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#30513
<frostyburn> damn it, there needs to be an auto-formatting script in word that will automatically change all margins to 1.10 inches, spacing to 2.10, font size to 12.5, and intermittently paste quotes from no name fuck faces... because i'm getting tired of turning a 3 page paper into a 4 page paper all by myself
#117933
<+MMDE> i was supposed to scare my lil bro who was lying in the bed in the dark
<+MMDE> but it was my mom... and i placed my hands on both her tits
<+MMDE> she didnt have on anything
<+MMDE> they're hot
<+Yumichika> u make me feel normal MMDE
Comment: irc.p2p-network.net/#demonoid
#1785
<Weazel> stupid cops
<Weazel> always giving me shit
<Weazel> SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX
#303335
<noms> I WANT TACOS.
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#149774
<Akaishi> WTF, this box has TONNES of cherrios in it!
<Akaishi> wait, its a box of Cherrios
<Sam_Hoy)...
#5417
<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm hoping it's a coffee table."
#61433
<mvz> my morning erection is my power on self test
Comment: #olsentwins
#7956
<dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
<dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
<dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
<heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to dance.
<heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
<heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.
#308758
<p4plus2> VI VI VI THE EDITOR OF THE BEAST
#3589
e l i t e m r p: you think you're so smart cause you go to "school"
#60470
<Ina> got a problem with that file stuff
<Alex> what?
<Ina> yeah, always tells me that the files are too large
<Alex> well, send them separately or compress them
<Ina> but I've already pushed them closer to each other
<Alex> pushed them closer??
<Ina> yeah, on the screen, you know
<Alex> ???
<Ina> those symbols, you know, I've put them closer to each other, now they take up less room
<Alex> you've... pushed together... the images... the symbols...?
<Ina> YEAH! Now they need less space, don't they?
<Alex> ...*bangs head on table*
#632
<AlmtyBob> i HATE MY MOM
<AlmtyBob> fucking I'm just sitting here playing oni
<AlmtyBob> and she walks in
<AlmtyBob> SHE LIVES ACCROSS THE COUNTRY
<AlmtyBob> she is NOT ALLOWED to just walk in
<AlmtyBob> didn't bother calling saying she'd be home
<AlmtyBob> didn't call me from the airport
<AlmtyBob> just bam, walks in
<AlmtyBob> what if I'd been jerking to hardcore teenage lesbo porn?
<hypr> AlmtyBob: dont forget to take da debbe does dallas p0rno out of the vcr
<AlmtyBob> actually it's interview with the vibrator
<hypr> haha
<Lk2k1> Bob has naked pictures of lux in his room.
<AlmtyBob> but I stored that away a while ago
<AlmtyBob> all my porn is digital
<AlmtyBob> oh thanks for reminding me
<AlmtyBob> gotta take the flash card out of my digicam
<AlmtyBob> lest she get curious
<hypr> wtf u made a homemade p0rn?
<AlmtyBob> just pics of people I know
<AlmtyBob> nonnude
<AlmtyBob> time to take out the trash and /clear
#25228
<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF
#6775
<RadiX> I had a thought
<Isando> Wow it must have come as a surprise to you.
<RadiX> at first I thought it was a headache.. I wasn't sure what it was.
#34674
<dmose> remember, it's all fun and games until someone shrieks "WRONG HOLE!"
#25257
<NyseriA> at uni we asked this lad why the carpet was a different colour under this computer desk, he said that he had spilled an eggcup of bleach :D What made it worse though was that there was a lass sat on his beanbag on teh floor and she said, did you spill it upwards onto the keyboard shelf bottom as well :P
#51410
* BuRn sets mode: +v g
* DamDevil sets mode: +v g
<+g> oh oh oh..can i trade my two +v's for a larger prize? :o
#1948
<JDigital> Straight up, yo!
<Kayma> ...
<JDigital> What? Can't a guy talk about anal sex on IRC any more?
#17642
<Squee-G> You're old school? I beta tested the mother fucking abacus!
#374
<redslime> "let's take the nutritional balance of oriental food, put it in
batter and deep fry it"
<redslime> "yeah!"
<redslime> i love eggrolls
#6204
<felix:#916> there is a DEAD FUCKING RAT in our server room
<felix:#916> it's like, ROTTING
<felix:#916> STUCK UNDER A CABINET AND NOBODY CAN GET TO IT
<felix:#916> 8 or 9" long, overall
<asphyxia:#916> damn packet kiddies
#311629
< jayis> yesterday my architect said our base64 encoded username "token" is encrypted and i said it isn't and then he said it is and i said it isnt and then he walked away
#33421
<Kosta> oh this will be fun
<Kosta> here's some records that I know for a fact are in my car
<Kosta> The Clash -- London Calling
<Kosta> Brahms 3rd and 4th (Berlin, von karajan...)
<Kosta> 2 eminem records
<Kosta> Yes -- The Yes Album
<Kosta> Toy Dolls -- Greatest hits or anthology or whatever it's called
<Kosta> Rush -- Chronicles
<Kosta> Bob Marley -- Legend
<Kosta> A -- um... whatever their record is called
<Kosta> Massive Attack -- the gray one
<Kosta> um
<Kosta> Oingo Boingo -- boingo alive
<Kosta> oh that's not the title
<Kosta> I can't remember the title, but the Cd cover is gray
<Kosta> or grey
<Kosta> the score to Glory
<Kosta> Doobie Brothers
<Kosta> greatest hits
<Kosta> James Taylor, greatest hits
<Kosta> Carol King -- Tapestry
<Kurt> sell your car
Comment: Kosta writes film music for a living
#19398
<Fas|n8> i wank while looking at the mirror.....while.....the bitch come out and stab me?
<Fas|n8> oi wank in front of the mirror....and say bloody mary 3 times....she will come out and give u a blow job
<sybex> I just took a bat to make myself feel safer :)
#97327
DWang: a friend of mine
DWang: used 3 minutes on his phone last month
DWang: but he got refunded 4!
DWang: the phone company apparently uses 4-byte unsigned ints
DWang: because it UNDERFLOWED
DWang: he apparently used 2^32 minutes at 10 cents a minute
DWang: so he got a bill
DWang: for $430 MILLION