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#4280
<O_6> here is my autobiography in 50 lines:
<O_6> wtf
<O_6> goddamn keyboard
<O_6> f;aowheif;oawuhe;faouw\hfe;oauwhfe!
<matts> interesting autobiography
#50220
<Foicite> Nothing brightens your day like Japanese girls gasping and moaning as they laud your sexual prowess.
#8866
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know
#10910
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.
#2635
<asr> 'fo sheezy.
<Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.
#2559
<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize
#111151
<Zealo> English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
#1101
[Guilty] Jean-Claude Van Damme made a movie named "Replicant" in 2001?
[Guilty] When did that come out
(McMoo) 2001
#17298
<xenothrope> WHO IS THE MOST TALENTED PRON STAR?!?!
<hoho> ron jeremy
<[H]Lasuuco> me
<[H]Lasuuco> i can wack off on command
<xenothrope> peter north owns jeremy
<hoho> nah
<isajeep> ummm
<[H]Lasuuco> lol
<isajeep> im not prepared to argue the better parts of male porn stars
<NickBlasta> dont lie jeep
<hoho> jeep, im going by the fact that the guy is fat, ugly, and old but still gets laid every day.
<isajeep> I said im not prepared...I don't have my slides ready
<xenothrope> lmao jeep
<isajeep> hoho thats because he(like me) has mastered his body
<NickBlasta> ROFL
<isajeep> wait
<hoho> so you're fat and ugly like him?
<isajeep> that might sund wrong
<isajeep> *sound
#301943
<scgtrp> "This License Agreement is effective until terminated."
<scgtrp> NO WAY
#4097
<[ric]> pfft... oh, well when I am dead my gravestone will simply read.. http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?search=%5Bric%5D
#29514
<jebus> brb, sex
#300584
Matthew: It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook. We have 11 friends in common. I need new friends.
#34387
* Wong is trapped in an eternal limbo between sleep and the John Honey Building
<Prophet_Tenebrae> that sounds like an episode of star trek: enterprise
<Prophet_Tenebrae> except too interesting.
#28493
<@modernman> Juicy.Pussies.Uncensored.JAV-XRS
<@modernman> id fuckin hope its uncensored
#9041
<phatmike> i want hard boiled eggs
<phatmike> why is that?
<Dayv> Your body is craving extra fat and protein.
<Dayv> Obviously, you are preparing for mitosis.
#60275
<Bjarni> XeryusTC: the reason for your project is failing is that you want to get a life and your progress is to make a homepage and get people from IRC to read it
#310093
<vee> god my brain is so dumb sometimes
<vee> I looked out the window and saw a lot of birds and squirrels and I thought "yeah it's the weekend" as if they all normally have jobs to go to during the week
#51035
<Rjx> so guys
<Rjx> i gotta get my computer to the USA somehow
<Rjx> as cheap as possible
<GerbilWrk> wrap it up in a condom and swallow it
<Jimmothy> put it in a condom and swallow it
<Rjx> you two aren't allowed to talk anymore
#9665
<d4d5d6>anyone interested in beta testing a virus that i just compiled?
<|89|> hell yeah
I Have Finished Sending File virus01.exe to |89|
<d4d5d6> open it
|89| has quit IRC (quit: computer - dead)
<d4d5d6> haha what a tool
#149797
<PSOAddict> ugh. I even have all of the requisite social skills to be liked, according to wikipedia.
Comment: #xkcd
#25129
<ignatz> If you piss off enough people, it's hard to tell the difference between a distributed denial of service attack and public opinion.
#81
<shaft`> I bought it through a special deal at work
<Guilty> The deal where you put what you can under your jacket?
#30517
<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for a server so he finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?"
#336
<nullgod> I'm not quite sure who slack is for, it's harder then REdHat, so it's not for newbies, it's less secure then FreeBSD so it's not for experts, and it's not pretty so it's not for desktops.
<DigDug> slack is for linux zealots :-D