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#61462
(@b) core, do you live in germany or austria
(+core) why do you ask?
(@b) I was wondering if my arm was rubber, how far it would need to stretch to punch you in the face
#5311
<Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in retalitory missle attacks"
#34235
<port-> MadDwarf please take a bow
<MadDwarf> sorry , but I DON'T bend over in this channel
Comment: #windowsxp efnet
#10994
<Hiryuu> When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
#151875
<Jex> we made a mmo game where you are a member of a popular development team with an army of a few hundred clients demanding updates and the goal of the game is to prolong development as long as possible without getting e-murdered
Comment: #tremdev@freenode.net
#19386
<Kr1sten> I lost my virginity last night
<[zT]Lunchie> Oh shit! Get it back! You have to find!!!
<[zT]Lunchie> I'll look in the car, you look by the sofa.
<Kr1sten> You are such an ass.
#5415
<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch it twice tho
#57117
<@robert> if my grade suffers because of you, i swear to god, i will send you lots of hot porn and then toss something nasty in the middle
Comment: #wpi
#54417
<Grimthorn> yay for tacks having a girlfriend!
<Tacks> thats in the paaaaaaaaast.
<Rhett> she's not jokin thar, grim
<Grimthorn> neither was i
<Tacks> i tried taco, and i prefer the sausage. ...if you know what i mean. eh? eh? wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more?
<Grimthorn> haha
<Malekh> I prefer sausages over tacos as well
<Tacks> ...
<Malekh> Oh wait.. we're not talking food
<Tacks> >_<
#147598
<Smokey> there's a pizza hut down the street from here, but it's across state border so they won't deliver it
Comment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
#14608
<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK
#8474
[03:01]<monkey1> at least im not on IRC at 3 AM!
#10881
<jorm> it will be my favorite thing until i remember that i have a penis.
#300279
<kaiser> 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane...
<kaiser> the 10th voice hums the tetris theme
Comment: #twokinds of nightstar
#28402
onkeybutt87: I mean... television provided me with one concept of the world
onkeybutt87: that all girls were commitment-obsessed and all you had to do to be a good boyfriend was to love them, listen to them, and always want to be with them
onkeybutt87: but that mindset, it made me a pretty jealous, clingy, and possessive boyfriend
onkeybutt87: I should sue
onkeybutt87: goddamn television
#8394
<crazymaninvan> boobs on the life channel!
<Spamalope> What species?
#79919
<@Poppin> but i cant go to the dentist cuz my mom screwed me
<Foxhill> what has your dentist got against incest?
#6505
<jeremiah> the other day, we were sitting there in class
during an awkward pause and the teacher was feeling all proud of himself [...] and I say: "so mr critzer, when are you going
to get a real job?"
#53711
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway.
#6976
* vampyr giggles in a sinister manner
<vampyr> hmm..that didn't come out right
* vampyr chortles in a sinister manner
#8148
<Kiler> Watching Jerry Springer makes me so glad I'm not poor white trash
*** Kiler was kicked by Joe_ (What? You're rich white trash now?)
#40420
<Pokey> dude got fired from his job missing one day of work
<Pokey> ONE
<Pokey> in which he tried to get someone to cover for him
<Pokey> his sister was having a baby
<Pokey> but yet
<Pokey> they fired him
<bl4kwid0w> oO that's pretty harsh
<Pokey> well, to be fair, he lied about his sister having a baby so he could enjoy some alcohol with me
<Pokey> but still
<Pokey> they dont know that
#80875
<%FreePlay> they seriously think that the Bible can answer every single goddamn question you ever have
<%FreePlay> I say, fuck that
<%FreePlay> if you want to limit your god to a single book, be my guest
<%FreePlay> go ahead and place limits on God, you arrogant know-it-all pricks
<+acme64> even lord of the rings was 3 books
#14093
<Shandz> i just got an electric shock off the phone
<Quicksilver> static or live?
<Shandz> I dunno, think live
<Shandz> cos when i stuck my hand in again it shocked me again
*** Shandz is now known as Shandz|phone
#4866
<fagx> in order to maintain our status as high-ranking officials in #lost we have a maximum of 1 offline friend each