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#111151
<Zealo> English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
#14475
[Nothingface] fuck, I can't type
[@PMV] its easy
[@PMV] step 1: bang head on keyboard
[@PMV] step 2: repeat
#63290
Sonic McTails: Man, work is dead today
Nokoatheart: That sucks.
Nokoatheart: hey, wait...
Nokoatheart: Don't you work in a hospital?
#18816
cyateon: unbore me.
tatsumio: *ziiiiiiip*
cyateon: oh baby!
tatsumio: Cd Wallet. SICKO
cyateon: I meant oh baby as in I like your cd wallet.
tatsumio: ...
tatsumio: You SICKO.
cyateon: IT'S A NICE WALLET
tatsumio: You son of a bitch.
cyateon: it holds a lot of cds!
tatsumio: Get off my buddy list.
#22892
<kammerer06>if 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea does that mean the 5th person likes it.
#8846
<IH8Pants> I was too talented for the football team
<IH8Pants> So I joined band
#52786
<BigOne> Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
<BigOne> If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
<BigOne> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
<BigOne> If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
#2061
<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-)
#6625
<@Greg> how do i start apps automatically when i log into os x?
<@desnarf> hit it with a hammer
<@desnarf> but you need a robot arm for it to happen automatically
#101348
<@MetalOverlord> 69 IS DIVINE
<@lemmayoshi> 70 is 69 with one watching
<@MetalOverlord> LAME
<@dlong> 68 is me eating out a snowman
<@CatGirlFetish> what in the fuck
#29585
<+Ron> ( E@3 )
<+Ron> / /U \ \
<+Lance> o_o
<+Lance> What is that?
<Dirt[secluded]> O_O
<+Ron> Goatse
Comment: :-D
#300986
<@luke-jr_> what is the world coming to? Debian stable has a newer version of Perl than Gentoo testing.
#302601
snookums: today was just another first interview
snookums: she told me to go find a seat the furthest down the way.. so i'm sitting there and for 15 minutes i'm getting antsy sitting there so i start messing with my resume.. at that point i realised the third page of my resume papers was a coupon for yogurt
#8205
<vas-assignment> i dare anyone to watch the excorcist and ay midnight and take a walk around the blok
<KINGofEXTREME> its not even scary man
<vas-assignment> bullshit
<vas-assignment> everyone tells me its scary
<KINGofEXTREME> the first hour is arabs digging in a desert
<KINGofEXTREME> that shit scared teh fuck out of me
#41178
<True> do you think that whether or not you jackoff affects your life
<eyecu> of course
<eyecu> think about all the ugly girls you might have had sex with
<eyecu> if you hadnt jacked off first
<True> that's such a good point
Comment: #tribalwar irc.dynamix.net
#2431
<Chocobo> blt: I'll hire you as a debt collector, your first job is to reach into your pocket and gimme money
#151878
process hijack: why do they ship computers with norton on them?
process hijack: thats like shipping toilets with shit already in them
lbreeves2: lmfao
lbreeves2: so whats mcafee? shipping them with stagnant piss in there?
process hijack: yeah something alot the lines of that
#85791
dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.
#14139
<Choc> CARDIFF: Twelve people have been taken to hospital after Spanish world title contender Carlos Sainz's Ford left the road and hit spectators at the British rally here.
<morty> they were obviously cheering for another driver
#10918
<Iluvatar> 217.136.168.137
<The_Cat> ?
<Iluvatar> guess who's address that is
<The_Cat> HOW DID YOU GET MY IP ????
* The_Cat kicks his useless firewall
#3341
<MicroChip> ok, so who's gonna win the superbowl?
<Chucker-away> the Yankees
<bishop> the sox
<MicroChip> you guys are so female
#61602
<Apophis> I think I need to trim my toenails.
<Apophis> either that or I'm a special kind of idiot
<Apophis> or both
<Apophis> my hand is bleeding from an 'unfortunate sock putting-on injury'
#307376
<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves
#15724
<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes. policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing
#1778
<wild> whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
<wild> it only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus