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#142920
<paddypower> i saw these condoms
<paddypower> the inside is lined with some chemical that numbs your dick
<paddypower> so you can last longer
<Mongrel> or wear it inside out, and you don't even have to wake her up :D
#294698
<@Rjx_> the hairiest guy I know is turkish
<@Rjx_> he shaved his stomach one day and found out he had a six-pack
<@Rjx_> and was really happy
#40274
<mog> I've always had a beautiful line that I've been saving
<mog> for whenever I announce a football game
<mog> "Like a pedophile in a playground, that runningback has been penetrating small holes"
<magpie> haha
<Wintermute> oh man
<mog> one day, gents
<mog> one day
<Wintermute> I'd suggest that to my bro(he's done HS football radio before, a couple games), but ... no
<Wintermute> I think he may want to keep his job
<mog> oh come on
<mog> it's hilarious
<Wintermute> yeah
<Wintermute> but mog, you must understand, he lives in North Carolina
<mog> good poitn
<mog> better change "pedophile" to "priest"
#12851
<Jallak> Now, see, what you've done is just given me this mental image of this prepubescent girl dressed as a boy on stage, addressing the audience and telling them "Tinkerbell thinks she might become well again if little children believed in sex"
#193949
<Zachary> someone gave me an engraved rock for my birthday with ZACHERY on it
<Zachary> I mean first off you just gave me a fucking rock for my birthday
<Zachary> and then my name is on it and it's misspelled
<Zachary> of course maybe that was just the name of the rock
#15360
<FunG> i dunno how anyone thats smart could put up with your opinionated and pretentious ass. if i were locked in a room with you for 10 minutes id stab myself in the face. id have to before your personality oozed all over me and make me second in command of the idiot ship.
#42690
<@DXtremz> root@tweety [~]# uptime
<@DXtremz> 9:22pm up 111 days, 5:42, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.13, 0.20
<@sock> each person and his merits.
<@sock> you make a remote machine run for 4 months,
<@sock> while your roomie fucks chicks hard \o/
<@DXtremz> Exactly.
#39539
<Tenor> how do i make z00m join/part channels?
<DrunkDwarf> by winking at him twice, lick your lips once, then shake your hips three times, and he shall obey
<DrunkDwarf> seriously
* Tenor winks at z00m
* Tenor winks at z00m
* Tenor licks his lips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
<z00m> YEAH BABY
<z00m> IM YOURS
Comment: z00m is a bot
#28547
<@Stapler[BTEG]> I'll be 19 in exactly one month.
<+Stinger> Stapler[BTEG]: whens your birthday?
<@Stapler[BTEG]> Stinger: Add one month.
Comment: birthday math
#53836
<NPR> HEY
<NPR> NICE HOUSE
<NPR> BE A REAL SHAME IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT
<NPR> YOU NEED PROTECTION IS WHAT I'M SAYING
<NPR> "OOPS" INSURANCE
<NPR> THE SORT OF PROTECTION THAT ONLY A PUBLIC RADIO SERVICE CAN OFFER
* NPR knocks over your lamp
<NPR> OTHERWISE ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
<NPR> YA FOLLOW!?
#3581
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err .. inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse, I'll be eating it carefully monitored.
#303832
<Kage> man remember when musicians got by on their own vocal talent rather than a digital voice filter
<ixisid> no i was born in the 80s
#306775
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#6482
<funknut> I like my women like I like my coffee.
<Dokterrock> What, tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro?
#3616
<azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my school ip
#190588
(Sweet^Angel) hi
(Sweet^Angel) im banned
(Sweet^Angel) from some channel
(Sweet^Angel) by ip
(Sweet^Angel) what to do to come back?
(Sweet^Angel) ???????????????????????????
(Sweet^Angel) ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
(phlux) do you remember the nickname of the person that banned you?
(Sweet^Angel) never
(phlux) type /quit theirnick to make them quit IRC. Then you will be let back in.
(Sweet^Angel) #Dubai unable to join channel (address is banned)
<-- Sweet^Angel has quit (Quit: theirnick to make them quit IRC. Then you will be let back in)
#20271
<iwantagetfater> I'm muching on a dozen doughnuts right now
<DS> all at the same time?
<iwantagetfater> ummm... grow belly grow
#40381
<squeakymewmew> We lost power last night. A transformer exploded in the parking lot.
<PartiallyClips> Autobot or Decepticon?
Comment: AIM convo
#53935
helf: rofl
helf: apples closing stock price today was 80.86
helf: LOL
JonathanThompson: Now *that's* irony of the finest kind :)
Comment: today they announced the new x86 macs.
#39062
<Plob> You were anti-social way before the computer.
<Plob> The computer just attracted you because it requires no social skills.
<semen> the computer just allowed to you communicate without moving.
<Plob> No no, I move.
<Plob> I have a chair with wheels, biatch.
#74294
< lucky> Okay.
< lucky> We're going to enter into a pact.
< lucky> I will not use :P again for the rest of the day :P
< lucky> that's 40 minutes for me.
< lucky> :P
< lucky> oh god
* lucky shoots himself.
#3752
<ChewToy> hrm... my girlfriend should be getting off work soon
<ChewToy> i should get really really stoned before she gets here
<spazzer> actually
<spazzer> chew
<spazzer> i got off your girlfriend this afternoon first
<ChewToy> spazzer she's fucking hot :)
<ChewToy> she puts out!
<spazzer> hence, i said i got off of her first
<ChewToy> she sucks good dick doesnt she?
<spazzer> i was getting close, and she told me to put my finger in her ass
<ChewToy> she's a manager at a victorias secret
<ChewToy> :>
* KNG_SNK wonders how chew scored that
<dazemobil> he ordered her in the catalog =o
#22243
<windows_macgeek> What mods can you do with a Sega Genesis?
<InvisableMan> dude, its not like its an xbox...
<windows_macgeek> Dude, dude dude DUUUDE, I dont care what it's not like, I just wanna know how I can MOD it.
<InvisableMan> well i have a good one just for you:
<InvisableMan> 1) pour gasolene all over it.
<InvisableMan> 2) light it on fire
<InvisableMan> and tada! your new-age contemporary space heater is all done!
<InvisableMan> i also have an idea about where you can stick it, too.
#36335
<finn> so I was searching tattoos on google, and there was a hot girl with a tattoo.
<finn> so I searched girl
<finn> and there was a hot girl in a tub
<finn> you can immagine the rest :(
#301010
<Vivisector> I kind of lol'd when the Tibetan restaurant closed down and turned into a Chinese restaurant