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#16123
<|3itch> MY WOULD BE SISTER WAS AN ABORTION I WISH SHE WASNT THOUGH
<Funk> I WAS an abortion. I'm just very stubborn.
<Fishfood> i was probably not wanted
<Funk> You're not wanted NOW
<Fishfood> but who cares! IM HERE NOW AND READY FOR LOVE!
<wildkarrdex> I live in the perpetual fear that my parents will abort me
#40333
<+HauntedUnix> Heard there's been an open-source explosion in Florida...
<+Nimbus> Oh?
<+HauntedUnix> Well no one there has Windows anymore..
#305335
-!- sycobuny[telnet] [~sycobuny@cloak.hsd1.md.comcast.net] has joined #malkier
< sycobuny[telnet]> hi
< sycobuny[telnet]> it turns out there are no irc clients installed on larry's machine
< sycobuny[telnet]> typing the raw IRC still works though!
#21281
PegLegPete PM: yo
PegLegPete PM: you there?
PolishPWRHaus: yea
PegLegPete PM: come over
PegLegPete PM: we're playing poker
PolishPWRHaus: nice
PolishPWRHaus: what time
PegLegPete PM: when everybody gets here
PolishPWRHaus: so when should i head over
PegLegPete PM: ...
#20113
<scabb> I AM AN OBESE AMERICAN.
<scabb> AN AMERICAN, IN OTHER WORDS
<scabb> I'M SCARED OF CAFFEINE!
<scabb> ARGH! THE COFFEE WILL GIVE ME HEART ATTACKS!
<scabb> THE LARD THAT I EAT WON'T, BUT COFFEE WILL
<scabb> 17 BIG MACS! BUT HOLD THE COFFEE! CAFFEINE GIVES ME HEART ATTACKS!
#4733
<Guilty> Jees its going to be 48 tomorrow
<Guilty> I thought I was done with waring a jacket
<Guilty> But apparently not
<maff> you go outside?
#10749
<davidc> we will set you up a refuse where you can make PHP5 if you ever have to flee the country!
<[Rizz]> start a fund "bring zeev to the UK"
<@Zeev> I'd rather die than make PHP 5.0, thank you :)
#23513
<Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
<Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex I'll get"
<Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I remember how that happened"
#2819
<neck> i no longer wear tshirts
<neck> oh, wtf am i talking about, i have on on as i speak
#38911
 Duff: man it's cool how the walking trees fuckup the white wizards tower
Name|ess: if lotr never existed and Duff said that
Name|ess: I would want your acid
#39025
<Rayne> Argh... If I get another piece of spam offering to enlarge my penis I'm gonna take a fucking picture of it and e-mail it back to them.
<mOdac> Rayne, you'll just get more
#34209
<Pookablu> Ron Dwight, the author of the RAR compression format, passed away a few days ago.
<ev> he was found in several same-size pieces and had to be combined to put him in the coffin
#5473
<ExCon> ihave one wish b4 i goto army rho :)
<ExCon> op for 1 day :D
<[SuN]> im not that soft :P
<ExCon> what if i die and never come back ?;D
<[SuN]> ill make a bot called ExCon and give it ops
<ExCon> oh..i feel honored
<ExCon> :D
<[SuN]> ;)
#44809
<laid_back> haha man get this so my brother got suspended from school today
<teqman> what did he do
<duffman> what did he do
<laid_back> cause he says to one kid "hey would you have sex with a fat kid" and this other kid goes "no why" and then my brother goes "cause nash (another kid) is really desperate"
<laid_back> so nash say "tell it to the teacher"
<laid_back> and my brother goes "hey mister smith would you have sex with a fat kid" and the teacher got this weird look on his face and ran down to the office and told the principal
<laid_back> and so the principal is talking to my brother and he says "you were insinuating that mr smith was a child molester" and my broither goes "NO, what insinuated that he was a child molester was the way he reacted"
<laid_back> so they suspended him
Comment: #system on irc.dal.net
#308208
<Sebas> I typed "aO" and sat wondering why it didn't turn into an @ for at least five seconds
<Sebas> I should probably sleep
#3223
<[prefix]> hahahah
<[prefix]> I just read the funniest shit
<[prefix]> this guy's sister got her laptop stolen, so her brother broke into it and replaced the dialup phone number for the ISP to his phone #
<[prefix]> when the person dialed it up he had their name on the caller ID went over to their house, took it back, and kicked their ass
#311132
<l0de> I've done that before. I made a script that cycled through
<l0de> 8==D ( )
<l0de> 8(=)
<l0de> while listening to Björk. But it was probably the lowest point in my life.
#24440
<seth> Dammit, I've had hiccups for the past TWO HOURS!
<icon> Have you tried $USELESS_REMEDY?
<seth> I've tried all @USELESS_REMEDIES!
#6322
ted: woman plus invisible man = the perfect porn
craig: Actually, woman + visible woman is the perfect porn, but this is a close second.
#2495
<CompGod> If crime doesn't pay, is my job illegal?
#5739
* Now talking in #freeciv
* Topic is '<nouja> when i'm tired i start to type "feeciv" <patrix> feeciv: cause civilizationought to make you more money!'
#3075
(Arwen`) spell check on the serch engin is so nice :)
#40752
<WillDeed> god damn I'm smooth
<WillDeed> so I went to 7-11 to buy a pack of smokes
<WillDeed> and the chick starts flirting with me because
<WillDeed> well
<WillDeed> you know
<WillDeed> she pulls down a pack, hides it, and says "sorry, we're out of those *giggle*"
<WillDeed> and I tried to laugh without laughing to show courtesy but to show it wasn't funny
<WillDeed> and it came out as a snort
<WillDeed> and the rest of the transaction was made in silence
<WillDeed> and I kinda ran into the door when I was leaving
<WillDeed> <- smooth
#32680
<Zero|> I may be a bitch, but we all know you suck cock for Teletubbies dolls.
<Col-Psycho`SS2> YAY! FRESH SUPPLY OF TISSUES!
<c0bra> I caught my mom masturbating once
<Devion> O_o
Comment: this all happened AT THE SAME TIME
#147598
<Smokey> there's a pizza hut down the street from here, but it's across state border so they won't deliver it
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3