Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#40807
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
#310894
<@witheld> Well, my computer from the age of 3 to about 10 was this frankenstein build that a family friend built us running 95. When I first started using it I just used a program called "baby type" which created various noises and visualizations from pressing buttons and messing with the mouse
<@witheld> And then when I was 10 or so the mexican guy gave me my own windows 98 computer
<@witheld> mexican guy down the street*
<@KittyKatt> Oh, I thought you meant THE mexican guy.
<@KittyKatt> Like, everyone was supposed to get their computer from the mexican guy at the age of 10.
#246970
<zach[w]> You know, I really think the phrase "Wookiees can load their bowcasters with both standard and explosive-tipped quarrels.[citation needed]" is a perfect description of Wikipedia.
#18668
<Sabrina> she must have been special..
<Matt> well,I thought she was special, but then I realized she was just fuckng with my head and using me, and she didn't deserve to have me care about her
<Sabrina> awww :(
<Sabrina> girls suck, huh? ;)
<Matt> the best ones do...
#36168
<Nyschashi-Seikun> Hypothetical question, you have hot sauce in your urethra. how do you get it out without taking a piss/chopping your penis off?
<Nyschashi-Seikun> i need an answer QUICK
#19145
<Kinto> That totally sucked.
<Kinto> I work in a water store, and for some reason it flooded with water because we left the machine on ...
<Kinto> So I put my pant legs up and like helped clean the mess. Our carpet is going to smell.
<Kinto> But now only one pant leg is up, so now I look like LL COOL J.
* Kinto starts rapping.
<Menophis> That's better than looking like Kriss Kross.
<Menophis> I mean, I can only think of one justifiable reason for a man to have a zipper on the ass of his pants.
#74555
<micksam7> spling isn't back yet
<micksam7> he was suppose to be home today
<micksam7> hm
<micksam7> maybe he needs to be like.. lured or something
<micksam7> like in that pokemon game or whatever. you need to like, put something out to get them to come or something
* micksam7 thinks
* micksam7 ties some toast to a string
* micksam7 sets it on the floor and hides behind a couch 2 feet away
* spling joins #stats
* micksam7 has just caught a spling!
#27253
<@DieHard> dock
<@DieHard> my neighbors house is on fire!
<@Forty> DH!
<@Forty> RUN
<@Forty> SAVE THE PENTIUMS
<@DieHard> i run amd
#25586
<@kronz> dot <--
<@kronz> wait no
<@kronz> . <-- dot
#7651
<Squirrel> and if I'm looking at porn and I jizz all over the RPC's keyboard, is that on-topic?
#20276
* ^sWift licks Christina
* Christina has quit IRC (Quit: )
<^sWift> Whoa..
<^sWift> the lick of death
<Digitalis> damnit....gotta quit licking people sWift
* ^sWift licks Digitalis
<^sWift> damn it..u didnt die
#27224
<William> Heh.. they had a D&D 3.5 business kit at my venue yesterday.. they had preorder sheets, and if you filled one out you got a free D&D temporary tattoe of a spell.. the owner gave me a few free. heh.. all Protection from Good. I am gonna wear one on my head to my gaming group tommarow.
<Peter> Will, you need to get laid.
#4865
<iHaveAids> Anyone want to talk to a 17 / f?
#6986
<vamp_work> some guy named Debian hacked my box and made it unstable
<vamp_work> it tells me every time I log in
#33896
<ZekeMacNeil> lol
<ZekeMacNeil> my dad just IMd me for the first time
<TribGuru> Zeke: "a/s/l son?"
Comment: #fark on irvingnet
#6945
<skynxnex> let's call it "Glasnosat's and Skynxnex's Rockingly good Web Broswer with a Cool name"
<skynxnex> or Gasrgwbwacn for short.
#17941
<GameFang11> He says, and he pulls out sword from the wall
<GameFang11> he loses 3 HP
<GameFang11> The Thief attacks Christ
<Chris-Hotwire-Ashtear> hehehe
<GameFang11> DAMN! *Chris
<Drakkor> man
<Drakkor> you are going to hell
#56396
<predation> so I'm at work and this kid rings the bell on the counter RIGHT behind me
<predation> the kid goes "SORRY" when I turn around
<predation> kid's mom goes "sorry isn't an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose"
<predation> i'm putting it on a t-shirt
#296031
(+winterwyn): The asterisk of Judaism illustrates their inclusiveness and technological savvy by utilizing a string wildcard.
#2930
<Muskratt> How can people like you guys survive infancy without bursting into flames from some major god (I don't care who) 's anger?
<MightyQuinn> easy
<MightyQuinn> we carry fire extinguishers
#34090
<Drathian> does anyone know how to recover a lost sex drive.........
<PsyMar> yeah,try reformatting
Comment: #zebeth dreamIRC
#29906
<ZyKl0n> my uncle died on saturday
<ZyKl0n> :(
<ZyKl0n> I don't understand it... he was 43
<ZyKl0n> I hope I don't die when I'm 43
<j0sh> sux to be himi
<j0sh> did he die on the toilet
<j0sh> ?
<ZyKl0n> no... dropped dead walking up a driveway to an auction
<ZyKl0n> just keeled over
<j0sh> ROFL
<j0sh> did u take pics
<j0tun> OMG
<j0tun> what kinda question is that?
#303955
singularity: I don't find alcohol is so much liquid courage
singularity: as it is liquid loss of bladder control
#65407
pastachees: Titanic is really bad
pastachees: the movie anyways
pcat: The boat didn't work so well either
#14250
* <r0b3r> sighs and ponders what to do now....
* <Lynda> ponders, "draw something?"
<r0b3r> Tried that already. Can't think of anything to draw, really.
<Lynda> draw... a couple, resting in bed together.
* <r0b3r> blinks at what Lynda says....
<r0b3r> No. I don't draw that, thank you ery much.
<Lynda> I wasn't suggesting anything ecchi.
<Lynda> I take it you've never had a really serious relationship.
<r0b3r> I have one with someone right now, actually.
<r0b3r> Just it's an odd relationship considering my character is human
and she is an alien...