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#33818
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
#5755
<@zartik> i just banned someone from #freebsdhelp
<@zartik> and he msg's me:
<@zartik> -06:46- [ hegemon ] So I have nobody to turn to and must go back to Windows.
<@madog> should be nice and unban him, thats evil to make him use windows =<
#64822
[DAY] Trinexx: I saw the most awesome Windows error today: "A malicious program has attempted to shut down Windows. As a precaution, Windows was shut down."
#148
<DigDug> did you /ctcp digdug op yourpass?
<blazep88> wtf does "yourpass" do?
#49559
<Jakl> oh god that was not good
<Jakl> okay so my balls were itching right
<rat> I don't like the way this is sounding...
<Jakl> they wouldn't quit so i went into my wifes bathroom and got some anti-itch cream
<Jakl> i squeeze some out of the tube and apply it to my sack
<Jakl> it starts burning, and within seconds i feel like my balls are going to melt off
<Jakl> istarted screaming and my wife ran in and was like "what's wrong?!"
<Jakl> i explain my situation and she starts cracking up
<Jakl> as i'm standing there nearly in tears she grabs the tubee and points to the ingredients
<Jakl> the cream was mentholated
<rat> rofl
<Jakl> my nuts are still burning even after a shower
<Jakl> but the itching stopped
#256043
<GargajCNS> i'm going to fucking kill myself right now so i can submerge to hell and work there for years to get a promotion, so by the time other people die, i'll be in a position to torture their fucking souls for getting on my fucking nerves at work
#55995
<Trai`Hwork> you know, 'real' communism is acctually a really good form of government...
<Trai`Hwork> atleast, that's what civ 2 told me
#7161
<KINGofEXTREME> i forgot cars come in manual man
<KINGofEXTREME> my friend starts changing gears
<KINGofEXTREME> im like what are you doing
<KINGofEXTREME> didnt know what was going on
#9116
<^cell^> he was one of those people that had to make multiple objects.. like.. he makes 1 tree, so he says "lets give him a little friend" and at the end there is like 50 trees and like 3000 squirrels
#44161
<Areku> No wait, you don't understand
<Areku> I'm the incest guy here
<Areku> *nicest
<Areku> ... BAD typo
Comment: gaming.windfyre.net #SN-Sync
#898
<timmo> make me dumplings
<timmo> and some grit
<Fustard> grits*
<Fustard> grit would be dirt, tim
<timmo> no zach im watchin my weight i only want one grit
#6484
<luna> okay okay, so it *probably* isn't going to snow, but i can
<luna> imagine it!
<roland> well, if we're imagining, i can imagine buxom women will fall
<roland> from the sky like sexy hailstones.
#306411
-*- StoneCypher just found out that one of his favorite and one of his least favorite pieces of software are basically made by the same guy :(
<StoneCypher> PrinceXML and Opera.
<StoneCypher> i mean seriously, it's like finding out that hitler also saved eight million people from an asteroid
#8296
Under the fence: if your mom were a farm animal, she'd be a sloth
Hobbes659: a sloth isn't a farm animal
Under the fence: damn it, theres gotta be a sloth farm somewhere around here
#54252
<minion> a kid tried to kill himself today at school
<legoman> tried? what went wrong?
<minion> he tried to hang himself and the rafter broke
<legoman> what sort of shoddy-ass structure was he in?
<legoman> a tent?
#60940
<@Rjx> i still wonder why vegetarians aren't more pissed at animals
<@Rjx> i mean your average lion eats far more meat in a day than i do
#4027
<RokChik> just had my first mammogram and anytime you flatten anything that much, it just ain't ever going back to being fluffy and firm again. I just may sue.
#18236
<Sniperwolf> Im intending to whip you with meh cat5 if you dont shut up!
#295273
<%Friedrich_Engels> i'm fairly convinced a ghost did not steal your weed
#21018
<dylan> anyone know where i can get the new deftones album?
<zomb> dylan, FYE or best buy
<zomb> should have it
<dylan> do they have ftp?
#33277
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet
Comment: #fark
#46339
<oneTraicovn> I still think that the porn domain should have been .cum and not .xxx
#7215
<geekster> mossibly
<geekster> that's most poccibly, but it went thru a horible translation from brain to fingers
<geekster> ARSE!!
#33681
<BD_Hektor[movie]> how do i go about uninstalling wmp?
<Uranus> you need a priest, a cross and some holy water
#300865
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other