rock/ paper/ scissors, i always choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shit, im sorry, I thought paper would protect you."
#2220
<blazemore> where did you find this, sych0
<blazemore> did you just type in "crap" and download whatever came up?
#2159
<blazemore> in afghanistan, people are worried about dying tonight. in the us, i'm worried about completing my mame collection before this site rom site dies.
#10714
<Joe_> <DarkVeng> if you wanna just be a yesman, there are thousands of jobs in corporate amercia that have better hours and better pay for less work <-- where are they?
<Technogeek> Enron.
#33360
<eslice> my little brother is failing english
<eslice> does the dumbass want to stay back?
<Blingo`> is this a trick question?
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#1485
<MrP-> what is wrong with slashdot.org?? I am almost done reading my 1997-2001 Slashdot.org cache CD-ROM set, if I finish and its not back up, I may perish
#46655
<%PortoRob> i had a lot of spare time in algebra
<%spock1104> lol
<%PortoRob> i also made programs that did out the problems for you, and sold them to people in the class
<%PortoRob> they would try and cheat me though and only one would buy it and transfer it to others
<%PortoRob> so I developed a copyright system on TI83
<%PortoRob> it involved hidden lists and keys
<%spock1104> there's a way to limit it to the calculator ID
<%PortoRob> and if you didn't have the right key, all of the answers were just random numbers
<%PortoRob> the first test i did that on, people weren't very happy with me
Comment: #WPI
#301020
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np!
#7194
<nit`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
<NGN-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick
#33775
<O`Slice> silicon, get your dremel
<O`Slice> i need to get my teeth fixed
<O`Slice> can you make killer designs on my teeth?
<O`silicon> hmm
<O`Slice> and then place a window on my cheeks
<O`Slice> so all can see
<O`Slice> and have LEDs
<O`silicon> how about a 80mm fan for hot food/drinks
<O`Slice> yes
<O`Slice> i was thinking of watercooling it
<O`Slice> but whatever you can do
<O`Live> large fans with fan blades made up of smaller fans
#295242
<range> duck. Someone stole my d key and replaced it with d.
#32084
<{LD}> roses are red
<{LD}> violets are blue
<{LD}> in soviet russia
<{LD}> poems write you
#8471
<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit?
<sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
<mmm> i do that
<mmm> "oh god"
#16541
** Moses is now known as Cain....
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro ....
<KeeperS> ....
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible ....
* KeeperS is moved to tears
#23380
<Arrgh> hmmm... i need to write my own matrix code
<Harrison> Yes, Arrgh!
<Harrison> Then you can subjugate the entire human population!
<Harrison> Except for a small number of upstarts who'll wind up totally ruining your plans.
<Harrison> One of them will be a terrible actor.
<Arrgh> naw, that has a scale thats much too big
<Arrgh> i'll have to just subjugate all of you gys
<Harrison> Can I be the bad actor?
<Arrgh> i dunno, you need to audition!
<Harrison> Ok ok ok. How's this...
<Harrison> "Whoa."
<Arrgh> you're hired!
#43499
< ix> ive never seen a girl who was good at a first person shooter.
< ix> other games ive seen girls be good at, though.
< ix> like friggin sims 2.. my sister manages like 18 sims at once. :O
<@Volsus> like the Sims?
<@Volsus> haha
< ix> shes so good at it.
<@Volsus> how did I know
< ix> cause that's like the only game girls are good at
<@Volsus> My mom got a papercut while playing solitaire on the computer
<@Volsus> I was like wtf
Comment: #maddox
#297665
<Strengths> I have this huge zit on the side of my nose :/
<subcontinental> Paint it gold or silver and it'll look like a peircing
<Strengths> that's ... brilliant!
#9262
Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't.
Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't!!!!
#50384
<gpstratomaster> yea, but i make 15.63 an hour and i'm not complaining...
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> I make approximately 3425 an hour, but our currency is devalued by unfair trade restrictions, and so i am really quite poor
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> my spirit, however, is indominable!
<gpstratomaster> good for you!!!
<gpstratomaster> what do you do?
<gpstratomaster> for a job
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> i work in factory for Tyco
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> i make toys for small, disobedient American children
<gpstratomaster> nice...i had a r/c car when i was little
#12112
<zfact0r> I was playing Monopoly last night when I was drunk and I paid a chick 500 bucks in Monopoly Money for a blowjob.
#6547
<Soulphonat> My cat only speaks in analog
<Soulphonat> it's cute