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#2224
<ViBeZz> thats the thing i dont wanna partition my hard drive
<|Z|> ViBeZz if you don't partition your HD, you're a fucking moron and you deserve to die
#1968
<MrSede> If it could balance a beer on its head without spilling I'd give it props, but any rodent can balance a pancake on its noggin
#302240
< arke> not even my computer loves me
< Antonio8> is it a dual core ? maybe it has a split personality
#6980
<chococat44> you just cant keep a good man down
<greg> Conversly, you can't keep a bad man up.
#43260
<DC_daNMan> :S My PC has just decided to just stop the moniter out put.. for some reason
<DC_daNMan> I cant make it display again..
<mikeshoup> Are you on IRC right now with it?
<DC_daNMan> Yes, I'm typing blindly.
#7442
<F|uke> I like to have sex with Enya playing in the background
<F|uke> Enya doesnt mind it either.,....she just sits, watches and plays
#677
After fatal school shooting in Littleton Colorado, 4/20/99
[18:38] <THE_RAY> Any people from the school in here?
[18:39] <scitz0> oh yah i got home from the shooting and "logged on" you idiot
[18:39] <PunCHie> i got shot in the head 4 times.. but i'm okay..
#34668
<Rjx> now I'm off taking zoloft, I'm supposed to go for a 'colon cleansing'
<Rjx> I don't know how that works
<Rjx> but I know I don't want it
#57882
<Lews> If my CPU has fused to the heatsink, is there a way to separate the two without damaging either?
#23802
<Nanobot> I wish I had a girlfriend...
<Nanobot> My only friend is a sock puppet
<Nanobot> Lucky for me though, it has a hole in it
#302079
<+Toujiron> Probably best day.
<%Misty> What happened?
<+Toujiron> I have this felt super mushroom hat, right?
<+Toujiron> I wore it out today because I'm ridiculous
<+Doak> awesome
<+Toujiron> My roommate left his work boots at home and called me to ask me to bring them to him at work, because he wouldn't have time after class.
<+Toujiron> So on my way there, I go through an intersection I usually don't because I don't have a reason to go near there, and the setting sun is in my eyes, so I have no idea that there's a stop sign there.
<+Toujiron> I am immediately pulled over by a city patrol car.
<+Toujiron> The cop walks up to my window, looks at me, my hat, and listens to my speakers for a second which are playing a rainbow road remix.
<%Misty> Please tell me he broke down laughing
<+Toujiron> Without even asking me for my ID, he leans in and says, "Son, when there's a stop sign in front of you, you have to stop hitting the golden mushroom. I know it'll disappear, but it's the law, alright?"
<%Misty> Oh that's even better
<+Toujiron> Before I could even answer that he told me to drive safe and walked away.
<+Neo-Kamek> lolololol
<+Toujiron> I have never been so entertained to be caught breaking laws.
<+Doak> Best.
<+WingedBeaux> my wife just loled at that story tou
<+WingedBeaux> is there an opposite to f my life? cause that would be it right there
#8896
<StoneTear> damn i'm hot
<StoneTear> i smell like barbequed eliteness
#27099
<@Khel> haha, I just went upstairs, got a plate out of the cupboard, got pizza out of the fridge, then left the pizza on the bench and microwaved an empty plate for 2 minutes
<@Khel> gg me
<@tung> haha you suck
<Lithios> hahahaha
<@tung> at least you know the plate is clean now
<thrax> lol thats nothing, unwrapped a mars bar, and threw it in the bin and tryed to eat the wrapper.
<Parag0n> ROFL !!!!
#70545
<Clipsy> There's a review on slashdot of a book called "Creating Web Pages with Ajax," and I was thinking
<Clipsy> I'd like to make a book called "Creating Web2.0 Content for Dummies"
<Clipsy> and then when someone opens the book
<Clipsy> a boxing glove on a spring comes out and punches them in the face
#1186
<chick> sparks makes me heppy :)
<chick> I mean HEMPY :p
#53608
ChaOSv2: hehe xbox 360 ... 'end up where you started'
#31637
<dEkOr> i wanna fucking kill myself... my cat died and i just pressed reset with my toe by accident and lost 3gb of queues
#30515
<@chort> but can you trust those crazy dutch?
<@chort> i mean, WOODEN SHOES!
<@phessler> well, they did bring us the word SABOTAGE
<@phessler> and if it's good enough for the Beastie Boys, its good enough for me
#3448
<timmo> you know what makes me laugh
<timmo> web cam chicks
<timmo> who try to lick their own nipples
<timmo> but fall short
#659
<imminent> clean keyboard
<imminent> yesss
<edible> you desemenized it?
<edible> let some cum hungry slut lick the shit out of your keyboard?
#1384
<iMike> well so long as your penis is alright
<D1> whats a penis without hands???
#757
<Primus> does any1 know how to tell just by looking, what size a RAM chip is?
#4172
<unixpeon> we need a Bush Family vs Iraq episode for MTV Deathmatch
#298750
<Valtieri> also I advocate the adding of feet/legs to Jesus fish by using silver Sharpie
#55559
MrMoog_772: mr pibb is just a lower-quality version of dr pepper
Glowsun: of course it is... dude doesn't have his degree yet