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#51190
<RPharazon> I was reading a rather nice article about suicide, and what the consequences were.
<GoneWacko> Well, generally, you die.
#24600
<kak> Alereon you're a dumb fucking cunt thanks for your help i'm going to go commit suicide
<@Alereon> I love it when problems solve themselves!
#15565
pinkboy so, like, how the FUCK do you let your wife get to 1200lbs?
ScottM <pinkboy> so, like, how the FUCK do you fuck your 1200lb wife?
pinkboy I can't imagine that it would be too difficult, unless of course you're picky about finding the real vagina.
#8135
<Starlet> <--- law student. future lawyer.
<Jerub> <-- computer programmer. future defendant.
#12122
<]RS[Sleepy> See, Canadians might not have a powerful army, but we can have stable @#$%ing servers :D
<Daffelz> yeah because the one guy in your army is a computer whiz
#300914
< jus> hulk aspergers
< jus> you wouldnt like me WHEN IM IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS
#5604
<neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
<neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
<neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
<neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
<neo[soul]> fucking idiot
#305793
<jenni> i should apparently empty my sofa more often
<jenni> i found a laptop i didn't remember i owned
#152644
<Crucial> whats a quick way to push ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew to 50 or
so workstations
<Mo> cycle power to the building
#39964
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> oh god that was funny!
<+kiracatgirl> ?
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> she just jumps in bed all of a sudden and looks at me
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What time is it!?"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "It's 12:30 honey"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> ... "oh crap, the alarm was supposed to go off at 12:20"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What are you talking about? You don't wake up until 6:20"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What time is it?"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "It's 12:30"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "ah, monkeys"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> and she falls back down
<+kiracatgirl> monkeys?!
<+urgan> lol, mokeys
#70439
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES!
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#12193
<missing> a chick walks by, u wish u could sex her
<missing> but ya standin on the wall like u was poindexter!
<akaIDIOT> since when is sex a verb?
<corngrits> i had sex
<corngrits> isnt that a verb ?
<ceraph> no, thats a miracle
#111
<jestuh> i was trying to go the speed limit so i didn't get a ticket but a cop got me in a school zone
<DigDug> How much?
<jestuh> i'm talking about need for speed not real life
#7823
<alec_eso> however my balls remain dry and that makes me somewhat sad.
#60255
< larsivi> heh, I talked to this sysadmin once who wondered where all the printers in his network came from ... it turned out his search script started at 10.226.0.69, and ended at .68, making him search the whole internet for unsecured printers ...
< larsivi> the search had taken 21 days ...
Comment: #d @ freenode
#34520
<Djinna> i saw a pin this afternoon that says 'just because i'm a gay man doesn't mean i'll turn down a blowjob from a woman'
Comment: #bifemunix
#44930
<beavis-> i can get an ascii character in windows by doing alt-some numbers
<beavis-> is there an osx equivalent?
<Sam-I-Am> dunno
<beavis-> you're a shitty computer geek, you know that?
#1856
(dOkTeR---) doesnt matter how hot a girl is, if they do drugs and have a stupid personality, they are just as ugly as the fat bitch who won the pie eating contests
#6512
<xorg> you know how you hang up the phone after talking to an asshole
<xorg> and you say "Asshole"
<xorg> well
<xorg> in my brain, that has superimposed "goodbye"
<xorg> i talk to that many assholes
#306002
thoriumchameleon: !seen goldfinch
Sploosh: goldfinch was last seen in #LFS-support at Fri Dec 24, 2010 [04:45] GMT saying 'guys i heard a scream from down the road but im shitting bricks what do i do'
#20007
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#4027
<RokChik> just had my first mammogram and anytime you flatten anything that much, it just ain't ever going back to being fluffy and firm again. I just may sue.
#57047
<Mel>People make misstakes daniel, ive made plenty misstakes but i try not to make the smae misstake three times
<Mel> same*
#6857
*** Sparks has quit IRC (Quit: You have never really, truly known the joys of riding on a public bus until you look around and realize that the people sitting next to you are the same ones who converse with cheese on a regular basis...)
Seraph: Nothing wrong with talking to cheese. :)