Random | Latest | Best | Full Site
#27907
<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1 week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?
#11261
* Tomko slaps saber with Oprah's clitoris, which resembles some kind of gnarled and pulsating sweet potato
<ducks> WTF
#398
<PERvERT> i have a 9 inch penis
<Duce> is that in dog inches?
#3938
<sTek> "ONLY FRIENDS", i hate those two words
<sTek> even worse than "im pregnant"
#44984
auslander: i think we can all agree I'm the smartest one here
megaL: your IQ is like 1. im a million time smarter
s1r: a million times 1 is still one, asshole
#1027
<Yukkel> a belch is not an oral report
#1204
<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity
#27214
<banuaba> nick, do you think a baby could eat another baby?
<nick> if it was hungry enough, sure
<nick> why?
<banuaba> dunno
<banuaba> just trying to plan my day
#18161
<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)
#7174
<Latino-Heat> my mum wants me to get a piercing or a tattoo to make me look meaner
#16975
Nazrag is away now to play Tea Fortress Classic
<Nazrag> thats right kids, Tea Fortress Classic
<TheRiff> sweetened or unsweetened
<Nazrag> sweetened, with crumpets on the side
<TheRiff> alright
#43885
<Ravenclaw> i want to sew "bad mother fucker" onto my wallet somehow
<Meo`> you should probably have someone else sew it
<Meo`> bad motherfuckers dont sew
#303903
<+Gno> i've had arrogant steak and dumb rice for food today.
<@ps> wtf?
<@ps> why do you pass such anthropomorphic judgements on your food
<+Gno> the steak was arrogant because it managed to push my eggs off the pan when cooking.
<+Gno> bullies are arrogant.
<@ps> so
<+Gno> the rice was dumb because it could not figure out how to stay on the utensil i was eating.
#33081
(fleet): I had a bad sexual experience last night
(fleet): I cut my penis on a jagged vagina
(nme): that wasn't a vagina, I told you to stop fucking those goddamn pepsi cans
#14583
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming
#50258
Clint: Did you hear that the police station got broken in to?
Clint: The thieves stole all the toilets!
Mikey_B: Yeah, I heard that at the moment the policemen have nothing to go on.
#29852
<phide> I've got the Village People on my cell to confuse people as to my sexual preferences.
#25460
<cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!").
#381
<^0_o^> i'm a girl's dream!
<^0_o^> if only i had a chance to prove myself...
<DooD> a paper bag will give u many chances
<DooD> if they cant see the face, they cant use the mace
#58591
pancreas: If homosexuality is a disease, can I call in gay?
#301221
<ccr> the thing about JVM is that it will almost never free memory it has once allocated from host. it has, at least historically, been a mistake to run anything else than one Java-based service per server instance.
<Chainsaw> Indeed. The memory allocation strategy of Java can be described in 3 words.
<Chainsaw> Nom nom nom.
#296678
<ZeroButte> man, its hard to read trainspotting
<gord-sofa> i dont need to read trainspotting, i saw the movie and grew up in the north of england ;)
<Chickenhen> you mean you can't read the book, as you grew up in north of england, so you watched the movie?
#36675
<fatlilbug> If my second cousin is totally hot, is it alright so long as we use protection?
<ZekeMcN> fatlilbug: you're from arkansas, aren't you?
<fatlilbug> kentucky :/
#34125
*** BabyJesus (~BabyJesus@w126.z066088223.sjc-ca.dsl.cnc.net) has joined channel #fark
* J-Lynx aborts BabyJesus
*** BabyJesus has left #fark
#183
<BlackDeth> i was playin CS
<BlackDeth> and i accidentally ran over my whole team with a tank
<BlackDeth> i got booted off the server :/