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#31561
<rik> if i had a dollar for every time i had 60 cents, i'd be canada.
#139874
<Stueh> So you know how I started working at an all girls school?
<Stueh> Well
<Stueh> I had to see the school nurse for a checkup, as they's due at the start of term
<Stueh> She started asking me all these questions and putting it down on this form
<Stueh> and she goes "How tall are you?" and I reply "Limp or erect?"
<Stueh> She just grinned and said "limp please" so I said 178cm, then she raised an eyebrow and gigled, then asked "erect?" and I said "About 1 foot taller"
<Stueh> Then this horrified look just comes across her face, and I'm wondering, well, why is she so horrified if she edged me on?
<Stueh> Then I realised she's looking behind me... I turn around, and there's this group of year 11 students
<Stueh> I'm like "I'm talking about my height" and this one, with a big grin, goes "You grow a foot when you get a boner?"
<Stueh> "Yes I do and no you can't."
<Stueh> The nurse looked like she was going to fucking kill me XD
#31493
Velociraptor: Do you have ne updog?
SAMrhodes87: What the fuck is UPDOG?
Velociraptor: nuthin much wha bout u?
#67276
* DreadPirate pictures the airline handing Mango a parachute and pointing her towards the door
Mango: DP: OI THERE! I'm very much male!
DreadPirate: oops :)
Mango: >.<
PinkFreud: at least I'm not the only one who makes that mistake. :P
DreadPirate: heh - glad to know I'm not alone as well
Mango: Hmm.
Mango: When you thought of me as a girl, was I pretty?
#143405
< mrpull> my little boy (finally) made the transition from diapers to "big boy" underwear. On his first day back to pre-school he dropped trou and showed the whole class his Lightning McQueens.
< mrpull> and it created a domino effect of 3YRO's showing their undies
< mrpull> I didn't see it, but it looks hilarious in my mind
#25662
<GM-Bot> What country is directly north of the continental United States?
<Fekko> cnanda
<vperez> canad
<Niftoria> canadar
Comment: (While playing a stupid trivia game)
#34107
[reeedobs] brb...got to go poop
[Snow] I think it's written into the original IRC RFC that IRC would be a convenient way for people in different geographic regions
to communicate and keep up to date on each others' bowel movements.
[Snow] Indeed!
[Snow] RFC1459:
[Snow] Abstract
[Snow] The IRC protocol was developed over the last 4 years since it was
[Snow] first implemented as a means for users on a BBS to chat amongst
[Snow] themselves and to keep each other informed on intestinal
[Snow] minutae. Now it supports a world-wide network of servers and
[Snow] clients, and is stringing to cope with growth. Over the past 2 years,
[Snow] the average number of users connected to the main IRC network has
[Snow] grown by a factor of 10.
[Snow] J. Oikarinen & D. Reed, May 1993.
[Snow] I shit you not.
[Snow] No pun intended.
#39228
<JaneLame> i sent help@google.com an invitation to gmail, and at the "attached note" section i wrote - HOW DO I SEND AN INVITATION???!!!
<JaneLame> so they just sent me another invitation
<JaneLame> i think i'm gonna send one back
<issuez> haha
<issuez> IS THIS HOW?
<JaneLame> :D
Comment: #geekissues
#258726
<AtoB> I needed an extra xp cd, so i downloaded one and formatted my computer. When i was about to reinstall, i found out that i had forgot to burn the cd...
#1976
<__NoBoDy_> comp is slow as fuck right now freezin up a bit
<__NoBoDy_> heh
<__NoBoDy_> but im a gangsta and just dont give a fuck
<BC|HyDRO> jeah, real gangstas just let their comps run slow
#36278
<Bubbaprog> what do you call a resident of tampa
<nephaft> hmm....
<Bubbaprog> it's not Tampan
<BeadGrl> tampian?
<Bubbaprog> actually
<Bubbaprog> it's tampanian
<BeadGrl> hmm ok
<aeonite> People from Tampa are hot, moist and full of blood
<aeonite> So Tampon sounds correct
#62085
<jengelh:##c++> void jesus_ify(void) { return dynamic_cast<wine>(water); }
#25163
<Motaro > Live Journal would've been so much better if it were called Jive Journal.
<cylinder > shoudl've been called STICK YOUR FUCKING LIFE IN HERE AND THEN WHINE WHEN PEOPLE MAKE CRUDE COMMENTS Journal
#28686
<Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or football game shown on TV at a bar?
<CrustyNutz> You can do it put your ass into it!
<TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up line..
<xTrinityLuvx> yeah just be yourself
<speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
<speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
<Evil_Couch> zap her with a fucking tazer and then drag her back to your place
<Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food ration in half.
#114641
<AuntieEm> Bah, lots of men with ornamental balls :)
<^Da5id^> AuntieEm: yeah, they're called 'married'
#311141
<slidercrank> is that true that Spanish programmers have to write ¡ along with ! in their code? such as "while (¡var!) {..}" The same with the ternary operator: a=¿b>0? b; -b;
Comment: ##c++:
#10930
<rubio_> i'd be afraid of my penis shrinking
<rubio_> to the point it looks like a clit
<rubio_> the humidity here already fuxors with it!
<SEoD> hehe good excuse
<rubio_> hahahahah
<rubio_> its embarassing when a stripper grabs it and stifles a laugh
<rubio_> then pats you sympathetically on the shoulder
<SEoD> hehe and puts money in your pocket
<rubio_> hahahahah
<SEoD> "go see a doctor"
#31949
<Riley> We used to telnet uphill both ways in the snow and we LIKED IT!
#15519
<ouija> He likes to hit on girls
<ouija> and then go like
<ouija> HAHA HA!!! I'm QUEER!
#18137
<MofieJoe> if that really is wabby's sister
<MofieJoe> he should think about fucking her
#311658
<wayfinder> the original aladdin being a fairy tale about a chinese kid btw
<wayfinder> and the lion king is shakespeare rehashed
<wayfinder> so uh,
<T-101> whereas avatar was pocahontas rehashed
<wayfinder> yeah hahah
<wayfinder> and a bug's life was the seven samurai
<GargajCNS> i dont really mind rehashes as long as they were in an interesting new skin
<GargajCNS> also known as the Ed Gein approach
#1511
(e-city) why do they rip trance as one huge mp3????
(Graeme) 'cos it's mixed, and the gaps you'd get in winamp would spoil your ecstasy trip
#4715
<@Spidey> you can get stamps anywhere
<@Spidey> grocery store, convenient store
<@Spidey> ;[
<@Spidey> -t+ce?
<@josho> setting modes on your sentences again, addict?
#3210
<Survivor> heh , metallica really sux
<Waldo> yeah, they're a shitty mix of country and rock
<Survivor> they was a good band before 90`s
<Waldo> was they?!?!
* Waldo pokes survivor in the eye
#31458
*** Signoff: Chilled_Mango (Quit: I feel like a mosquito in a nudist camp -- I don't know where to begin.)