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#430
<Jarvik7> wonder if they'll have a 'real life' type show, but with people in a rom channel
#49385
<SkoroMac> hrmm
<SkoroMac> Victoria's Secret is offering me a "Free Supermodel Lip Kit"
<SkoroMac> sounds like some sort of artificial blow job device
#303166
<indigo> some of my fish are not very smart.
<indigo> i have some that are small catfish (1-2") with a sucker mouth
<indigo> i startled some, and they jumped above the waterline and clung to the glass in the air.
#310629
<TonyTheLemur> they tested our tornado siren a couple mornings ago
<Glaug-Eldare> did she attract any tornadoes
Comment: #foxie
#6755
<ODD> optimism is having a ups on a win95 box
#18162
Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> : taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!!
PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that on my front website
#309810
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
VioletFox: lol
#9231
<louis> just by me being near him he nearly burst his vasectomy stitches
#26385
([m1]) so there i was, at the porcelain boardroom, initiating another
"round of layoffs"
([m1]) and the laptop battery warning popped up
([m1]) never wiped and washed so fast
([m1]) the things i do to keep from losing a network connection
#53563
<RocketGib> I heard a rumor one time about this dairy down the road
<RocketGib> a guy thought it would be fun to hook himself up to the vaccum tubes
<RocketGib> so he did, and said it was the best blow job ever
<RocketGib> unfortunately, his nuts got sucked out.
Comment: #rct3
#56933
<AaA> last year when i was working as a day laborer after i got laid off from my other job, i was hired by a contractor to expand a deck for this couple
<AaA> it was going to be expanded out to the son's old room on the second floor, and so they also wanted the walls of the room ripped out
<AaA> so i grabbed a sledgehammer and began pounding out the walls around the closet, and i lost my grip and it fell out of my hand
<AaA> the hammer hits the floor, and about a quarter of the flooring in the closet gives way and i fall through and crash down onto the dining room table, which had dishes and stuff on it, i got cut up pretty good
<AaA> the owners ran inside to find me on the crushed table.
<AaA> it was then they mentioned that their son had a habit of pissing in the closet during the night.
<AaA> :/
#39579
<projectmayhem> last new year someone asked for my resolution and i said 1024x768
#306442
#xkcd, approx. five minutes after a discussion involving quantum mechanics:
(DerpNauce) I love how #xkcd-masturbation is completely empty
(Random832) wait
(Random832) how did you manage to observe a channel in a completely empty state
(ellipsis) aaaand we're back to quantum mechanics, awesome
#300953
<@Rjx> how the fuck Newton figured this shit out without the internet is beyond me
<@Rjx> in my first year I had a lecturer who would make us all say "we're not worthy" when he put a picture of newton up on the screen
<@Rjx> he'd actually stop the class until people played along
<@Rjx> quite a few of the class members were international students from saudi arabia, they'd never seen wayne's world
<@Rjx> so he actually set them a homework assignment to watch it
#3995
<Donitz> Sleep! From Blamco! Its kinda like dying - but without the commitment!
#32703
<Rjx> <Rjx> hi new graphics card, I'll just put you in
<Rjx> <gfxcard> HAHA BITCH NOW I CAN CORRUPT YOUR REGISTRY AND MAKE YOUR COMPUTER REFUSE TO BOOT
Comment: #geekissues
#1985
(|{KomienD) Who has a crack for Spider-Man?
(paper_bag) who has english lessons in an hour?
(vital|wrk) who has to work right now
(paper_bag) who let the dogs out
(nexxai) Who is getting pussy tonight?
(paper_bag) im getting hand
(nexxai) [paper_bag]: jerking yourself off doesn't count
(paper_bag) blast :(
(paper_bag) guess i can give back grandma her lotion, i wont be getting any l33t points tonight
#78101
<spacecat> i dont rly like virgin airlines
<spacecat> i mean whats the point in going on a plane that doesnt go all the fucking way
#307308
Thurmond: I only know one Russian word
Thurmond: and it's the word for hedgehog
JBIC: I KNOW THREE WORDS
JBIC: Nyet
JBIC: Da
JBIC: Vodka
#18895
<Swank> I really only use lisp these days for scriptin tools for emacs
<Fedaykin> you used the e word
<Swank> if my editor can't make me breakfast it isn't useful enough
<Fedaykin> ehehe
<Fedaykin> if my editor can make me breakfast, it's ass needs to be in the kitchen
#9975
<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.
#3878
<nARcOtIC]> any of u know someone witha f ast internet connection?
<[ric]> me, suppa fast... so fast I can't even see the packets go by when I open the modem up
<nARcOtIC]> how fast is it?
<[ric]> so fast I can't even explain it
<nARcOtIC]> right
<[ric]> so fast that by the time I try and upload something it was uploaded 10 minutes earlier
<[ric]> stunningly fast, it is..
#25623
(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off
#30082
<@Psycho> Bush has the guts to attack tho
<@Stapler[BTEG]> Because Bush is going to be on the frontlines, right?
<@Psycho> well he would if we let him
<@Fuel[BTEG]> Bush on the frontline, hah
<@Fuel[BTEG]> The only lines bush knows about involve a razor blade and a rolled up $20.
Comment: #bteg, Gamesnet
#5440
<Spooky> So I'm arguing with this guy about Starwars
<Spooky> which I hate
<Spooky> And he's like: " I hated episode 1 cause jar jar was stupid"
<Spooky> and I said that Jar jar was about as stupid as ewoks
<Spooky> and he got all idignant and said ewoks were cool
<Spooky> WTF IS WRONG WITH STAR WARS FANS