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#2757
*** Now talking in #honda
*** Topic is '<xessor> anyone know how to make fire come out the tailpipe?'
#18733
ShidouK: That was about as funny as putting myself through a woodchipper.
Rann XXV: Depends on why you put yourself through the woodchipper.
#306066
<izua> are you a prophet?
<clueless> yes
<izua> show me your prophet license
<clueless> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<clueless> ^ LICENSED PROPHET ^
<clueless> ^ CLUELESS ^
<clueless> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<izua> dammit.
#309657
(+tt) I have the best idea for a serial crime
(+tt) I am going to break into people's bathroom windows, flip the toilet paper over so it feeds the other way, and leave.
#76659
<@Ho0chie> i had awesome nerd moment with flat mate earlier.....
<@Ho0chie> ...he threw me a packet of crisps and they fell on the floor...we looked at each other and he said 'oh man, packet loss'
#9232
<blaky> be back, gotta clean a fan
<chomp> did shit hit it?
#34698
[dandyd]: gah... STUPID PEOPLE!!!
[dandyd]: i set my msn status to on phone, and 4 ppl start up convos asking who im tlking to
[dandyd]: the whole point is so they dont hassle me when im on the phone ffs
[fc9k]: did you tell them you were having phonesex?
Comment: #tekheads (Quakenet)
#10512
<cj_> this guy is selling STEAKS door to door
<jej> SWEET.
<cj_> he's hella pushy too.
<jej> BUY MY STEAK!
<cj_> he's giving her his cellphone number
<cj_> he actually brought stake with him to show her
<jej> LOOK AT MY STEAK!
<cj_> he's showing her each piece of meat now
<spides> ahaha
<spides> Door to Door Meat
<spides> maybe he's propositioning her in some weird fetishy way
<cj_> this guy is a freak
<cj_> if i had answered the door he woulda been gone about 10 minutes ago
<cj_> who the hell does door-to-door at 8:30
<spides> who the fuck sells steak door to door
<cj_> good fucking question. this guy might be a nut
#310390
<TheBadSpoon> to explain reddit, it's basically a large anus comprised of many sub-anuses
#29220
<BD|Aweh> just like i pay £1m for every condom i use due to the size of it <The_Package> micro technology is mega expensive innit BD|Aweh :P
#29514
<jebus> brb, sex
#33888
<Hidden_7> MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER
<Hidden_7> it is an expensive piece of hardware
<Hidden_7> I've poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into this bitch
<Hidden_7> and it won't fucking give up the goods
<Hidden_7> so fucking like a chick it's not EVEN funny
#43492
(@ddew|bofh) heh, I really need to get out more. I just ogt annoyed that a truck was revving it's engine outside so I went out to check what was going on. Turns out that the apartment next to mine was on fire and the truck I heard was one of 3 fireengines :)
#3652
<blazemore> one time i was camping with a bunch of friends and me and this girl were sleeping next to each other and we were both laying on our sides with our asses touching and i accidentally farted
#67456
<Shaezerus> Sep 21, 2006 Play-Asia.com Order #------- received.
<Shaezerus> Jan 01, 1970 Play-Asia.com Order #------- shipped!
<Shaezerus> Fucking timetraveling import stores.
<Koushiro> And it *still* hasn't arrived!
#2316
<sceptre70> anybody here know how i can get laid or eat out a pussy without spending money msg me
#29108
<BlueFlash> We need to get Mike a girlfriend whose name doesn't end in .jpg
#14426
<PrincessLeia2> yeah we wrote linux install directions for Unreal Tournament, and I made the cuteyist UT Tux image for it on my webpage!
<PrincessLeia2> ...
<PrincessLeia2> wow, i just managed to be totally geeky and very girly in the same sentance O_O
#55588
aishiteiru: So, I'm making a cake for my gf for valentine's day, right?
aishiteiru: Anyway... I start talking about how the smell is filling the house
aishiteiru: and it's making me hungry
aishiteiru: and then she asks what I'm making
aishiteiru: but I don't want to tell her, it's a surprise, right?
aishiteiru: so I say the first thing off the top of my head.
aishiteiru: "Chocolate boobies."
aishiteiru: She believed me.
aishiteiru: So then I started going on about how I was going to fill it with vanilla frosting
aishiteiru: and wondering about the logistics of attaching the nipple
aishiteiru: she COMPLETELY believed it all
aishiteiru: and she was freaking about it
aishiteiru: then I did that old line
aishiteiru: "...Hey? Did you know that gullible isn't in the dictionary?"
aishiteiru: she got it at that point.
aishiteiru: Cake mix: $4.
aishiteiru: Frosting: $5.
aishiteiru: Convincing your girlfriend that you're making a chocolate boobie:
aishiteiru: Priceless.
#21042
<jbroome> i will be assilimated
<YanceySlide> Or something.
<jbroome> spelled correctly
<YanceySlide> Being assilimated sounds like something that happens in prison.
<jbroome> that would be assmutilated
<YanceySlide> Point.
#29706
<Charc> Requel Welch looks good holding anything
<Gangor> not now she doesn't
<Charc> she could be holding my dead grandfathers rotting, maggot ridden penis in her hands, and the photo would still be art
<Gangor> you sick, sick man
#16858
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo
#367
<brojek> The A-Team? it goes like this: they have a "job", get into trouble, get cornered, in that corner they build a tank and then escape :)
<toitle> the best bit was when they made the tank out of left overs from a broken vacuum cleaner
#32118
(@Plex) crap i need to stop saying things outloud when i say them on irc
(@Plex) i said 'molest' and i think my mom heard.
#15312
úùú Quits: JESUS (adam@rootdown.net): Ping timeout
<Cyph3r> jesus died from my syn's