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#309657
(+tt) I have the best idea for a serial crime
(+tt) I am going to break into people's bathroom windows, flip the toilet paper over so it feeds the other way, and leave.
#43371
<silsor> I think Wikipedia has influenced my university writing style
<silsor> I just wrote "At this time, the Klan had turned to dynamite as a dispute resolution device"
#33267
<Al> tr0n's mother left her body to science, but they sent it back
<tr0n> al's mother left her body to the wolves, but they sent it back
<Al> well somebody ate it
#50715
(teh_Neo) Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
(teh_Neo) fucking song is stuck in my head
(teh_Neo) teh_Neo just noticed the irony in that =(
#71255
<WarHawk> guys can someone give me some tips for girls?
<WarHawk> im just so shy that i just start talking in here rather than to them after school
* Siege sets mode: +b *!*@ZiRC-80795AC0.sttlwa.dsl-w.verizon.net
* WarHawk was kicked by Siege (problem solved. thank me later.)
Comment: irc.zirc.org #flames
#68324
<GoronZ> If I saw a person dress up as an Elf tomorrow I'm gonna shoot them.
<Ragnarok> Yes, I too would be angry seeing the past tense in the future.
#34091
<SA-X[away][soldat]Wf> chaos?
<SA-X[away][soldat]Wf> u a girl?
<Chaos> If by girl, you mean man, then yes.
Comment: #zebeth dreamIRC
#38110
02:14 MrDictionary: My new laptoppy 802.11g wireless card is ace
02:15 Tully: that came already? phew! lucky bastard
02:15 MrDictionary: 75kbs upload to my FTP! EAT THAT!
02:16 Tully: You suck.
02:16 Jamers0n: You lucky fuck.
02:17 Tully: Betya can't shake the laptop about while uploading
02:17 MrDictionary: Just freaking watch me
* MrDicitonary has quit IRC (Ping timeout - Server time 02:18)
02:18 Jamers0n: lol
02:19 * Tully cracks knuckles
#40411
<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker
Comment: the funniest thing you will read in a while
#3360
<kolby> i dont think the number of times ive jacked off to britney spears can be calculated
<kolby> it never gets old
<kolby> i think that's what love is
#62079
<relsqui> my cat just lay down with her chin on my wrist. that's very very fuzzy.
* nova20 applauds relsqui for her perfect conjugation of the verb "to lie"
* nova20 gives relsqui a commondation on behalf of the Chief of the Grammar Police
...
<relsqui> and I just noticed you misspelled "commendation," which is hilarious only because of the context.
<nova20> well, it's the Grammar police, not the spelling polise.
<nova20> oh man
* nova20 facepalms
<nova20> that's "police"
#132604
< doppler> shit, watching the Stevenote has depleted my battery :(
<@gregh> your wallet is next
#76837
<GnrlMc> The closest you ever got to asking her out was using the characters of her name as iterators in your programming projects...
#10822
<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation, those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4 years...
#39051
<xtremeskier> you dont know the alphabet?
<ASM57> i do, i just forgot
<xtremeskier> what grade you in?
<ASM57> 11
<ASM57> i just forgot for a sex
<ASM57> sex
<ASM57> sec
<Telexen> ...yeah he's in 11th grade all right
Comment: #hothardware irc.burghcom.com
#4767
<aRse> dudes.. i'm not eating asparagus again for a while.. i just pissed green
#53682
<Book> Heh, I fell asleep on my keyboard,
<Book> when I woke up notepad was open with a few pages of 'Z's written in it.
#39579
<projectmayhem> last new year someone asked for my resolution and i said 1024x768
#297991
<nim> I remember having to rma classified harddrives when I was in the navy :P
<nim> it was like
<nim> nim> yeah, your hdd's broke
<nim> dell> ok ship them back
<nim> nim> can't, they are classified
<nim> dell> ?!?!
<nim> eventually dell agreed to let me keep the platters
<nim> and just ship them the case
<nim> and the motor
#7165
<^FiCtIoN^> get a tounge ring
<CheeseCookies> lol, coz there good on chicks :D
<Mousey> so is an apron
#38705
* chupachipmunk touches his heart... area
* TallestSilver tries to touch her heart area, but smacks her boob instead
<TallestSilver> Ow....
<chupachipmunk> Hah
* chupachipmunk can touch his chest without hitting boob
<TallestSilver> FUCKIN' BOOBS! I'LL TEACH YOU TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!
* TallestSilver slices off her breasts with a rusty dagger and tosses them away
* chupachipmunk hand Silver some hydrogen peroxide
<Lucifer> yknow, that reminds me of something...
<Lucifer> you've all heard of the Amazons, right?
<chupachipmunk> They are the ancient all-female race who patented one click shopping
#21634
<Chojin_> I mean I'm STILL insulted that she saw me just as a walking dildo
<bngrybt> heh
<bngrybt> yeah that's what tisha thought of me i think
<CommanderStab> I'd be insulted at that Chojin, but only that she acutally BELIEVED she could get away with it
<bngrybt> cuz jody asked her what she liked about me and the first thing she said was practically "well his dick's like 8 inches long!
#140733
<pulse> i remember when i was 16
<pulse> i applied to a dunkin donuts by me, because they were hiring for cashiers
<pulse> 3 weeks later, i hear nothing
<pulse> i go in there after and guess what i see
<pulse> a fucking chick with down syndrome standing at the register being taught by the manager how to use it
<pulse> that made me not want to apply for a job ever again
#309092
<+Dixie> i hate how minesweeper can get into indeterminable situations really late in a game
<%Vaccer> dixie get better at maths
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> vaccer it's not a case of maths. there are plenty of situations where it can end up impossible to know where the bomb is
<@Loskene> just like a real minefield
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> the only way to win is not to play
#311148
<Flanders> $markov Mozilla
<ChelsieBot> Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT lol GOOD IDEA, CHELSIEBOT!
<Kawa> Hold up
<Kawa> Did she just notice she got in a loop?!