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#309037
<worf> goddamn how i hate DB2 ....
<worf> "LIMIT 2000" ... nope, too easy ... "FETCH FIRST 2000 ROWS ONLY"
#304088
<Onyx> playing hide and seek with a cat tis harrd
<Onyx> he never acts surprised when he finds me, it's always just like "*sigh* I knew you were there from the start ... stupid human"
#7428
<Phuser> my fan club has a member
<Phuser> my member has a fan club
#6052
<fo0bar> I once has a (poor attempt) at a pr0n site, and was working with iBill on a support issue, and this young woman on the other end asks for what the site is so she can test it and I say "uhh, www.pussy4less.com" -- didn't even phase her
#31957
<kotetsu> i just put a suppository up my ass
<Ash> It's a unique feeling, ne? ^_^
<Ash> You shove them in partway, then they just get sucked up like an auto-loading CD drive.
#7454
<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable
#11264
<Saber> I had a full can of soda
<Saber> and I slipped
<Saber> and dropped it above my KB
<Saber> and I caught it
<Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
<Saber> so I inverted it
<Saber> and it turns out
<Saber> it was rightside up
#446
<SYch0> my mom got rearended
#15566
Leftist i like songs where they count or spell things, to fill space.
Eeyore so you're a big fan of sesame street songs, leftist?
#291
<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area
#33197
<Celeste> hey walra, fucking me, to a man, is what a big bucket of fried chicken is to you
<walra> oooooh
#1813
<doobedoobedoo> Arlaswecryfhrljarufvvutuutwdd
<doobedoobedoo> You know what's funny?
<doobedoobedoo> That's probably a word in welsh.
#31858
<Karina> there are two people having mutual masturbation on my bed
<Karina> i'm going to blow.
<Gravity> what?
<Gravity> they're fingering each other on your bed?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> male and female?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> and are they both cute?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> and you got on here to tell me about it ?
<Karina> yes
<Gravity> and didn't go join?
<Karina> no
<Gravity> If you have two hot people diddling around in your bed, and you're bi, and they're open, and you get on irc to tell someone else about it instad of joining/watching... You might be an addict.
#3619
<FreshBrew> BEAT MY CHILDREN
<kolby> You take that B off and I won't even charge ya.
#7960
<Agent_grey> Scanner works! scanner wooooorrrkss!!
<artforz> how did you make it work?
<Agent_grey> its very very technical and scientific, involving the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its structural integrity
<Agent_grey> i whacked it really really hard
#39938
<NuBus> Windows was funny
<NuBus> with the usb keyboard
<NuBus> I plugged it in
<NuBus> A window popped up. Windows has found a USB Composite Device!
<NuBus> Would you like to install the driver?
<NuBus> Installing driver
<NuBus> I've installed the driver!
<NuBus> Windows has found a USB Human Interface Device!
<NuBus> Would you like to install the driver?
<NuBus> Installing driver
<NuBus> I've installed the driver!
<NuBus> Windows has found a USB keyboard
<NuBus> Would you like to install the driver?
<NuBus> Installing driver
<NuBus> I've installed the driver!
<NuBus> Windows gets very excited when things work. It tells me over & over.
<NuBus> "look mum! look what I did huh huh huh I did it huh I did I did!"
<NuBus> on linux I just plugged the fricken keyboard in and started typing.
#27791
<Dragonaut> ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun dildoman is cumming!
<Krizzz989> remember earlier when you were asking how many beers is to much?
#29400
<oreo> If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
#2596
<jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.
#299740
<Plagman> well calls on my phone tend to panic its kernel since the last modifications I made
<Plagman> but nethack plays great.
#1327
* Cybertrx is 5'3, 198 pounds, ugly, balding, highly skilled programmer. All my shirts are yellow with cumstains. I am seeking a tall, gorgeous, stunningly hot babe in her early 20s with an amazing rack and thick luxurious blond hair. /msg me
#311241
<technoid> All of the shirts say "slimmer fit". Are there any "unix admin" sized ones?
#60302
<Babushka> i have to piss
<nash> then go piss :P
<Babushka> i can't
<nash> why not
<Babushka> because...there's a baby spider that is using my right pant's leg as a mooring for his web...i don't want to ruin his work
<nash> ahhaha
<Babushka> i haven't left this seat for nearly three hours. i better have a damn good excuse for my husband when he gets home and asks why the fuck i pissed myself
#56905
<MrMiyagi> Do I seem gay to you?
<Jenna> no, vince..why?
<MrMiyagi> Well..I was watching pro wrestling and..I'm not talking like full fledged boner or nothin but..
#50343
<polpotpie> Guy came into the photo store today to pick up a roll we had developed.
<polpotpie> He goes, “I have no idea what’s on this roll.”
<polpotpie> I said with a smile, “Sir, sometimes those can be the best ones!”
<polpotpie> He replies, “My son was killed in a car crash 2 weeks ago and this roll was in his car.”
<polpotpie> C’est la vie.