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#20808
<[FMa]Brick> just teh first time?
<[NTAC]Crazzeh_Timmeh> just for now
<[FMa]Brick> let my b/f pull out first
#10665
HolyViper7: it could be worse :P
Ebyan: It could be better
HolyViper7: everything could be better
Ebyan: everything could be worse
HolyViper7: not oprah
HolyViper7: she cant get any worse.
#96
<VIVI> Xbox already has the following games:
<VIVI> Microsoft Word
<VIVI> Microsoft Excel
<VIVI> Solitaire
#28680
larry <AUTO-REPLY> : sleeping so i can go to harlem 2morrow before werk... if im not at work by 12ish... call for NYPD help... code 412... white boy lost in harlem
#302747
<@ETJ> iTunes handles new computers in the stupidest way possible.
<@ETJ> Instead of saying "Oh. This is an iPod. Here, let me move all that shit onto here for you and duplicate your playlists so that you wont have to redo them."
<@ETJ> It says "Fuck you."
#10236
<etch:#unix> i don't like unix or any of you either
#34532
<ron_frown> oh god... this guy comes in and talks to my boss about why his phone doesnt ring loud
<ron_frown> so my boss opens it up and ends up frying the mobo
<ron_frown> I throw a new mobo in there and it rings the same volume
<ron_frown> ends up the dipshit had a sticker over his ringer and it severly muted it
<ron_frown> something that could have been a 5second fix
<ron_frown> took a day, and cost him a mobo which was like 30
Comment: #php
#45668
<%Ebola> My last job was in CSR with a very small re-sale phone co. Once a month we were all expected to make collection calls to customers who were late with their payment. After several attempts one day to a particular number, a lady finally answered. Me: May I speak to ___ (customer's name)? Lady: He's not here. Me: This is ___, with ___Phones, your phone company. I am calling to remind you that your phone bill was due on the 5th and is in danger of
<%Ebola> being disconnected. Can you tell me when you will be able to pay it? Lady: .... How did you get this number? It's unlisted. Me: *blink*... Ma'am? This is the phone company. We GAVE you this phone number!
Comment: #netroNet on irc.netronet.com
#230058
<+Rictoo> CAN U DO THIS WITH SHORT HAIR
<GoneFishing> yes
<GoneFishing> caps lock is functional to anyone with a keyboard, long hair or not
#51129
([LH]Neil|Work) the worst thing about audio programming: the possibility of deafening yourself
([LH]Neil|Work) just got a 440Hz tone at pretty much full volume from my headphones
([LH]Neil|Work) my ears are ringing now
(Silex) you got an A for that
(Silex) ;)
#310394
<&Orillion> All my lines are under the GNU public license
<&Orillion> Feel free to interpret and rewrite them as you like
<&Orillion> I know my girlfriend does
#38705
* chupachipmunk touches his heart... area
* TallestSilver tries to touch her heart area, but smacks her boob instead
<TallestSilver> Ow....
<chupachipmunk> Hah
* chupachipmunk can touch his chest without hitting boob
<TallestSilver> FUCKIN' BOOBS! I'LL TEACH YOU TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!
* TallestSilver slices off her breasts with a rusty dagger and tosses them away
* chupachipmunk hand Silver some hydrogen peroxide
<Lucifer> yknow, that reminds me of something...
<Lucifer> you've all heard of the Amazons, right?
<chupachipmunk> They are the ancient all-female race who patented one click shopping
#56157
(+tfg) I wonder how far my punto could tow a caravan
(gez) nowhere without being illegal, otherwise anywhere downhill
(+tfg) how would it be illegal?
(gez) your licence wont cover it
(+tfg) wrong
(+tfg) as long as it's under 3 tonne I'm sorted
(gez) you sure?
(+tfg) I can drive a car + trailer up to a combined mass of 3500KG
(gez) who the fuck tows anything over 3 tons?
(Jani) aeroplanes weigh over 3 tonnes
(gez) true
(gez) i must remember not to tow mine to school tomorrow
(Jani) gonna fly it instead?
#314
<WhiteAWAY> someone told me trance music makes you sterile
#38676
<utopian> what's a corny pick up line to pull on a hot asian chick with a quakecon t-shirt
<Moridin_> does this smell like chloroform to you?
Comment: #geekissues
#29996
<@Rad_the_Hedgehog> !seen Jesus
<@DPI> Jesus is on the channel right now (as Ron) !
<+Ron> Oh my dad, I've been discovered.
#1088
<homerj> damn
<homerj> it's hotter then the devil's dick in a pair of heated speedos here
#103771
FrierT: when life gives you lemons, ask life if it knows its supporting underage farming labour in several tropical countries.
#54895
<HotStud> what i want is for you to stop screwing with my head and start screwing with my dick!
<ingenue> Okay, box it up and mail it USPS, and my girlfriend and I will give it a try.
<ingenue> Oh, wait, what size battery does it take? 'Cos I think my AA are all dead.
<HotStud> ...
<HotStud> goddam lezbo
<HotStud> you just haven't had the right man, then youd learn that there are some things a chick just can't do
<ingenue> You know, that could work for you, too...
#25516
<kisama_> THANK YOU WIGGLY
<kisama_> I <3 YOU
<Swish> you "less than three" him?
<kisama_> please.
<kisama_> it's an emoticon...turn your head sideways kthx
<kisama_> i thought you were hardcore.
<Swish> apparently not that hardcore.
<Swish> but I guess it depends if you're left or right handed.
<kisama_> well E> is flat
<Swish> it could be a mean, hateful face with evil eyebrows...
<Swish> or it could be some broken-assed glasses with a mischevous smirk.
<kisama_> OR IT COULD BE A HEART
<kisama_> LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SEES IT AS
<kisama_> weirdo.
#2396
(`zero) ,__ FISH RULE AT DICKSUCKING
(`zero) | `'. / BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE
(`zero) __ |`-._/_.:---`-.._ / TO STOP TO BREATHE
(`zero) \='. _/..--'`__ `'-._
(`zero) \- '-.--"` === / o `',
(`zero) )= ( .--_ | _.' (HURF DUH GILLS)
(`zero) /_=.'-._ {=_-_ | .--`-.
(`zero) /_.' `\`'-._ '-= \ _.'
(`zero) jgs ) _.-'`'-.. _..-'`
(`zero) /_.' `/";';`|
(`zero) \` .'/
#11322
<RunninRaven> I don't think I have once asked Jeeves a damn thing
<moestavern19> I asked him once where i could find some kick-ass porn
<RunninRaven> What did he say?
<moestavern19> he said kickassporn.com
#5876
<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"
#309095
<nicks> you are going to invent a new microblogging platform
<nicks> where you can only send 20 characters per message
<Haz> twitter lets you get too complete of thoughts through you've got to really condense it to get the core of the message
<||bass> 20 bytes
<||bass> and it's all 32bit unicode
<||bass> and null terminated
<||bass> which gives us 4 characters
<||bass> so pretty much limits you to short sentences in chinese
<nicks> I can communicate a lot with four characters
<nicks> damn
<nicks> crap
<nicks> fuck
<nicks> shit
<nicks> piss
<||bass> dude
<||bass> stop
#128138
<Options> well, guess my parents dont want me playing phoenix wright in the house anymore :(
<Sylon[DMS]|Around> throw your DS in their face and yell OBJECTION!
<Options> that is....AN AWESOME IDEA