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#52156
NoVwith A Bullet: lol, get this
NoVwith A Bullet: I'm chillin' here in cooper hall after hours
NoVwith A Bullet: building's all locked up
mattye15: yah
mattye15: lol
NoVwith A Bullet: security guards walk by and are like "yo, just to let you know, it's locked up, so if you leave, you can't get back in, and don't let anyone in"
NoVwith A Bullet: about half an hour later, I hear this knocking at the door next to me
NoVwith A Bullet: I ignore it
NoVwith A Bullet: it gets louder
NoVwith A Bullet: still ignore
NoVwith A Bullet: the person is freakin' POUNDING on the door when I decide to get up and look
NoVwith A Bullet: it's the security guards
NoVwith A Bullet: they locked themselves out
mattye15: LOL
mattye15: thats funny
NoVwith A Bullet: oh BOY do I feel safe on this campus!
mattye15: wow
NoVwith A Bullet: Best part? They left again without getting their keys
#299002
Riomerc: The only problem with it is that it's an eco-smart community
Riomerc: And anything with the words "Ecological", "Green" or "Environmentalist" and any combination and permutation therein, plus the word "Smart" "Intelligent" or "Friendly" and any comination or permutation therein makes me want to extract my eyes from their orbits with a rusted spork, rape them, and then stick my dick in an oven and slam the door on it until it either burns to a crisp, gets so much damage that it falls off or I black out from pain.
PaperStrike: D:
Riomerc: And, of course, it would be a low-star-rated oven, so I could put a dent in their bullshit whilst I'm mutiliating myself.
#38958
<@TsN|Jake> would anyone be so kind as to call my phone and help me figure out where the hell it is?
<@Jedi|w> haha
<@TsN|Jake> I'm not kidding
#16529
<t_h_e_o-> why do u use a period at the end of every sentence?
<dager> ROFL
<dager> BECAUSE
<dager> ITS A FUCKING SENTENCE
#461
<Theseus> get the free like 10 CDs they give you
<Theseus> then write a letter to them signed under your parents name saying you burned all those satan music CDs, and to never send mail to that address again
#4226
<Hendrix> Romance is flowers, Perversion is sticking the flowers up her ass
#8466
<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute, look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away}
#54270
<@ALGORYTHM> myspace is like goatse but for web designers
#17123
Vrex989: know wonder you failed english
#27459
<spazzer> last chick I screwed she hurt for a day afterwards
<spazzer> i got the nickname "the hammer" at work now from that
<spicrx7> hahaha
<spicrx7> spazzer works at a day care center
<spazzer> eww
<spazzer> you pedophile
<spicrx7> i'm not the one bangin 10yo's so hard they hurt for a day afterward
<spazzer> 35 year olds you mean
<spicrx7> yeah in dog years maybe
#3975
<ScumDog> my first BBS name ever, when I was something like 11 years old, was pothead.
<ScumDog> except that I was named after a local band, and had no idea what an actual "pothead" was
<ScumDog> so people were always like "Rahhh! 420 4-ever!!!" and I had no clue what they were talking about
#222135
InfernalTempestX: she's like
InfernalTempestX: you'll never change
InfernalTempestX: i'm like
InfernalTempestX: you'll never lose weight
#7976
<ErikN|WORK> do you have sdl installed?
<savepotatoes> think so
<ErikN|WORK> hmmm
<savepotatoes> probably
<ErikN|WORK> are you sure?
<savepotatoes> yea
(time passes...)
<savepotatoes> whats sdl?
#20787
<who2> why does everyone hate me because i'm jewish :(
<sinistron> i know how ya feel my grandfather died in a concentration camp
<who2> really?
<sinistron> yeah he fell off the guard tower
#141
<ILLogik> i was having cybersex with this chick but she wouldn't go all the way so i had to rape her
#310394
<&Orillion> All my lines are under the GNU public license
<&Orillion> Feel free to interpret and rewrite them as you like
<&Orillion> I know my girlfriend does
#2065
<matts> hal check your privates
<matts> err
<matts> messages
#13458
<psychicbug> I'm gonna find some third world country, and punch a store owner in the face
<psychicbug> he's gonna start swearing at me in some fucked up language
<psychicbug> and if I like any of the words I hear, I'll make it my new nick since this one sucks
#300865
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other
#304516
<Sebas> When I was working as an orderpicker, I had to get some assorted terrycloth towels. "Terrycloth" in Dutch is "badstof", and both that and "assorted" get abbreviated, so on my list it said I needed 5 "bad ass towels".
#43840
<eldritch> today I stole wheat bran!
<eldritch> I marked my bag of whole wheat pasta with the number for regular pasta (whole wheat costs 2x as much :P)
<eldritch> and since the number is a diff between a 6 and a 9 if I get caught I can just say "oops how dyslexic of me"
<Fennec> haha
<eldritch> I checked my receipt after and sure enough the woman at the counter didnt notice and only charged me for spaghetti and not whole wheat spaghetti
<eldritch> next time I am going to see if I can sneak cashews out disguised as peanuts!
Comment: #angband, WorldIRC
#300947
<meanolthing> hmm
<meanolthing> is pornography in or out?
<aizakku> in
<aizakku> then out
<aizakku> then in
<aizakku> then out again
#21182
Cyber J: the reason why Canada doesn't have much of a military is because they havn't made over 20 countries hate their guts like their neighbors down south... I know, I live in America :(
#36277
<O-3> is IRC internet-based?
#56001
< wernicus> everyone on irc is male until proven otherwise