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#300988
<massacre> Rosti, can I ask you something as a close friend?
<Rosti_LFC> you could ask me something as a complete stranger, but go ahead
<massacre> Do you reckon Emma would go out with me if I asked her?
<Rosti_LFC> errr....
<Rosti_LFC> ask her yourself?
<massacre> no fucking way until I get a second opinion
<Daz> dude she's in the channel
<massacre> no she isn't
<Rosti_LFC> yeah she is mate, look up
<Rosti_LFC> she got op'd yesterday
<massacre> fuck
<massacre> PLAN B
<massacre> spam the channel
<massacre> with text
<massacre> so it goes
<Audia> hi
<massacre> off her scrollback
<Rosti_LFC> ahaha
<massacre> FUCK
* massacre has quit (PLAN C!!!)
<Audia> I'm going to go install Windows 7 right now
<Audia> so I'll be offline for a bit
<Audia> if he gets the balls to come back in here in the meantime tell him the answer is yes
<Rosti_LFC> rofl
* Audia has quit (QUIT)
<Rosti_LFC> that was some hardcore nerd courtship ritual right there
<Daz> Oh man, I wish I could fuck up asking a girl out that badly and still succeed
#10646
<hybridy2k> how do i give ppl ops with a certain level
<@netwerk> rephrase your question in english before i find an axe and murder your parents
#4712
<BombScare> W00T! im #1 on geekissues
<BombScare> im an internet superstar
<snag> now you got something to brag about to the ladies
<snag> before you pee on them
#3756
<Ad0> I met my gf (which is here as we speak) over IRC
<Wyatt> Ad0: Are you both IRCing side-by-side?
<Ad0> almost
<Ad0> she is in the kitchen with the laptop
#47571
<Dweller> ever think how handy it would be to have a purse?
<Mayseth> honestly, no
<Dweller> think of all the things you could carry.. and have them with you ALL THE TIME
<Dweller> I could bring my GBA with me.. MP3 player.. a small camera.. tools..
<Mayseth> Stop trying to rationalize your gayness
#8083
<DilleMMa> im off to maccas now
<DilleMMa> any requests?:)
<Nelyx> some motivation with a side order of dignity
<DilleMMa> and a large compassion
<Nelyx> and no, i would not like fries with that
<DilleMMa> i should get myself a "medium why do i even bother"
<DilleMMa> toodles
<Nelyx> they stopped serving those last year
#38655
retry: you cyber at work?
maddox: all the time.. it's like a massive orgy in my cubicle, except I'm usually the only one there so it's just masturbation.
#42000
<@Invictus`> a kamikaze bishop? hm..
<bishop`homework> woOOOOoOO
<@Invictus`> sounds like Extreme Chess 4000
<bishop`homework> indeed.
Comment: #counter-strike @ gamesurge.net
#50704
<+Toba|Unix> And God said, trust not the tinyurl, for it is subtle and quick to abuse your trust. And it came to pass, that Robert did click the tinyurl and was assaulted from behind by gay pr0n popups. And god said, wtf? I told you...
Comment: #wpi
#55591
Mattias: i still say i get a siren and tie it to my belly and get some deeeep pocket pants full of change. Then i walk past a hobo on the street and when he asks me for some spair change i am going to put the siren on and start throwing change at him yelling " YOU WON THE JACKPOT"
#40380
rebjudson: hehe, i'm the entire female contingent in your group of friends
Ilanbg: watch out then
Ilanbg: and now that i think about it, that was not funny
Ilanbg: only creepy
rebjudson: um, yeah...
#305335
-!- sycobuny[telnet] [~sycobuny@cloak.hsd1.md.comcast.net] has joined #malkier
< sycobuny[telnet]> hi
< sycobuny[telnet]> it turns out there are no irc clients installed on larry's machine
< sycobuny[telnet]> typing the raw IRC still works though!
#8488
<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said, "alright marine, kill me with one touch!"
<hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say
<dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having my shoulder ripped apart
<dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying
<hakan> did it break??
<dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the demons of the american military have shone through and i am hopeless!! HOPELESS"
#300818
<Crispy`> my friend is making my other friend's girlfriend rage on facebook by arguing with her about how Twilight is the dumbest shit ever
<Crispy`> so I created Twilight for Men.
<Crispy`> government scientist fused DNA with Hayden P. and Mila Kunis to create the hottest woman ever with big titties and a nice ass, and she's all over my dick but it turns out she's a pirate and I'm like "omg but I want to be a pirate" and she's all naked near me and shit and I'm like "you're the most perfect thing ever" ... See Moreand she's like "I know, now fuck me"
<Crispy`> and then all the sudden it turns out the government actually made someone else who was fused from the DNA of Kristen Bell and Elisha Cuthbert and she shows up and is like "what the fuck but I want your dick more." and I'm like "D:"
<Crispy`> and then the Kristen and Elisha fusion is like "OH AND IM A NINJA SHITYEAH" and I'm like "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NINJAS VS PIRATE" and then this was my face when they were fighting a war near me " :O "
<Crispy`> with none of them wearing shirts oh and they all have super nice tits and are not fat at all and are the most perfect looking women ever and then they all want my dick so bad it's hard for me to choose and also whether I want to be a Ninja or Pirate it's a very tough decision.
#19798
<D3adlode> http://decoy.iamod.com/badday.jpg
<D3adlode> ...
<Taylor> thanks for that D3adlode
<D3adlode> you're welcome
<MaDCoW[sleep]> ;s
<FaQz0r[zof]> hahah
<Taylor> no really, thanks for showing me the picture of a FUCKING PENIS, while my mum walks in with a drink YOU COMPLETE SHITHEAD, at least provide a damn warning
#69917
<RuneCaster> I also hate people that walk up behind you and say something that sounds like the trigger to a conversation directed at you
<RuneCaster> Then you turn around and they're talking to a product from the store
<RuneCaster> "Well look who it is!" (I turn around) "Wha?"
<RuneCaster> and numbnuts is talking to Steven Seagal on the front of a dvd cover.
#15562
<Tobal> looks like the UK is working to make pot a non-arestable offence
<ssrit> I'd move there.
<ssrit> Where is that?
#16588
<tipz> just remember kids
<tipz> hippos eat strawberry ice cream
<thadood> I'll keep that in mind next time I visit your mom.
#28962
LiL Kitten587: shut up
LiL Kitten587: im sneezing
LiL Kitten587: geez
LiL Kitten587: achoo acchoo
Topher587: wow
Topher587: it must've been loud for the sneezes to type themselves
#32225
<splice> courier new is the supreme essay expander font
<splice> you can write one sentence and courier new it into a three page thesis
#30111
<regwaur> <nwmann> i've been able to get my tongue to touch the tip of my cock before
<R0y> dude i used to be able to get my whole shaft into my throat
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3
<regwaur> ahahaa
<Matt^^^> I've been able to get the top 3" of my cock in my mouth
<regwaur> why even have a gf then r0y
<R0y> because she makes me feel whole and good
<enoggy> dude
<enoggy> people who constantly try to suck their own dick worry me
<regwaur> question is
<regwaur> if you could suck your dick, would you swallow?
<enoggy> hahah
<R0y> fuck ya
#21561
[16:13] <goatasaur> ahh, porn
[16:24] <goatasaur> what were we talking about?
#53335
<frosty-theaussie> "i dont know. we just dont celebrate christmas like you do... we actually remember why christmas is here, not just to give gifts"
<frosty-theaussie> if someone said that to you
<frosty-theaussie> youd think that theyre attacking you for not celebrating christmas like devout christians do, wouldnt you?
<HoneyBunny> wtf is the point of christmas without gifts?
<HoneyBunny> thats like religion without blatant lies and weak unrealistic stories
#7956
<dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
<dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
<dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
<heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to dance.
<heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
<heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.
#10197
<Trendarth> wb
<Yamatto> ta
<Trendarth> np
<@antix> why does everyone talk in two letters these days...
<Trendarth> dk
<Trendarth> because our society promotes slothenly behaviour
<@antix> ok