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#18388
(Calrathan attempts to use Dragon Dictate)
<Calrathan> I can talk quite quickly into it so long as iodine nun C8 my words pressed to enter
<Calrathan> I can talk to wait quickly into it so long as I mean on C8 my words press and Turkey
#10979
<Dryzzid{SAS}> OOOOOW
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I just sat on my nuts :(
* Jaedra stares at Dryzz
<Jaedra> dude...
<Dryzzid{SAS}> What? I sat down the wrong way..
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I crushed one :(
#300636
<@mikesch> Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet.
#298
<DigDug> how about i make a special back door, just for you :-)
<Amanda_> Oh, that'll work just as well
<McMoo> pen just invited you to have ass sex with him
#8531
[invertiga] back
[Lord-Data] we missed you
[Lord-Data] wait.. no we didnt
#2200
<D\TOX> my wife pushed from 2-4 pm and then they said "fuck it" and got the foreceps and all that fun stuff
<D\TOX> but they gave her an episiotimy
<D\TOX> the doc took out these scissors with teeth and cut the skin between her vagina and anus
<CoMBo> so when she takes a shit, it can leak into her cunt now?
<D\TOX> no, I don't know what it's like in canada, but they stiched her up afterwards
<D\TOX> they didn't give her some timbits and say "go back to your igloo"
#15709
<PetrDoubt> Wow, that's elite. Customer's DSL is down, so he sends a partial
traceroute. The middle of the traceroute. Not the beginning. Not the part
where it stops. The middle.
<PetrDoubt> "My DSL is down. Here's some hops in alternet."
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, dude.
#4082
<[ric]> Jim, tsk, tsk... you're getting as bad as me :)
<JibberJim> Eh, I've never been unnatural with a goat.
<[ric]> jim... ok, almost as bad as me
#52781
renegadeaven: I finally figured out what DDR is.
renegadeaven: It is reflex training for Japanese fighter pilots.
renegadeaven: They are planning to attack Pearl Harbor again.
#33211
<ducklord> I'm having pink "waves" flowing over my screen at all times
<ducklord> anyone knows wtf is up with that?
<kitchen> too much acid?
Comment: #GeekIssues on EFNet
#103911
<Pikeman> Heh... I wonder if they ever relcate the Los Angeles airport... will the old one be called EX-LAX?
#55997
<Porque> So, per usual, my town is filled with rednecks.
<Porque> Needless to say, this makes the day more interesting when there's a dead deer in the middle of the road.
<Porque> Since there's such little traffic going through here every day, a deer died in the middle of the road. The bus driver pulls over by it, and I'm sitting there going "wtf are you waiting for, move the damn carcass".
<Porque> So we end up waiting for about a minute. I'm still sitting there, stunned by the stupidity, when this redneck BLAZES down the street in his truck, stopping on a dime right by us. The guy hops out with a chainsaw, revs it. HE SAWS THE HORNS OFF OF THE DEER AND LEAVES THE BODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
<Porque> Turns out someone on the bus called the guy on a cellphone and let him know.
#4776
<ToiletDuk> i'm known as the boston poonmangler
<Lucent> yet you are in atlanta?
<ToiletDuk> jeup
<ToiletDuk> that's why i own
#18965
<Pseudonym> I love how all through GTA3 there's an anti-drug theme
<Pseudonym> You spend half or more of your missions stopping people from pushing SPANK
#104
<madog-> my gf bought me a shirt 'Got Root?'
<Erich> madog: now now, no confusing your gf for your mom
#852
<doraemon`> one of my best friends sells herself for 150 bucks a trick
<doraemon`> she rules
#23106
<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you had cousins as hot as mine."
#1267
uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause
#48972
<trev0r> we were meant to be handing in our coursework in english today
<trev0r> and this one jackass calls out: 'i didn't do it'
<trev0r> the teacher's mad and, you know, wants an explanation
<trev0r> the jackass simply says: 'i was too busy getting laid to do it last night'
<trev0r> and before i could even process that sentence the teacher fires back:
<trev0r> 'now that we've discussed 10 seconds of your evening, why haven't you done this work?'
<trev0r> now, the class is starting to laugh, but this dude isn't budging
<trev0r> he pauses, then, as the laughing subsides, he gives a wry smile and simply says:
<trev0r> 'you should know, you were there with me, miss...'
<trev0r> the class is gone by now, but the teacher is on fire today
<trev0r> she looks around and says:
<trev0r> 'i know, and i never got paid'
<trev0r> the jackass runs out of the class hiding the tears as the rest of us are in fits
#13443
<[d]-kCmCg-> at least your computer didnt lock up like a nervous virgin on prom night....
#764
<DigDug> looks like microsoft is extending http
<DigDug> HTTP 403.9 - Access Forbidden: Too many users are connected
<DigDug> Internet Information Services
<OxOO> that must be visual http++
#131840
<MartinRandom> Creepier yet the only japanese I know is how to say hello, goodbye, and how to respond when being raped
Comment: #raspberryheaven
#34704
<Dark-> i need more monitors
<SlackDug> Dark-: www.amazon.com
<Dark-> correction then: I need more money
Comment: #geekissues
#171657
< evitable> i always rather liked badminton
< evitable> except for the time i hit a shuttlecock into a tree
< evitable> then lost a racket trying to get it out
< evitable> lost a rake tryin to get the racket
< evitable> and lost a fucking 2x4 trying to get anything
< evitable> then ruined my pants with sap
#6314
<GnarlyBob> I mean how could *anyone* have been surprised when Rob Halford came out of the closet?
<M0rph13> I was damnit :)
<GnarlyBob> He could be a stunt double for one of the Village People