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#2884
<Frag_> whats a good bench mark program?
<Ghaleon> Frag_: deltree /y c:\windows
<Ghaleon> the longer it takes, the slower your computer is
<Ghaleon> (ps, just a joke)
<Frag_> uh can i undo deltree?
#24627
<brad> i was hoping for a friendly windows way, but i guess i'll look at that
<brad> ...sadly
<brad> ...with puppy dog eyes
<obscurity> Do you plan to give them back to the puppy afterwards?
<brad> hell no
<blue> i spy, with my little eye.. eye pie!
<brad> he can come and take 'em from me
<brad> if he's puppy enough
#23982
Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't exactly an easy task. :D
dhn> dentist?
Gud> yeah
*** dhn hands Gud a straw
Gud> dhn: straw?
dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;)
#16292
<m00ks> ooop that almost wasn't a fart. Brb.
#4613
<SoulBain> I think my keyboard's unplugged.
#10793
<CrushWork> hes got that "im a barbarin caveman who eats snails and says ooga booga" style look to him
<Jed> "I'm a barbarian caveman that eats snails, says ooga booga and lays cable for a living"
#463
"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly,
flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to
intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."
The Chicago Times review of After Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.
#52767
anotherpadawan42: I just upgraded my web hosting and now have 408 megs of free space
QreepyBORIS: Ooooh
anotherpadawan42: Dude I nearly jacked off looking at the free space pie graph.
#31282
«Jordan` » Ah, the smell of crack smoke in the morning.
#4207
<eldeesux0r> i used to think lysol was a lice repellent
<eldeesux0r> one day i sprayed it in my hair before i went to school cuz they were doing lice checks
<eldeesux0r> i got a rash :|
#26422
<Fidel-> 1 kid sacrificed, in order to make 1 million gamers laugh
<Fidel-> i think its a fair trade
#46369
<blitzkrieg> I suggest finding a moving bus to tell all about it
<blitzkrieg> try standing in front of it to get its attention
Comment: #game_maker
#9119
<Mikado`> dammit
<Mikado`> I misspelled a l33t w3rd
<^cell^> u have brought shame to the l33t community
#296081
<urbex> neat....Niagara Falls is ~12,000 years old
<dopey> what was there 12,001 years ago?
<Bunsen> The interesting thing about Niagara Falls is the way it's been eating its way up the river over those tens of thousands of years.
<Bunsen> When it gets back to Lake Erie, it'll pretty much drain the lake and reduce it to the Erie River.
<niteshad> Bunsen: that'll suck for all those ports along Lake Erie, like Cleveland.
<dopey> niteshad: Not at all. It just means that cleveland can expand north like it has longed to do for ~12,000 years.
<Bunsen> niteshad: If we're not shipping goods in fusion-powered spacecraft by the time it happens, then we suck as a species and deserve the fate of having to build more Cleveland.
#3613
<SinbadTheSailor> hi hedge...are you on turps?
<Hedge> quite sober actually
<sTar69> sober like, just jammed my penis in the door kinda sober?
<Hedge> sober like i just got caught shoplifting a dildo kinda sober
<sTar69> oh THAT kind of sober ;)
<sTar69> i mean err what are you talking about?
#18386
<Nate`> i am a l33t script0r
<DaveMan|l33t> you do realize that autorejoin is a checkbox in mirc, right?
<Nate`> its is
<Nate`> damnit all
#47456
< teferi> I lost the office pool
< teferi> damn
<+res0> aww, no more swimming at work
#40297
<Rjx0r> long hair is kinda gay
<Rjx0r> especially on guys who have a feminine body
<Rjx0r> because sometimes you think
<Rjx0r> "hey, that chick has a nice ass"
<Rjx0r> and it turns around
<Rjx0r> and it's a spotty dude
<timmo> no thats just you rjx
<Rjx0r> I was hoping some of you would relate to that experience
<blueturtl> on your own there chum
<Rjx0r> damn
Comment: #geekissues
#53153
<+Durandal> you said you'd be right back
<+r0bin> yeah
<+r0bin> An hour an ten minutes is "right"
<+Durandal> ah
<+r0bin> Espescially since my average "bbl" is three to four months
<+Durandal> heh, that's for damn sure
<+r0bin> :P
<+Durandal> of course i've been known to disappear for a year
<+Durandal> or more
<@kefx> r0bin: haha
<+r0bin> Durandal: that's my "afk"
Comment: #metawire
#32843
(mUnky`) instead of putting in the softener *into my washing*, i put in a similar yellowish liquid - apple juice. ><
(mUnky`) MY FKN WASHING SMELLS LIKE APPLE JUICE!
(mUnky`) =X
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
(mUnky`) theyre in identical bottles
(mUnky`) they look a little the same
(mUnky`) and i was puttin the stuff in at 2am
(mUnky`) ><
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) good work man
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) how do they feel?
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) soft?
(mUnky`) theyre... ...... soft... a little
(mUnky`) but i smell like fkn apple juice!
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) "man where do u get your fabric softner" "oh u know, the juice isle"
(Doyle|gettingJAVAJAVAJAVAJAVAJ) HAHAHAHAH
Comment: mUnky had to rewash all his clothes.
#224117
<Scopes13mtg> Anybody know a good place to buy Russian singles online?
<Scopes13mtg> edit: To clarify, I am looking for Magic cards.
#57018
<lefter> anyways, long sorty short, she shoved 2 fingers in my ass
<celeste_> literally, or figuratively?
<lefter> literally
<lefter> i don't know how you would have 2 fingers figuratively put into ones ass
#36328
<`Nick> my screen name is AlQaeda Nick
<`Nick> i just use it so my mom cant IM me from work
#38306
< zYpurv> omg
< zYpurv> now i know what i am going to do with this property i'm gonna inherit
< zYpurv> a female-only apartment house for students
< zYpurv> of course
< Marax> with hidden cams
< zYpurv> and a 'private' pool on the roof
< Marax> and machineguns
< zYpurv> and a robot
< Marax> in case their really big boyfriends finds the cams
< zYpurv> nah i'll make the robot a sex toy and then they won't want boyfreinds anymore
Comment: Ahh, geek dreams....
#74294
< lucky> Okay.
< lucky> We're going to enter into a pact.
< lucky> I will not use :P again for the rest of the day :P
< lucky> that's 40 minutes for me.
< lucky> :P
< lucky> oh god
* lucky shoots himself.