Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#44405
<Anomaly> I have a problem with my printer, can anybody help?
<Anomaly> I was printing out a photograph but the sun and the sky were messed up, they were black and purple
*** starwarsgamer has joined #outboards
<Galaxy Mage> Apparantly, your cyan-hole and your yellow-hole are clogged, but your magenta-hole and your black-hole are fine.
*** starwarsgamer has quit (sick fuckers)
<Galaxy Mage> ...
#303792
<emFox> Kali ma!
* emFox rips Novu's still-beating heart out of his chest and lowers his body into a flame pit.
<emFox> Bali Mangthi Kali Ma!
<Novu_Ferret> This is how I know he loves me
#9111
<ChuffyCow> pr0n heals all wounds
<ChuffyCow> except cuts on the penis.
#51077
(@yt): i need something that symbolises my alter-ego. Bowler hat, briefcase, umberella, monacle
(@yt): etc
(rocksicle): your alter-ego is the penguin?
#247571
<Jeanette> FUCK THE LETTER O.
<Jeanette> I HATE IT FOREVER.
<Jeanette> ..
<Jeanette> FAREVER
#16378
<kaleido> when i was at e*trade i went to a dept dinner thing and everyone was drinking 20 year old wines and shit, and i ordered a bud light
<kaleido> everyone looked at me like i called their mother a cunt
#18965
<Pseudonym> I love how all through GTA3 there's an anti-drug theme
<Pseudonym> You spend half or more of your missions stopping people from pushing SPANK
#36558
<Rjx> when a friend of mine wrote me a birthday card, she wrote "happy birthday!!1111"
<Rjx> with the ones actually included
Comment: #geekissues
#200370
Cynic: it looks like a flashlight but on the inside instead of batteries and a lightbulb, there's a synthetic vagina!
Elven: ...
Dexi: they also have anus and mouth
Dexi: not just va-
Dexi: i mean... i have no idea what types of orifices they offer!
#35728
<@Jon> the transition from broadband to dialup it's like driving a corvette, then having both your legs broken and being told to walk.
#310881
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
#13033
<LilGCube740> are you from a dif country
<|STeReOtYpE|> portugal
<LilGCube740> u speak poor english
<LilGCube740> i speak poor spanish so its all good
#29888
<wardrobe> The following NEW packages will be installed:
<wardrobe> emacsen-common libcompfaceg1 libpq3 xemacs21 xemacs21-basesupport
<wardrobe> xemacs21-bin xemacs21-mule xemacs21-mulesupport xemacs21-support
<wardrobe> 0 upgraded, 9 newly installed, 0 to remove and 4 not upgraded.
<wardrobe> Need to get 29.9MB of archives.
<wardrobe> After unpacking 93.4MB of additional disk space will be used.
<wardrobe> NINETY THREE MEGS FOR A TEXT EDITOR
Comment: Quite.
#16793
<`bb20> i have some definition, but i want it to be cut
<`Munky> i can cut you if you like let me get my plastic rusty spoon
<`bb20> hold on...let me get my tetanus shot
#141
<ILLogik> i was having cybersex with this chick but she wouldn't go all the way so i had to rape her
#306745
<pheand> she asks me about jehova witnessing and i told her i was jewish; she goes, "it's okay, I'm lebanese!!" with all the zeal in the world spouting from her
#25479
<PolestaR> Swish I dont have your skill where you just say *smiles* online and the girl is yours
<Swish> rofl
<PolestaR> I have to like, talk for like 5000 chars before I even get the phone number
<PolestaR> which is fake
#8372
<Hito> Golden showers, fecal, fisting, bondage, S&M, cock-pumping, beastiality, dead people, babies, women, children, men, stuffed animals, trees, etc.
<Chubbzilla> ¤¦Hito¦¤ nice weekend planned
#15910
<funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?
#2934
<Potato> I've known her for years and I've always wanted to fuck her.
<Potato> But her last boyfriend was a 6 foot 7 black man.
<Potato> So I just don't try.
<Potato> I'm above average, but he was a giant black man.
<Potato> I mean, c'mon.
<Potato> He was like Godzilla, but black. Like Shaftzilla.
<memo> Did he smash Japanese skyscrapers with his dong?
<Potato> Yes.
<Potato> Yes he did.
#44810
Bronxalicious> Best thing ever just happened
Bronxalicious> I'm cleaning up my room cause Brent's coming over with his comp right
Bronxalicious> But it's fuckin hot
Bronxalicious> So I take off my pants
Bronxalicious> and I'm just there in boxers vacuuming up thinking no-ones gonna see me
Bronxalicious> next thing my dad walks in, and i'm standing there with the vacuum cleaner and only boxers on
Bronxalicious> and my dads just :|
Bronxalicious> so me not thinking about what hes thinking about im like "hey you want a turn, im bored of this."
{[ Hman> LMFAO
Bronxalicious> and he just keeps staring
Bronxalicious> then walks off without saying a word
Bronxalicious> and then i suddenly realise that the vacuum cleaner is suspiciously near my crotch
Bronxalicious> so my dad now thinks i have sex with the vacuum cleaner
#4422
<moira> I converted an MP3 to ogg, then back again, and then back and forth between MP3 and OGG format thirty times, and when I listened to it after that, it was just an mp3 of you guys talking
#6418
<suchness> my ear wax is pure black!?!?!?!?!
<suchness> WTF
#74555
<micksam7> spling isn't back yet
<micksam7> he was suppose to be home today
<micksam7> hm
<micksam7> maybe he needs to be like.. lured or something
<micksam7> like in that pokemon game or whatever. you need to like, put something out to get them to come or something
* micksam7 thinks
* micksam7 ties some toast to a string
* micksam7 sets it on the floor and hides behind a couch 2 feet away
* spling joins #stats
* micksam7 has just caught a spling!
#305937
<+BigEndian> Perl is like a freak fapping in the park
<+BigEndian> from afar you wonder what the hell it's doing
<+BigEndian> but when you get close you wish you never inspected it further