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#300885
<Dave2> I wonder if it's normal for me to frequently swear at, shake my fist at, and give the middle finger to an inanimate object.
<awilcox> Dave2, your penis?
#7959
<shoryu909> I wanna be the dell kid.
<@pheer> why?
<shoryu909> He's the most honest person I know.
<zeratul> besides Jesus you mean
<shoryu909> yeah, but jesus has an action figure. Sellout!
#18810
<brainbox> damn, I've been at uni 2 years now
<brainbox> where DOES the time go?
<NecroMort> alcohol....sleep.....poker.....food.......sword fighting with sticks........D&D..........House LAN.........SKY tv......
#301836
<@PZT> "I want you to taste these," she panted as she unbuttoned her blouse, revealing two full-grown California grizzly bears. I was on the ground before it even clicked. I glanced upwards and wove my head to the left as a set of 2" claws plunged downward at me. They grazed the side of my face. It stung like hell. One of them was sitting on my left arm; I couldn't move. I felt around for the coat hanger she'd thrown to the floor just minutes ago. A careless move for an agent, I thought to myself. I twisted it around my wrist, forming a crude hook, and jabbed at the one on top of me. It rolled over, uttering primal groans of agony as blood dripped from its eyes. I slashed blindly to my left. I didn't break the fur, but it was enough. The second bear shifted its weight, and I was able to pry my arm free. Still half-naked, I grabbed the padlocked Armani suitcase and I stumbled out the motel room door.
<Scizor300> What the hell?
* Stoney is now known as Stonaway
<@PZT> I swore silently to myself as I dashed toward the dimly lit lobby. She'd been one of them all along. An agent. The Movement had warned me not to let down my cover, even for a minute. Why hadn't I listened? A prostitute, in the beat-down slums of Madrid? What was I thinking? Her name... Bertha. Bear-tha. She'd been dangling it in front of my face the entire night, but I had been too horny to listen. Or care, for that matter.
<+Mach> What the fuck?
<@PZT> I burst out the front door and ran down the street towards a departing bus. I didn't care where it was going; no human can outrun a hungry grizzly bear on foot. I heard screams behind me, followed by roars and a horrible gnashing sound. I stuck my good arm between the closing doors, pried them open and stepped on board. I threw a few coins at the flabbergasted bus driver and made my way to a seat, ignoring the similarly confused faces around me. It didn't matter to me; the honey was safe. That was all that mattered nowadays.
Comment: #armonte's_channel on irc.esper.net
#37382
<z80> lets be helpfull
<z80> and intelligent
<z80> and maybe arrive at some truth most ppl miss
<SabrWolf> u could also just shutup
#30418
<Finn> wow... in the summer we only heat the water with oil, now in the winter we use wood as well... I had a shower and turned it up fully as I do in the summer... I never jumped against a wall that fast !!
Comment: #geekissues
#303084
<happyman|sleep> man i was just thinking of something. it would be great to setup an entire irc server of nothing but bots. that appear to be real people. so when random people join the server. they can spend weeks there thinking they are really talking to people.. only to randomly come back every now and then and let all the people know they were all only bots
<+Wolvenhaven> lol
<+Wolvenhaven> i used to run a room called #someonewhocares
<+Wolvenhaven> and it was moderated
<+Wolvenhaven> with a bot which tried to convince people to suicide
#43192
<+Iconoclastic> i just took like
<+Iconoclastic> 6 hits of catnip
<+Lester> and?
<+Iconoclastic> my lungs hurt
#4351
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.
#40381
<squeakymewmew> We lost power last night. A transformer exploded in the parking lot.
<PartiallyClips> Autobot or Decepticon?
Comment: AIM convo
#44534
<+^Sheldon> I was in the IT industry 20 years, and I still can't explain why a simple restart solves all problems :p
#17009
<jonathans> i can stand on the sides of my ankles
<jonathans> both heels inward
<jonathans> i can balance on one for a bit
<clay> i can touch my penis with my hands
#308469
<hagbard> i3Guest88: the pin9 that on the webpage is marked "NC" what are you doing with that pin?
<i3Guest88> just to ground
<myself> aha
<myself> when a bit gets shifted off the edge of the '595, it falls out pin 9
<myself> if you're pushing zeroes out there, the chip is trying to drive pin 9 to ground, which is already its state, and everything is copascetic
<myself> but as soon as you shift a 1 off the edge of the register, it tries to drive pin 9 high, but it's grounded, so it shorts your power supply
<myself> when a pin is labeled NC, that means you only connect it if you're in North Carolina
<myself> and since we're in Michigan, we use that as a no-connect pin, meaning leave it floating
#137188
< Vertelemming> Either your keyboard is broken, you're drunk, or you're drunk and your keyboard is broken.
< loft306> nuether
#78733
*Dravas has quit IRC
<Caprisun> im gonna take a video of me fucking that girl he likes
<PS31791> O_O
<PS31791> that would suck
<PS31791> if i saw that
<PS31791> id be like
*Takumi has joined #main
<PS31791> from now on im gonna be gay
<PS31791> ...
<PS31791> Takumi... i can explain...
<Caprisun> XD
#15166
[][ceman] I get mine from the fact that for the first 2 weeks of playing CS I didnt; know you could buy rifles
[][ceman] I thought they were scattered on the ground and that people kept picking them up before me
#34748
<gloone> most of the people in there really are geeks with issues
<gloone> we were talking about weight
<gloone> and everyone in there were like "I'm 5'2" and i weigh 230 pounds."
<gloone> and then i told them i'm 6'2" and weigh 165
<gloone> and i got permbanned
#25612
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me
#22355
<AmorWork> anyone can help me?
<ZondrZout> Are you Italian?
<AmorWork> yes...
<ZondrZout> Sorry, we can't help you then
<AmorWork> :| ...lol?
#16518
<davester> alright, in a month when i'm building this computer, everything will have changed, so i'm not going to bother now
<davester> they'll have gforce9's and p5's and terrabit hdd's
<davester> all for cheap
<Deathblend> and 256bit athlons
<davester> word
<davester> WORD
<Deathblend> you mean dword
#17390
<@Afterglow> what's the point of irc anyway
<@Afterglow> everyone idles
< destruct> the "point" is that if you take the third word spoken on the second tuesday of every month of the the third person down in each channel you visit on irc, they will form a description of the path to the lost city of atlantis
#1776
<cait-sith> being in love
<R0y> i wish
<R0y> it's all just confusing emotion
<R0y> one minute you think you love her, the next minute you're on yahoo masturbating with girls in the united states
#17843
<Halo_Four> hm, I never knew that
<DiViL`> no offence but what you don't know could fill a warehouse
<DiViL`> :P
<KnightOwl> hahah
<DiViL`> I could fill an oil tanker
#303989
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point.
#2125
<matts> memcpy(matts,einstein);
<KrZDG> compilation error cannot convert smart d00d to dumb ass.