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#122388
<X-Istence> Oh that was just epic. I two girls one cupped my entire family
<lordoden> lmfao
<lordoden> oh god
<lordoden> thats horrible
<X-Istence> The TV is run over DSL right
<ALT_HACK> wow
<X-Istence> so whenever the TV is on (DVR type system, TVoIP)
<X-Istence> the download speeds drop to practically 0
<X-Istence> So I intercepted teh packets, and ran an MPEG 4 stream of 2 girls 1 cup to the DVR
Comment: #nerdgy irc.freenode.net
#235037
(@Iridium) I had a weird dream last night.
(@Iridium) similar to the email shit, a paparazzo managed to get high res, incontrovertible pictures of Sarah Palin on a farm fucking a horse.
(Lid) she was fucking the horse? as in she was wearing a strap on behind a mare?
(@Iridium) No, she was up under him.
(@Iridium ) I kinda figured normal people wouldn't be concerned with the details of that part.
#300914
< jus> hulk aspergers
< jus> you wouldnt like me WHEN IM IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS
#35635
<Jason_> ./me stabs r0sie to death
<Jason_> FUCKING .
<-- jimmiejaz has kicked Jason_ from #to2600 ((here's a tampon, take care of your period))
#311162
<VesicantDerp> Is there a name for selling your blood plasma, then using that money to get super fucked up on a normal amount of booze while you're low on blood?
<SpaceMarine> no
<SpaceMarine> but there really should be
#311340
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail
#308728
<myself> I'm reminded of alphawolf's story of tracking down some guy who was sending strange traffic, and turned out to live in the next town over.
<myself> Guy's personal website included a pic of himself holding a banana like a gun.
<myself> so, wolfie and Evil head over there, armed with bananas and an Ethereal printout. Bang on the door. Someone answers, looks like the guy in the pic.
<myself> <threatening banana-stance>TELNET POLICE. STOP PINGING GARGAMEL.</stance>
<myself> And they leave.
<myself> Stunned. Silence.
<myself> the packets stopped.
#32396
<Gothic_CatGirl> Who wants to give me their Billing Information?
#2590
<Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory
#46041
<Lord_Iryn> I once drove a golf cart into a lake
<Aerdan> o.o
<Joan> LMAO
<Lord_Iryn> Honestly, How was I supposed to not drive into the lake while getting into a fist fight with my brother
<Lord_Iryn> I just realised something, there is something seriously wrong with my family
<Lord_Iryn> Seriously he was like punching me in the back of the head and I kept saying, "you mess with the driver, bad shit happens." then I was all like, thats it, and punched him in the gut a couple times
<Lord_Iryn> then like a few seconds later, SPLAHS!
<Lord_Iryn> SPLASH!*
<Aerdan> haha
<Lord_Iryn> I see now, my whole childhood was like one giant episode of Jackass
#65016
<DogTheBootyHunter> dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitsonofabitch
<DogTheBootyHunter> I just missed the season finales of two of my shows...
<DogTheBootyHunter> lost track of time
<muttonduck> i watched northern exposure religiously, never missed an episode, even when joel left the series. i was watching the FINAL episode with five mins to go when my 3 yr old daughter fellover in the hallway and banged her head. By the time I got back to the TV the show was finished.
<muttonduck> Now my son is my favourite child.
#7477
* terra begins dousing people in gasoline
<hngkong> Terra, why kill us?
<terra> Shush
<terra> it's perfume
#40151
<Cataclysm> i am getting loaded tonight
<Cataclysm> i have no testes for another week
<Cataclysm> tests
#299789
< yaoi_prophet> haha this guy sitting next to me is playing touhou in class
< PoopOnaShoe> this nerd next to me is chatting on irc or something
< Rabbi-Work> these two guys next to me keep looking at each other's screens
#68418
<clice> yo
<rp> Sitting in some gay training.
<rp> Err..
<rp> The training itself is gay, not that it's teaching you how to be gay.
<clice> nice one
#291749
<+Max[Tea`age]> just sneezed my headphones across the room
#538
<MadHatter> what you know about people and the way things work I could comfortably pass through the hole in my penis
#296704
<JasonDM> finally
<JasonDM> the new realtek audio drivers have an option to disable the auto-detection crap
<DominoEffect> took them long enough
<JasonDM> no more stupid notifications that I plugged/unplugged my headphones, yay
<JasonDM> especially when they're still plugged in and I didn't do anything with them
<DominoEffect> "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "...thanks." "NP DUDE"
<DominoEffect> the little two tone windows noise is enough to let me know it's plugged in all the way
<JasonDM> "HEY YOU JUST UNPLUGGED SHIT" "No...I didn't..." "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "NO!"
#185341
<@utonium> * QUESTION * SECRET of 793722, worth 100 points: acronym soup: dap?
<+PaulATL> d
<+trueeevil> no d?
<+trueeevil> lol?
<+SuzyCat> wha?
<+Zyloch> lol
<the_bandi> parents against dyslexia
<@utonium> Yes! the_bandi! got the answer QUESTION(240576) -> parents against dyslexia <- in 34 seconds and recieves --> 70 <-- points!
Comment: #trivia on EFNet
#23927
<|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a bad time
<Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic"
#73
<ooze> take a hot swedish chick from behind, bend over to her ear. and whisper "i have aids", then try to keep your penis inside of her.
<ooze> thats swedish rodeo.
#44423
<AI> do you know how to get legal free music?
<AI> call a random helpdesk
<AI> you'll get free music for at least 20 minutes
#16283
<jitspoe> when I was little I had a wet dream... dreamed I was taking a pee in the toilet only to wake up and find out it wasn't the toilet I took the pee in...
<Pluto[BHG]> haha thats not a wet dream
<jitspoe> sure it is
<jitspoe> I was all wet :)
#15970
*** Now talking in #clubsi.com
*** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man mount"'
*** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12
#8364
<dn> i'm not sure i could ever endure a d&d session, i'd fall asleep
<Valvados> Not if its a DnD orgy
<Valvados> WHOOHOO, I ROLLED A NATURAL 20! THE PALADIN HAS TO TAKE OFF HIS LOINCLOTH