Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#17347
<kinzillah> I'm going to build a random number generator that works, it will be a small mechanical device that shakes dice and then reads what number came up, then we will have real random number in computers, none of this seeding with the timer shit.
#8604
<Atg[M]> Their latest album was going to be called " You are gay" and the cover was going to be a mirror.
#30468
<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively
#34477
<umopepisdn> About a month ago one of my tires popped.
<umopepisdn> I ended up cutting about half of the tire off of the rim with a pair of scissors because I didn't know what to do.
<umopepisdn> Then I realized that the spare tire has got a rim on it.
Comment: Ah yes... nerds and cars =)
#1183
(notME) i have a 6 week old kitten
(notME) and my 2 year old cat raped him
(notME) shoved his feline penis in his bum
(notME) i watched it
(notME) i wasn't going to spank him
(notME) d00d no
(notME) i turned around
(notME) and he's balls are smacking my kitten in the ass
(notME) i didn't want to spank him
(notME) cuz it'd only get him off faster
#157664
<y-yeah> UGH one of our birds died
<y-yeah> how to properly dispose of parakeet corpse
<stynxno> toilet
<bp> blender
<duckstab> do you have a deep fryer
#6753
<CyberPunkWanabe> I broke my new stereo that I got after christmas cause I broke the one I got for christmas..
<CyberPunkWanabe> I shouldnt be allowed within 10 ft of electronics
#300810
Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a friend
Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she can't get pregnant
lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL.
#7496
<Aura> oh my god
<Aura> i just passed one of thos adult diaper commercials
<Aura> they are trying to make it look sexy
<Aura> they showed this sexy leg with polished nails
<Aura> going into a diaper
<SkyCriesX> thats canada for you
#151396
<Garrett> I was speaking with a student the other day, he was all like, "One thing I like about being a student? I get a week vacation man! I'm sitting at home, playing video games, watching porn, sleeping in, while you, you my friend, you gotta go to work."
<Garrett> and I said, "sure. But while you're watching porn, playing games, and so on, I'm making $600."
#1975
<c-rock> Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock n roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.
#29731
<Breej> Hey.
<Jaayy> Breej do you molest little boys?
<Breej> no.
<Jaayy> SICK FUCKING PERVERTED FUCK!
<Jaayy> oh.
<Jaayy> You said no. My bad.
#23391
<incarnate> IM FUCKING BORED
<kevin> so go masturbate
<Arma> Masturbation would only give temporary relief.
<Arma> And a huge loss of chi.
<kevin> you'd also be killing potential children :|
<kevin> MURDERER!
<incarnate> lol
<kevin> i'm gonna use that one on my future kids if i ever catch them masturbating.
<kevin> "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" "i was jerking it, dad!" "YOU MURDERER!!!!!!!!"
#20071
* Doughboy ponders
* Beryllium contemplates
* Doughboy slips Beryllium a penny
* Beryllium makes a template of the coin
* Doughboy turns Beryllium in for counterfiting
<Beryllium> I just wanted to open-source it! Money was meant to be free!
#10714
<Joe_> <DarkVeng> if you wanna just be a yesman, there are thousands of jobs in corporate amercia that have better hours and better pay for less work <-- where are they?
<Technogeek> Enron.
#30792
«%Jeeba» One time my dad made me close my eyes and suck some mollasses out of a hose, Still dont know why though.
#22537
<percilicious> !8ball Am I sexier than Leonardo Dicaprio?
<ChanServ> percilicious: Yes.
<percilicious> !8ball You're just saying that to get in my
<ChanServ> percilicious: Yes.
<percilicious> !8ball Well given the fact that I would never sleep with an online bot, am I sexier than Leonardo Dicaprio?
<ChanServ> percilicious: No.
#8705
<Jon-> doing some C coding ;)
<Anselmo> pfft
<Anselmo> Learn a real language
<Anselmo> Like Amiga Basic
#1087
<Amanda> OKAY, I'LL GO READ THIS HORRIBLE BOOK
<Seros> the bible?
#771
<c-rOCK> I CANT WAIT TO SEE THAT COLLEGE GIRL GET RAPED BY A ALIIGATOR
#54059
<mmap> i have a mormon friend that i corrupted, he'll drink a beer with me now :P
<_Arthur> Hey, I'm a Catholic (lapsed)
<Feldegast> _Arthur so do u or do u not belive in little rubber things?
<mmap> pencil erasers?
#133888
(@Hezzy) it pisses me off knowing that i'm probably having one of the worst days in my entire life and some faggot somewhere is having the best day of his
(@Hezzy) fucking arsehole, whoever he is
#7420
<firebrand> damn, i cannot spell today
<A|exander> you just did.
<firebrand> fuck you ;)
#5863
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#26340
<+Camus> im palazed!
<+Fleebis> Palazed?
<+Fleebis> Paralyzed?
<+Camus> yea
<+Camus> close
<+Camus> kinda
<+Camus> i just type in the first letter
<+Camus> and hit a couple keys
<+Fleebis> oh, i underktnjd