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#32921
<Skizot> my boss is a moron
<Skizot> he walked in an i had left mirc open
<Skizot> he asked what it was...
<Berry2K> bussiness relations?
<Skizot> i told him a new support program by microsoft
<Berry2K> :)
<Berry2K> haha
<Skizot> he says" do i need it"
<RightField> lol
<Skizot> i told him no... it's for really techincal people and n00bs
<Berry2K> WTFLOL
<Skizot> he asks what's a n00b
<RightField> omg
<Skizot> i told him that's what they call microsoft programmers
#297420
<meph> gf just said "well im sooorrry i cant solve a rubiks cube in under 30 seconds"
<meph> then dumped me
#544
*** WindDrake has quit IRC (well, LadyDrake awaits. «~{Polaris IRC}~» v2.03 Alpha)
<|Ender|> ohh look Winds gonna go masturbate
<smcn> yeh, ladydrake is a weirdass name for a penis
#37276
<freedumb> He's the kind of person who will wind up paying for this first sexual-encounter at age 31, get frustrated in the middle, and kill himself
#294875
<Pyro> I turn on GTA IV
<Pyro> steal a police cruiser
<Pyro> and sit around and watch for traffic violations
<Pyro> then I pull them over
<Pyro> and shoot them in the face
<Chroder> i think that's the modern version of pulling-legs-off-frogs
<Chroder> you're gonna be a serial killer
#29540
<MiDGeT`> so its just irony i guess
<MiDGeT`> but cooler
<BrettyBoy> i hate ironing
#7391
<Kaff> the biker from the Village People died.
<Kaff> he died of lung cancer.
<Kaff> which just proves that getting a coq up the date will kill you in mysterious ways.
<Dane> kaff: no. you just misunderstood when the report said that he'd had too many fags.
<Kaff> haha
#27954
<WiLLSTiFF> I just have a small problem..
<[Piratez]> is that wut the ladies tell u
#45321
(%theProject) i have the urge to smack someone in the head right now
(%theProject) some guy was telling me he just noticed that chopin's sonata no. 2 in b-flat minor, the funeral march, sounds remarkably like the imperial march from star wars
(%theProject) well, yes, because that piece was the inspiration for john williams writing the imperial.
(17:28:03) (%theProject) the guy proceeded to shout "OMG CHOPIN RIPPED OFF STAR WARS"
(17:28:14) (%theProject) even though chopin died in EIGHTEEN-FORTY-SEVEN
Comment: #mess.be on irc.trueirc.net
#35843
* Akujin watches porn
<Akasha> aku are you ALWAYS watchin porn?
<Akujin> When your neighbor is a 21 year old chick who masturbates with the blinds open, then yes
Comment: irc.starfusion.org
#32058
<bobelina> bunny porn
<ZestyO> speaking of porn
<ZestyO> I need to download this video
<ZestyO> ...
<ZestyO> you didn't just hear that
Comment: #MxO
#295504
<Tommy> Colds are the devil!
<gian> Pseudoephedrine it up!
<gian> It's like not having a cold at all.
<Android> ...you should write slogans Gian
<gian> And if you're hard-up, you can refine it into meth.
<Android> ..nevermind
#309905
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "No One Cares. At All CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on
#53253
<Hoolibear:> What woman do you know that can shake her tits, ass, and cock at you all at once?
#1807
<Fry> Well my beard was a first commander in the Camanche Army !
<JDigital> ...
<JDigital> No he wasn't, Fry. You lied to impress us.
<Fry> Bah...I am ashamed...How did you catch me ?
<JDigital> You misspelt Commanche.
#4447
<Idioteq> shit.. the zombie processes have gone chaotic on my pull parity
<happy> flip the bits, STAT
<Yoinkster> you should also vi the slackware
<thirtyseven|IGOTHEADTODAY> I get the idea that you guys might be making this shit up.
#237243
<Poromenos> Getting a bill passed is like getting a story on the reddit frontpage, only in the Senate you're trying to get as many people to game the system as possible
<knight666> So Digg is a more accurate representation of the U.S. Senate?
#31826
<Dj|Work> If you don't have a console, the only thing you'll know of is MotoGP
<oPless> why does pizza just go straight through me ?
<chise`> I haven't had a cup of tea or hot chocolate in 2 days!
<Dj|Work> Quick! Non-sequiter boy! To the rescue!
#19298
<melvin> eggdrops are elite tools
<melvin> very easy fizi!
<melvin> in fact, I think you should do it
<melvin> lilo is elite
<FiZi> [ melvin ] Serious?
<melvin> why yes, would I lie to you in hopes that we could laugh at you because you fucked your computer up?
#30648
<MikeH> mike@thor:/usr/local/subway > ./configure --prefix=/root/stomach --sandwich=sweet-onion-chicken-tariyaki --length=footlong --bread=italian-herbs-and-cheese --with-onions --with-lettuce --with-pickles --with-tomatos --with-jalapeno-peppers --with-banana-peppers --with-mustard --with-mayonnaise --with-sweet-onion-sauce
<MikeH> make
<MikeH> make install
Comment: Im...sooo...hungry...
#32107
<tinglanchio> i can't imagine you making a mother's day card
<tlozoot> I didn't
<tlozoot> although this is mighty fun
<tlozoot> I got her some yahoo shit
<tlozoot> heh
<tinglanchio> how thoughtful
<tlozoot> I dont' think she was too thrilled
<tlozoot> oh well.
<tlozoot> I tried... ok, I didn't try
<tlozoot> whatever
#7247
<sylwia> I'm drawing black people
<sylwia> for a poster for my english class
<sylwia> I think I made tham too black
<sylwia> you can't really see their faces
#2938
<BlackDeth> man this sucks
<BlackDeth> why is it that all drugs make you lazy and useless
<BlackDeth> they should invent one that motivates you to do homework and shit
#310758
<BadSpoon> I keep thinking... if I were the guy who actually used all the lifehacks he found online, I'd be the most annoying guy in the world
#9101
<Hiryuu> "War, the musical!"
<Ten> "With Sean Connery as Iraq!"