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#295402
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck
#38924
<Psi> so nex are you still not going to abandon windows?
<nex> I don't know that I've ever intended to completely abandon windows
<nex> that's not true,
<nex> I've planned to kick windows to the curb lots of times,
<nex> but only when I was really pissed off at it
<nex> and I didn't really mean it
<nex> kindof like being pissed at a girlfriend: "Fuck you bitch! I'm through with you! Get your ass out of my house!" and then a few hours later: "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it. Come back, please."
<Psi> you pussy
<nex> my relationship with Linux has always been like the bitch I fucked while windows and I were broken up
#852
<doraemon`> one of my best friends sells herself for 150 bucks a trick
<doraemon`> she rules
#298435
<misterx> :\
<misterx> <little sister> do you do anything besides download star trek?
<misterx> wtf kinda image does she have of me
#32730
<@Bringa> war3 is much more rewarding.. you need to actually MATCH UP against other real opponents
<@Bringa> you develop some sort of skill
<@Bringa> and measure it with other people
<@Bringa> whereas in Diablo2 it's like penis vs hand
< Nens> lol
<@Bringa> stroke stroke stroke click click oh look I came a Grandfather.
< Nens> multiplayer masterbation is good :p
<@Bringa> Great
<@Bringa> then you get together with others and compare cumstains.
< Nens> lol
<@Bringa> Yeah it's great and all at first
<@Bringa> novelty value
<@Bringa> but once the stink sets in...
#13935
<total> fucking fantastic phone
<total> phone = movie
#13094
<SexcBlnde> I want a creamy chicken pizza
<Bart> yeah same! but I want meatlovers
<SexcBlnde> Hmm
<Bart> we could get half and half!
<SexcBlnde> ?? LOL like who will buy the other 2 halves?? ?;)
<Bart> you are joking right?
<SexcBlnde> ??whatttt??
#60290
<_Foxy> And I am sitting in math next to the hottest chick ever cuz the teacher said thats the only thing that will keep me awake :/
<_Foxy> I was always sleeping and man...my dick is in pain after 2 hours next to her with her miniskirt!
<_Foxy> damn I'm gonna watch some more porn
<_Foxy> brb
#32718
<Allahkat> I would like to do a comparison between fraknet's #fark and #frak.
<Allahkat> #Frak: <ocean2> a^2 + b^2 = c^2
<Allahkat> <ocean2> where c is the longest side of a triangle
<Allahkat> #Fark: <Allahkat> Well, if you have a small weener, you can put it in my bum.
<Allahkat> <Wintermute> front bum?
<Allahkat> <Allahkat> Both bums.
<ocean2> haha
<Allahkat> Does anyone see a slight difference?
<ocean2> i'm not sure
<Allahkat> HAHA
Comment: Channel comparison
#4077
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah
#8767
<undrewb> I keep telling you, you can come work for me
<MMouse> what would i be doing?
<Tippytoes> cleaning his house
<undrewb> delphi programming :)
<MMouse> urgh
<MMouse> would i have to learn delphi?
#30560
<munkey> back when i was a kid, i had a good wholesome role model
<munkey> his name was mario
<munkey> he busted blocks with his head
<munkey> but he was a good guy
<munkey> not like all these thugged out rapper dudes
<munkey> have you ever seen nelly bust a block with his head to reveal coins?
<munkey> i think not.
#58230
<BBX25> I wonder...why don't male humans eat their children? It happens a lot in the animal kingdom!
<BBX25> *Pictures a man with his mouth open, right at the mouth of the Vagina in a labour room, as the baby crowns*
<Emerl> SPAWN CAMPING
<Emerl> >_>
<RandomExtremity> gahahahhaa
<RandomExtremity> Emerl win
<Emerl> Sorry, had to say it
<BBX25> XDDD EMERL
<BBX25> Baby "S**tty map"
<BBX25> Mother "Crappy team"
<BBX25> Nurse "Lag!"
<RandomExtremity> Father "pwnt"
#820
<TwiLyght> Toby on @#gayphonesex @#gaydads4sons @#gayteensex @#gayboysex @#gayteenboys
<TwiLyght> ack!
<TwiLyght> you dirtied my computer with /whois toby
#302356
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY
#3809
<Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
<Scofco> I pass out
<Scofco> well, I actually faint
<Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me
#9152
<Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
<Falcon24> ok
<ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc
#1183
(notME) i have a 6 week old kitten
(notME) and my 2 year old cat raped him
(notME) shoved his feline penis in his bum
(notME) i watched it
(notME) i wasn't going to spank him
(notME) d00d no
(notME) i turned around
(notME) and he's balls are smacking my kitten in the ass
(notME) i didn't want to spank him
(notME) cuz it'd only get him off faster
#44241
Dan> So here are two pyros comparing burn stories.. is this like the proverbial whipping out of the cocks, except for pyros?
*time lapse*
Jace> in chemistry class we were using bunsen burners, i took out a penny and decided to melt it
Dan> SWEET ASS
Jace> it was very sweet until i decided to cool it down in a beaker of what i thought was water
Dan> ..oh fuck
Jace> i mean the penny was melted...and i dumped it into a beaker of HCl
Dan> OH FUCK AND A HALF.
Jace> not only did it make a loud enough noise cooling itself down and getting everyones attention, but because of the heat change, and the fact that it was HCl, the beaker broke, spilling HCl, now hot because of the penny, all over. So it started eating away the table and floor and my lab coat.
Dan> Somehow I think your cock is bigger than mine.
Comment: Ooh, fire.
#9905
<latexslut> i bet u are thinking of ur hard rod being teased my this wet slut don't u?
<Godrod> No. I am thinking of filing a restraining order against you to protect my dick from your H.I.V. shit.
#223818
< kupo> i like watching the protester videos
< kupo> but their tactics suck
< kupo> I could finally put all my years of useless turn based strategy games to use
#11506
* Teufel is a moron
<_wEaSeL_> well said
<Teufel> I tore up my room looking for the receipt for my 'broken speakers' to return them; when all I had to do is plug them in
#243632
<Praz> man, listening to this brings back so few memories
<Praz> mainly just the one, same memory of me sitting in front of a computer but just different applications running on the screen
#309171
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist
#50571
<GenericLoser> We recieved our Red Ribbon Week wristbands yesterday.
<GenericLoser> (Red Ribbon Week has long past.)
<GenericLoser> Our instructor said, "You should probably wear these anyway."
<GenericLoser> Making a joke, I replied, "Yeah, just because Red Ribbon Weeks is over, that doesn't mean you can start doing drugs again."
<GenericLoser> And our instructor replies, very serious, "Yeah, my goal is to stay off for a month."