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#33107
<wild-> theres a large gay community in nyc!
<D-viant> theres a large * community in nyc
#15946
<Samrod> while ME, on the other hand, FOUND a digital Casio watch, spend 2 days breaking the code to access the phonebook, called a buncha peaple to see who they know in common, and eventually found its rightfull owner, which turned out to be a classmate
<fGewA> me find digital watch!
<fGewA> me call rightful owner!
#61017
Mattykins: i just did the stupidest thing evar
The Kaos Jester: Installed OS X?
Mattykins: okay i thought i broke my NIC on OS X right
Mattykins: cause it said "The Ethernet cable for Built-In Ethernet is not plugged in." right
Mattykins: and that's what it says when it is broken
Mattykins: so i spend like three hours trying to fix it
Mattykins: and i look behind the computer
Mattykins: the fucking network cable is unplugged
#32399
<wild> time to go have sex with alyssa
<wild> cya
<BlackDeth> <translation> my mom just told me i have to take a shower because i smell funny :(
<wild> translation: lame humour attempt
#22995
<nover> I think methamphetimines is the only word over 5 letters you hobags know how to spell
#306605
<@Matthew> had a weird dream last night, some doctors told me that my spine was fucked
<@Matthew> first they were very helpful promising to get it fixed, then they found out i didn't have private health insurance
< ulber> the american dream
#6377
<glasnost> i remember how DOS had no command for recursive removes
<glasnost> until they added deltree
<Logan> glasnost: deltree
<glasnost> thanks logan.
#102983
<helf> lljhihkuggigfi
<helf> oh good
<helf> still connected
<helf> everything died for a second
<leavengood> I wonder what happened to helf
<leavengood> wasn't he here a while ago?
<helf> I'm HERE!
<DaaT> maybe he timed out?
<leavengood> too bad
* helf waves arms around
<leavengood> I was going to offer him money
<helf> can't you see me?!!?
<DaaT> better for the chan if he's gone anyway
<DaaT> imho
<leavengood> yeah
<helf> :(
#22893
<Ch33ky> is this the internet?
#53284
<ShroomDuck> but the head we get here in ontario is fuckin horrible
<ShroomDuck> HEAT!
<ShroomDuck> I MEANT HEAT!
#18574
<OlDirtyB> thats why i fuck sheep next to cliffs
<OlDirtyB> they push back
#37005
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven
#11923
<Rann-chan> 0123.
<Rann-chan> Er, sorry. ^^;
<Reddjango> at least we know you can count to 3 ^_^
<Gary> And like a C programmer, too. :)
<Rann-chan> Of course I can. That's the number of guys a girl can take without using her hands, right? n.n
#226181
<@jer> TheBeast, lemme guess, female?
<@jer> if so, it sounds like you're caught in a pussy trap, get out of it... don't call her again, let her call you
<@jer> if you have some mutal friends, slip to them that you're really busy with something exciting in your life (and make sure it's real, don't lie)
<@jer> she'll call you, when she does, tell her you can't talk for long, then abruptly tell her you have to go
<@jer> and hang up
<@jer> work that way for a little while
<@jer> she'll then be in your little trap =]
<indigoflux> This is why I hate relationships.
<indigoflux> If I want to play mind games, I might as well sign up for a course in assembly programming.
#63069
<Hephesus> I think the baby has a fever...
<Trinexx> a fever on a baby is a clear sign of demonic possession, you must remove the heart with a dog skull, then piss inside an empty glass and drink it. Burn the heart. Smear the ashes on your penis. Make hot steamy love to an asian boy.
<Trinexx> be sure to smear molten sugar on the baby's legs and throw it in an antbed once you're done
<Hephesus> or, you know, give him a bath and some medicine...
<Trinexx> NO! DO NOT LET THE DEMON TOUCH WATER!
<Hephesus> what if I bathe him in holy water?
<Trinexx> possibly, as long as the heart has already been removed
#7588
<human> beethoven and mozart should have had a kid
<human> then marry this kid to enya
<human> then have their children play with a roland xp-30
<human> then you'll get some nice tunes
#2394
<McMoo> but then last year the sermon like a week before christmas was like 'CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT PRESENTS - OUR ONE TRUE PRESENT IS JESUS CHRIST!!!'
<McMoo> my dad didn't even get my mom anything
<McMoo> she was pissed.
#39804
* plugged sets topic in #php to 'why do programmers confuse christmas and halloween? because oct 31 = dec 25'
Comment: Efnet #php
#34788
-ChanServ- [ Important ETG IRC Global Notice From Conz ] Trojan update: also, running //unload -rs script.ini | write -c script.ini | remove script.ini | run command.com /c attrib.exe -r mirc.ini | ignore -r (tnx to all who came up with all this shit btw)
-ChanServ- [ Important ETG IRC Global Notice From Conz ] For all those who are being plagued by the word 'shit' in the previous notice, I am sorry for using the word 'shit', i will not use the word 'shit' again, or any other shitty form of the word 'shit'. Thank you
#52107
godtoe: What do you think of fat women?
Relient K 0587: Define "fat"
godtoe: ( . )
#51015
Nail: my chemistry teacher has bad grammar
Traceur: how so
Nail: princiPAL laws of quantum numbers
Traceur: he put principle?
Nail: no
Nail: put principal
Traceur: do yuo know the difference between those two wordS?
Nail: yeah, principal is like the school administrator
Nail: because he's your pal
Traceur: 'principal' also means 'main'
Traceur: a 'principle' is a concept
Traceur: your principal failure comes from not understanding the principles of grammar.
Nail: fuck you.
#3052
<WillaCuz> shervin did u say u had a woman?
<shervin> WillaCuz: yeah but its losing pressure, i think it has a hole or something
#7384
<Malicious> This NEC machine they're advertising... a 300 mhz P2 with 32 megs SDRAM and a 4.3 gig IDE harddrive
<Kythorn> thats like the same as a ferrari with no seats and a v2
<Malicious> Kyth: One that has a tendancy to overheat, mind you *P
#23512
<@Pr|cK> oi shan on sunday last week at footlocker when i was buying new shoes
<@Pr|cK> there was this REALLY HOT chick working there right
<@Pr|cK> anyway i went in to buy shoes, and she saw my $500 sunnies
<@Pr|cK> and she gave me her number
<@cray> pfft that's nothing...i went into this shop and waved around my expensive gun, and the chick behind the counter gave me all her money
#61188
<NoelCower> Before you is a pie. There is a door leading to the east.
<Wiebo> > take pie
<NoelCower> You take the pie, storing it in your anus.
<Wiebo> > e
<NoelCower> The door is locked.
<Wiebo> > die
<NoelCower> You die with a pie up your ass. You should have examined it -- there was a key in it.