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#31493
Velociraptor: Do you have ne updog?
SAMrhodes87: What the fuck is UPDOG?
Velociraptor: nuthin much wha bout u?
#11241
<xdeep> does anyone have a computer currently handy
#47690
<Josho> i accidentally got too close to a pool jet
<Josho> and it gave me an enema
#40241
(+bilious) My children will learn Linux
(+bilious) And we'll have battles of whether Gnome or KDE is better
(+bilious) And my kids will have arguments like "Shut up Geoffrey, KDE IS BETTER"
(+bilious) And Geoffrey will yell back "MUUUUMMM DADDD, Lisa changed my gui to kde again"
(+bilious) And I'll just tell him to rebuild his system from the image stored on the server
Comment: irc.uq.edu.au
#305243
cmca: so i've been playing starcraft a lot late at night and i think its starting to infiltrate my real life
cmca: me, emi, kyle, and paul were coming back from lunch and we got to the door that requires a key card. and we all just stood there, everyone waiting for someone else to swipe theirs
cmca: and my first thought was "shit, i missed the minerals when i set the rally point for the drones"
rnovel: HAHAHAHAH
cmca: and then i shook myself and swiped my card...
#297601
<MmmBacon> When Farah Fawcett got to heaven, and went through the pearly gates, she was greeted by God.
<MmmBacon> "Wow!" exclaimed the Holy Ghost. "We really enjoyed your work here. Especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red bikini!"
<MmmBacon> Farah is a little taken aback. "Thank you, Lord..."
<MmmBacon> Jehovah goes on, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"
<MmmBacon> Not one to act selfish and change God's opinion of her, Farah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."
<MmmBacon> "Done!" exclaims the Heavenly Father. He snaps, and Michael Jackson appears next to Farah.
Comment: ##socialites@freenode
#50250
<@Myke> Two radio antennae on a roof decided to get married
<@Myke> the ceremony wasn't much
<@Myke> but the reception was excellent.
#11625
<GodofDeath> Do you people think that racism is funny or something?
<GodofDeath> You are so dense because you are naive to what it's like to have racism effect you.
<\slick> I'm aware of it when a black person assume I have it good because I'm white, and that nothing bad happens to me because I'm white. WHITE PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
<Alice> How dare you say I don't know what it's like to be a victim of racism, I was walking down the street yesterday when a blackie bumped into me. I had to run home instantly and wash. Don't fucking talk to me about being a victim.
#309905
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "No One Cares. At All CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on
#28935
<ikaro> asdasd
<held> bubu
<[Piratez]> mating calls?
#120429
< meltingwax> If only there was a Unicode symbol for how much i hate Web 2.0
#69477
<Omi> So yeah, this idiot was trying to insult me
<Omi> By calling me gay
<Omi> Then she said, and I quote,
* Omi looks up Logs
<Omi> "thts rite u cnt reli sspeak wiv ur cock stuck in ur mouth or up another guys arse"
<Omi> So... not only did she compliment me by saying my cock is so big I can fit it in my own mouth...
<Omi> But she made absolutely no sense what so ever with the second part...
<Omi> How exactly would having a cock on someones ass prevent you from talking?
#33009
<C8H10N4O2> you drink something that contains a part of me. =D
<ducklord> that scares me in so many ways
#20063
<Konami> huge mofo assignment due friday
<Konami> that i haven't started
<silique> oh....
<silique> that's in two days....
<silique> is it big?
<Konami> yes
<Konami> yes, it is
* silique shakes his head
<silique> why...
<silique> didn't you do it earlier?
<Konami> umm
<Konami> because
<Konami> it was more fun and easier to not do it
#307808
<&o11c> http://qdb.us/305729
<&o11c> A UDP packet walks into a bar and says "I want a beer". The barman charges him twice but doesn't actually give him one.
#1800
<Matt-H> Leeches cure everything.
<JDigital> What about an allergy to leeches?
<Fry> What about loss of blood ?
<Matt-H> 'cept that, you witty bastard, you.
<JDigital> Or a fear of leeches.
<JDigital> Or lag.
#62196
Wanker123: I believe im guilty of manslaughter...
Wanker123: I figure that ive killed a baby...
Getout432: What the hell did you do man?
Wanker123: Well ive calculated the average load i shoot off to have a mass of approx 1 gram
Wanker123: If you assume twice a day, 7 days a week, thats 14 grams per week
Wanker123: 52 weeks in a year, thats 782 grams per year, rounded up to 800 because of those extra large loads
Wanker123: Now ive been wanking for at least 3 years, which means ive expelled at least 2.4 KILOGRAMS of little children... now since they've all died... and a newborn baby probably weights about 2.4 kg...
Wanker123: Therefore, i submit, that im guilty of manslaughter, for killing enough mini-children to add up to a real child...
Getout432: You really need to get laid you fucking redneck
#270887
<Betty> So, wanna go see a movie tomorrow
<Sokol> NO! I toled you, i haev a girlfriend!!!
<Betty> I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU STONED FUCK!!!
#12066
<Toby> cheese whiz sucks.
<Toby> there's nothing but.. cheese. no peppers or anything to add flavor.
* bipolaroid sets mode: +b *!*@216.41.31.68
* bipolaroid has kicked Toby from #Animorphs (blaspheming bastard)
#16839
<Tocool> Im so bored
<Tocool> I can predict my day
<Tocool> I woke up at 12:30, will sit around on computer till about 4, head to work, come back at 10:30, sit on computer till 2, go to bed
<Shaddix> pretty good
<Tocool> This isnt the normal course of action, just recent turn of events have left me with very lil to do
<Shaddix> oh
<Shaddix> impotentcy?
#302239
<bofh> how did little endian come about anyway?
<tgies> ok you know about the original sin right
<bofh> like big endian seems fairly obvious as it's how we typically read numbers, and it was also used by the TCP/IP spec
<bofh> as in the trig function?
<tgies> no the biblical original sin
<tgies> god showed up
<tgies> and he was like
<tgies> ok, since you guys are dillholes and dont know how to fucking listen
<tgies> from now on you have to work for your food
<tgies> childbirth will be painful
<tgies> and you'll have to work with this fucking stupid god damn system for representing numbers where the least significant byte comes first
Comment: wgiowrb.dyndns.org #animutation
#17771
<suffocate> i wanna know if thewre are any Visual Basic packets
<suffocate> under linux
<suffocate> ???
#5902
<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future
#149340
[helf] wow, the Marines commercials have gotten way better
[xexyz] i should point out that when you sign up for the Marines, your life does NOT get a kick ass metal soundtrack
[helf] awww fuck
#16081
<McBob> THIS ROOM LACKS FUNNY
<Stickman_Retard> lol
<McBob> IT CANT HAVE FUNNY IF YOU SAY LOL TO "THIS ROOM LACKS FUNNY"