Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#38932
<ridder[A]> hey did i tell you about the commentary i heard during the olympic rowing?
<ridder[A]> the germans won and the commentator goes
<ridder[A]> "they won because they had a superior race plan"
<ridder[A]> think about it
#56161
<Apophis> "marry such women as seem good to you, 2, 3, or 4, or if you fear you will not do justice (between them) then marry only one or what your right hand possesses"
<Apophis> am I correct in understanding this Koran passage to say, "Marry 2, 3, or 4 hot babes, or, if you can't handle them, either marry just one of them, or jerk off."
<Apophis> if so, I could get used to islam.
<olaf> lol
<Apophis> its win-win
<Apophis> either I get multiple hot babes, or I can masturbate without sinning
#80422
NatNic1: HALLELUJAH!
NatNic1: or however you do the letters in that word thing
F 7 Y: rofl what
NatNic1: ya know
NatNic1: whats it called
NatNic1: oh
NatNic1: spelling
#246478
<celeste> that is my least favorite thing in the whole world
<ilanbg> what?
<celeste> that everytime i try to be intimidating or mean you just think it's cute!
<ilanbg> dude, how did you think calling me a "meany butt" could be intimidating or mean
#28469
<jerico> Startship troopers is my favorite movie. I think I know every line. It would be sick if they made a game for it.
<darksage> You must be the anti-christ, we've been waiting for you.
#41475
<Re2k4> wonder how many of those dumbass drug dealers have traded dope for blowjobs from him
<Mike_3486> gah
<Mike_3486> I'm trying to eat a cadbury egg here
<Mike_3486> Dont talk about tranny BJs
<Re2k4> does it have the usual come-like filling?
<Mike_3486> yes
<Re2k4> ok. carry on.
<Mike_3486> i hate you
#194565
<protospork> I just clicked on a random image link in a conversation about cocks
<protospork> man that was smart
#9222
<Al> vasectomy is a foolish barbarism
<Al> it would be completely unnecessary is men weren't so stupid to keep having sex with women
<jre|away> It's not that. The odd sperm cell can cling to air particles and accidentally get sucked into a passing vagina
<Vodex> like an extraction fan but in reverse
<Al> damn those vaginas, is there no depravity they will not commit
#6924
<zed> I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER I LIKE TOAST AND JAM SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING AND THATS WHY I LIKE CRACK
<zed> IIIII LOVE CRACK
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY BACK
<zed> ALMOST AS MUCH AS IIIIIII LOVE EGGS
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY LEGS
<zed> BUT I DONT REALLY LOVE EGGS
<zed> WELL, I LOVE THEM, BUT IN THE WAY A MAN WOULD LOVE A FINE CUBAN CIGAR
<Nelson> zed; wtf song is that?
<zed> Nelson, IT'S EGG PROPAGANDA MUSIC
#12164
<Guyp> unreal uses the Super Mario Bros. engine
#51430
CannonSpiker0023: So there I was the last man on my paintball team
MPike: wow, you do paintball?
CannonSpiker0023: Taking head from these guys who were hiding behind some boxes across the street
MPike: cool
MPike: wait
MPike: what?
CannonSpiker0023: HEAT
CannonSpiker0023: I MEANT HEAT
MPike: Is "paintball team" some kind of code?
CannonSpiker0023: STFU
MPike: For "gay sex group"?
CannonSpiker0023: GAWD IT WAS A TYPO
SRYelznik: Or was it?
CannonSpiker0023: GAH
#8771
<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want
#36221
<_Dim_> w0000t, just got an email with a picture taken by a mobilephone
<_Dim_> the fun part is, it's an image of the test im getting tomorrow :D
#39169
<ducklord> I just told my mom that my sheets were victim of a penis-related accident
<ducklord> and she didn't react in any other way then saying: "ok, I'll clean them"
Comment: #geekissues
#51077
(@yt): i need something that symbolises my alter-ego. Bowler hat, briefcase, umberella, monacle
(@yt): etc
(rocksicle): your alter-ego is the penguin?
#314
<WhiteAWAY> someone told me trance music makes you sterile
#13947
<KidDynamite> my tribes2 updater is out of date and i need to update my updater
#33488
<drdank> Wil's not gay!
<goatasaur> yeah
<goatasaur> he drew tits on my back before he fucked me in the ass
Comment: #fark
#306718
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
#16749
<Phillip`> i just had starbucks coffee
<K_Russell> join #someonewhocares :(
<Phillip`> no one is there :(
#6956
<friction> hey hey.
<Turbovec> yo yo yo flapjack
<friction> i... don't know what that means.
<Turbovec> its raper talk, you're not supposed to understand dawg ;-)
<FlipTopBox> Turbovec: i believe you either mean "rapper" or "rapist". considering the context, i'm supposing the first.
#38655
retry: you cyber at work?
maddox: all the time.. it's like a massive orgy in my cubicle, except I'm usually the only one there so it's just masturbation.
#3502
<Butters> this girl I'm talking to on AIM just tried out her new "pink panther"
<chowda> Butters: I'm sure "she" did :)
#23839
<manmanandboyboy> date syllabus check
<d00fus> dinner, movie, then snuggling
<munbty> carnival, cotton candy, and then moonlight stroll
<soccy_pants> drugs, rape, 2 hour police chase
#27818
<Redback> when i win lotto im gonna buy a dual g5 and not use it just to spite all the mac users that cant afford one
* Redback = bastard