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#309173
<SmallR2002> I was just thinking back to a previous job where a team lead when escalating to me told me to 'just open the DLL in word and use the comparison thingie to see what changed in an update (of the DLL)'
#10725
urban13eatnik : I wonder. is there a feeling when you see a woman in porno and you're sure that she's someone you know?
BeHeMoTh101 : yes
urban13eatnik : what is it?
BeHeMoTh101 : it's called IKNOWDATBITCH
#14686
<pKx> My car was running without the battery installed.. man, the alternator was spilling amps all over my driveway
<pKx> how do you clean that shit up?
<`72`Monte> lol pkx :>
<spazzer> i usually use a dirty sock
<spazzer> oh
<spazzer> wrong topic
#230434
<MajorWood> fack
<MajorWood> i just clogged the toilet
<MajorWood> had to put on a latex glove to manually unplug
<LiquidManZero> You fisted your toilet...?
#5113
<reub> if i ever met you guys in real life i would never touch your rulers
#46633
<Evilmice> anyway brb nature is calling
<Evilmice> and it sounds nasty
<Spaniard> you have a beatiful way with words
#6975
<vampyr> i didn't lose it in the sense of i can't find it
<vampyr> i lost it networkically
#297590
<@tom> Flava Flav, a reality television star, stopped by to see Michael Jackson's family at their compound in Encino about 4 p.m. today but left shortly afterward.
<@markbach> they needed him to determine the time of death
#297567
<jgw> huh apparently "blackberry" means any phone with a physical keyboard and now this dumb fucking end user, who i graciously agreed to help with their personal phone is now pissed because i recommended a piece of third party software for the blackberry to connect to our calendaring server, and it does not work with their "blackberry" aka a Palm Fucking Centro
<jgw> i need to document this incident and point people requesting favors to it with a firm "no!"
<jgw> facepalm
<RangerRick> jgw: don't you mean, faceblackberry?
#5701
<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it?
#297665
<Strengths> I have this huge zit on the side of my nose :/
<subcontinental> Paint it gold or silver and it'll look like a peircing
<Strengths> that's ... brilliant!
#223767
<Scrumps> Hm... how do you log a user out remotely?
<ShinCS> sniper rifle
#17897
<deh> fuck
<deh> man lead singer of hanson
<deh> fuck shes so hot
#711
<iln> she was taking her pants off one time
<iln> and her underwear
<iln> and i was watching from the back
<iln> and i said "damn. you have a nice ass."
<iln> then she got on all fours and said "you wanna put it in?"
<iln> and thats how i stole kristin doan's anal virginity.
#27904
<@redfox> fuk
<@redfox> just found out my sisters been in labour for 7 hours
<@bovineaux> omg ur gonna be a daddy!
#55833
Vamp i s h ly: I just prefer dating men because girls are so complicated
Kick the Can 97: i concur
Kick the Can 97: except for the dating men part
#113837
Chelsea: ...why do I always check Yahoo's bulk folder when I know that almost nothing goes in there that I'd actually want?
William: dunno
Chelsea: I've been getting an unusual amount(read:two per day) of spam mail that doesn't get redirected there lately, though.
William: Well, the spammers change their tactics every so often
Chelsea: Yeah
Chelsea: Their "try to sell Viagra to a female" tactic hasn't changed, though :p
#151403
<Bob_work> Well, that was a disturbing message on the AS400
<Bob_work> "System Operator not found."
<Bob_work> I'M RIGHT HERE!!!
<Bob_work> LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!!!
<GeekSoldier> haha.
<GeekSoldier> you've got an existentialist mainframe.
Comment: #If it starts singing "Still Alive", I'm outta here.
#34139
<Valeria> This is my computer. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My computer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life.
<Valeria> Without me my computer is useless. Without my computer, I am useless. I must use my computer well. I must K-Line faster than my enemy who is trying to K-Line me.
<Valeria> I must pwn him before he pwns me. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My computer and myself are defenders of my server. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy ... but Microsoft. Amen.
#10737
<kas> did you getta message from Mike last night?
<kas> he msged you on aim
<SDMF> he msged me?
<kas> i put in big bold letters
<kas> JOHN ITS MIKE LETS CYBER NOW
<kas> and yur roommate answered
<kas> and was like who's this
<kas> and ize like
<kas> Johns cyber boyfriend, Mike
<kas> is he there?
<kas> i wanna cyber sooo bad
<kas> yur roommate blocked me or signed off
#18516
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, penises shouldn't leak
TX Luder : uh... does yours?
BeHeMoTh101 : ok after you pee
TX Luder : oh, yeah
BeHeMoTh101 : you could stand over the toilet forever and not be drained
TX Luder : oh, well i manufactured a crude devise using a valve from a prosthetic heart and some exopy glue... it works wonders
BeHeMoTh101 : how does that even function
TX Luder : you know, i probably should have figured out how it would work before i glued it to my penis, but ya win some ya lose some
#47147
Capra Sesso Uomo: "President Maaouya Ould Sid'Ahmed Taya of Mauritania is overthrown in a military coup while attending the funeral of King Fahd in Saudi Arabia."
Capra Sesso Uomo: Haha, gotta love these countries. You leave them for a minute, and BAM...
Capra Sesso Uomo: I wish we could do that...
Capra Sesso Uomo: "I need to see Bush." "Bush isn't here right now." "Well...I'm president now." "Hmm...okay. I didn't really like him, anyway."
#33905
<RandomSpork> I saw Dawn of the Dead yesterday
<RandomSpork> ha ha ha
<RandomSpork> about halfway through the movei
<RandomSpork> the theater starts to get this really BAD smell
<@MrMog> oo?
<RandomSpork> and there's this annoying drip drip dripping sound
<@MrMog> oo???
<RandomSpork> turns out there was a bunch of 7 years olds in the upper seats with large cokes
<@MrMog> ..
<@MrMog> that story sucked
<RandomSpork> but it was TRUE
<@MrMog> I thought there was a dead body or something
<@MrMog> jeez
<RandomSpork> it wasn't coke that was dripping
<@MrMog> ...
<@MrMog> eww
Comment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
#44127
<ThreeWork> man I love the theoretical situations we propose around here
<ThreeWork> my boss proposes "You're coming into the parking lot and your
brakes fail. The AR lady (who's REALLY bitchy and pissed me
off my second day here) and the facilities lady (who's so
fucking mean she literally can't keep a facilities handyman
here more than 3 months) are crossing the parking lot. Which
one do you hit?"
<ThreeWork> So I think for a moment, then respond "I handbrake slide and
hit both of them."
#94997
<nightwolf> What are your thoughts on chivalry? Do you hold the door open for women?
<nightwolf> Or do you rush through and let it close in her face?
<worrydream> I rush through and lock the door behind me. If she's able to climb through the window, she's a keeper.
<nightwolf> Do you open the window for her?
<worrydream> Yes. But it's the second-story window.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her a ladder?
<worrydream> No. I expect her to lash together a ladder out of rope and wood.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her rope?
<worrydream> No. I expect her to weave a rope out of natural available materials.
<worrydream> Grasses and vines and stuff.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her those materials?
<worrydream> I leave her seeds.