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#3111
(Brodie) If I go see a doctor and tell him I can't maintain an erection, will he give me Viagra?
(Brodie) I need viagra for my paln
(Samadhi) He may check you though
(Samadhi) Like give you a HJ to make sure you're telling the truth
(Brodie) Sweet
(Brodie) This is win win
#436
<HomerJ> I had this computer built for this guy, all ready to go...so I walk to where my mom took my car, and when I get back, out cat sneezed on the board and fried it
#2570
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#7200
<zhix> logicbox - sarenna lee rocks you.. she's just so.. bountiful!
<zhix> I could literally get lost in her bosom.
<zhix> I'd accidently drop my bagel in there and end up falling in..
<barkode> barkode: JOSH, ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE? zhix: I'M FINE. GO AWAY. barkode: I'LL GET HELP. zhix: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKER. LEAVE ME HERE.
#14804
<filo> edwardo asked me if "i did any virgins" tonight
<filo> what an upstanding individual
#2506
<Dracon> weird.. seems like no matter what i do, cpu usage never shows 0.0%.
#58591
pancreas: If homosexuality is a disease, can I call in gay?
#310035
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#308942
<munin_> roughly it is modeling language and the brain, or, a graph-theoretic approach to modeling how language is represented in the brain
<munin_> she is teaching a graph to speak english by having it read reddit
<munin_> the first 2 phrases it learned were 'm night shamalamadingdong' and 'cockjuggling thundercunts'
<munin_> so it seems to be working
<munin_> she is going to try and get 'cockjuggling thundercunts' into her dissertation
#310284
<bionicfen> I am starting to get tired of my aspie friend staying in my guest room
<bionicfen> it smells of balls
<bionicfen> because he is having A Sad and not showering
<JDigital> help him into the shower like that time in King of the Hill where the bald one is having a sad
<bionicfen> oh my god my friend is Bill
<bionicfen> jesus fuckiing christ JD you son of a bitch
<bionicfen> I had not made this connection
<bionicfen> Like all he's missing is the ex wife
<bionicfen> man globalization is an amazing thing
<bionicfen> an Northern Irish dungeon master manages to completely grasp the essence of a man I've known for 15 years in a single sentence, referencing a cartoon television show
#12283
<Nor> i found my 1st grey pubic hair the other day :(
<Nor> It was in a BigMac
#52830
ryeenae: what's up with Vossoughi's wierd accent?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iranian
ryeenae: so, where is she from? Irania?
mentalpeter1212: it's Iran, dipshit
#162354
<skumby> i think only japanese chicks can get away with blue hair, a miniskirt, and a severed tentacle hanging from their twat
#6930
<psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"
#780
<dizzy_working> you couldn't kick my ass if I gave you special ass-kicking shoes and bent over for ya
#1975
<c-rock> Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock n roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.
#25206
(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon?
#285772
Betty!: he's engaged?!?!?
Erik: haha i dont know how serious that is
Erik: its facebook, not real life
Erik: i mean if that was true then i'd suddenly have a lot more lesbian friends
#5885
<splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
<splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
<purenergy> ya
<purenergy> u can do that now
<purenergy> use ur imagination
<splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl in a bar
<splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her spatch
<splurge> wiggle it around
<splurge> vibrate
<splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
<splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a seat beside you
<splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny
#4918
<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter
#698
<kisama> amanda is the opposite of a normal computer user
<Amanda`> KISAMA IS THE OPPOSITE OF HETEROSEXUAL
#146404
<Cosmo> Fox is pro war and anti good tv shows
#310619
bcallah | yeah I'm going to bed before I end up in another openbsd fanfic
#25011
[noddingGeek] lowkey: Yeah shes bringing a different friend this time...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: that's good. you can use the same moves again.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: I don't have any moves...
[lowkey] noddingGeek: damn. come up with some quick.
[noddingGeek] lowkey: ...I talked about my pcmcia ethernet card...
[noddingGeek] They didn't seem to care for it...
[jimmiejaz] were you passionate about it?
[noddingGeek] Yeah I was like "I CAN'T FIND MY MOTHERFUCKING ETHERNET CARD!"
[noddingGeek] Really pissed off like that..
[jimmiejaz] perfect.
[noddingGeek] Then they told me to get off the computer...
[jimmiejaz] and you said you were trying?
[noddingGeek] jimmiejaz: yeah thats exactly what I said....
#29110
<Bruce> You know the mile high club?
<Sheila> what about it?
<Bruce> Can you join it on your own?
<Sheila> you sad, sad little man