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#961
<berzerker> my girlfriend is lucky because i enjoy giving oral sex
<Ash> She likes to watch, eh, berzo?
#28961
<@kingmob> does ms outlook speak nntp?
<@synec> if it did, it would be news to me
#1574
<jessafk> ;) your just too smart for me
<tress> you're grammar astounds me
#281442
<Pentavite> you know those cliffs and ledges and etc. that have suicide hotline phones nearby?
<Pentavite> I think the govt should designate them as suicide points, for efficiency
<Pentavite> so people know a good way to kill themselves
<Pentavite> just send someone every now and then to pick up the bodies
<GenericLoser> You'd have to post road signs, too.
<GenericLoser> "Suicide Point -- Dead Ahead."
#2094
<Miss_RPM> they used to say i was named after some chick dad saw in a dirty magazine..
#888
<rob`> highschool was the best 7 years of my life
#8277
(Moose_): what's your language of choice ?
(rich): english?
#9252
<Burnquist__> : /msg NickServ@services.dal.net IDENTIFY jillhanna
<Burnquist__> fuck
*** Burnquist__ (FBI@TeraPro33-41.cable-lynx.net) Quit (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by ne14a69)))
#303436
* aqualis does science to Deltantor
=-= Deltantor is now known as rotnatleD
<ronatleD> !tuo edinsi em denrut uoy
* aqualis gazes upon his creation with disgust and horror
Comment: irc.foonetic.net #xkcd
#5443
<Goku> :O
<kepler> hold that face goku
*kepler unzips
*aegis runs away
#5778
<guest> u kno what rules
<guest> introducing girls to pot
<yesue> no lie
<guest> u smoke pot alone with a girl for the first time
<guest> there is a 250% chance of getting laid
#304516
<Sebas> When I was working as an orderpicker, I had to get some assorted terrycloth towels. "Terrycloth" in Dutch is "badstof", and both that and "assorted" get abbreviated, so on my list it said I needed 5 "bad ass towels".
#10994
<Hiryuu> When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
#29938
<ck02> i found out today my favorite pair of pants is from the GAP
<ck02> i took 15 showers in a row but i still feel dirty
#28488
<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with the camera.
#4525
<drlion> i think all the spam broke my god damn mailbox
<drlion> porn is fucking up the internet
<drlion> and we can do nothing but watch
<RabYak> heh...nice choice of words :)
<drlion> thanks, and i don't mean idiomatically
#21790
* @Super-Vipeo [Super Mario Brothers Theme Song-Nintendo] - [0.65mb; 1:24; 64kbps; 44khz; mono]
<@Cockroach> I saw a quicktime movie of a guy playing that on the piano
<@Cockroach> and about every other mario song
<@Cockroach> was kind of scary... then people on the CS forum started posting about learning sailor moon songs on their clarinets
<@Cockroach> and suddenly the Mario guy was normal again...
#46012
<turtlecrap> yeah soon the whole of irc will be flooder by shit dribbling
<Pen_Pen> turtlecrap must be lagged badly.
<Pen_Pen> Like six years.
#26404
<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B
#295480
<@Tenor> 'Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML'
<@Tenor> I'm going to be that type of parent
<@hsimah> who would have sex with you?
#9237
<jixn|breakfast> BRB: Going to Europe.
#56852
Ducky: So here I am, on Google earth, spying on my ex, when she calls.
Ducky: and I’m all freaking out, because I’m thinking that she knows I’m spying on her.
Leila: Dude, you know that Google earth isn’t live right?
Ducky: Shit. Now she thinks I’m stupid and an asshole!
Leila: You TOLD her that you were spying on her?
Ducky: Um… yeah.
Leila: wow, you are stupid.
#19296
<Himeko> what does splitting dessert have to do with being gay
<RokChik> b/c
<RokChik> mostly only couples split desserts
<Himeko> hmmm
<Himeko> how about drinking from the same straw?
<RokChik> yep
<unity_> having sex?
<Himeko> damn
<Himeko> i'm gay
#32220
<notlodar> i sent them cash in the mail, is that bad?
<mrpeabody> notlodar: that's good, sending credit card info over the internet isn't safe
<mrpeabody> because of hackers
<mrpeabody> and also viruses
<mrpeabody> and possibly linux
#300849
<MunInFull> So I've got an mp3 of Biggie's Mesmerize as my ringtone? I was at a bodega buying tamales this morning, it went off, and this little cholo thug just started dancing in line, told me to keep that bitch waiting because this was a good song. Afterwards, we fistbumped. I felt ethnic.