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#16906
<@Afterglow> . I also have a familiarity with local area networks, including DHCP, DNS, penis, and Microsoft networking file shares.
#36900
<rhyno> okay
<rhyno> I must be losing my mind
<rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station
<rhyno> because I can't find my car keys
<rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago
<DaemonX> pj station?
<rhyno> yeah
<rhyno> gas station
<rhyno> but the thing was
<rhyno> I was going there to get gas
<DaemonX> without your car?
<rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys
<rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk"
<rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I going here for.."
<rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!"
<rhyno> then walked back
<DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that
#29166
<BoZmAn20> Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste in men
<BoZmAn20> wait
<BoZmAn20> Shit.
#262095
<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
<hypnosis> (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
<Jck_true> Sweet
<Jck_true> DoS attack!!!
<hypnosis> a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
<hypnosis> 11 men would give 17 petabytes/sec
Comment: ##programming on FreeNode
#1497
<MrP-> i have pillows shipped UPS so when i get them they are already pre pounded and fluffy
#805
<DUJSHEBAE> HI, ANYONE knows which is the best programm for emulate PSX in a pentium 133?
#34600
<homerj_> DDR modes are like EASY, NORMAL, AZN
#17255
<MatthewH12> i heard StrokIt lets u use mouse 'gestures' to tell your computer what to do
<isajeep> takes mouse inputs creates shortcuts
<NickBlasta> ok so if you move your mouse up and down really fast will it go to a porn site?
<isajeep> you can do that nick
<NickBlasta> sweet
#11237
<Lord_Igsel> i remember an 11 year old kid on irc once, he had 'found out' about masturbation, and we were all laughing at him and things like "wooww what's it like how did you do itt' and then he said 'a friend showed me. i rubbed his dick, he rubbed mine.'
<Lord_Igsel> and then we got scared. :D
#185231
<Valtieri> Hey, guess what. I just pirated an mp3 of "Finish What Ya Started"
<Valtieri> The last 30 seconds are cut off
#311620
<dysk> "Target is bleeping out book descriptions, removing words like 'Nazis' and 'queer'"
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> I love overzealous auto-censors.
<dysk> That old joke about **** van **** just continues to stay relevant, doesn't it.
<YelseyKing> Yes.
<YelseyKing> Penis van Lesbian.
<dysk> Except in Target's case, "penis" and "lesbian" would be censored.
<dysk> I mean, one of the censored words was "stripper".
<dysk> Which isn't always about nude performance. Sometimes it's used for a tool (lol tool) that forestry workers use to remove the bark from wood.
<YelseyKing> t**l
<YelseyKing> I totally understand the reason why sites would do that, given that anyone who'd be so easily offended by certain words would be the same ones to throw a huge fit over seeing them.
<YelseyKing> But it doesn't make it any less stupid.
<YelseyKing> My favorite thing is when they censor a word with only a single asterisk. F*ck!
<YelseyKing> Like you can't tell what that says.
<dysk> "Holy sh*t!"
<dysk> And, of course, let's not forget ***an.
<Danika> Satan?
<dysk> (a certain country in East Asia)
<Danika> oh, Japan
<YelseyKing> The best censors are the ones that ignore spaces and punctuation, so you'll get words you didn't even type censored.
<YelseyKing> Like "cut it out" will be censored, because it ignores the space and sees "tit".
<dysk> Or "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey's hit", and the final four letters would be censored.
<YelseyKing> Yup.
<YelseyKing> Even better is if they're not censored, but replaced.
<YelseyKing> "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey'fecal matter"
#56644
hehehe8383: school was pretty fun for me cus of the teachers =P
hehehe8383: like i remember this one time in like 5th grade or something
hehehe8383: i got a bloody nose in my math class and i had on a white shirt to boot
hehehe8383: so i went to the nurse for like 10 min. while i was sittin in the nurses office, the period was over so my class left and another class came in
hehehe8383: but i still had my books there so i had to go back in
hehehe8383: so i walk into the classroom with blood stains on my shirt and holding a blood spotted tissue up to my nose
hehehe8383: so the teacher pointed at me and she goes "see what i do to kids who dont do their homework?"
hehehe8383: i swear to you, this kid next to me had a MORTIFIED look on his face as he started scribbling stuff down on some incomplete worksheet =P
#17861
<ouija666> this gay guy was bitching about only being with guys with small dicks
<ouija666> which is pointless if you have a gaping queer anus
<ouija666> so i say like
<ouija666> he needs a tattoo on his ass that reads 'you must be this tall (arrow) to ride this ride'
#19791
<Vyse`work> FUCK SNAKE
<Vyse`work> thats nice as FUCK!
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> ill show my boss ASAP
<Vyse`work> when he comes in
<Vyse`work> DUDE SNAKE
<Vyse`work> fucking move here for a job =)
<Vyse`work> my boss would so fucking fire the chick who does it now
<Vyse`work> and hire you
<Vyse`work> look at the website she is working on
<Vyse`work> dude
<Vyse`work> snake isn't here
<Vyse`work> im talking to no one
<Vyse`work> FUCK
#4746
<morganti> the problem is if I have referrer logging turned off, the images will not load because the site is trying to stop queers from linking to their content, so if the referrer is blank the image won't load....
<morganti> however I have a program that is supposed to set the referrer to the sites domain that I am visiting, but it doesn't seem to be working
<_8ight> humm. well, u go to alot of trouble to surf for porn then huh?
#2133
<Kashan> I think we should circumsize horses so they look prettier in the porn videos
#6853
* t watches win2k grind to a halt
<greg> Give it some credit. It slows down quickly.
#3348
<sector_> it was a boring uneventful game IMHO and my fucking HO is top-notch
#3435
<Maxstah> i had a cable repair call at this arian nation nazi guys house today
<Maxstah> funny his name was joseph black
<Maxstah> i told him thats ironic
<Maxstah> he got pissed
#51244
<the_fonz> i've been dating this chick
<the_fonz> it's been my most stable relationship
<the_fonz> i thought it would last a while
<the_fonz> TURNS OUT SHE'S MY COUSIN
#926
(|Chris) i've blown enough snot out of my nose today to make a fucking bukkake film
#278831
<laffy> i wanna get stoned
<assembler> go to iran then
#7120
<AgentAce1> hmm
<AgentAce1> well that's interesting
<AgentAce1> actually...that's fuckin weird ass shit
#59188
<phlip> I wear it from time to time... I don't usually think about what I'm wearing, just whichever shirt is on top of the pile ;)
<lisa> lol
<lisa> typical male i see
<phlip> well, it makes more sense than the alternative...
<phlip> I mean, who picks the shirt from the bottom of the pile every day? that's just stupid
#8590
<mrempire> humm
<mrempire> -7% burning an iso here
<mathew2> now we know why you work for PC World.