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#49239
<looksofat> i got 17 cents for food in the next week but i got CoD 2 preordered and pre-payed and IT OWNS ASS
#3743
<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy
#309079
12:28:31] <e0x> i use G+ , in fact is the only social network beside irc that i use
<e0x> ( yes irc is a social network )
<`WarpKat> irc is not a social network - it's where i come to waste time most of the day without doing anything productive at work.
<`WarpKat> ...
<`WarpKat> ok.
<`WarpKat> maybe it IS a social network.
#311241
<technoid> All of the shirts say "slimmer fit". Are there any "unix admin" sized ones?
#281442
<Pentavite> you know those cliffs and ledges and etc. that have suicide hotline phones nearby?
<Pentavite> I think the govt should designate them as suicide points, for efficiency
<Pentavite> so people know a good way to kill themselves
<Pentavite> just send someone every now and then to pick up the bodies
<GenericLoser> You'd have to post road signs, too.
<GenericLoser> "Suicide Point -- Dead Ahead."
#37814
mkjbOO7: i need to set up an FTP
mkjbOO7: for pictures or chmod shit
Muerlio: kooz i think you may have surpassed my friend asking "whats faster tcp/ip or ftp"
#27258
<@^DPK^> and I also learned that women are like parking spaces...all the good ones are taken, and the rest are either handicapped or too far away
#29125
<auntbunny> meandthespacebarhadanargumentandnowwearenttalking
#311229
<Jigsy> A Nightmare on Elm Street was an inside job. WAKE. UP. PEOPLE!
#40176
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: yeah, like masturbation
Adam Atlas: Heh.
Adam Atlas: Go make the sound of one hand clapping.
Adam Atlas: I like that euphemism even better.
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: me too
Adam Atlas: My personal favorite, though, is "dealing with the issue at hand." It sounds very professional, in a cryptic sort of way.
Adam Atlas: "Please excuse me, I need to go deal with the issue at hand."
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: or you could put it in a letter
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: "Madam or Sir, we are sending this letter in regards to the issue at hand"
Adam Atlas: But what if the person asks what the issue is? It would be hard to respond
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: just say it's a "personal matter"
Ilan Bouchard-Gordon: hehe
#50008
<@Jake> to fix it
<@Jake> type //say $decode(aGkgDQogcXVpdCA6aW0gZ2F5,m)
<Curse_of_Dragon> hi
* Quits: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com) (QUIT: im gay)
* Joins: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com)
<Curse_of_Dragon> what was that about?
<@Jake> you did it wrong
<@Jake> try again
<Curse_of_Dragon> hi
* Quits: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com) (QUIT: im gay)
* Joins: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com)
<Curse_of_Dragon> for some reason mirc keeps quitting
<Curse_of_Dragon> i'll try it again because i dont think i did it right
<Curse_of_Dragon> hi
* Quits: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com) (QUIT: im gay)
* Joins: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com)
Comment: ..noobs.
#38557
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions
#39904
<Puunukke> A Russian lieutenant stands on a cliff with his crew. He looks down, and points at one of his privates.
<Puunukke> - You there. Stand here on the edge, stick your right hand out and jump down.
<Puunukke> The lieutenant watches the soldier fall down and shouts to the next one.
<Puunukke> - You! Come here, point your left hand and left foot forward and jump down.
<Puunukke> The lieutenant again watches the soldier fall, thinks for a minute and shouts again.
<Puunukke> - You there. Come lie down here on the edge, put your right foot up and roll over to the chasm.
<Puunukke> The lieutenant continues until a general arrives at the scene shouting at the lieutenant.
<Puunukke> - Lieutenant Vasiljev, how many times do I have to tell you not to play Tetris at work?
#31763
<Rumpelteazer> have you ever drunk hand cream
<Rumpelteazer> I don't feel at all well
<Rumpelteazer> the original bottle broke, and all I had handy was my old coffee cup.
<Rumpelteazer> the bottle broke when I tripped over an old ps2 controller my husband had attatched to my computer for unknown reasons
<Rumpelteazer> and I returned to my desk with a big cup of coffee.
<Rumpelteazer> and I mixed the two cups up.
#6098
<#seattle/ThisGirl> SONOFABITCH
<#seattle/ThisGirl> i hate it when ppl ask me if im male or female
#59146
<madman> Perhaps I'm a bit racist.
<madman> This Mexican guy called saying he was interested in the car I was selling, so I give him the directions to my house.
<madman> I see him pull up in his truck, and so I go outside to greet him, guess what I say?
<madman> "Hey Pedro!"
<madman> I'm about to apologize when he says, "How'd you know my name? I didn't even tell you!"
<madman> Talk about lucky.
#14513
<Stay99>but anyway, back to me. I want to be the ruler of the world. Sometimes-I play ruler of the world in my basement when noone else is home
#6757
<Belhade> my gf wanted to use Saran Wrap one night when we didn't have anything else
<Belhade> I was like, uhm, no, it's a dick, not a turkey sandwich
<Dipstick`> it's beef... but not that kind of beef
<Belhade> caucasian...the other white meat
#9128
(Striker): 42 is the answer to the biggest question
(Smoke): what question
#301943
<scgtrp> "This License Agreement is effective until terminated."
<scgtrp> NO WAY
#52089
<Epesh> danielle's rack isn't huge but she's well-formed, like an XML document with proper namespacing and closures
#310861
<jacquilyn> Eh. Being kicked out of the lab.
<Agent_Orange> wear pants next time. They like that
<Leth> agt: but the sign only reads "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service." Pants aren't ever mentioned
<Agent_Orange> leth: I've tried that argument many times and it *usually* ends in bitter disappointment
#56577
<@Stupid_0> Never compromise your principles, except to get laid or if there's a chance of a pay rise.
#5320
<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders
#67376
<SuperJuan> ffs
<SuperJuan> why doesn't the jobcentre website have a section for "jobs where you can irc and smoke weed at work"
<smilertoo> they do, they're listed under tech support