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#306403
<+CoJaBo> me is bored
<+CoJaBo> Slash key: Miss it, and sound like caveman.
#20950
* strang3r licks eZ_T4B's ass
* strang3r kicks eZ_T4B's ass
<strang3r> u know they really shouldnt put the "l" right beside the "k"
#296599
<Woofcat> I never got why Satan was torturing people
<Woofcat> I always picture hell as some huge Dojo where everyone learns Krav Maga and is really buff from working out.
<Woofcat> I mean you are trying to build an army.
#30279
<Mike> i hate mondays
<Mike> so much stress
<Mike> and no matter how early I start, I am ALWAYS still workign on it at the last minute
<Mike> I need a beer
<@Galadriel> man you sound like me
<@Galadriel> lol
<Mike> I need a cigarette
<@Galadriel> relax
<Mike> I need sex
<@Galadriel> :x
<Mike> especially that last one
* @Galadriel hides
#10702
<Jubei301> So I walk into the room with the cat on my shoulder, facing backwards, and my stepdad is trying to watch TV, and I step in front of him, point at my cats ass, and say "ARG! shiver me timbers, its me one eyed parrot" and he laughed for a long time....my mom was just staring at me like im some kind of pervert.
<Jubei301> What? doesnt everyone use their cats brown-eye for their punchlines?
#33081
(fleet): I had a bad sexual experience last night
(fleet): I cut my penis on a jagged vagina
(nme): that wasn't a vagina, I told you to stop fucking those goddamn pepsi cans
#4158
* cococutie does the deaf hottie victory dance :)
<Rhelik> cococutie: deaf hottie? why deaf?
<estranger> Rhelik: mainly cus she can't hear =)
#57922
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 months
Comment: #maddox
#14
<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS
#8221
<spicyham> guess i will go to library to use encyclepedia tomorrow ... all my dictionary doesn't have the meaning of leet
#50726
wietz0r: I got a poem
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish not for a big house
wietz0r: Or a large car
wietz0r: I wish for something small
wietz0r: Possibly with side-bars
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish only one wish
wietz0r: And that is to never ever fucking sneeze in someones face during sex again
BernardBlack: ahahahahhhahahahaha
BernardBlack: "oh god katie, I -=ATCHOO=-"
BernardBlack: now that would be an orgasm and a half
BernardBlack: *sneeze* *sperm* "er, ok2
#3909
<BombScare> i should go buy a skateboard and go sk00l some kids at the park
<BombScare> since im an expert at all 3 tony hawk games, i should have no problem pulling off those tricks in real life
#15791
<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the keyboard on the way down.
#56188
<Nuttacon> i hate this, i have sooooooooooo much i could be doing..
<Nuttacon> it's overwhelming, i end up just worrying about how to do it all and not get anything done :(
<pentium176> i think you need a lesson in time management
<Nuttacon> perhaps
<Nuttacon> i don't know when i'd have time for it
#13608
<]Darkstar[> Everyone hit ctrl+v
* MMK[TP] hits ctrl+v... ctrl+v runs away
<MMK[TP]> Now I lost these two keys!
#35185
<timmo> also who did they just kill?
<timmo> whos funeral?
<everest> another hamas leader
<everest> Abdel Aziz Rantisi
<timmo> no you fuck
<timmo> on sapranos
#9613
<issuez> im skinny for an irc girl
#16822
<Packet> my boss just walked by one of the contractors that get canned friday
<Packet> and goes "HEY! I thought I fired you!"
<hmodes> "oh wait, i did.. HAHAHAHAHA!"
<hmodes> i aspire to crush people's souls like that some day
#141301
< grey> So I had an idea today
< grey> of something that could amuse me, if only because I know out there somewhere, someone else would laugh
< grey> I want to get an ebay username of something creepy, like "WatchingU.P", then buy stuff like a telescope or pinhole camera, then leave feedback like "A+++, Fast Shipping, You should get that mole checked!"
#28684
<Lilmissdjgrl> Do you want a cookie?
<EvilCouch> no thanks, I've got directories full of them
#309922
<Bigby> so fox news is hating on the lego movie as it makes big business the bad guy
<Bigby> i really do believe if the KKK had a fortune 500 company FOX would defend them
#16722
<abashta> I agree with you, bombing afghanistan to eradicate terrorists is like bombing the ghetto to get rid of the drug dealers
#7030
<Adar> "If you handle an envelope and some white powder spills out, you should _____________?"
<Boog|Happy> "Sniff it?"
#73370
madskz: i' tried ass fuck
takefive: Ahaha
takefive: wait, why?
madskz: what??
madskz: oh shit
madskz: *i'm tired as fuck
#26371
fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best"