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#310576
<@kitchen> I logged into yahoo account after probably 100 years of not. got email "unexpected login attempt" even yahoo wasn't expecting me to ever log in again
#303306
<ratty> It's really sad cycling past people who are drunk at 9:20 am. I mean, I can't have a beer for 8 more hours.
#1143
<MadHatter> I did a search for "madhatter efnet" on google and the first thing I see is:
<MadHatter> <MadHatter> I cut my tongue shaving
<MadHatter> that's great
#279
<gloone> internet, movies and masturbation ruined my life.
<gloone> but it also made it worthwhile
#282392
<sereni> What the hell.
<sereni> It's not my fault the kid came up to my fucking window and stood there for 5 minutes before his parents did anything.
<sereni> Yeah, I have blinds for a reason, but you're a god damn parent for a reason.
#42333
<penor> i hate the world
<penor> im gonan go kill myself
<APE> dont stain the carpet
<penor> my mom would kill me if I did that
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#428
<VicViper> NerdSex #73: Make sure you select the option "Always on Top"
#35101
IQphat: you should see kill bill 2, it's great
eaglfan2021052: i was waitin for 2 to come out
eaglfan2021052: on DVD
eaglfan2021052: so i can watch em together
eaglfan2021052: and get it cheaper
eaglfan2021052: cuz im a jew
IQphat: I just downloaded it
IQphat: because I'm a jew with DSL
eaglfan2021052: word.
#19736
* eMeow-v2 reads ircnews.com and cries
<sjh> what is ircnews.com
<eMeow-v2> sjh: god I am pissing in my pants
<sjh> cause really it sounds like a bigger waste of bandwidth than irc itself
<eMeow-v2> sjh: it is
<eMeow-v2> sjh: credibility of slashdot, looks of microsoft.com, and sanity of geocities
<sjh> you do realise the three sites you just used for that example are interchangable within the example for the same effect
<eMeow-v2> sjh: what I just said is "sucks x3"
#34828
<everest> hahahahaha
<everest> this gas station offered "unleaded, premium, chronic"
<everest> err
<everest> evidently none of what i just said is true.
* everest erases all of your memories
<SlackDug> wha .. what just happened?
<SlackDug> i feel like i blacked out
<everest> must have been an isolated and completely natural incident
* Swight takes away everest's "flashy thing"
<everest> this wouldn't be the first time i've gotten in trouble for flashing my thing
Comment: #geekissues
#102697
<Rowan> gonna go to the store when it opens and buy some caffiene/caffeine
<&segosa> caffeine.
<Kotjze> i before e except in a lot of words
<&segosa> or you could just know how to spell words and not require stupid rules
<Kotjze> exactly
<Rowan> i dont think ive spelled that word much
<Rowan> and i keep running into words that ARENT I before E
<Rowan> like weird, atheist, broom
<Kotjze> broom?
#20844
<A-C> This is great...
<A-C> MS Spellchecker just told me to hyphenate mother-fucker.
#310290
<Mango> Do you ever have to change a password, and then get sad, because you really liked the old password and got attached to it in the short time it was yours?
<Mango> It's like we cultivated a relationship or something.
#295981
<+Biiaru> Admittedly, calculus is like sucking dick. I don't very much want to do it, but I have to get to college somehow.
Comment: #zelda
#18809
<Kapplar> Ben, are you on a Static IP?
<Sticky Perez> Heh
<Sticky Perez> Maybe
<Sticky Perez> ;)
<Sticky Perez> I can be Static or Dynamic
<Sticky Perez> Depends which box I check
<Kapplar> Oh baby
<Kapplar> Dual IP'age turns me on
<Kapplar> Talk dirty to me more
#7760
<HeXonXonX> I'm beginning to think the Playboy channel isn't based on reality. I don't see my neighbors running through sprinklers naked or inviting me over for orgies.
#311531
<pflanze> in any case, I can see why you changed your userid from ``bigassniggaonascooterdrinkingcaprisun`` before launching the business
#15183
<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe". i didn't get the job.
#17023
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know
#304862
<FuegoFish> Natural Weapon basically has the following options: imitating an Arcane spell, or being a built-in Martial weapon
<FuegoFish> which means that yes you could have gunhands if you wanted
<FuegoFish> or a crossbow for a dick
Comment: #partyhard, irc.synirc.net
#228
<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard
#301596
< Larscis> How long do most printers last?
< Larscis> Because my HP Photosmart 3310 from 2006 finally died today. Quite spectacularly.
< Tamber> oh?
< Larscis> Yes. The seal on the ink resevoir broke through
< Larscis> And the pressure the pump built up caused the ink to spray all over the inside of the printer.
< Larscis> Never before have I had a printer attempt to demonstrate to me what happens with a burst aorta.
#8684
<Pryk> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll.
#31273
Heywire22: OMG CLOSE YOUR PANTS IF YOUR GONNA DO THAT ON WEBCAM
Heywire22: Fuck
Heywire22: Wrong fucking window
Heywire22: Shit shit shit
Frusciante 36: jesus
Frusciante 36: who you talking to?!
#50251
<Evil_Timmy> wow, just realized that the last couple of people ive slept with have been people i met on irc
<Evil_Timmy> i'm a netrosexual