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#1225
[timmo] i liked the great gatsby movie
[timmo] because gatsby was harrison ford
[timmo] and i cant pass up an opertunity
[timmo] to see him get shot
#304670
<@Digga> that's only because if you leave dirty socks on the carpet for long enough they start smelling of carpet and not socks and you can wear them again :D
#16008
<eX|chika|afk> BTW how was Singapore ?
<eX|chika|afk> get any cool shit while u were over there, like HIV or Herpies ?
#16144
<GimpMaster> why the hell i'm i on ignore :o
<Vxie> and i wont till he apoligizes for his actions...
<SovanJedi> How can he apologise if you can't even hear him? ;)
<GimpMaster> hah
<Vxie> i dunno
<GimpMaster> ask him what i did :o
<Vxie> thats what im trying to figure out...
<SovanJedi> Gimp is asking 'what did I do?'
<Vxie> i asked him to stop cussing infront of my lil sis and he didnt stop
<GimpMaster> is that it? fuck the sand monkey. i don't care
<SovanJedi> Gimp says 'I'm very sorry for my actions, and he won't do it again.'
<Vxie> ok
<GimpMaster> LOL
#57847
(Goat25) what is the volume of a pizza of radius z and thickness a ?
(Goat25) answer: pi z z a
#43795
<R3mix> my social studies teachers computer crashed today and she got the ever-too-common "program has performed an illegal operation" message
<R3mix> so a few minuted later she was on the phone with the network admin and she was saying
<R3mix> "my computer says i have performed an illegal abortion"
#51430
CannonSpiker0023: So there I was the last man on my paintball team
MPike: wow, you do paintball?
CannonSpiker0023: Taking head from these guys who were hiding behind some boxes across the street
MPike: cool
MPike: wait
MPike: what?
CannonSpiker0023: HEAT
CannonSpiker0023: I MEANT HEAT
MPike: Is "paintball team" some kind of code?
CannonSpiker0023: STFU
MPike: For "gay sex group"?
CannonSpiker0023: GAWD IT WAS A TYPO
SRYelznik: Or was it?
CannonSpiker0023: GAH
#61277
Hekili_Manu Ok. So I called my bank's fraud dept about that hotels.com letter I got since I apparently used them twice with two different cards. I forgot completely that when I signed up you can assign your own security question online.
Hekili_Manu So when I called and spoke to the guy they use the same security question and he asked me "Ok, I just need to verify one thing. How big is your c**k?"
Hekili_Manu It took me a moment to remember that and I was like "Uh....."
#10726
<FuriousG> shan|bbl
<FuriousG> you there?
<FuriousG> guess not
<FuriousG> but, one day, you will be there, and then, then... you will be at my mercy, and i will not be benevolent
<FuriousG> *sigh*
<FuriousG> i need to get out more.
#16488
<@SpamapS> he was just a complete asshole to me last night... and then was talking shit about it after I left
<@Redb3ard> dude, i didnt see it haappen
<@SpamapS> I was arguing with him that ReiserFS was better for directory lookups, because it used b-trees to store meta data...
<@SpamapS> so he's like .. "Do you even know what a b-tree is?" ... I told him to kiss my ass...
<@SpamapS> He says "I have my algorithms and data structures book here... so tell me what a b-tree is"...
<@Redb3ard> um
<@Redb3ard> you do realize, that this finalizes your geekhood
<@SpamapS> At which point, I told him I didn't need this crap anymore and went to bed...
<@Redb3ard> there is no turning back, its irreversible, ta this late stage
#52794
<Haplo> Just in case you guys didn't believe me yet.
<Haplo> The client bringing the desserts and drinks for the party just showed up.
<Haplo> This is an office of TWELVE PEOPLE.
<Haplo> And he brought:
<Haplo> two cakes, a cheesecake sampler, two bags of Lindt truffles, one of those large containers of cookies from the grocery store, two containers of fudge (one peanut-butter), mini-cupcakes, and four bags of assorted holiday candy (Twix, Crunch, Kisses, etc)
<AdP> Wow. That's a sugar coma waiting to happen.
<Fusilliban> Yes, and I must claim it as mine.
<tanuki> IS THERE A DENTIST IN THE HOUSE?
<Haplo> We're next door to the dental school yes.
<tanuki> Haplo: sure they didn't bribe the guy into bringing that much sugar?
* tanuki grumbles about his missing pastamastery
<Haplo> Actually tanuki, the point is that the guy is trying to bribe US to buy more of his products.
<AdP> Yeah, from the spread, I'm guessing the client is in the insulin business.
#15782
<Mew49> shutup broadband bastard
<joober> i dont have broad band
<joober> i have cable
#56577
<@Stupid_0> Never compromise your principles, except to get laid or if there's a chance of a pay rise.
#29846
<blitzHOME> YOU ALSO CAN'T EAT BUNG WITHOUT GETTING POTTY MOUTH
<blitzHOME> HA HA HA I JUST MADE THAT UP
<blitzHOME> i'm lonely
#38173
* Ozmo thinks half the sound effects in DBZ are done by shoving large stones up the rear ends of the voice actors and then telling them to try to get them out without using their hands...
Comment: #anime-shack
#16657
<@drew> saceist is a kind of person who always has that dumb look on his face.
<@saceist> huh?
#1633
<Defect> i've sworn off dating to the point where my mother's inquiries as to whether or not i'm gay are getting frustratingly more frequent.
<harb> Defect : Haha.
<harb> I hate that.
<harb> My mom asked me ONCE.. and I just started laughing.
<harb> And then went back to my David Hasslehoff shrine.
<Defect> she visited me a couple weekends ago and we went out to dinner, she had a few drinks and said "You can tell me if you're gay you know, i'm drunk now, i can take it."
#29803
<TiTaN> "If it smells like cheap cologne don't touch it.
<TiTaN> " - |darc|
<|darc|> Yup.
<TiTaN> wtf does that mean >_>
<|darc|> She might be a whore.
<|darc|> There's an ancient word passed down from generation to generation. It goes something like this: If it smells like fish, eat as you wish; if it smells like cologne, leave it alone.
<Kenichi> If someone is gay, stick your hardened penis up their asshole and make love with them.
<Kenichi> - Kenichi
Comment: #dcemu
#9406
<vim> heh, no wonder i cant hear shit... trying to play this damn redhat cd.
#8249
* IllIIIllI (yujnfr@24.66.112.129) has joined #suicide
<IllIIIllI> any slut attention whores here need a man to make themselves feel important let me know i can be that guy if you aren't ugly/fat
* IllIIIllI (yujnfr@24.66.112.129) has left #suicide
#11690
<Temujin> What class are phoenixes?
<Lewk> Water pokemon
<Temujin> We made up a pokémon today at school.
<Temujin> It's called the "Mexican".
<Temujin> It shoots dirty food and water at you.
<Temujin> And it's special skill is making 15,000 babies and stealing jobs away from people
<Nighters> Temujin you racist bugger.
<Temujin> "Mexican, I choose you! CROSS THE BORDER ATTACK!"
#1327
* Cybertrx is 5'3, 198 pounds, ugly, balding, highly skilled programmer. All my shirts are yellow with cumstains. I am seeking a tall, gorgeous, stunningly hot babe in her early 20s with an amazing rack and thick luxurious blond hair. /msg me
#6124
<lsd> argh
<lsd> fucking cunty sql server
<lsd> apparently my Distrubution Agent is 'suspect'
<lsd> what? it's doing covert ops for the CIA?
#207696
<@nalle-> css <3
<@gatan> cs <3
<@exz_> c <3
#300865
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other