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#2795
(Matt^^^) Ok, walk up to a really hot chick and say "I bet you 20 bucks I can make your tits jiggle without touching them"
(Matt^^^) then grab her tits, give her 20 bucks and walk away
#55291
<Noia> now I have to get dressed to go to the kitchen to get a new drink >.<
<myarray> why can't you be nakid in your own house?!
<Noia> I live in a flat with a few other people
<myarray> ah
<Noia> they might be a little disturbed if I start walking around in my underwear :P
<myarray> you never know, they might like it :)
<Noia> thats what I'm afraid of :P
#45404
<theProject> anyways, is it just me, or is badget badger one infinite loop?
<LoneGamer> badger badger?
<LoneGamer> it's always been an infinite loop
<theProject> MORONS
<LoneGamer> the badger badger soccer/football is an infinite loop with a counter
<theProject> bloody bleeping hell, someone linked me to it and told me "check out the ending, it's really funny"
<theProject> so i sat there for ten minutes
<LoneGamer> it's times like this i wish there were a rofl smilie
#226181
<@jer> TheBeast, lemme guess, female?
<@jer> if so, it sounds like you're caught in a pussy trap, get out of it... don't call her again, let her call you
<@jer> if you have some mutal friends, slip to them that you're really busy with something exciting in your life (and make sure it's real, don't lie)
<@jer> she'll call you, when she does, tell her you can't talk for long, then abruptly tell her you have to go
<@jer> and hang up
<@jer> work that way for a little while
<@jer> she'll then be in your little trap =]
<indigoflux> This is why I hate relationships.
<indigoflux> If I want to play mind games, I might as well sign up for a course in assembly programming.
#4275
<someone> anybody who would by Celine Dions music deserves to have their computer crash ;)~
#31049
<@IceWizard> fufFUCK
<@IceWizard> i keant to puyt shredded mozarella chees euin my lasatgna
<@IceWizard> but i put ufckign shredded COCONUT
#9136
<Odin_Tiger> Even those maps that the psychics show of the earth flooded (the ones where science says there isn't enough water on earth for it to be possible) would have me a good 4 or 5 hour drive from any beaches.
#10423
<nwinter> i think i could've made a better spreadsheet with graph paper
and a crayon.
<hep> hahaha
<nwinter> i had to put an audit i did into a spreadsheet because
apparently my boss doesn't like documents in the UNIVERSALLY READABLE
format known as ASCII.
<nwinter> he will soon receive my weekly status report as an attachment
named "micromanagement.txt"
#51235
<Kookykman> Are you within driving distance of Boston?
<Phlip> Sadly, no.
<Phlip> Sometimes I wish Australia was driving distance from the US...
<Phlip> unfortunately that isn't to be :(
<Phlip> lousy government
#8562
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> Tornado!
<Guantlet> better get to the basement mins
<Minstrel> bbl, Ima go get stoned and go outside.
#306959
Mew: "what do you do with a dead chemist?" "BARIUM!"
Mew: k im done failing
bryan: lol thats a tin on my scale
Mew: I do not know how to react to this
#35940
<atoi> ouch...when zippers attack...
<atoi> zippers and balls have been natural enemies since the inception of storing the latter behind the former.
#44889
<chevell> not to sound bigoted, but racist jokes are hilarious
<crudesunlight> Agreed.
<chevell> i wonder why there aren't any caucasian jokes?
<crudesunlight> You white boys don't need any help looking stupid.
#6011
<incarnate> hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
<incarnate> " "
<cres> i dont get it
#1976
<__NoBoDy_> comp is slow as fuck right now freezin up a bit
<__NoBoDy_> heh
<__NoBoDy_> but im a gangsta and just dont give a fuck
<BC|HyDRO> jeah, real gangstas just let their comps run slow
#51176
McKhaos: this guy asks me
McKhaos: how many people work in your company ?
McKhaos: my answer
McKhaos: about a third
#258
<subHero> Help! i just got my penis stuck in my cdrom!!1
<johndoe92> grab a kleenex and hit 'eject'
#44030
<sidewinder> has he ever looked at M theory?
<Alliance> the theory that M likes to kick me?
Alliance was kicked from #homeworld by m (i think this is called a 'proof')
#4351
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.
#53602
<DJ_Yami> I don't have any friends in this neighborhood yet
<aoshi> How long have you lived there?
<DJ_Yami> 6 months
#15436
<Godfather> white people dont go to jail, look at OJ
<Inferno> he's black u fag
<Godfather> oh
#58217
<Apollo> w00t, finally got my comp running again :D
<Trinexx> dude, you've been gone for two weeks, wtf happened?
<Apollo> my new processor finally arrived in the mail, so I ripped the old one out and smashed it with a hammer. It was when I put the new one in that I noticed it was missing about 6 pins >:/
<Apollo> I fucking hate computers
#299603
<cxreg> i'm going to go in to work tomorrow, and tell them that i'm going to fix bugs homeopathically
<cxreg> by inserting a syntax error once every 700 billion lines of code
#45978
Salixa: I used to have to skin dead mice and chop them up to feed to owls
Salixa: brb looney tunes time
Salixa: :-)
Olego: You have a vile sense of humour.
#2451
<toot> Y2K isn't untill 2048
<toot> 1K = 1024