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#7549
[blergh`] so i went to this fight and a damn hockey game broke out
#6211
<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees
#34029
<Imiut> I'm so addicted I actually read the pending quotes too. >.<
<Luna> imiut, i do that too...
<Imiut> Omg do you? Let's get married!
Comment: #mxo
#14303
HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.
#11428
<antix> i have a poem
<Lulu> share
<antix> its call "an irc life"
<antix> my bandwidth
<antix> i lag... i lag
<antix> i die....
<antix> the end
<fluxz0r> that was so touching
#50923
<Tama|home> this is a real news article...
<Tama|home> WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.
#15870
<dabblerblue> i hate pants that are only comfortable when you're standing :(
<nzc> so takem off
<dabblerblue> i can't, i'm about to go out
<dabblerblue> i put them on so i could leave without being arrested
<dabblerblue> i hate that
#115085
DinkyDogg: me and porn has always been kinda like israel and nuclear weapons
DinkyDogg: i've never claimed to have porn but they all know i do
#302907
hawq: link to news story "chair-maims-girl-by-anal-penetration"
Orange_Ribbon: caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode
Orange_Ribbon: WHAT!?!?!?v Gas Cylinder!!
Manoel: Why would they need a gas cylinder in the chair?
Skynet: I was under the assumption that's how gas lift chairs worked, with a gas cylinder.
FetusChrist: Guess what I have in common with a chair
Zoidberg: Explosive gas?
#304575
[convo about airport security]
<paul> myself, did you get body scanned or groped
<myself> I walked through gates but didn't step into the federal dick-measurer
<myself> good thing, too; I don't know what maxint is on those things
#31893
<HiddenGenius> dude, my microwave just cooked a frozen hot pocket in like 40 seconds
<HiddenGenius> my mom is freaking out, she made us take the microwave outside and now she's making us get tested for cancer
<HiddenGenius> I can't stop laughing
#6385
<malp> this channel would be an argument for forced sterilization if there ever was a chance of any of you getting laid
<RunMe> malp: you keep talking as if you're NOT ON this channel
#2514
<steve|zzz> i had this dream
<steve|zzz> i was beating off
<steve|zzz> and my penis was circumsised
<steve|zzz> and it was so big i could use 2 hands
<steve|zzz> best dream i ever had
#49986
<ryan> that and the scenes shot in first person view mode
<ryan> me and my friend started laughing
<ryan> and he yells
<ryan> "oh wtf.... hes got aimbot.... now the fucker is wall hacking"
<Psykus> haha
<ryan> the 13 and 14 year olds that skipped school behind us were laughing at him
<ryan> so i turned around and threw the rest of my DOTS and yelled in a raspy voice
<ryan> "STFU COUNTERSTRIKE BITCHES"
Comment: discussing the doom movie
#309771
* Tornado (~Tornado@FUR-45D7AAA0.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #basement
* Tornado (~Tornado@FUR-45D7AAA0.dyn.optonline.net) has left #basement
<Rena> oh my god how did it get so messy in here
#242631
<will_smith> gay people shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> you shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as anyone else
<will_smith> no really think about it
<will_smith> if gay men are able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> it would turn them straight?
<will_smith> i should be able to use the same bathroom as women
<Merihell{CD}> and turn them gay?
#30122
<@JFeeple> Loth: it gets worse, one of the preferred "methods" of hair removal involves hot wax
* @Lothtiriel winces
<@SuperXdude> yowsie
<@SuperXdude> we use super sticky tape....great for friends who pass out drunk
<@Lothtiriel> that's painful enough... but boiling wax? that's insane
<@JFeeple> remind me never to pass out within 500 miles of X
#85582
<Kogita> Google ads: PDF Password Cracker! Recover Acrobat PDF file to allow read, edit, copy, and print with PdfCracker.
<Kogita> right next to it: Secure your PDFs! Secure, encrypt and send PDF documents by e-mail with PdfCrypter.
<Kogita> Which one do you trust?
#76601
< lerxst> on that note
< lerxst> it is official
< lerxst> amanda and i are expecting
< tyger> oh?!
< lerxst> that's what /i/ said
< tyger> holy shit!.....is congrats appropriate in this case?
< lerxst> hell yeah!
< lerxst> my penis works!
< tyger> alright then!
< lerxst> now. down to business.
< lerxst> i need leads on hamster balls that come in progressively escalating sizes.
#4012
<Gallant> what's the point of programmin C/C++ if your goal is to make readable code?
#309410
<kentari> There's a huge disaster.
<kentari> The bodies are being piled up.
<kentari> How do they identify yours among the corpses?
<kentari> That's how I ask people to describe themselves on dates.
<Caltak> o_o
<kentari> it unsettles people and gives me two things: reactions, and time
<Caltak> Like, when you're already physically there with them and can see them?
<kentari> that way while they answer, I ignore them
<kentari> and I plan my next move :P
#300964
<Decline> how do I stop being in insert mode, al?
<Sebas> Pull your pants up.
#22117
<noddy> this nekkid gurl is a cutie
<noddy> she's very nekkid now
<noddy> and playing with a carrot
<noddy> or a dildo
<noddy> not sure
<Mortarion> remind me never to eat anything you cook
#6443
<signine> "PIPE YOUR OUTPUT THROUGH THAT, BITCH!"
<far_call> "you can stick that in your pipe and awk it"
#7797
<Linguica> it would be funny if i got a serious death threat
<Linguica> wtf
<Linguica> wait a minute
<Linguica> <Linguica> it would be funny if i got a serious death threat
<Linguica> no it wouldnt