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#31880
<splice> he makes me laugh, i have no problem with him
<splice> and he pisses people off, i can respect that
#7442
<F|uke> I like to have sex with Enya playing in the background
<F|uke> Enya doesnt mind it either.,....she just sits, watches and plays
#16592
<RtWh0> garlic ok you and me right here right now
* GaRlic_iv puts up his dukes
* GaRlic_iv ... wait.. i got fuckin no dukes
* RtWh0 pulls out ding dong and swings it around like a whip and cuts Garlics head off
<RtWh0> then some guy yells FATALITY
<RtWh0> in a mean vioce
<GaRlic_iv> RtWh0 pulls out ding dong
<GaRlic_iv> i hope thats not your dogs name dude
#15594
<Nani-chan> hey folks, can we keep it semi clean right now? my parents might be watching and i dont wanna get in trouble
<Nani-chan> crack: 14 y.o girl, you dumbass cockless bitch
<RikisuuDelta> quite hypocritical if you ask me
#124
<FuNGiSiDE> is xxdethxx givin out instructions to make that portable pocket pussy again
#103426
Justin: Is there something wrong with only having women I can trust deeply enough to call on for advice with life's curveballs?
Scaramouche: Nope.
Scaramouche: Women are infinitely better than men at that sort of thing.
Justin: Probably.. but shouldn't I try to get a male perspective on things too?
Scaramouche: You HAVE a male perspective, remember?
Justin: Oh ya...
Scaramouche: LMAO
#55138
<MadeInAustralia> 95% of emos are homosexual
<Pen_Pen> And the rest are female.
#29103
<RickoniX> Ooh, QDB2
<RickoniX> And you get to dig through the un-accepted quotes!!!
<RickoniX> woot
<j4_james> qdb2?
<RickoniX> Yeah, it's either the next QDB, or it's like Gnutella2, a ripoff :P
<RickoniX> It's at http://bash.cx
<Petah> .cx?
<Petah> thats enough to scare me off
Comment: #foogoo on BeyondIRC
#37835
<Bikke> Whoah, I'm in better shape than I'd expected.
<Bikke> 3 miles plus 6-700 vertical feet in like 20 mins
<GauHelldragon> that is a very impressive jump :o
#33101
<Trigun_> I hate Anger mangement class
<Recon> heh
<Recon> i can tell its really working :|
#310326
< Spengo> so
< Spengo> I met up with one of my transgender friends who I haven't seen in forever
< Spengo> had a child
< Spengo> now he's transparent
< ryantmer> Somewhere, a drummer did a rimshot, and they have no idea why
< xmc> so technically you still haven't seen him
< ryantmer> Ha!
#60470
<Ina> got a problem with that file stuff
<Alex> what?
<Ina> yeah, always tells me that the files are too large
<Alex> well, send them separately or compress them
<Ina> but I've already pushed them closer to each other
<Alex> pushed them closer??
<Ina> yeah, on the screen, you know
<Alex> ???
<Ina> those symbols, you know, I've put them closer to each other, now they take up less room
<Alex> you've... pushed together... the images... the symbols...?
<Ina> YEAH! Now they need less space, don't they?
<Alex> ...*bangs head on table*
#4108
<reaper> I'm not racist I have colour TV :/
#8875
<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?
#29931
<Mr_X> I once went fishing with K0ffing and we caught syphilis.
<K0ffing> worst tasting fish ever
#18447
<wishy> i saw gi jane and she was rockin the one armed push ups
<wishy> so i wanna do them
<Zimbu> "When I grow up, I want to be like GI Jane!"
#52306
<Sef> We were cleaning out my friend's storage space today because his parents paid us 25 bucks each. :o
<Sef> And we found some interesting things.
<rstlne> oh?
<Sef> A vibrator. Some weird gloves. And a book. "The New Joy of Sex"
<Sef> We stuck the vibrator in the dishwasher that was there.
<Sef> Then we went back to his house and found out his parents are going to give the dishwasher to his grandmother.
<Sef> So..
<Sef> Either way, someone's going to open up the dishwasher and get a surprise.
<Sef> Big orange floppy penis.
#36937
<JustinCredible> so I was catching for my brother today when he was warming up for baseball practice and he hits me in the head with a baseball and my eyes start watering
<JustinCredible> my dad tells me to stop bein a pussy and I just stare right back at him and say "you are what you eat"
<JustinCredible> so now I'm fuckin grounded...
<JustinCredible> I just can't win
#13403
(KrON^) *yawn*
(GoofNOff) *yawn*
(GoofNOff) stop that
ÄÄÄ ..[join/#php] hepcat_(~knight@PPP-159.dentech.net)
(cwc) No, YOU! Who the hell ever caught a yawn off of the internet?
(GoofNOff) I did... just now
ÄÄÄ cwc did too. How embarrassing.
#236973
<tenX> any experiences with expertsexchange.com anyone?
<xsawyerx> i've never had a sex change, so i can't advise there...
#3858
<TURBOMEAT> my car caught fire.
<TURBOMEAT> I tried to flick a cigarette out the window
<TURBOMEAT> and it was only like 1/4 down
<TURBOMEAT> so it bounced off the window and went under the seat
<TURBOMEAT> 2 streets later there was smoke billowing out from under me
<TURBOMEAT> it landed on some paper
<TURBOMEAT> then started to burn the material under the seat
<TURBOMEAT> I wish someone had TOLD me smoking could be hazardous
#1390
<hypr> MY MOM WONT LET M,E WEAR HEADPHONES CAUSE SHE THINKS THEY WILL GIVE ME CANCER OR A BRAIN TUMOR
<hypr> she like sneaks up behind me and takes them off and says she will break them if she sees em on me again
<hypr> :(
<[cut]> <schwtzngr> IT'S NOT A TUMOR!
#117878
<timelyx> can someone explain how to use wikipedia in a foreign language? :)
<max> timelyx: navegar simplemente a wikipedia.org y seleccionar tu lengua
#2738
<ckx> xmas was fun back before i was blessed with pubes and still had hopes and dreams and such
#17129
<moira> o
<AnimeFreak> my new keyboard has improved my typing skills
<AnimeFreak> too bad other keyboards suck compared to this keyboard
<moira> is it an ergonomic microsoft keyboard
<AnimeFreak> no
<AnimeFreak> ibm model m
<moira> sry ergonomic is best
<AnimeFreak> no
<AnimeFreak> model m > *
<jre> FUCKS SAKE, ARE THEY FORGETTING TO INSTALL SHIFT KEYS ON THE NEW KEYBOARDS?!?@!