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#1794
<Semi> What good is a car with no dildos?
#265238
<celeste> i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
<celeste> but i mean....
<celeste> why wouldn't it be?
<ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
<ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
<ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
<ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of
#25448
<confuted> some israeli guy just started here
<confuted> whats the url to that suicide bomber flash game?
#22491
<@timmo> <Tw1zt1d> I've only learned one thing about IRC over the years
<@timmo> <Tw1zt1d> It's that if you talk, you get banned
<@timmo> Approve Kill Nothing
<@timmo> thats funny because i banned him
#11986
<eg0e> I saw the movie Hackers on tv last night and it was pretty impressive. If I had any idea the file manager on a macintosh was a 3D city I would have bought one long ago! Is there a similar file manager for XP that can do that?
#29917
<Picco|0z> {[io_sreep]} Can you explain what RAID is to me?
<halcy0n> isn't it two harddrives where one holds all the 1's and the other holds all the 0's?
#57086
<@codstar> rice crispies and hangovers don't go together
<@codstar> first time ive ever told a bowl of cereal to stfu
#28883
<davidc> there once was vaginal secretion
<davidc> that filled up a cup to repletion
<davidc> a vessel thus sighted
<davidc> made thumbtack excited
<davidc> so he beat himself off to completion
#32560
<@Hellfish> wow, we actually had a funny joke going till you RUINED IT with goatse
#53253
<Hoolibear:> What woman do you know that can shake her tits, ass, and cock at you all at once?
#120429
< meltingwax> If only there was a Unicode symbol for how much i hate Web 2.0
#55082
<fizzer> and we had to put condoms on the boys bananas
<fizzer> and there were too many girls in my class, so it was me and another girl with Luke
<fizzer> and he was mighty embarrassed
<koshua> Were the guys given half a nectarine and told to find the clitoris?
Comment: Sex Ed, Ozzie style
#145443
<Delirium> $this->hasFlavr() ? $nom->nom('nom') : $want->doNot()
#15448
<[mac]> whats virii?
<[mac]> the linux txt editor?
#30455
<vermifuge> so i have this girl in bed
<vermifuge> and her friend texts her
<vermifuge> to say shes pregnant
<vermifuge> colossal 21st century cock-blocking
<jube> YOUVE GOT LIMP
#33277
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet
Comment: #fark
#50695
novwithabullet: man, now I have SMB2 music stuck in my head
Deuz MA: hahaha
Deuz MA: duh-nuh-nuh-nuh duh-nuh-nuh-nuh duh-nuh-nuh-nuh DOO DOO
doo doo do dittle doo, doo doo do dittle do ..
novwithabullet: oh man, you got that spot on
Deuz MA: LOL
novwithabullet: and then there's bum-ba da dum dum ba-dum ba da dum
Deuz MA: hahahaha
Deuz MA: i totally know what one that is
novwithabullet: I like to think of SMB2 as the first mario-party game
Deuz MA: I'm trying to think of how to write the boss music
novwithabullet: it's too fast
novwithabullet: dudududududu DU DU dududududududu DU DU
#8924
<un2> should i just settle for a bmw?
<Gen`Aku> settle settle?!?!?1
<Gen`Aku> don't use the word settle and bmw in the same sentance
<Gen`Aku> unless it's about the dust settling
<Gen`Aku> BITCH
#28983
<germany> is it true that every girl and boy in france has to learn how to sew a white flag when they're in school?
#33388
<+Frosty_theoz> if being a nerd was a religion, bash would be a cathederal
#3027
<@MF_Nazi> I bet Rob wants to date a girl named Rob so he can scream his own name during sex
#115317
<Zemyla> Did I tell you about what my friend Joe did in auto shop?
<Zemyla> He was working with an arc welder, and the welder tip got stuck to the metal.
<Zemyla> He knew this was a bad thing, so he grabs a hammer and hits the metal to get the tip off.
<Zemyla> Then when he pulls back, lightning arcs from the metal to the hammer.
<Zemyla> The teacher notices this, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
<Zemyla> And Joe bellows, "I AM THOR!", brandishes the hammer, and shocks the fuck out of the guy next to him.
Comment: #cmc on Nightstar
#4819
*** Topic is 'Current IQ is, make no mistake, 0120 (your IQ is subtantially higher, if you know what that is in decimal)'
<DuneBoy> fr0zen: it looked like base 3 to me, which would mean it was 25 isn;t it??? 0(3^3) + 1(3^3) + 2(2^3) + 1?
#7426
<glasnost> i was pasting it for everyone else -[
<glasnost> err
<glasnost> =]
<glasnost> fucking sad cyclops instead of happy 2-eyes
#7194
<nit`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
<NGN-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick