Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#68620
<Vulpyne> in my enlish class we were doing this mad lib type things
<Vulpyne> the teacher asked for a proper noun and i said Pamela Anderson
<Vulpyne> part of it ended up being "This horse should be good for racing. It's father was Seabiscuit and it's mother was Pamela Anderson"
#75067
Dizzy: I went to McDonalds and got this.. Ranch BLT chicken thing...
Dizzy: Now I've got a McTummy Ache...
Dizzy: I think that should be #2 on the menu
Dizzy: cuz thats all you're doing for the hour after you eat it
#39964
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> oh god that was funny!
<+kiracatgirl> ?
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> she just jumps in bed all of a sudden and looks at me
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What time is it!?"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "It's 12:30 honey"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> ... "oh crap, the alarm was supposed to go off at 12:20"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What are you talking about? You don't wake up until 6:20"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What time is it?"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "It's 12:30"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "ah, monkeys"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> and she falls back down
<+kiracatgirl> monkeys?!
<+urgan> lol, mokeys
#18317
<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence
#5782
<djm> irc's my anti-drug
#294682
<sniep> my servers are all named after computer parts so that users sound like retards asking for anything
<sniep> "i need full access to ram!"
<sniep> "why is megabytes broken?!?"
<sniep> "who rebooted hard drive??!??"
Comment: SomethingAwful
#57922
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 months
Comment: #maddox
#44284
<rhyswynne> can you overclock a vibrator?
#5694
<Luke> spammers probably love receiving spam. "Grow your penis 150% overnight? Why didn't we think of that one!"
* delYsid has mortage, opportunity and penis in his score file.
<delYsid> thats pretty effective against spam
<Luke> aren't you worried about missing opportunities to mortgage your penis?
#47140
<@Hezzy> i am going to give my girlfriend attention
<+Knifa> "attention"
<+Knifa> ...secks?
<@Hezzy> no
<@Hezzy> and she isn't very impressed by that comment Knifa, she is sitting next to me
<+Knifa> :(
<+Knifa> hi hezzy's girlfriend.
<@garry> sitting next to you stinking like a trout farm
<@Hezzy> :o
<@Hezzy> jahjahaaj
<@Hezzy> she hates you all
<@Hezzy> because of garry's comment just then
<@Hezzy> THANKS GUYS
<@Hezzy> NOW SHE'S NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME TONIGHT
<@Hezzy> TALK ABOUT COCKBLOCK
#110375
[thom] I'm going to order one of those MIND erasing kits...
[xexyz] a bong, thom?
#1967
<JDigital> It's official: Nostradamus was a stoner.
<JDigital> His name wasn't even Nostradamus. It was Michel du Nostredame
<JDigital> Nostradamus was just his IRC nick
#8307
<Saber> ow damnit
<Saber> HA
<Saber> That'll teach you
<Saber> damn gummy bears
<c_thur> Saber: i can relate...i think
#3101
<Soopa> everyone hurry up and get banned so we can troll some other channel
#11261
* Tomko slaps saber with Oprah's clitoris, which resembles some kind of gnarled and pulsating sweet potato
<ducks> WTF
#15750
<beaker> > MR IP MASTER : OURS FIREWALLS WERE DETECTING A LOT OF TRYINGS TO
VIOLATE
<beaker> > THE SECURITY OF OURS SYSTEMS FROM THE NEXT IP UNDER YOUR DOMAIN
<beaker> > ADMINISTRATOR
<beaker> >
<beaker> > WE WAIT FOR AN INMEDIATLY SOLUTION
#14382
<Kharn> D'ya think colouring my eye ball with a permanent marker will hurt?
#39892
<@jk0> the teacher is kind of hot
<@psych0sys> i had a hot teacher once
<@psych0sys> took em 45min to put out the flames
#5303
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"
#38614
<Punani> Of course IRC seems to be a veritable pond for some of the dumbest quotes on earth.
#32810
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP> . <- the point -> your direction of travel
#1619
<Seros> fuck
<Seros> we were at 7-11
<Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?"
<Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the meaning of this.. wtf?"
<Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization. >:O
#52876
<MandaBella> Ben...I see your point
<Tigerlily> Ben, put your point away. Manda can see it.
#298061
* em-pregnated is now known as emily`
< postscript> woha
< postscript> aborted?
#113649
<dewdude> last time i made chili it was on a sunday
<dewdude> and i was in the store, 9 in the morning
<dewdude> buying a six pack
<dewdude> and chili mixins
<dewdude> and people were like "have you no shame?"
<dewdude> and i'm like "it's for the chili"
<dewdude> once i told the stuck-up old lady in her church clothes the beer was for chili she shut-up
<dewdude> then her husband was like '
<dewdude> "what kind of peppers you usin?"
<dewdude> ... bastard took my chili recipie