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#6322
ted: woman plus invisible man = the perfect porn
craig: Actually, woman + visible woman is the perfect porn, but this is a close second.
#3905
<Rbrt> i have decided to file for a divorce
<nharris> Rbrt.. wise move
<Rbrt> yepp neil
<closedown> did you just have a kid?
<Rbrt> yes i did
<nharris> my brother's inlaws are DICKS.. except his bro in law..he's cool
<Rbrt> the kid doesnt change the fact that she's a psycho
<closedown> ah
<closedown> my gf's trying to hint at marriage
<closedown> that would surely cut into my irc time
#1749
<timmo> what music should i download tonight
<timmo> oh shit
<timmo> i think im missing the carebears;[
<c-rOCK> CAREBEARS IS STILL ON?
<c-rOCK> NO WAY WHAT CHAN
<timmo> toon disney
<c-rOCK> dude I loved that show
#7177
<Tyson> kegs rule
<Tyson> im gonna marry one
<Mousey> ill have an affair with it
#7623
<Beesta> it's clearly time to go home
<Beesta> I just wrote "getCumming" insted of "getCommunications"
<Beesta> *shudder*
#220433
<parp> lmao
<parp> Journey is playing in my area
<parp> I had no idea they were still together.
<Rjx> you stopped believing
Comment: #geekissues
#32627
<docsigma2000> Things like that really make me feel bad about myself, though... what right do I have to complain when I stub my toe, when there are guys out there DRIVING AROUND WITH SHARKS ON THEIR LEGS?
#53876
darkkittengod: whats ur favorite kind of asian?
spectr060: female
#43085
<Hardstuff> I am THE internet
<Kushan> dude, your body consists of 90% porn?
#10926
<Macca_> hi all
<Macca_> can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it hasn't been as
easy as i thought it might be
#105
<Theseus-> i love funk music so much... that sometimes i wish i was black and then i remember that i might want to get a job some day
#8252
<HomerHendelBergenHeinzel> ur so mean :L
<q> is that the frowning face of a stroke victim?
#298704
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
#2382
(Pro_Mark) dOkTeR-- i jerked three times today
(tp9com) i think doin it in the morn fuggs u up
(ackbar) its because once youve ejaculated for the day theres no point in even being alive
#301451
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird
#21391
<Waffles111> does "nihon ni sukimashita" bean "I have arrived in Japan"?
<Waffles111> oh, nevermind
<Waffles111> it was "tsukimashita"
<Cap`nRatboy> it means "jesus, theres tentacles in holes i didnt even know i had."
#82688
Robin: goats eat their placentas
Pan Man 120: i actually could have lived without knowing that
Robin: so do some people
Pan Man 120: efuckingw
Pan Man 120: heres an idea robin
Pan Man 120: why dont we talk about kittens
Robin: cats have barbed dicks
#9220
<jre> A WHORE WAS HAVING A LIQUIDATION SALE
#2730
[xite] i hate movies with abrupt endings
[xmas_hate] ya i hate when i only download clips of porn too
#326
[CaptHowdy] [~] $ touch /dev/genitalia
[CaptHowdy] touch: /dev/genitalia: Permission denied
#6631
<Hawx> wtf is Scotty
<Shinji> Hawx - ScottyFox, he's in here occasionaly, I used to live with him in Canada.
<Hawx> scottyfox is one letter away from being scattyfox
<Shinji> Hawx - and you're four letters away from being 'fuck'.
<Hawx> :D
#52744
<Nanuq> Steakk: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy, B: A pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: A large properly formatted data file?"
<Steakk> Nanuq: depends...whats in the data file?
#138095
<Ace_NoOne> I now believe that the Wikipedia folk assassinate people so they can be the first to report their deaths
#381
<^0_o^> i'm a girl's dream!
<^0_o^> if only i had a chance to prove myself...
<DooD> a paper bag will give u many chances
<DooD> if they cant see the face, they cant use the mace
#56333
<Analogy> Hahaha, we played the best prank today
<Analogy> I was doing a T-Wolves show for FSN, and me and a couple of the other camera guys decide to freak out our engineer
<Analogy> We put a camera on the ground like it was unattended and held some saran wrap in front of the lens, then we gave this kid a sharpie and had him draw on the saran wrap so it looked like he was drawing on the lens
<Analogy> These lenses run like $30k, by the way
<Analogy> The engineer was back in the truck and he saw this happening on one of the monitors, he BURSTS out of the truck and runs full-tilt onto the court.
<Analogy> And we had another camera pointed at the entrance with one of the videotape guys recording it back in the truck
<Analogy> It's great, the engineer kicking our asses is the first item on tonight's basketball game highlight reel