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#7484
<Chrizto> this unix shit is never going to catch on at this rate.
#3389
<Ad0> anyone got monsters inc?
<Ad0> my gf wants to see it
<Idler> Ad0: No, but I got a monster in my pants
<Idler> and I bet your girlfriend wants to see that
#11780
<MED1C> i bet they got their degree from the same vending machine
#2604
<zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji
#34302
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> It's like a book report from Hell
<Mayseth> Sounds like alot of writing, I'll get you started.
<Mayseth> Page 1: It was short, and boring. Losing interest to read book.
<Mayseth> page 2: Still boring. I fell asleep. Will continue in the morning.
<Mayseth> Page 2.5: God this book sucks.
<Mayseth> Page 3: I downloaded the rest of this report off the internet. Enjoy.
#81636
<wasabi> 0_0
<wasabi> gonna be one fucker of a day
<jeeb> howso?
<wasabi> walked past the server room...
<wasabi> The boss was sitting in there with a box of sphagetti noodles...
<wasabi> slowly pushing one in at a time into the server fan on an old P3 system
<wasabi> giggling like a school girl while the fan made this horrendously loud, high-pitched sawing sound
<wasabi> noodle shrapnel flying back at his black suite (covered in it)
<wasabi> That's why...
<jeeb> 0_0
#33163
<goatasaur> that reminds me of the health spa that was giving a deal on "champagne facials"
<goatasaur> and i thought, "if that isn't the name of a porn site, it should be"
Comment: #fark on irvingnet
#294961
[jenna] *hsus: hey i got a question
Rask: yes
[jenna] *hsus: i thought hawaii was like, warm? and alaska was like cold? so how is that since they're right beside each other?
Rask: is this a real question
[jenna] *hsus: yeah, why?
[jenna] *hsus: ive always wondered that.
Rask: like are you being serious
[jenna] *hsus: like sarah palin was always like ohh alaska is cold i shoot moose and i can see russia...
[jenna] *hsus: but then hawaii is all like warm and shit with little chubby chicks belly dancing.
Rask: worldmap
[jenna] *hsus: so i was like, they're so close together, how is the... uhm, climate or w/e so different?
Rask: see where hawaii is?
Rask: see that part off canada that says USA?
Rask: thats alaska.
Rask: its like, six thousand miles away from here
[jenna] *hsus: oh god.
[jenna] *hsus: this is like that time i thought new england was like a... place beside england... kinda like new mexico and mexico... but new england is really a bunch of states.
[jenna] *hsus: everytime they're on a map they're right beside eachother though
Rask: you should probably spend awhile staring at this map
[jenna] *hsus: That bitch is lying ,you cant see russia from alaska, not possible.
[jenna] *hsus: unless it wraps around or something?
Rask: are you saying the world is flat
[jenna] *hsus: wait so do you like have the same president we do?
[jenna] *hsus: no. i mean i think its round.
Rask: this is a joke right
[jenna] *hsus: dude. i quit school.
[jenna] *hsus: wtf do you think
Rask: in 2nd grade?
[jenna] *hsus: uhhh, we dont have map studying in school anymoree
Rask: the world is round yes
#69910
<@Sid> see
<@Sid> it's possible that she wasn't killed on the third
<@Sid> and she met up with hans reiser a coupla days later
<@HrdwrBoB> true
<@Sid> and he killed her to death in the passenger seat of his honda
<@HrdwrBoB> or transported the body
<@HrdwrBoB> unlikely death in car
<@HrdwrBoB> it would have been messy
<@Sid> then laid the bits of corpse out in the woods in a nice b-tree, for O(log(n)) retrieval later
Comment: irc.ragingfist.net
#283880
Her: please answer honestly, yes or no, k?
Him: Go on.
Her: why do people make fun of blondes?
Him: Yes.
#35016
<zaney> how tall is arnald
<zaney> from t2
<zaney> i cant spell his last name
<HomerJ> zaney : can't spell his first name either
#1224
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> from age 0-4 was like, playskool toys
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 5-13 was nintendo and sega
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 14-present IRC
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> that was my life in a nutshell
<LkAway1> * blazemore is now known as SonGohanX
#307315
<cansado> decode this while i poop: dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch
<jph> jph@hellcat:[ttys005]:~/Downloads$ echo dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch | base64 -d ; echo
<jph> uh oh, my anus is dilating!
<jph> cans: fuck you
#36909
<Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a chick came up to me.. kissed me, squeezed my balls, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wtf?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I realized the bitch had stolen my cellphone =(
#441
<syrup> i need to leech while i sleep
<syrup> otherwise i don't sleep well
#42786
<ToxicNed> Went to pick up the double pack of GTA3 and GTA:VC, and some woman was going to buy GTA:SA for her 7 year old. She asks me if it's appropriate for kids, so I pointed out the M rating on it. She still appeared to not get it, so I explained that there's strong language, violence, drug trafficing, gang warfare, and sex with prostitutes in the game.
<ToxicNed> So she looks at her son and says "I don't know if I should get this for you..." but held onto it anyway. As she's walking towards the front of the store, I hear the kid say "But I won't fuck any hookers, Mom."
Comment: #offtopic
#5473
<ExCon> ihave one wish b4 i goto army rho :)
<ExCon> op for 1 day :D
<[SuN]> im not that soft :P
<ExCon> what if i die and never come back ?;D
<[SuN]> ill make a bot called ExCon and give it ops
<ExCon> oh..i feel honored
<ExCon> :D
<[SuN]> ;)
#33223
<g6|agbd|kma> sure, he's innocent on all charges, didn't you know that?
<g6|agbd|kma> I mean, the httpd logs show him logging as phpbb admin
<g6|agbd|kma> then backing up the forums
<g6|agbd|kma> then douching them, all from his ip
<g6|agbd|kma> so it MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE
#34305
<Slew> I tried to calculate how many times better firefox was than IE, but my calculator broke
Comment: #ZFGC @ metal.shellux.net
#693
n e r d b 5: what in the hell
n e r d b 5: im not a registered staples user
n e r d b 5: what do i do?
e l i t e m r p: register
#13731
<Otto[half-a-always]> I made AI smarter than George W. Bush with 47 events
#2310
<CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..
<CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience... soon......
<CYBORG> i need brave partener....
<CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........
#5406
*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated. by the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow..."'
#2121
*** atnnn (atnnn@hv-hs-37-38.aei.ca) has joined #winprog
<atnnn> hi
<atnnn> what is the code for "+" on WM_KEYDOWN
<Wy4tt> VK_RTM
<atnnn> and minus?
<Wy4tt> VK_RTFM
<atnnn> i can't find it
#308447
<nathan> I think % is secretly the symbol for a titfuck