Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#7450
<@Bojangle> splurge: This one time, my friend called the cops for getting a threatning phone call. SO the cops come over to just see what my friend is like, to judge if he was BSing or not
<@Bojangle> So they come over, and start chatting my friend up, they go, "What do you do?" and he's like, "I'm a computer consultant
<@Bojangle> "Oh yeah, what are ya' working on?" and he's like, "Oh, some webserver"
<@Bojangle> So then these two cops start talking about how he should use another server, and how the server he's using sucks, and how he should set up a database for certain things, lmao
<@splurge> HAHAHA
<@Bojangle> And my friend's like, "What are you, cops or computer programmers?" and he's like, "Oh, I just like to play around in my spare time"
<@Bojangle> It was like something outta Seinfeld
<@splurge> id skullfuck them and leave their corpses in the backyard
<@Bojangle> Me too
#8073
<Avatar> how much do dishwashers cost
<krissle> haha
<krissle> you dont buy a dishwasher
<krissle> you marry one
#309671
<zifnab> one of my old wow friends
<zifnab> always yelled "GET YOUR RAID CUP"
<zifnab> so we asked him what a raid cup was
<zifnab> "So I can urinate without getting up"
Comment: irc.gamesurge.net #RedditMC
#2021
<darkaeon> now how much money do you make now?
<darkaeon> I know it can't be much since you're on irc
<darkaeon> eheh
<MadHatter> you fear my fucking lego skills right
<MadHatter> dude dark
<MadHatter> I'm not even on irc
<MadHatter> I programmed some legos to get on irc for me
#8057
<Esk> Quit XP bashing! It's a better OS than you'll ever make! :D
<evilbob> I doubt I could construct a gremlin, but I'm not about to start driving one.
#2446
*** blahblahb (Dingdong@h24-207-55-238.dlt.dccnet.com) has joined #gamedev
<blahblahb> !list
*** blahblahb (Dingdong@h24-207-55-238.dlt.dccnet.com) has left #gamedev
<DAL9000> it was a driveby !list'ing
#40757
<FlatEric> I'm bored
<FlatEric> where's my alcohol?
<nougatmachine> you could help me clean up dishes
<nougatmachine> that would give you something to do
<nougatmachine> I have a feeling that in the choice between booze and dishes, booze will win
* FlatEric looks to see how many dishes are in the sink
<FlatEric> yes
Comment: #macobserver, irc.hashmark.net
#307731
<Amadiro> RumpledElf, according to that definition, my markov-chain based chatbot spouting random phrases combined from previous messages it recollects from its database is probably more sentient than most actual human IRC users.
<Amadiro> aib, it usually ended up pretty much just spouting out sentences it heard previously to other people at a later point. Additionally I ran some simple regexpes over the output.
<Amadiro> That caused some hilarious conversations like the bot arguing with some guy whether it's "slipknot" or "slipgnot" (replaced all k's with g's)
<Amadiro> aib, we also fed it the bible, all 7 harry potter books, various pornographic novels and Karl Marx' "Das Kapital" later on, with brilliant results.
<aib> add a Hitler biography and you've got an Internet discussion generator
Comment: ##programming@irc.freenode.net
#7775
<n> the only thing that gets him away from eq is beer
<Doza> at least he hasn't totally sold out
<n> what we need is a helmet we can strap onto him... with tubes that go down his thoat... and you hook it up to the puter... and it dispenses beer every time he gets a frag
<n> then he'll play q3
#5718
[OutLore ] OMFG
[Lord-Data] OutLore: OYFG!
#26308
Methodical Pain: but tomatoes are fruits
TheOffspring326: no they're not!
TheOffspring326: they merely prefer the company of other tomatoes, thats all!
#2436
<erhan> how are you yourself?
<mcarp> erhan: other than being pussyless, dumb, tired, broke and addicted to nicotine....im FINE
#7312
<aegis> my penis fits in electrical sockets!
#35140
<_Sarah_> sorry, had a little visitor in a red sleeper show up
<Jason> is that code for your period?
<_Sarah_> LOL!
<Jason> ive bought tampons before, i know all about them
<_Sarah_> no.. it was my son, he got out of bed.. heh
#6107
<#seattle/weezel> This End-User License is an agreement between Microsoft Corporation (hereafter referred to as "Microsoft") and you, the end-user (hereafter referred to as "our bitch").
#113480
<emma> I have a job where I interact with humans a lot. It's one of the things about IRC I like. It's a great escape from the fake daily rituals.
<emma> It's like curling up with a cozy book that talks back to you.
<HiLander> a book with terrible spelling and grammar
#7391
<Kaff> the biker from the Village People died.
<Kaff> he died of lung cancer.
<Kaff> which just proves that getting a coq up the date will kill you in mysterious ways.
<Dane> kaff: no. you just misunderstood when the report said that he'd had too many fags.
<Kaff> haha
#305263
<Metafoxi> basically little things like "smoke bong in this town" "give beggar 1 bullet"
<Metafoxi> that last one had me puzzled
<Metafoxi> until i figured out you had to literally give him a bullet, not shoot him with it
#197
*** topic in #ramen is 'When your cablemodems combine, I am, Captain Pirate! :'
#30522
<BusyChild> i hate it when youre just flirting with a girl and you poke her on accident
#49991
<Origin> And I remote desktoped one of my coworkers computers and put lemon party on it
<Tezkah> ah, the wonders of technology
Comment: #torchthebridge, slashnet
#42935
<aeon> you know its going to be a bad day when a lesbian calls you at 2 in the afternoon, thinking she's pregnant
Comment: #adium on Freenode.
#17249
<NickBlasta> i always dream and then wake up and i was like woah was that real
<NickBlasta> like the matrix
<isajeep> which pill did you take?
<NickBlasta> the hard pill
<isajeep> lol knew you'd say that
#32120
<GuyClimber> BRB? Where are you going?
<NawtyNice> I gotta go grab some nuts
<NawtyNice> Err, peanuts.
#2911
* Berzerker gets hungry
* Berzerker eats his e's
*** Berzerker is now known as Brzrkr