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#923
<reptile-> black is pry my favorite color for clothing. =/
<MadHatter> are you still fat
#38
<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window.
#33836
<eslice_> does anyone know anything about tiles
<eslice_> i'm trying to reapply the grout
<jonathans> they're cold
<jonathans> and when i put my balls on them, they're really cold.
<eslice_> thanks! that's all i needed
<jonathans> try putting the grout on your balls. i dont know.
<eslice_> fuck this
#17863
<WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
<mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
<mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
<mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan
#7421
<WargasM> i like chocolate
<WargasM> it makes me think of boobies
<WargasM> i wonder if you could make a woman lactate chocolate milk, if the DNA was just right
#305793
<jenni> i should apparently empty my sofa more often
<jenni> i found a laptop i didn't remember i owned
#152145
<jaminkle> my friends asked me out to a club last night
<jaminkle> and i said ill go if they are going to play good music
<jaminkle> they were like yeah its trance night so i was like ok sweet
<Wabbit98> and it was gay music?
<jaminkle> we walk in there and it was 80's night and Rick Astley was playing
<jaminkle> i got fucking rick rolled!
#300711
<Xagor> I just bought some ice cream and booze. Trying both the masculine AND feminine ways of getting over an aborted relationship :(
#34730
<SubLimeR> thank god for neighbors
<SubLimeR> i was watching tv a few hours earlier and i fell asleep
<SubLimeR> the kids came home from school and i had the door locked
<SubLimeR> and i didn't hear it because i'm a really heavy sleeper, and i wake up and i yell "OMG WHERE ARE THE KIDS?!"
<SubLimeR> so i call next door to ask if they've seen them and my buddy's wife says, "yeah dipshit you locked your god damn kids out"
Comment: ah the simple joys of parenting
#311675
<worf_> ... FML
<worf_> "how to prevent Edge from reopening a page after a crash?"
<worf_> 1. unplug your ethernet cable and disable your wifi connection
<worf_> 2. start edge, which wont be able to load the page that is causing the crash because there is no internet connection
<worf_> 3. close the offending tab
#36307
<Popeye> my brother was talking to one of his friends
<Popeye> and he told them I used linux
<Popeye> and the guy asked if linux was a club drug
#26283
<Dzza> i sometimes roleplay as a ninja
<Dzza> i wasnt very popular in highschool =/
#113649
<dewdude> last time i made chili it was on a sunday
<dewdude> and i was in the store, 9 in the morning
<dewdude> buying a six pack
<dewdude> and chili mixins
<dewdude> and people were like "have you no shame?"
<dewdude> and i'm like "it's for the chili"
<dewdude> once i told the stuck-up old lady in her church clothes the beer was for chili she shut-up
<dewdude> then her husband was like '
<dewdude> "what kind of peppers you usin?"
<dewdude> ... bastard took my chili recipie
#62110
<Oyerth> You bastard.
<Oyerth> I don't want your pr0n!
<OBCT> ='(
<Oyerth> I'm sorry.
<Oyerth> I'm sure your pr0n is lovely.
#9152
<Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
<Falcon24> ok
<ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc
#302136
<@CESSMASTA> "rape risk rise for cambodia women"
<@CESSMASTA> i like alliteration and all but that headline strikes me as a tad unprofessional
<@dbelange> Cambodian Cooch Caper Count Climbing
#33360
<eslice> my little brother is failing english
<eslice> does the dumbass want to stay back?
<Blingo`> is this a trick question?
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#128138
<Options> well, guess my parents dont want me playing phoenix wright in the house anymore :(
<Sylon[DMS]|Around> throw your DS in their face and yell OBJECTION!
<Options> that is....AN AWESOME IDEA
#31
<EM[mMF]> man
<EM[mMF]> unix manuals would be so much cooler
<EM[mMF]> if they had porn in them
<EM[mMF]> like "Basics of the Bash Shell"
<EM[mMF]> <LESBIAN PORN>
<EM[mMF]> i'd read that shit
#25582
<IDK> She sure didn't look 15 dancing around in her underwear.
<mothoc> that's probably why your friend was arrested
<IDK> The moral is, beware Russian/Eastern European accents.
<IDK> Apparently, the fall of the Soviet Union caused the world market to be flooded with weapons-grade jailbait.
#25129
<ignatz> If you piss off enough people, it's hard to tell the difference between a distributed denial of service attack and public opinion.
#4816
<kanin> if (User->HasAppropriateBook()) { while (User->LacksClue()) { User->ReadAppropriateBook(); } }
else { while(User->HasNotGottenAppripriateBook()) {User->StumbleAroundHalfAssedInTheDark(); User->WhineOnIRC(); } }
#40009
<MouseTrapBob3749> Dude i think my dog is stoned
<Sanchezisgod> wut the hell? y in the hell would u think that?
<MouseTrapBob3749> dude hes obviously stoned man he keeps talking to me!
#3810
<Scofco> i used to have wet dreams about carmen sandiego
#33754
<phoxxy> i was on the phone with a company for my business that was in Tennesee. the guy was trying to tell me information over the phone. i aksed if they had a website and he goes "Well, I didn't offer to give you our website information because I didn't think you had internet in Indiana."
* phoxxy was like WTF!?
* phoxxy has a T1 in her home mother fucker
<Puchu> indiana has no internet
<GorgeousOrifice> Indiana's all backwards and shit
<phoxxy> when I told the guy I had a T1 at home, he goes "Is that like dial-up?"
Comment: logged on #fark