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#2928
<Kazz> Everybody kept screeching "DON'T DO IT LOOK AT ALL YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE FOR" and he was like "no im gona do it" and I said "How?" and he said "Knife through the heart" and I was like "Wicked. Send pics."
<Sharkey> My favorite one was back in #verge years ago. Finally after I ribbed her for about an hour she said that she'd slashed her wrists because of me. I asked her if she was typing with her tongue.
<Kazz> I suggested he fall on a chainsaw. He liked the messiness.
#29055
<Mongvar> .de go develope the pictures for christs sake :P
<Bringa> ahah
<Bringa> gave them to the development store called 'my mum' today
<Bringa> they'll be done by Tuesday
<Bringa> remember, this is good ole germany
<Bringa> nothing works on weekends
<Bringa> and by nothing I mean Leon's mum!
<Bringa> :P
<Woc[food]> haha
<Errtu> dont invoke her voodoo wrath
<Woc[food]> I do hope her workmates don't read the Holy Bible
<Woc[food]> cause it says that if you work on the day of rest, you should be stoned to death :/
<Errtu> i'm stoned to death every day
Comment: #tavern / worldirc
#1274
[kisama_] and no, amanda, my favorite monoply symbol is the cannon
[Amanda_] Because it symbolizes all the high powered ass pounding you do?
#17023
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know
#21411
<Dr_Ian> WHY ARE ALL AUSTRALIANS OBSESSED WITH THE APOCALYPSE?!
<ShinAkuma> i dont know?
<Bu||et> Kola says its because Kangaroo's smoke shoes
<Dr_Ian> I think its because australia would look exactly the same if a nuke it hit it
#39695
<shingoki> Simple answer? Debian requires a brain the size of a planet to install. It hates all living things
<shingoki> You see when they created debian, the developers saw that it was so perfect, and so good, that it was an affront to God himself. Unable to destroy their beautiful creation, they instead vowed that it would never be installed by mortal man
<shingoki> And so they bound it forever inside an installer of such evil that no human could look upon it, yet alone use it
Comment: #blenderchat on freenode
#51074
* wiskic10_4[work] (wiskic10_4@3D6FCCD7.1FA7CA99.E878EC9B.IP) has joined #lobby
<wiskic10_4[work]> you'll never guess where I am...
<wiskic10_4[work]> oh.
<wiskic10_4[work]> damn.
<wiskic10_4[work]> stupid auto-nick...
Comment: #lobby on Unerror
#302477
< Glayde|w> i remember telling a friend 'you have to register your nickname'
< Glayde|w> the next day he tells me how he registered mirc
#31803
<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars
<tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate
#11158
-|Darky|ZzZ- Repeat Flood Detected Please do not repeat in #pack (Last & Only Warning)
<|Darky|ZzZ> princess: Please do not repeat in #pack
<princess> ack! not again! :(
* princess says again, i am no fl00der (
<princess> :(
<apekatt> that's just a sign that says you need to expand your vocabulary
<apekatt> hehe
#2402
<intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
#23077
<Kevyn> Woohoo, girls college softball on ESPN2.
<Kevyn> I think it's college. There's NCAA logos everywhere, but these girls look fourteen. Score!
<Pedro> Is that Jennie Finch girl pitching?
<Kevyn> I don't know. I have it on mute.
#18806
churchonmondays: whatcha up to?
MissMandieMay: not much
MissMandieMay: talking
MissMandieMay: with da peps
churchonmondays: don't you mean peeps?
MissMandieMay: no
MissMandieMay: people is spelled with one e
churchonmondays: OMG take that back before i call you a dumbass
#232309
<Jenny> Wrath comes out on my birthday :3
<Cerbis_Latran> yay
<Jenny> it's like Blizz are saying "happy birthday Jenny"
<Jenny> "have a piece of crap that crashes every ten minutes until it gets patched in three months"
<Jenny> "that'll be 30 euro"
#298
<DigDug> how about i make a special back door, just for you :-)
<Amanda_> Oh, that'll work just as well
<McMoo> pen just invited you to have ass sex with him
#301020
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np!
#37125
<claudio> (:) <-- HAPPY OR SAD!? YOU TELL ME
<claudio> err
<claudio> its happy both ways
<claudio> dammit
<claudio> you saw nothing
Comment: #blizzhackers on irc.digitaltoxicity.net
#3066
<CactusJack> thats exeactly it...
(putnam): i lip synced rubber ducky by ernie from sesame street in literature for a project once.
(putnam): that brought the damn house down. i couldnt believe how perverted the song is
(putnam): i danced too. and got people into it. they were clapping.
#25399
(XBL-im): i have adelphia/time warner wires running side by side
(XBL-im): into my room
(XBL-im): appartently my adelphia one is creating a magnetic field that send the transmition into the air
(XBL-im): high enough that planes can pick it up
(XBL-im): *i live near a huge international airport*
(XBL-im): anyways, the FCC was looking for the problem
(XBL-im): and they found me
(XBL-im): they gave me this 30 min bullshit lecture on how it works
(XBL-im): and then they offered me an alternative to cable
(XBL-im): lol
#79824
Zipper: I just found out today that my western civ. teacher lives in a 4 bedroom, 5.5 bath house with a 3 car garage. He owns 4 cars, one is a brand new Sequoya and it's just his wife and him
Zipper: After he told us that, the kid next to me says "You're a teacher... What does your wife do!?!?"
#1331
<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.
#190078
<Calgary> !calc 42/12
-Vectra[22]- ** (CALC): 42/12 = 3.5
<Calgary> !calc 53/3
-Vectra[22]- ** (CALC): 53/3 = 17.666667
<StFu145> !calc 23/0
*** -Vectra[22]- has left #CalculatorBot (connection timed out)
<StFu145> oops
#97327
DWang: a friend of mine
DWang: used 3 minutes on his phone last month
DWang: but he got refunded 4!
DWang: the phone company apparently uses 4-byte unsigned ints
DWang: because it UNDERFLOWED
DWang: he apparently used 2^32 minutes at 10 cents a minute
DWang: so he got a bill
DWang: for $430 MILLION
#59520
<katiesaurus> I'm kinda like a pineapple
<mattatta> huh?
<katiesaurus> brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside
<mattatta> oh lol, I thought you meant fat and best cut into pieces
<katiesaurus> ...ummm
#304222
<@Sebas> "I like these piercings that look like clubs and spades."
<@Sebas> "Get your upper lip pierced too, then you can get the hearts and the diamonds as well and have a pokerface."