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#301226
<crschmidt> twitter is terrible
<crschmidt> but i use it as well
<crschmidt> i, in fact, twitterd from the altar, when I got married
<crschmidt> and 6 phones in the audience went off
#18202
<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge
#53153
<+Durandal> you said you'd be right back
<+r0bin> yeah
<+r0bin> An hour an ten minutes is "right"
<+Durandal> ah
<+r0bin> Espescially since my average "bbl" is three to four months
<+Durandal> heh, that's for damn sure
<+r0bin> :P
<+Durandal> of course i've been known to disappear for a year
<+Durandal> or more
<@kefx> r0bin: haha
<+r0bin> Durandal: that's my "afk"
Comment: #metawire
#297160
< MYOB> Borders' website just died entirely on me in the middle of a satisfaction survey
< expensivelesbian> ha ha
< expensivelesbian> "how would you rate our website?"
< expensivelesbian> on a scale of 1 to 404
Comment: freenode
#3990
<Lowtax> Command and Conquer? Is that being the movie with Regis & kathy Lee?
#2871
[incorrect] no, we're all using pens, paper and carrier pidgeons
[incorrect] actually, maybe that's what PPP stands for
#4724
* spockdude rustles smoothly and gingerly
<Wyatt> spockdude: Careful, don't exhaust your vocabulary
<furan> haha
#2911
* Berzerker gets hungry
* Berzerker eats his e's
*** Berzerker is now known as Brzrkr
#8217
<noskill> I was banned from my junior highs network for having every printer in the school print 5000 pages of "FEED ME PAPER!" simultaneously
#40211
<laurent> i went to go support a user earlier
<laurent> turns out this hottie in the sales department was having mouse problems
<laurent> and shes talking to me while wearing a veeeery revealing top combo
<laurent> and she goes under her desk to unplug the mouse and turns out shes wearing a thong under those tight pants
<laurent> think unsexy thoughts. think unsexy thoughts. no boner. no boner. uhh lets see if the cidr is /26 that gives me 6 bits to play with which is 64 minus two gives me 62 usable hosts on the subnet
<laurent> *whew* no boner
Comment: Just another day at the office...
#83745
<InkyGhost> So, I work for a college, managing one of their labs. The college had problems with people abusing the printers, so they switched to a "pay-per-page" system.
<InkyGhost> Our printer, however, is free and unmetered, but for Computer Science stuff only.
<InkyGhost> We've turned a blind eye to people printing off reports and whatnot, but lately someone's been abusing it. So, we're locking down the printer a little more.
<InkyGhost> What broke the camels back was some student repeatedly printing out this 30 page excerpt called "The History of Judaism" 4-5 times a day for 2 days.
<Morigann> So, when the students complain, you'll just tell them to blame the jews?
<InkyGhost> If it would not get me so incredibly fired, that would be the notice on the printer.
#148979
nugol: my buddy left his CRT monitor on and had a background of 'evertime you mastrubate god kills a kitten' and now 'masturbate' is burnt into the screen
#2895
<blazemore> RZR033DCC IS OFFERING VIRUSES INFECTED WITH WAREZ
#39579
<projectmayhem> last new year someone asked for my resolution and i said 1024x768
#22040
<broken_la> Ah hell, I'll just run the 2.6 kernel.
<broken_la> Bleeding edge.
<daku> 2.5 you mean
<daku> there is no 2.6 out as far as i know
<broken_la> It's on the net.
<broken_la> I got it off of Kazaa
#49447
<MrMog> god damn I hate overly "random" people who are thusly extremely predictable
<Kjiersz> heh
<MrMog> I wonder how you say lamp in french
#34211
<Heather> penises are scary =/
<Kevyn> how so?
<Heather> they feel weird.
<Kevyn> how do they feel?
<Heather> like the rubber lizard in spencer's.
#13655
<MrCoulomb> ok, i'm taking out the 3 of spades, and reinsert it into a random point
<MrCoulomb> and i assure you, it is random
<MrCoulomb> I'm now shuffling the cards
<MrCoulomb> and it's a real shuffle too
<MrCoulomb> Now.. I cut the deck.
<MrCoulomb> and there is your card
<MrCoulomb> the 3 of spades
<MrCoulomb> found instantly within a randomly shuffled deck
<Mort-Hog> How did you do that?..
#6970
<RunMe> I saw people fucking in the NRV parking lot once back in high school
<RunMe> it was pretty fucking disgusting
<glasnost> thats an appropriate type of disgusting.
#306775
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#21616
[20:10] * Aery has joined #online
[20:10] <Aery> boobs boobs boobs
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] <Aery> boobs
[20:10] <Trax> .
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] * Aery has left #online
[20:10] <Treen> She had an entire night's conversation in under a minute.
#33543
<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a seinor in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, 2 Super 8 video cassettes and 1 Roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks.
#25161
<FFChatter > est ce quelqu un sait comment on fait apparaitre le menu triche dans FFX??
<Drago> Anyone speak French?
<FFChatter > yes me
#149774
<Akaishi> WTF, this box has TONNES of cherrios in it!
<Akaishi> wait, its a box of Cherrios
<Sam_Hoy)...
#295392
< beoba> i d8ed a guy who couldnt get work study because harvard was giving more money than federal rules allowed
< Sub-Zero> you know, it took me a few seconds to understand d8ed.
< Divine> it's some kind of g8alk
Comment: #raspberryheaven