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#56804
<Karlprof> NEW RECORD!
<Karlprof> I just drove someone out a channel on Freenode in *two* lines!
<Karlprof> -->| fred_basset has joined ##anything
<Karlprof> <Karlprof> I read your nick as 'breast_feed', fred.
<Karlprof> <Karlprof> I just thought you should know that.
<Karlprof> <fred_basset> thanks
<Karlprof> <--| fred_basset has left ##anything
#184809
* ~Rofflesama grabs Amyl and puts him on the 20 yard line.
* ~Danke goes for the kick.
[Amyl] was kicked by [Danke] [IT'S GOOD!!]
#303376
(@who-ha) Random story time, okay.
(@who-ha) I'm like, 10 years old
(@who-ha) I just got my first bottle of cologne, right
(@who-ha) so I'm playing around with it
(@who-ha) sprayed it everywhere
(@who-ha) so I put some in a cup
(@who-ha) and stick my dick in it.
(@who-ha) I cried myself to sleep.
(@Sanitized) ........
(@who-ha) I'm dead serious.
#27826
-!- Pooky [laptop@vw19667.iinet.net.au] has quit [Ping timeout for Pooky]
-!- PookyOut is now known as Pooky
< Pooky> hmn. nickop is lagging
-!- Pooky [laptop@vw16083.iinet.net.au] has quit [Killed (NickOP (Kill requested by PookyOut))]
#33659
<Pischk> im infected with something nasty dont accept anything from me
<Brisby> Pischk: How about money?
<DJ_Elfen> not even cash?
<Hurtful_Wolf> what about money?
Comment: a quick set of responses...
#44955
gr3ym4tt3r: NEVER MASTURBATE AFTER 5 DAYS OF NOT DOING IT.
AerialFlames: Dude, yeah
gr3ym4tt3r: Especially with no towels nearby.
AerialFlames: It goes BOOM
gr3ym4tt3r: This is gonna be fucking nasty, but I hit myself in the fucking EYE.
gr3ym4tt3r: IN. MY. EYE.
AerialFlames: ..WTF
AerialFlames: WTF
AerialFlames: POINT IT AWAY
AerialFlames: DUMBASS
gr3ym4tt3r: I did... but it was like... *twi*BLAMF*tch*
#6869
* BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.
BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person. In fact, if people like that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss Freaking Congeniality, dammit!
#242982
keegan: has anyone made a "Super Lehman Bros" videogame yet?
keegan: you jump and hit the block but instead of coins falling out you get worthless mortgage-backed securities
keegan: also put expensive suits on mario and luigi
#294654
<U235> it always bothers me when i'm filling my bottle of water and the pressure drops because someone flushed a toilet
<U235> in the back of my mind, I just can't stop thinking that that water I was about to drink instead washed someone's poop away.
#305605
<Crispy> Rational behavior: Behavior that can be expressed as a fraction.
#36881
(Recon) but anyways... hows the weather?
(Jeterfan) ummm
 (Jeterfan) rainy?
 (Jeterfan) I don't know
 (Jeterfan) I live in a cave
 (Recon) with Bin Laden?
 (Jeterfan) LIES!
 (Recon) lol
 (Recon) yea, I bet!
 (Jeterfan) I would have turned his ass in a long time ago... but he pays for pizza
Comment: XD
#4378
<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap
#305535
+ RubberDuck has joined #TC.
< RubberDuck> fuck
< RubberDuck> where the fucks my bowling ball?!?
< ireadminds> uh, dont they rent em?
< RubberDuck> they rent only polished shitballs.
< RubberDuck> FUCK
< ireadminds> well u aint gonna find it here thats fo sho
- RubberDuck has quit (fuck this shit).
...later...
+ Melissa has joined
< Melissa> Ducky isnt dicking around in here, is he? were supposed to be goin out tonite :3
< CoJaBo> He said he doesnt have the balls for it.
Comment: (and, yes, their names are Convoy references)
#103080
<tamara> lets see... something raspberry, coconut cream with chocolate swirls, and lemon marrengue (which I'm having trouble spelling)
<Edmund> "merengue"
<Jens> "Meringue"
<Edmund> or is that the dance?
<Jens> It is.
<Edmund> Dammit, nothing delicious should be hard to spell.
<Edmund> The Anglo-Saxons had a point. "Ham." Three letters. DONE.
<Edmund> That's probably why the British beat the French at empire building. While the French were busy asking for "jambon avec moutard et choucroute sur pain de campagne" the British just went "ham bap" and ate. All those seconds add up.
<Edmund> (Victory! Through boring cuisine!)
#57165
<jnz> I spilt Mountain Dew on my keyboard a few times and it left some thick syrupy stuff I never really decided to clean off. I've also spilt drinks on my cable modem and in my surge protector. Everything still worked fine.
<jnz> I move into an apartment close to my college for a semester and sugar ants appeared out of nowhere and would swarm my computer and electronics at night. In a week or so my cable modem, surge protector, and keyboard were completely clean and syrup free. Ants rock.
#297666
Esmé: fuck, I need to play some more of this RL game. I looked out the window, saw a rainbow, and thought "shit, not another skittles commercial"
#14886
<karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell script.
<Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.
#2404
<BlackDeth> did you know i'm sitting on my toilet right now
<BlackDeth> taking a crap
<myhero> :L
<BlackDeth> i have been this whole conversation
<BlackDeth> brb wiping
*** myhero changes topic to '<BlackDeth> brb wiping'
<SD-Washu> erm k thats just wrong
<SD-Washu> you're not supposed to irc or call ppl from teh fucking bathroom
<SD-Washu> i dont fucking care if you are joking
<ryo-ohki> I do it all the time. :/
<BlackDeth> i'm back on the couch
<BlackDeth> i dont talk to people on the phone when i'm on the toilet
<BlackDeth> because they can hear the gruesome details
#192072
<Jiro> I've used a lubed banana before..
<Wolven> ...
<TR> Jiro... tmi
<TR> Although I bet you couldnt do it half as well with the skin off :P
<Jiro> actually it was with the skin off..
* Calus has entered #Northernfurs
<Jiro> I got it in, clenched & broke the damn thing in half & had to go to the toilet to shit out half a banana
* Calus has left #Northernfurs
Comment: #NorthernFurs on FurNet
#2987
(Matt^^^) fenrir's gf is a quad processor solaris box
#3698
<Joshua> i'm almost out of money for food... and i've got 4 more months before i go home...
<Joshua> all of my remaining food money is going towards caffeine.
<Villager> who needs food when you have caffeine eh?
#40857
<blister> you know whats sweet about et?
<blister> everyone plays with a ping of like, 350
<blister> and i ping 30
<blister> do the math... :D
<blister> its like a retard fight
<blister> where i run around and shoot handicapped kids
<blister> i LOVE it
Comment: #brained / irc.nullirc.net
#956
(jesdynf) If you could do it, though, you could hire kids to pedal bikes if your uptime meant that much to you... though watt for watt, you'd be better off having them steal car batteries.
#14761
<deltax> your not to smart
<SofaKing> too smart
<SofaKing> your not that bright yourself
#302103
<bucketmouse> every time i feel depressed i just 7zip something from the commandline
<bucketmouse> lrobin$ 7za a test.7z blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Creating archive test.7z
<bucketmouse> Compressing blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Everything is Ok