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#14492
<PinkShirt> jt has a handicapped plate, because his penis is so small.
<PinkShirt> it's classed as a "sever disability"
<jtstocker> ha ya
<jtstocker> HEY! i dont have a fucking car
<jtstocker> asshole

#8353
<Seren> I've seen so many penises, but I swear, the minute some guy you don't know takes his pants off in a classroom environment and is all happy about it ... you almost shit yourself.
<melusine> Happy happy? O_o As in "Teacher, my still life is moving!" happy? O_o

#1381
<Durtro> an army of swedish surgeons couldn't make him a girl.

#1730
<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

#301866
<indigo> 6750[~9iurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (continued for several lines)
<rogueclown> ???
<@packrat> theres a cat on indigo's keyboard
<Sneakyness> hahahahahahahahahahahaha
<@packrat> thats my guess
<rogueclown> meow.
<Sneakyness> :3
<indigo> =~s--------------------------------------------------------- (continued for several lines)
<nullspace> rawr
<indigo> =sss[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ (continued for several lines)
<nullspace> shoo cat
-!- indigo was kicked from #i3detroit by packrat [indigo]
(twenty minutes later)
-!- indigo [~indigo@theross.com] has joined #i3detroit
<indigo> well, sorry about that
<Stormgren> cat?
<indigo> i don't know
<indigo> i think i've been sitting here all that time
(two hours later)
<indigo> so, i've discovered the cause of my earlier flood
<indigo> i've been informed there *was* a cat on my keyboard
<indigo> it was another keyboard with a screen session 20 miles away

#57613
<Troglodyte> Dude everyone gets crushes on me until they get to know me
<Troglodyte> I'm so good at faking being awesome at first but then I lose it after a while
<Troglodyte> It's like hula-hooping
<Troglodyte> You can only keep it going for so long before your hips get tired

#41891
LCobraG90: ok i pasted it like u said to
[I][c][e]: Ok, good.
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
Deranged: >:)
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hey
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
[I][c][e]: keke
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
Deranged: Hiya
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
Deranged: hehehe
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hey again..
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
[I][c][e]: Hahaha
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has joined #scripting.
Deranged: Boo!
* LCobraG90 (LCobraG90@68.125.32.Vb21=) has parted #scripting.
* Deranged highfives Icey
* [I][c][e] highfives Derry
Deranged: Who'd have thought he wouldn't notice the little 'on *:TEXT:*:#:{ /p $chan }' in the script we gave him? >:)

#14827
(ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.

#16406
<Anecdotist> I never watched the Power Rangers. So I guess I just figured that they were like forest rangers, but more powerful. Maybe even as powerful as me. I know that I am pretty powerful when it comes to forest stuff, because Smokey the Bear is all, "Only you can prevent forest fires." If I'm the only one, I must be pretty powerful.

#14511
(@CitizenC): I'd pay $100 US to shoot a cow with a rocket launcher.

#64256
(+wolrah) I need to get a job building fire extinguishers.
(+wolrah) I just realized the greatest way to say "I quit"
(+wolrah) Fill them with gasoline

#11158
-|Darky|ZzZ- Repeat Flood Detected Please do not repeat in #pack (Last & Only Warning)
<|Darky|ZzZ>  princess: Please do not repeat in #pack
<princess> ack! not again! :(
* princess says again, i am no fl00der (
<princess> :(
<apekatt> that's just a sign that says you need to expand your vocabulary
<apekatt> hehe

#57699
< plasmadis> Woman successfully smuggles gun into prison by hiding it in the one place only a woman can hide an object. Is found out after gun fires when she tries to sit down
< plasmadis> pwned

#77
<Mac_BETA> I will give you 4 gigs o pr0n for yer mercedes

#74348
fibrosis> It has even been estimated that one in 10 Europeans are conceived in an Ikea bed.
dalamar> That's an awful lot of Ikea beds.
fibrosis> or a handful of very dirty beds

#29930
<PigsCantFly> whats the most you've wanked in one day?
<SteamedHams> 5 guys

#3630
<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore:  yeah, that's a bad ass song

#167250
<an0n> If I ever find out someone has an inflatable love doll, I'm going to steal it and leave a note like "i've tried to make it work, Steve, but all you care about is yourself. What about MY needs? You treat me like a piece of meat, just here to fuck and cast aside. You've really let me down... :,("

#138821
<Jacois> I remember before the internet when I used to get turned on by a cleavage. Now it takes 2 girls and a cup.

#2049
<Ferney> I think the clog is bonged
<Ferney> LOL
<Ferney> whoa...I think the BONG is CLOGGED

#3652
<blazemore> one time i was camping with a bunch of friends and me and this girl were sleeping next to each other and we were both laying on our sides with our asses touching and i accidentally farted

#3473
<Guilty> Oh shit who is watching the Olympics
<Guilty> Gay mans dream
<Guilty> In the ice skating relay thing
<Guilty> The guy going next sticks his ass out and the guy before him (skating up behind him) grabs the guy and grinds into his ass and then pushes

#6159
<Seph][roth> Mike doesn't like it when I ban whole countries.
<Seph][roth> Subnetmasks and ISPs are fine.

#8782
<maywood> Has a PC ever been known to start mysteriously working after it was thrown out a window?
<kevin> Nope, I've never known throwing a PC out the window to help. However, what I did find while I was working at my last job was that intimidation *does* work. When I was having a particularly bad day, I used to take some old equipment that we wouldn't have been able to sell outside, and go Office Space on it. Then, I'd bring the carcass inside, and leave it in plain view, to serve as a warning for the other computers. It worked remarkably well.

#33865
<Megasaxon> haha
<Megasaxon> americans amuse me
<Megasaxon> they're so dump
<Megasaxon> er
<Megasaxon> :(
<Bendit> hahahahahaha

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