Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#17975
A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch out olsen twins!
#176553
< nitrogen> who played tony stark in the new iron man?
< curgoth> Robert Downey Jr.
< curgoth> best choice for an alcoholic ego-maniac evar
< Novel> I thought that would be charlie sheen
< jose_> i thought that was gw bush
< curgoth> ok, but no one is going to believe charlie sheen playing a genius
< curgoth> and, um, ditto
< curgoth> imagine either sheen or bush uttering the line "if my math is right - and it always is..."
#18503
<splat_v2> bob is in a pigfucker mood!
* HrdwrBoB goes off in search of a pig :)
<splat_v2> you wanna make it squeal!
<splat_v2> and its good cause they dont sweat!
* HrdwrBoB doesn't ask how you know that
#24395
<poohbear0> hey what's cracken asl
<Teeks> 80/f/Near you, loverboy.
<poohbear0> i am a girl and i am 14/f/virginia
<Teeks> Oh. Well, let us start again, shall we?
<Teeks> I am 18, handsome and Nordic.
#2760
<evenpar123|Dean> how much is long distance?
<Slant> evenpar123|Dean: Depends on your carrier.
<evenpar123|Dean> Satan
<Slant> 666 cents a minute.
#101889
<Rjx> i think the internet makes smart people smarter and stupid people louder
<rm-fr> SHUT UP!!!
#303787
<femmefan1946> Those drivers have tight schedules to follow. You'd have a hard time flagging one down.
<femmefan1946> Unless you were wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> Heh. I'm male. Though this is Vancouver...it would probably be fairly easy to flag a driver down, if I was wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> It works for my uncle.
#6849
<cmw> ok how about this one
<cmw> Dear Natalie,
<cmw> How's it going studying at Harvard? I bet it's hard. I am sorry my sweet but sometimes life is hard. I love you. You are so beautiful and smart my darling. God made you so perfect. Will you marry me? We could be so happy together, forever. We have so much in common, you are in Star Wars and I like Star Wars. Can't you see we were made for each other.
<cmw> Yours Always,
<cmw> Cody Crenshaw
<ShadowFang11> yea, thats good
#47369
(@Rjx`) two words:
(@Rjx`) correction lfuid
(@Rjx`) *fluid
Comment: EFNet/#geekissues
#40269
E/a: thanks for getting back to me sara
E/a: *tip hat*
sara: hahahah hats are so pre-internet
#8866
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know
#303788
< the_wench2> Aikar: I removed --spider, but now I get files :(
< d3x> the_wench2, did you mean flies?
#7659
<xwred1> hmm... do you recommend I replace windows me? I have lots of friends, I can wares lunix for free. thats what hackers use, isn't it?
<TheOnyx> You want to warez linux?
<xwred1> you have to, I hear that unix stuff is expensive. windows me came with my gateway, I tried to ask them for lunix but they told me not to get it because it was buggy and stuff
#295823
<jenny^> hi
<jenny^> can i ask?
<BlueDoll> about?
<jenny^> r u open minded?
<BlueDoll> yeah
<BlueDoll> why?
<BlueDoll> what is it?
<jenny^> do u know how to make a married woman hot?
<BlueDoll> just try to shape up work out, eat a low carb diet.. dress up nicely
<jenny^> u get me wrong
<BlueDoll> uh oh..
#8965
*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronin\dm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call
#154662
<tgies> my mom stopped saying that we should shoot all illegal immigrants because she saw a video on the news of a guy jumping a fence and then making the signum crucis
<tgies> that's pretty fucking funny
<tgies> they all deserve to die until such time as we have conclusive mom-reviewed evidence that some of them are catholic
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
#40487
<SpazMatt> gah i just realized my zipper was down but the sad thing is I noticed when my dog was eyeing my pants
#4119
* TpS has returned, cleaning shit stains off my panties. [gone:3h28m12s]
<BDawkins> party on
<Yourname> my my! you've been cleaning panties for 3 hours!!!
<Yourname> lol
<sycon> heh
<TpS> the stains were really bad
#51577
<Theropissed> Hey tuqui
<Theropissed> I enlisted.
<Tuqui-tuqui> yes vash :D
<Tuqui-tuqui> schweet!
<Tuqui-tuqui> you have server IP?
<Theropissed> ...
<Theropissed> as in
<Theropissed> joined the army.
<Theropissed> ...
<Tuqui-tuqui> oh...
Comment: #cainslair, etg
#151114
<MystMystMystMyst> There's a famous guy who reminds me of you: Richard Borcherds.
<bbot> What was he convicted of?
#8443
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.
#61115
<^DX^> all day in class I thought I was sitting next to a gay asian kid
<^DX^> so I didn't want to look at him
<^DX^> then I finally looked and it was just a petite cute white girl
Comment: #SEO EFnet
#61152
<kosh> we have a bug that occurs on the 31st of a month
<kosh> so once a month we get a bug report
<kosh> it gets assigned to a developer within 24 hours
<kosh> who then fiddles for a bit before marking it "unable to reproduce"
#239514
<iMaal> wtf
<iMaal> i listened half the metallica album with no sound on :D
#86110
<Stueh> Hehe, in Aus the legal age is 18 and no one cares, just as long as you say you're over 18 :P
<Stueh> I walked into a store when I was 14 to buy smokes, and the guy looks at me and, instead of asking how old I was, he was like "What's your birthday?" and I gave the answer I'm used to "5th Febuary, 1989." Then just thought "FUCK!"
<Stueh> He then looked me up and down and goes: "You know, if you go outside and run around the block four times, you'll be four years older "
<Stueh> So I went out for 10 minutes, came back in, he asked me my birthday, I said 1985, and he sold to me :)
<Stueh> Welcome to Australia! :)