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#6894
AtomicInternet: I'm going to download GTA3 and Warcraft III when it comes out and distribute them to everyone.
mavstring: that is wrong.
AtomicInternet: yes, it is. A single tear rolled down my cheek.
#151919
Hali: I stole a government-issued pencil today
Hali: somebody called me a terrorist for it :O
#298993
<rmaly_05> man i need ur help
<segin11> with what?
<rmaly_05> i m trying to put condom on my penis
<segin11> WTF
<rmaly_05> but the foreskin of my penis is not coming back
#310585
< rycuda> Well, turns out that I need glasses
< BrainoMite> rycuda, walk into the wall again?
< rycuda> BrainoMite: close, I walked into an optician
#59187
<drzoot> funniest thing thats happened all day (its been a slow day), i just got a new dell poweredge 2850 server, so i open all the cartons, smell that new smell and then start going through the included cds. one of them is a quick install cd for windows server 2003 (im using it cause ive been told to not cause i want to). so i pop in the quick install cd to see how that goes and it boots isolinux and launches me into a x11 based windows quick install / config shell
<Ronz> you mean windows supports linux...?
<drzoot> no i mean dell has decided that its easier to do all the configuration and setup using linux and just copy the files over rather than actually use the windows installer
Comment: #gentoo
#299911
< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> .....not what I meant.
#221161
<@mikesch> the woman sitting across from me has a weird tinyhand.
<@mikesch> with the same french manicure that her other, regular, hand has.
<@jop> are you picturing it around your cock
<@mikesch> I am now, you fucker.
#53148
<leif> last night, we were at WalMart, and this dude was playing the 360 demo station..
<leif> and we watched for a bit
<leif> he was getting his ass shot up
<leif> so Mike says "Let's go somewhere else, this guy fucking sucks"
<leif> the kid slammed the controller and stormed off with tears in his eyes
<leif> i was like.. "Sweet, now I can play"
#36113
<uidzer0> i'm fucking outta here.. peace!
<-- uidzer0 has quit (Quit: BitchX: try our Windows 95/98 and Windows NT 4 flavors too!)
--> uidzer0 (~uidzer0@68.101.43.169) has joined #solaris
<uidzer0> i do not condone or endorse my last quit message.
<uidzer0> that's all. peace
<-- uidzer0 has quit (Client Quit)
#30144
<Milao> Hmm... I forgot to pick up my son from school today, and it's already 9:30... I'm trying to decide whether to pick him up now, or just bring food in the morning on the way to work.
<Jaayy> How long have you been wondering this?
<Milao> About twenty minutes.
<Jaayy> Dear god... some people should not be allowed to be parents.
#142667
<Turra> the 5th element is awesome
<Kar> Boron?
Comment: #TGi
#310413
(aaaaaaaaa) I know people at work that actually store files in the recycle bin. As in, they store files they plan to use in the future there. IT had to stop deleting files from it because of people's work was getting lost and had to be restored from the backups.
#30566
<Mediator> hmm....that troy movie looks awsome....I'll be able to jackoff to orlando bloom without having to watch lotr
<@Phucker> assumes 'orlando' is female.
<Mediator> your assumtion is wrong
<@Phucker> Jesus.
<Mediator> orlando bloom is legolas in lotr
<@Phucker> Jesus x2.
#57165
<jnz> I spilt Mountain Dew on my keyboard a few times and it left some thick syrupy stuff I never really decided to clean off. I've also spilt drinks on my cable modem and in my surge protector. Everything still worked fine.
<jnz> I move into an apartment close to my college for a semester and sugar ants appeared out of nowhere and would swarm my computer and electronics at night. In a week or so my cable modem, surge protector, and keyboard were completely clean and syrup free. Ants rock.
#27930
(@ian) my neighbor must have been like 5 or 6 yrs old
(@ian) and i was in like 4th grade
(@ian) so my friend (who lives on the other side of this kid)
(@ian) we drank some cokes
(@ian) and we were bored
(@ian) so we went out in the woods and pissed inside one of the cans
(@ian) and between both of us we like filled it up
(@ian) so then we were like hey justin.... this pop is warm i don't want it
(@ian) OK LEFT M3 HAFT IT PWEEZE!
(@ian) THIF TAFTE LAIK PISS KTHX
(@ian) *drinks some more*
(@ian) GROSS
(@ian) throws it down
(@ian) YOU GUYS SUCK
(@ian) *leaves*
(@ian) then his mom got all pissed off
(@ian) now that i think about it
(@ian) it's bad enough to drink a pop can that 2 other people's dicks have been on
(@ian) despite the fact that he drank half a coke can of piss
#74351
Merchelo> no one uses cd's
nosmo> You ever wonder where mp3s come from?
nosmo> Your parents didn't give you "the talk"
#302537
<sshinji> I've discovered that explaining hexadecimal across the table is a very efficient way to lose your date.
#34223
<t|to> I practice being a bash.org mod by voting "negative" on all the quotes in the bash.cx queue
#270018
<Steve_Restless> "Yer drive is dead. send it to HP"
<Raiden> Better is 'Your drive is dead. It dropped below zero HP'
Comment: #Chaos_GardenRPG, espernet
#3632
<tsui-ji> gyl: go into #asian and tell em you are white, have muscles and drive a nice car and mad chicks will msg you
#31527
* RunNeoRun activates the Snow Scan
<ZaphodB> wow.
<ZaphodB> i am fwcasniated by the pdloepper farada.
<ZaphodB> uff da
<ZaphodB> fwascinaetd by the dopler rafdar.
<ZaphodB> GODDAMMIT
<ZaphodB> WORK, FINGERs
<ZaphodB> fascinated by the doppler radar
<RunNeoRun> ZaphodB: please don't make me laugh so hard. my abs are really sore
<ZaphodB> there wg ego
Comment: #userfriendly during blizzard in Ohio
#28805
<^Neatoo^> I'm so tired of these thieves that keep stealing my condoms.... ITs like "Hey man can i have one of your condoms? " "uhhh no..." "oh..ok *swipe*"
<^Neatoo^> Its like a fucking credit card or something
#2391
<maff> you're such a sarcastabitch brett
<timmo`> if by sarcastic you mean sexy, then yes.
#594
<Johnno> my favorite animal is the scapegoat
#7479
<rlorenzon> ...and that's when i knew she was the one
<wolfnip> how did you know that?
<rlorenzon> because...i lost all my friends.