Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#301268
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited.
#28927
<[Knob]> So anyway, I was in this pub yesterday night, and there was music playing. So my friend suddenly says to me "This is good music to jerk off to" I'm like "What the fuck?" and he goes "Yeah, doesn't everyone have a song that they jerk off to?" - And while he said that, the music was turned off and he screamed it throughout the entire pub. Everyone was looking mighty strange at me...
#42867
<corky> oh fuck
<corky> I was copying some stuff for my boss the other day
<corky> and I just found the disc I copied in the drive
<corky> I'm trying to remember exactly what the disc was I gave him
<corky> I have a horrible feeling it was teh pr0n _(
<corky> fuck
<corky> fuck, I need to phone him, hes not the sort of person to find it amusing
#306523
Chelsea: My mom just found out that furries exist
Chelsea: Because she SAW some
Chelsea: TWICE
Chelsea: and she keeps asking why I think they're creepy
Maddie: OH GOD
Chelsea: and i dont want to be like
Chelsea: "mom"
Chelsea: "i have to level with you"
Chelsea: "furries don't just enjoy dress up"
Chelsea: but anyway she was like "they were cute! they looked like they were having fun! why are they creepy?"
Chelsea: CAN'T THE MEDIA EXPLAIN THIS FOR ME
Chelsea: THIS MUST BE HOW CONSERVATIVE PARENTS FEEL WHEN THEIR KIDS ASK ABOUT GAY PEOPLE
#660
<DigDug> <hypr> dof i think hj00 lsefz haw
<DigDug> wtf did that say?
<hypr> i dunno
<hypr> what i said
#165659
<Doc> I really liked the ending to Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, honestly.
<Doc> I thought it would be rather Lord of the Ringy, but it turned out to be quicker, better, and more emotional
<Yutz> You could have had Edward make out with Mr. Tumnus, then it would be nice and Lord of the Ringy
<Doc> My first thought wasn't "gross" but "I'm sure the internet has already done that"
#54235
<@Styx> it hurt like a bitch, but apparently my pubic hair is stronger than duct tape
Comment: #bored
#262544
<Dux0r> man
<Dux0r> SVN has done something
<Dux0r> to my brain
<gailo> revert back to an old version then
#34313
* LittleWolfLS dresses in a Japanese sailor schoolgirl uniform
* Lenoh becomes all evil and tentaclerapes LittleWolfLS
<LittleWolfLS> DO NOT TENTACLE RAPE YOUR OPS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
<Lenoh> DO NOT PUT A SAILOR UNIFORM ON WITHOUT EXPECTING TO GET TENTACLE RAPED
<LittleWolfLS> damn, Lenoh's got me beat here
Comment: w00t
#35270
<elburrito> funny how you will always find a girl to watch you wank on your webcam, but hardly ever find a girl willing to wank on hers
Comment: #geekissues
#8093
<Hazim> APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY CARD
<LR|seksiwidow-> why the hell not?
<Hazim> i dunno.. they thought i wouldn't return them on time?
#6052
<fo0bar> I once has a (poor attempt) at a pr0n site, and was working with iBill on a support issue, and this young woman on the other end asks for what the site is so she can test it and I say "uhh, www.pussy4less.com" -- didn't even phase her
#42200
<FuzLogic> I never did figure out how to open the damn doors on the landing boats.
<mirth> "how i survived normandy" by FuzLogic
#34735
<Neon[UK]> fool
<Neon[UK]> i hope the cd player ejects the cd really fast and slices your head off
Comment: #geekissues EFnet
#28522
*** Ettin|Succubi is now known as Moses
<Moses> /part #oceans
#26209
<^KaMaG^> I always use "six letters long" cause the signup form said "Your password MUST be six letters long "!
#67077
<+Clariax> M_Tabak fears paper cutters
<+M_Tabak> I don't like paper cutters. I think it's their attitude. They're all about destruction and tearing things apart. That's not what I'm all about. I'm about togetherness. You know who has it right? Staplers. Staplers, man.
#5863
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#22932
<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet technologies
<aves2k> like JPG
#15570
<piglet3> [info] #gaysm 5 Don't f*&% with the topic PIG
<piglet3> They are into homosexual sadomasochism, but they can't bring themselves to spell out `fuck'.
#30104
<steve> i woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, face down on the bed, and felt as though i would burst.. and a flatulent event erupted forth quickly and silently and lasted for many many seconds
<steve> and i felt deflated..i felt the insides touching together again
<steve> and promptly fell asleep
<steve> my body was giving me a gift with that wakefulness
<adam> hahaha
<Mackay> that's a beautiful way of saying "i farted in bed"
Comment: #hatelife
#13495
<Skyphox> ahhh shoot, my spelling script has disapeared again
#61284
<Rod> that would be a great scientific experiement
<Rod> get 100 muslims and 100 christians. tell them each to say "the lord will protect me!" and jump off a building
<Rod> religion with the highest number of survivors wins
<Rod> if survivors tie at 0, pick 2 more religions, repeat.
#28691
<influx> heh what is it with irc and gay jokes?
<zaggy> influx: they go together like my penis and your juicy ass
#15897
Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread