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#70718
<ZoFreX> I'm actually considering fucking some fat chick I know
<ZoFreX> just cos she's up for it
<TheRandom> ZoFreX if you do
<TheRandom> i wont talk to you again
<ZoFreX> awesome.
<Ecom> hell for that, even I would do her
<FireFalcon> I'd fuck a fat chick if TR would commit suicide.
<FireFalcon> Hell, I'd fuck Zo if TR kills himself.
<ZoFreX> special 2 for 1 deal, I'd kill myself too
#307236
<Parsee> I don't know... Yuyuko, you were suggesting giving missiles as messages, right?
<Yuyuko> Yeah, you don't need an interpreter.
<Yuyuko> Everyone speaks missile.
Comment: #touhou, irc.darkmyst.org
#310896
<+Rjx> the thing that bothers me most is the question mark
<+Thero> ?
#52518
<nox>I was sitting on the bus on my way to school and couldn’t help pausing my iPod for this one:
<nox>Black man #1: Yo! Whut the fuck are you lookin’ at?!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Would it hurt for you to speak respectably to others?
<nox>Black man #1: Nigga whut? Are you black? You looks black, but dat must just be black paint on yo skin!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Nevermind. I appologize. I’m sorry.
<nox>Black man #1: You sorry?! Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to yo momma!!! Call her up right now! Say sorry dat you lost yo real color!
Comment: .derekilicious @ wordpress
#3557
<mightyflo> and "what technologies do you like working with best?"
<mightyflo> that's an odd question
<redbatszu> dusteating nanobots?
<mightyflo> i should hook those up to the x10 remote
<mightyflo> i could clean the house from my chair
#247654
<joseph321> hey guys can i ask a question?
<Stueh> Shoot
<joseph321> my girlfriend hasnt had her period in like 4 months do you think somethings wrong?
<Stueh> Erm ... you sure she's not pregnant?
<joseph321> yeah shes 4 months pregnant
<DanceNigga|Work> You can't be serious
<Stueh> Kid, it's not too late for an abortion, you know that right?
#7120
<AgentAce1> hmm
<AgentAce1> well that's interesting
<AgentAce1> actually...that's fuckin weird ass shit
#57593
<Steck> Oft, your not welcome here
<Oft> bullshit
<Oft> they all want me here
<Carcer> Steck, you have no right to say whether or not he's welcome here
<Steck> Really?
<Steck> Why not?
<Carcer> Because this isn't your channel, you douchebag?
<Steck> How about, this is my IRC network
Steck is ~Steck@netadmin.neverwinterconnections.com * Steck
<Carcer> Yeah.
<Carcer> That would be a good reason for him not to be welcome here.
<Oft> I could take you with one hand
<Steck> Still want to argue Carcer?
<Carcer> Ugh, I need to start reading hostmasks.
#41000
<Rogue> A few weeks ago my youngest came running out of the bedroom, using his underwear as a gun holdster, pulled out the gun, shot me with the little suction cup thing, then said "Gimme your money". Tell me that isn't a smart kid. It kills his victim before robbing them. Less of a struggle.
<frostyfx> wow you are a good father
Comment: #ug/irc.alternatenet.net
#51987
DrakeChun: Thank God for apt-get
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: It truly is a gift from God.
thetguy01: "And on the Tenth Day, God said: LET THERE BE APT-GET! And so it was."
DrakeChun: The Tenth Day, 3 after he rested
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: The other two days were him trying to get linux to run.
#75676
[Pk] well on aol they just let me click on whatever smiley i wanted. this website is too complicated
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#13655
<MrCoulomb> ok, i'm taking out the 3 of spades, and reinsert it into a random point
<MrCoulomb> and i assure you, it is random
<MrCoulomb> I'm now shuffling the cards
<MrCoulomb> and it's a real shuffle too
<MrCoulomb> Now.. I cut the deck.
<MrCoulomb> and there is your card
<MrCoulomb> the 3 of spades
<MrCoulomb> found instantly within a randomly shuffled deck
<Mort-Hog> How did you do that?..
#33421
<Kosta> oh this will be fun
<Kosta> here's some records that I know for a fact are in my car
<Kosta> The Clash -- London Calling
<Kosta> Brahms 3rd and 4th (Berlin, von karajan...)
<Kosta> 2 eminem records
<Kosta> Yes -- The Yes Album
<Kosta> Toy Dolls -- Greatest hits or anthology or whatever it's called
<Kosta> Rush -- Chronicles
<Kosta> Bob Marley -- Legend
<Kosta> A -- um... whatever their record is called
<Kosta> Massive Attack -- the gray one
<Kosta> um
<Kosta> Oingo Boingo -- boingo alive
<Kosta> oh that's not the title
<Kosta> I can't remember the title, but the Cd cover is gray
<Kosta> or grey
<Kosta> the score to Glory
<Kosta> Doobie Brothers
<Kosta> greatest hits
<Kosta> James Taylor, greatest hits
<Kosta> Carol King -- Tapestry
<Kurt> sell your car
Comment: Kosta writes film music for a living
#413
<Dr_DOS> i'd go straight into the army if they allowed IRC on weekends.
#23705
<elitotaco> why did i get kicked
<tarvuz> powertrips
* tarvuz was kicked by LordCrank (no powertrips.)
#310229
< wushin> your art is very good
< bagzie> I hate it more and more each day
< wushin> that just means you're an artist
#7458
<loathe> CF 5 is way way better
<dev0n> way way better than what? a hand job from your mom?
#7025
<skychic> how do you exit channels?
<anarch> use /quit
*** skychic has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving)
<anarch> heheh
*** skychic has joined #lummies
<CrashCat> hmm, you must have missed a parameter
<CrashCat> try /quit #lummies
<skychic> cheers!
*** skychic has quit IRC (Quit: #lummies)
#40615
<dani> im cold! *goes to get blanket*
<caz> I'M A DONKEY! *goes to get psychiatric help*
#19596
<Q> Verily I say unto thee: Whomsoever quoth "I am a hottie" on the internet, doth lie unto thee.
#138095
<Ace_NoOne> I now believe that the Wikipedia folk assassinate people so they can be the first to report their deaths
#295497
<ilanbg> I have never heard either of those phrases used
<celeste> black people say "he's my boy"
<ilanbg> black people don't say that
<celeste> uh yeah they do
<ilanbg> you don't even know any black people!
<celeste> yes i doooo
<ilanbg> name one
<celeste> i don' tknow his name : (
#9684
<darw> where did they drop the hiroshima bomb?
#47292
<sleepwlkr> Oh gosh, I met a really annoying Yankee bitch a moment ago at Rautatientori Square. She and her family were looking for a restaurant where they could get decent meat. First I thought I'd guide them to a good eating place, but that stupid cow complained about everything all the time and specified what the restaurant SHOULDN'T be like, so I told the whole family the way to a gay bar and said "Only the best for the lady".
<sleepwlkr> I just had to go to a pub opposite the gay bar for a beer and see their faces when they come out
<sleepwlkr> Well the bitch was yelling at her husband whose face had turned red with anger. Their kids seemed to be just laughing at the incident :-)
<sleepwlkr> Now I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't bring my camera with me.
Comment: Translated from Finnish to English.