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#28339
<@Rjx> I just spent 3 minutes trying to find the wire to my headphones
<@Rjx> then I realised.....THEY ARE WIRELESS HEADPHONES
Comment: #geekissues
#53783
<an0n|Geisha> I like Japan.
<an0n|Geisha> Fucking weirdos, the lot of them.
<Interitus> ...you're the one talking about make a suit out of human skin!
<an0n|Geisha> Human skin is no different from any other animal skin.
<Interitus> you dont see cheetahs running around with the skin of other cheetahs do you?
<an0n|Geisha> No, because Cheetah's lack a sense of irony.
Comment: #nodewar - Sorcery
#298043
SwineFlu has joined #askreddit
SwineFlu infects mexicans
<jerrygofixit> lol
SwineFlu infects americans
<jerrygofixit> fuck
#53836
<NPR> HEY
<NPR> NICE HOUSE
<NPR> BE A REAL SHAME IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT
<NPR> YOU NEED PROTECTION IS WHAT I'M SAYING
<NPR> "OOPS" INSURANCE
<NPR> THE SORT OF PROTECTION THAT ONLY A PUBLIC RADIO SERVICE CAN OFFER
* NPR knocks over your lamp
<NPR> OTHERWISE ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
<NPR> YA FOLLOW!?
#4693
*** Quits: Zathras (Evelyn the dog, having undergone further modification pondered the significance of short-person behaviour in pedal depressed, pan-chromatic resonance, and other highly ambient domains. "Arf," she said.)
#1195
<Guilty> My friends cousin's mom told her kids that if you cursed online the police came to arrest you
<Guilty> So they would type like "Go to h!ll!"
#17941
<GameFang11> He says, and he pulls out sword from the wall
<GameFang11> he loses 3 HP
<GameFang11> The Thief attacks Christ
<Chris-Hotwire-Ashtear> hehehe
<GameFang11> DAMN! *Chris
<Drakkor> man
<Drakkor> you are going to hell
#15562
<Tobal> looks like the UK is working to make pot a non-arestable offence
<ssrit> I'd move there.
<ssrit> Where is that?
#60378
<OpZChAoS> hands up anyone who has ever stuffed up a linux installation
* SKoRM puts hands up
<Peppery> never :)
<SKoRM> put a finger up for every time your windows has crashed?
* SKoRM puts up 17
<Peppery> cant...
<Peppery> fingers dont go that high
#48330
<HonkyKong> It's like people realize that if they stop buying their shitty products, Sony might actually get some QA, but folks just don't care.
<brakk3n> i knew when buying it if it had the words "sony" on it
<brakk3n> it would be a POS
<HonkyKong> It's like an entire generation that's been dropped on their heads one too many times.
<HonkyKong> I mean sure, my brother owns a PS2 and likes it.
<HonkyKong> But he also used to eat lead paint.
<brakk3n> i've owned 10 ps2's
<brakk3n> if that tells anything
<HonkyKong> You drank from the bucket?
#52624
<Shadda> Explaining the concept of referential integrity to a mysql user is like explaining condoms to a catholic
#7467
<tris> all the tech contact email is signed "MFN Corporate Communications" now
<tris> maybe they are the ones running the routers
<neruaL> that would imply that a) they were running and b) someone had control
over it
#21554
Motorbreath151: I love
TheOffspring326: what?
Motorbreath151: oh sorry
Motorbreath151: forgot to finnish my sentence
Motorbreath151: I-KIRJAIN lempiä ilakoida televisio kisat
Motorbreath151: there we go
TheOffspring326: what the fuck
Motorbreath151: i finnished it
Motorbreath151: stupid
Motorbreath151: finnish is a language
#54790
Trey: I want to play games like Half-Life 2 at full settings and shit, what card do I need?
Amarok: So what about HDD fluid? Do you have enough of that? Because you don't want it to seize up and die right?
Trey: oh shit, I'll grab some of that when I go get some more blinker fluid at Wal-mart tomorrow
Amarok: blinker fluid?
Amarok: what the fuck is blinker fluid?
Trey: what the fuck is HDD fluid?
Amarok: Its the fluid that makes the tiny little wheels turn so that your data can be read.
Trey: oh, I thought you were joking
Trey: You don't have to buy that shit do you, I've never even heard of it
Amarok: ...
Amarok: you tool
Trey: fuck it's not real is it
Trey: goddamn
#301369
<shinaku> My prediction is that in another ten years we will look back on this decade with 2020 hindsight.
#44423
<AI> do you know how to get legal free music?
<AI> call a random helpdesk
<AI> you'll get free music for at least 20 minutes
#15790
<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.
#45434
(Ryan0rZ) double wammy, Knox
(Ryan0rZ) your grandma died and you lost your internet
(Ryan0rZ) I'd hate to have that happen to me
(Knox) lol :(
(Ryan0rZ) I can't go very long without the internet
(Ryan0rZ) :'(
Comment: #tag irc.zirc.org
#18424
<Fryth> TV is boring, too uninteractive
<Fembot> use a remote
#297797
<hypr> whats it called when u mix 2 tracks together
<teletitty> mixing?
#27624
<@deez> yeah there's like 6 of us... with the same sense of humor in here
<Skail> who's using it now?
#15448
<[mac]> whats virii?
<[mac]> the linux txt editor?
#304071
< Bobsentme> And then a graduate student came in, overheard about 3 seconds of our conversation, and explained we could do the same thing for free if we just used nmap and a database
< Bobsentme> So...anyone know a good place to hide the body of a graduate student? >.>
< PID1|work> from a forensic lab??
< Bobsentme> yeah.
< Tamber> lecture hall. They won't think of looking there.
< PID1|work> or a tutorial class
< Bobsentme> Tamber: "He's always the first to arrive, but sleeps through my lectures!" "He's dead." "Oh...damn. He was the only one passing the course."
#8463
<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen.
<Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow?
<Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready.
#37256
<pushead> nothing freaks out the girlfriend like graphic threats of sexual torture and murder
<painiac> does she read them, too?
<pushead> she read the latest one
<painiac> hahahaha
<painiac> that makes it all worthwhile
<painiac> what did she say?
<pushead> 'babe, some guy here says he'll kill you and rape your corpse' 'is it painiac?' 'yes' 'then it's funny. laugh with me' 'your friends are stupid and crazy'