m.QDB.us

Random | Latest | Best | Full Site

#4380
<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.
<Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he was half-erect in his pants.
<Spork> Which he was.

#4249
<Altoid> patience, young skywalker
<DeX`> but that leia bitch wont put out!
<DeX`> shes got those huge danishes on her ears to hang onto....
<Altoid> mmmm
<Altoid> danish
<Altoid> you fuck her, I'll eat the ears

#54161
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU

#1038
<[Duo]> man, you guys are so not 7334

#6511
<monami> this utility has a macro recording function but no loop command
<monami> so i record a macro, and then put a stapler on the keyboard to hold the button down
<monami> and go have coffee
<monami> i note that the stapler, on the whole, is a more efficient and productive employee than i am

#30957
<nomad> everything loads so fast on this computer
<nomad> I have no time to decide what I will do next

#25604
<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot

#33676
<dingle> i look like a huge penis with my head shaved

#6147
<bpshuler> it all comes down to what your goal is. and once again, because people don't want to figure out on their own what they want, they allow marketers to dictate it to them, then act on it. frustrates me to no end
<Yawgatog> I want Super Mario World for Game Boy Advance. That'll rule!

#305512
<snaphat> what does ({}) mean?
<snaphat> i tried googling and google doesn't even know
<NN> snaphat: Unless I'm quite mistaken, female genetalia.
<snaphat> thats what I thought, but I i've never seen it before

#93358
Invisceo: If i don't get at least a 175 on the LSAT, i'll have to fly to NY and jump off the Empire State Building
Styling Dan: dude, jump off the world trade towers
Styling Dan: they are much higher
Kazooie197: Not anymore :|
Styling Dan: what?
Styling Dan: yeah, Im pretty sure they are the tallest building in new york
Invisceo: dude, where have YOU been?
Styling Dan: what?
Kazooie197: I'm probably taller than the remaining rubble
Styling Dan: what do you mean
Styling Dan: rubble!??1?
Styling Dan: WHAT THE FUCK?!

#6248
<elroyk> i like to look at pictures of me then, because I get to think "wow, I am really a lot hotter now"

#60275
<Bjarni> XeryusTC: the reason for your project is failing is that you want to get a life and your progress is to make a homepage and get people from IRC to read it

#7857
[Hive] You know what really pisses me off? People who point at their wrist when asking for the time. Yeah, buddy, I know where my watch is. Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask for the bathroom?

#306366
<mabb> my project has been research into "is this possible" for the first 3 weeks. Now it's moved onto "Hey, this might be possible"
<yicui> is it proven rigourously?
<mabb> more like proven religiously: I'm praying that this works

#50219
<Syric>  Like...I'll give them a quiz and tell them to "Read every question before answering, you have 5 minutes" and it'll have 40 questions. The last question would be "Do not do any of the questions above. Turn in paper blank"
<Sammael>  but that wouldn't be a question...
<Syric>  k, now I feel stupid.
<Rooks>  Acceptance is the first step to a cure, or so they say.

#25616
<Everdraed> We can't grab women's boobs?  The terrorists have won!
<Luna`> can't let the terrorists win.
<Everdraed> Exactly Luna
* Everdraed grabs Skyday's boobs
<Skyday> :OP!!!!!!

#295495
<MyKe> have you ever ejaculated into a frying pan
<Cibby> yes

#7227
<Prophet_Tenebrae> i am to porn what pot noodle is to snacks.
<Wesley> an insult?

#310186
<crystal-cola> here's a good multiplication algorithm
<crystal-cola> 1010101 x 110
<crystal-cola> well
<crystal-cola> I don't know how to do it but it starts like that

#25142
<phats> damnit, now that I'm checking my mail pretty often I'm not getting any
<phats> heh
<phats> mail that is

#30402
<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit

#304222
<@Sebas> "I like these piercings that look like clubs and spades."
<@Sebas> "Get your upper lip pierced too, then you can get the hearts and the diamonds as well and have a pokerface."

#4451
<amoeba> mouse gestures = OMG IM TOO LAZY TO PRESS TEH BUTTONS ON TEH KEYBOARD
<@tr0n> HEY IF I MOVE IT IN AN S PATTERN AND THEN A ZIGZAG AND THEN A SQUARE SHAPE IT WILL TAKE ME TO FAGS.NET

#41666
<FennecFoxen> Anyone know what "경영컨설팅에 관한 모ë“  ÃªÂ²Æ’" means?
<Luigi30> It means: half of an umlauted e squared, I have an accent and a box, asterisk. the asterisk means the box is also accented forward, according to a quote. my accent also has a box or two, but the backward accent has boxes too. my umlaut is abbreviated so it can fit into a box with my other accent. my double E size superscripted battery came with an quote and an E packaged in a box. spaced between is an e-hat squared with a quote-unquote "box"
<Luigi30> *pant, pant*
Comment: #wikipedia

Random | Latest | Best | Full Site