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#68398
TrogL> the person handing out official photo id will not give you your official photo id unless you have your official photo id
TrogL> 3 people are trying to get her to see the catch-22 and she's not getting it
[...]
TrogL> the lady with the ID's gave up and is now handing them out at random
TrogL> she's not even checking to make sure the picture matches
TrogL> apparently I'm a skanky blonde
TrogL> the guy next door's picture shows him bleeding profusely from a head wound
TrogL> gotta love low-bid contractors
#22468
--> The_Ents (~trees@the.darkforrest.net) has joined #Isengard
<-- Saruman has quit (Excess Flood)
#29305
<ath> you're too BITTAR
<X-Ultron> haha
<X-Ultron> tell that to all the nutcases that i encounter on the streets of harrisburg
<X-Ultron> the other day, i was out getting lunch
<X-Ultron> and i saw a black impala ss
<X-Ultron> so i was admiring it
<X-Ultron> and as i turned around
<X-Ultron> this bum walks up to me with his fist extended
<X-Ultron> "yoooo!!! it's been a long time! you can see that I shaved mine off [he was referring to my goatee]"
<X-Ultron> then i'm just standing there with a blank look on my face
<X-Ultron> and this dude does this weird handshake thing
<X-Ultron> then whispers "i'm a fisherman" and walks away
<Supachikn> hahahah
<Supachikn> oh my god
<X-Ultron> first thing i did was check to make sure i still had my wallet and keys :B
Comment: #hydrogenaudio on freenode
#53290
<Theropissed> wtf
<Theropissed> its like every nation that lost in world war 2 is fucked up
<Theropissed> Germany, Japan....italy even
<Theropissed> nasty italian porn where this dude stuffed his head into some girls vagina
<MavethTheAce> That was russian
<Theropissed> ....
<Theropissed> whats sad is
<Theropissed> you corrected me on that
#50821
<Pashoshon> Hey, do you know when n00b hunting days are?
<Lukian> When?
<Pashoshon> Any day ending with 'y'.
<Lukian> Well, then forget about tomorrow.
<Pashoshon> At least we've got today! :P
#298784
<Triented> Let's make a movie that's the same feel of Oceans 11.
<Triented> Except instead of us breaking into a casino to steal cash...
<Triented> We'll break into Dynamix's abandoned office building to steal the Starsiege Tribes Source Code.
Comment: TRIBES FOREVER
#14860
[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] •Necro• ...
#46079
<reddave1982> I got the 24-hr garage night shift blues
<Langly> what planet are you on that has 24 hour nights?
<microwiz> are there parts of earth that are dark for 24h? i know there are parts that are light for 24h
<FMalibu> well yes one implies the other
<FMalibu> probably antarctica or something is pretty much dark all day long by now?
* FMalibu imagines what kind of night shifts they have there...
<FMalibu> right, you'll be on pinguin duty...
<microwiz> PENGUIN GARAGE
<Langly> Terrapin Garage
<microwiz> insert "it looks like you blew a seal" joke here
#25610
<infinitySPZ> In the beginning, God Created man out of his own image.
<Fleebis> Was it JPEG?
#301362
<abrn> lol I just opened this letter and its a subpoena for treason
#42060
<Saikouro> they are showing a program about Analsex on discovery right now!!
* FURYO has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
* GABATOM has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
* dewit4 has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
<Saikouro> ROFL
Comment: #sushi
#22213
Sinviras: Squeak got himself a g/f
Sinviras: ?
CVYSqueak915: yeah
Sinviras: grats
CVYSqueak915: thanks
Sinviras: what lvl is she?
CVYSqueak915: SHe has no internet
Sinviras: ....
Sinviras: dump her
#37057
<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably early
<cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback by
<cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said, without thinking, "that's what all the girls say"
<cow_crap> I am such a fucking idiot
<cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins
#29639
(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN
(@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu
—› quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet) (Read error: EOF from client)
#30773
(@johnny|aw) man, when i'm about 60 years old, i'll think back to the time when i was 20, when i could do EVERYTHING i wanted to...and i spent my time reading bash-quotes...
(@tyree) haha
(@johnny|aw) i think i should kill myself right now :)
#437
<lamont-> spanish kids can speak better english than most kids on aol
<lamont-> when they're fucking three years old!
#289
<rouge> you vegetarian?
<AlmtyBob> yah
<rouge> i'm sorry. :/
#2351
<Horizon> Harhar! I get a paper that says "Congradulations, you are less of an idiot now."
<Morbii> does it have a small "but you're still canadian" attached to an asterisk or something too?
<Morbii> :P
#30304
<Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet = convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning, and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know jack about you
#310881
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
#80132
<wingnuts> ...
<wingnuts> buddy of mine had an order for a custom "rack".. the one that holds servers and shit
<wingnuts> which is odd, cause he fabricates aluminum shit...
<wingnuts> but they wanted all this heatpipe shit for all the comps
<wingnuts> and he was like "That's nice, but where does the heat go?", and the client points to this massive chunk of metal in the center of the rack with a little flap on it
<wingnuts> and says "That's where the pizza box goes. All the heat from the servers are focused on that. No pizza means the system overheats, so you gotta keep putting fresh boxes in there to absorb the radiant energy".
<wingnuts> :|
<wingnuts> Pizza powered network.
#8395
<glossolalia> oh well, the way I see it, the chances of me being smacked in the head by a meteor or accidentally being killed in a gang war are pretty slim, especially with my new-found love of drinking JD while chatting on IRC
#1611
<tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a minimal octal instead of puging the cache
#27949
<willo> so
<willo> this morning
<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road.
<willo> I didn't let him by
<willo> I get to work
<ogw-iii> that sounds painful
<willo> and it turns out to be the guy in the next cube
<willo> I'm trying to determine an appropriate beratement.
<willo> stoning?
<ogw-iii> "<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road."
<willo> you put that in bash.org and I'll hurt you.
*** willo is now known as HULK
<HULK> PUNY HUMAN!
<ogw-iii> how's about bash.cx?
#28310
<antiuser> man
<antiuser> flash is like sméagol
<antiuser> the first time you get a bit worried
<antiuser> the second time it's all nice
<antiuser> then the third time it wants to KILL MASTER