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#37265
* ankleteeth looks for good pr0n
<Eldritch> tell me if you find any o_O
<Eldritch> good porn is like... 5 leafed clovers
#55144
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!"
#305736
<Keyla> we had a fun customer today who came in with a very detailed handwritten list of components for a computer he wanted us to build for him
<Keyla> core i5 or i7, 6-8 GB of ram (or maybe 12), 2 hard drives (he specifically requested no raid)
<Keyla> for word processing
<_habnabit> Maybe he wanted to use OOo
#16997
<Whooey> females jeans pockets are TINY
<Whooey> TTIIIIIIIIIINY
<Natasha> yes, they are
<amit> Whooey: females have a big flesh pocket to compensate
#308117
Baljem: BBC News Headline "'GPS brain cells' seen in pigeons"
Baljem: look, dipshits, it may come as a surprise
Baljem: but there are perfectly good methods of navigation that existed for quite some time before GPS
Baljem: so could we /please/ stop referring to anything to do with being able to fucking navigate as 'satnav' and 'GPS'? before I have to come and smack you around a bit? kthx
RS_Asleep: Baljem: Now they could use an iPhone and have always up-to-date information and the pigeon could use them 53 brain cells for something else! ;)
Baljem: impossible
Baljem: nothing with 53 or more brain cells would buy an iPhone in the first place ;)
#31335
<adem> on further contemplation, halle berry really isn't all that hot, is she?
*** You were kicked by d4n (who stole your hetrosexuality?)
#56361
AMPlifier47: I have so little room left on my computer
AMPlifier47: I tried to save a 200-character .txt file
AMPlifier47: and I did not have enough free space
AMPlifier47: I just deleted an empty folder to make room for it.
#4202
<kr0ss> some idiot on the radio said dildos are banned in alabama
<X-Spectre> dildos proably were banned like a hundred years ago with some dumb law and they haven't changed it yet
<CiXeL> cant ban broomstick handles
#7384
<Malicious> This NEC machine they're advertising... a 300 mhz P2 with 32 megs SDRAM and a 4.3 gig IDE harddrive
<Kythorn> thats like the same as a ferrari with no seats and a v2
<Malicious> Kyth: One that has a tendancy to overheat, mind you *P
#8648
<hakan> i asked this hot girl out, she said she just wanted to be pen pals
<hakan> and she dropped our class
<dr_rotcod> haha
<hakan> is that a good thing?
#3851
<shin_k> rez is great though
<shin_k> just because of how insane it is visually
<shin_k> and w/ a great sound system it will make you CRAP YOUR PANTS
<TURBOMEAT> I don't think I've flat out crapped my pants yet
<TURBOMEAT> but there may have been some subtle fecal leakage, yes
#1016
~ _raven is Away. [Reason: out. like a boner in sweat pants.]
#7136
* Rasputin found a student's share open on the network of 2.35 gigs of PR0n
<Rasputin> plus various movies and other crap
<Neep> Are you going to admin his ass or download it all?
<Rasputin> both, Neep. Both. :)
<Prior_Tuck> yes...but it could be illegal.
<Rasputin> What's illegal? I'm archving for possible er...administrative purposes
#311127
<danh> some super creepy dude has sat down at my table
<danh> im about to get stabbed
<l0de> are you at a coffee shop
<danh> yeah
<danh> 20 tables free... chose me!
<danh> he's not wearing any underwear
<danh> dont ask me how i know
#3840
[neckarse] well berret tesratr
[neckarse] wtf.. somone swapped my r and t...
#46638
<fr_gment> If "pro" is antonymic to "con," what is antonymic to "progress?"
<blarg> WTF is "con-gress?"
<blarg> Oh, wait...
#303682
<Rorschach> crispy is studying criminal justice. Just like all the strippers
<Crispy`> Rorschach: Great talking point when I need to get laid.
<Crispy`> We can role-play too
<Rorschach> haha
<Crispy`> We'll both be Detectives and we can try to solve the Case of the Missing Virginity.
<@AnthraX101> Just be careful you don't turn it into The Case of the Missing Period
<Crispy`> D:
<Crispy`> That'll turn into Case of the Missing Father.
#11427
<DannyBoy> Hey CB, do you have any old website interface templates laying around that you have no use for? =8)
<Cowboy_w3rk> er
<Cowboy_w3rk> <html><body>insert content</body></html>
<Cowboy_w3rk> there ya go
<DannyBoy> wonderful
<DannyBoy> hey, that looks like shit
#150317
Neko: how long has it been since i've seen you?
Rawr: since December 9th
Neko: dammit i wanted you to do the math and tell me how many weeks
Rawr: three weeks, three days?
Neko: oh good thank you
Rawr: why, is someone asking you?
Neko: no
Neko: i was bleeding then, and i need to keep track of when i need to buy more tampons
Rawr: ...
Rawr: you are the least romantic person EVER
#318
<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.
#24337
<DarkForceRising> cmon pmab i need ur best anecdotes n jokes
<pmab> knock knock
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<DarkForceRising> whos there pmab u fgt
<DarkForceRising> !pmab
<DarkForceRising> pmab
<DarkForceRising> oi pmab
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<pmab> whos where?
* DarkForceRising is now known as dfr^ihatepmab
#15634
<drunkers> do you know who i am?
<vinnieT> nope
<drunkers> i could rip your eyes out and stick them in your knee and make your knee read a book
<vinnieT> i dont read
#54036
<+lax> i feel like an asshole
<+lax> at lunch we couldnt decide if this person was a girl or boy
<+lax> i said it was a girl
<+lax> and so we all chipped in a dollar
<+lax> and someone went over and asked
<+lax> and she started crying
#288
<enex> MadHatter: eat shit!
<MadHatter> what
<MadHatter> fuck you
<enex> oh
<enex> hi
<MadHatter> yeah hey
<enex> what's up
<MadHatter> nothing man
#311340
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail