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#4693
*** Quits: Zathras (Evelyn the dog, having undergone further modification pondered the significance of short-person behaviour in pedal depressed, pan-chromatic resonance, and other highly ambient domains. "Arf," she said.)
#7086
<JanetBabe> love is the answer
<Weather> What was the question?
<DulRiff> what is 6 times 9?
<JanetBabe> how many angels can fuck on the head of a pin?
#301368
< samble> gah
< samble> documenting code is hard
< samble> i keep ending sentences with semicolons
< jbroome> #i don't really have that problem
#4140
<uneasier> [ric], a student has to make money.. the pay was good and it wasnt nearly as degrading as you would think
<[ric]> uneasier: I realise, but think how the chickens felt?
<uneasier> they were heavily drugged
<[ric]> I am sure there is some bad joke in this about chickens eating seed, but let's just leave it at that
#30929
<MeatLamp> they lie when they say that crack gets u addicted once - it took me 5 or 6 times to get addicted to the stuff
<garry> same with sniffing underwear
#136814
<thefiddler> Holy sonofabitch.
<thefiddler> I think my editor is flirting with me.
* thefiddler frowns
<Uhmerwell> ...Notepad?
<thefiddler> Errr.
<Uhmerwell> oh, you mean a human
<Uhmerwell> don't you :<
#308117
Baljem: BBC News Headline "'GPS brain cells' seen in pigeons"
Baljem: look, dipshits, it may come as a surprise
Baljem: but there are perfectly good methods of navigation that existed for quite some time before GPS
Baljem: so could we /please/ stop referring to anything to do with being able to fucking navigate as 'satnav' and 'GPS'? before I have to come and smack you around a bit? kthx
RS_Asleep: Baljem: Now they could use an iPhone and have always up-to-date information and the pigeon could use them 53 brain cells for something else! ;)
Baljem: impossible
Baljem: nothing with 53 or more brain cells would buy an iPhone in the first place ;)
#68418
<clice> yo
<rp> Sitting in some gay training.
<rp> Err..
<rp> The training itself is gay, not that it's teaching you how to be gay.
<clice> nice one
#304577
<+mrman> "the wolverine, the largest and least popular member of the weasel family"
<+mrman> who knew someone was keeping track of the relative popularity of various weasels?
#5590
*** Joins: lick_me_man (sss@202.146.243.202)
<@splicer|work> lick_me_man: <-- one of the lesser known superheroes
#21080
<CommanderStab> You know how I'd love to go out?
<CommanderStab> Once I'
<sei> midsentence?
<ipkiss> hahahhaha
<CommanderStab> Hahaha, sei - shut up ^^;
#298989
<AlexExtreme> is there any way to make other members of your team not take the powerups on UT single player? ><
<froggey> yes, enable friendly fire and shoot them
#309784
<Noseless> AirmanPika: you happen to know anyone working for NSA?
<AirmanPika> personally? no
<Noseless> ok
<sluissa> noseless: my dad knows a retired NSA employee... oddly enough he's one of those people who won't stop talking.
<ender|> has to make up for the time spent silent during work? :)
<sluissa> that's what I figure
<sluissa> 40 years spent unable to talk about anything, he's going to make up for it in the last 10
<Noseless> why I'm asking: I have an AES (iirc) encrypted bitcoin-wallet... I was hoping they could open it using their backdoor :D
#311623
< brennyn> i once had to train a guy at work who i could not convince that 1 percent and 1 gallon are not "basically the same thing"
< brennyn> his explanaton was that milk comes in 2%
< brennyn> he wasn't trolling, he was actually stupid
< brennyn> he got fired less than a week later for pouring paint thinner into his eyes
<@snek-sensei> w-what
< brennyn> he was cleaning something that required lying down and crawling under the machine
< brennyn> he got to the part he needed to clean, held a cup of paint thinner above it, and poured directly into his face
< brennyn> because he forgot about gravity
<@snek-sensei> oh okay that makes sense
#298575
<mathrick> so there's this song, right, that goes "all I want to do is make love to you"
<mathrick> this is a classic case of an inexperienced / bad coder using unnecessarily verbose and inefficient expressions in a misguided attempt to make things more readable
<mathrick> compare the idiomatic version: "all I want to do is you". Shorter, more readable AND more to the point
<mathrick> remember, kids, not using idiomatic expressions and commenting on obvious parts of the code will get you to the special code hell
#67551
Bulrog Cartman: Well, my sister got in an argument with her boyfriend in Monday, and when he walked out the door she punched the window in anger
LitlMsScareAll13: o_O
Bulrog Cartman: Lost some blood, got light-headed, I had to call 911
LitlMsScareAll13: Wonderful.
Bulrog Cartman: Her right hand is all bandaged up now, she won't be using it for 10 days
Bulrog Cartman: She gets to pay for the window too, although she can easily afford that
Bulrog Cartman: and she works with her mouth, so the hand won't be a huge problem
Bulrog Cartman: wait, that came out wrong
LitlMsScareAll13: ..........
Bulrog Cartman: She's a telemarketer
#15603
*** treker has joined #ircop
<treker> what is this channel for?
<_zenon> sex channel treker
<treker> AH, I see...
<treker> well then by all means, go ahead, have fun...i'll just go run some errands.
#37901
<Lukeh> MASTURBATION AND POWER RANGERS ARE THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN LIFE!
<Yed> so Lukeh
<Yed> if i masturbate to power rangers
<Yed> does that mean i succeed twice
<Lukeh> You are a god
<Yed> AWESOME.
#6724
<Goldenstimme1> 46 M lonely, self-employed, employed myself earlier this evening
#27909
<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
#288157
sietoba: sorry i did that thing wheres you say one thing but youre thinking of a mother
#3168
<myst> yeah i suck at snowboarding too
<myst> skiing easier
<Joshua> yeah, i broke my arm and then my dad walked up to my twisted wreck of a body and told me i was faking it.
<Joshua> he wouldn't even take me to the doctor's until my mom came home and yelled at him.
<myst> lol! ah parents
#14015
<TimMm> (\_/)
<TimMm> (='.')
<TimMm> (")-(")
<rhythm> shoot it
<rhythm> shoot it now
#299780
< fawkesmulder> the only thing impenetrable to hackers are vaginas
#51619
eefstr_12: theres no fresh water where I am, we have them delivered
sze_mai: here's what you do
sze_mai: feed a couple of monkeys salt and follow them
sze_mai: you'll find a water source for sure
eefstr_12: one question, where do I get monkeys
sze_mai: dunno, I'm an expert in water, not monkeys.