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#446
<SYch0> my mom got rearended
#15769
<jor> NE SXE/F W/P N A/S/L PM ME PLZ IF U R D 1 2 C 4 A BJ KTHX
#295976
<Lamia> my husband just said to me, "If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk, right now!"
<Lamia> I need a snappy comeback to that.
<DarkDread> tell him, "If your name was homework, I'd be ignoring you to play video games."
#302291
<TwoPointOh> ZenGwen: do you get easily offended by references to 9/11?
<ZenGwen> no
<TwoPointOh> okay
<TwoPointOh> i had a great idea for a t-shirt
#8448
<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper management
#32076
<Drav> where the hell can a well-intended, modest, christian fellow go to get a handjob around here?
<ktrout> look no further than the end of your arm
<CoverSlide> Drav: are you under 12?
<CoverSlide> because you could become catholic
#1021
(Goemon) Is it possible to just plug a like 1GHz processor into your computer?
#49729
Pixelated Empire: I wish I was as god-like as you. <<;
driftwoodRetro: :o
driftwoodRetro: Mr So-Called-Godlike spent most of today either asleep, barfing, or (in one of the strangest moments of my life) both
Pixelated Empire: o.o
Pixelated Empire: WTF?
Pixelated Empire: You sleep-barfed...?
driftwoodRetro: no comment
#308323
< ShaRose> not sure if talking about religion or my little pony
#29475
* Clef is watching The Mask with Jim Carrey
<Gothic> :O
<Gothic> Jim Carrey's at your house!?
#4852
<ryo-ohki> and it would be an understatement to say I AM FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND
<DCBastard> lol - what else is new?
<DCBastard> one day you should come into the channel and go "WOW - I AM TOTALLY FUCKING STRAIGHT" - we'd all be like "holy shit! that is amazing!"
#9545
<InSaNe-CON> how do u put irc always on top ?
<@arc|hw> ctrl alt del twice
*** InSaNe-CON (diamond81_@vdsl-130-13-138-107.phnx.uswest.net) Quit (Ping timeout )
*** InSaNe-CON (diamond81_@vdsl-130-13-138-107.phnx.uswest.net) has joined #r
<InSaNe-CON> umm alt cntrl delete restarted my computer
<@arc|hw> you must have pressed something wrong
#2472
<ArAgOn__> Dyckert: If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?
#49948
< SpinifeX> KRYSTAL- aka not a whore says:
< SpinifeX> lol id it werent for the sun you'd be the hottest thing in the universe!
< SpinifeX> SpinifeX says:
< SpinifeX> and if my computer didnt exist you'd be the sexiest thing in the universe
#160168
<rbrown11> dude
<anon> ?
<rbrown11> i'm in the student center
<rbrown11> there's this guy in front of me, he looks EXACTLY like you
<rbrown11> should i say something?
<anon> it is me you fucker
#116110
<ednos> root, help!
<ednos> the only language available is British English!
<root> ?
<ednos> I don't speak that!
<root> lol
<root> you'll survive
<root> it doesn't prevent you typing your posts in american
<ednos> I won't know which button submits
<ednos> is it "prevaricate about the bush" or "spot o' milk"?
Comment: #taskforceranger on irc.gamesurge.net
#58
<disconect> Tekken and sex both give my hand a cramp if I do it for too long, though...
#29447
(+emil) hahahahahahshsahhahshahhhhhash
(@Spellbinder) hash?
(+emil) what?
(+emil) oh
(+emil) i have fat fingers
(+emil) so when i laugh on irc
(+emil) i press the s button too
#22291
<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE than weed
#33595
<Fonix> Windows told me to make a new password and I put in 'penis'...
<Fonix> and it said it was too short. :(
#3098
<snag> <@Mir> I wonder what it would be like to fuck in space... in 0-gee
<snag> you need to fuck first
<snag> then you can be picky
#311081
<~LexPro> #foreveralone unable to join channel (channel is full)
<~LexPro> IRONY
#55173
<rain_man> keemo - I saw something on ZA that said it's phoning home to Mossad.
<Keemo> no, thats ZionAlarm
#33260
<jonathans> that is so old that telling people that it's old has gotten old
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#32942
KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office manager please(very gruff voice)
KArmA-: me: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?
KArmA-: me: no asshole, I said, who do you think you're talking to, with that tone of voice
KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like that
KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak to your office manager.
KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so special?
KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?!?
KArmA-: me: *click*