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#8982
<Fern> dag. some guy in NY hit 19 people with a buick regal. I wonder if there's some sort of bonus round for that.
#61236
<jre> semitic grrlz = hot
<jre> totally experts at head
<PigsCantFly> not to mention sound financial advice
#29318
<Odat> I remember that time I told the hair chick to cut about an inch off the back
<Odat> but what she heard was "cut all my hair as short as you possibly can"
<Odat> bad acoustics, I guess
<NakedKitty> wow.... yeah... that seems to happen a lot
<NakedKitty> or... her inch was a lot bigger than yours
<Odat> impossible
<Odat> men have the largest notion of an inch
#50877
<lotusleaf> I wish someone would make a pair of sunglasses which when worn would transform all of the sights into live ascii
#138939
<Zaphod> All games are crap with a gamepad.
<Zaphod> I'd like to have a go on a steering wheel setup, just once.
<PetrDoubt> Get one!
<Nugget> it makes a world of difference
<PetrDoubt> It's really, really nice.
<Zaphod> nah, not worth buying one.
<Zaphod> But when they start making real cars with cursor keys instead of steering wheels, I'll be ready!
#31888
<|darc|> im sexy.
<butters|cleaning> if your mom says it, it must be true
#2963
<MrSede> They made a movie of Phantom Of The Opera. I was like "woah, they made a movie of Phantom Of The Opera." Then I didn't watch it
<Geothermal> you too eh
#56811
<forkup> yo
<forkup> i'm off to jail for a day or so, bbl
#42930
<_stan> old macdonald had a farm
<_stan> e-i-e-i-o
<_stan> and on that farm he had a 40-50% statistical likelihood of committing an unnatural sex act with an animal according to the research of alfred kinsey
<_stan> e-i-e-i-o
Comment: #ampedOut nursery rhyme
#7541
< FuzzyKaos > oh oh guess what i got today!!??
< Zooz > Fuzzy - Herpes? :)
#16568
<clubransom> I want my isp to block this 900 number stuff.
#28994
<Aokromes> what HOTTT
<Aokromes> 102 °F / 39 °C
<[Piratez]> no idea what temp it is outside here
<[Piratez]> but it aint hot
<[Piratez]> no chicks are out
#31933
<sdfdtailgrep> Things I learned today:
<sdfdtailgrep> * About 10% of all people on the road are good samaritans
<sdfdtailgrep> * It's actually quite fun to be stuck in a ditch, when you have a mp3 CD player and some music.
<sdfdtailgrep> * Snowplows in Guelph cover both directions of a rural road every 30 minutes
<sdfdtailgrep> * Les Quebecios have a swiss-army knife of knowledge, tools, and experience when it comes to rescuing stranded cars
<sdfdtailgrep> * All the winter tires in the world are not going to stop you from being a complete dumbass
<sdfdtailgrep> * Flat land does not mean solid land, there might be a ditch under that snow
Comment: #railfan irc.oftc.net
#8849
<Balli> the kid in the middle of the pic is getting his ass fingered
<Balli> look at his face
<jaunty> balli.. thats me, cockmonger
#1492
*** collusion is now known as CmdrTaco
<_vulture> OMG
<_vulture> CmdrTaco I kick your ass
<CmdrTaco> i shutdown slashdot
<CmdrTaco> i realized its a piece of shit
<_vulture> mandrake hates slashdot too
<CmdrTaco> im gonna go cry cuz i hate M$$$$
<CmdrTaco> somebody cheer me up and send me a kernel to compile
#193445
<@pomo|wii> So, funny story. I don't know if it's true or not, but according to my public speaking professor, it is.
<@pomo|wii> So, a few people decide to throw a party and decide to inflate a few blow-up dolls with helium to have floating around the house.
<@pomo|wii> Now, everything's going well, until apparently some of these dolls escape into the night sky via an open door/window/something
<@pomo|wii> According to what he told us, a woman a few blocks down saw these dolls and thought that the rapture was occuring, and people were floating away into heaven
<@pomo|wii> so this woman RUNS INTO THE STREET, screaming to be taken with them, only to be hit and killed by a car
#171
[+Vile] (smcn): just because you dress like them doesnt mean you are
[!smcn] m/sg Vile would you like to touch my breasts
[!smcn] oops
#125172
<davy> remember when braveheart came out and everyone said you can't have mel gibson playing a scottish guy cuz it wont be realistic?
<davy> well look at him now
<davy> an alcoholic racist
#17298
<xenothrope> WHO IS THE MOST TALENTED PRON STAR?!?!
<hoho> ron jeremy
<[H]Lasuuco> me
<[H]Lasuuco> i can wack off on command
<xenothrope> peter north owns jeremy
<hoho> nah
<isajeep> ummm
<[H]Lasuuco> lol
<isajeep> im not prepared to argue the better parts of male porn stars
<NickBlasta> dont lie jeep
<hoho> jeep, im going by the fact that the guy is fat, ugly, and old but still gets laid every day.
<isajeep> I said im not prepared...I don't have my slides ready
<xenothrope> lmao jeep
<isajeep> hoho thats because he(like me) has mastered his body
<NickBlasta> ROFL
<isajeep> wait
<hoho> so you're fat and ugly like him?
<isajeep> that might sund wrong
<isajeep> *sound
#52452
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, you're information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott has quit (Quit: )
<Ricky> :O
<Ricky> God damn, that was a good one.
<moo> lol
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, your information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has left #g-masters
<moo> o_O
<Ricky> Hahahah
<moo> do you know him?
<Ricky> Nope.
Comment: Paranoia is fun!
#37558
<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
Comment: ZiRC
#294803
<zedebsky> by the time we got to the city i had to piss so bad and the windshield was so covered in salt i could barely see where i was going
<zedebsky> and the squirter thing was all frozen up
<zedebsky> so i filled up a bottle with piss and dumped it on the windshield
<zedebsky> two problems solved zero dolla
#33227
* Drummer_B has joined #emu
<Drummer_B> may i ask if this is a roms channel?
<nylint> drummer_b: all you have to do is !list
<Drummer_B> ahhhhhhhhhh ok thanks :)
<Drummer_B> !list
* Drummer_B was kicked by nylint (auto-kick: no triggers or roms, bitch!)
* Drummer_B has joined #emu
<nylint> and you'll get kicked
<nylint> i didn't tell you what it would DO
Comment: #emu efnet kthxbye
#4224
<quisling> bwahaha, I was looking through some personals and this chick's username is "responsible" but she's 20 with a child...
#4698
<CrazyClimber> top dangling modifier of the day:
<CrazyClimber> "A jet going 100 m.p.h. slammed into a deer, which ruptured a wing fuel tank and dumped 70 gallons of gas on the runway. "
<CrazyClimber> i knew about cows and methane, but...
<me_tew> Dammit, when are they going to REQUIRE that fuel tanks on deer be moved away from the wings.