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#600
[17:05] <thinkmad> christ man
[17:05] <thinkmad> i just caught my dad jerking off
#294770
<LJB> get petrol, thats got the good alcohol
<Lord Adam> Dude
<Lord Adam> Petrol is like 10% alcohol
<Lord Adam> Max
<Lord Adam> Hmm
<Lord Adam> That's more than beer...
#33004
<smilodon> once upon a time
<smilodon> there was
<Mithandir> yes
<Mithandir> but then
<Mithandir> there wasn't
<Mithandir> "A summary of life, the universe and everything" by S. Milodon and M. Ithandir
#5888
<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"
#26348
<Drewcifer> the carpets all nice and lubricated
#28675
(@opp-noobs-) 27. A catholic minister is known as a?
(NoahB-r) pedophile
Comment: Submitted by Wheelman56
#12787
<Wilke> LEMME SHOW YOU MY FORECAST
<Wilke> COLD WITH LOTS OF FUCKING SNOW AND LIGHTNING
<Wilke> LOW OF REALLY FUCKING COLD
<Wilke> HIGH OF REALLY NOT QUITE AS FUCKING COLD
#30489
<Choco> If someone built me a new computer, I'd love them forever. o_o
<Choco> You know. With all that frolicking through dasies and stuff.
<InsaneKittyKat> in slow motion?
#255326
<rmuser> one time when I was a kid I must have pissed off my mom's husband because he was like, "don't make me take my belt off"
<rmuser> I didn't understand the implications of this
<rmuser> so I was like, "but then your pants will fall down"
#1049
(s|urpee) haha yuh me hakz0r the university gibson
(s|urpee) one day
(s|urpee) I was like hakz0ring it and stuff
(s|urpee) and I was like emailing support@cc and shit
(s|urpee) and then he emailed me back and told me to notify the lab guy that the comp next to me needed rebooting
#8748
<Bayls> I'm downloading "two girls in the woods stop to kiss and piss.mpg".
<Bayls> And it turns out it's an mpg of two chicks in thw woods who stop to kiss, and then piss.
<Bayls> Dunno what I was expecting.
#53949
<Rep> What do I say to my Mum when she discovers I bombed 26 days of meds in six fucking hours?
<kdogground2> Time flys when your having fun.
Comment: Yay for medication.
#61349
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...
Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
#297663
<~mooodi> you know how some people are wearing one white glove as a tribute to MJ?
<~mooodi> we should all grow billy mayes beards
#37927
quad341: Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day, give him a religion and he'll starve to death praying for a fish.
#57886
<Una> billions and billions of years from now, when the universe ends in the big crunch, I dont think anythings going to matter anymore
<plantlife> great pun
#65407
pastachees: Titanic is really bad
pastachees: the movie anyways
pcat: The boat didn't work so well either
#5596
<Fugazi> Like I said before, I never repeat myself!
#92674
Contrast: Can someone point me in the direction where I can find out how to set up a home network, aside from just using NFS?
Khrajin: This way ------------>
#297192
<aestetix> This is more of a good birthday present idea which lead to my mate getting dumped by his GF.
<aestetix> She couldn't afford buying him a bday present, so she gave him a bunch of slips for meals, massages, blowjobs etc.
<aestetix> She dumped him because for weeks he'd pull out a blowjob slip everytime they'd have an argument.
#7376
<herman> its easy as abxc
#294401
< sharkhat> and yeah, now im the weird guy at work because of the pooping asian drawing
#10626
<CompuMan> The tragedy of Canada is they could have had British culture, French cooking, and American technology, but instead they got American culture, British cooking, and French technology.
#10860
<rds|squall> im italian plz help me
#2151
<Kashan> I've stuck plenty of stuff up my ass and it's never been anything but apinful
<Gayo> Kashan, there's a big difference between good anal sex and sticking things up your ass.