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#54306
<Daszoeb> wtf
<Daszoeb> some girls shouldnt be allowed online
<Daszoeb> seriously
<Daszoeb> she goes and buys a wireless router
<Daszoeb> takes it out of the box
<Daszoeb> it doesnt work
<Daszoeb> so she calls support
<Daszoeb> I ask if the power cord is plugged into the router
<Daszoeb> she responds "no I threw the wires away - I bought a wireless product"
<Daszoeb> then when I told her we need a power cord in the unit
<Daszoeb> she got all pissed and asked why the case said wireless
<Daszoeb> after 5 minutes of mindless debate I "accidently" pressed the mute button and after 10 minutes she hung up
#103426
Justin: Is there something wrong with only having women I can trust deeply enough to call on for advice with life's curveballs?
Scaramouche: Nope.
Scaramouche: Women are infinitely better than men at that sort of thing.
Justin: Probably.. but shouldn't I try to get a male perspective on things too?
Scaramouche: You HAVE a male perspective, remember?
Justin: Oh ya...
Scaramouche: LMAO
#2310
<CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..
<CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience... soon......
<CYBORG> i need brave partener....
<CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........
#300741
<adimarco> it amuses me that, even when eating treats, cats just instinctively know to rapidly shake their head back and forth a few times to make sure the spine is broken.
<zinger> i do the same with donuts
#16744
<Joelz> im gonna savet hgis log so I can prove im drunk
#20459
<deathazre> somebody stole twish's vanilla cock
<deathazre> er, coke
<deathazre> ^_^
<TheOrgasmicMe> mmm vanilla cock
<whatboy> maybe it was missy elliot
<whatboy> o.O
<TheOrgasmicMe> if cock tasted like vanilla i would be gay
#188547
<Technocactus> It was actually better when my dad found my porn than when he found out I watched Oprah.
#7749
<ViViD> Dude I'm still getting 20ms pings!
<RTT> err thats normal
<ViViD> Yeah but I just doubled my upload bandwidth!
<RTT> Yes?
<ViViD> Well why hasn't my ping halfed?
<RTT> Dude doubling your upload bandwidth wont affect your ping
<ViViD> Shutup you geek
#83676
<Ahabman> When I was at purdue, I was wearing my uniform to go to a lecture I was giving.
<Ahabman> Some girl called me a "baby killer"
<Ahabman> I stopped and said "lady, I'm in the Coast Guard. I don't kill babies. I kill baby seals."
#1116
<var> hrmm
<var> how the fuck did a shortcut to e13ay end up on my desktop
<var> what kinda nefarious shit is windows update pulling
<Guilty> It's your computers way of saying it wants a new owner
<Guilty> Like a dog scratching on the door to get out
#307624
<Jargon> We don't HAVE BEer pong here in Belgium
<Jargon> The idea that you can somehow "Win" at drinking is purely an American thing
<Quantum_Meddler> So you don't have drinking games there?
<Jargon> no
<Jargon> well
<Jargon> actually yes
<Jargon> there is one
<Jargon> You may have heard of it
<Jargon> It's called "going out and getting laid"
#310959
<%n473> so I migrated our first client site to our new cloud environment yesterday
<%n473> and literally the very first browsing log we got
<%n473> on our first site
<%n473> first cloud-active client
<%n473> was a pornhub search for "big ass blonde lesbian milfs"
#11116
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once
< cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit
< cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out
< cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard
#7883
<djrm> Q what is the penalty for exceeding your space quota?
<Alaric> death by pineapple
<djrm> ooo err
#11987
*** {JPM} changes topic to 'Welcome to IRC! The Home of fat chics and skinny guys.'
#311357
<netham45> Bash.org is offline
<netham45> But it responds to SSH.
<netham45> I tried to log into their SSH as 'ERROR CRITICAL BASH.ORG IS DOWN' in hopes their log management system picks up on the keywords.
#10798
<Sparky> My new years resolution is 1280x1024.
#22478
<nicolle14> whats the point of being a techie dork if you don't dload porn?
<MrWabam> someday... my techie dorkness will find a techigodess who is impressed by the size of my hd and want to bang me
<MrWabam> and she'll be real, and hot.... Hotter than my CPU
<nicolle14> What's a "CPU"?
#306964
<+taras> my take on the world has improved since Firefox started giving me The Onion instead of BBC News when i type 'news' in the address bar
Comment: #bitfolk
#305512
<snaphat> what does ({}) mean?
<snaphat> i tried googling and google doesn't even know
<NN> snaphat: Unless I'm quite mistaken, female genetalia.
<snaphat> thats what I thought, but I i've never seen it before
#1680
<timmo> if i were to take a stab in the dark as to what josh is pissed about
<timmo> i would have to say its women troubles
<josho> next time you take a stab at something, aim for your eye
#12078
Jammer sticks a pistol up Meeko's butt and shoots a few rounds into her.
<Meeko> NO! MY GERBILS!
Meeko cries as gerbils plop out
#61663
<pm-> i am going into the bathroom now to count my money
<pm-> you guys ever do that?
<rigel> if by "count my money" you mean "masturbate" then yes
Comment: #philosophy
#4378
<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap
#309357
<Sorts> Mind. Blown.
<pooryoric> ...What a charmingly tiny explosion. :P