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#2133
<Kashan> I think we should circumsize horses so they look prettier in the porn videos
#30510
<Dilbert> if i press in on my bellybutton real hard, i feel a tingling in my penis
Comment: #dcemu - irc.cheatlist.com
#311531
<pflanze> in any case, I can see why you changed your userid from ``bigassniggaonascooterdrinkingcaprisun`` before launching the business
#19872
<raz> i'd have to take off the valves, replace the fuel pump
<raz> flush the engine out, take the heads off, order the new lines
<raz> the spring pressure is going to be hard to handle in my garage
<raz> i'm not sure which new fuses i would need, so i'd have to look that up
<raz> besides that, i haven't used a blow torch in a while and not sure which ends to taper off
<guyen> dude it's a fuckin' oil change
#7683
<Spyder-> AOL also sucks
*** Carnevil_ has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Carnevil_[ACA7C955.ipt.aol.com])
#18612
<dragondyne> Everdraed: lets play some tetris motherfucker
<`Frieza> DD what version of tetris motherfucker do you have?
#6885
<rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
<rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
<rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
<rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
<rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
<rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal passage
<rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL
#138027
Ganon: That magnet in the finger idea sounded really awesome, minus the idea of getting some sort of poisoning from the rare-earth metals
Gayo: oh oh dude
Gayo: What if you were a woman and you had MAGNETIC BREAST IMPLANTS.
Katt: I guess that would make you really attractive
Ganon: ...
#302240
< arke> not even my computer loves me
< Antonio8> is it a dual core ? maybe it has a split personality
#38848
<remisser> Man... I really have to walk in to Condomworld and see what kind of people work there.
<comet_11> they're probably dicks
#3286
*** Quits: MediArc (i am the lover in your bed)
<roded> i'm going to bed
#21841
<Darien> I'm trying to decide how to ask Kristen out
<Darien> should I go the 'I was thining of catching a movie, wondered if...' route
<Darien> or the 'We need to go to a movie, like tonight.' route
<Darien> or what?
<dsalkjdsa> first of all, you need to start it off with 'bitch'
<dsalkjdsa> THEN you say ssomething strong and pushy, bitches like that
<Darien> yeah
<Darien> that's true'
<dsalkjdsa> bitch, get in my car, we're going to a dinner and movie; by dinner i mean we're going to have sex, and by movie i mean we're going to tape it.
<dsalkjdsa> oohh yeahhh.
<dsalkjdsa> something like that :)
#56387
<papasurf> how do i use irc to search for and download legitimate materials?
#1383
<Guilty> Thank god I'm sensible and had myself neutered
#10464
<Mand> If I had to be an x-men, i'd be Gambit.
<Ithaqua> I thought you WERE an ex-man.
#23106
<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you had cousins as hot as mine."
#28315
<Dru> been going strong for like 20 minutes
<Velcro_> the viagra's helping eh?
<Dru> yeah like i need drugs to keep a constant hard on
<Quorthy> viagra is for ppl without usenet access
<Quorthy> & usenet is for ppl without vagina access
#25228
<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF
#35977
<pasi> do people there usually eat the college/uni or at home?
<FJ> i don't usually try to eat my college.
<FJ> its a huge building, i expect it'd damage my teeth, too
#69682
<nobd> i was just playing hide and go seek with my fish
<nobd> he won
<rolib> You? Outsmarted by a fish? I couldn't imagine.
#17301
<Claus> I sell children to old women
<Claus> and they stuff them up their uterus
<Isajeep> oh my god
#307755
<Black_Prince> I haven't left house for 7 days now!
<Black_Prince> :D
<AdmiralA> oh great, people are bragging about not going outside like it's uptime now
<AdmiralA> $ indoors
<AdmiralA> 21:40 not seen light in 2 days, 6:39, 3 meals, kcal averages: 0.23 0.13 0.09
#14524
<Taze> "LEGOLAS PANTS AS HE FILLS YOUR SHAKING LOVE TUNNEL WITH HIS LONG ELVEN ROD"
* Scibert blinks.
<Scibert> "Love tunnel?"
<arenotelicon> yes Sci.
<arenotelicon> this is why porn stories scare me.
<Scibert> Since when did the human body turn into an amusement park ride?
<arenotelicon> we're not sure.
<arenotelicon> sometime after porn was invented.
#10918
<Iluvatar> 217.136.168.137
<The_Cat> ?
<Iluvatar> guess who's address that is
<The_Cat> HOW DID YOU GET MY IP ????
* The_Cat kicks his useless firewall
#55636
(mistik): Well, it being valentines day and all, i've scheduled a date with my hand tonight. :p
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): I have a date with Myra
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): Myra Hand
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): And her Asian friend, Lo Shen
(Deranged): Then her friend Tish Shu will clean up the mess afterwards.