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#32629
<bleak> oh god
<bleak> my girlfriend has either the worst or ebst timing ever
<somniloquy> just caught you whacking off?
<somniloquy> and offered to lend a hand?
<bleak> somniloquy: well, no, I was, and she called me JUST as I finished.
#40726
-!- dogmeat [dogmeat@pcp01841549pcs.owngsm01.md.comcast.net] has joined #wtf
< dogmeat> fags!
-!- dogmeat [dogmeat@pcp01841549pcs.owngsm01.md.comcast.net] has left #wtf []
-!- dogmeat [dogmeat@pcp01841549pcs.owngsm01.md.comcast.net] has joined #wtf
< dogmeat> except darkwise!
-!- dogmeat [dogmeat@pcp01841549pcs.owngsm01.md.comcast.net] has left #wtf []
#295012
<hitmonchee> someone was talking about mice the other day and they mentioned that they hibernate
<hitmonchee> and I thought "how the fuck can an animal hibernate"
<hitmonchee> then I realised that they didn't mean saving the RAM to disk and shutting down
#705
<vsync> my hand is banging against the keyboard, seizure-like
<tokage> vsync: is your masturbation coordination nerve acting up again?:)
#39042
<Denisu> Hello. Dutch helpers enable ?
<nkuttler> !dutch
<dpkg> i heard dutch is soome straangje laanguaage daat sussudio kjeeps spjeeaaking, or #debian.nl
#32187
<+Hampy> I think we should have a mature conversation rather than everyone saying random shit
<+Doody> Hampy: Penis.
#13545
<graeme123> i dont understand
<graeme123> be more pacific
#294656
<drac> I was in a public restroom today and the box that contains the toilet paper rolls has a side that can't be seen until you're sitting down
<drac> so I wrote "I pissed all over the toilet seat" on there
#14718
<ChlOrPh> it's rillY frustrating to wanna fuck someone who doesn't exist
#21912
<merkzu> i fucking hate my dishwasher
<pagan> its super easy to rinse off dishes if you do it right when your done :)
<pagan> letting it sit for days is the killer
<jstepka-w> pagan ++:
<merkzu> i just dont like anything that interferes with my lazyness
#56620
<@Br0> Who DOESNT want a laptop that doubles as an easybake oven?
<@Br0> I mean come on
<@Br0> cupcakes while playing doom 3?
<@Br0> I know I want them
<%conscio> bake at UT2003 for 45 minutes
#9532
<Sir Mordred> I was a real bad mo'fo in high school
<lancelot> do you play chess Mordred?
<Sir Mordred> Yeah I used to play a few times a week
#20447
<lav> my brothers are drag-racing the tractor
#41048
Eurous Ventulus: You're more full of yourself than a masochistic cannibal.
#9080
<Umbillical_ED>seems like there's a lot of out of work java developers
<st0w> yeah
<st0w> that's 'cause everybody is finally realizing....
<st0w> JAVA SUCKS
<Umbillical_ED>y u say dat?
<st0w> because one day... I went to a farm, right?
<st0w> and there was this horse
<st0w> and he had this MASSIVE cock
<st0w> and I looked underneath it
<st0w> and I saw the little Java mascot with it's lips parted and the majority of the horse's unit inside it's mouth
#659
<imminent> clean keyboard
<imminent> yesss
<edible> you desemenized it?
<edible> let some cum hungry slut lick the shit out of your keyboard?
#55833
Vamp i s h ly: I just prefer dating men because girls are so complicated
Kick the Can 97: i concur
Kick the Can 97: except for the dating men part
#37972
<Joe>(Geography) What is the basic unit of currency for United Arab Emirates ?
<Jim> pound
<Dalener> euro
<Jim> dinar
<Dalener> dollar
<Dalener> rupee
<Jim> peso
<Dalener> dinero
<Ellie> marc
<Dalener> franc
<Jim> rand
<Dalener> dollor
<Dalener> goat
<Dalener> small boy
<Mrs_Grima_Wormtongue> lol
#39765
<bball> it's for single computer geeks who live in their mom's basement eating hotpockets and Mountain Dew while whacking off to video games
* Lost buys it
#45434
(Ryan0rZ) double wammy, Knox
(Ryan0rZ) your grandma died and you lost your internet
(Ryan0rZ) I'd hate to have that happen to me
(Knox) lol :(
(Ryan0rZ) I can't go very long without the internet
(Ryan0rZ) :'(
Comment: #tag irc.zirc.org
#7627
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
* ToRMeNTeD comes on brazil
<Ratty`> ergh
<Ratty`> it's all sticky
<ToRMeNTeD> you told me to
#39051
<xtremeskier> you dont know the alphabet?
<ASM57> i do, i just forgot
<xtremeskier> what grade you in?
<ASM57> 11
<ASM57> i just forgot for a sex
<ASM57> sex
<ASM57> sec
<Telexen> ...yeah he's in 11th grade all right
Comment: #hothardware irc.burghcom.com
#56318
KhaosIsOrder: you suck
xyzzy: for a nominal fee
#295558
<@Xilas> so....I use plagiarism all the time in my papers. I just reword it.
<@Xilas> Even Einstein said "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
<@Rican> Yeah, well from what I've seen so far.. you're pretty horrible a it.
#14462
<@Breathe> I hurt my back last week, and it is still hurting. >:(
<SirPrux> Maybe you sprained a muscle
<SirPrux> I sprained a cucumber once
<@Breathe> ...
<SirPrux> man did it hurt
<@Breathe> you sprained a cucumber?
<huzyrdadi> I think he means he sprained his asshole /using/ a cucumber