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#301827
<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
#20987
[21:13] (@KOLDSTARE): I was informed this is a rich part of town
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): wore my leather jacket to dinner and I got stared at
[21:14] (@KOLDSTARE): its not like I ripped it off a cow and stuck a zipper on it
#167250
<an0n> If I ever find out someone has an inflatable love doll, I'm going to steal it and leave a note like "i've tried to make it work, Steve, but all you care about is yourself. What about MY needs? You treat me like a piece of meat, just here to fuck and cast aside. You've really let me down... :,("
#23966
(Apocalypz) you know ive got a pretty crazy fantasy
(Apocalypz) when i get a gf, and im about to sex her
(Apocalypz) im gonna make her say
(Apocalypz) ROOT ME
(Apocalypz) that would own.
#301550
<ryg> some architectures seriously make you want to staple your palm to your face to save yourself a lot of effort
#30410
<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH
#25054
<drunkers> some thief tried to break into my apt :(, so i swung an xbox controller at him and he took off
#154860
<BOBNESS> you'll never in a million years guess what happened and thats pretty sad
<@Calisc> you got laid
<BOBNESS> my hint was too good
#2216
--- Topic for #celebs-n-models is <@YoGuRT_> beer just had his first Duck Job..how ya feel? <@Beercaps> same as before
<Digested> heh
<Digested> wtf is a duckjob?
<Beercaps> its bj from julia roberts
#205994
Karl(10:34):hey, i'm after a little business advice. do you think it's ok to add the line "pay up you worthless mother*****" to the end of my statements to overdue clients?
Anika (10:47):Yes, that's standard business practice. I also add "All y'all niggaz be trippin if yuh try and play a playah, y'all end up dining on a bullet." That's actually legally binding.
#8455
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??
#16524
<[0FXTCJ|U> are you excited now?!?!?!
<[0FX|nw> yeah
<[0FXTCJ|U> do you have an erection?!
<[0FX|nw> no
<[0FX|nw> hmm
<[0FX|nw> ¨cant say this in english
<[0FX|nw> i tooked my hand on my cock and drew forwards and backwards
<[0FX|nw> what do u call it?
<[0FXTCJ|U> jacking off?
<[0FX|nw> oh
<[0FX|nw> in sweden we call it runka
#101461
<Rendrag> just remember your car actually has to stop at stop signs
<Rendrag> my driving teacher only told me my wheels must stop rotating
<Rendrag> i took her at her word
<Rendrag> and slid it round the corner onto the main street at 60 with all four wheels locked up
<LDM> hahahahahaha, Nice one.
<Rendrag> needless to say i had to sit my test a second time :)
#38807
< x136> !8ball --help
<@ChanServ> x136: In your dreams.
#4026
*** crunchybl has joined #xml
<crunchybl> anyone know xml in here
#16509
<yesyouam> marijuana and unix permissions don't mix
#122198
<bustatunez> it's like that couple from the folk tale
<bustatunez> where the woman buys her husband like a penisring, and the husband makes a necklace for her by cutting off his penis
<bustatunez> or something, I forget
<bustatunez> the point was that christmas fucks you up
#295506
PartyGirl1450981: so I was watching this porn, right?
PartyGirl1450981: and I was really getting into it
PartyGirl1450981: and then I found out it was actually two guys fucking
PartyGirl1450981: then I came
PartyGirl1450981: does this make me gay?
GoKillPeople: Yes.
GoKillPeople: ...What are you doing tonight?
#53469
<pip> my stepdad hit my mom once and I nearly cut his balls off.
<pip> that was the best new years ever
#146217
<Kefka> FAT32
<Kefka> That's what file system my body uses
<Kefka> :(
#50466
<Shifter> fucking stupid bitch cunt whore skank peice of shit driver
<Shifter> some stupid bitch somes down my street, not realizing its a dead end
<Shifter> shes driving a fucking ford earth destroyer 2007
<Shifter> she goes to make a 3 point turn, realizes she cant without going over the curb
<Shifter> she just decides to drive up on my fucking yard and tear up my fucking grass
<Shifter> when she saw me on the front porch smoking a cig, she gave me one of those bitchy shrugs, and drove off.
<Shifter> god damnit i hate people.
#55298
<ChibiDazzy|SH> Time to finally finish Sonic Herpes.
<ChibiDazzy|SH> ...
<ChibiDazzy|SH> . . . . .
<ChibiDazzy|SH> dude
<Zero7> ...
<Zero7> XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
* Zero7 falls out of chair
<ChibiDazzy|SH> thats awesome.
<Zero7> GREATEST. TYPO. EVER.
<Proth> XDDDD
<CtrlAltDestroy> Sonic Herpes? That was so totally intentional.
<ChibiDazzy|SH> O and P are right by each other
<ChibiDazzy|SH> its an easy mistake
<CtrlAltDestroy> Oh.
#3812
ù MrP- slaps AlterAFK around a bit with his slapping thingy
#12151
* @Pretsel wants a little robot which will clean floors and vacumn rooms :/
<Mad-Cow> You can get them
<@Pretsel> Yeah but I'd imagine they'd be expensive :D
<Mad-Cow> It'll cost you a few million but you can get em
<@Pretsel> Woah Woah... I don't want a wife...
#1625
<TasmBoy> does anyone have the source code to windows?