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#6500
-^cell^- how fast is your processor?
«tylor» 56k
#58677
<Crist> guyds i need u to help me
<Crist> my roomate glured my hannds to my mouse and desk'
<Crist> fuckrs ive been stuk herre for a hour
<Hoopaw> how the fuck are you typing?
<Crist> my nosea wttf explai ns my baad typuing
<Hoopaw> noted
#26266
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
#3828
<Sylffor> I prefer "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon" or "yogurt slinger"
<nitrifik_> ok. Sylffor knows too many colorful synonyms for 'dick'.
* Sylffor is a homosexual, remember?
<nitrifik_> you being gay is fine.
<nitrifik_> I draw the line at "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon".
#40487
<SpazMatt> gah i just realized my zipper was down but the sad thing is I noticed when my dog was eyeing my pants
#14201
slightlypissed : I once got hit on by an old man when I was leaving a cicuit city :(
sourgirldaisey : hahahah
sourgirldaisey : did you get his number?
sourgirldaisey : :)
slightlypissed : no, I kinda just walked faster
#31949
<Riley> We used to telnet uphill both ways in the snow and we LIKED IT!
#1486
<aorie> shit slashdot STILL down
<MrP-> yeah, im crying now
<MrP-> whats wrong with it?
<aorie> this sucks
<aorie> this totally fucked up my day heh
<MrP-> me too
<MrP-> some girl asked me if i wanted to have sex with her all day, but i said "after i read slashdot"
<MrP-> GOD DAMNIT!
#311581
<dysk> I began experiencing an unintended consequence ever since I put a lot of my old crappy MIDI music on SoundCloud.
<YelseyKing> ...what?
<dysk> Random people have been liking specific songs and following me, for an incredibly stupid reason.
<YelseyKing> Oh noes. People *like* your music? Dreadful.
<dysk> They have automated bot-type abilities to search for, and like, absolutely any song with specific words in the title, regardless of the song's content.
<YelseyKing> Oh. Hah. Dumb bots.
<dysk> Stupidest thing I've ever heard.
<YelseyKing> Yeah.
<dysk> So I have a few songs with the word "Party" in the title. I get notifications from out of nowhere about these accounts that like my "Party" songs, so I'm curious about these accounts and look them up. They also like tens of
thousands of other songs and audio files with "Party" in the title, from disco to hip-hop to political rallies.
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> Bots are so dumb.
<dysk> I tell you, nothing gets a dance floor moving quite like a Bob Dole speech from 1996.
<YelseyKing> Oh yes.
#299591
<Reznor> I feel like a tool because I just ironed my shoelaces.
#7966
(CitizenC): I spilled my ashtray all over my computer earlier today.
(CitizenC): Son of a bitch.
(CitizenC): Took forever to clean up.
(CitizenC): At least I don't have to empty my ashtray now.
#6322
ted: woman plus invisible man = the perfect porn
craig: Actually, woman + visible woman is the perfect porn, but this is a close second.
#300112
[kris] Hey, roomie... you know that "oh fuck" moment when you realize you have to go to the ER?
[grego] Yeah, ... ???
[kris] Grab you car
#444
<SYch0> >>> Spelling error in digdug. Suggestions:
<SYch0> uiu 1. lamer
#11348
<@Ryu> I remember when I was watching a porn on a tape I received from my friend, and I start wacking off to the lesbians on the TV... Then all of a sudden right when I was about to cum, the tape stopped and it was TeleTubbies on the TV instead. I cummed, and I cried.... i'm not joking.
#56678
* Quietus is now known as BruceLee
<BruceLee> Now someone change to JackieChan so we can have a karate match.
<KamiKaziGames> ...k
* KamiKaziGames is now known as JackieChan
* JackieChan has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by BruceLee)))
<BruceLee> K/O
#22291
<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE than weed
#3230
<NtG> you know theres one thing I love about the internet
<NtG> theres such a multitude of repulsive fat ugly chick pictures
#39250
*** {in_a_game]LawOfDisorder (~hey@237.153.33.65.cfl.rr.com) has joined #doom3fortress
<{in_a_game]LawOfDisorder> anyone know how to bypass the CD requirement ??
<{in_a_game]LawOfDisorder> my cdrom is screwin up
<{in_a_game]LawOfDisorder> that or the game is
<ninja> or you didnt buy it
*** {in_a_game]LawOfDisorder (~hey@237.153.33.65.cfl.rr.com) has left #doom3fortress
Comment: #doom3fortress on GameSurge
#49861
ec0 R 1: i just LOVE spending money
suburbia37: but hopefully you'll be making it back in spades
ec0 R 1: whatever that means... lol
suburbia37: right now i'm picturing people throwing shovels at you
#52504
<^Spike^> I had my first character censored on City of Villains
<@Stumpy> whyfor?
<^Spike^> They did not appreciate 'Captain Coathanger the Abortionist'
<^Spike^> (He had pirate hooks for hands!)
Comment: He's going to hell one day...
#297991
<nim> I remember having to rma classified harddrives when I was in the navy :P
<nim> it was like
<nim> nim> yeah, your hdd's broke
<nim> dell> ok ship them back
<nim> nim> can't, they are classified
<nim> dell> ?!?!
<nim> eventually dell agreed to let me keep the platters
<nim> and just ship them the case
<nim> and the motor
#180107
<@manda> Foxhill has a one track mind
<Foxhill> manda it is not one track!
<Foxhill> it's multi-track
<Foxhill> sure they all go to the same destination
<Foxhill> but some routes are prettier
<Foxhill> others are more direct
<Foxhill> so show us yer tits
#11343
<@FoX> for the record
<@FoX> she never cybered me
<@FoX> i cybered her
<@FoX> :D
<@FoX> oh yeh....did i forget to mention i kept gettign the message no such Nick/Channel
#12111
< Ammon > i rememeber that dare where i had to stick that tampon in my ass. it hurt for a minute but then i got aroused