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#20211
<cat_gurrrl> I'm not a common street hooker! I am a self employed roadside massage therapist!
#32785
<MKendora> I get concerned when what I see on TV enters my dreams.
<MKendora> since that happens fairly often...
<MKendora> and since all I watch is Law & Order : Special Victims Unit...
<MKendora> I get all kinds of sex crimes in my dreams :/
#7800
(PJ|) someone released a reencoding of it
(PJ|) with alot better quality
(Lan|Work) How do you re-encode something and get better quality?
#9036
<DJTodd> Which is gayer? Pokemon or Pro Wrestling?
<LarsC> wrestling.
<Amoeba> Wrestling.
<jt`> wrestling.
<[prone]> wrestling.
#306588
<@Malice> I found my friend Crista crying in the bathroom at work today.
<@Malice> I asked her what was wrong and she told me one of the new guys told her that he bets she sucks in bed.
<@Malice> Then she told me she was crying because she felt like a whore because it festered in her mind so long she wants to sleep with him just to prove him wrong.
<+ark0n> i think i just found my new pickup line
#28919
<NikJam> gonna take a shower
<NikJam> cause i smell, i feel dirty, and worse of all
<NikJam> I have school tommorow
<NikJam> and I can't look bad in front of the girl at the counter
<Lime> you like her, dont you
<NikJam> well
<NikJam> there's noone else to like, i go to community college
<NikJam> i take what i can get
#61211
<@TheOracle> the top reason I like alcoholic investors, they cant remember if they wrote the check or not so they keep writing more
#17298
<xenothrope> WHO IS THE MOST TALENTED PRON STAR?!?!
<hoho> ron jeremy
<[H]Lasuuco> me
<[H]Lasuuco> i can wack off on command
<xenothrope> peter north owns jeremy
<hoho> nah
<isajeep> ummm
<[H]Lasuuco> lol
<isajeep> im not prepared to argue the better parts of male porn stars
<NickBlasta> dont lie jeep
<hoho> jeep, im going by the fact that the guy is fat, ugly, and old but still gets laid every day.
<isajeep> I said im not prepared...I don't have my slides ready
<xenothrope> lmao jeep
<isajeep> hoho thats because he(like me) has mastered his body
<NickBlasta> ROFL
<isajeep> wait
<hoho> so you're fat and ugly like him?
<isajeep> that might sund wrong
<isajeep> *sound
#27444
<noddy> i thought so
<noddy> but
<noddy> apparently
<noddy> it like a CAT scan
<noddy> coincidence??
<Mortarion> and this is why noddy is so high above everyone else on the stats!
<Mortarion> using 5 lines to say what i would have said in one!
<noddy> bugger
<noddy> i've been sussed
<noddy> :(
#297382
<c0nsumer> A pizza with the radius z and thickness a has the volume pi*z*z*a
#57865
<Thero> The day i suck cock is the day chicken is available in slurpee form.
#29048
[00:01] <chewy> </christmas>
[00:02] <berger> haha
Comment: December 26th
#310968
<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back
#29503
<Lippizanr> agh, my professor asks hard questions
<DJ-Pyro> sleep with him, much easier than doing actual work...and less painful
<Lippizanr> its a her.
<DJ-Pyro> sleep with her, much easier than doing actual work...and less painful
#2652
<+Cypherus> what is a splash-screen?
<Nagaika> when your screen falls into the bathtub
#28540
<Ash> Hatter is a fountain of wit. I'm a master of emoticons. scar_ is Norwegian, blazemore has a cool laptop. Each of us was born with a superpower, and together we are unstoppable.
#550
<Ash> KIEV, Ukraine (AP) -- A Ukrainian candy company has begun marketing what may be the stickiest, richest and most fattening holiday treat on the market: pure pork fat covered in chocolate.
#17784
<Zombie> sisters are good
<Sony> She is fat
<Sony> and she smells
<Sony> like bear
<Zombie> lol
<Zombie> perfect for you
<Sony> Yeah, I'd hit it
<Sony> Wait
<Sony> I mean now
<Sony> no*
#57805
*** Soopie has joined #perl
<Soopie> I HATE PERL
<Soopie> ITS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A REAL LANGUAGE
<Soopie> WITH ITS OBFUSCATED PUNCTUATION AND CRAP
<fr_gment> length q bless glob and print chr oct ord q mkdir m and print chr ord q xor x and print chr ord q q q and print chr ord uc q map m and print chr ord q qw q and print chr ord q each le and print chr ord q my alarm and print chr oct oct ord uc qw q for q
<fr_gment> Soopie: Run that. No punctuation at all. Nice and elegant.
<Soopie> ...
<Soopie> IT PRINTS FUCKING "GO AWAY"!?
Comment: Run it and see!
#103645
<magnum12> I do have a hypothesis as to the origins of the werewolf myth. Its an interesting theory.
<magnum12> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of rabies.
<TheCowch> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of furries.
#22048
<Hippy> Damn its freaking cold in here and my heater is broke :(
<HT101> Oo k that explains y ur willy is so little
<Hippy> WTF u doin with my willy?
<HT101> I got hungry, couldn't find anything else
#33363
< solerad> oh man
< solerad> my adopted brother
< solerad> had a wet dream that involved my mother :/
< solerad> i wouldn't have known except that
< Supacabra> yikes
< solerad> he told his ENTIRE SCHOOL
< Supacabra> double yikes
#32129
<tigergirl> Why it would be too early to say good morning?
<Bringa> cause morning starts at 3pm imo :P
<Antimatter> heh. g'morning, then :)
* malady goes to bed. v_v
<tigergirl> "What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
<Helleshin> all of them at once
<Bringa> tigergirl, I postulate that for someone, somewhere, this morning is good. Also, I would like to make you see the potential for good that lies in this morning as it does in every morning. Also, I like to mock your doubtlessly depressive plight by stating how good I am doing. On this good morning.
<Kurt> but it's afternoon!
Comment: (circa 11pm EST on #angband@WorldIRC)
#213469
<Raws> rofl
<Raws> I was just answering some poor guy's question in #java on another network, while I was watching these dateline things
<Raws> And I was talking about the dateline stuff in another channel
<Raws> So in the other channel, we all decide to change our nicks
<Raws> In the middle of me answering his question, this guy just sees
<Raws> *** Raws is now known as onlinepenisguy_464
<Raws> He just left
#2014
<BonGoaT> i think Bush played counterstrike too much