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#3902
<+Tre> how do I get girls to have sex with me?
<+sp00n> show them software you have written..woman go wild for that kind of stuff
<+Tre> for real? how should i show them? do I carry my laptop around and show random woman??
#394
<blazemore> i hate when you're trying to own someone
<blazemore> and then you own yourself
#16767
<cloud_171> u can't learn lots of stuff by reading
#47394
<eosyn> 90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border.
<+Dulak> How wide is canada?
<IdiotStic> depends on the map. about 14 inches on this one :)
Comment: #LinuxGeneration
#9185
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
#53593
iReima: That reminded me of that one time
iReima: where I wanted to get this job at a kiosk, selling phones
iReima: the guy was all like
iReima: "Alright, how old are you?"
iReima: "....19. NO WAIT, 20!"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Lmao
iReima: "...I'm not gonna get the job, am I?"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Yeah, I did that during one interview
MitsukaiSiryuse: I stared at the guy
MitsukaiSiryuse: And went ".....Uh......"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "Hold on, let me calculate it real quick...1985......17"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "I should just walk out, shouldn't I?"
iReima: We fail, my friend
#14692
<ShoeFlip6058>: I made this screenplay where a serial killer goes to random victims houses, goes into their bedrooms, and screams "DON'T WAKE UP" in their faces while they sleep. The wake up, see him, and they die of fright
<ShoeFlip6058>: I would cast Christopher Walken as the killer
<Claypeople>: Dude, if i saw christopher walken in person I'd die of fright
<Jenova>: He's a scary mofo
#943
<SysErr0r> i'm gonna eat a box of chocolate covered strawberries then jerk off
<SysErr0r> hows THAT for romance
<hypr> only romance if you are going to caress your penis with the strawberries
#27915
<Extigy> Ships are Long, Hard and full of sea men!
<blondee> i don't get it....
#3286
*** Quits: MediArc (i am the lover in your bed)
<roded> i'm going to bed
#3841
[17:23:28] [Synoptica] I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHIT NOW EVERYONE
[17:29:32] [Xta-C ] COOL!
[17:30:13] [Synoptica] jesus christ i dont remember eating chili
#1337
<Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google turns up my own page at the top of the list.
<Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go looking for stuff.
#50831
«@cv_otaku» Hey, does anyone know how long Chinese can go in the refrigerator before it goes bad?
«@Tdot[Comic]» ...people or food?
#16926
<@harb> farq: Do I look like the sort of man who'd go and find unsuspecting Japanese schoolgirls in short skirts and white panties and ask them if they want to see my "Cthulu Special"?
< farq> harb: no, but I just got a new .sig
#8266
* Kimbot tries to think like a hentai anime girl...
<Slant> Kimbot: Come up with anything?
<Kimbot> Damn. I just realized that I'm going to get sexafied by the next person that sees me. Again. And I hate my life. Why couldn't I be in some magical girl cartoon, where they stick to panty shots!
#19145
<Kinto> That totally sucked.
<Kinto> I work in a water store, and for some reason it flooded with water because we left the machine on ...
<Kinto> So I put my pant legs up and like helped clean the mess. Our carpet is going to smell.
<Kinto> But now only one pant leg is up, so now I look like LL COOL J.
* Kinto starts rapping.
<Menophis> That's better than looking like Kriss Kross.
<Menophis> I mean, I can only think of one justifiable reason for a man to have a zipper on the ass of his pants.
#146901
<Hogie> I was locked out of our server rooms the other night
<Hogie> because my finger got cut
<Hogie> and I couldn't pass biometrics
#37704
[23:50] * HerbDX is now on holiday, back in 2 weeks
[23:55] * HerbDX is on holiday [ back in 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours and 55 minutes ]
[23:55] <harryj> this is gonna be a LONG 2 weeks
#7794
<RighteousSuicide> I was running around today like a retard
<RighteousSuicide> and I hear a BANG
<RighteousSuicide> i couldn't figure out what it was
<RighteousSuicide> then I noticed I had run into a dumpster
#30473
[ blinko1 ] A friend of mine used to go to gas stations and ask for cigarettes
[ blinko1 ] when they put them on the counter he would grab them and run
[ blinko1 ] if the guy chased we would run inside and loot the place
Comment: #d2jsp
#3746
<madog> one of these days ima whore an o and /kill qurve
<Infomastr> i've set up private irc servers just to /kill myself
<elm> you must be bored
<Infomastr> i have no sex life
#32465
<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...
Comment: bash.org
#12017
<TheHobo> Has anyone ever downloaded a 24kb program that tries to send your hard drive to a japanese company?
#8867
<Rance> i'm right next to a gateway country... i should walk in with my powerbook :)
#56367
<FrozenTrout> I stubbed my toe
<Thorog> (This toe is a stub. You can help #sluggysquad by expanding it!)