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#10979
<Dryzzid{SAS}> OOOOOW
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I just sat on my nuts :(
* Jaedra stares at Dryzz
<Jaedra> dude...
<Dryzzid{SAS}> What? I sat down the wrong way..
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I crushed one :(
#38313
<Goatroper> theres a good chance im gonna drop in the next coupla minutes.
<Goatroper> dont know if my neighbor's wifi reaches to the bathroom :/
<Goatroper> wifi DOES reach into the bathroom
<Goatroper> :)
<Surye> taking a shit?
<OL1V3R> does that mean .. you're like .. taking a crap .. bow?
<OL1V3R> now *
<Goatroper> no
<Goatroper> i had to come in here to use the printer
<Goatroper> but i also had to piss
Comment: #datamachine@irc1.datamachine.net
#52788
<zien> ah i love water. it's like nature's fruit juice.
<cgom> ....FRUIT JUICE is nature's fruit juice. moron.
#297665
<Strengths> I have this huge zit on the side of my nose :/
<subcontinental> Paint it gold or silver and it'll look like a peircing
<Strengths> that's ... brilliant!
#34712
<@Joe> OMG - forgot the wife
<@Joe> my clock never changed
<@Joe> brb
Comment: Daylight savings time.
#29243
<sir haides> you wanna know what i did?
<sir haides> you're going to _love_ this.
<hile> sure
<sir haides> i inserted an Aqua cd.
<sir haides> the band.
<sir haides> Aqua crashed my mac.
<sir haides> fucking ironic.
<sir haides> ain't it?
#29047
<wangschlong> So i was walking by some house
<wangschlong> and some hot girl was staring at me from the house
<wangschlong> so i go closer and shes still staring at me
<wangschlong> it turns out
<wangschlong> IT WAS A FUCKING LAMP
#6369
<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs
<Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce
#7600
<OpsuPup> i just got some imaginary donuts, and they are fucking nice
<Xta-C> i just had imaginary sex, and it was disappointing
<bytraper> i just got some imaginary sex, and it was fucking nice
* Lord-Data thinks byt and xta just imaginarily slept together
#33380
<CapnWacky> Y'know how much exp I had to collect to be a LVL 43 pervert/LVL 12 Fag???
<CapnWacky> A lot, a fucking lot
Comment: #ehentai
#20471
<Ccmods> for what I'm creating, I'll need a length of duct tape, an avacado, and a tube sock.
<Ccmods> believe it or not, u can make a bong outta that
<Sean> i thought it was some sort of wanking implement
#33647
<anity> bbyyyeeee
<ZestyO> ok, have fun
<anity> in the bath?
<anity> hehe i'll try
<ZestyO> plenty of fun to be had in a bath
<anity> *gets out rubber duck*
<ZestyO> jesus christ I so mis read that...
<anity> hehhe i was thinking that...i super carefull typied duck
<ZestyO> hehe
<ZestyO> the u and i keys are right next to eachother
<anity> hehhehe yeh
<anity> or maybe the 'duck* was a typo
<anity> ull never know
<anity> hehehhehehe
<ZestyO> lol
<anity> heheh i'll soon see when i get in the bath
#35764
<chem> god
<chem> I asked this guy
<chem> to take a picture of his "drug stash"
<chem> so he sneds to me on AIM
<chem> AND HE SENDS ME 3 PICTURES OF HIS FUCKING DICK
<chem> jesus fucking christ
<chem> X.X
<soulbleed> hahaha
#28899
<blue09> i think i have proof that there is a god
<blue09> how else can you explain manowar?
<blue09> it's like a dnd playing motorcycle gang formed a metal band
#305962
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
#2552
<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"
#29205
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
#2391
<maff> you're such a sarcastabitch brett
<timmo`> if by sarcastic you mean sexy, then yes.
#15071
<cardinal> huh, a friend of mine pissed in his girlfriend's typewriter
<cardinal> under similar circumstances
<alayna> :blink:
<cardinal> drunk, needing to pee, didn't want to turn on the light, found
<cardinal> the "bathroom" door, found the "toilet", opened the lid,
<cardinal> pissed, couldn't find the flusher, went back to bed
<cardinal> discovered the next morning he'd opened the wrong door, and
<cardinal> found the typewriter, not the toilet, which explains the lack
<cardinal> of flush lever
<Deke> and the *ding* when he finished
<cardinal> all I could say when he told me the story was "Good thing it
<cardinal> wasn't a Selectric"
#118819
<averagjoe> Yup, that's the proverbial spewing-coffee-on-the-monitor
<LCkitten> Which proverb is that from?
<dianagram> I believe its from Starbucks 4:95
<JustWhoIAm> Is that from the "Book of Christ and Latte Day Saints"?
#53189
<Hajuu> Man I love it at my work when old ladies call me a gentleman... Makes me wanna fuck.
#40087
TechKO: I love my algebra book
TechKO: Q1. (12x4x^2)^6=15
TechKO: solve for y
#49724
<ihate_tuz> and where did you get this ridiculus idea that i hate you?
<_tuz> geee, i wonder.
#14102
<dphead> I think my cat is sick :(
<phunqe> Why?
<dphead> It's all twitchy and stuff...
<phunqe> I'm sure it's just lagged.
<phunqe> Check its fps.
#3887
<KNG_SNK> ok i was at work today
<KNG_SNK> and two ppl were missing...
<KNG_SNK> and this guy's office was locked
<KNG_SNK> but i knew there was someone in there... VERY quiet too
<KNG_SNK> so me and some buds went over to the next building
<KNG_SNK> to try to peek in
<KNG_SNK> and man... they were goin at it
<KNG_SNK> but we could clearly see humping action