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#14318
Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..)
#56459
<@the_unknown> watching the history channel, tis a show on "the antichrist"
<@the_unknown> just went to a commericial break with the messag
<@the_unknown> message
<@the_unknown> "The antichrist is brought to you by Lexus"
<@bockman> haha
#25239
<@Kamakazi> i've seen a cat land on it's head
<@Kamakazi> it was my fault
<@Kamakazi> i tried to make it do 2 backflips
<@Kamakazi> it was at my friends house
<@Kamakazi> i wanted to see if they ALWAYS landed on their feet
<@Kamakazi> so i dropped him and he did.
<@Kamakazi> and i was like hmm...
<@Kamakazi> i wonder how many backflips he could do then
#16361
<Jake> so I got dissed by this girl i was talking to online
<Jake> we were getting along really well and she wanted to meet
<Jake> but she wanted a picture
<Jake> so I sent her one (got one of hers, she was fine)
<Jake> she said "I'm really looking for some one more 'athletic'"
<Jake> bummer
<Jake> so i say
<Jake> well im trying hard, ever since i have been able to afford the full time trainer and chef I've lost over 200 lbs
<Jake> she says you can afford a trainer/chef
<Jake> i say yeah
<Jake> she changes her mind about meeting
<Jake> i tell her to go fuck herself
#311601
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
#310172
<Bike> i'm ten pages in to an ethernet-phy manual and i'm pretty sure the internet is impossible
#28822
<Xerox> Heh. Sailor Moon's greatest enemy would be an old man with a camera. "Quick Sailor Scouts, transform and defeat him!" "But... He's got a camera..."
#31576
[walking_wounded] kmart
[walking_wounded] its like the opposite of disneyland
#65178
<dsfargeg> right, I don't even know how to start this calculus question :(
<cjr> I've got a phd on mathematics
<dsfargeg> really?? what do you do now?
<cjr> ?
<cjr> ohhh, i meant a .pdf
<dsfargeg> fuck you
#27320
<Guy> Do a little dance, make a little love, with your hand tonight, with your hand tonight.
#304801
<SaberUK> Rfsancho: do soviet russia jokes make sense in russian?
<Rfsancho> they do if you reverse them
<Rfsancho> "in US of A, you drive CARS!"
#34264
<AnimeFreak> happy, are there any decent neo geo emulators for linux?
<happy> had you bothered to look, you would already have your answer. i can only therefore assume that your asking me is actually a thinly veiled request for anal penetration
#20787
<who2> why does everyone hate me because i'm jewish :(
<sinistron> i know how ya feel my grandfather died in a concentration camp
<who2> really?
<sinistron> yeah he fell off the guard tower
#50901
Xeno: *listens to bananphone*
Xeno: its been stuck in my head
Duke: Oh man
Xeno: To top it off a friend online started typing hte lyrics.
Duke: Ring ring ring ring ring ring rign bananaphone
Duke: I'd like to see that guy in a punk band
Duke: Ring ring ring BANANARCHY!!!!
Xeno: ...I could scoure the internet for ages and never find an emoticon to either praise or insult you
#309850
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat
#2053
<Gwar> u might as well be holding your penis if you're using a joystick in quake
#17080
<mrkikass> i mean if she took her pants off im sure id get plenty of energy real quick but other than that i didnt feel like it
#307804
<@timmo> i have found that smartphones have kept me from drunk texting ugly girls
<@timmo> due to their face popping up in every text
#38633
<Ghost> go blow your own trumpet :p
<heinz> ;)
<heinz> thats a physical impossibility!
<Talin> Not true!
<heinz> (I don't own a trumpet)
<Talin> :
<Talin> owned.
#34225
(scone) r u always in here
(+kangie) im a citizen
(+kangie) thats why i have the +
(@Whelan) yeah but we have laptops with Wireless cards
(@Whelan) and we just walk around with them strapped to us that way we never have to leave
#29877
<rezza> wow this 2.6 linux kernel is a big improvement on the 2.4 series... i can do all sorts of crap at the same time with no slowdown...
<mojomonkee> while you're compiling programs and updating dependencies at blazing speeds
<mojomonkee> i'm actually doing things
#16793
<`bb20> i have some definition, but i want it to be cut
<`Munky> i can cut you if you like let me get my plastic rusty spoon
<`bb20> hold on...let me get my tetanus shot
#31531
<[J|F]> It's freaky when porn has good stereo sound, it feels like I forgot to turn off my speakers and everyone can hear.
<[J|F]> oh shit.
#297590
<@tom> Flava Flav, a reality television star, stopped by to see Michael Jackson's family at their compound in Encino about 4 p.m. today but left shortly afterward.
<@markbach> they needed him to determine the time of death
#6006
<Kaje> my friend at camp brought his psx and gathered us all into his room to watch him beat it