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#31531
<[J|F]> It's freaky when porn has good stereo sound, it feels like I forgot to turn off my speakers and everyone can hear.
<[J|F]> oh shit.
#288157
sietoba: sorry i did that thing wheres you say one thing but youre thinking of a mother
#10469
<hep> husbands girlfriend EXTREMELY annoying
<Ach|medicated> damn husbands, and their whiny girlfriends!
<Ach|medicated> (number 37 of The Big List of Things You Never Expected to
Say)
#17945
<Iggz> screw it
<Iggz> i'm gonna put this cottage cheese on my sandwhich
<Iggz> and no ones gonna stop me
#6651
<Kron-Away> iam an accountant
<Kron-Away> 1,2,3,5,6,9,10
<Mr_Squidgy> kron what comes after 10 :P
<Kron-Away> my 15%
#45533
<@D1-> so I got to walmart to get some fish oil supplements
<@D1-> and I see this dude who looks 10 times nerdier than me picking up a box of condoms right next to me
<@D1-> and man did that not feel right. ;[
Comment: #geekissues
#50161
<Infer|NHS> Oh shite, guess I'm not applying to NHS.
<pr0fessor> why?
<Infer|NHS> Didn't read forms, need references.
<Infer|NHS> Due first thing tomorrow. So it goes.
<CiA10386> You could just make them up! :-D
<CiA10386> Put me down as an international documtarist and war corrospondant and when they call me up, I'll just start fucking screaming over the line and hang up.
#304729
ned: wifi on the acela is so fucking gay
ned: i cant load gmail
Rabbi-Work: wow ned
Rabbi-Work: maybe you could say it's "ineffective" or "disfunctional" instead of using gay as a pejorative
ned: wifi on the acela is so fucking dysfunctional
BONUS: im ineffective and disfunctional and take offense to people using ineffective and disfunctional as a pejorative
#64822
[DAY] Trinexx: I saw the most awesome Windows error today: "A malicious program has attempted to shut down Windows. As a precaution, Windows was shut down."
#29205
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
#2935
<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny
#5026
<myles> i wonder if i talk to my marijuana it will make it grow faster
#125661
<@DJ> Oh man.
<@DJ> I got so excited.
<@DJ> I saw Pokemon the First Season on sale.
<@DJ> And almost bought it.
<@DJ> Then I remembered I was 18.
#299
<Guilty> Dont you know, if theres a hot white chick on a show, she invariably ends up with the "sweet, but rugged" black thug
<Guilty> It's an FCC regulation
#32106
<tinglanchio> kthx
<tlozoot> ok frmo now on don't respond with just "word" or "kthx" beacuse I have to read this stuff
<tlozoot> and when you respond the background goes black and I can't read it
<tlozoot> k????//
<tinglanchio> okay
<tlozoot> very funny asshole.
<tinglanchio> word
#42161
<masteralpher> I WILL RAPE YOUR ANOS FAT BITCH
<masteralpher> STOP IMING ME
<arahi`jr> and cut
<arahi`jr> ok lets go back over that
<arahi`jr> this time spell anus right
<arahi`jr> and action
<masteralpher> send me your pic and i wont to rape your anus then
<arahi`jr> ok cut. brilliant, this time with a little more emotion. maybe all caps again, go back to that. that was working.
<arahi`jr> and roll film
<arahi`jr> action
#1774
<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction
#19204
<@vaL_> damn... this cute girl came home woohoo
<@patsfan12> home?
<@patsfan12> your home?
<@patsfan12> neighbor?
<@vaL_> yeah
<@vaL_> nah, she was my cousin :(
#15224
<Reiko> girl who sit on judges lap, get honorable discharge
#31343
<funk> \o/ <-- person in posession of pie
#8727
<Afterglow> I remember when i was leaving for university my brother told me, "If you come back a goth I'll kill you".
<Jon_R> my brother just said "If you come back I'll kill you"
<Linguica> my brother said "come on my back or i'll kill you"
#5317
<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned
#298648
< Dave2> h*tp://www wristbands.co.uk/wristbands-textag.htm is the bands, fwiw
< amee2k> wtf? they have wristbands that you crimp onto your arm?
< amee2k> i'd feel like a piece of ethernet cable if they did that on my arm :P
< PeanutHorst> you mean you don't feel like a piece of ethernet cable normally?
< fow> I don't. I only have one male end. I'm actually okay with that.
#17172
* C|3avag3 has quit IRC (Quit: Wh0 Am |? U sure u wanna know? If somebody told u i was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied! This is my gift! It is my curse! Who am |? |'m Spider-Man!!!)
<Seaker> And lamest quit message of the day goes to C|3avag3
* Att|tude^ has quit IRC (Quit: I can't go on, I know not what to do, My heart is worn, I feel as If I'm through, Please believe in me. 'Cause what I need is for you.... To believe in me.)
<Seaker> Woah, tough competition today ... I think today we'll have to call it a draw.
* Love-snack has quit IRC (Quit: Quit playing games with my heart cause baby you're breaking my heart , I LOVE YOU FOREVER XXX)
<Seaker> *DING DING* WE HAVE A WINNER!!
#88
<Infe> but if i ever hit a deer with my car i'll be damned if i don't try to finish it off, i'll need the food after all my money is fixing the car#@$#@