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#10067
<Eye_Candy> you're lucky I retain video game knowledge like Oprah retains water
#7466
<gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
<gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
<gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten with a
sledgehammer
#41182
<J_MAN> what sex are you and how old
<Samsa> my name is Gregor Samsa, and I awoke this morning to find myself transformed into a monstrous vermin
#296048
* SaxxonPike beats you to death with quantum theory... maybe
#17871
<Anton> Facial stabbing. Oozing blood. Shotgun vaginally inserted. Brains splatter over the wall. GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!
<Anton> is a good death metal track
#53829
<Kedrot> man, i think i'm catching teh ghey
<hey> sadly noticing early symptoms wont help
Comment: #geekissues EfNET
#9102
* Gygaxis breaks a carrier pigeon in half and removes a cryptic message from inside, along with his lucky lotto numbers
#139874
<Stueh> So you know how I started working at an all girls school?
<Stueh> Well
<Stueh> I had to see the school nurse for a checkup, as they's due at the start of term
<Stueh> She started asking me all these questions and putting it down on this form
<Stueh> and she goes "How tall are you?" and I reply "Limp or erect?"
<Stueh> She just grinned and said "limp please" so I said 178cm, then she raised an eyebrow and gigled, then asked "erect?" and I said "About 1 foot taller"
<Stueh> Then this horrified look just comes across her face, and I'm wondering, well, why is she so horrified if she edged me on?
<Stueh> Then I realised she's looking behind me... I turn around, and there's this group of year 11 students
<Stueh> I'm like "I'm talking about my height" and this one, with a big grin, goes "You grow a foot when you get a boner?"
<Stueh> "Yes I do and no you can't."
<Stueh> The nurse looked like she was going to fucking kill me XD
#31955
* Hyou-Chan[draw] (kyoshyu@Admin.Nightstar.Net) Quit (Quit: Every night, you come when I sleep; you touch me; you suck me; you enjoy it, and then leave me to suffer... Goddamn mosquito!)
#303089
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/
#297312
<@FlopSter> sometimes i wonder what type of product research one does when manufacturing love dolls
#11876
<[BDT]Karma> put the chicken mushroom [ramen] outside
<[BDT]Karma> and wait with a club
<[BDT]Karma> maybe a squirrel will come by
<[BDT]Karma> and you will have food for another day
#33699
<AlmtyBob> I once hit this girl over the head with a shovel in the alley
<AlmtyBob> and while she lie wimpering on the ground
<AlmtyBob> I pissed all over her
<AlmtyBob> then I burnt her to death
<AlmtyBob> oh wait...that was postal 2
<@AlmtyBob> nm
Comment: #ramen
#29640
<liquex> w00t
* liquex is the happiest man alive
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> w00t
<Gnimsh> hey liqqy
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> liqqy scored
<liquex> dude
<liquex> how did you know
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lol
<liquex> were you watching my webcam?
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lmao
<Gnimsh> lmao
<liquex> seriously i wanna know how you knew
#10928
<Methical> i need to get a 100 gig HD just for samples, then another 100 gig so that i cna back up everything
<Entomorph> methical, I'll give you something that's 100 gig
<thePoizon> hehe
<thePoizon> ento swingin with ol' lazy thunder again
<Entomorph> 'ol lazy thunder?
<Entomorph> more like milimeter peter
#137186
< stiv2k> so, i have to write a term paper on a 'controversial text'... any ideas? just spit them out
<JimmyDee_> satanic verses
< stiv2k> ahah
< spb> the holy bible
< stiv2k> that would be surely interesting
< fred> Novell's agreement with microsoft ¬_¬
Comment: #defocus on freenode
#23976
[+BIoNYX]: asking me if i'd go to an 8 o'clock class for any reason but a test or quiz is like asking me if i'd rather eat a piece of pizza or cut my nuts off with scissors
#8075
<minkus> ohh my god these pies taste great
<minkus> if only i could fuck them
<minkus> WAIT! I CAN
#28917
<^Ocean^> fucking bloody hell
<^Ocean^> I lost 33gig of HDSpace
<LlNK> lol
<LlNK> check under your keyboard
#13887
<BlackNovember> Yesterday when I woke up I found my missing Borknagar CD under my pillow.
<WinterDemon> Yeah, that's the "Cum residue on your hand fairy"s way of repaying you for the left over man juice on your hand after you finished beating off and passed out with your hand under the pillow.
<BlackNovember> Whoa, so if i jerk off tonight and put my hand under my pillow, I'll wake up with a Rotting Christ album under it?
<WinterDemon> Yes, but not the album with a bonus disc, that would be too greedy
#4777
<Lucent> stupid fucking mirc filling the filenames with underscores!
<Lucent> WE ALL HAVE OPERATING SYSTEMS THAT SUPPORT SPACES IN FILENAMES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
#300893
Orion: The internet is mostly cat pictures these days. I remember the good old days when the internet was conspiracy theorists, porn, and DOOM WAD files.
#306409
< iFarmer> I've come to the conclusion that the employees of my local library are idiots
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
< iFarmer> I scan the QR code. It says:
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
#7161
<KINGofEXTREME> i forgot cars come in manual man
<KINGofEXTREME> my friend starts changing gears
<KINGofEXTREME> im like what are you doing
<KINGofEXTREME> didnt know what was going on
#2931
<profuse> its rather good, this is the first of anything of his that ive listened to
<profuse> heh im talkinglike im british or some shit
<al-x> hey
<al-x> americans say "rather" too
<al-x> except they say "i'd rather have a big slow car that's flashy than a car that isn't flashy but runs better"