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#44998
<@Josho> can't believe i fit so much shit in the dishwasher
<@Josho> tetris skills paying off
#19356
X25 subnet: you know what i realized as i was rebooting
X25 subnet: if it wasn't for the yellow light bulb and his daily tips
X25 subnet: i wouldn't know shit about computers
#87882
<Liontamer> Aight, gonna roll in a few, and I'll be gone until probably midnight
<djpretzel> what's up? just work?
<Liontamer> WWE's in Baltimore; got tix
<djpretzel> oh my
<djpretzel> next time I ask, and the answer involves adult males groping each other for spectacle, just lie and say work
#279301
<yoshi> Why someone just rode by my house playing a William Tell overture on a trumpet at 7 AM in the rain, I will never know.
#11122
<Super_User_2> the very first time I practiced driving I scared the shit
out of my dad. It was a manual transmission truck. I had it in first and
tired to shift, but the timing on the clutch was fucked up and it just
spun, but the pedal was lighter then I thought and I floored it. The
truck sounded like it was doing 90 and my nervous laugh sounded maniacal.
He just screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as we moved about 1/2 mile an hour...
he drove home.
#7772
<ph^pr0phet> i got kicked in the balls earlier in the summer
<chaowork> ouch
<Booger> hah
<chaowork> by a chick?
<Booger> try to NOT do that
<ph^pr0phet> yea
<ph^pr0phet> heh
<Booger> or wear a nutcup
<chaowork> u need to learn to stand sideways when u hit on em
#5971
<Pseudonym> I got my mom addicted to GTA3 by accident ><
#50574
EternalFootman: 25g of wafers and 20mL of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of Jesus. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
LittleBunny32: if you assume that the material properties of GOD possess an infinite enthalpy, and obviously that of mortal materials are finite, then the transubstantiation process requires an infinite amount of energy and will freeze the entire universe. Alternately, if we assume they can be transmuted from the infinite creative capabilities (and energy) of GOD, then by combusting them we can receive an infinite amount of free energy and the catholic church is holding out on us
#39526
< The_Q> su - 9070b574c12
< The_Q> aww man. ignore that -- it's not my root password!!!!!
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx] has quit ["0wned"]
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx has joined #channel]
< The_Q> Hey, wtf happened to my box?!?!
#303421
<boikpark> The guy was found dead in his apartment with his penis in a jar of peanut butter, apparently.
<Sohcahtoa> Well it sounds like that guy...
* Sohcahtoa puts on his sunglasses
<Sohcahtoa> ...was fucking nuts.
<Sohcahtoa> YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH
#18850
<ieatrocks> you know what i love?
<ieatrocks> WWJD
<ieatrocks> fuckin a
<ieatrocks> because
<ieatrocks> its all about how you think of jesus
<ieatrocks> so when im in a pinch
<ieatrocks> i say WWJD
<ieatrocks> and i think of jesus as a dope slinging disco dancing pimp ass mofo
<ieatrocks> and then i do it
<ieatrocks> jesus likes to kick things, slack off, and insult people
<ieatrocks> he and i would get along great
#53148
<leif> last night, we were at WalMart, and this dude was playing the 360 demo station..
<leif> and we watched for a bit
<leif> he was getting his ass shot up
<leif> so Mike says "Let's go somewhere else, this guy fucking sucks"
<leif> the kid slammed the controller and stormed off with tears in his eyes
<leif> i was like.. "Sweet, now I can play"
#51854
<Mark> oh yeah. so my roommate got me to sit down and play need for speed underground on the xbox. he thought it would be funny because i was drunk, so i would fuck up, and he would laugh at me. except i ended up doing better and beating a bunch of races i wasnt able to do sober.
<Mark> which means im a better driver when im drunk
<Mark> i just have to find a way to explain that to the police.
#40955
<@Goremageddon> i use to fuck up alot when i started
<@Goremageddon> i gave a hot water enema to a 60 year old patient once
<@Goremageddon> and i didnt watch out
<@Goremageddon> so she shat all over me
<@Goremageddon> that fucking sucked
Comment: #blackdeath-cult
#298754
<FoH> If you make a glancing reference to those islands southwest of Alaska, is it an Aleutian allusion?
<FoH> If it's only an imaginary reference, is it an Aleutian allusion illusion?
<FoH> If it's difficult to reckon, is it an elusive Aleutian allusion illusion?
<Renee> and if its hard to put your finger on the imaginary glancing reference of riding a Spanish horse on those islands it is a ellusive Aleutian Andalusian allusion illusion
<FoH> And that's the elusive Andalusian Aleutian allusion illusion alliteration for the day.
#269
n e r d b 5: i smell a burning smell
n e r d b 5: maybe its my pc
n e r d b 5: oh wait, ewww, its the cat pooping
#303376
(@who-ha) Random story time, okay.
(@who-ha) I'm like, 10 years old
(@who-ha) I just got my first bottle of cologne, right
(@who-ha) so I'm playing around with it
(@who-ha) sprayed it everywhere
(@who-ha) so I put some in a cup
(@who-ha) and stick my dick in it.
(@who-ha) I cried myself to sleep.
(@Sanitized) ........
(@who-ha) I'm dead serious.
#46537
<farax> Silence time!
<farax> If anyone talks again after his/hre last line, (s)he gets kickbanned for a day.
<farax>his/her*
*** farax sets mode: +b *!*@*.nyc*.verizon.net
*** farax has been kicked by farax (SILENCE!)
<yoo> Definitive proof that females will be the death of us all...
#75285
<Buck> a religious discussion on digg is like asking which power ranger is the strongest in kindergarten
#318
<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.
#41250
(+BarnacleBob): the ipod isn't all that great... i should have looked around and got a cheeper one with same sized hd and a recording feature
(+BarnacleBob): i pods are by far the dominant portable music player in san francisco.... even over regular cd players
(@Zaphod): But on the other hand, gay sex is by far the preffered sexual persuasion in San Fransisco, but that doesn't mean its best for the rest of the planet :)
Comment: #ctrlaltdel on irc.afterx.net
#52939
<Luncheon> i like my women how i like my whiskey... 12 years old and from scotland
#550
<Ash> KIEV, Ukraine (AP) -- A Ukrainian candy company has begun marketing what may be the stickiest, richest and most fattening holiday treat on the market: pure pork fat covered in chocolate.
#53794
< withnail> apparently when we were all apes they used to get a gang of like 5 males and take it in turns on a female ape while the others held her down
< jijicat> withnail: that's a good example of cooperation and working together
#2410
(cooey) my cat eats meat. my cat eats timbits. my cat eats celery. my cat eats my weed. my cat eats bits of paper and hair that look like food. my cat =wont= eat a piece of a burger out of a big mac.
(cooey) i should learn from my cat.