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#7788
<\slash> masturbation is like tekken 2: after a while your hand begins to FUCKING hurt, but you keep on going because you're enjoying yourself too much.
#10890
<gldnmean> I always thought "The sound of one hand clapping" would be good zen masturbation slang
#213047
<mancha> the ancient greeks believed the heart was the thinking organ
<mancha> of course, we know now they were wrong. it's the penis.
<DemisM> Mancha: What´s the female´s thinking organ?
<mancha> DenisM, exactly!
#59188
<phlip> I wear it from time to time... I don't usually think about what I'm wearing, just whichever shirt is on top of the pile ;)
<lisa> lol
<lisa> typical male i see
<phlip> well, it makes more sense than the alternative...
<phlip> I mean, who picks the shirt from the bottom of the pile every day? that's just stupid
#4643
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSSS; got it working
<Const> Your penis?
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSS!
#297713
<tyranny12> and i quote the television: 'Foster's. Get some Australian in you. <pause, woman's voice comes on> Am I pregnant?'
#18377
<jitspoe> birds don't have a penis
<Zim|DP> jit: but they have a pecker =)
#307670
< Novice> It's not a computer anymore. It's a member of Norton's botnet.
#1213
*** Now talking in #hardcoremp3
*** Topic is 'Welcome to #hardcoremp3, fred dursts phone # 310-865-1000 finally a use for www.dialpad.com PRANK THAT SOB'
#37846
<ashura> anyone here familiar with emacs commands
<ashura> I tried to quit and now I don't appear to have gone anywhere. ^_^;
<bork> C-g C-g C-g C-g C-x C-c
<Maz> That sounds like someone choking to death.
#50857
<%robert> we should do a group suicide
<%robert> it could be fun
<%robert> and if not, well, we just won't do it again
Comment: #wpi
#66436
<Wax_on_whack_off> men, my roommate had a fierce seizure in the bathtub
<iris23> that's really sad to hear, did you help him? Is he okay now?
<Wax_on_whack_off> he helped me actually
<iris23> ?
<Wax_on_whack_off> I threw in my dirty clothes... they are clean now
<iris23> you utter bastard!!!! that's not funny!!! >:(
#2167
*** Topic in #cars is 'saab's look like confused suitcases with wheels'
#54830
<DesScorp> mmmmm
<DesScorp> chinese food
<DesScorp> don't know what I ate
<DesScorp> but it was good
<DesScorp> buffet!
<DesScorp> 83 different items!
<DesScorp> (82 of them probably some form of chicken)
<DesScorp> (I hope)
<KArmA> cooked cat looks remarkably like chicken
<DesScorp> so
<DesScorp> I can say I ate pussy then
<KArmA> you ate dead pussy
<KArmA> in a thick, gravy-like sauce
#304152
<konaya> Right, I'm having a slight dilemma here.
<nickp666> konaya: sup?
<konaya> If I take the lift, I'll probably timeout on IRC.
<konaya> But I'm too lazy to take the stairs.
<rekoil> is the lift faster than freefall konaya?
<konaya> rekoil, that would be funny but no
<rekoil> you could throw the laptop, take the lift and catch it
<rekoil> thus remaining connected!
[...]
<konaya> Hm. They've fixed the wlan coverage in the elevators.
<konaya> I see my letters of complaint finally paid off then.
Comment: #idroid-dev@irc.macos86.hu
#299
<Guilty> Dont you know, if theres a hot white chick on a show, she invariably ends up with the "sweet, but rugged" black thug
<Guilty> It's an FCC regulation
#223328
<toastido> SO... Dr. Phil says that there is a 'cheating' gene
<GaidinBDJ> toastido: Yea, it's called "Y"
Comment: #fark
#26431
<snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and stuff
<taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
<grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
<grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port, please supply me with another"
<snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck your self
#19290
<justin3> I want a a pet rock shaped as the pope
#307555
Sarig: problem with satelites is ping
Sarig: You don't know what lightspeed is until you try to game over a geostationary satelite
#26405
<scabb> Yeah, you still have to wear condoms when you're having sex with a dead person, otherwise she might give birth to ZOMBIES, who will CONQUER THE WORLD. And that's never a good thing. That's why necrophilia is outlawed.
#101951
<michael__> can someone help me with my internet coennection
<Khrajin> michael__: I assure you it is working.
Comment: #ubuntu
#44151
<Alkaline2k> i have no soul after goatse
<Alkaline2k> it's like a black abyss that sucks in all joy
<Alkaline2k> and then it just ruins my day when i have to reach in there and take it back out
#6126
* nailer/#lgl is a chocoholic. But for alchohol :)
#7312
<aegis> my penis fits in electrical sockets!