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#3435
<Maxstah> i had a cable repair call at this arian nation nazi guys house today
<Maxstah> funny his name was joseph black
<Maxstah> i told him thats ironic
<Maxstah> he got pissed
#41868
<Pirengle> I belong to an on-campus all-female D&D group. My character, Damiar Longblade, got married to one of my hallmates characters, Sylva Atenel.
<Pirengle> Damiar kinda sorta knocked Sylva up, and then fell in love with her. He encouraged her to do things other than heal, and to enjoy life. (She's a cleric--he's a bard.) They finally get married.
<Pirengle> Sylva thinks she just got excommunicated from her church of healers. So she finally admits her love for her husband and attempts to seduce him. By taking the initiative for the first time in the relationship.
<jcompton> Huh. You find any time to go on quests and kill monsters and pick locks and stuff?
<Echon> JC: She said it is *female* group... Pay attention, please.
#4322
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.
#7334
<NihiMetal> I saw my first porno when I ws 11
<NihiMetal> It had tons of lesbian sex and stuff
<NihiMetal> I use to think that women did that shit with each other all the time
<NihiMetal> You never look at your mother and the preachers wife the same after that
#105387
< Nugget> internet6.irs.gov - - [04/Sep/2007:07:58:02 -0500] "GET /mroadster/ HTTP/1.1" 200 6537
< Nugget> this can't end well. :)
#48144
<Dogan> today in school the funniest thing ever happened at an assembly
<Dogan> i was up in the stands as part of the band, watching the cheerleaders do some show
<Dogan> and one of the girls loses her balance and falls off the top of the pyramid
<Dogan> So without thinking, i stand up and do a "Wah wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" on my trombone
<Dogan> never saw that cheerleader again
#53708
<cmantito> I just found an old briefcase
<cmantito> with all my 2600 magazines in it
<cmantito> and a can of Crisco.
<cmantito> ... ><
<celti> ...
<celti> a can of Crisco?
<cmantito> I have NO idea.
#300408
<TJNII> Man, this grandstream phone sure ARPs a lot. It is like a confused old man on my network. "Who am I? Who are you? Who are all these people?" Every 15 minutes.
#76331
Truespin: So ya'll know how i work with an advertising firm right? Well today i was put on company probation... if i so much as steal a paperclip, im fired and charges are being pressed against me.
Truespin: We had a meeting today, with ideas for a "reverse racism" campaign for the local highschool. They asked for us to all brainstorm, and i had this brilliant stroke of genius.
Truespin: I held up a note pad with the following poster idea:
Reverse Racism, promote equality
reggin edaps cips oobaggij gongin yeknom-hcrop
knihc iloom ekyk sgorf rethgif-thgin
Truespin: I thought it was brilliant... apparently the senior executive didnt. He actually walked over, slapped me, and told me to get the fuck out of the office before he kicked my ass (he was black btw)
Truespin: So needless to say, im not going to think outside the box any time soon...
#115706
* scalpod shakes his head in cornfusion
<Phinny> cornfusion? Is that like being caught in a maize?
<Asquire> corn fusion? is that like ethanol?
#50267
<Klassh> strange, my left hand is warm, but my right hand is cold..
<killjoy> take left hand out of pants.
<killjoy> put right hand in pants.
#19835
<Rodent> Psi has the evil Cthulu-hello Kitty.
<Discokid> I love that Icon
<Psilynx> Hello Cthulhu
<Rodent> Red has the Wh40k hello kitty.
<Rodent> I have the U SuX hello kitty.
<Rodent> I see a trend.
<Rodent> And it's evil.
<Rodent> It's... Hello Kitty.
<Discokid> yay for evil!
* Rodent Bahahahhahaa's
<Technogeek> IN THE GRIM FUTURE OF HELLO KITTY THERE IS ONLY WAR
#302397
<DOZ> they're doing heat jokes man
<DOZ> that's not cool
<LS> I have absolute zero tolerance for those
#14014
<Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
<GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
<Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
<Slerte> err
#182
<Infe5> A PS2 costs ?40,000, a PSOne costs ?15,000, and a Hello Kitty DC costs ?28,800. :(
<EtherMan> how much is that in real money
#23443
*** Signoff: JediJawa (Quit: do you ever just sit around for a minute trying to think of a witty quit message and you can't think of anything so you type a long nonsensical message? Just me then...)
#53212
<Glass_Joe> god I'm such a nerd
<Glass_Joe> I was reading online about this ring from lord of the rings called "the dwarven ring of power", and how it supposedly augmented their fighting abilities
<Glass_Joe> and I said to myself "Haha, it's got +5 to strength", then I laughed like a donkey.
#304158
<welandB> God dammit.
<welandB> I went to the Renaissance Festival and hit it off with a girl so I tore off a piece of paper from the map and wrote down my number for her.
<welandB> So my friend tears off more pieces and writes down "Call Nate for gay sucking and fucking" with my phone number.
<welandB> And starts handing them out.
<welandB> So I take them away from him and stuff them in my pocket.
<welandB> My cat just dragged one right to my mom.
<welandB> We just had a sit-down talk where I had to clarify that I am not soliciting sex from strange men.
#294698
<@Rjx_> the hairiest guy I know is turkish
<@Rjx_> he shaved his stomach one day and found out he had a six-pack
<@Rjx_> and was really happy
#14206
<tague> i want to start a new movement, lets replace God with Allah in
<tague> the pledge and see how long it lasts
<Deke> i wanna replace with it with spam
<Deke> let companies bid on the phrase and raise some cash
<tague> there's an idea
<Deke> "One nation, under < For Rent > "
#294689
[carbine] People should be forced to talk like manpages
[carbine] Straight to the point, and with an example to clarify.
[carbine] Especially women
[carbine] I guess that's why they're not called womanpages though
[mjt] LOL
[carbine] If I were to type "woman irssi" instead of "man irssi" I'd get something like, "This thingy lets you talk to people. Speaking of which I talked to Lindsay today and she's such a bitch! She kept going on and on..." and eventually your computer would lock up because that command is basically an infinite loop.
[jedimstr] "No manual entry for woman"
[carbine] I bet I could find a manual entry on a woman...
#46290
<Tigs> i used to try not to swear
<Tigs> then one day i thought
<Tigs> Fuck it
#21940
[krys] mmm salad
[hoho] salad is what food eats
[krys] then i guess im food
[krys] soooo EAT ME BITCH
#20182
<+timovgod> I had a penis transplant but my hand rejected it
#16588
<tipz> just remember kids
<tipz> hippos eat strawberry ice cream
<thadood> I'll keep that in mind next time I visit your mom.