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#56271
< WakkoWRNR> I am a proud member of PETA
< WakkoWRNR> People Eating Tasty Animals
#67817
<Stormscape> oh man I love that alzheimers commercial. it shows an old guy bringing home a 1L of milk, then when the wife goes to put it in the fridge there's like 50 of them in there already
#42441
EvilAngel remembers, a long time ago, when his bf at the time answered the door knowing it was jehovah's witnesses. naked. and... wet. :)
<EvilAngel> I remember hearing *door creak* "yyaah?" "Oh MY! I'm... soo sorry!" "No, no dude, it's all right, we just came, come on it!" "UhhNO! We'll.... come back later!"
<EvilAngel> "..... You SURE? We have enough lube for everyone!!"
#20795
<arm> it says i have 3 ircs running when i can only see 2
<arm> when i go to task manager
<arm> now wich one is it... hmm
* arm (mattchoo86@h68-144-169-29.cg.shawcable.net) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
#76256
<Chocoboko> AOL has a more aggressive marketing scheme than GEICO. :P
<Chocoboko> I'd love to get a slip in the mail offering me 1100 hours of free car insurance.
#302974
<Sculptor> i learnt binary numbers at the age of 7
<Sculptor> 2nd grade math
<Sculptor> commie countries always had great math courses
<CStubing> commie countries couldn't afford any more digits
Comment: EFnet#c++
#36405
<AdamR78> i told the headteacher i'm a ladyboy :|
<AdamR78> i meant to say, i'm a chelsea boy, lady
<AdamR78> and instead i said i'm a chelsea ladyboy
#84532
<Nightripper> Ah, airport security. After 9/11, things got hectic. My way is simple, direct, and effective.
<mcfuzzhead> what's your way?
<Nightripper> "Weapons are mandatory."
<Nightripper> Don't hijack this plane, no sir. Granny's packing a machete!
<Nightripper> "Sir, you didn't set off the metal detector. I'm gonna have to ask that you take this pistol with you."
#1774
<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction
#43555
<friendy> Verry: Google bought a satellite imagery company.
<dan--> Keyhole
<friendy> It's linked offa Maps now.
<friendy> Just click 'Satellite' instead of 'Map'.
<friendy> Check out how far out you can zoom.
<TedEBear-> hey! these sat images are wrong!
<TedEBear-> there's no "(c)2005 Google" in my pasture!
<TedEBear-> <grin>
<dan--> ted - have you looked in the last 24 hours?
Comment: Undernet #macintosh.
#2235
<spid0r> my friend had #taliban for awhile...fuckin ragheads even get owned on efnet
#305852
<Erik> I feel like I've found the holy grail of feline ownership, or something.
<Erik> My cat actually knows the correct course of action to take when I say ``shut the fuck up''.
#77357
<CPOK> so when are you americans gonna catch up with the rest of the world and use metric anyway?
<Molgorn> I'll drink to that!
<Molgorn> Anyone fancy a pint?
#60986
<itai> found a bug in the english wiki site :|
<Angela> what's the problem?
<itai> can't tell :x
<Gentgeen> that makes it hard to fix
<Angela> itai: could you explain where the bug is?
<itai> the site isn't secured
<JeLuF> secured?
<itai> yes
<itai> un protected
<Angela> anyone can edit it?
<itai> yes
Comment: irc.freenode.net #wikipedia
#41841
(+achy) one of my mates is doing a psychology course
(+achy) shes studying stuff on drug dependancies
(+achy) anyway her textbook has 12 signs of being an alcoholic, and if you fit 10 out of 12 you are definitely an alcoholic
(@fourex) how many do you fit?
(+achy) my girls and I fit all 12 perfectly
Comment: #bc on irc.uq.edu.au
#2570
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#44122
<michael`> i mean the whole idea of the separation of powers is that each branch of government will be power-hungry and try to grab as much power as possible by subverting the other two
<michael`> and they all, in theory, work against each other to produce an equilibrium
<Nithos> Heh, so if you're locked in a cage with a ravenous wolf, all you need is a pissed off tiger in there with you to keep you safe?
Comment: #geekissues
#1591
<ufodude> im trying to find a good place to get linux. i tried www.astakavista.com and i just got lost there with all these files and shit
#17323
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> oh geez, oh geez... my roomate was doing a mission in GTA3 (the one where you pick up the limo and all the mafia guys), well anyways, all the fish trucks are hitting him and blocking him in. finally he gets by but not before he catches fire and blows up.. he then punches his monitor, that's when i leave. i hear a keyboard getting slapped something hitting a wall and stuff falling off his desk.. all to the words of "FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, GOD DAMNIT! FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT!!!" oh jesus, he was sincere too.. it's like that vid where the guy threw his monitor down the stair well
#39765
<bball> it's for single computer geeks who live in their mom's basement eating hotpockets and Mountain Dew while whacking off to video games
* Lost buys it
#307308
Thurmond: I only know one Russian word
Thurmond: and it's the word for hedgehog
JBIC: I KNOW THREE WORDS
JBIC: Nyet
JBIC: Da
JBIC: Vodka
#16627
<The_Veteran> remember the reason you are an op DaMo
<Damo> coz I gave head
<The_Veteran> yes!
<The_Veteran> he admits it
#11385
[@Dz[Here]] Did you see Episode 2?
[@Dz[Here]] You'll want to have SEX with Natalie Portman after it
[@Dz[Here]] I seriously thing that... uh... $calc(($150 million / $7) / 2) guys want to have sex with her!
#42769
<cooltim> fuck christmas shopping sucks. The gifts given/recieved ratio seems to drop as you get older. christmas used to be good.
<meaty> Yep. There's no upload quota. :(
<cooltim> That's right. there should be some sort of law, stating that total cost of gifts given only has to be proportional to gifts recieved.
<meaty> Absolutely. At least some sort of shaping system where the receivers of low-priority 'Christmas traffic' understand the circumstances, as agreed to in the EULA.
<cooltim> lmao
<morphix> lol
<meaty> Perhaps superior prezzie traffic should be assigned higher priority the next year, thus encouraging the receipt of data which is significantly more tangable than socks.
<meaty> And we all know the evil that is bestowed on socks. On average, 33% of them mysteriously go missing every wash.
<meaty> Presents are a total waste of precious bandwidth.
<meaty> We need a protocol like Bittorrent, only for presents.
#51460
••• Join: Drehiel
(Anonymous) who is this?
(+Drehiel) Who am I? Who are you? Who is anyone? Who are we?
(Anonymous) wat
(+Drehiel) olololo
(Anonymous) Are you a real person?
(+Drehiel) Am I real? Are you real? Is anyone real? Are we real?
(Anonymous) Or is this some crap Microsoft made up.
(+Drehiel) Am I crap? Are you crap? Is anyone crap? Are we crap?
(Anonymous) yo
(Anonymous) cfdfd
(+Drehiel) Am I yo? Are you yo? Is anyone yo? Are we yo?
••• Quit: Anonymous (Anonymous@dm-18266.vnnyca.adelphia.net) (Exit: Quit)
(+Drehiel) I WIN
Comment: #screwthischat : irc.darkmyst.org